Hold On
by todream
Summary: From different worlds, Jacob & Nessie find each other despite the dire consequences that'll ensue if they continue their affair. Will his past & her sheltered life find a love that lasts, or will family secrets destroy it? AH (A grown-up Ness and Jacob story)
1. Prologue

"Hold on. Hold on to yourself, for this is going to hurt like hell..."

~Sarah McLaughlin

He sat on the edge of the bed in the hotel room and held the envelope he found on her pillow in his hand. He ran his thumb across the _Jacob_ written in her soft handwriting, and he began to feel sick to his stomach. Last night had been the best night of his life-one he would never forget. That reason alone kept him from opening the letter. Jacob closed his eyes and could still feel her touch on his skin. His body began to ache, and he stared at the envelope, scared of what he might read. He knew as soon as he read its contents, his descent into a living hell would begin.

~o~

Slowly going to repost this...

A big hello to those of you who have read this story already back when the fandom was crazy and new. To those new readers, I say, "buckle up, Buttercup."


	2. 1 What Was I Thinking?

What Was I Thinking

"Oh, I know what I was feeling, but what was I thinking?"

~Dierks Bentley

"They're off limits. Their mommas and daddies didn't send them to this expensive, private college for them to come home with the likes of you. No touching," Sam, the forty-something supervisor, told Jacob on his first day on the job. The no touching policy wasn't an official rule, but Sam had learned the hard way that fooling around with the students was bad news. No one in the shop knew the story, but the name Leah was never to be mentioned. But most of all, he didn't like for the guys he employed to break his rules.

Jacob enjoyed working with his hands, which made this job perfect for him. He worked on the grounds crew, who kept up with the yard work around the school. He also helped repair anything that needed to be fixed. It was a trait that just came naturally to him. Jacob was a quick study, and it made Sam glad he took a chance on the kid. Jacob never complained about the job: good benefits, better hours, and the best environment. He even got to work with Quil, who helped him get the job in the first place. It didn't hurt that all three hailed from the same reservation.

He heeded Sam's warning for an entire year. He made sure he only dated girls from the reservation; it made things easier that way. However, the problem with his system was that there were only so many girls available, and he really didn't click with any of them. Up until now, Jacob's life had been mostly about his father, his buddies at the reservation, and his job. Girls just weren't a big deal to him.

At work, he made sure he kept a safe distance from the students. Even though girls weren't his priority, he still enjoyed the view he had when he mowed the grounds by the female dorms. He made sure he did nothing more than smile politely at the passing girls who often stared a little too long at him. Needing the job to help out around the house, Jacob followed the rules to a "T" at work. Luckily, no one had ever really caught his eye.

No one had made him look twice until she entered the maintenance building on that fateful day.

She came with a small group of girls who were rushing for one of the sororities on campus. Apparently their big sisters—like any of the crew cared or knew what that meant—were making them volunteer for trash duty. Looking mortified, the young ladies wearing their matching sorority attire approached the shabby maintenance building that rested hidden behind the football field.

"Hi! We're from Delta Delta, and we have to, like, pick up trash in the broad daylight," a blonde said to Quil. He looked up from his duties and smiled at the good-looking girl standing in front of him. Quil always had girls on his mind, and he couldn't understand why Jacob didn't think the same way. The blonde girl looked at the tall, handsome boy in front of her and started to play with the ends of her hair.

"It's so embarrassing," another blonde complained to her friends.

"Yea, we, um, need the supplies for trash duty. We were told you would have them," the only brunette in the bunch said, rocking back and forth on her feet.

One of the blondes mouthed the words, "He's so hot!" to her friends while motioning to Quil. The three girls giggled together. They had a secret code the guys had no way of deciphering. To Jacob, the girls who entered the maintenance building were like most of the others on campus—too unnaturally tan, too made up, and too fake. Jacob knew that the only interest these girls would have in guys like Quil and himself would be a quick fling and a fast roll in the hay. Jacob didn't like the idea of sleeping with any random girl just to put a notch on his bedpost; Quil, on the other hand, would screw any girl who acted remotely interested.

Quil didn't have to worry about Sam's policy because his conquests never went past the first date, or the first lay. Jacob knew that he didn't need to bother with any of the girls here. He wanted a lasting relationship, so that ruled out anyone at this school.

He was just about to get the items the girls needed when he saw her—the one that caused him to drop the wrench on his toe. She had been hidden behind the three that were hovering around Quil. She didn't fit the stereotype he held in his head of the typical sorority girl. He watched, dumbfounded, as the same girl pulled a rubber band off her delicate wrist and tied her long, copper curls into a ponytail. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever witnessed a girl do, and that made him forget what the hell he was doing.

This girl said nothing as she waited patiently behind the others.

"Hey, Black!" he heard Quil say. "What's the matter with you? Go get the orange vests and trash sticks for the pretty ladies." He walked over to Jacob. "And put your eyes back in your head, for God's sake, will ya'?"

"You're one to talk, horn dog," Jacob said back to Quil in his best smart-ass tone.

He stopped what he was doing to go find the supplies. Shit! he thought as he tried to walk after smashing his toe. That's going to leave a mark. He tried to keep his focus on finding the items for the girls, but he kept her in his peripheral vision. Oblivious to the gawking stares of the other girls, he made his way to the storage room at the back of the building.

"It's so smelly back here. How do you stand it?" one of the blondes asked Jacob as they walked. The nasally tone of her voice unnerved him, and he tried not to let it show.

"Jessica, that's kind of rude," the brunette whispered and was met with glaring eyes from her friend.

"Would you just shut up, Lauren?" she taunted , and with a wave of her hand, she focused her attention back on Jacob.

"Uh, I guess you just get used to it. I'm outside most of the time anyway," he answered politely, not wanting to get in the middle of their bickering.

He found the box that the girls would need and handed it to the one who sounded like she hailed from The Valley in California. She stared up at Jacob, who towered over her with his six foot seven frame, her admiring eyes raking across his body slowly. "Wow, like, you're kind of cute," she said coyly and flipped her blonde extensions over her shoulder.

Jacob blushed as much as his russet skin would allow, but he let go of the box as soon as the girl had it in her grip. He ignored her lingering stare, and she sensed the snub. He didn't seem to pick up on the advances of this girl. Bothered that he didn't notice her, she started barking out orders.

"Okay, ladies, let's go be humiliated in front of, like, everyone," the Valley Girl Jessica said.

Then the girl who he couldn't take his eyes off of glanced his way, which, in turn, caused him to lose all sanity. She never said a word, but he was smitten immediately after one look from her brown eyes. She smiled a crooked smile at him, took her trash supplies, and left the building. He stared at her until she was out of sight. The memory of her smile and the short shorts, which exposed her perfect legs, were seared into his brain.

"Don't tell me one of those sorority girls is the future Mrs. Black," Quil joked.

"Shut up, dude. It's not like that. Besides, you're the one with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Just for saying that, you're so dead," Jacob hollered at Quil. The smaller one tried to hide from Jacob, but it didn't last long. He was thrown in a tight head lock by the bigger one, and his grip only relented when Quil acknowledged Jacob as Supreme Motorcycle God.

For the rest of the afternoon, Jacob's thoughts went back to the copper-haired girl who had graced him with her presence. He had trouble focusing on the weed-eating that he was doing around a few of the buildings. He even found himself watching the passing people, hoping he could catch another glimpse of her. He would not be the same knowing that she would be walking around the campus where he worked… and knowing that she was off-limits. He would always want what he couldn't have.

~o~O~o~

"The alternator is out on the university's work truck again, Jake. I don't know what the hell to do with it," Sam said on a warm Friday morning. To Jacob, Sam almost felt like a second father, and Jacob reminded Sam of himself twenty years ago. He hoped Jacob would be smarter than he had been.

"I can take a look at it. I was supposed to mow the practice fields today, though," Jacob said. He hadn't met a vehicle he couldn't fix yet. When he was younger, his father taught him that a car was like a woman. Take care of it, and it will treat you right. If you drive it too hard and neglect the maintenance on it, it'll leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere. He often wondered how motorcycles fit into his father's philosophy. Jacob had always liked the possibility of danger.

"I'll get Quil to mow them for you. It's saved our department a lot of money having you around to fix these problems. Helps me keep my job, and it helps me keep you two fools employed. That's good news for me." Sam gave Jake a hard time, but he liked the kid because he never gave him any trouble.

"No problem, Sam. I'll get a look at it right now," he said and headed off to spend the day under the hood of a truck.

Jacob spent the morning trying to diagnose the problem of the truck. He figured it was just the alternator, but he wasn't sure. He always took his time fixing the engines, wanting to make sure he did everything right. Jacob could feel the afternoon heat emanate throughout the building. It had no air conditioning, so the large garage doors were open most of the time. There was barely a breeze today, and it made Jacob miserable inside the hot building.

 _I should have taken the mowing job. It would have been a lot cooler than in here_ , he thought to himself. The shirt that was drenched in sweat fell to floor, and he immediately felt better. He never minded being shirtless. He was proud of his toned body-he'd worked hard to get it. He then rolled himself under the truck to make sure there weren't any other surprise problems with the engine. He heard footsteps and saw a pair of legs he had no problem recognizing. It was her. He felt himself getting nervous, which rarely ever happened to him. He always exuded confidence… until that girl walked in.

"Um, hello?" the delicate voice said. She sounded a little nervous, but he didn't notice because the softness in her tone made him forget where he was. He tried to collect himself before he came out from under the truck. The way he felt right now, he could easily become a blubbering idiot.

"Hey, give me just second," he said. He put down the wrench he was holding, not wanting to repeat his clumsiness from the other day. Then he slowly slid out from under the truck to see the girl who'd completely jumbled up his brain. She was wearing short shorts again with a fitted, red t-shirt. He admired the perfect body that was attached to the most beautiful face. He knew a conversation would be difficult with her when he couldn't even concentrate around her.

"Hi," she said, smiling a nervous smile. He watched her eyes as he picked himself off the floor. Jacob had seen girls look at him, so he assumed that he was an attractive guy. He never realized just how attractive he was. The girl's eyes lingered on Jacob's chest, which he noticed, and he liked it—a lot. His nervousness eased slightly.

She was holding the box that she and her friends had borrowed the other day. "I came to return these." She met his gaze, and he stared back. He wondered if a girl like her could possibly be interested in a guy like him.

"Thanks," Jacob replied and took the box from her, feeling a shock the moment his hand touched hers in the exchange. If he could just keep touching her, he would hold the box forever. He tried not to be an idiot and took it from her. "Where's all your other friends?" he asked, setting the box on the floor.

"Oh, they had other things going on. They delegated the job to me," she said. She didn't sound or act like her friends. The girl in front of him seemed genuine, and that made her even sexier to him. "I wasn't busy," she added.

"You say it like it's a bad thing...um, coming here," Jacob pouted. He wanted to find out if she'd come hoping to see him or if she just drew the short straw. He wasn't sure if she felt the same attraction he did.

"No, don't take it the wrong way. I'm not upset at all about coming here. Forgive me if I sounded snobby or anything like that," she answered apologetically.

She wanted him to forgive her, and he laughed to himself. He's the one who needed forgiveness. If she knew the thoughts he had about her lately, she would probably slap him and leave. She didn't look like the kind of girl who would even do the things he had imagined – though he could always hope that looks were deceiving. She had the body of a woman that was hard to ignore. But underneath those curves, he sensed an innocence that both scared him and turned him on at the same time.

"No, I don't care why you're here. It's nice that you are. Usually it's just us guys working. It's nice to have a breath of fresh air in here."

She smiled at his comment, and it made him feel good. If Quil were here, Jacob would not hear the end of it. Quil was always quick to 'take away Jacob's man-card.' The way he spoke to this girl would certainly get it revoked.

"My friends call me Nessie," she said suddenly. She stuck out her hand in the customary way of introducing oneself to someone new.

"I'm Jacob. It's really nice to meet you." He took her hand in his and couldn't help but get a thrill from the softness of her skin. He pictured touching more of that skin with his hands, running them up and down her body. _Get a grip, Jake!_ He tried to think of something to talk about, but his brain let him down. He had nothing.

Still speechless, he ran his thumb across hers, and she seemed to reluctantly release her grip. "Well, I guess I need to get going. It was really nice meeting you. Maybe I'll see you around?" she asked. Jacob couldn't say anything. He didn't want her to leave, but what in the world would possibly make her stay out here in this hot, smelly building? He obviously wasn't the best conversationalist.

He watched her and her beautiful legs walk out the door. "Nice to meet you, too," he said to her a little too late. He walked to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. _That girl is going to be the end of me,_ he thought to himself. As he dried his face, he heard her scream. He didn't think twice about what to do and immediately ran towards the sound of the scream, dropping the towel on the floor.

There she was, on the ground, holding her ankle. "I stepped in a stupid hole," she cried. Jacob could tell the injury hurt her badly and that she was trying to hold back tears. It didn't work; they came anyway.

"Here, let's get you up. I've got some ice in the garage." Instinctively, he helped her off the ground and gently walked her back into the building. He could easily have carried her in his arms, which he would have enjoyed, but he refrained, not wanting to over do it. He settled for enjoying the way she held on to his arms. He did like the way the contact felt.

Jacob sat Nessie down on a chair and propped her injured ankle on another one. He got an ice pack from the freezer in the break room.

"Could I be any more clumsy? That hole was huge! Of course, I didn't see it. My coach is going to kill me," she said, opening up to Jacob and grabbing her ankle at the same time.

"Your coach? I thought you were in a sorority?" he questioned.

"I run—I mean I ran cross country. Looks like I'll be out for a few weeks. I'm rushing a sorority because I kind of have to," she admitted.

Jacob realized her perfect legs were runner's legs, and he'd always liked athletic girls. "Why would you rush if you don't really want to?" he asked, puzzled.

"Oh, family stuff I don't need to bother you about. Talking about my two crazy aunts and legacies gets boring after a while," she answered. He didn't understand what she meant by legacies, but he knew about family duties. He could relate to that part. Most of his paycheck went to take care of his wheelchair-bound father. He would have loved to open his own repair shop, but he didn't have the money to do it. This job was his family duty.

"Which part did you hurt, the inside or outside?"

"Inside. It just buckled underneath me. It made a horrible popping noise," she moaned. She gave an involuntary sniffle brought on by her crying. Jacob placed the ice pack on her ankle bone and wrapped a clean towel around it. He sat in the chair across from her and held her small foot in his large hands.

"You might need to see the doctor on campus. It's getting pretty swollen," he told her.

"Ugh, do I have to? How am I going to explain this one?" she asked, pondering the idea in her head.

"I don't know; it's up to you," he answered. He liked seeing her vulnerable; it made him feel useful.

"I'm really so embarrassed that you're here to see this. You don't have to take care of me… unless you want to. I could always call one of my sorority sisters to come and get me."

He grimaced at the idea of Jessica or Lauren taking care of her. They would probably want to know what would be in it for them. "No, I don't mind at all. You're in good hands."

Nessie put her head in her hands. "Shit! I can't have this happen," she said getting mad at herself. "I have too much going on to be hurt. We're in the middle of rush, and we have a meet this weekend."

"I'm sorry about your meet; I would have liked to see you run. I can take you to the infirmary, but only if you want me to." Jacob looked at her with sympathetic eyes. He hated that she hurt herself, but at least it gave him a reason to touch her and be with her longer.

"That would be great." She stared at him, and he didn't want her to stop. "My friend was wrong, you know."

Jacob looked at her in confusion. He'd forgotten about Jessica's flirtatious comment on the day they'd met. He rubbed her ankle with his thumb unconsciously.

"You're not cute," she said, clearly a little embarrassed.

"I guess I should say _thanks_?" he answered sarcastically.

"No. You're not cute at all. You're...well, you're sort of beautiful." She broke his gaze. "I can't believe I just said that," she said to herself.

After hearing her words, he gained a little confidence and decided to use it to his advantage. "I think you're absolutely the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He gazed at her, and she smiled back at him. He was sure she heard his heart pounding.

There had never been a more perfect moment for Jacob. Even if it happened in the back of the dirty, smelly garage, he would always remember Nessie in this moment. It was then that he knew he was in trouble because he started to think that Sam's rule was made to be broken.

"Jake!" Quil's voice reverberated throughout the metal building. "Are you ready for lunch? He stopped yelling when he saw Jacob sitting across from the girl who'd made his friend act sprung the past few days. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were busy." Quil tried to stifle his laughter, but it didn't work.

Jacob knew that Quil had him right where he wanted him. From this point forward, Quil would use Jacob's weakness—the girl sitting across from him—against him and show no mercy. He could expect constant kissing noises and inappropriate sexual comments from Quil. But Jacob could endure it because he knew that taking care of her was worth it.

"Quil, this is Nessie. She just twisted her ankle outside on the pothole you were supposed to fill in yesterday. So, I'm sure she'd like to thank you for her injury." Jacob glared at his friend.

"Nice to meet you, Nessie. Sorry about the pothole." Quil's arrogance had been taken down a notch.

"No worries. It's nice to meet you, too," she replied as she squinted her eyes in pain.

"Quil, I'm going to take Nessie to the infirmary; you'll have to find someone else to eat lunch with you," Jacob said. He stood up and gently set Nessie's foot on the chair. "I need to go get the Gator."

"And a shirt," yelled Quil. Jacob made a mental note to put on a shirt before taking her to the doctor. The infirmary probably wouldn't let him in without it.

"What's a Gator?" she asked. "We can just walk there, can't we?"

"Well, for one, with your ankle so sore, it would take us forever to get there. And two, the Gator is one of man's best machines ever. I can't believe you don't know what it is. I'm driving you to the doctor in it," Jacob explained. Getting to borrow the school's equipment for his personal use was another bonus of the job.

"I guess that sounds fine," she said, not exactly sure what to expect.

"Stay put, Jake. I'll go get it and bring it here. You stay here and make out and do whatever you were doing," Quil joked. Jacob knew the ragging had begun, though he did like the idea of kissing Nessie.

By the time Jacob had walked Nessie to the front of the building, Quil had made his way to them with the Gator. Quil jumped out. "All right, I'm starving. I'll see you later, Jake. Have fun," he yelled, and Jacob thought he had heard some kissing noises.

Jacob waved goodbye and helped Nessie up to the passenger seat. He made sure that his touches didn't linger too much or rest on the wrong spot. He had to be very careful with her. He had to try and rid his mind of its thoughts of being anywhere near her, touching her, or kissing her. Sam had made it clear. If he cared for his job, Nessie would have to be just another girl on campus to him.

They made it to the infirmary and checked her in at the front desk. It took a few minutes for the nurse to make a phone call, get the paperwork processed, and whatever else she had to do. Meanwhile, Jacob watched Nessie wince intermittently when the pain flared. She attempted to suffer silently, not wanting him to know how badly her injury hurt.

"You okay?" he asked. He sat beside her in the waiting area, making sure he wasn't touching her in any way. In not touching her, Jacob became very aware of how much he wanted to.

"Yeah, it'll be fine," she said, trying to act like it didn't bother her.

"Exam room one, please," the nurse finally called.

Jacob started to help her down the hall to the room but the nurse stopped him. "Are you family?" she asked.

"No. Just a friend," he answered.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait in the waiting area until she's seen the doctor. Family only. It's school policy," said the nurse as she turned and walked away. She paused and looked back, clearly just remembering something. "Oh, Nessie, I called your grandfather. He's on his way from the hospital to check on you."

She looked at him and rolled her eyes after the nurse disappeared down the hallway. "Why'd she do that? It's just my ankle. It's not like I'm dying. Sometimes I hate being from a town where everyone knows me and my family. Nothing stays secret," she complained. She made her way into the exam room. Jacob stood at the doorway.

"I guess if he's coming then you won't need my assistance anymore," Jacob said, really wishing he had a reason to stay.

"I don't know how to thank you enough. I'm glad I met you...Um, will I see you again?" she asked with a hopeful gleam in her eye.

He couldn't figure out how to tell her he wasn't able to see her. He couldn't convey Sam's warning to her. How could he say he would probably get fired if he saw her again? Not to mention that seeing her again would only make him want to see her more and more. All he could say to her was, "We'll see."

Jacob hated the look of disappointment her face held after he spoke those words. He told her goodbye and shut the door. He could kick himself for being so insensitive. She obviously wanted to see him again, and he'd told her maybe. He couldn't believe he didn't jump at the chance to see the only girl he'd ever been so consumed by.

He started to open the front doors of the clinic but stopped abruptly. Jacob's mind couldn't let go of her. He slammed his fists on the glass of the door, and it shook from the force of his frustration. _Fuck it,_ he told himself. He turned his head to make sure the nurse wasn't around. She had her back turned and was on the phone again. He made a 180-degree turn and headed straight for her room once again. He didn't knock when he got there—he just barged in.

Jacob looked at the surprised, beautiful face of Nessie. Being driven by a force that he couldn't control, he closed the gap that separated them from one another. He couldn't keep from touching her anymore.

Jacob made his way to her on the table and took her head in his hands. She opened her legs just enough to let him stand between them. He didn't see any hesitation in her eyes, so he bent his head down close to hers. Her head lifted to his, and he could smell her sweet breath. He placed his hand on her waist and gently rubbed her there which caused a small whimper to escape from Nessie's mouth. Jacob waited for her to close the distance between their mouths. He needed her to want him just as badly as he wanted her. She lifted a hand up to his cheek and finally brought her lips to his. When she kissed him, it gave him permission to kiss her back, and he did so with a desire he had never felt before. It went way beyond lust.

She sighed when his hands moved to each side of her face, making her feel his passion. He parted her lips with his tongue and couldn't imagine anything tasting better than her mouth. He ran his hands down her face, neck, and shoulders, not relenting in his kisses. Touching her became his focus. He could feel his pants becoming a little tighter after she took her hands and ran them down his back, sending chills throughout his body. The way she moved her lips made thought of anything but Nessie leave his head. All he wanted was her.

Finally, she pulled away. "My grandfather will be here soon." She kissed him softly on the lips. "So, will I see you again?" she asked one last time.

"You can count on it," he answered. This time there was no hesitation or overthinking.

He nipped at her upper lip and then gave her one last deep kiss, wanting to make sure she'd remember him. Afterward, he forced himself to leave the exam room. He shut the door and tried to adjust his pants before going out in public. Hopefully he would calm himself down before he left the building. Nothing was worse than walking around with a raging hard on that was difficult to hide.

As he made his way to the door, he noticed an older, gray-haired doctor making his way into the building.

"Dr. Cullen, your granddaughter is in exam room one. She hurt her ankle," the nurse said upon his arrival.

"Thanks, Jackie." And Dr. Cullen made his way to Nessie's room.

 _She's a Cullen,_ Jacob thought, surprised. Not only was Jacob disregarding Sam's warning about getting involved with the students, but he had to go find the one girl who belonged to the most influential and wealthy family in town.

The first thought he had after he left the infirmary was, _What am I thinking? She's going to get me in so much trouble._ But his next thought sealed his fate. _And I don't give a damn._


	3. 2 Over and Over Again

"...It's all in my head.

I think about it over and over again,

And I can't keep picturing you with him.

And it hurts so bad..."

~Nelly featuring Tim McGraw "Over and Over"

Cullen, Renesmee...555-7172

Over and over again, he looked at the number in the university directory he'd found in Sam's office. He made sure no one saw him sneak back there to find the number. He ripped out the page, waded it up, and stuck it in his jean's pocket.

He'd dialed the number more than two dozen times but never pressed the 'send' button to complete the call. He stared at the writing on the crumbled piece of paper, trying to get up enough nerve to call her, and her name grew unfocused on the page.

It had been three days since the kiss, the one that epitomized everything he'd ever known about love – or what could grow into love. He couldn't fathom how he'd reached this point. He'd never been intimidated by a girl, and this girl certainly scared him. He knew she had him around her finger, and his fate rested in what she decided to do with him.

The well-built, russet-skinned man had no trouble asking a girl out; it was natural to him – that is, until Nessie came into the picture. He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes, remembering her fingers trailing down his back during that kiss. He could still feel the soft pressure of those fingers. Unconsciously, he licked his lips when he remembered the taste of her mouth. It was like nothing he could describe, and it was better than anything he'd ever tasted before.

"Five, five, five, seven, one, seven, two," he said to himself as he dialed his cell phone. Hidden behind the maintenance building, he made the phone call. He didn't want Quil to overhear the conversation, and he certainly didn't need Sam to know that the only girl he'd ever obsessed about attended this school.

"Come on, Ness, answer," he said. He liked the name 'Ness' though he didn't know why. He could claim that as _his_ name for her. He liked the sound of her being only his. Only his to hold, touch...maybe even love.

"Hi, this is Nessie. Leave a message," answered her voice mailbox. Jacob heard loud music and various feminine squeals in the background.

"Um, Ness, I mean, Nessie, hi. This is Jacob Black... from the other day. I helped you to the infirmary. Anyway, call me. My number is 555-0987," he said, leaving what he thought was an awkward message. He tried not to worry too much about it because all he really wanted was to see her again.

~o~O~o~

Nessie was late again; she hated hobbling around on her crutches. Always on the go, she never thought about slowing down. She always stayed busy, and she liked keeping her life that way. It kept her mind off the things she had to do – the things she was expected to do. However, since her injury, she had extra time on her hands, which meant she had time to think about a lot of things, including Jacob. He always managed to creep into her subconscious, and she was angry at him for making her think of him too much.

Nessie shook her head, as if doing so would make the memory of him leave her brain. She thought that she was crazy for having asked to see him again. Yes, she felt an attraction to him unlike any she had experienced before; she still had dreams about kissing him. Yes, he took such tender care of her, in a way that her boyfriend had never come close to matching. (Tyler was anything but tender.) And, yes, Jacob was the handsomest guy she had ever seen. She blushed at the thought of him without his shirt on. Even Tyler, who worked out everyday, didn't have a body like Jacob's.

"Damnit!" Nessie cried as her crutch found loose gravel on the parking lot she was crossing. Luckily, she corrected herself before she crashed into the hard ground. "Leave it to me to hurt myself _again_ just trying to walk," she said, scolding herself.

Nessie never appreciated her healthy body until it was injured. Aside from the occasional shin splints and sore muscles, she had always been healthy. She couldn't remember a time when she'd been kept from doing the one thing in life she truly loved – running. It was her only release – the only thing she did that was all _hers_ … and she just happened to be damn good at it too. No one in her family controlled it. They could force her into med school and into joining a sorority, but they didn't have to force her to run.

This morning, Nessie had to walk clear across campus just to make it to the stadium for treatment on her ankle at the athletic training room. She had to finish it before her 9:30 organic chemistry class. She hoped to hurry the process and talk her trainer into allowing her to spend less time submerging her ankle in the torturous tub of ice water. She wondered if the trek across campus was even worth it, but she quickly dismissed the thought because she knew it would help her heal faster so she could get back to running.

But thoughts of her training session were interrupted by the one thing she wished her mind would let her forget.

She saw Jacob and his friend, Quil, unloading equipment from the Gator that had carried her to the infirmary that day. She had no idea what they were doing at the stadium, but she didn't question their activities because they were, after all, the maintenance guys.

Nessie didn't realize she had stopped short of the entrance to the stadium to stare at him. She lost all train of thought and didn't get it back before he looked up and saw her. He waved to her, and she panicked. She clumsily made her way into the stadium without acknowledging his greeting.

She hated herself for ignoring him.

~o~O~o~

Jacob had made several attempts to talk to Nessie, but he kept getting the cold shoulder. He realized that it had been over a week since she had so blatantly ignored him while he was working at the stadium that morning. Even though she was the one who asked to see him again, he had not heard from her. Jacob tried not to be angry – his pride wouldn't let him – but deep down, it hurt him.

"Man, I'm so glad it's the weekend. I have _got_ to find me somebody tonight, Jake, or I'm gonna _pop!_ " Quil complained as the two rode the Gator to the library. They were spending the day weed-eating around the flower beds and mowing the commons area.

The sun shone brightly that day, and the boys from the reservation hated the stiffness of their starched uniforms. They hated to be confined to anything, especially resenting such an unnecessary item as a shirt. But Sam had his rules; they had to wear their work shirts whenever they were out on campus duty.

They were used to hot days like this back home – they'd been known to play a rough game of tackle football wearing nothing but their shorts. That's how life was on the reservation. Life there was simple – nothing fancy about it. Their idea of a party was a keg on the beach, a bonfire, and loud music. None of them had much in the way of worldly goods, but they had one another. Jacob, Quil, and their friends at home, Jared, Embry, Paul, and Seth – each would take a bullet for another. That's the way it had been their whole lives.

Jacob laughed at his friend's one-track mind and how Quil only thought about getting laid. Quil never had a problem finding someone to fill his needs; his tall frame and long muscles accentuated a face that any girl would want. His short, brown hair and brown eyes also appealed to the opposite sex. In fact, most of the boys from the rez were the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome.

"Brass Monkey tonight?" Jacob asked.

The local bar was a staple every Friday for all of them. Tucked away on the seedier side of town, the bar was, for the most part, frequented by working class people. The strip, which ran a couple of blocks from school, hosted the college crowd most weekends. The railroad tracks that split the town were like the Mason-Dixon line of Forks. The west side of the tracks were held down by the blue-collar workers who had lived here their whole lives in the modest, framed houses beaten down by the constant rain. On the east, there was the college, where the privileged students from rich families lived and studied before moving on every four to five years. Also east of the tracks were many nicer clubs, restaurants, hotels, and Jacob's recent discovery, the sprawling Cullen estate.

"Of course! It's always the Brass Monkey! I'm ready to get shit-faced. Maybe we can both find a hottie tonight. We can find you someone to get your mind off the chick you won't talk about. You haven't said anything about her, but I know you, Jake. I know she's got you sprung," Quil teased. Jacob knew Quil was right. But he kept his mouth shut because he knew better than to talk girls with his friend. This girl mattered to him, and he wouldn't let Quil cheapen it with his immaturity.

"Dude, don't look now, but I think that's your girl leaving the Admin building." Quil pointed toward the girl. Jacob immediately straightened and turned to look where Quil was pointing. His eyes scanned the crowd for her. Even though she had ignored his attempts to talk to her, he still couldn't help himself.

He finally spotted her as she moved slowly in his direction, and he felt his lungs begin to take shorter breaths that he couldn't control. He swallowed the lump in his throat because his mouth had suddenly become parched. Then he caught sight of her face. She looked displeased. She draped her messenger bag across her body, and it fell between her breasts, pulling her baggy shirt tight around them. She seemed to be cursing the crutches she had to use. Her injured ankle was wrapped in an ace bandage, and she sported a bulky, medical shoe.

Watching her move as if she were in slow motion, Jacob couldn't take his eyes off her. Here was the girl he wanted, and he was helpless without her, unsure if she felt anything for him. Nessie finally noticed Jacob and looked twice, as if to make sure it were really him. She stopped her uneasy swagger for just a moment, perhaps considering heading his way.

But before Jacob could begin to make his way to her, a tall, blond man approached her from behind, making her stumble with his aggressive hug. He looked familiar, but from this angle, Jacob couldn't figure out who the guy was. She didn't look as thrilled to see him as he did her. He hugged her from behind and lightly kissed her neck. _That hurts_ , Jacob though as he described the basic effect her kissing another guy had on him. She wasn't even _his_ , and he was jealous. He was so jealous, in fact, that he considered dismembering his competition.

Nessie looked one more time at Jacob with apologetic eyes, but Jacob got the message. _She's taken_. He started the weed-eater immediately with a swift pull of the cord, turned his back on the couple, and began his work. He was screaming inside, berating himself. _How could I have been so stupid? How would she even be interested in me?_

Quil walked to him and placed his hand on Jacob's shoulder. Jacob shut off his machine. "Sorry, man," said Quil. "She's got a boyfriend, dude, and it's not just any guy. It's Tyler Crowley."

Jacob couldn't care less who the boyfriend was; all he wanted was for his friend to shut up. "Quil, I'm gonna drink you under the table tonight. I feel like getting shit-faced too."

"You know I can drink you under the table, Black! It's on!" Quil yelled. "I still think we should find you some other hottie tonight. There's a lot of girls out there who wouldn't say no to you, Jake." Jacob had no reply to his friend's reassurances and, instead, resumed his mindless duties.

Jacob needed to forget about Nessie tonight and drinking was the only thing that sounded like it would remotely help. For the rest of the day, Jacob focused on his work and looked forward to drowning his sorrows at the Brass Monkey with all his buddies. He already knew that he wouldn't take Quil's advice and find another girl tonight. He'd had enough of women for a while, and he wasn't sure when he'd feel up to trying again.

~o~O~o~

"Could you not play that song again, Jared? You play that one over and over every week," Paul yelled from behind the bar. He tended the bar at the Brass Monkey and had to deal with the craziness of his friends most weekends. He enjoyed it though; he got them drunk and then laughed at their drunken antics. "Dude, I'm getting sick of that song, and it's a classic."

Jared selected AC/DC's _You Shook Me All Night Long_ on the jukebox _again._ It blared throughout the bar, and the guys had to scream at one another in order to be heard.

"I think he's just hoping that he can find someone who would want to shake him all night long," crowed Seth, and all the guys laughed. Jared shot him the finger from across the bar.

Paul served Jacob another beer where he sat alone at a back table. He worried about his friend, who was obviously trying to drown something in the alcohol. Paul approached Quil, hoping he'd know what had made their happy-go-lucky friend so upset.

"What's wrong with Jake? I haven't seen him this upset since he couldn't take that scholarship," Paul asked.

A tremendous athlete, Jacob had been recruited to play football at a university a few hours away from Forks. It would have been a full ride, and he would have been playing the game he loved so much. In fact, many universities wanted him, but life had other plans for Jacob. His father had a boating accident while fishing, and Jacob became the sole caretaker and breadwinner of their family. Jacob never mentioned the scholarship to his father, Billy. He'd made all the guys swear they would never say anything to his dad either, and they had all kept their word, like always.

"Dude, it's worse than that. He fell hard for a chick with a boyfriend. He's that Tyler Crowley's girl, no less. Jake can't compete with that guy," Quil said. Tyler Crowley just happened to be the All-American quarterback for the University of Forks. His excellence on the team had given the university the kind of notoriety it had never seen before. He was quite good, and the guys had even watched a few of the games this year because of it. They all knew that the quarterback sitting next to them in the stands was better than the one on the field, but none of them brought it up.

"Quil, I'm sure Jake could make that Crowley punk look like a peewee football player. Don't you remember how he played, dude? Jake can hold his own. It's Tyler Crowley who couldn't compete with Jake, man," Paul finished, rather worked up.

"Look, I remember how Jake played,and I remember how good he used to be. I'm just saying that Nessie isn't going to give him the time of day as long as she's got Crowley," Quil argued. Tyler had Nessie, and Quil knew that it was a hard pill for Jacob to swallow.

"Are you saying guys like us can't get girls like her?" Paul snapped, defensive of not only Jacob, but all of them. "You better get out of my face now if you want me to even think about serving you another beer." And with that threat from Paul, Quil staggered over to the increasingly competitive dart game brewing between Seth and Embry.

The night wore on, and the guys settled around the back corner table, working on the picture of beer that Paul kept refilling for them. Jacob had stayed quiet, thinking to himself. It had been an hour or so since his last drink, and he wondered if ought to drink more or sober up, so he could drive home. He didn't have much time to deliberate because his answer came to him as soon as the door swung open.

Obviously, they weren't Brass Monkey regulars. Most of them weren't from Forks, and everyone in the bar turned to stare. A small group of college students, who were drunk, brazenly walked into the bar as if it were their regular hang out. The crowd in the bar grew quiet, and most of the new group of students laughed at the reaction they received.

The one who didn't laugh was the last girl Jacob wanted to see. Nessie had come in with the obnoxious group of people, which included her boyfriend. He seemed to be the leader of them, too. He was three sheets to the wind and acting like an idiot. Nessie, who didn't have her crutches with her tonight, scanned the room with a worried look. Jacob saw her first and watched her look around nervously. He could tell she was uncomfortable being in a place like this, and her jerk of a boyfriend wasn't helping matters either.

"What the hell are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen well-dressed people before?" Tyler glanced around, yelling at everyone in his beer haze. "I guess not," he laughed, amused by his own joke. The small group of friends, about five in total, staggered over to the bar, taking up all but one of the bar stools, and kept Paul busy with new drink orders. Jacob recognized the only other girl in group as Jessica. She started doing tequila shots with one of the guys, and they all started getting loud.

Nessie clutched her purse and tried to make herself comfortable as she stood next to her friends at the bar, but it wasn't working. She knew her friends were acting like fools, and her eyes darted around the room again to see who was watching the spectacle they were making. That's when she saw Jacob in the back corner with a group of guys. She stared briefly at the man with the deep, brown eyes who invaded her thoughts daily, no matter how badly she needed him to go away. Thus far, the thought of him had done everything _but_ go away.

"Hey, babe. Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap?" Tyler yelled at Nessie. She could rather have died than done such a thing, and she told him so. His girlfriend's refusal only made Tyler louder.

"Come on, Nessie. I bet Jessica would come and sit with me if I asked her." Nessie knew that to be true. Jessica would do anything to win attention from the opposite sex, and she'd wanted Tyler as long as Nessie had known her.

"Tyler, sometimes you're an insensitive jerk. I need to go to the restroom; excuse me," she said as she limped back to the ladies room. She had no idea what to do or how to act when Jacob happened to be in the same room with her. Locking the door behind her, Nessie stood still and tried to breathe. She stared in the mirror and averted her eyes to the floor; she couldn't stand to look at herself. She'd intentionally ignored the person who'd helped her when she'd injured her ankle. She'd even sent his call to voice mail when she saw the caller ID, though she saved the message and replayed it to herself multiple times a day.

She wanted to see him, but she knew that wasn't the way things could be. Her family would never understand why she would think about dating a maintenance guy from the local reservation when she had _Tyler_ , who had the brightest of futures. Her father reminded her of the list of Tyler's 'pros' all the time, and he never mentioned the 'cons.' Her father, Edward, liked Tyler and the perceived opportunity a relationship with him offered his daughter. Their betrothal had been planned since the two of them were younger, as the Crowleys and the Cullens were good friends.

Edward envisioned Nessie and Tyler's future together, living the good life. She would be a doctor, just like her father and his father before him. Tyler had a future in law to fall back on, though his football career would help him for the rest of his life. If she traded that in for Jacob, she would never have the support of her parents. She didn't know how to handle their disapproval.

Getting more agitated by the minute watching Tyler, Jacob decided he should leave. He watched Jessica and Tyler flirt, which caused his blood to boil. If Nessie were his, he wouldn't even look at another women; Tyler didn't seem to appreciate what he had.

Jacob figured that leaving while she was in the restroom would be a wise decision. His buddies remained quiet, well aware of why Jacob was on edge. They all knew who Nessie was now, and they all secretly wanted a reason to kick Tyler's pretty ass.

"Guys, I'm gone. I need to bail," was all he said. He threw some money down on the table to cover his share of the beer and headed out the door.

Jacob didn't see that Nessie had emerged from the bathroom, just as she didn't see him heading out the door. He also didn't see her return to the bar to find Jessica sitting on Tyler's lap. She wondered why she hadn't assumed that Jessica would take Tyler up on his offer in her absence. That girl had been attempting to pounce on Tyler every chance she could. Jessica was obviously grinding her ass onto Tyler's crotch, and Tyler was encouraging her with his hands on her hips – all while Nessie looked on.

"Really, guys? You can help each other home tonight. I'm leaving," Nessie yelled.

"At least I know Jessica's going to put out. She's not a stuck-up cocktease like you," Tyler shouted back. Nessie clutched her purse tightly, feeling the sting of his words. Embarrassed, well aware that everyone in the bar had heard, she limped out the door as tears welled up in her eyes. Jacob didn't hear the heartless words her poor excuse for a boyfriend threw at her before she left. He wasn't there to witness her humiliation, but her friends were. It took every restraint that the explosive Paul had to refrain from shoving a beer bottle up Tyler's ass.

The truth of the matter was that Nessie had never felt a passion for Tyler; the arranged relationship had been forced upon her by her family. She thought of him more like a brother than a lover, and she couldn't even imagine having sex with him. She had liked him at first, thinking that he was what she wanted in a boyfriend. But as time went on, she realized she didn't like him and could never love him. The longer she stayed with him, the harder it became to break up with him. The thought of her family's disappointment kept her trapped in a loveless and somewhat emotional-abusive relationship.

As soon as she felt the night air, her focus was to get go home and curl up with a bucket of ice cream and watch an old movie. She thought Jacob was still in the bar laughing at her humiliation, and she was far too embarrassed to approach him now. He couldn't possibly still care for anyway, considering how horribly she'd acted toward him for the past week or so.

She slowly hobbled down the sidewalk towards the parking lot. _I can take my own car, thank you very much. His drunk ass can find its own way home with that whore_ , she thought. She was tired of Tyler's foolishness and wondered how she could break it off without disappointing her parents. She spotted her car in the lot and relief came to her, knowing she'd be home soon. But fate had other plans, and the last thing she was expecting tonight was to run into Jacob.

And there he was.


	4. Use Somebody

You know that I could use somebody...Someone like you"

~Kings of Leon

She turned the corner and saw him straddling his motorcycle, about to take off. Surprised, she didn't know what to do, so she hurriedly opened her purse and wiped away the wetness from her cheeks. He looked up and saw the vulnerable Nessie fumbling for her keys. It looked like she had been crying. He could only assume that the jerk Tyler had something to do with it, and he really wanted to know how anyone could be so cruel to her. She found her keys but didn't go to her car. Nessie couldn't keep ignoring him any longer. She let down her guard and let her eyes find his. She realized then why she couldn't stop thinking about him-he was irresistible.

Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, she gingerly walked across the lot to him but stopped a few paces away from him because she needed to keep her distance. Watching her move to him made him forget that he was leaving, and he watched every awkward step she took towards him. She looked beautiful in the glow of the street light that dimly lit the area, and she looked perfect in the simple blue dress that she wore. It clung to her in the right places and fell to her mid thigh. He wantonly ran his eyes up and down her legs. She felt timid, noticing the way he looked at her, but she didn't mind.

He began to get off his motorcycle, but she interjected before he could. "Just stay on your bike, okay" she whispered.

"Why," Jacob asked, thinking it a strange request. His interest was piqued.

"Because I don't trust myself with you," she breathed, barely making her voice audible. It was true; the way she felt about him could cause her to abandon any self-control she had around him and do things with him she only dreamed about. Her desire for him was all she could think about.

"I don't understand what you're saying," he responded petulantly. His instinct to be a jerk had kicked in.

"I don't understand it myself." She tried to break his gaze, but she couldn't.

"I didn't think you wanted to be near me. You've been avoiding me. What the hell? "

"I don't know. I have lots of reasons that are hard to explain," she said. Feeble though it was, it was the only answer she could provide to explain why she'd ripped his heart out and stomped on it.

"Oh, well, if that's your stellar answer then I totally understand," he scoffed. He gripped the handles of his motorcycle, trying to release a little of his frustration. "After that kiss, I thought you wanted to see me again. I guessed wrong. I won't bother you any more." Jacob's tone was clearly meant to hurt. He had spent many days trying to see her but began to think that the attraction was one-sided.

"You make me so mad, dammit!" she told him angrily, but she was angrier at herself. She couldn't explain things to him without sounding like a horrible person.

"Join the club," he said. "I see you didn't mean what you said the other day. I'm sorry for misinterpreting your words... I need to go." He lifted himself off the motorcycle in preparation of starting it.

"Wait!" she yelled before the engine roared, and he reluctantly stopped to listen to her."Do you want to know why I've been acting the way I have?"

"It would help explain a few things, so yeah." Against his better judgement, he would listen to her. He made his voice sound cold and despondent, but he knew he really needed answers.

"You know, I've had the same boyfriend for two years. I have a family that controls everything I do and obligations that I try to live up to every day. I've had no problem with any of these things up until now. I knew what was expected of me and how to please everyone." Her voice rose shakily at him.

"And this has what to do with me?" Jacob asked. He had no idea where this conversation was going, but he was sure as hell sticking around to find out.

"It has everything to do with you! Don't you see?" she said raising her voice at him. "Because...because you've come into my life...…and now everything that I thought I knew and everything that I thought I wanted has been totally erased by just one kiss. One kiss from you, and I'm a mess. I can't have any distractions right now, and here I am, needing a distraction. I didn't know how badly I needed one, and I'm so wanting you to be my distraction. There's so much pressure on me and obligations that you couldn't understand." She ran her fingers through her hair, watching his eyes flare with either anger or lust. She had to blink away her tears.

Jacob was torn between bending her over his motorcycle and having his way with her and being angry as hell at her. _How dare she think she's the only one here with problems_ , he thought to himself. Then his frustration got the best of him.

"YOU have obligations? How dare you sit there and tell me that you want me one moment and then in the next breath you say that you can't have me because of obligations. Are you that self-centered? Have you ever thought once about my side of things? And I don't want to be just a distraction. I'm not just some poor guy you can have a fling with and then discard. That won't fly with me."

She stood silent, taken aback by his outburst. She totally deserved it. It had never crossed her mind that the feelings between them would be difficult for him as well. Maybe she had been a little self-centered in the whole thing?

"Do you think I haven't considered whether you and I could actually work? I have a disabled father at home to take care of. This job at your school pays the only money we have, which isn't a lot, by the way. I risked my job kissing you the other day. And by trying to see you again, I could throw away all that I've worked for...I can risk all I've built. It's not much, but it's mine. So don't go giving me shit about obligations. Rich and poor, we've all got them." His chest rose and fell heavily after his outburst.

Infuriated, he moved again to start his bike, but he caught a glimpse of Nessie from the corner of his eye. She crossed her arms across her breasts and shivered in the cool, nighttime air. Again she looked like she was going to cry, and his anger immediately softened toward her-against his better judgment. He knew he would give in to her no matter how mad she made him.

She locked eyes with the rugged, gorgeous guy in front of her."Where are you going" she questioned, her voice cracking in the process. She would understand if he didn't want to speak to her ever again.

"I was going home, but I'm not so sure now," he answered. This girl messed with his brain in the worst way. He didn't know north from south, who was president, or what he ate for breakfast.

Her soft voice was so soft that it barely reached his ears.

"Take me with you, please." She sounded pitiful and looked beautiful all at the same time, like a wounded puppy, and he knew he couldn't say no to her now.

She took a few wobbly steps towards Jacob, and he dismounted from his bike to help her. He grabbed her hand and lifted her on the back of his motorcycle. She moved very lady-like so as not to reveal too much under her short dress as she straddled his bike. Jacob watched her fidgeting, trying to be modest, and smiled to himself. He had to be very careful with her.

"I'm sorry. I can get so caught up in my own drama sometimes that I don't see things that are right in front of me," she said apologetically."You have no idea how much I wanted to see you. Don't think I didn't want to. I just don't know how to navigate these feelings for you."

"I'm sorry, too. I can be an asshole sometimes. You might want to know that ahead of time." He handed her his helmet, placed it gently on her head, and adjusted the strap to fit her face. As he did, he gently brushed her jawline. "I'm glad you're with me now, and we'll figure out this thing we've got going on here together."

He peered down at her, and his lips lifted in a smile that she would remember forever. As long as Jacob smiled at her, she could handle any drama this relationship might cause.

~o~O~o~

"Where are we?" she asked as he helped her off his bike.

"First Beach. This is where I spend most of my free time with my buddies," he answered, taking a big breath of the fresh ocean air.

Jacob took her hand and walked slowly, mindful of her injured ankle.

"How's your ankle healing?" he asked, thankful that the night wasn't too cold on the beach.

"Really well. My trainer thinks I can start running in a few days. I'll only miss one more meet," she answered. "I should come out here and run. Running on the sand is good resistance training."

"I'd love for you to come out here. I could run with you." Jacob couldn't get the thought of her running out of his head. Baywatch reruns popped into his dirty mind-she'd look good in a red, high cut swim suit. Focus he had to remind himself. It was hard to concentrate around her. "Not many girls come out to the beach with us. It's usually just us guys, playing football and killing one another."

"You're close with your friends, aren't you?" she asked.

"We're like brothers. We've been since birth pretty much. We all grew up with one another."

"I bet it's nice having real friends," she said sadly.

"You've got to have some real friends, Ness." His voice reflected his surprise to her saying she didn't have any friends. She realized that she liked the way he said her name. Ness and not Nessie.

"It's weird, really. I have plenty of so-called friends, but I can't think of one of them that I could say I'm really close to. Most of them are my sorority sisters, and the rest know that I'm a Cullen and like me because of it. I've learned that most people who befriend me only do it because of my last name and the money it has with it. How's that for sad? I'd give anything to have friends like yours." She gripped his hand harder, not wanting to let go of him or this moment.

"You just haven't found the right crowd yet. I could tell you had nothing in common with that Jessica and Lauren. If that's who you hang out with, no wonder why you're searching for something different." His words struck a chord with her. Her whole life, she had been raised in a world with privilege and opportunity, having everything she ever desired. The one thing she never had was someone who was real and honest with her . Her Uncle Jasper was good, but he was related to her, and was under obligation to her. Jacob had a genuineness about him that she was attracted to. He somehow managed to take care of her without babying her.

"Your friends looked pretty mad when I left tonight. I bet they hate me."

"No, they like you. They aren't too thrilled with your boyfriend, though. Where we come from, if somebody acts like that, he's gonna get his ass kicked – no matter how high and mighty he thinks he is. As far as we're concerned, no man is above another. Crowley has an ass-kicking coming soon if he keeps acting like a douchebag."

"I'd like to see that. Make sure I'm there, okay?" Nessie laughed, thinking that watching Tyler get put in his place would be fun to watch.

Jacob laughed with her and realized they had reached the edge of the water. He kept hold of her hand, and they both stared out at the horizon for a long time, listening to the waves lap onto the shore.

Nessie closed her eyes and let the breeze kiss her face. She felt a freedom here with Jacob that she'd never experienced before. Back home, there were so many rules to follow. Her father had mapped out her five-year life trajectory-he kept a chart in his office. She couldn't remember a time when her life's plan wasn't put on some spreadsheet by her father. Her mother, Bella, kept herself scarce and was never much of a support to her. Her mom's biggest concern was the gin that she kept hidden around the house.

"Here. Have a seat. I'm going to show you how we do it out here in La Push." Jacob moved Nessie away from the water and had her sit on a huge log that surrounded what looked to be a burn pile. He started gathering wood and piling it on top of the old kindling.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"You'll see." His eyes sparkled as he said those words, and he began moving effortlessly around the beach as she watched.

He'd made a fire while she relaxed, listening to the waves of the ocean crash onto the shore. She didn't know when she had ever been so content. Nessie enjoyed watching him work in the light bouncing from the flames. She had never seen anyone more beautiful and more at home. The way his tight shirt clung to his flexing muscles made her ache inside from the need to touch him. She was entranced as he moved around the fire, making sure the wood was perfectly placed. She could see his face through the flames, and she was mesmerized by him. He caught her staring and decided that the fire was good enough.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked, sitting beside her.

"I was waiting for you. You look so at ease around the fire," she commented, recalling how naturally he moved. With little effort, he created a huge fire for just the two of them. A fire, the waves, the multitude of stars, and Jacob. She couldn't remember a night as amazing as this one.

"My friends and I come here often, and we always have a fire. If you think this one is good, you should see the ones we make when we're really serious." Jacob leaned against a large rock and motioned for her to come closer.

"You can join me over here. I won't bite...hard." He gave her a wink and then the smile that she'd fallen in love with already.

Without hesitation, she scooted a few feet over in the sand and found herself lying against his chest with her head close to the crook of his neck. He wrapped his warm arm around her and made her feel safe. She knew that feeling protected could be a really dangerous thing. It would be too easy to let down the walls she'd worked so hard to build up around herself.

Jacob made sure he did everything slowly tonight. In the back of his mind, he was already making love to her on the beach by the fire. However, he knew he needed to take things one step at a time. It wasn't just because he thought she was too innocent-he didn't want to screw this up. Too fast, too soon could dissolve the best of intentions.

Neither one of them spoke for a long time. They held one another by the light of the flames and let their breathing sync in time with one another. Nessie traced her fingers over the design on Jacob's t-shirt and found his hand resting on his chest. She began touching his hand with her fingers, outlining it like it possessed a design, too. Nessie liked the way his warm skin felt-rough from hard work, but it was gentle underneath all the masculinity. She remembered how those hands felt when he carefully touched her; she hoped that soon he wouldn't be so careful. She was inexperienced but was ready to learn everything from him.

She took his hand, entwined her fingers with his, and brought their joined hands to her lips. She placed a soft, wet kiss on his forefinger. The arm that wrapped around her tightened, and her body moved closer to his. She noticed his breathing grow heavier after her kiss, and she liked the effect her touch had on him. Nessie continued on to the next finger, hearing the slightest moan, followed by a deep breath from him.

"I love your hands," she uttered to him in between kisses.

"I'm glad," he said, reveling in the tender moment she was giving him. He leaned his head down close to hers, and she lifted hers to him. He felt her breath on his chin and anticipated her sweet taste. Softly, she pushed her body up to meet his lips, and he responded ardently. His other arm completed his embrace and rested on the back of her head. He fisted the soft locks in his grip. As their lips moved together in perfect harmony, it felt almost as if they had been kissing one another all their lives. Not once did they bump noses or find their heads in an awkward position. They each instinctively found the others lips, teeth, and tongue where it should be. His gentle nips on her lower lip made her attack him more. She ran her fingers through his short, black hair and then ran them down his neck.

When the urge overwhelmed him, Jacob took Nessie by the hips and rolled her on top of him. He'd been unable to help himself, and he cussed himself internally for making such a move before being confident that she was ready. He hoped she wouldn't stop kissing him after his quick repositioning of her. He wasn't expecting anything more than he was already getting, but he didn't know if she understood that.

Nessie didn't object to straddling Jacob. In fact, she loved the way it felt. She stopped kissing him for a moment just to let out a gasp at the fantastic friction she felt. She had never gone this far with Tyler...willingly. She had no sexual feelings for him at all, but he had forced her into positions she didn't want to be in, but she didn't know how to use her voice and say no. She avoided contact at all costs because of it.

But Jacob was different. His body made her blush and want to do the sort of things with him that she'd promised herself she'd wait until she was truly in love to do.

"I'm sorry," he murmured when she broke the kiss immediately, thinking she thought he'd been too forward.

It didn't take long for him to realize he was wrong. She began a trail of kisses from his ear, down his jawline, across his neck. She licked his Adam's apple with her tongue and continued back to his ear.

She nipped his earlobe and whispered,"It's okay."

With that, he grabbed the back of her dress and clinched it in his hands, kissing her harder. She rocked her hips slowly, feeling his hardness pressed against warm center, and he lifted himself up to hold her closer to him. His dick throbbed underneath her, needed to claim her. With that thought, he knew that if this chemistry continued, his body would want more than he could ask her to give. He wanted all of her, but now wasn't the time.

"Ness, we have to stop." He withdrew from her kisses, but he nuzzled his head in the soft space between her shoulder and neck. He smelled her sweet perfume and wondered what he'd done so right that he'd earned this moment with her.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, confused by his abrupt ending of their make-out session.

"No, not at all… in fact, you're doing everything a little too well," he chuckled softly. He rubbed her arm with the back of his fingers, and he could feel the goosebumps forming underneath his touch.

"Oh," she pouted, but she knew he was doing the right thing. It wouldn't be long before the two of them found themselves in a very serious situation.

"It's really late, too. I should probably get you home," he groaned, not really wanting to follow through.

"Let's just stay for a few more minutes," she requested, and he didn't have to be asked twice.

He picked his head up off her shoulder and looked at her brown eyes. He soaked up her beauty. Her skin glowed, reflecting the warm glow of the fire. His eyes slid slowly down her face to her body, still sitting across his. Unable to keep his hands to himself, he gently placed one on the side of her neck and slowly began trailing it down the center of her body, between her collar bones, and then even lower, between her breasts. He needed to feel her body under his fingers and see how it reacted to his touch.

Through the material of her dress, he felt the softness of her unrestrained breasts-she had worn no bra. Holy shit, he thought at the revelation. He had a moment of weakness and slid his hand to cup her right breast but only for a brief moment. He heard her sigh at the contact. Jacob had been quite the gentleman so far, and he couldn't be judged for being tempted by her beauty. Nessie was, after all, sitting right on top of his aching dick. Reluctantly, he moved his hand away from her full breast and stopped at her toned stomach. His hand slowly moved outward, coming to a rest on her hip. He squeezed her there, pushing her one last time to his hardness.

Nessie had never felt anything like the exquisiteness of Jacob's gentle caress. She had never been so turned on and never even imagined the effect that the right guy could have on her. It took every bit of self-control she had not to attack him.

"Does he touch you like this" Jacob had to ask. The Crowley guy irked him even though he didn't know him. He'd even watched a few of his games, but now that he knew Tyler was Nessie's boyfriend, he didn't like the chump one bit.

"No." She didn't want to tell him about things done without her consent. She only wanted Jacob's touch now.

"Good. I have no right to be bothered by him, but I am. I don't like seeing you with him."

"I'm ending it. I don't care what my family says. He's only seeing me because of our parents. He has girls on the side all the time. I've known for a while. I saw it tonight, in fact," she confessed. She left out other parts of the relationship of which she was ashamed. It was best if Jacob didn't know.

"Asshole. I would never do that to you. Never."

"I know...I barely know you, but I feel more connected to you after one night than I've ever felt in two years spent with him."

Jacob cupped one hand under her chin, the other behind her head, and kissed her deeply. He would do whatever it took to be with Nessie. He was hooked.

~o~O~o~

Jacob and Nessie finally made their way back to Forks in the wee hours of the morning. He drove back to the parking lot and parked by her car.

The doubts he'd had about Nessie feeling the same attraction that he did had been squashed tonight. He knew she wanted him. Their mutual attraction had been well-established by kisses around a campfire. The fire that burned between the two of them had only just begun. The flames of their desire were high, and tonight proved just how much they wanted each other. They both understood that their fling was likely to crash and burn, but neither one cared at the moment.

"What do we do now?" she asked Jacob as he helped her off his bike.

"I'm not sure. How do we handle other people knowing about us?" he asked.

"I'm not sure either."

She knew that being with him would be difficult if her family and friends knew. He knew he would be fired and left without a way to take care of his dad. But more than anything, they knew they couldn't be apart anymore.

"Do we keep this between the two of us until we can figure out all the crazy details?" he suggested..

"I guess so. We can have our own secret love affair. It sounds kind of hot," she chuckled.

He smiled at that, in complete agreement."When can I see you again" Already he missed the feel of her body against his.

"As soon as possible. Call me, and we'll figure something out." She tried to stand on her tiptoes to reach up to kiss him but forgot about her tender ankle.

"Ouch. you made me forget I'm hurt," she spoke happily. He made her forget a lot of the sadness she had in her life.

"I can help," Jacob offered, picking her up and bringing her to his lips. He gave her one last passionate kiss and set her down. She felt a little wobbly and considered herself lucky when she managed to get the car door open and sit down. She shut the door and watched him stride back to his bike. Nessie started her engine and drove away, but not before catching one last smile that Jacob sent her way.


	5. Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

"1,2,3, take my hand and come with me

because you look so fine

and I really wanna make you mine.

I say you look so fine

that I really wanna make you mine."

 _Are You Gonna Be My Girl_ by Jet

~o~O~o~

"Oh, God!" Nessie's eyes fluttered open to the smell of something burning. She knew the house wasn't burning down, not yet at least. She ran down the stairs and into the kitchen as quickly as she could and saw exactly what she'd expected-her mother cooking.

"Ru-Ness-May, I made you breakfast," her mom, Bella, slurred. "I hope yer hungreyy." She slopped something that resembled a pancake on the griddle. The almost empty bottle of gin sat next to the eggs. The cigarette, dangling from Bella's mouth, had burned almost to the yellow band. The ash was moments away from falling into the food that she attempted to cook.

"Thanks, Mom." Nessie used the voice she reserved for intoxicated mother. She was a pro at talking to her mother in this state. IT was almost as if she were talking to a dementia patient. "I can't wait to try those pancakes. They look delicious." Nessie was clearly humoring her mother because whatever was in the batter Bella had made did not look even remotely appetizing.

Nessie stepped behind her mom and gently tugged at her arm. Bella reeked of alcohol, and her brown hair hadn't been washed in quite some time.

"Mom, why don't you go lie down? You must have gotten up really early to surprise me. I bet you're tired." Nessie finally finagled the cigarette from her mother's mouth and crushed it on a nearby ashtray.

Bella pulled her arm from Nessie's grasp. "Nonsense, sweetie. I'm havin' fun," she giggled as she plopped another blob on the griddle. She held a wooden spoon in one hand and resumed mixing the batter in the expensive, jadeite bowl that had been handed down from Grandmother Esme's mother.

Nessie turned off the burners while her mother was distracted and tried to flip over the "pancakes" that were not burnt yet. Bella slapped Nessie's hand with her spoon.

"Stop that. I'll do it." Nessie watched as her mother tried to take the spatula to turn the pancakes. Amoment later, Bella lost her balance, and her free hand landed right on a the hot burner. Bella didn't even flinch. Nessie couldn't believe how drunk her mom was already this morning. She felt she should be used tho this behavior from Bella by now, but how does one ever get used to having an inebriated mother 24/7?

"Mom. Seriously. I need you to go lie down. Now," Nessie demanded. Thankfully, Bella complied this time and began to show her drowsiness.

The daughter led her mother to the immaculate master suite and lay her down on the over-sizedbed. Luckily the bed hadn't been made, and her mother could slide right in. It had no less than twenty expensive pillows that coordinated with the comforter and other prints decorating the room.

Nessie pulled the robe tightly around her mom and covered her with the down comforter. She brushed the hair out of her mom's face and kissed her on the cheek. After Nessie retrieved one of the first-aid kits kept around the house for moments such as this one, she doctored Bella's burn. _Dad will have to look at_ _that when he gets off his shift at the hospital,_ she thought to herself. She hated to deal with her father, and letting him know about her mother's injury would be her least favorite thing to do. Dealing with her father was always her least favorite thing to do.

Nessie closed the door of her parent's bedroom with her mother passed out cold in the bed. It was Saturday morning, and not even eight o'clock yet. Most of her friends were sleeping in until noon or later after going out the night before. Nessie would give anything to have one day where she didn't have to deal with her mom's sickness, but she had no such luck. On her Saturday morning, Nessie was taking care of an erratic mother with a drinking problem that no on in the family wanted made public. It was never going to get better until her mom got real help. Nessie picked up the phone to dial the only person in her family she could trust.

"This better be good, String Bean," a groggy voice answered.

"Uncle Jasper, it's Mom again." Uncle Jasper would be easier to deal with than her father.

"Shit. I'll be there in a minute."

Nessie made her way back to the kitchen and began to clean up the mess that her mom had made, like she had done what felt like a million times before.

~o~

"Morning, Jake," Billy greeted his son from the breakfast table.

"Hey, Dad." Jacob found the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. He refilled his dad's cup too.

"You got in late last night. What are you doing up already?" Billy asked.

"I told Paul I'd help him work on his car. It's not running right, so I told him we could probably fix it today before it went out on him completely. You done with the sports section yet?"

Billy slid the newspaper across the table to Jacob who opened the front page.

"Were you with the boys last night?" Billy didn't look up from behind his paper. He just sipped his coffee, waiting for an answer. His dad was no dummy, and he was good at getting info from his only son.

"Yeah." Jacob took a sip, failing miserably at lying to his dad.

"Quil called late last night and woke me up. He wanted to know if you had made it home or left with some girl." Billy took another sip. "He didn't know her name."

"Dad, do we have to discuss this right now?" Jacob asked, looking over his paper and trying to act nonchalant.

"Nope. Just didn't know if you wanted to talk to your old man about things."

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks." A few moments of silence passed between them. He was horrible at keeping things from his dad. "Okay, okay. She's nice. She's smart...and beautiful. And I don't want to say too much and screw it up, okay?" Jacob replied quickly.

"I don't want to know unless you want to tell me. Will, uh, we be seeing her around?" Billy questioned.

"We aren't that serious, Dad. We just started seeing each other. We've got one minor problem, though." Jacob could trust his Dad to keep his secrets.

"Oh, what's that?" Billy set down his paper.

"Sam Uley can't find out, okay?"

"She's a student then?" Billy asked, raising one of his dark eyebrows.

"How did you know that?"

"Oh, I've known Sam a long time. He's always got his 'rules.' Looks like he's failing miserably in your case." A smile crossed Billy's face.

"Right. I kind of forget we live in a small place. Everybody knows everybody's business. If, and I mean if, I bring this girl over, you can't make a big deal out of it, okay?" Jacob begged his father.

"Sure, sure, son. Does this girl have a name?"

"Yea. Nessie Cullen."

Jacob used his newspaper to protect his face from the coffee his father unexpectedlyspit across the kitchen table.

"What the hell was that, Dad?" Jacob growled.

"Oh, nothing. I just got a little choked up. That's all," his father stuttered.

Jacob wanted to believe his dad, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more behind the incident than his father would have him believe. Jacob didn't ask, though. He just got the paper towels and started cleaning up the mess.

~o~

"She's upstairs sleeping it off. Dad will be home in a couple of hours, so you should be free to leave when he gets back," Nessie rambled to her Uncle Jasper. "She burned her hand pretty badly, but she can't go to the ER like this. You know Dad would flip if I brought Mom in drunk to get her hand looked at."

"Why haven't we sent her off to rehab yet? We could call it a spa trip or something like that, like all the celebs do," he suggested.

"Because the Cullens are proud people who don't have problems, Jasper. We're _practically perfect in every way_ ," Nessie spoke in her best Mary Poppin's voice. "If we show that we don't have it together, then we have a problem. And, you know, the Cullens don't have problems," Nessie said sarcastically.

"I know that. Being married to your aunt has taught me a thing or two about your family. But I would think your dad, of all people, would want Bella to get better. He dotes on her so much."

"He thinks he can love her enough and she'll magicallyquit drinking. To an extent, it works. When he's home, she's sober. She just binge drinks when he's gone, and he's gone a lot with work. I don't understand. I'm so tired of being the one to put her back together when she gets this way. Nessie's eyes began to fill with tears, but she held them in. She'd already cried more than enough over her mom's illness.

"I know. You're calling me more and more. I don't know if you really need me to help with Bella or if you just need someone sane to talk to." Jasper gave her a sympathetic smile. Nessie took her cup of coffee, brought it to her lips, and took a sip. The hot felt good on her lips.

"Both. It's like this family secret we can't talk about. I have no one but you, Jasper. I hope you don't mind getting phone calls from me all the time." She looked at her uncle who sat on the bar stool at the expansive kitchen island. Nessie stood across the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

"Not at all. You've always been my favorite niece, and I'll always be at your beck and call." He gave her a wink.

"I'm your only niece. You have to love me." Nessie batted her eyelashes at her uncle.

Jasper and Alice had been married for years, and they found out early on in their marriage that they couldn't have children. They were devastated by the news. Jasper had wanted to adopt, but Alice wanted her own children and not someone else's. After that, the couple treated Nessie more like their own child.

"What do you have to do today?" Jasper asked and drank his coffee.

"I have an organic chemistry study group in about thirty minutes. We have a huge test this week, and I'm just not getting it. Then I have a sorority meeting before the game tonight. I kind of have to go to the game, too," Nessie muttered. Forced sorority functions were not her favorite thing to do. If it also had to do with seeing Tyler, playing on the field, she really didn't want to go. She hated the pretending when it came to their relationship, and she hated the attention she got from it even more. Apparently, Tyler was a big catch.

"So, you're on the road to being a doctor, huh?" Jasper started the questioning Nessie had expected.

Out of everyone in her family, Jasper was the only one who cared about what Nessie truly wanted, rather than what everyone wanted for her. Her Aunt Rose had always been there for her, as well, but she lived in Seattle and didn't get to see her as much as Nessie would like.

"Yep. Third generation. Yay me," Nessie said as dryly as possible.

"So, when does Nessie finally get to tell her father, 'Fuck off! I want to be a teacher?''" Jasper asked.

"I'll tell my dad whenever you tell Aunt Alice that you want to quit your job to be a hunter full time. Are there people who actually pay someone to take them hunting with a guide?" Nessie questioned.

"As a matter of fact, there are plenty of people who'd pay good money for someone as good as I am to be their guide," Jasper defended.

"Okay, Okay. Sorry. But have you told Aunt Alice yet?" Nessie smirked.

"Well, no," Jasper sighed. "You had to bring that one up, didn't you? I'll tell her in time. You know Alice. She has her ideals on how I should do things and doesn't let up until things go her way. Me being a hunter isn't exactly what she signed up for when she married me. She likes me being a successful lawyer."

"Jasper, why do you think I'm going through freakin' rush right now? Not because I want to. I got the your-grandmother-was-a-Delta-Rose-and-I-were-Deltas-so-it's-imperative-that-our-next-daughter-in-line-become-a-Delta speech from her. There was no asking, only demanding. Until you and I each grow a pair, we're going to be stuck doing things we don't want to do."

Jasper smiled at his niece and glanced at the time. "You better get going. I'll take care of your mom until Edward gets home."

"Thanks, Jasper."

"No problem, String Bean." He called her the nickname he had coined for her when she was just a girl. He used to say that she was just a goofy, tall kid, made up of just knees and elbows. Time had passed, and Nessie had grown up. Her body was no longer the one that Jasper teased her about. She had filled out and, obviously, looked like a woman now. Her adult body drew more attention than Nessie noticed. She wasn't one to pick up on those kinds of things. Nessie threw on her yoga pants and a t-shirt, grabbed a jacket and her books, and headed to the library to meet her new friend Claire, whom she'd met in Organic Chemistry.

Before she started the engine to her car, she checked her phone. There were several missed calls from Tyler last night, as well as a few texts.

 _Why is your car still here and you're not? Where are you?_

 _Don't make me call your dad?_

 _Why are you acting like a spoiled brat? I was only joking around with Jessica._

"I'm behaving like a spoiled brat?" she asked herself, exasperated at the ridiculousness of the texts. She had to end their relationship, and she needed to do it soon. After last night, she couldn't see herself with anyone but Jacob. He had become her focus. He was a happy thought in her life of obligations and secrets. She wasn't afraid to break up with her jerk of a boyfriend-well, maybe she was afraid of his volatile temper just a little. What she was more afraid of than an abusive boyfriend was the reaction from her overbearing and controlling father. _Maybe I'll call Tyler tomorrow,_ she thought. She had such a busy day anyway.

The tingling feeling in her lower stomach grew as she thought of Jacob, and she wondered when she could see him again-the sooner the better.

~o~

"I think you've got a vacuum leak. Let's check the hoses," Jacob said, wiping the black oil from his hands. "We need to change your timing belt, too."

"This piece of shit will run a little longer thanks to you," Paul replied, thankful he had a friend like Jacob.

"You owe me free beer for life for helping you, you know."

"Yeah, I'm not worried about you letting me forget it either," Paul sneered.

They stood in the street in front of Paul's house in the cool morning air. Fall had arrived, and the weather was turning colder. It didn't seem to affect the boys on the rez, though. Jacob rotated his mechanic skills between his friends every few weeks or so. None of them had much money, so keeping their old, beat-up cars running was Jacob's job. He didn't mind. They always had his back and were there when he needed them; that was payment enough. Free beer and whiskey didn't hurt either.

After Jacob's mom died suddenly, his friends were the ones who kept him from falling off the deep end. He knew he could never repay them for helping him through his sorrow. It still hurt, but the pain had eased a bit over the years.

"So, Jake. What's up between you and that girl?" Paul asked while he watched Jacob work.

"What do you want to know about it?" Jacob lifted his head out from under the hood, wiping off the wrench he'd been using.

"I don't know. I know you left together last night. That usually means one thing...was she good?" Paul questioned.

Jacob stopped what he was doing and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Paul immediately knew he'd asked the wrong question and wished he could take it back.

"It's not like that. She more than just sex." Jacob was speaking through gritted teeth. "How do you people know we left together? Do you have spies or something?"

"No, we just have a Quil. He's sneaky. Bro, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you liked her so much."

"Me either," Jacob revealed.

"What about her boyfriend?"

"Paul, your guess is as good as mine. All I know is she's got me, and I'll do whatever it is she wants. I'm not used to this, so don't give me shit about it, okay?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't say anything to you. I made a fool out of myself for your sister, so you can hang that over my head for life," Paul admitted. Rachel and Paul had been seeing each other for a while now. Jacob had finally come to terms with his best friend dating his sister. Jacob could tell Paul really loved Rachel and treated her well. That made the awkwardness of the whole situation better. He also knew his mom would be pleased with Rachel's choice in boyfriends.

"I'm thinking we can have one of our parties next week, and she can come. The guys have to know this girl is not to be a topic of conversation around the rez. We need to threaten Quil within an inch of his life. I can't lose my job over this," Jacob explained.

"No problem. I'll get the word out. I'll have the guys bring their girls too, so she won't get faint-hearted by all our sexy manliness. We don't want her lusting over anyone but you," joked Paul.

Jacob pushed Paul playfully, making him stagger across the street. Paul tried to keep himself from falling.

Jacob was naturally strong, and he forgot his own strength sometimes.

"Dammit, Black. You got to give me warning when you do stuff like that," Paul yelled.

"I didn't know you were such a wimp. I'll go easy on you next time," Jacob called out to Paul. Paul lowered his shoulder and dropped the smile from his face. He began to run at full speed towards Jacob. Jacob braced for the impact and was ready to put Paul in his place for even thinking he could somehow take him.

Before Paul realized what had happened, Jacob had put Paul on his back in the middle of the street.

He landed with a thud. "Are you done trying to tackle me? We need to get your car fixed, so you need to get yourself under control." Jacob glared down at his friend.

"Fuck you," Paul laughed.

"You first. Get up and come help me with this belt, asshole."

Paul got up with his pride a little wounded, but he should have known better than to try to take on Jacob. Jacob never lost in a fight. He was a force to be reckoned with.

They worked on the car for the rest of the morning, and Nessie kept invading Jacob's thoughts. He knew he needed to see her again.

~o~

"Ugh! I just don't get it. I don't understand number ten. 'For the compounds and ions listed below, write Lewis/Kekulé structures for as many reasonable canonical forms as you can.' Claire, how is it that you can do this so easily?" Nessie wondered.

"I don't know, but maybe this will help." Claire began to draw some of the resonance structures, and Nessie just stared blankly at Claire's work. The paper looked more like an art project than chemistry to Nessie.

"I'm hopeless," Nessie replied, shutting her book and shoving her papers in her folder. "I can't think anymore. I have to take a break." Her phone vibrated in her pants' pocket.

"You almost have it, Nessie. Just give it a few more minutes," Claire tried to encourage her friend.

"You're the one who's gonna get into the best medical schools. I'm afraid I'm destined to study in the worst one in the world, wherever that may be. I doubt anyone will take me," Nessie joked as she checked her phone. Her smile quickly faded.

 _I can see you. You can't avoid me now._

Nessie's stomach clinched _. What in the world was Tyler doing in the library?_ she wondered. The Crowley name had a lot of privilege attached to it. Good grades for him were never earned, only given. The library was the last place he'd ever be. Until today.

She glanced around the third floor of the library, searching between the bookshelves for him. She started to feel sick. The thought of Tyler made her ill now. After last night, Nessie knew that kissing Jacob felt right. She also realized how a real man treated a woman. Tenderness went a long way. Hitting did not.

Besides Uncle Jasper, he was the only person in her life that made sense. He felt right on so many levels. On the other hand, Tyler felt all wrong and had felt wrong for some time now.

Knowing Tyler was watching her gave her an uneasy feeling. She kept looking for him but was unable to see where he was.

"Hey, Red," Tyler bellowed in the quiet library. His voice echoed off the shelves of books. She didn't like the way he tickled her underneath her arms when he scared her from behind.

"God, Tyler! You scared me," Nessie shrieked.

He tried to grab her hand, but she moved it before he could.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

"I'm not in the mood to talk to you yet," she whispered.

"You better be in the mood soon. I don't like getting the cold shoulder," he demanded, taking a step towards her.

"Get ready for a little disappointment," she hissed. She retreated away from his advance.

"I don't get you, woman. It must be the red hair. _Temper, temper_." He shook his head. He twirled a piece of her hair in his fingers he managed to grab. She swatted his hand out of the way.

"No, it's not the red hair. It's you being a jerk. Now if you would excuse me, I need to get to a meeting." Nessie grabbed her books and messenger bag and started to leave. Claire just stared at the troubled couple.

Tyler grabbed her arm around her bicep. "You don't walk away from me when I'm still talking to you," he said, trying to intimidate his girlfriend, like he'd done many times before. She'd never had the nerve to fight back...until now.

"I _can_ walk away from you because I'm done talking. Let go of me," she said, trying to keep the pain out of her voice. Nessie tried to get out of his grip, but he didn't relent-he was too strong. He towered over her, glaring down at her with his angry demeanor. Nessie's arm hurt from his stronghold that kept tightening the madder her became.

"I'll let go of you when I'm done talking to you. Now let's go somewhere and discuss how you overreacted to things last night. I also need to know where you disappeared to. I worried about you, baby." His rough voice faked a softness to it, and his face hovered an inch from hers.

"Look, asshole, I've got a twenty pound chemistry book that's going to smack you in the head after I spray your eyes with my mace if you don't get your hands off her."

Tyler looked shocked. A petite Claire threatened him. Nobody ever gave Tyler a hard time. She continued, "I'll scream so loud that everyone will know what a jerk you are. You better get the hell out of here before you get taken down by a five-foot nothing, one hundred and ten pound girl. Got it?"

Claire stood on her tiptoes with her key chain in hand. She wasn't kidding about the mace either. It was in a bright, lime green container. Her finger rested on the trigger.

Tyler let go of Nessie's arm, put his hands up in surrender, and backed away from the two girls.

"Okay. I'm letting go. When did you start hanging out with crazy chicks?" Tyler asked his girlfriend.

"Since now." Nessie put her throbbing arm around Claire.

"I'm looking for you after the game, Cullen." He pointed at her, turned, and left.

"Has he always been like that?" Claire asked.

Her silence answered Claire's question.

"I've never talked to him that way. He's just pissed," Nessie reasoned, giving excuses like she always did for his behavior. She could still feel where he grabbed her arm. He was unusually rough today in a public place. He had a temper, and he wasn't always the nicest to her, but it was always done in private. Nessie worried about the bruise that would form from his grasp.

"No, he's just the stereotypical abusive boyfriend. Try to not be alone with him, okay? I don't like him," Claire said sternly as she glared at Tyler's retreating figure. Nessie didn't like him either. She looked back over the past two years of her life with Tyler and realized she had been living a lie. She had been going through the motions, pretending to be in love. What a waste of her time on doing what she was supposed to do.

The two fast friends made their way down the stairs of the library without speaking. Both seemed to be deep in thought. Just before they exited the building, Nessie turned to Claire.

"Thanks. I am glad you were there to help me out."

"I was glad to do it. You deserve better."

"I know," Nessie whispered, and then Jacob came to mind.

~o~

The Delta meeting had run long. Luckily, she sat at the back and snuck in some texting with Jacob. It helped pass the time.

 _What are you doing?_

 _I'm sitting in a stupid sorority meeting. You?_ She hid her phone under the table to type.

 _Nothing. Sitting here with Quil and Embry watching football._

 _I've gotta go to the stupid game tonight._

 _Really?_

 _Yes, really._

 _Then I'll be there too._

A smile crossed Nessie's face. Her day just got a lot better.

 _Text me when you get there. I'll be looking for you._ Her fingers fumbled on the keys as her nerves began to tingle, signaling the excitement she was bound to have.

 _Same here._ _See you soon. Bye. J_

She squirmed a little in her seat. Even texting Jacob made her ache for him. If just a few texts could make her feel this way, how was she going to control herself when she was with him?

~o~

Jacob dragged Quil and Embry along with him to the game. The two of them didn't understand why he'd want to leave the Florida game on Charlie's big, flat-screen TV, but they didn't question their friend. Jacob had a chance to be with the girl he cared about, and they wanted him to be happy. Nessie seemed to make Jacob smile. After his mom's death and the football-scholarship fiasco, Jacob deserved some happiness in his life. He offered to pay their way into the game and buy them a few rounds at The Brass Monkey on Friday. How could they refuse such an offer?

He stood underneath the stands, and he had no intention of making his way to a seat.

"You two go ahead. I'll see you in a while," Jacob said, not even caring how long he would ditch his friends for a girl.

"Sure. You take your time, lover boy," Quil teased.

"At least one of us is getting some action," Embry exclaimed, elbowing Quil in jest. Jacob smiled at his buddies. "I'll see you later. I've got someone to talk to." He waved his phone at them. They got the picture and made their way to their seats.

 _Where are you?_ He texted to Nessie.

A reply came just a few seconds later.

 _Section 118. I'm the one in pink, in the middle of all the_ _pledges in pink. So fun!_ He looked around to see which section he was closest to.

 _Meet me at section 120. By the concession_ _stand._

 _Ok. Be there in a minute._

He stood by a door that lay hidden by the concession stand. He watched the crowd for her, and it didn't take long to spot her long, copper hair. His breathing hitched a bit, and he tried to get himself under control. He could already feel his body responding to thoughts of being close to her. His plan was to be alone with her but nothing more. He had to be a gentleman, and the more he said it, the less he believed it.

She spotted him above the crowd. She saw him duck down a short hallway, and she followed. She kind of liked this sneaking around, especially with him.

"Hey, where are we going?" she asked when she made her way to him.

"Nowhere special, but we can be alone together for a while. How does that sound?" He stared at her, forgetting what he was doing.

Nessie gave him her crooked smile. "That sounds nice." Being alone sounded great to her. "How are we getting in there?" She gestured to the locked door in front of them.

He snapped out of his daze and held out a key ring in his large hands. "You forget. I've got a master key to most places here. It's one of the few benefits this job has." A mischievous look crossed his face. She followed him, and he shut the door behind them.

Not even twenty-four hours had passed since they last saw each other, and it felt like an eternity apart. They were glad to be alone together again.


	6. Amen

Well, I've been searching, I've been praying  
I've been hurt, and I've been patient  
I've been lost and found again  
Waiting for my amen!  
Looking at you now I believe  
Someone up there's looking out for me  
And I know how my prayer ends  
Baby, you're my amen!

~ _Amen_ by Hunter Hayes

The door clicked behind the two secret lovers, and darkness surrounded them. They didn't touch-they simply stood motionless within an inch of one another. Nessie could feel Jacob's head bend slowly down toward hers, but he stilled before their lips met. She could smell his musky, masculine scent and practically taste the hot breath surging from his mouth. She could feel him even though his body didn't touch hers. The heat emanated between their bodies.

Jacob's hands twitched at his sides. He wanted to devour her with them, but he'd promised himself he would stay in control around Nessie. It was becoming difficult to refrain from acting on his instincts. Adrenaline coursed through his system, and everything in him screamed, 'Take her!' Yet he still managed to hold himself back. She wasn't like anyone he had ever been with. He wanted to be with her and _only_ her, so he knew that not attacking her and scaring her would be best.

"Hey," he whispered in his low, husky voice.

 _God, he is so sexy_ , she thought. His face slowly moved around hers, tormenting and taunting her with the distance between their mouths.

"Hey," she breathed back. Her hands left her side and gripped his shirt in the middle of his stomach. The night on the beach with Jacob flashed in her mind and wanting to feel that way again came rushing through her body.

"How are you?" Jacob asked as he continued to moved his head around hers, breathing in her scent. It was as if he were marking his territory before he kissed her. He moved from her ear, down her jaw-line to settle in the crook of her neck. He felt her shiver. Lingering near her neck, he closed his eyes. She smelled so good. He didn't know when he'd ever smelled anything better. He licked his lips and moved back up to the hair by her temple. He placed a chaste kiss on a loose curl. Her head moved gently into his lips.

"Much better now that I'm with you." Her hands hurt from her fierce grip on his shirt. It was the only thing keeping her from losing her balance. Jacob took away her sense of gravity, her sense of being. It felt good to let herself go with him. His touch erased all thoughts of the troubles in her life.

"May I kiss you, Ness?" He wanted permission from her.

"You never have to ask that question. I always want you to kiss me." Though the answer came to her easily, she found it hard to get the words out of her mouth. Jacob affected her body in such a way that even words failed her.

He took his arms and wrapped her securely in them, pulling her towards his body and up to his mouth. Her hands flattened against his chiseled chest as he drew her in. She couldn't see him in the darkness, but her mouth found his nonetheless. His lips brushed hers softly at first, and then the intensity increased with each touch. Jacob knew he never wanted this feeling to end. The way she felt in his arms and the way she kissed him brought out Jacob's protective nature. He would do anything to take care of her. The only thought in his head as he held her was _mine!_ He placed a hand behind her head to steady her, deepening the kiss. Any sadness in Jacob's life dissipated when her lips met his. She consumed him. The little nips from her full lips drove him wild.

Nessie slid her hands up to Jacob's neck and wrapped her arms around him. She pulled herself tightly to him as they caressed each other. She couldn't get close enough. Jacob's other arm rested on the small of her back. He found himself pulling her to himself, pressing her body tightly against his. Nessie moaned into his mouth, letting him know that she was enjoying it just as much as he was. His body and the way it reacted to her made her feel powerful. She loved knowing that her touch could arouse him.

Jacob left her mouth to kiss the nape of her neck, her sweet spot. She shivered again when the combination of his wet lips and hot breath met her skin. She tasted good, and he applied more pressure, wanting more of her.

"You look good in your baby doll shirt," he told her in between the kisses he continued placing on her neck.

"How do you know it's a baby doll shirt?" she chuckled, running her hands through his hair.

"Sisters. I know way more girl shit than I admit to most people." He moved his lips to her shoulder. His breath tickled her.

"Well, did they teach you what girls like?" Nessie took one of her hands and trailed it up and down his back, enjoying the feel of his strong body beneath his shirt.

"Yeah, I had some forced lessons as a teenager. They were determined that I wouldn't be the typical guy when it came to the opposite sex." His mouth returned to her neck, and she bent her head back, allowing her long hair to fall behind her and give him more room to play.

"Give me their numbers. I need to call and thank them," she joked, but her smile faded quickly. Jacob moved to her earlobe and gently nipped at it with his teeth. "Oh!" Her voice came out in a high-pitched sigh.

The two continued for what seemed like an eternity. In the darkened room, they kissed and kept their touches chaste, but the feelings they shared during these innocent acts made it seem like so much more.

The pair would have stayed in the locked room all night, sharing these moments together, but it wasn't long before Nessie's phone interrupted their little wonderland. She reluctantly pulled away from Jacob.

"I'm probably being missed by now. We have to sit together. Stupid sorority stuff," she complained. She glanced at her phone and saw she had missed a call from Lauren.

His hand found a place to rest on her hip. He massaged the area for a few seconds. It wasn't long before thoughts of cupping her rear popped into his head. How he wanted to touch her perfect ass, but he stopped himself and kept his hand still.

"I should get up there and watch a little bit of the game with dumb and dumber," he replied, referring to Quil and Embry.

"I won't be watching the game. I'll just be staring at you." Nessie knew he couldn't see her smile, but she hoped he could feel how happy he made her.

"You're too much, Ness. You don't want to know what I'll be doing."

"Will you be thinking of me?" She pulled herself up slowly and kissed his neck.

"Yes." He sucked in a quick breath as her kisses climbed to his ear.

"How will you be thinking of me?" she asked, cooing and making his dick twitch.

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?"

"I want you to like me, not hate me. Let's just leave it at that," he said. Nessie knew he had dirty thoughts on his mind. He was a guy. She wouldn't say it out loud, but she liked that she was in those thoughts.

They kissed deeply one final time before leaving their hiding spot. They held hands, lingering together, both aware that once the door opened they would have to separate.

"Bye, Jacob," Nessie said as he opened the door. He lifted their joined hands to his mouth and kissed her fingers. They both wanted more. These stolen moments weren't enough.

"Don't worry. I'll see you soon." With that last moment of yearning, their grip dissolved. She left, making her way back to her sorority sisters.

He waited until his erection died down before he left the room. He stopped at the concession stand to grab a soda and some food. Making out with Nessie had made him unbelievably hungry.

~o~

Nessie didn't stick around after the game to congratulate the football team on their big win to State. After home games, the crowd would usually gather around the locker room to wait for the players. This would be the first time she didn't stick around to see Tyler. Nessie knew it would likely make him angrier with her.

When she was a high school junior, she'd thought herself pretty hot stuff to be dating a college freshman… the starting quarterback at the University of Forks, no less. She would wait with the other girlfriends, who were all much older and more mature than Nessie, but she tried to blend in with them. She watched how the other girlfriends congratulated their boyfriends, and she mimicked their actions. Nessie's advances towards Tyler were always scripted and planned, nothing was done out of desire.

Nessie thought Tyler liked her at first. She knew that their relationship was important to him-it was basically a social match by their parents. He was patient at first with her for not wanting to sleep with him. Her father would kill her for sleeping with someone before marriage. Edward was always firm in that old school of thought. Soon, she sensed that Tyler was looking at the downside of dating a virginal, high school girl. There were too many college girls around him. She wasn't ready to take the next step, and Tyler decided to get sex elsewhere. Nessie was too scared of her parents to end their relationship, and so, somehow, she justified his actions for him.

She found her car, opened the door, and took a look around. She checked her phone. Nessie wanted to see Jacob one last time before she left, even if it were a quick glance from afar. She typed a message to Jacob and waited.

 _Look to your right,_ Jacob's reply said.

There he was, standing a few rows over, near an old beat-up car with his buddies. He waved to her before his large frame forced its way into the passenger seat. She could see Quil saying something to Jacob as he got in the driver's seat. Quil's face showed that he was up to no good. In an instant, a humorous scene played out before Nessie's eyes.

Jacob bounded out of the car and ran to the driver's side. Quil was too late on locking his door because Jacob dragged him out from his seat. The big man then pinned his friend face down on the hood of the car and twisted Quil's arm behind him. She watched as Quil squirmed and begged for mercy. Embry had already fallen to the ground laughing, unable to control himself.

Nessie laughed too. She couldn't imagine having friends like Jacob's. Even though they aggravated each other consistently, she knew they had a strong, unbreakable bond. She hoped his friends would like her. She waved to Jacob as she pulled out of the parking lot.

On her drive home, Nessie thought of her Jacob and their short but special time together tonight. _My Jacob._ She liked the sound of him being _hers_. Her reverie was interrupted by the buzz of her phone. She looked at the screen.

 _Where the hell are you?_

She knew she'd made Tyler angry, but she didn't care. She pulled her car over close to her house and texted her boyfriend a message.

 _Come over tomorrow after your practice. We need to talk._

 _Whatever,_ Tyler responded.

The realization that she was still officially in a relationship overwhelmed her. Though it was Tyler she had cheated on, she felt worse that she had wronged Jacob. She knew that he deserved her free of other attachments.

She knew she would need help and support when she talked to Tyler. He'd hit her before, and she wasn't so sure he wouldn't do it again. She picked up her phone and dialed the number of someone who'd understand what she was going to do. Most people thought her to be lucky to be dating Tyler Crowley, but she knew someone who felt differently. This friend would help her keep up her nerve and keep him from hurting her again.

"Hello," the voice answered.

"Hey, it's Nessie. What are you going tomorrow night?" she asked, not bothering with small talk.

"Nothing. Why?" the voice came through the phone.

"I need a little help with Tyler."

"What kind of help?"

"I need to break up with him, but I need you there with me."

"Okay. I'll be there. Are you ready for his reaction?" asked the voice.

"No. That's why I need you there. Oh, I also need something else from you," Nessie said.

"Sure, anything."

"I was wondering if you would bring your mace. I think I might need it."

"You don't even need to ask. I'll be there," Claire assured her. "I'll even buy you your own mace. My treat. It's your reward for getting rid of the jerk."

"Thanks, Claire."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow night."

They both hung up the phone. She had only been friends with Claire for a few short weeks. She liked Claire and the way she seemed to be friends with Nessie. She like Nessie for wh and not for being the rich daughter of Edward Cullen.

Nessie pulled back onto the road, drove a few more minutes, and turned onto the familiar, long driveway of home. The trees lined the drive perfectly, casting an eerie canopy over the dark road. She saw her father's silver Volvo parked in the garage.

Nessie entered the darkened house quietly, hoping to sneak to her room and go to sleep. She had so much on her mind that she felt exhausted. She hoped her mom and dad had already retired to their room for the night. Talking to her parents topped the list of her _least_ favorite things to do. She loved her parents, but, sometimes, she didn't like them very much.

"How was the game, Nessie?" a voice called from the dimly-lit study. Edward sat in his lounge chair with a book in his hands. He took off his reading glasses when he saw his daughter.

"Oh, hi, Dad. I didn't expect you to be up," she said. "The game? Um, it was good, I guess."

"How did Tyler do? I listened on the radio, and it seems he gave U of F another win," her Dad said proudly.

"He did fine." She truly had no idea how he had played. She could only think about being locked in a dark room with her tall, dark, and handsome Jacob. She was so glad that her father couldn't read her mind and the images flashing through it.

"Good, good. I'd like to have him over for dinner sometimes this week. I'll check my schedule at the hospital, and we can set it up. I haven't seen him around lately."

 _Hopefully he won't be coming around any more at all_ , she thought. "Okay, Dad. I'll talk to him." She would be talking to him, so she didn't lie to her father. She might not be inviting him over to dinner, but they would talk.

"Dad, I'm really tired. I'm going to call it a night. I need some sleep because I actually get to run tomorrow. The trainer gave me clearance. Isn't that great?" Nessie exclaimed.

"Sure." He didn't sound convincing. "I talked to Professor McCready, and he said you have a test this week. I expect you to do well." He didn't care about her running as much as he did about her schooling. "I'll be able to check on your grades before he tells the students. Aren't you glad you have a father who's so well connected at your school?"

"Oh, immensely," she forced a face smile, hoping her father wouldn't pick up on her sarcasm. The Cullens' connection to the university was important to her family. They were big contributors to many projects and various departments around the campus. The Cullen Library was their Arc de Triumph. They had invested and donated millions to have the state of the art building erected on the campus of their Alma Mater. They weren't humble in their charitable efforts either. It was no secret that the Cullens had great influence there. Money talked, and the Cullens could do whatever they wanted.

"Well, good night, sweetheart. I don't have another shift until tomorrow night, so I'll be looking forward to spending time with you. Maybe we can go over your work load for some of your classes and make out a schedule for your project deadlines." He seemed so excited at the thought of helping her with her workload. Too bad she didn't feel the same.

"That sounds fun, Dad." She walked over to where he sat. "Goodnight." She bent down to his forehead and kissed it. She wanted so badly for him to watch a stupid movie with her, eat popcorn, and laugh at nothing. Instead, his quality time with her always revolved around the planning of her future.

"Goodnight," he replied. He placed his glasses back on and buried himself in his reading.

She left the study and walked upstairs to her room. Nessie set the alarm early for her run and rolled herself into bed. With the covers wrapped tightly around her, she fell asleep.

~o~

How Jacob wished he didn't have to work this Sunday morning, especially since it involved laying sod by the president of the university's house. Apparently, there was a big party tonight, and the dirt lot next to the house was an eye sore. Many alumni with deep pockets would be there tonight, so everything needed to look nice. The perk to working on a Sunday was that he got paid time and a half for it. They wouldn't have to worry so much about paying for Billy's medicine this month.

He wished he could stay in bed this morning. He'd had a pretty fantastic dream last night that included Nessie and some of the various things he wanted to be doing with her. Jacob hoped one day he could roll over and have Nessie there with him. He hoped she could ease the ache he usually felt in the mornings, but the shower would have to be the place to relieve his sexual tension for now.

After his shower he felt much better. He'd used his thoughts of Nessie and how beautiful she was to get himself off. He pictured her the way he saw her in his dream last night – naked. God, he felt like a teenage boy who had never seen a girl without clothes on before. Jacob figured this would be his life for a while because he wanted to take it slow with the girl that invaded his thoughts every second of every day since he laid eyes on her. She deserved someone who respected her and didn't use her for what she could offer him.

He quickly dressed, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and headed out the door. There was always work to be done. The sunshine broke through the clouds just the slightest bit as he rode into town on his motorcycle. He passed the closed shops on the main drag and noticed how sleepy the town looked this morning. Besides the traffic for early church services, the town looked deserted.

He found Quil sitting in the Gator with his baseball cap tipped forward over his face. His breaths came heavily; he was obviously asleep.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," Jacob said as he pushed Quil from his spot.

"Huh? What happened?" Quil woke up a little disoriented and flailed his arms a bit. "Oh, shit. It's just you, Jake. It's about time you got here."

"I'm not late; you're just early. Did Sam say the sod is already there?" Jacob asked.

"Yea. He made sure everything was delivered. He wants us to finish early, if we can. They don't want a big mess around when the important people start showing up," Quil mentioned.

"Well, let's get going then."

They laid sod for a while without speaking, just doing their work. They were making good progress, and the weather cooperated today. The rain from the week before had finally let up, and the boys were thankful. They were so engrossed with their work that they barely heard her voice say hello.

"I said hello!" she raised her voice so that Jake would hear her.

Quil noticed Nessie first and whistled at Jacob to get his attention. "Hey, Black. You've got a special visitor."

He looked up from what he was doing and nearly fell over. Nessie stood there in long, spandex leggings with only a sports bra on top. It was chilly this morning. He thought she ought to have more clothes on, but she looked sweaty from her run. She raised her arms above her head and rested them there, trying to get her breathing under control. He could only focus on the cleavage spilling from the top of the purple bra. After a quick of staring at her breasts like the horn dog that he was, he came to.

"Look at you! You're running." He sounded excited. "How is it?" Jacob asked, walking over to her on the sidewalk.

"It sucks. I'm so out of shape. I've only run three miles, and it's killing me," she said. Her breathing slowed, and she took her hands off her head to place them on her narrow hips by her toned, flat stomach. "What are you two doing here on a Sunday morning?"

"There's a big party tonight, so we need to get the grounds around this house looking nice," Jacob explained. "It rained all week, so we couldn't get to it until today."

"Oh, my parents and grandparents are going to that party," she smiled at Jacob. She looked over at Quil who had stopped working and poured himself a drink out of his thermos. Jacob couldn't quit staring at Nessie in her running gear. He especially liked watching her chest heave up and down. His lusting was interrupted when he noticed her arm. He saw it was black and blue. Stepping forward to get a closer look, he started to touch it with his finger.

"Ness, what happened to you? That's a nasty bruise." He noticed her flinch a bit when his finger got too close, so he backed off.

"Oh, it's nothing," she lied. How could she have forgotten about her arm this morning? She was so excited about running that she hadn't bothered to check her appearance in the mirror before she took off.

"It doesn't look like nothing. How in the heck did you do that?" he asked innocently, thinking she must have done something crazy to get a bruise up there on her bicep.

She didn't respond. She didn't know how to, and that's when he noticed the shape of it.

"God, Ness. It's a hand print." He started to wonder how she could have gotten it. Who would have squeezed her arm hard enough to cause such a mark? She folded her arms together, feeling a little self-conscious about everything. She didn't know why she was hesitant in telling him the truth.

"Whose hand did this?" He tried not to talk through gritted teeth. He was growing angrier by the moment as he thought about someone hurting her. He balled his hands into fists and breathed deeply, trying to get his temper under control. She kept silent. "Ness, please tell me who hurt you? It's okay to tell me."

"Tyler," she finally admitted sheepishly.

 _That fucking son of a bitch_ , Jacob thought. Jacob's mind raced through the many ways he'd like to hurt Tyler.

"What the hell? What made him think he could do such a thing?" Jacob began but went on, "You know, it doesnt' matter what happened. There's no reason for it, Ness."

"I was mad at him and tried to walk away. He grabbed me because he wasn't through talking to me. That's all. It's not big deal." Nessie tried to downplay her confrontation with Tyler.

"It's not a big deal? You're fucking kidding, right?" He usually only cussed around his friends, but those words flowed freely when he was angry. "I'm going to kill him," Jacob growled.

"No, you're not. You aren't going to do anything. I can handle this," Nessie declared.

"Ness, I can't do that. He hurt you. He laid his hands on you in the _wrong_ _way_. I can't believe you don't think this is a big deal."

"The bruise will go away soon. I'm sure he didn't mean to do it."

Jacob walked a few paces away from her. He knew he shouldn't be angry at her, but he was dumbfounded that she was defending the jerk. "Ness, have you broken it off with him yet?" He wouldn't look at her when he asked.

"No. He's coming over tonight, so we can talk," she said.

"If your parents are here tonight, then you'll be alone with him. That's unacceptable. Do you realize what he could do?" Jacob asked.

Nessie couldn't look at him. She was too ashamed. "I know. My friend Claire is coming. She'll be with me. I'll be fine. You worry too much about me." She finally got up the courage to look at him. She slowly walked over to him.

"I know you're a big girl and all, but when it comes to guys who act like that, you should be more cautious. I need to worry about you, Ness. I care about you too much not to." He pulled her into him as soon as she was within arm's reach.

"I'll come over tonight," he suggested.

"You can't. I don't need you beating him up. I have a feeling you want to." She was right. He wanted to beat the crap of him, wait for him to heal, and then beat him to a pulp again. Repeating as much as necessary.

"That's beside the point. I need to make sure he doesn't hurt you because he'll get upset with you. Guys like him don't get dumped. They always do the dumping," Jacob said.

"Please trust me. Claire will be there. I'll keep my phone in my pocket. I'll be fine. I'll call you if anything happens. Okay?" She hugged him around his neck and stood on her tiptoes to reach his face. She kissed his neck, hoping to ease his concerns. "Please, Jacob..."

"Okay. I don't like it at all, though," he agreed reluctantly. "If anything happens to you..."

"Nothing will happen. I'll be fine."

He embraced her and couldn't let go of the bad feeling he had in his gut. He didn't like this situation at all. He knew he couldn't stay away. He'd be there tonight, but she would never know.

He and Tyler had some business to take care of.

~o~O~o~

If you are still reading this story, it's okay to leave a review. If you're re-reading it, it's okay to say hello, too! ( I'm enjoying re-reading and editing the story I wrote nine years ago. I'd love your feedback!


	7. Irreplaceable

"To the left, to the left...

Everything you own in the box to the left...

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable."

~Irreplaceable by Beyoncé

The box sat on her bed, half-full of his stuff. Everything that Tyler had given her rested in the cardboard box. She found his high school letterman's jacket and threw it over to the bed; his U of F sweatshirt joined the jacket. The senior ring he let her wear around her neck and other various pieces of jewelry found a new home in a velvet pouch. The purple pouch met the other random items in the box. The stupid dried flowers she had saved just found their way to her trash. She glanced through the small photo album where she had kept the pictures of the two of them. Each photo found itself ripped in two before joining the flowers in the trash can. Nessie was purging.

It felt good.

She'd waited until her parents had left for the party at the President's home to start the pre-break up cleansing. Privacy was needed at a time like this. She shed no tears-only anger and frustration were released. Nessie was mad at herself for allowing the manipulations to force her into such a horrible, abusive relationship. If she were brave enough, the box, along with the contents of the trash can, would be set on fire in the middle of the front lawn. She couldn't do it. Giving Tyler back his things would be hard enough. Breaking up with him would mean she would have to summon all the bravery she had. He wasn't going to take it well.

Tyler had to watch the game film every Sunday afternoon, followed by weight training. In collegiate sports, there were no days off. Even Sunday, the standard day of rest, was utilized. Claire would be over soon, which gave Nessie the confidence she needed to follow through on her plan. She hoped Jacob would understand why he couldn't be here. He would only cause more trouble for her. She wanted the conversation with Tyler to be over and done with quickly. She put her phone in her pocket to call Jacob when it was all over.

The doorbell rang, and she ran down the stairs to answer it. She knew it would be Claire, so she hurried and opened the door in excitement.

"You have a long driveway. We don't have those kinds of driveways where I'm from. Well, we don't have any driveways in the city. Maybe a short one to the garage, if you have a garage," Claire rambled while Nessie stood at the door. "And what's with the gate? I've only seen those in the movies."

"Would you like to come in? Or do you want to run around my driveway and play with the gate?" Nessie motioned for Claire to come inside. Claire, who usually chatted endlessly, was silenced when her eyes soaked in the extravagance of Nessie's home.

"Whoa. Your house is huge. My whole family's apartment could fit in your entry way." Claire stood just inside the front door, wide-eyed, staring up at the crystal chandelier that hung overhead. Nessie watched as Claire glanced around at the original works of art adorning the walls of the grand foyer.

Nessie didn't know how to respond to Claire's reaction to her home, so she tried the next best thing. "Do you want something to drink? I've got tea, soda, or water. Pick your poison." She led her friend to the kitchen.

"Vodka on the rocks," Claire said. Nessie stopped mid-stride and eye-balled her new friend. She had a bad taste in her mouth concerning alcohol; too many years of her mother's life had been wasted because of it. Too many years of her mom's life had been wasted because of her drinking.

"Nessie, I'm kidding. I never touch the stuff. Water would be perfect." Claire pushed Nessie on the shoulder, making her smile. "Loosen up, child. You're about to break up with a crazy boyfriend that your family adores. You should be so happy." Nessie enjoyed Claire's sarcasm. "I will try and refrain from drop kicking his ass when he comes in the door." Claire could probably do so in the black Doc Martens she wore. Her red flannel shirt tucked into some distressed overalls completed the look. Claire was the epitome of kick ass-even her eye liner was on point. She was just who Nessie needed.

"Drop kick? What in the world are you talking about?" Nessie asked, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

"You're kidding, right? You do know what a drop kick is?" Claire looked stunned.

"No, I'm not kidding."

"It's a wrestling move...You have watched wrestling, haven't you?" Claire asked.

I guess I missed out on that one." Nessie shrugged and handed Claire her water.

"I can't believe you've never watched it!" Claire was incredulous.

"I haven't watched a lot of things other people have."

"Growing up, it was a huge event in our house. We'd move our furniture to the sides of the room, so we would have room to wrestle. My mom would watch from the kitchen. It was the only place safe from my brothers and me. Good times."

Nessie watched Claire's arms flailing about as she told her story. She could remember a time when she'd felt like that with her family. She was really young, maybe three or four. They would visit her Grandpa Charlie. She remembered how she would run to him as soon as her feet were out of the car, and he would lift her up high and spin her around. Something happened to those happy times. They were taken away from her, and she never knew why. She hadn't seen her grandpa since she was young. She didn't even know if she would recognize him if she saw him today. She was told he moved away, and no other explanation was given as to why she couldn't see him.

"Well, I'm the only child, so I didn't have anyone to wrestle. Heaven forbid my dad do anything like that. I was allowed to watch TV only on the weekends, and it had to be an educational program. I had music, ballet, and French lessons in addition to my schooling. Needless to say, I don't think my parents would be too fond of wrestling. I, on the other hand, would probably enjoy drop-kicking someone."

"So you've lived a sheltered life here, huh?" Claire asked.

"You could say that. It's not too bad. My family loves me and gives me everything I need." Nessie tried to make it sound genuine. Claire just stared at her.

"Don't try to make it sound okay when it's not. I've known you a little while now, and it seems your family gives you everything you want - as long as you don't go against anything they say." Claire paused. "What do you think they'll say about Jacob? He's not necessarily from your side of the tracks."

Claire knew about Jacob. She was the only person Nessie could talk to about him. "I haven't figured it out yet, but I will. Somehow, I'll get my parents to see that Jacob is the most honest and caring person I know."

"Not to mention he's hot. Well, according to your description. You might not mention that part to your dad," Claire smiled, recalling the description of Jacob that Nessie had given her.

Their conversation was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Nessie jerked to attention and froze, scared.

"You can do this, Nessie. I'll be listening from in here the whole time. I may be little, but I can take care of myself. I have three older brothers. That's why I'm so scrappy. Here...take this." Claire gave her a hot pink container of mace.

"Aww, you shouldn't have," Nessie joked nervously and placed it in her pocket. She hoped there was no need to use it tonight.

"Remember, I'm in the room with all the knives. I'll find a good one to use on him, if I have to. I will cut a bitch. I'm not afraid to go back to jail," Claire said, smiling.

"What are you talking about? Jail?" Nessie was puzzled.

"Good God, Nessie. You've got to quit being so serious. It's my sense of humor. It's not the best, but it's all I got. Get used to it...Now, go answer the door before I scare him away."

~o~

He sat across the street from the Cullen estate. He'd driven his Rabbit tonight. The motorcycle would have been too conspicuous. He watched as a red sports car stopped at the gate, a hand reached out to enter a code, and then the car continued down the driveway.

Damn rich people and their gates. _How am I supposed to watch that jerk when I can't even get in there?_ Jacob thought to himself. He had to get out of the car and pace back and forth. His body shook with worry. He wanted to beat the shit out of Tyler for hurting Nessie. He pictured her and her soft, brown eyes and wondered how someone could touch her in anger. He was damn sure it wasn't the first time Tyler had laid hands on Ness.

"Okay, Jake. Are we gonna wait here or try to get in there?" Quil asked.

"I have no idea," Jacob answered. He didn't really have a plan. Jacob usually acted before he thought things through. Nessie would probably be mad at him for doing what he had planned, but he saw no other option. Women weren't punching bags.

~o~

Nessie opened the door to an exhausted looking Tyler. He hadn't cleaned up after practice, and she could smell the sweat seeping from his pores. It repulsed her.

"I'm here. You wanted to talk." He walked into the foyer without an invitation.

"Yea, I did. Um, I have this for you." She pointed to the box to her left.

"What the hell is all my stuff doing in there?" he asked. He bent down over the box, rummaging through the items. "I gave these things to you. I don't want them back."

"It's for you to take. I don't want them anymore." Nessie didn't look at him and tried to keep herself as far away from him as possible.

"I don't understand, Nessie. What are you saying?" He looked confused.

"What do you think?" She didn't understand how he wasn't picking up on the obvious break-up clues.

"I don't believe what I'm hearing. Are you trying to break up with me?" He took a step towards her.

"Yes." She backed away from him further and found herself against the wall. She pressed her hands against the coolness of the surface behind her. It steadied her body and kept her from tumbling over.

He didn't talk for a few minutes. He turned from, walked back to the box, and stared at it. He took out the velvet pouch. "You don't know what you're doing, _Red_. Let's talk this over. This jewelry is a symbol of my love for you." He fumbled inside the pouch searching for something. A small, silver ring emerged, resting between his thumb and forefinger.

"Remember this ring? I gave it to you when you turned eighteen. It was a promise rings of sorts. You've never had it off before." He came to her, tugging at her shirt. "You couldn't have lost interest in me that quickly." She moved her body away from his. "You never wanted me to touch you much."

"You know how I feet about sleeping with you, and you found others to fulfill your needs. If you really loved me, you'd have understood," she argued, moving herself to the other side of the room. Her rejection seemed to anger him.

"You gave me no choice. Don't you see?" He threw the pouch onto the marble floor; the sound reverberated throughout the entry way, and some of its contents bounced to various corners of the room.

"I don't care about what you did behind my back anymore. I was stupid to allow it to happen. You should be happy that you can go have whomever you want. I know Jessica and a few others will be thrilled," she said, hoping her words hurt.

"It's funny, Nessie. I did find others to help me with the one thing you wouldn't give me. But if it helps, I did imagine that it was you when I was with those girls. All I have ever wanted was you. I know I might not show it, but it's true." He crossed the hall to her. He was so quick that she couldn't process his movement fast enough to react to it. He stood close to her, too close. There was no where for her to go. He backed her to a wall, placing his arms on either side of her head. His head moved close to hers. She watched as a bead of sweat traveled from his temple down his jaw line. She thought she even heard it drop to the floor.

"Just so you know, I'm not alone in this house. My friend is here. If you do anything, she'll call the police. Please don't touch me," she requested. He didn't move away. He didn't seem the least bit scared of her friend.

"Don't you see that we're meant to be together? It's been that way since we were little. Your parents and my parents want this to happen. Can you imagine our life together if we get married? For one, you'd finally fuck me. And two, we'd be the most prominent couple around—the envy of everyone. We'd have more money than God." Tyler seemed to be talking her into staying with him. He never mentioned how much he loved her or how much he would miss her when she was gone. Only the money mattered—the Cullens' mass fortune. His lips grazed her cheekbone, and he tried to kiss her mouth. She turned her head before he made contact. She could feel him seething with anger.

A few weeks ago, his argument might have worked. Out of duty, she would have agreed with him. Out of obligation, she would have been miserable. Not until Jacob entered her life did she realize that being with someone should be about happiness and not what the other could bring to the relationship.

"I don't see us together, Tyler. I can't imagine being married to you." _I can't even imagine fucking you,_ she said to herself. "Please just accept this and leave. Take your box with you." She had hoped their conversation would be short and sweet. She thought that maybe he would honor her wishes, but it seemed unlikely now.

She pushed her body away from his and walked across the entry way again.

"If you leave me, you'll never live it down. Your parents will practically shit when they find out you broke up with me. My parents will kill me. You know your mom and dad love me, and no one else will ever do," he boasted.

"That's a chance I'm willing to take. I don't love you, and I'm not going to stay with you for my parents - or yours, for that matter. That doesn't make for a healthy relationship. We wouldn't last, and we'd wind up just another divorce statistic." He didn't stay away from her. No matter how hard she tried, she found his body close to hers. She became fearful when he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the study, closing the door.

"Tyler, please open the door." She heard an audible click. The door locked. "You just need to go. You don't really love me." Her voice trembled. She backed away from him, growing fearful of being alone in a locked room with him.

"But I do love you, Nessie. You need to see that." He paused, darting his mad-man eyes around the room. It was as if he were listening for someone. "Who's in the house?" he asked.

"Why?" She backed away from him.

"I'm wondering if I need to worry about anyone interrupting," he said, taking a step closer to her.

"Interrupting what, Tyler?"

He didn't answer her question. His eyes widened as he took another step closer, trying to scare her. It was working. She had no idea what he planned to do to her.

"Is it your crazy friend from the library the other day? She's the only person I can think of that would be here. If that's who it is, I can take her. I go up against guys three times her size on the football field. Bring on the crazy bitch!" He broke into a laugh, the likes of which Nessie had never heard before. She didn't know the boy standing in front of her. Something had changed in him; a switch had been flipped.

"What are you planning, Tyler?" She put a chair between the two of them.

"I'm planning on convincing you not to do this. No one rejects me, Nessie. Especially you. No one will date you." He tried to walk around the chair to embrace her, but she moved away, eluding his touch. "I'll put the word out, and you'll be a social pariah. See how you like that. Being alone isn't any fun."

"I won't be alone," she said without thinking. Those words got his attention. She couldn't out maneuver him, and he had her by the wrist.

"Huh? What do you mean?" He tugged gently, trying to get her to come to him. She refused, so he pulled harder. "Answer me. Why won't you be alone? Are you seeing someone else?" He gritted his teeth and held her tightly in his arms, against her will. His breath felt hot against her cheek. She didn't like how close he was to her, and she shook with fear. She wished Jacob were here now.

She regretted the comment she'd made. She didn't want to bring Jacob into this mess. He deserved better. "Maybe," was all she said. Becoming enraged, he pushed her down to the floor. Her head hit the wooden hand rest of the chair as she fell hard.

"You've been cheating on me?" He walked away from her for a moment, trying to contain his anger. He quickly ran his arm across a shelf, and books crashed loudly to the floor.

She didn't answer his question. The less he knew the better. She lifted her fingers to the side of her head and touched the blood that surfaced from the blow. It wasn't a big wound but enough to give her an intense headache.

Nessie glanced at the door to the study while Tyler had his back to her. She pulled out the mace Claire had given her and readied it in her hand. She sat up, getting herself ready to get out of there, but her chance to escape was shortened by the throbbing in her head. She couldn't find her balance, much less make a dash for the door.

"Oh, God, Nessie." His voice sounded apologetic, turning back into the Tyler she remembered. "You're bleeding. You can be so clumsy sometimes." Tyler walked over to her and held out his hand to help her up. He was acting as though he'd had nothing to do with how she came to be lying on the floor bleeding.

"I can get up by myself. Please leave me alone. Leave my house. I don't want you here. Do you hear me?" she said forcefully.

Nessie watched Tyler struggle with some inner turmoil. It was as if he were talking to himself on what to do next. His hands had balled into fists, and he was pacing back and forth. He was caught between leaving and being with the injured girl lying on the floor. His eyes widened when the doors began to shake, and Claire's voice could be heard screaming.

"Unlock this door! I swear I will call the cops. If you've done anything to her, I'll cut off your balls and hang them in the town square," Claire yelled. "Nessie, talk to me."

"I'm fine, Claire. I think Tyler was just leaving. Right?" She looked up at him to see if he had made up his mind on whatever he was debating with himself. She held up her mace for him to see. "I'll use this on you, Tyler. You need to go. I don't want to see you again," she threatened him and used all she had to be as convincing as possible.

Tyler looked defeated. He slammed his hands against the wall and grabbed a glass bowl that adorned a nearby table. He threw it at the door, and it shattered to a million pieces. He let out a loud, guttural roar. Nessie could hear Claire yelling obscenities from behind the door.

"Nessie, you'll regret leaving me. You'll never forgive yourself." His voice was barely audible. He sounded both angry and hurt at the same time. He took a step towards Nessie, and she scooted herself back against the chair. Her hand shook as she pointed the mace at him. The unsettled Tyler turned and slowly walked away from her. He unlocked the door and pushed it open as hard as he could. Nessie was glad that Claire had moved out of the way. She watched as he grabbed his box.

He stared at Claire, who stood in the entry way. "Don't think this won't reflect on you, too, bitch. The two of you will have a hard time on campus now. You'll have no one. I'll make sure of it."

"I so don't give damn about people liking me. Weren't we supposed to leave that shit behind us in high school? You need to worry about not getting arrested tonight. Let's see how many people will like the school's star quarterback after he beat up his defenseless girlfriend." She started walking toward the door, and it looked like Tyler might be a little scared of her. "Now get the hell out. Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" she hollered, flailing one of her arms about. Tyler couldn't see the knife she'd hidden behind her back with the other arm.

He backed out of the door without taking his eyes off of Claire. She slammed the door and locked it when he finally left. Claire set down the knife and found Nessie lying on the floor and sat next to her. Nessie began to cry and buried her head in her arms. Claire took hold of her broken friend. She brought Nessie close to her chest and held her there. The quiet cries turned into sobs. Claire stroked her hair and became angered when she saw blood on her hand.

"Shh. It's all over. It's going to be okay. Shh," Claire whispered as she rocked Nessie in her arms. "I want to call the police so badly right now, Nessie. He should be in jail."

"No, please don't. I just want it to go away," Nessie cried.

A few minutes later, the girls heard Tyler's tires squeal down the driveway. Nessie was going to have a hard time making up a story to explain the broken antique bowl. Luckily, she could hide the gash. That would have been too difficult to explain otherwise.

~o~

Jacob and Quil saw the red sports car leave the long driveway and turn onto the main road. Jacob made a turn in the same direction. As he followed the red tail lights, his mind raced with the events that could have happened at Nessie's house. He had no clue if she was upset, sad, or hurt. The need for his fist to make contact with Tyler's face overpowered him. His hands gripped the steering wheel so hard that his arms ached from the tension.

"Jake, what's the plan?" Quil asked, staring at his friend. When Jacob glanced his way, he hoped Quil understood his unspoken request to keep quiet. Jacob was in no mood to talk.

The sports car meandered through town, stopping at the red lights. Tyler pulled into a gas station to fill up his gas tank. Jacob and Quil pulled off in the neighboring parking lot, waiting.

"We can do it right now, Jake. It won't take us but two seconds to have his ass on the ground. Then we can go," Quil suggested.

"No, not here. We'll wait until we get on campus. Less eyes around," Jacob said. He watched Tyler intently as he opened the passenger door and occupied himself with a box in his front seat. He took out a few items and threw them in the trash can. He looked furious. Jacob's mind wandered to Nessie. He wondered how she was and wished he could be with her.

Tyler finished washing his windshield and got back in his car. Jacob and Quil said nothing while they watched their target. The dim gas station lighting seemed to cast a shade of red on the area surrounding Tyler and his car. Jacob didn't know whether he was seeing red because of the lighting or his anger. Tyler's car pulled out and started its way back onto the road. A few minutes, later he finally swerved onto the campus by the men's dormitories.

Tyler parked his car. Jacob found a spot away from the sports car and parked as well. He killed the engine. His hand held tightly to the door handle, and before he could open it, his phone buzzed. Quil gave him an exasperated look.

"Check it later. We've got business to take care of. Your personal life will have to wait." Quil was wanting a fight tonight, and he didn't want any distractions from what he and Jacob had planned.

Jacob looked at his friend. "What if it's her?" he asked.

"You can talk to her later. She'll be fine. She's got some chick there to help her, right?"

Jacob couldn't let go of the thought that she might need him. He took the phone out of his pocket. "Sorry, Bro."

"I knew you couldn't resist," Quil chuckled, shaking his head.

He looked at his messages. It was her.

 _I need you._ Ness

It was his Ness. He had two choices. He could go and beat the shit out of Tyler, meet her later, and risk her finding out what he'd done against her wishes. If they were caught, he even risked jail time. The other choice was to start the car and take care of her.

He started the car. The two guys watched Tyler as he walked safely into his dorm.

"So much for a little fun tonight," Quil grumbled.

"Hey, one day you'll understand why I'm doing this," Jacob reasoned.

"I'm never gonna be whipped by a chick. Love 'em and leave 'em. That's my motto," Quil said, laughing. "Do I have to sit around and wait for you to make out with her at her house? That's going to be so boring."

"She does have a friend over." Jacob hoped that a girl would his friend a little less upset about going to the Cullens' house.

"How could I be interested in one of Nessie's friends? I like a different kind of girl." Quil refused to be placated.

"You never know what could happen." Jacob was just messing with Quil now.

"Yeah, right. Like I'll ever take one look at a girl and be smitten with her like you did. That ain't happening to me." Quil was so confident and proud of his single status. He vowed never to act like his friends had. One by one they dropped like flies, falling in love with some girl or another. The sad part was that they all were faithful and never wanted anyone else. Quil didn't understand a life like that. _Me? Like one of Nessie's friends? Highly unlikely,_ he thought to himself.

The two boys began their way to Nessie's house. Jacob needed to hold her. He needed to make sure that she'd made it through the break-up okay. She had defied her parents by breaking it off with Tyler and had to be feeling awful. Jacob's life was forever intertwined with this girl. Whatever was to come, good or bad, he would endure it with her.

~o~O~o

It's okay to review! I really love to read and respond to them. Thanks for reading!


	8. Clumsy

_**You got me trippin', stumblin', flippin', fumblin'  
Clumsy 'cause I'm fallin' in love in love.  
You got me slippin', tumblin', sinkin', crumblin'  
Clumsy 'cause I'm fallin' in love in love.  
~Clumsy by Fergie**_

Jacob sat on his beach and watched the waves lap to the shore. He glanced at his watch and saw the time; they were late, as usual. Normally, it would be okay for his friends to be tardy, but today he had to leave at a certain time. They were cutting into their football time by not being here on time. It would be their loss because he couldn't care less about playing a game today. The party was tonight, and his girl would be here. Life was good.

His mind felt free to wander out here, out where he spent most of his quiet time. It was here on this beach where he cried after his mom's death. It was here where he screamed his frustration at the horizon after his father's accident. It was here that he cursed the forces that kept him in La Push, kept him from being able to follow a dream—a dream of a college degree and a football career that would make his mom proud.

He wanted to be the first Quileute to graduate from a university. Looking out at the sunset, he accepted that he would live on the rez forever with the same job and the same friends.

It wasn't that it was a bad life - it just wasn't the life he'd planned for himself.

His life was changing, though. He was secretly dating an amazing girl that turned his world upside down in a good way. A few weeks ago, he couldn't fathom this change in his life. He looked back on how she'd appeared like magic. I If only being together were as easy as blinking an eye or twitching a nose, like it was on TV.

He thought back on the night he'd planned to hurt Tyler, but instead, he wound up cradling a hurt Nessie in his arms. Yes, his life was changing, and that night would be seared in his brain forever...

~o~

Jacob pushed in the code and watched as the wrought-iron gate slowly opened. He had just gotten off the phone with Claire. He wished he'd had those four numbers an hour ago. He could have beaten up Tyler and gotten to Nessie just minutes afterward. He knew that it would have been difficult explaining to Nessie why there was a black and blue, blonde-headed guy unconscious in her front yard, but he could still dream about it.

"I don't think I can believe what I see, Jake." Quil sounded amazed at the opulence of Nessie's house. The front yard alone was a perfectly sculptured garden.

"You and me both, man." Jacob finally came to the end of the drive and parked. The two young men exited the Rabbit and headed towards the door. Jacob turned back and looked at his car. He couldn't help but notice how the old jalopy with the shabby paint job looked out of place at her house. It seemed to be a place where only European sports cars would reside. He felt the same way his car looked – out of place.

"Jake, I'll catch up to you at the front door. I want to put my jacket in the car. It's getting warm out here." Quil ran back to the Rabbit, and Jacob kept walking. Now that he was here, he was anxious to see and hold his Nessie.

A petite girl with black hair answered the door. She was pretty, Jacob thought, but not the kind of beauty that could compare to his Ness.

"She wasn't kidding." Claire looked Jacob up and down slowly, making him feel a little uncomfortable.

"You must be Claire. Hi, I'm Jacob." He reached out his hand to shake hers. She did the same. "Who wasn't kidding?" he asked.

"Oh, Nessie. When she described you to me she said you were hot," Claire said without a hint of embarrassment. Most girls would snicker at calling someone hot to their face, but not Claire.

Ignoring the compliment, Jacob worried, "How is she?"

"She's been better. Her sobbing has stopped, and she finally fell asleep. I've got her in the den under a blanket. She's resting her head." Claire stopped and looked at Jacob. "She's got a bad headache..."

"Oh, what can I do?" Jacob didn't sense where Claire was heading with the information she was giving him.

"Nessie's headache didn't just magically appear, Jacob." Claire tried to get Jacob to guess what had happened to Nessie. She'd sworn to Nessie that she wouldn't tell anyone what Tyler had done to her. However, Claire was more than willing to bend the rules and let Jacob guess the truth.

Jacob stared at the short girl in front of him. He tried very hard to pick up on the clues she was giving him.

"She's got a headache, so..." Things started to come together. "How did she get that headache?" He cocked his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows as understand dawned. He started to get upset, knowing the answer but still desperately hoping that he was wrong.

"I can't tell you, but I'm just leaving it to you to figure out. She's too ashamed, Jacob. She wouldn't even let me call the cops."

"That son of a bitch! I was this close to kicking his ass tonight, but I had to-" _No, don't even regret your decision. You're supposed to be here with her. She needs you,_ he told himself.

After a few moments of silence between them, he heard Claire speak.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, but her question wasn't directed towards Jacob. Quil had joined them in the house. Jacob had been so focused on Nessie that he didn't hear him come in. He had forgotten that Quil was even here with him.

Claire gave Jacob an exasperated look. "What the hell is he looking at?"

Finally, Jacob gathered himself together enough to look at his friend. Quil hadn't moved in a while, and his eyes were locked on Claire. His mouth hung open, and a dumber than average expression was plastered on his face.

Jacob ran his hand in front of Quil's eyes, but he didn't flinch. "Quil, dude. Wake. Up." Quil suddenly jerked to attention and looked at Jacob.

"What's wrong with you, Quil?" Jacob asked, looking over to Claire who watched Quil with a quizzical look on her face. "See something you like, heh?" Jacob chuckled.

"Um, Jacob, let me take you to Nessie," Claire said and started walking to the den. "Does he always act this stupid?" she whispered to Jacob.

"Nope. You're the first girl to ever make him look this way." Claire stopped, not knowing what to think of Jacob's comment. She pointed to the couch where Nessie lay. "Would you keep him company while I talk to Nessie?" Jacob suggested.

"I guess. I'm only doing it because Nessie needs you right now, but you owe me big time. Do I have to wipe up the drool?" she complained.

Jacob smiled. "Quil, looks like you might enjoy hanging out here after all, huh?" He left his dumbfounded friend with Claire. He knew that look. It was the look he had when he saw Nessie for the first time. He knew Quil was a goner.

He let Claire fend for herself with Quil; he had Nessie to worry about. She looked peaceful sleeping on the couch. Her arms wrapped themselves around a white pillow, and a blanket intertwined with her legs. She lay on her side, and her wild, copper hair spread out all around her body. He sat on the floor in front of her with his face close to hers. He watched her breathe steadily and enjoyed listening to the small sighs she let out while she slept.

Jacob took his hands and brushed away some loose curls that caressed her face. His hand trailed to the ends of her hair. It was soft and felt cool on his hot fingers. He imagined being with her and the way her hair cascading around his body as she made love to him would feel. One day, he would have all of her. One day.

He felt content watching her in this state. He stroked her silky hair again and something rough and hard broke up into his hands. He brought his fingers up and rubbed whatever is was between them. The redness spread on his fingers. Her blood. Somehow, this wound caused her massive headache. The pain he wanted to inflict on Tyler earlier in no way compared to how he felt right now. Tyler would have gotten off easy if he had followed through with his plan earlier in the night. If he saw the jerk now, Tyler wouldn't know what had hit him.

As he rubbed the clotted blood between his fingers some more, he didn't notice her eyes flutter open. He didn't see the weak, crooked smile that spread across her face when she saw who sat in front of her.

"Hey, you," she said, sounding tired.

Pleasantly surprised by her voice, he touched his thumb to her face and ran it along her cheek bone. "Hey back." He smiled at her, and the two sets of brown eyes honed in on one another. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better with you here," she answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jacob asked. Nessie's eyes retreated from his to the ceiling.

"No," she said weakly. "I just want to forget about it and move on."

"It's okay to talk about things with me. I'll listen."

"I know. I'm just not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready," she admitted.

"I know what he did to you, Ness. I would never hurt you. I want you to know that." Jacob meant what he said with all his heart.

He cupped her jaw in his hand, rubbing his thumb on her cheek. Her alabaster skin contrasted with his, and the two looked beautiful together. Before he knew it, he had rubbed a few stray tears that escaped from her closed eyes. Without hesitation, he scooped her up in his arms and brought her body close to his. He couldn't stand to see her this hurt. He sat on the couch, holding her body across his. She hugged his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, and he felt the warmth of her breath on his neck. Jacob grabbed the blanket and secured it around her more firmly.

He held her while she cried quietly in his arms until Claire reminded him that he should go before her parents arrived home from the party. His arms were tired from his fierce grip on her body, but he didn't care in the slightest. If he had to hold her like that all night, he would. Jacob hated leaving her. He wished he knew her family and could talk to her mom and dad. One day soon, maybe they would accept him and allow him to be a part of her family life.

For now, he had to sneak out and pretend he was never here.

"Please take him away." Claire nodded her head toward Quil. "The way he keeps looking at me creeps me out." Claire walked both men to the front door.

"I'll take him off your hands. Thanks for putting up with him for a while. He's actually a pretty good guy, if you give him a chance." Jacob hoped to put in a few good words for his buddy.

"I don't care. He's strange."

"I think he'll rub off on you before you know it." Jacob gave her a smile.

"He wishes," Claire scoffed as she shut the door.

Quil and Jacob quietly got in the Rabbit. Jacob said nothing to Quil until he stopped, waiting for the gate to open. He turned to look at his buddy, who obviously took an interest in Claire tonight.

"Don't say a word. I don't have a clue what happened tonight. All I'm going to tell you is that woman is going to be mine even if I have to convince her from here until eternity to go on a date with me."

Jacob chuckled and began to say something, but Quil cut him off. "I said I don't want to hear it. I don't need you making wise cracks at me."

"All I was going to say was 'welcome to the club.'" Jacob left the Cullen's state and headed back to the reservation...

~o~

"That's not fair," yelled Seth. Jacob heard his friends approaching and was snapped out of his reverie. He listened to the argument that the young Seth brought up whenever they planned a game.

"Sure it is," Quil said.

"Every time we play, Jake and you are on the same team. You have to split up to make it fair," Seth whined.

"Seth, do we have to go through this every time? Jake and I are a packaged deal. He plays, and I play with him. If I'm not on his team, then I sit out," Quil fired back.

"Jake can run circles around us all and out throw us by a mile. You can run like the wind, so it's no fair. All you do is run down the beach, and he launches it to you. It's too easy. You two can split up and make it a fair game for once." Seth tried to reason with Quil. He stretched out his body, trying to intimidate his tall, stubborn friend. Quil laughed at Seth.

"No way. It's not happening," Quil answered.

Jacob approached his friends as they argued on the beach. He heard this argument before every game. Only Seth and Quil ever fought about whose team they were on. The other guys just liked to play. They liked the challenge of trying to take down Jacob and catch Quil. They were meeting this afternoon for a quick game of football before the party they'd planned. The fire would start around sundown, then the party would begin.

"I can't play today...sorry," Jacob smiled. He was wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a black t-shirt with a name of some band or another. He had tennis shoes on; usually he went barefoot on his beach.

"And why the hell not?" Seth asked, disappointed.

"For starters, you're late, but, more importantly, I have a woman to pick up for the party tonight. You guys can play, though."

"Only a girl could keep you from playing, Jake. Is Miss Hottie bringing her friend for Quil? You know, the one he can't shut up about." Ever since Quil saw Claire, he couldn't stop talking about her. The guys were tired of listening to him and really hoped this girl would somehow take an interest in him just so he would shut up.

"Tell me she talked Claire into coming?" Quil pleaded with Jacob.

"Last I heard, she wasn't sure. I'll find out when I get there," Jacob said.

"You've got to help me, Jake. Put in a good word for me." Quil was desperate.

"I've put in a thousand good words for you. I think you picked a girl that's not going to take your shit. You've finally met your match," Jacob laughed.

"Yep, I'm screwed," Quil sighed. "I'm not giving up, though. I might have a restraining order against me when it's all said and done, but she can't say I didn't try." Quil smirked. "Hey, let's play. Now that Jake's not here, you should be okay with the teams, Seth. The others should be here soon."

"See you guys in a few," Jacob said as he jogged down the beach to the parking lot. He glanced at his watch and realized he would be late getting to the Brass Monkey if he didn't leave right now. He didn't want to keep Nessie waiting.

 _On my way. Can't wait to see you_. He typed a message to her quickly and hopped in his car. It creaked and shifted when he got in.

A moment later, she responded. _We'll be waiting._ He was glad that Claire was coming, too.

~o~

Nessie sat in her car, waiting for two people. The first one was Claire. Nessie practically had to beg her to come. Jacob said he would owe her big time if she convinced Claire to make her way to La Push so Quil could see her again. Her mind wandered and thought of how he could "make it up" to her. She couldn't believe that just a few hours ago, she was in another town for a cross country meet. Earlier, time seemed to go so slowly while she waited for the moment she would be with Jacob, and now, she couldn't believe it was time for him to be here.

Nessie felt like a new person listening to the soft music playing on the radio. She thought about this day and the cathartic experience she had in the rain earlier that day...

~o~

She tried reading the book in her hands, but it became futile. The past few days had blurred together like the words on her page. Unable to concentrate on reading, she looked out the window into the green landscapes around her. The university van snaked down a two-lane highway, making its way back from her cross country meet that morning. They had made it to Olympia the night before.

She tried to fall asleep that night, but she tossed and turned until she finally drifted away at two in the morning. The five am wake up call came too early. She couldn't seem to get her body and her mind in sync that morning for her race. Nessie ended up not having the best meet either. Her ankle injury, on top of her mind being on other things, caused her to not even place and run a time she was embarrassed to admit she ran.

As she watched the clouds in the sky billow together and form the familiar gray storm clouds she was used to, she thought about her week. There was a strange comfort in the storms of the Pacific Northwest to her. The van stopped for the team of girls to take another restroom break. At that moment, the sky opened up, and the rain fell hard. The girls ran inside, trying to keep from getting wet, except for one of them.

Nessie stood out in the rain, not caring if she got soaked. To her, the water felt like a cleansing. The aftermath of the confrontation with Tyler that stayed with her was being washed away. Nessie knew her life was changing, and it felt surprisingly good. She had finally broken up with Tyler, which would start the chain of events to finally living a life she wanted. She would work hard to do the things she wanted to do, not what others made her do.

All she could think about was seeing Jacob tonight. He would be meeting her at the Brass Monkey and taking her to First Beach for a party they were throwing. The thought of him and getting to spend time with him excited her. She hadn't seen Jacob since that night—the night that changed everything for the better. Her head wound was gone; only the memory of it remained. Tonight would be a good night. She didn't even worry about missing the mandatory sorority mixer that was happening tonight. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to worry about the damn sorority business either.

One thing at a time, Ness, she said to herself. As she shivered from the cold rain, she found a blanket in her bag at the back of the van and wrapped herself in it. She couldn't care less about the stares she was getting from her teammates. If they only knew what she had been through, then they would understand. She knew their perception of her was false. She wasn't the snotty, rich girl they thought her to be. All she cared about right now, in the moment, was having Jacob's hands on her. She laughed to herself because they had no clue that she no longer cared what they thought about her...

Nessie glanced up from her thoughts when she saw Claire's figure hop out of her car. Then, from the opposite direction, she saw another figure approaching—Jacob.

~o~

Quil about jumped out of his skin when he saw Claire get out of the car with Jacob and Nessie. He tried to control himself, but it was hard. He'd gone over how he should act and things he could say to make sure she wasn't repulsed by him.

The fire was huge, and the flames lapped up into the night sky; the music was already blaring. Jacob's friends had already tapped the keg and were filling up the red, plastic cups for everyone. Paul placed one in Jacob's hand as soon as he and Nessie made their way over to the party. Claire, who wore a dress tonight, stared at Quil apprehensively. "Nessie, could I interest you in a beer?" Paul asked.

"Um, no thanks. I don't drink," she said quietly. Jacob took note of that information. Jacob felt like a million bucks tonight. He felt complete, bringing his favorite girl with him to his favorite spot with his favorite people. He took a gulp of his drink, pulled Nessie to him, and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey, everyone, this is Nessie. Nessie, this is everyone." Jacob did a blanket introduction to all his friends and their girls.

"Jake, that's horrible. We have names, you know," a dark-eyed girl exclaimed. "Hi, I'm Rachel, one of his sisters." Rachel stood from her spot on the sand and smiled a welcoming smile to Nessie.

"It's so good to meet you." Nessie saw a resemblance between Jacob and his sister, but she was tiny compared to him. She was just as sweet as he was.

"You, too. I trust my brother is being a gentleman?" She eyed her brother, and he looked embarrassed at her query.

"Always," Nessie said without hesitation.

"See, you raised me right. Now go find Paul and keep him under control." Jacob introduced Nessie to everyone and made sure she felt welcomed, which she did. He didn't want to hang out here with everyone, though. He needed to be alone with Nessie.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked.

Nessie looked at Claire. She wanted to leave with Jacob, but she wanted to make sure her friend would be all right if she did. "Yes, but let me see if Claire is okay if I leave."

Quil had gotten Claire a beer, which she refused. He did claim a small victory because she didn't totally ignore him. Claire told Nessie she would be fine and not to worry about her; she could take care of herself. Somehow the boy following her around like a puppy was beginning to wear her down. Once their conversation turned to wrestling, her dislike of him lessened.

"Okay, let's go," she ran over to him, and he gave a wave to his friends not even looking back as he walked hand and hand down the beach with his girl.

~o~

"Come on, Jacob. The water isn't that cold. Are you chicken?" she teased him.

"No, I'm just enjoying watching you out there," he told her truthfully. The wind in her hair and the light from the moon kept him motionless on the shore as he watched her. She had balled her blue dress in one of her hands, trying to keep it from getting wet. The dress had thin straps and fell to her mid calf. She wore a small shrug to keep her arms warm. From the moment he'd seen her in the dress, he'd had a problem with his hands. He wanted to touch her - everywhere.

The biggest problem he had was he couldn't keep his eyes off the place of her body where the low-cut part of her dress stopped. His eyes tried to glance down into the crevice of her cleavage that the dress seemed to accentuate.

"Please come wade in the water with me. I know you get to be here all the time, but I don't." As usual, he couldn't say no to her. He sat down to take off his socks and shoes.

"Oh, my God!" she shrieked. "Something slimy just touched me!" Her arms flailed about her and her dress dropped to the water getting the bottom wet.

Jacob started to laugh. "It was just a fish. They live in the ocean, you know." He stood up and took a few steps to the shallow water. He smiled, watching her freeze her body as if keeping still would make the fish go away.

"Ahhhhh," she screamed again and jumped around the water. "There it is again!" Nessie tried to leap out of the water and into a more shallow area, but a strong wave came in and caught her off guard. Before she knew it, the wave took all the balance she had, and she found herself falling flat on her butt in the water.

It took all of Jacob's control not to laugh. Her clumsiness was starting to be amusing. She looked at him with a clinched jaw and brooding eyes. "Don't you dare make fun of me." She slammed her hands down on the water, exasperated at herself. "I'm such an idiot," she complained.

"You're a beautiful idiot," Jacob said as he walked towards her. He wasn't prepared for the way her dress reacted to the water. It clung more tightly to her body, and her breasts were displayed more prominently; he knew he was in trouble. He could see her nipples through the wet fabric.

She wasn't wearing a bra. He wondered if she were trying to kill him.

"I don't kiss boys who call me names," she pouted jokingly.

"Well, I better quit calling you names then." She looked so vulnerable sitting there in the water.

The way she looked caused his body to tremble with want. He kept looking at her, and she didn't try to get out of the water, frozen by his stare.

He lowered himself to his knees at her side, and her look of embarrassment changed into something entirely different. He noticed her eyes first and how they studied his face. She looked confused for a split second. Then he saw her realize that he wanted to be close to her. Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout, and he wanted desperately to suck on it.

Nessie realized that Jacob intended to kiss her in the cold water. She was freezing, but once he started to look at her with his lustful gaze, she forgot about her goosebumps. She knew his body would be close to hers soon, and he would warm her in more ways than one. She surveyed his eyes, his lips, and his heaving chest. She watched as he lowered himself beside her, and she moved herself closer to him.

He then got on all fours and crawled the short distance over to her. His lips met hers gently, but his body kept pushing her backwards. She gave in to the force and found herself lying down in the cold, shallow water. The waves continued to lap over them, and the slow and steady rhythm of the water felt good. He continued to kiss her until she lay underneath his body. He lowered himself to her, straddling one of her legs. The kisses became more intense, and they found themselves soaking wet; neither one cared.

She bent her free leg, bringing it to his body, and her dress to slide down to the water. Her bare leg was within his reach, and he gladly took his hand and touched her knee as it lay by him. He felt her shudder, and his mouth found itself kissing her deeper than he ever had before. This wasn't like the kisses they had shared before. Their kisses had changed. These kisses expressed that their need for each other had become a necessity. His body and her body had to be together. If any pair of lovers had ever used a kiss to convey desire, it was Jacob and his Ness.

His hand traveled up her wet leg easily, stopping at the dress and not going any further. He was already pushing the boundaries right now, lying on top of her in the ocean. Having her breasts this close to his hands and mouth was driving him crazy. Wanting to touch her in places he hadn't caused his body such turmoil. Loving her was so easy. Restraining himself, he was finding, was the hardest thing he had to do.

Nessie forgot about her freezing body and focused on Jacob and the amazing way he felt on top of her, kissing her, touching her. She felt his hand glide along her leg, sending her nerve endings into overdrive. Those synapses seemed to bring to life the nerves all over her body, creating an intense desire to be with him. Inexperienced at all of this, she tried to be confident in her movements and her touches, but she wasn't. She knew that her hands loved his hair, so she found herself running her fingers through his short, coarse locks. The noises she let out were uncontrollable. He did things to her that she didn't quite understand, but she knew that she couldn't live without these feelings. How she'd lived her life before this man came into it, she didn't know.

Nessie's hands moved from his hair down his back. She made note of every muscle flexing as she brushed her fingers there. She found herself pulling her arms around him, wanting to move him closer. Where he lay was not close enough.

Jacob felt her tug at him, and his body responded by moving as she requested. He continued kissing her lips, swollen from his kisses, and he moved his body between her legs. She opened her legs to allow him in, and he positioned himself on top of her. His mouth left hers and began kissing her neck, just below her earlobe. Nessie lay back and let out a breath with a small moan. There were more stars out tonight than usual, and they shone just for young lovers.

She felt the hardness between her legs and welcomed the feeling that part of his body brought to her. Jacob began to move on top of her like the water drifting in and out over them. He stopped kissing her for a moment, taking in the feeling of her below him. Her thin, wet dress was almost non existent. He cursed the clothes that he still wore and wanted to rid them both of all barriers between them. He let out a low moan and brought his face to hers to look at her, wanting to see her in this moment.

He felt her shiver underneath him. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking his hand and brushing her hair off her face.

"I'm fine," she said with her lips quivering; she couldn't control it.

"Ness, you're freezing...your lips are blue."

"I'm not cold." She must be numb because she really didn't feel cold.

Jacob paused. "We need to get you out of the water and get you warm."

"No, I'm okay." Her shaking body betrayed her words.

"I don't think so, Ness." She didn't protest when he lifted her out of the water. "I'll take you to my house. It's not far, and you can get warm there."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to feel the cold. She didn't worry about their moment in the water being interrupted by her stupid, cold-blooded nature. Nessie knew she would get to be alone with him soon.

Jacob pulled her close to his warm body, hoping it would help. His body was always warm. He was thrilled to take her home because Billy was with Charlie tonight, and he could be alone with Nessie for a while.

Jacob began to crave the alone time with her. Her body, her scent, her breath was addicting. He couldn't get enough.

~o~O~o~

Let me know what you think. Push the little review button. You know you want to!


	9. Love Song

**"Whenever I'm alone with you,**

 **You make me feel like I am home again.**

 **Whenever I'm alone with you,**

 **You make me feel like I am whole again.**

 **Whenever I'm alone with you,**

 **You make me feel like I am young again.**

 **Whenever I'm alone with you,**

 **You make me feel like I am fun again."**

 _ **Love**_ _**Song**_ **by The Cure**

Jacob set her down by the fire and Nessie immediately felt warmer. The shivering wouldn't stop. She heard him discussing with the others taking her to his house, and she watched everyone relax with their significant others. A lone guitar strummed with the crackles from the fire. They all listened to Seth tinker on his guitar that he had learned to play a few months ago. He didn't have a girlfriend yet, so he spent a lot of time playing his guitar; he was getting really good. Seth entertained those couples who nuzzled closely to one another. Even though his rendition of _Stairway to Heaven_ wasn't exactly romantic, everyone enjoyed the mood it set.

Nessie saw Claire asleep on Quil's shoulder and wondered how that happened. Quil smiled a look of pride at Jacob. Quil still wasn't sure if Claire liked him, but she was touching him, even though it was in her sleep. He enjoyed the feeling of her head on his shoulder. The playboy was beginning to be tamed.

As Jacob talked with Quil about taking her to his house, Nessie listened to Seth play. It wasn't long before the music stopped, but she didn't care or really notice. The fire felt good and she looked forward to being warm at Jacob's house. In a quick moment, she saw Jacob take of his shirt; his wet, russet skin glistened in the glow. She was shocked out of her ogling when he placed the wet shirt on her chest.

"What are you doing?" Nessie asked. "Your shirt is so wet. It's making me cold."

"Um, I would rather you be a little cold than be the object of Seth's next wet dream," he whispered in her ear. She looked over at Seth and he obviously had been staring at her. She moved Jacob's shirt just enough to glance down at her body. Seth finally realized he had been discovered gawking and tried to start playing a song like he hadn't done a thing.

Nessie had no idea that her dress left nothing to the imagination once it got wet, and Seth had seen everything– hence the stopping of the music. A flush of pink washed over her cold, pale body. Embarrassed, she pulled the shirt onto her body to cover up.

"Don't be embarrassed. I can't blame him one bit. I'd be doing the same thing. Hell, I have been doing the same thing all night." He smiled an evil grin that made her heart skip a beat. Jacob was a nice guy, but she knew underneath there was a bad-boy persona that she couldn't wait to get to know.

Jacob took her hand and walked her to his car. They left their friends and planned on meeting Quil and Claire later on. Jacob made sure that Quil gave Nessie and him some alone time. Now that Quil was "in love", the nosiness lessened, and he gave Jacob the space he needed. Nessie folded her arms together to try and keep herself warm. She should have know that Jacob would notice, pick her up, and pull her closely to his bare chest.

Jacob's house looked exactly how she pictured it. It wasn't big and it seemed just right. She felt at home as soon as she stepped foot in the modest kitchen. She glanced around and could tell that two men lived here even though a few feminine touches were scattered around the house. She had heard Jacob talk about his sisters and dad, but she didn't remember him mentioning his mom.

"I'll be right back. I think Rachel has some clothes stashed here. She pretty much lives with Paul, so I don't think she'll mind you using her clothes. I'd give you mine, but I think they'd swallow you up," he said smiling. He disappeared in a room and came back with a pair of cotton pajama pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a towel.

"Are these okay?" he asked.

"Yea, they're great." Nessie reached out and took the clothes.

Jacob felt nervous, which was unusual for him. "Um, the bathroom is right there." He pointed at an open door.

"I'll be right back," she said and walked into the bathroom. She had almost shut the door when a hand stopped her. Jacob stuck his head in the small room.

"I need to do something first."

"Oh, sure." She moved out of the way away from the door, thinking he wanted something from the bathroom.

"Where are you going. It's hard to kiss you when you are over there," he said holding out his hand to her.

She smiled, letting him take her hand and pull her to him. Jacob stared at her for a short moment, letting his eyes take in the beauty of her face—blue lips and all. He then gave her a short but passionate kiss as the two of them stood in the doorway of the quiet house.

"All right. We've got to get out of these wet clothes before we both get sick. Get out of here," she said as she pushed Jacob out of the doorway. He pretended she pushed him hard and stumbled away from her laughing.

"You are such a dork," she said as she shut the door.

It took a few moments for Nessie to gather her thoughts. Jacob muddled her brain whenever he touched her and she became an even bigger mess whenever he kissed her. She let her wet dress fall to the floor and found the towel Jacob had set with Rachel's clothes. The ocean was so cold that it had chilled her to the bone. Being close to Jacob's body became the only way she stayed remotely warm. She was thankful that after they left the bon fire, he got her to his car quickly and blasted the heater. She noticed he sweated from the heat in the car, but he didn't complain one bit.

She had to get completely naked, which felt weird doing so in Jacob's house. How she wanted him to be the one to see her this way, but she still was very self-conscious about herself. She used the towel to dry her cold, wet body. Nessie tried to be quick in getting herself ready because she wanted to get dressed as fast as she could.

Jacob picked out warm clothes that were very much like her own, only smaller. Rachel's clothes fit tightly, but she couldn't complain. At least she wasn't shivering anymore. His sisters were little, which surprised her because Jacob was so big. She hung the towel over the side of the bathtub and ran her fingers through her damp, tangly hair. She thought she looked horrible with her pale skin, which seemed even more pallid accentuated by her blue lips. She thought it funny that her skin contrasted so much with Jacob's. Although opposites in so many ways, she knew they belonged together.

Finally feeling warm in Rachel's clothes, she emerged from the bathroom. Jacob hadn't finished getting dressed yet, so she took her wet clothes and looked around for the laundry room. Nessie didn't need to come home in the clothes she now wore, and her dress desperately needed a good washing before anyone saw it and asked about it. Her whole family thought she was at the sorority mixer on campus. Alice made a big deal about it over the phone. Nessie needed to keep her Jacob a secret a little while longer.

The washer and dryer were in a small room at the rear of the house. She made herself at home. She put her salty, wet clothes in the wash; even her undergarments were soaked. Nessie tried to retrieve the laundry detergent that rested on the shelf above washing machine, but it was out of reach.

Knowing that Nessie was undressing in his bathroom was enough to cause Jacob's mind to start thinking of her in inappropriate ways. He loved how he got to hold her shivering body out of the water. He relished the fact that the closer he held her, the less she shivered. His body kept her warm. He enjoyed knowing that. He breathed in and out and had to think of non-sexual things in order to not be obviously turned on when he left his room. A few minutes of thinking about mundane things like work, doctor's visits, etc., his body had calmed down.

He found the bathroom empty and darted his eyes around the house searching for her. He heard noises coming from the back of the house and headed in that direction. Jacob saw Nessie reaching for the bottle of detergent that he kept on a high shelf. He was thankful for the view. Her body stretched itself out and her perfect figure became apparent to him. Watching her made him want to touch her body. His obsession with her was becoming addicting.

"Having trouble?" Jacob's voice called. For a moment she looked startled, but then she turned to him placing one of her hands on her hip.

"There must be a tall person in this house," she said. Nessie noticed that Jacob had dressed in a pair of long, gray athletic shorts that had La Push written on them. She also saw the number eighteen underneath a wolf mascot. He had put on a generic white undershirt that hugged his body. Nessie enjoyed the sight, although she would enjoy him without the shirt altogether.

She shut the lid to the washing machine, and he came up behind her and rested his body there. He didn't move her over or make his way around her. He just stood with his body touching hers, his chest to her back, while he reached for the detergent. She took the bottle from his hands and unscrewed the lid and began to measure the liquid. He didn't move. She felt the movements of his chest on her back from his heavy breathing.

His hands found her hips, and he pushed himself close to her. A little detergent spilled out of the lid from her body losing a little of control. She had to concentrate on how to start the washer while Jacob touched her. Feeling him behind her made her body dissolve to his touch. She didn't regret being clumsy and falling into the ocean when feeling Jacob's body next to hers- it was her reward.

Even though she finished her task, she didn't move. The washer began to get loud, but neither one noticed. She let out a sigh and rested her hands on the washer in front of her. Nessie knew she wanted them to touch Jacob but actually taking the initiative frightened her. Jacob took his hands and ran them up and down her arms. The nervousness he encountered earlier had dissipated. He confidently moved her hair to one side and bent his head down to her neck. She tilted her neck to receive him. He kissed her there tenderly and took her awkward hands in his. He wrapped his arms in front of her still kissing her soft neck. After a few moments of the sweet kisses, he spoke.

"I think you fell in the water on purpose, so you could get me here and take advantage of me," he said jokingly.

"Jacob Black, surely you jest. I think you got me soaking wet in order to get me to your house. Then _you_ got me out of my clothes, so you could take advantage of _me_ ," Nessie charged back.

"You got me," he spoke in her ear. "I have been scheming on getting you out of your clothes since I first met you." He joked, but knew the thought crossed his mind often. Their laughing ceased after he spun her around and brought their bodies close. Her back rested on the washer and her stomach could feel Jacob's body responding to their close proximity.

"That happens pretty much anytime I'm around you. You should get used to it." She blushed. He had always worn jeans, and his cotton shorts left nothing to the imagination. She could feel him hard against her stomach. Nessie looked up at him and saw his beautiful brown eyes looking at her.

"I don't mind," she said. He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her to him. She turned her head to place her ear on his chest. His heart beat loudly and quickly. She found herself calmed by the sound of the rhythmic thumping.

Jacob enjoyed the feeling of this girl in his arms. Everything about her drove him crazy– not only was she the sexiest woman he had ever seen, he loved her heart as well. Looking down into her eyes, he could picture a future of them together like this, hanging out and unable to keep their hands to themselves.

"Really?" he asked shocked.

"Yes, really." When she answered, she placed her arms around his neck. She took his lower lip and played with it between her teeth before she opened her mouth to give him an intense kiss. He gladly indulged her by returning the kiss, holding her even closer.

She withdrew to breathe. He opened his eyes to make sure she was okay. "I'm not cold anymore," she said. "You've done a good job at warming me up. Thank you."

"You are more than welcome," he whispered to her.

Unexpectedly, she began running her leg up his side. She had to feel him closer. He obliged and grabbed her leg and held it in place. _God, she feels good like this,_ he thought. Nessie moved her hips ever so slightly allowing him to feel the friction. His free hand rested on the side of her neck, cradling her jaw. He found his lips crashing into hers, and she shifted her hips against his hardness causing Jacob to kiss her deeper.

Jacob took a step back and found the wall behind him, keeping Nessie close to him. He made sure he didn't remove her from their connection. He began sliding slowly down the wall, taking Nessie with him. When he sat on the floor, he positioned her across his lap. He could feel her dampness through the thin material of their clothes; knowing he was causing her arousal made him proud. She sat directly on him feeling all of him and how big he was.

"You feel good, Jacob," she whispered in his ear after leaving his lips and nibbling his ear lobe. His body raised to hers allowing them to be chest to chest.

"Oh, you have no idea," he responded. He took his hands and stroked her back up and down. Her fingers that had gripped the back of his head moved down to his shoulders. She wanted to feel his muscles underneath her hands. Their lips returned to each other, and Nessie found her self slowly rocking her hips on Jacob. Her impulses had begun to take over. She rolled them up and down his length absorbing the shocks of pleasure being sent to the lower part of her body. She felt selfish wanting to continue the euphoric feeling and continued as she lost herself in the movements. He matched every move she made with his body. He place his hands on her hips and helped guide her. Nessie loved the way their bodies made each other feel. She moaned a little as the rubbing increased her pleasure.

Jacob knew what the phrase "hurt so good" meant. Here he sat on the floor of the laundry room with Nessie stroking him in such a private way. The feeling of her grinding against him felt great; in fact, it felt amazing. It had been a while since he had been intimate with anyone, and being here with Nessie turned him on. He didn't think he'd been so aroused with just foreplay.

With Nessie, he wanted to take his time and endure this pleasurable torture. When she let out the moan, he instinctively grabbed her hips tighter and pushed her into his hardness even more. He knew the hurt would come when they had to stop and leave him unfulfilled. He didn't care, though. Touching her was all he needed.

She left his mouth making a trail of kisses on his neck. Her breathing was heavy and labored. While she nibbled, he moved one of his hands up the curve of her hip to her breast and cupped it. He had been dying all night to be close to her, touch her here, and now he was doing it. Her breast felt soft to his touch and filled his hand. He squeezed it slightly and caressed her nipple with his thumb. His touching felt like a fire and it caused a feeling in her she couldn't contain. Unable to fight the urge, Nessie sucked hard on his neck when his finger swirled around her nipple. His rubbing intensified and he squeezed her breast a little harder. The surge of pleasure that shot through her when he did so caused her to lightly bite his neck. She stopped kissing him when she realized what she had done.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me," she said in his ear, realizing she had bitten Jacob.

Her biting him didn't register as odd; in fact, he liked the feeling. Jacob had Nessie grinding on him, her breast in his hand, and her mouth inches from his. He really couldn't care less if she wanted to bite him again. "I don't think I would object to anything you did to me," he said. "You feel so damn good."

She laid her head on his shoulder breathing heavily, still ashamed. She knew he didn't care, but the fact that she had uncontrollable urges surprised her. Nessie's embarrassment gave way to disappointment. She could feel Jacob's hands slow their exploration of her, and then his body pulled away as well.

"As much as I am enjoying this, I think we should take a break," Jacob said.

"It's not because I bit you, is it?" she asked.

He laughed a bit. "No, Ness, you are perfect and did nothing wrong. It's me who needs to calm down before I do something you don't need me to be doing." She stayed straddling him but she refrained from moving her body over him. He still was hard and it took all her self control not to continue what she was doing earlier.

"Oh," she said a little disappointed. "I am new to all this, so I am not sure what the I'm doing... I'm finding it difficult to control myself around you; I've never had this problem before," she confessed, feeling the need to explain herself.

"So you and Tyler never..." he didn't finish the sentence because he hoped the meaning would be implied.

"Never. He's been my only boyfriend." She didn't look at Jacob when she answered.

He had a feeling she was a virgin, but now he was sure. The way she moved her body with his would make him think otherwise. Jacob had been with a couple of girls, but he didn't remember feeling this way about either of them. Nessie had opened up something in him he had closed for so long.

He knew their bodies just worked well together. He couldn't explain it; it was like they were made for each other. Now knowing about her innocence, he had a big responsibility to make sure he didn't make things move too fast between them, like it did here on his laundry room floor. He realized his urges got the better of him and she deserved for him to control himself. He didn't know Nessie was wishing that he wouldn't be so damn chivalrous when it came to her.

"So what do we do now?" she asked him. The majority of their time together was spent in passion, so doing something else seemed strange.

"Talk, I guess," he said a little sarcastically.

"Talk?" she asked not sure if he were being serious.

"Sure, why not?" he said wrapping his arms around her waist. She put her arms around his neck, but neither one moved from where they sat. Neither one wanted to separate.

"Okay...so what do we talk about?" she asked.

Jacob thought for a moment. "I have a question. Where did Renesmee come from?"

"How do you know my name? I don't usually broadcast it "

"I had to look up your number and that's the name listed," he explained.

"I'm so embarrassed." Nessie laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Why? It's a beautiful name. Where does it come from?" he asked genuinely interested.

She lifted up her head and nervously played with the ends of her hair. "It's a combination of my grandmothers' names-Renee and Esme. My mom had the crazy idea to put them together. My middle name is the same. Carlie after my grandfathers."

"I think it's great. I like family names, and your mom made sure you were unique. So...what are your grandfather's names. I have to know now."

"Carlisle and Charlie."

"Renesmee Carlie. It fits you." He smiled and touched her hands. "Which one is the doctor who helped you the day we met?"

"Grandpa Carlisle. He and my father are both doctors."

"Doctors, huh?" Jacob felt a little intimidated by the pedigree of her family. His family came from a long line of blue-collar workers. No one had even taken a college class. "Are you close to your grandparents, since you were named after them and all?" he asked.

"Yes and no. I see my father's parents the most, Esme and Carlisle. Grandma Renee lives in Florida, and I don't know about my Grandpa Charlie. My parents had a falling out with him a long time ago." Nessie seemed sad revealing some of her family's problems. Her hands began twisting his shirt without really knowing she was doing it.

"I'm sorry about that." He watched her hands wring his shirt. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Okay, enough about me." She needed to change the subject. "So...tell me something about you. Tell me about your mom and dad."

"My dad and I live here, as you can probably tell. Not a lot of feminine touches around."

"Where's your mom?" Nessie asked innocently. Jacob held back a little. He hadn't talked about his mom in a long time.

Jacob tried to act like men were supposed to act, making sure he didn't cry. He cleared his throat and tried to muster up the courage to talk about his mom. Even though she had been gone for a while, it still hurt, and it wasn't a pleasant topic of conversation for him.

"She died a few years ago in a car wreck. Drunk driver." Now Jacob was the one grabbing Nessie's shirt, trying to keep it together. Nessie's heart immediately sank and hurt for him. She had lost her mom, but her mom was still alive. Her hand found his face, and she placed it on his cheek. She wished she could let him feel how sorry she was for his loss and how much she wished he didn't suffer.

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine..." Somehow she could imagine. She felt sadness for Jacob; it seemed similar to the feeling she had for her mom. She wondered if losing a mom to drinking felt similar to losing a mom in a car accident. One big difference was clear—his mom could never come back. She didn't know if hers ever would.

"It's still rough for me at times. My dad got real bad, though. The only thing he could do after her death was drink. I took care of myself for a couple of years because he was drunk all the time."

Nessie sat up straight and listened to his story. Jacob's father was an alcoholic. She didn't realize how much in common they did have.

"Is he still...does he still drink?" Nessie asked.

"No. He's been sober for two years now. He had to hit rock bottom before he got help."

"And what was that?"

"His boating accident. He tried to fish, but being drunk off his ass and trying to drive a boat didn't mix. He spent months in the hospital. He finally realized that he needed to get well for my sisters and me. AA helped, too. His sponsor is almost a second father to me—has been for most of my life." Jacob never talked about his dad's illness in front of anyone, not even his friends.

Jacob looked at Nessie to see how she was taking the news he had revealed to her; he was unsure if he were scaring her away by confessing a part of his life of which he wasn't proud. Instead of a shocked looked, he found his Nessie with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Don't cry, Ness. I won't talk about it anymore if it's upsetting you." He hated to see her upset.

"No, it's okay. I thought I had cried all the tears I could." She took both palms of her hands and wiped away the tears on her face.

"Talk to me about it. Tell me why you're crying." Jacob wanted to be the one she could come to when she hurt. He wanted to be her shoulder to cry on.

She let out a nervous laugh and turned her head to look at the floor. She had not talked about her mom with anyone other than her Uncle Jasper. No one else knew her heart ache and her struggles. Nessie felt safe here on the floor of the laundry room. She felt his arms pull her to him closer to his chest. She laid her head down.

"It's okay, Ness. If you don't want to say anything, you don't have to," his voice sounded so comforting, so inviting. She wanted to let him know everything, but she was at a loss on how to begin. She decided to give it a try.

"My mom's probably passed out drunk right now. She's been that way for a long time." Her tears started again. "I've never said anything to anyone other than my uncle about this."

"I'm so sorry. God, I know how bad it feels," he pulled her tighter.

"She's not going to get better, Jacob. I just don't see it happening. My family is really screwed up. That's a whole other story." She let out a deep breath and let the rhythm of his heart beat soothe her.

"Well, I can't make it better, but just know I am here for you. Anytime you need to talk, I am here. I know what you're going through." He began to rock her in his arms. Something she realized he was doing again; he had been there after the Tyler debacle doing the exact same thing . "She'll come back to you, Ness. She's not going to leave you. I am sure she loves you so much, she is just so sick right now that she doesn't know what to do," he said. She almost believed him.

Nessie let out an uncontrolled breath and held back a sob. She couldn't let herself go right now. She had already revealed more about herself in a few minutes to Jacob than she had with anyone in years.

Jacob's hand stroked her hair, and they sat quietly holding tightly to one another. They were startled when they heard someone in the house with them.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," a man's voice said.

Jacob lifted his head to see who could possibly be interfering on this moment between Nessie and him.

"Dad? What are you doing back so early? I didn't expect you back for another couple of hours."

"Oh, I got tired of watching the game that was a blow out, so I wanted to come home and go to bed," Billy said. He wheeled his chair over to the door of the laundry room. Nessie, obviously embarrassed, removed herself from Jacob and stood. Jacob did the same.

Billy looked at Nessie and grinned. She saw where Jacob got his smile. "So, you must be Renesmee," he asked.

Nessie was taken aback by his use of her name. Jacob must have let his dad know.

"Dad, how did you know her name was Renesmee? I've never mentioned that one to you." Jacob couldn't understand how his father would know to call her Renesmee. Nessie felt a little confused, not sure of what to do.

"Um," Billy had no answer and was desperately trying to find one. "You must have mentioned it to me. Why would I know it otherwise?...Hey, son, go get my wallet from Charlie's truck, please. I think I left it in there," Billy said quickly to avert the attention from the name flub. "Hurry before he leaves."

Jacob did as his father asked. Billy wheeled himself to the kitchen; Nessie followed. She glanced out the window watching Jacob talk to an old man in a blue F-150. She had a serious case of deja-vu looking out the window. Something about the scene in front of her felt familiar. She shook off the feeling and watched as Jacob ran back in the house, slamming the door behind him.

"He couldn't find it, Dad. He said to look in your pockets again," Jacob said out of breath.

Billy reached in his coat pocket and had a look of embarrassment on his face. "Well, what do you know? It was here the whole time."

Jacob glared at his father. Billy knew something about Nessie and was keeping it from him. Just what it was, he hadn't a clue.

~o~O~o

Little reviews make me happy :)


	10. Over My Head

**"I never knew that everything was falling through.**

 **That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue**

 **To turn and run when all I needed was the truth**

 **But that's how it's got to be.**

 **It's coming down to nothing more than apathy.**

 **I'd rather run the other way than stay and see**

 **The smoke and who's still standing when it clears."**

 _ **Over My Head (Cable Car)**_ **by The Fray**

Jacob stared at his father giving him a look that Billy remembered all too well. Billy knew he couldn't keep the secrets from his son for too much longer. His flub with calling Nessie by her full name pretty much caused the inevitable to happen. He could try to stall a little while longer, but he didn't know how long he could keep Nessie from finding out that his best friend and AA sponsor was, in fact, her estranged grandfather.

"Well, kids. It looks like it's getting late. I'm off to bed," Billy said without looking at the couple. He didn't want to talk tonight. It was a little too much for him and he needed to get out of the kitchen as quickly as possible. He had been listening for many years about the struggles Charlie had with his daughter and now the granddaughter Charlie missed so much had made her way into their lives. Fate was playing a number on him.

Once Billy left the room, Jacob and Nessie remained silent, not talking. Jacob just leaned against the kitchen table looking at the floor. Nessie didn't have a clue what was running through his head and she had no idea what to make of what just played out here in Jacob's house.

"I should go get my clothes out of the dryer," she said, not knowing what else to say or do.

"Sure. Sure," Jacob said. "Um, I'll be right back. I think there are some clothes in there already; just pile them up on the dryer." They both tried to act like nothing happened.

"Okay," Nessie answered and made her way back to the laundry room. She tofok the clothes out and transferred her dress and shrug to the dryer. She started the cycle and just leaned against the machine thinking about what must be going through Jacob's head. He seemed more preoccupied with what just happened than she did. What was she missing?

Jacob burst through the door of his father's room. Billy had just began watching a basketball game, which Jacob didn't care about. His father glanced up from the light of the TV.

"Can you tell me what the hell is going on? I overlooked the time when you spit your coffee out everywhere when I mentioned Nessie's name, but now I can't ignore you knowing her real name. I know for a fact I haven't mentioned it to you, Dad." Jacob's seriousness alarmed his father. His son was usually happy and content, but now he seemed angry.

"Son, I don't know if I can talk about it right now. It's a long story that's not mine to tell," Billy said slowly and methodically.

"I've got a girlfriend in this house who knows something's going on, and I damn well better be able to tell her more than what I'm getting from you. I like her, Dad. I don't need her leaving because of some stupid secret you won't let me in on." Jacob sat on the edge of the bed and placed his elbows on his knees and hung his head down.

Billy looked at his son. He saw a man in front of him, but he also saw the young boy who got hurt easily. He remembered the night Sarah died. He remembered Jacob never crying in front of him. He remembered the funeral and then after that, the drinking took over. This man in front of him grew up a long time ago before he needed to. He knew that Jacob could handle the simple news that Charlie was Nessie's grandfather, but he still couldn't say it out loud.

"Jake, I know you don't understand, but you'll know soon enough. I'm sorry. I have given my word and that's all I can give you." Billy turned away from his son and began watching the game.

Disgruntled, Jacob left the room without saying anything to his father. His dad could be so frustrating at times, and tonight was no exception. He found Nessie still in the laundry room facing the dryer with her eyes closed.

"Hey, there," he said finding her solace breathtaking.

She smiled before her eyes opened. "The dryer is warm. The hum of it is very calming, too. I know, I know; I'm strange. I just like being in here for some reason." She didn't move.

"I don't think you're strange. I think you look beautiful standing there. Besides, I have some fond memories in this room, so we can hang out here all you want." Jacob stood next to Nessie with his arms folded across his chest. Nessie liked the way his biceps looked in that pose. She saw him notice her staring and pink flushed across her skin. Nessie cleared her throat to get her mind back on track.

"So, I've been doing some thinking while you were talking to your dad." She turned around and leaned her back against the dryer. It was odd for them to be standing side by side and not attached to one another like they were just a short time ago. Once Billy had opened up Pandora's box, things were a little awkward between Jacob and Nessie.

"Oh, really? About what?" he asked.

"I figured out how your dad knows my real name." She looked at Jacob to see his face. "Did your dad tell you anything?" she asked.

"No. He told me it's not his story to tell and some other bull shit. What did you figure out?" Jacob felt badly that his discussion with his father ended with no more information than he had to begin with.

"It's simple. We have someone in common in our lives, Jacob. I thought he looked familiar when you were talking to him." Once she pictured the person in the truck again, it took no time for her to recognize the man she thought she would never see again.

"Who are you talking about?" Jacob asked.

"I can't believe you haven't put it together yet. I just had to think about his name and remember his face, and then I knew. Your dad's friend, Charlie..." she slowed down her talking, hoping Jacob would pick up on it.

"Charlie? What about him?" Jacob stopped to think for a moment, and after trying to figure out what she was telling him, he knew. "Holy shit, Charlie. That's your grandfather."

"Yes. He must have told your dad about me. That's why he knows my name." She looked happy at her discovery. Then her demeanor changed. "They lied to me. He's been here the whole time. They lied to me." Her look of happiness turned to anger once she spoke those words. Her hands found themselves running through her hair. She paused and let them linger on her head like she always did when she was angry.

"Who lied to you?" he asked.

"My parents did. They told me he moved away. They apparently had some sort of fight that no one talks about. My Uncle Jasper told me a few small details but not much." Nessie turned and walked to the back door. Suddenly, she stooped over and caught her stomach in her arms. Jacob winced when he heard an anguished moan come from his Ness.

She tried to keep from falling down after the pain she felt in her gut. She finally stood up and leaned against the wall away from Jacob. She couldn't look at him, or she would surely lose it. "They wouldn't let me see him anymore. I was three or four when the falling out happened." Nessie struggled to hold her tears back and succeeded. She wasn't going to crack, not yet at least. She took a deep breath and spoke to Jacob who was trying to figure out how to help her. "Has he always lived here?"

"He lived in town when he was sheriff, but he moved out to the rez once he retired. Even though he isn't a Quileute, he was like a brother and father to most of us. It was natural for him to live here since he spent most of his time on the rez. So, yeah, he never left." His words were like a knife to her heart. _He never left,_ she thought to herself.

The buzzer of the dryer went off and interrupted the conversation. Nessie immediately snapped out of her pain and pushed the painful emotions aside. She was good at compartmentalizing. "My clothes are ready. Do you mind if we don't talk about Charlie anymore?" She was surprisingly jealous of Jacob. He had been able to see her grandfather as he grew up and she had not.

"That's fine." He realized that Nessie had enough surprises for one night, so he would do whatever she needed.

"I don't know how much more my mind can handle. I have to process this a little before I can talk about it. I am so mad right now." Nessie reached down and grabbed her dress, slamming the dryer door. She stood motionless for a second in deep thought. "I probably need you to take me home pretty soon. I don't even know what time it is."

"I can do that. You can change here or in the bathroom; I'll wait for you." He started to leave the room, but ran into her body when he did. She kept her clothes balled up in her arms, and his hands stayed at his side. The awkwardness remained.

"No, don't leave. I don't want to be alone." She said not looking at him and blushed at what she was about to ask. "You can turn your back. Is that alright with you? I just don't want you to go."

"Okay, I'll turn my back...you know you're trusting me with something that I am not sure I can control," he said halfway joking.

She shut the door to the laundry room, and he faced the back door. "And what would that be?" she innocently asked as she began taking off her shirt.

"My will power. You're trusting that I won't peek." He didn't have to turn his head to peek because he discovered her reflection in the window of the back door. _Dammit_ , he thought. Jacob tried to look at the wall, but his eyes were tempted too much.

"I'll hurry so you won't be worrying about it for too long. It's no big deal. I am just changing clothes," she said nonchalantly.

Jacob realized that she had no idea how the male mind worked. If only she knew the things he thought about, she would slap him and dress somewhere else. His mind quickly flashed pictures of her on the washing machine stripped of her clothes and her skin flushed with pink. Her eyes closed with her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He pictured himself moving in and out of her while he listened to her moan his name. How he would love to hear his name leave her lips like that. Those are the things he thought about, and she thought she was just undressing.

The reflection revealed her back to him as she folded the shirt she had just worn. Her skin was the purest of complexions without a flaw. He watched her shoulders slide up and down as she undressed. He stared at the reflection of her body, and his eyes trailed down to the small of her back. The pajama pants hung low on her hips which revealed the very top of her rear end. He imagined his hands there cupping her ass, pulling it to him. He wondered how her skin would taste. If only her could just take a little sample.

Lost in his own lustful thoughts, he noticed that she turned to place her folded shirt on the washer, which would give him a good view of her upper body. For a split second, he anticipated the glorious sight and became excited about the show he'd be getting. However, he soon realized what he was doing. He quickly closed his eyes, knowing he would kill himself later for not taking a peek. He wanted her to be ready to show herself to him. He would definitely be taking a long, cold shower tonight.

Jacob decided that keeping his eyes closed until all was clear would be his best option. He could hear her rustling about getting her clothes on. Then he heard her say, "Could you zip me up, Jacob?" He was amazed at his will power while she dressed, but then she had to go and ask that question.

"Yeah, sure," he said. She didn't move, waiting for him. He placed one hand on her lower hip and gathered a little material in his grip and began moving the zipper up slowly with the other hand. Every male instinct in him wanted to throw the dress to the floor and take her, but somehow he managed to make the zipper go up. He watched her smooth skin disappear under the material as he did. He got a small glimpse of the top of the black, lacy panties she wore. He paused and stared for a moment. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to ignore the throbbing in his pants. He finally finished zipping the dress after using all the self-control he had to keep her clothes on. He took her shoulders in his large hands and started kneading her muscles gently.

"Mmmm. That feels good," she said.

"You feel good." Jacob stopped and embraced her from behind and pulled her to him. He held her tightly and placed his cheek next to hers.

"I know you don't want to talk anymore about Charlie, but I'm ready when you are," he whispered as he held her. The desire for her had risen in him tonight, but he knew now wasn't the time to try and do those things he pictured earlier.

"Thanks. Don't say anything to your dad yet either. I don't know what the next step is. I have so many thoughts floating through my brain. I just need some time to process it." She requested knowing he would honor it.

"I won't...I think I need to get you home. We might need to go save Claire from Quil, too. No telling what he's been doing to annoy her." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so." She seemed sad.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I just don't want to leave. It's like I'm in a bubble here. Once I walk out through that door, I have to go back to it all. I just don't want to leave. I sound like a little kid." She felt awful that their time together became an impromptu counseling session for her. She just wished she could be with Jacob without any of her life seeping into their relationship.

"Hey, you can call me or text me anytime. I'll be over in a second if you need me. You shouldn't worry, okay?" She loved his optimism and how he always saw the bright side of things. That is why he made her feel so good to be around him. She felt like all was right with the world when she had him close to her.

Nessie didn't want him to worry about her, so she smiled and let her self appear to be happy. "That's why I keep you around, Jacob. You make me feel like everything is going to be alright."

"It is, Ness. Just not all at once though. You just have to take it one day at a time. If you look too far ahead, it'll seem bad. If you focus on the day you are in, things don't seem so daunting." Jacob's words comforted her more than he knew. Before they could say anything else, his phone rang. He talked for just a moment to whomever had called and didn't say much either.

"We need to go get Claire...apparently she's had enough of Quil for one night. She hasn't killed him yet, which is a good sign, though," Jacob laughed.

"Claire seems tough on the outside, but I know she'll come around. Just don't let Quil give up on her."

"Oh, I don't see that happening anytime soon." Jacob gave her the smirk that made her knees go weak. Luckily they didn't buckle, and she remained upright.

The two left to go rescue Claire. He opened the front door for her and she felt her stomach tighten the moment she stepped outside of Jacob's house. She had to go back to reality and it didn't feel good.

~o~O~o~

The phone on her bed-side table buzzed and Nessie rolled over to grab it. Who could be calling so early?

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

"She's on her way...just warning ya, String Bean."

"Jaz, who is on her way?" Nessie should have known, but the alarm clock read 7:00, and her mind wasn't functioning properly. She had made it home not but a few hours ago from her night with Jacob.

"You better wake up. Alice is pissed and on her way." Jasper's voice gave the warning and before their conversation ended, her door flew open.

"I think she's already here. Gotta go," Nessie whispered and sat up in her bed trying to deal with the shock of the overhead light and Alice's sudden arrival.

Alice walked over to Nessie's closet and took off the red dress that was hanging on the back of the door.

"Did I waste my time and money on this dress? Did I spend two weeks of my precious time finding the perfect dress for the damn mixer for you to blow it off? Did I shell out more money that I should have when you are about to be asked to join my sorority?" Alice took the dress off the hanger and threw it to the floor. "I had to do all this by myself, seeing as Rose lives in Seattle and can't get away, which I think she could stand to take a break every now and then and visit her niece," Alice huffed under her breath. Nessie was a little scared of Alice right now. She had never gone against anything her aunt had ever planned for her and now Nessie was a no-show at the important sorority party. Nessie still sat speechless.

"I can't believe you. I can't believe you didn't show up. You didn't even call anyone to let them know." Alice moved to a chair in Nessie's room a flung herself on it. "I get a call at midnight from the President of the Deltas wondering where you were. She thought something happened to you. I had to lie and tell her you had the flu. Do you know how bad this makes me look? You are my legacy. Not just my legacy but Rose's and Grandma Esme's, too. You made the Cullens look bad last night." Alice's eyes flared. The little pixie-like woman was dressed in all black and in heels at this early hour. She even had lipstick on, which Alice never left the house without.

"Aunt Alice, I'm sorry." Nessie really had no idea what she was going to say to get out of this mess.

"Sorry. All you can say is that you are sorry? I am so mad at you. This isn't like you...where were you?" Alice asked demanding an answer. She rose out of the chair and moved to the edge of Nessie's bed glaring at her with her angry eyes.

"I just didn't feel well, and I, um, spent a quiet night with my friend, Claire." She would do her best not to mention where she had been, but it would be hard.

Alice began to say something else, but at that moment, Nessie's cell phone rang again. It was her father. _Great!_ She thought. She didn't want to talk with her dad, but it would get Alice off her back. She would choose the lesser of the two evils.

"Alice, it's my dad calling. I need to take this call. Can we talk about this later?" Nessie pleaded.

"Oh, alright. Tell Edward that his timing is horrible, as usual. We are not through discussing this matter, young lady." Alice hissed and stomped out of the room. Nessie sighed a breath of relief, but it didn't last long.

"Hey, Dad. Good morning."

"Nessie, I just got the most interesting voice mail at work from Tyler." Her father began without saying hello or good morning to her. He always made sure he got down to business.

"Oh." Nessie couldn't say much more. She knew he must have found out about the break up. Leave it to Tyler to make the break up news worse than it had to be. She had been trying to find a way to tell her father herself, but evidently Tyler beat her to it.

"Is it true that you just threw all the things Tyler ever gave you in a box and told him you were done with him? He said you basically threw him out of our home, too. Please let me know why you did this to him." She felt glad, in a sense, to be on the phone with her father; she couldn't imagine having this conversation face to face.

"Dad, I can explain-" Edward cut her off. Evidently he could ask her questions, but she was not allowed to answer them.

"I don't get it, Nessie. Why would you do such a thing? We have known him and his family your entire life and you treat him this way. He's so heartbroken; I could hear it in his voice." Edward said. Nessie knew Tyler was a good actor. He knew how to play her father, and he was putty in Tyler's hands.

"Dad, I don't love him; I don't think I ever did. Don't you want me to be with someone I love?" Nessie knew her father and her mother had a whirlwind romance. Maybe he would understand her side in this story because of their relationship.

She could hear her father sigh in the phone. "I understand love more than you do, Nessie. I don't think you know what it is to be in love. I think Tyler is good for you and you should reconsider what you have done. I believe you owe him an apology."

She couldn't believe what she just heard. _An apology?_ Nessie sat quietly letting her father's words sink in. She knew her father was wrong. She knew that she was falling head over heels for Jacob, so she knew what love felt like. She realized that it would be a cold day in hell before she apologized to Tyler.

"What did you say?" she asked stunned.

"I said, you need to apologize. Maybe he'll take you back," her father said seriously.

"You don't know Tyler, Dad. You don't know the things he is capable of." _You don't have a clue that he can hurt me without batting an eyelash._ The emotional scars he left on Nessie were still there, even though the bruises and the gashes had healed.

"I know he is capable of giving you a good life and a good future. As your father, I want what is best for you. I am sure that you don't see that right now, but I know about these things."

"Daddy, please understand. I can't take him back." Her voice cracked and her body shook.

"I understand that you need some time, so I'll give that to you. Don't think that this conversation is over. We will revisit it soon. I know Tyler will be patiently waiting on you. He and I will have a long talk this afternoon over coffee," he said. Nessie heard a beeping noise over the silence.

"Um, that's my beeper, Nessie. I need to go." And with that, he hung up without a good bye.

"Bye, Daddy," Nessie said into her phone and dropped it to the floor.

~o~O~o~

Exhausted, Nessie sipped the last drop of coffee in her mug. It was barely eight o'clock in the morning and she had already argued with her aunt and her father. Really it wasn't arguing if one of the people involved in the conversation didn't get to talk. She felt like she really did have the flu; her body ached all over. She wanted to sob, scream, and throw things at the wall. Her family was getting to her and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to ask about Charlie and demand an answer to the deceit and the estrangement, but it all had been too much too fast.

Walking up the stairs after consuming a pot of coffee, she decided to turn left instead of going to her bedroom. She walked to her parent's master suite to see her mom who hadn't woken up yet. Her father worked the night shift, so she was pretty sure her mom was still sleeping off her drunken stupor. Nessie pushed the door open, trying not to make a sound. She tiptoed softly to the bed, like she did when she was a little girl. When she was younger, she would curl up next Bella. Her mom would stroke her hair and quote lines from classic novels. Bella didn't read the typical fairy tales to Nessie; instead, it was Shakespeare and Jane Austen that Bella would recite. Nessie held on to those precious memories. The more she lost her mom, she clung harder to those special times. She wanted to remember her mom as a loving mother, not as a drunk.

Nessie stopped at the side where her mom slept and observed how beautiful she appeared while she breathed in her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Her brown hair had fallen around her chin and her pink lips parted with each heavy breath. Her deep brown eyes were hidden, the part of her mom she missed the most. She used to be able to read so much from the looks from those eyes. Now they were always closed or glazed over in a drunken haze. She sat down on the floor by her mom and pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Her forehead rested on her knees. She spotted the empty bottle of tequila halfway hidden by the dust ruffle. _She_ _must_ _have_ _run_ _out_ _of_ _gin_ , Nessie thought.

"Mama, I can't take much more. I can't get Daddy to understand me and the things I want, and Aunt Alice is hounding me about the stupid sorority. I wish you were here to help me. You wouldn't want me to be in the sorority. You weren't that kind of girl, so why should I be, right? You were so strong-willed. You didn't take anything from anyone." Nessie heard her mom whimper in her sleep, and she turned around to face her. Sitting on her knees, she took her mom's hand and stroked it, feeling the bones beneath her hand. Bella had begun losing weight and had become extremely gaunt.

"I wish you could talk to Dad and get him off my back. He doesn't listen me, to what I want, but he would listen to you." Nessie looked to see if her mom could possibly be hearing any of this conversation, but Bella didn't move.

"Tyler hurt me in more ways than you could imagine, but yet, I couldn't tell Daddy. Somehow I felt like he wouldn't believe me. I wish it could be like it use to be," Nessie whispered softly. Her tears began to spill over onto the satin sheets.

"Mama, I miss you so much. I want to tell you so many things, so you can tell me what to do. That's what you're supposed to be doing. We're supposed to fight about the things I wear and the boys I date. We're supposed to shop together and plan family gatherings. I want to drink coffee with you in the morning and tell you about my day. Why can't you get better?" Nessie paused again hoping for a reaction. "Am I not worth it? Do you not love me enough to get better?" She was sobbing now and her mother didn't budge. Nessie rested her head by her mother's and kept crying.

"I miss you so much. Jacob said you would come back to me. Please come back to me. I can't lose you, Mama. I wish you could hear me."

Bella stirred a bit, as if she were waking and let out a quiet moan. "Who's Jacob?" she asked with her eyes closed.

Surprised, Nessie answered, "I guess you could say that he's my boyfriend." But there was no response from Bella. Nessie didn't know if her mom heard her response or even knew she had asked a question. Wanting to talk to her mother desperately, she decided to mention her grandfather, hoping to illicit something from her.

"I saw Grandpa Charlie today. He's friends with Jacob's dad. He looks just like I remembered him, except he has gray hair. I want to see him, Mom. I want to know what you think," Nessie said, knowing it was a long shot for her mom to answer.

Her mother didn't respond but rolled over in the bed, turning her back to her daughter.

Nessie sat and cried by her mom's side, wishing she would wake up and magically be cured. Nessie wanted to talk about Charlie and Jacob with her. But most of all, she wanted to hear her name spoken the way that only her mom could say it. _Renesmee_ rolled off her tongue so smoothly and eloquently. Bella used to never call her daughter Nessie; she would only called her by her given name. Bella had despised the nickname the family had given her beautiful daughter but was powerless to stop it, like so many other things in the Cullen household.

Nessie bent down and kissed her mom on the cheek and said, "I love you, Mama." Then, she retreated back to her room, curled up in a ball on her bed, and cried.


	11. Whatever You Like

**Whatever You Like**

"Stacks on deck  
Patrone on ice  
And we can pop bottles all night  
And baby you could have whatever you like.  
I said you could have whatever you like.

~ _Whatever You LIke_ by T.I.

Nessie sat on the edge of her bed and slid on the red, Gucci booties that Alice bought for her a few weeks ago. Since Bella was not always available, Alice had become the surrogate mom for Nessie. She always tried to buy Nessie nice things, but her niece seemed to prefer yoga pants and tennis shoes. Nessie was more like Bella than she cared to discover. Even though Alice could be pushy and controlling, Nessie welcomed her aunt taking on the motherly role—something was better than nothing.

Nessie couldn't say anything to her aunt about her overbearing behavior because Nessie was like her own daughter, the one Alice never got to have. She thought about Alice and how angry she had been about her absence at the mixer. The guilt Nessie felt made her promise her aunt that she wouldn't skip anymore sorority functions and be a happy pledge until initiation. She hope that once she became an active that Alice would step back and let Nessie do things her own way.

Nessie stood in front of her mirror checking her clothing choice. The simple short dress she picked would have to do. When Alice bought the black dress, she gushed over how good Nessie would look in it. Nessie wished she had the self-confidence in herself that her aunt had in her. She would get to be with Jacob tonight, and she wanted to look good for him. It killed her that she hadn't seen much of him lately.

She popped her lips together after applying her favorite rose-colored lipstick and took one last glance at herself. She trembled as chills rippled over her body, anticipating seeing him tonight. Her body obviously didn't forget that it missed him, too.

~o~

Jacob rode into Forks on his motorcycle heading to a part of town he didn't frequent. His night life consisted of hanging out with his buddies either on the rez or at The Brass Monkey. He wasn't thrilled to be heading to Edge, the club by the university where the students frequented. Knowing Nessie would be there became the only reason he drove to the other side of the tracks.

He hadn't been able to see her much over the past few weeks because of problems at her house. They would have quick moments together in between her classes but nothing significant. She wouldn't go into great detail, but her father, who was still angry over the breakup, made sure Nessie's social life suffered because of it. She wasn't allowed out unless it was for school or track. Tonight she could go out because the function at the club had something to do with her sorority. She continued to do the sorority thing because she didn't need anymore trouble with her family.

Jacob knew that he would not blend in very well with the crowd at Edge, but he didn't care. He paid the man at the door, who looked him up and down as his entered, and the stares of the club patrons didn't go unnoticed by him. Jacob hoped he wouldn't have to hurt anyone tonight; he hated being scrutinized by others. He knew he stuck out because of his size, but he knew his brown skin contrasted greatly with the rest of the other pale-skinned students. He headed to the bar because a beer or two would be necessary tonight. What Jacob didn't realize is that many of the stares were from the ladies wondering who the hell he was and what took him so long to get here.

Beer in hand, he walked around the club making sure he didn't make eye contact with anyone. It wasn't difficult for him to get around because people moved out of his way before it became a problem. It didn't take long for him to spot her on the dance floor. She was laughing with a group of girls while they moved around shaking their hips and dancing with wild abandon.

Jacob watched her in that moment. When they were together, she smiled and laughed a lot, but she also cried a lot, too. Her family life always had a hold on her spirit which could send her into a tailspin. He had been through heartache in life with his family, but most of it was behind him. He had learned to rise above it, deal with it, and say "fuck you" to anyone who cared to get in his way. Nessie, however, was just now going through the hard part. She hadn't yet begun to heal. He saw her dancing around and enjoyed watching her be happy, wishing it would happen more often.

Nessie spun around and immediately spotted him. Her face lit up into a smile that made Jacob's heart rate increase. That woman could do things to him that he couldn't explain. When she motioned for him to come join her, he didn't refuse. The man who didn't dance in any way shape or form actually put down his beer and walked onto a dance floor. That woman could also make him do things he normally wouldn't do, as well.

Jacob came up behind Nessie and put his arms around her waist. He bent his head down to her ear. "I've missed you," he said. She somehow managed not attacking him. Just his touch and the sound of his voice turned her on.

"I've missed you, too, Jacob." She pushed herself back into him, wanting to feel his body. She closed her eyes and relaxed in the warmness of his embrace. He made her feel so good.

"You look hot tonight," Jacob whispered in her ear. His breath tickled her.

"It's just for you," she said as she leaned her head back to look up at him. He smiled and then gave her a quick kiss. The two didn't know that their affection was being watched by others in the club. They didn't realize they were being careless with their secret romance. Being able to be close to one another like this caused them to forget that no one was supposed to know about them. Most didn't care, but one person in the crowd did. Jacob and Nessie were not aware of someone keeping a close eye on them.

Jacob never really danced before, but he would do it because he needed her next to him. She put one of her arms around his neck and moved her body into his groin. She danced naturally, and he tried to keep up with her movements. His hands rested on her hips and took pleasure in keeping her rear end moving directly on him. The two danced together on the floor to the music not worrying about any of the looks they were getting. The girls wondered how Nessie got the hot, new guy to dance with her. The guys salivated watching Tyler's sexy, ex-girlfriend and laughed at the fact that the quiet Nessie had broken up with the cocky son-of-a-bitch.

They danced to a song that was one of his favorites. It pretty much encompassed any feeling he had for this girl that he held close to him. Tonight they dance together as if they were the only ones on the dance floor. They let the beats of the music dictate the rhythm they moved with one other. Jacob's mouth made its way to her ear, and he sang the words of the song to her.

 _I want your body, need your body._

 _As long as you have me you won't need nobody,_

 _You can have whatever you like._

He meant every word he said to her. He wanted her, needed her, and would do anything for her. After he whispered in her ear, she turned keeping her body pressed to his. They assumed a slow-dance position with her arms around his neck and his around her waist. There was no space between them. He could feel her breasts crushed to his chest. She had him bend down slightly so she could whisper something back to him.

"I would like to have you, Jacob. All of you," she said. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to figure out what to do next. He meant the words he sang to her, but he didn't realize how she would react to them. On one hand, he could grant her her wish, whisk her out of the club, and take her to some private place. On the other, he could keep holding out just a little longer. Before he could respond to her, a female voice came from the loud speakers.

"Hi everyone. I'm Leslie, the president of our Delta Delta chapter." She paused for the eruption of applause from girls in the crowd. "I am here to welcome all our active Deltas and pledges here tonight. We do, however, have an ulterior motive for bringing our party out here. Every year we have some sort of stunt we play on our unsuspecting pledges, and tonight just happens to be their lucky night." Screams of girls could be heard over Leslie's announcement. Nessie looked around wondering what was happening. "So, pledges, make your way to the dance floor. It's time for you to dance, bitches," the Leslie girl yelled. Then more shrill screams erupted from girls who started to gather close to the dance floor. Ready to embarrass some pledges, they began making cat calls at the timid girls who prepared to meet their fate.

Nessie stood stunned looking at Jacob. How in the world was she going to do this? She now knew why the big sisters insisted on the pledges learn a stupid dance. They claimed it was all in fun and in the name of sisterhood. She realized why this social function was mandatory, too. Hazing was still alive and well in the Greek system. She really didn't care about being embarrassed in front of the crowd. She had to do this stunt in front of Jacob.

"Go on. I'll wait right here. I'll be fine," he coaxed. He knew she was apprehensive about doing this kind of thing. He thought it was stupid himself, but he understood why she had to do it.

"Please don't laugh, okay?" she begged. The last thing she needed was for him to make fun of her.

"I promise I won't. Now go before you have to do push ups or something," he laughed pushing her towards the group of girls.

"I would rather do push ups," she said nervously.

She reluctantly found her spot on the floor next to Jessica and Lauren. Those two were the only pledges that seemed to enjoy the attention this little performance would get them. Then the familiar dance song began, and the girls began to move. Jacob never minded watching a group of girls dance, but tonight Jacob only watched one girl... Nessie.

He kept an eye on her as she moved on the dance floor. His trance never wavered from the orbit of her hips and the curve of her rear end. He had wanted to go slow with Nessie, but she was driving him crazy, and she had no idea. His eyes darkened as he watched her. Nessie danced because she had to tonight, but the movement of her body told another story. She forced herself to make it through the motions. She had no idea that she moved to the music as if she danced like this all the time. She had no clue that when she dipped her hips down Jacob had to adjust the way he sat on the bar stool to hide how turned on he was.

She tried not looking at Jacob while she subjected herself to humiliation, but she had trouble keeping her eyes from his. The smile that always graced Jacob's face had faded. She couldn't figure out the look that had changed his disposition. With his strong brow and smoldering eyes, he looked damn sexy to her.

The music finally stopped, and many of the girls stuck around on the dance floor taking in the applause. With her hands on her hips, Lauren flipped her hair and produced a half smile basking in the attention. In contrast, Nessie made her way off the dance floor, holding her last pose just long enough to finish the dance. Leslie began to say something over the loud speaker again, but Nessie didn't hear.

She found Jacob and expected him to laugh at the dance. She thought he would rant about how stupid sorority antics were and how he couldn't believe she was going along with it all. She hated that she had to do things like this.

"I am so glad that's over," she said embarrassed and braced for his criticism.

Unexpectedly Jacob took her by the arm and only spoke these words, "Follow me."

He pulled her roughly through the club and out the front door. She tripped a couple of times in her heeled booties, but he didn't slow his pace. He never let go of her arm.

"What's going on?" Nessie asked. Jacob didn't answer. She found herself being pulled into the side alley of the building.

"Jacob-" was the last word that left her mouth before his was on hers. He pushed her against the wall of the building kissing her hard and rough. She had trouble keeping up with the pace of his kiss; her breath was taken away in the process. He grabbed her on either side of her face to be able to kiss her the way he wanted to. The way he kept imaging it. He had held back for so long; he wasn't holding back now.

His hands left her face and roamed down the sides of her body. She didn't know what to do with hers, so she kept them on his biceps, squeezing them and digging her nails into the material of his t-shirt. Nessie felt a burning inside her and knew that there was only one way to take care of it. She wanted him to satisfy her and help ease the ache she felt. So many things in her life made her feel awful; she needed him to make her feel good.

Jacob's left hand slowly slid down Nessie's hip and down the roundness of her ass. He lingered there for a moment reveling in how much he enjoyed his hand being somewhere on her that it hadn't been before. Nessie's body was perfect, and he wanted all of her so badly. His hand began it's decent down further on the back of her thigh, below the hem of her short dress. He grabbed the firmness of her leg and pulled it slowly up the side of his leg torturing himself. He had to have her closer. Once her leg reached his hip, he pushed her to him. Nessie's skirt found its way above her hips, but she didn't care. The thin panties she wore gave her access to feel him more; her aching felt his hardness. Her stomach did a flip, and her anticipation grew. Her hands soon found themselves on his neck. He would have nail marks there, too.

As he continued to barraged her with kisses, he made sure his other hand was free to roam the soft expanses of her body. It moved around her hip, grazing the flatness of her toned stomach. His thumb rubbed itself back and forth over her. His hand moved upwards, knowing where it wanted to go.

She gasped in Jacob's mouth when his thumb found her breast. It grazed her nipple until he could feel it harden beneath him. He knew someone up there looked after him because Nessie wore no bra. She arched her back pushing herself into him more. He took all of her full breast in his hand and massaged it, taking his time, and enjoying the feel of her. He savored the sigh he heard. It made him want to do things to her just to hear that noise escape her lips again. She held on tightly trying to keep up the pace of his kisses. His breathing became loud, and she swore she heard a low growl come from the back of his throat.

Jacob hadn't quit his exploration either. The same hand that had her breast moved down. He knew Nessie wanted him. She had told him so. God, he wanted her. He found her panties exposed and rubbed his hand along the front of them. He felt how warm and wet she was. He moved his hand back and forth on the silky material wanting to rip off and throw the sexy, but irritating, fabric to the ground. Instead he just enjoyed the movement of her hips to his strokes. The small moans he heard coming from her made him crave her body more.

Nessie trailed one hand down Jacob's body feeling the taut muscles that lay beneath his shirt. She pressed her hand against his chest, then his abs. She rubbed her fingers feeling the ripple of muscles that seemed to contract with her touch. As she did, she thrust her hips to him as he sent her body into a fit of pleasure. She bravely kept her hand moving downwards where it rested on the waist of his low-rise jeans. Her fingers traced around the button. His breath hitched when she rested her finger so close to his hardness. She slid her hand around his waistband, feeling his warm skin. That's when she felt him, the part of him that she had only imagined. The part of him that she needed to end the aching she felt.

Deep from within she heard a low moan come from Jacob when she made her discovery. She wanted to do so much more with Jacob leaning here against the brick wall in the darkened alley. She rubbed him through his jeans just like he was rubbing her. She thought it unfair that she was practically naked from the waist down, and he still was clothed. She wanted to undress him, or at least remove a particular item of clothing that kept them apart. She started unbuttoning his jeans.

When she began fumbling with the button, Jacob began to think about the situation he had gotten Nessie into. He started to hate himself for not controlling himself. How could he be so stupid as to bring her to a place like this and expect a girl like her to do these things here? He already felt unworthy of her, and he questioned his intentions when he wanted to make love to her in an alley. Suddenly, his kisses stopped, and he dropped his head to her ear. He gently kissed it and spoke softly.

"We can't do this here, Ness," he said dropping her leg from his hip. Nessie immediately felt the warmth of him leave and didn't like it at all. Just because he stopped didn't make her aching go away.

"Then where?" She wanted him and didn't care if it were here in this alley or back in her bedroom. Nessie just needed him.

"Nowhere. We just can't. Not now." He whispered. He sent chills down her body when he said those words, and then her blood began to boil with anger.

He let go of her leaving her feeling naked against the wall. She took her dress and pulled it down to cover herself again. She felt so confused and humiliated at the same time. Angered by his rejection, she began walking back to club. She didn't know what else to do or say. Her body ached from the disappointment and the mixed signals Jacob had given. She knew he had been with other girls. Why did he not want to be with her? She tried to walk ahead of him, so he couldn't see her face and the hurt it held. She stopped before her tears came and turned to him.

"Do you like touching me?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob questioned thinking she asked a pretty dumb question. From the first moment he was able to touch her, he loved it—craved it.

"Just answer my question." Nessie demanded with agony in her voice.

"Of course, I do. Why would you ask such a thing?" Jacob said still not knowing why she asked these questions.

"Because you stop every time we're...together. You always stop." Her arms folded across her chest because she felt her heart might jump out at any moment.

Jacob kept quiet; he didn't know how to explain to her that he didn't feel good enough for her. She was the perfect daughter of the richest and most respected family in Forks. He was just a guy from the local reservation who only stepped foot on the university grounds to cut its grass.

"See, you can't even answer me...I don't want you to stop," she confessed.

Jacob was at a loss for words with this conversation and realized he was in a no win situation here.

"I don't want to stop either, but I have to," he said.

"No, you don't have to. If the two of us want each other, then why do we have to stop ourselves? Explain that to me because I would like to know," she said raising her voice.

Jacob knew that nothing he could say would help this situation. He had upset her, and he just hoped she wouldn't be mad long. She evidently didn't like his silence.

"Oh, my God." Nessie said to herself and turned and walked a few steps away from him. "I can't believe I am sitting here trying to convince you to have sex with me," Nessie said exasperated as she had both hands in her hair, making her curls go wild around her head.

"You don't understand, Ness. Just calm down, okay?" he asked.

She looked at him like he was crazy for the words that just came out of his mouth. "Calm down? You want me to calm down. I didn't drag myself out here. I didn't initiate any of this, this...whatever it is. Don't you dare tell me to calm down when you are the one who started it." She was yelling now.

"I'm sorry, but I-," he tried to explain himself, but stopped because he knew that she didn't want to hear any of it.

She began to talk as if she were mumbling to herself. "The one person I want, doesn't want me, and the person who was all wrong for me would jump at this chance..." she said out loud to herself.

"Don't you dare bring him into this. What is going on here has nothing to do him," he looked at her with fire in his eyes. He hated Tyler and the things he did to Nessie. He could stand the thought of him having anything to do with their relationship.

"You can't do what you did to me again," she said looking up at him with a tear falling down her cheek.

 _Shit! She's crying._ Jacob knew he had messed up tonight. He just didn't realize Nessie would be this upset.

"You can't kiss me or touch me like that and stop again. You either have all of me or none of me. You can't toy with my emotions like that, Jacob. I want you too much. You already know that." She leaned against the same wall he had pressed her into earlier.

"I know you don't understand, but I promise it won't always be like this. You just have to trust me and give me some time. Can you do that?" he asked trying to pull her close to his chest. She wouldn't let him and pushed him away.

"I don't know how long I can." She walked off ahead of him. She needed to clear her head. He didn't rush to her side and gave her the space she needed.

Jacob cursed at himself underneath his breath as he followed behind her towards the club. He didn't blame Nessie for being angry. He watched her walk by a guy's silhouette standing underneath the street light. It looked as if he had been there a while and had witnessed the scene between the two of them in the alley. Jacob observed the guy approach Nessie and grab her wrist. He saw her try to pull away, but the guy held on jerking her towards his body. Jacob sped up his pace and heard the guy's voice yelling angrily at her.

"So are you fucking him?" the loud voice questioned.

Jacob moved closer and recognized Tyler as the guy touching Nessie, and his body began to tremble with anger. _No one touches Ness like that,_ he thought.

"If I am, it's none of your business, Tyler. We broke up. You're free to be with whomever you want. That's what you wanted anyway," Nessie said in an unusually calm voice. She tried to free her arm but his grip tightened when she did. "Tyler, let go."

Tyler didn't have to let go of her arm because Jacob did it for him. In fact, Tyler was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and thrown into the front wall of the club. Jacob enjoyed the sound of Tyler's back hitting the brick wall and the grunt he heard at the same time. A small group began to gather around the two of them.

Jacob's face got within an inch of Tyler's. "Don't you ever fucking touch her again. I will wipe the ground with your ass if you do. Do you understand me?" It wasn't a question. It was a demand.

"Dude, get the fuck off me. I've got a game tomorrow. I don't want to fight you. She's not worth it anyway," Tyler said, seeming to sense that Jacob could do exactly what he had threatened.

Jacob towered over Tyler and kept pushing him against the wall. Jacob watched as the jerk's face winced in pain at the force of Jacob's anger. "If she's not worth it, then you wouldn't have touched her. So don't ever do it again. You don't even deserve to lay one finger one her."

"Who the hell are you? I don't have to do anything, asshole," Tyler forced those words out of his mouth. When he called Jacob an asshole, his head scraped against the hard wall even more. Jacob felt himself tremble with rage. He felt an overpowering need to smash Tyler's face with his fist. His hand balled up ready to pounce.

"Tyler, just shut up, will ya?" called out a voice from the crowd. "We need you healthy tomorrow for State." The guy from the crowd distracted Jacob from the punch he was about to throw. He turned to see who the hell would come to this guy's rescue.

"Emmett, I didn't do shit to him. He just attacked me out of nowhere." Jacob fumed. He hated liars. Tyler found himself being brought out from the wall into the air and then slammed back into it again. The jerk moaned in pain from the impact. Jacob felt it necessary for Tyler to know that his behavior was reprehensible and he needed to be punished.

"Tell your friend the truth, and I'll let you go. You tell him the fucking truth," Jacob demanded barely audible but loud enough for Tyler to hear. Fear made Tyler's eyes grow wide as he searched the crowd for help.

Nessie watched and couldn't believe her eyes. Her old boyfriend and new one were fighting about her. She had only seen things like this in the movies and it was surreal watching it take place out here in a parking lot. Nessie despised Tyler and felt sick whenever she came close to him, but she didn't feel this was the time or place for Jacob to hurt him. She didn't need Jacob to get in trouble either.

"Dude, let him go," the Emmett guy said moving closer to the action. A murmur could be heard in the growing crowd.

"I will when he tells you why I attacked him," Jacob growled. Tyler pulled at his attacker's arm trying to remove it to no avail.

"Tyler, what did you do? You're always doing something. Just say it. You don't need to get hurt," Emmett pleaded. "I don't want to lose tomorrow." Emmett didn't care for Tyler much, but he hated losing more.

"I just touched Nessie. That's all. Now let go of me, asshole." Tyler tried to get free again, but Jacob was too strong for him.

"Jacob, let him go, please," Nessie begged. "He's the one not worth it." She walked to Jacob's side and placed her hand on Jacob's arm. "Please, Jacob. Let's just go."

Jacob looked at Nessie and his need for her overpowered the animosity he felt inside. His released his grip, but his body continued to be tense.

The big guy, Emmett, looked Jacob up and down. Jacob saw this guy, who stood almost eye to eye with him, looking at him funny.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Jacob demanded, not in the mood for any more games.

The big guy crossed his arms and flexed his biceps. A look of recognition crossed his face.

"Are you Jacob Black?" Emmett asked smiling.

"I am. Why are you asking?" Jacob thought it weird that this exchange was taking place. He wondered how this guy knew him.

Nessie watched the strange conversation taking place in front of her. Tyler had taken a quick exit and was nowhere to be seen. The question from Emmett seemed to calm down Jacob and take his focus from hurting the now absent Tyler.

"I played against you a couple of years ago in the semi-finals. Your team beat us royally," Emmett said smirking.

"You remember that?" Jacob barely remembered the playoffs because he pushed all those memories aside. His senior year was a great football year, but a horrible one for him and his family. Football became his escape, his therapy. He barely remembered the details, though. He tried to forget about the game he loved. It wasn't in the cards for him to play it, so he decided to move on with his life.

"I will never forget you taking my head and throwing me to the ground right before you ran in for a touchdown." Emmett said. He playfully punched Jacob in the arm, which made Jacob defensive. He still hadn't quite figured out this Emmett guy.

"I smashed a lot of guys heads in the ground, so I am sorry if I don't remember you," Jacob said.

"I don't expect you to. You were the stud everyone talked about back then. Where are you playing now?" Emmett asked. "I heard you got offered a shit load of full rides."

Jacob paused for a while. God, he hadn't had to think about that for a long time.

"I'm not playing," he replied dryly.

"You're kidding me? You're not playing for anyone?" Emmett seemed shock at this news. Nessie just sat and listened.

"No, I'm not...Look, man. I've got to go." He felt very uncomfortable having this conversation in front of strangers. He barely even talked about it to his best friends. Hell, he never discussed it with anyone. Jacob took Nessie's hand and left the conversation with Emmett without saying goodbye.

They walked away from the crowd that began to disperse. Jacob didn't speak and waited for her to say something, anything. She stayed quiet contemplating Jacob's life about which she seemed to know so little. Nessie never knew about his football career in high school or the scholarships. She wondered to herself why he wasn't in college right now.

"Are you okay?" he asked breaking the silence between them. After witnessing the fight between Tyler and him, she had almost forgotten that she was mad at him. They stopped after walking aimlessly through the parking lot.

"I'm fine," she said without feeling dropping her hand from his.

"Just ignore the jerk." Jacob thought Nessie's quietness had to do with what just took place with Tyler.

"Just like you did?" she shot back. She knew he needed to stand up for her, and she was thankful, but she still hurt over his rejection.

"I couldn't help myself. He was touching you, Ness. He's hurt you too much in the past; I won't let him do it again," he said. "He's lucky that I let him go." Jacob really wanted to punish the guy. He couldn't care less if Tyler couldn't play tomorrow. That was the least of his worries.

She was tired of talking to Jacob tonight and just wanted to leave. He noticed her anguish and took her hand again. Even though he had upset her, she didn't refuse the gesture. She led him to her car, and he turned her to him. She kept her eyes to the ground. If she made eye contact with him, she would surely melt and forgive him without dealing with this issue. He gripped the back of her head and brought her to him. He kissed her head and his body ached at the absence of a response from her.

"I need to go," she said softly as she pulled away from him. Doing so pained her more than anything. She needed him so badly, but he didn't want her. She couldn't make sense of it and had to leave.

He didn't know what to say to her at this moment. He knew an apology would be best, but something kept him from saying it. He wasn't used to saying he was sorry. How does a guy apologize for not having sex with his girlfriend? Aren't the roles usually reversed?

He watched as she got in her car, not acknowledging him or looking back. She buckled herself in and started the engine. He banged his hand on the trunk of her car as it drove away from him.

"Dammit," he yelled into the darkness watching her tail lights disappear into the night.


	12. Four Kicks

"You with your switchblade posse,  
I'll get my guns from the south,  
We'll take to the yard like a cockfight  
Four kicks whose strutting now."

~ _Four Kicks_ by Kings of Leon

"Dammit, Black," Sam yelled at Jacob for the umpteenth time today. "Would you quit throwing those tools around like that? I don't want to replace anymore things that you've broken. If anything breaks, it will come out of your pay check. What in the world is wrong with you anyway?" Sam had never seen Jacob so frustrated before and wished he didn't have to witness his usually happy employee act this way.

"Sorry, Sam. I'm just a little―I don't know...angry right now. I'll try to calm down," Jacob responded but wasn't too sure he could calm down.

Jacob still had a bad taste in his mouth from the other night at the club. Still angry, he wanted to fight someone. Tyler had come within inches of getting crushed by his fists, but the big guy, Emmett, distracted him. In the end, Nessie's pleading made him not hit the jerk. Would he have felt better if he had smashed Tyler's face? He didn't know; it would have been a temporary rush that would ultimately bring back the issue at hand. The deeper problem still existed. The issue with Tyler became the simplest one to address; Jacob could bust a head open easier than dealing with the emotions of his girlfriend.

Jacob's anger at Tyler compared little to the sexual tension he had been feeling lately. The way Nessie told him that she wanted "all of him" at the club almost had him reach a full release right then and there without even touching her body. The way she danced, the way she felt, and the way she sounded made his body ache in ways it had never done before. He couldn't forgive himself for the way he treated her. He took advantage of her and felt like he treated her like a whore.

The ironic thing about the situation was that she wanted him. Nessie wanted to be with Jacob, yet for some stupid, moral reason, he refrained. It boiled down to love. He loved her too damn much to fulfill her wishes in an alley of a club. He loved her in a way that he himself couldn't explain. Despite all the flaws Nessie felt she possessed, Jacob didn't see any of them. To him, she embodied perfection, flawlessness. For that reason, he became afraid that if he finally had her in the way she wanted, she would never get that moment back. He didn't want to be a regret of hers. He felt that girls like her didn't give guys like him a second glance.

She hadn't called all week, and of course being too proud, he didn't try to call her and apologize either. Jacob knew the truth behind why he didn't call―he felt afraid of what she would say. He couldn't stand the thought of Nessie telling him that he had hurt her. Acting irrational at the time would not be a valid excuse for what he had done. He had acted without thinking, but what could he do now?

He couldn't talk to any of his friends about this problem. They would laugh at him and wonder why the hell he hadn't already slept with a girl who was ready and willing. He forgot about the work he had on hand when a picture of her passion-filled face and the sound of her moan flashed in his memory.

 _Clunk. Clink. Crash._

"Jacob, I need you to put down the tools, go outside, and do something else. I don't care what it is. You need to let off some steam before you come back in this building. Shit, go run around the track a few times," Sam yelled. Sam didn't need Jacob's bad mojo in his building today because work needed to be completed. The heating unit went out in Slater Hall, and the football field needed to be prepped for the game this weekend. Sam focused on getting the job done, not the social life of his young employees.

"He just needs to get laid, Sam. That's all," Quil mocked his friend as he finished sweeping the floor before he headed out with Sam. A split second later, much to his surprise, Quil found himself on his back with Jacob on top of him. Jacob grabbed Quil's collar and pulled his face close.

"Don't fuck with me, Quil. I can't take it today. I am ready to explode, so you better not piss me off!" And with that warning, he pushed himself off Quil and stormed out of the building. Quil brushed the dirt off himself and cursed when he realized everything he had swept into the large dust pan had been emptied all over the floor again after Jacob's assault.

Jacob walked not knowing where he headed. He needed to breathe and let out this frustration that boiled inside of him. He passed the stadium and started for the woods behind the huge structure, but found himself at the fields where the football team practiced. He noticed the huge bin full of footballs and knew that none of the players would be out there for a while.

When he saw the balls, he knew just how he could blow off steam―by throwing the damn football. He needed to do something physical that came like second nature to him, and throwing the football felt as easy as breathing to him. He figured taking over the practice field would be much healthier than beating up someone.

He looked around, making sure no one was watching him, and he took a ball from the bin. Jacob found the laces and lined his fingers up with them. He gripped it tightly and launched the ball down the field. _That felt good._ One right after the other he threw them hard toward the other end zone. Each time the ball seemed to go further than the last. Finally he emptied the bin and glanced around, making sure he was still alone. He decided he needed to clean up his mess before the others noticed.

Half way down the field Jacob heard someone yell at him. "So, you decide you can come on my field and touch my things?"

" I'm sorry. I was just..." he turned around ready to apologize for trespassing but stopped short realizing he would be apologizing to Tyler.

"You were just what?" Tyler barked. He only wore his shoulder pads, and his helmet hung at his side. Tyler didn't suit up in full pads―easy practice today before the game tomorrow.

"...leaving. I'll get the balls." Jacob turned to finish cleaning up his mess before he got into too much trouble, especially with the one person he wanted to hurt the most.

" You like to take things that are mine, don't ya?" Tyler spewed when Jacob brought back a few of the footballs.

" I didn't take anything that was yours," Jacob replied, knowing about whom he was talking. "She was never yours to begin with."

"You'd like to think that, don't you? The two of you might be doing okay right now, but when Edward and Bella find out about the two of you, it's all over for your relationship, or whatever you call it. You'll go back to your sad little job and doing whatever it is your people do on that reservation of yours." Tyler had being condescending down to an art.

Jacob's fists felt hot. His arms felt like they were on fire. He wanted to show Tyler how "his people" took care of rich bastards like him. It only took a minute for him to realize he was not in the right place to beat up Tyler. Jacob needed a fight with him to be an a level playing field. Here, on Tyler's turf, the odds would be unevenly stacked in Tyler's favor. Many of his teammates would be bursting onto the field from the locker room to start practice. They would be happy to help Tyler whip his ass.

"Dude, I don't want to fight you here. I'll clean up and get out of your way," Jacob conceded.

"We can settle our little dispute in another way. What would you say to a friendly little game of renegade football tonight? Your guys against my guys. You look like you can play. Emmett couldn't shut up about you, so you must be something special. I don't know how. You're a maintenance guy for Christ's sake," Tyler words shot like daggers at Jacob. Yes, he had been a great quarterback, but he wasn't anything anymore. He was, in fact, just the yard boy.

"Na, man. I don't play anymore," Jacob said as he threw the last ball into the bin.

" I would hate for, oh, what's his name? To find out about your little love affair with my ex-girlfriend. I hear things like that aren't tolerated in the blue-collar work force around here. Although, I wouldn't know from personal experience." Tyler got Jacob's attention.

"I figured you were an ass, but even you wouldn't do that. You're messing with my livelihood, man." Jacob said.

"Oh, I can and I will. I would hate to have a conversation with Sam Uley and fill him in on the escapades between you and Nessie. I think her being a Cullen would add even more fuel to the fire," Tyler said as he picked up a football and tossed it in the air, catching it in one hand over and over again. "And, Jacob? That's your name, right? I don't give a shit about your livelihood. You messed with me, and I don't forgive easily."

"What do you want, Crowley?" Jacob hated being backed into a corner with no way out, but it looked like he was going to have to play Tyler's game.

"You know what I want, but since I can't have her now, I'll settle for kicking your ass on the football field. You show up with your guys tonight at 7:00 at the intramural fields, and I won't tell your boss who you're screwing. That is, if she even lets you touch her." Tyler added the last part to anger Jacob.

Tyler did a good job of putting Jacob in his place. He knew Jacob could beat the shit out of him, but Tyler had the upper hand when it came to his social status. He was rich, and Jacob was not. In the material world in which they lived, Tyler could get whatever he wanted. The one thing his money couldn't get him was Nessie. For some reason, she preferred the maintenance guy over him.

The last words out of Tyler's mouth were a bonus to Jacob. He could hang Nessie over Tyler's head, and he decided he had been put down enough for one afternoon. Jacob took a stab at making Tyler feel inadequate. He took two steps towards Tyler and leaned in close to him.

Jacob spoke low but loud enough for Tyler to hear.

"Here's the deal, Crowley. The point isn't if she touches me, it's when. And I bet you would like to know how she feels when she lets me touch her, wouldn't you? Let's understand one thing, she feels damn good. I know you'd give anything to hear how she sounds and reacts to being touched or how her body feels in your hands, but you can't," Jacob said through his gritted teeth. He should have stopped; Tyler had gotten the point.. "You're just angry because you have no idea how it feels for her to want you, and you can't stand the fact that she wants me." He knew Nessie didn't deserve for Tyler to know any details of their love life, but the prick had it coming. "I'll see you at seven."

Jacob left the same way he came onto the field. Leaving Tyler stunned and speechless was worth it. Now all he had to do was get the game together. If Tyler blackmailed him into playing, then Jacob could at least look forward to inflicting pain on the jerk. He could beat the shit out of his nemesis all in the name of football, and there would be no assault charges involved. Jacob dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Paul's number.

"Hey, Jake. What's up?" Paul asked.

"I need a favor," Jacob needed his buddy to rally the troops. Jacob was ready to fight, and he needed his ally, the one person who would love watching Tyler writhe in pain as much as he would.

"You know we don't do favors, bro. You need something, I'm there. It's that simple," Paul explained. In their world, the pack of brothers meant everything. There was no doubt that each of them would kill for the other. Jacob knew he didn't have to talk Paul into helping him out tonight.

"I know. I know. I just have a big request, that's all." Jacob felt selfish in asking his pack of brothers to help him tonight.

"You can't be that dumb, Jake. Just ask and it's done," Paul said, trying to get Jacob to understand that he meant what he had said.

"all right. Do you feel like beating up some rich kids tonight?" Jacob asked.

"Hell, yes. I am always up for a good fight. What made you think that would be too much to ask?" Paul responded.

"Just did. I don't ask too much for help, you know." Jacob said.

He could hear Rachel in the background. She yelled something about her brother messing up her quiet evening at home with Paul. Jacob then overheard Paul reassure his girlfriend that he would make it up to her later on. Paul began describing the way in which he would make it up to her, and Jacob had to poke out that image from his mind's eye. Jacob wished he hadn't heard that part of Rachel and Paul's conversation. A brother didn't need to hear about the private life of his sister. Jacob groaned loudly into the receiver of the phone.

" Yep, I am very familiar with you and your _I can do it by myself_ attitude," Paul snickered a bit in response.

"Since I'm asking, I need you to do a few more things for me, too," Jacob said.

"Okay...shoot."

"Get the guys and whoever else you can. Meet me at the maintenance building at fifteen till seven. I'll explain everything then." Jacob began to feel the way he did before a game―nervous, excited, scared.

"Okay. Asking your brothers to fight alongside of you is like asking us to go cliff diving with you. It's not a big deal. Is that all?" Paul asked.

"No, I need you to go by my house and get my cleats. You know the ones," Jacob declared.

"Does this mean you're playing?" Paul sounded a little too excited. He loved playing with Jacob, especially if he were able to hurt people in the process.

"Yes," was all Jacob said.

"Hell yes I'm in. I'll get the guys," Paul exclaimed. "You can count us all in."

~o~O~o~

"You haven't talked to him yet, have you?" Claire asked as she stared at Nessie across the table.

"No, I'm waiting on him to call," Nessie answered. She had met up with Claire before their last early- afternoon class to share some conversation over a cup of coffee. They had grown close, and Nessie realized she finally had a girlfriend that was real.

"You know, he does have a point," Claire said looking over her coffee cup at a confused Nessie as she took a sip.

Nessie glared at her friend. "You're my friend. Aren't you supposed to be on my side and not the boyfriend's? I thought that is how this friend thing worked."

"You're right. I am supposed to be mad at him and on your side, but real friends let each other know when they are being a little stupid, too." Claire smiled a bit.

"I'm not stupid. Just mad," Nessie pouted.

Claire sat her cup down and patted her friend's hand. "Sweetie, you are being stupid, and I mean that in the nicest way possible." Nessie smiled at Claire's honesty. "Do you love him?" Claire asked suddenly.

"I do," came Nessie's honest answer. The answer came fast without any thinking involved. She did love Jacob Black.

"Have you told him yet?" Claire asked.

"No. I haven't found the right time." Nessie lied. She felt too embarrassed to say those words to Jacob, so she kept putting it off.

"So I assume that if you love him, he probably loves you back, right?"

"I don't know. I really hope so." Nessie kept her mind from traveling to a place where Jacob didn't love her. It hurt too much to even imagine.

"It seems that the two of you have more than just a one-night-stand thing going on here, right?" Claire asked, and Nessie nodded her head. Claire continued, "Do you really expect a guy like Jacob to take his _virgin_ girlfriend and fuck her in an alley?" Luckily Claire whispered the virgin part.

Nessie sat in silence, wringing her fingers together. She hadn't looked at it that way before. She only remembered how she felt at his rejection, or what appeared to be rejection. It never crossed her mind that he thought of her well-being in that heated moment. He risked her being mad at him in order to make sure her purity remained. Nessie realized he did want her, but Jacob wanted it to happen somewhere else and not a dirty, darkened alley. "No, I haven't thought about it that way before," she said quietly.

"I just don't think you should be so mad at him. Of course he's a big fat tease and should be punished, but that's beside the point. He's a guy, and he wasn't thinking with his brain in that moment," Claire said. Nessie laughed at her comment.

"No, I could feel what he was thinking with," Nessie joked.

" Too much information. I didn't need to know _that_ ," Claire made a sick face at her friend. "You two need to tell each other how you feel first before you take that next step. You definitely have that physical connection...you just need to let the emotional part catch up. Then you can go at it like rabbits, for all I care."

Nessie sipped her coffee. "So, you must have experience with this kind of thing then?" she asked Claire.

"Me? Hell, no. I never have found anyone I liked that much." Claire had a few boyfriends, but none of those relationships lasted more than a few months. Besides, her older brothers intimidated anyone that dared to take out their baby sister, so her being serious with anyone was futile.

"What about Quil? He seems to like you." Nessie really hoped that Claire would come around and start liking the boy who fell hopelessly in love with her.

"I know. He kind of creeped me out at first, but he's becoming less annoying as I spend more time with him." Claire tried to sound like she didn't care about Quil, but Nessie could tell she was starting to like him.

"So you aren't repulsed by him anymore? I say that's progress." Nessie smiled her crooked smile while looking at her friend.

"You could say that. If he decided to ask me out again, I might not say no this time," Claire said as her olive skin turned a little pink. Nessie thought she looked beautiful the way she blushed over the mention of Quil's name. Claire never wore makeup and didn't dress very girly, but she was a knockout in the looks department.

"You know, I have inside information on Quil. I have a pretty good source, if you're interested?" Nessie smirked, hoping Claire would take notice and want to know the scoop.

Claire tried to act like she didn't care. She rifled through her backpack, pretending to look for something. "Maybe? Like what?"

"Well, I can't say too much, but..." Nessie stopped, trying to get a rise out of Claire. It worked.

"Oh, just tell me already," Claire said exasperated throwing a waded up napkin in Nessie's direction.

"Quil, who used to salivate over anyone with boobs, hasn't looked at another girl since he met you. In fact, the guys are tired of him talking about you. They wish you would hurry up and start liking him, so he can leave them alone."

"Really? He likes me that much?" Claire looked a little shocked. "I've never been one to attract guys; I mean, no one really looks twice at me. I don't look like you, so guys aren't ever interested."

"Have you looked at yourself lately? You're pretty beautiful, if my opinion matters." Nessie ignored the comment about how she looked. Nessie knew she wasn't ugly, but she didn't think much more than that about herself.

Claire's phone started playing a tune, interrupting Nessie's pep talk. "Oh shit, it's Quil. What do I say?" Claire asked acting panicked. She let the phone ring some more, afraid to pick up.

"I don't know? Hello. That would be a good start." Nessie urged her to answer the phone. Claire hesitated more. "If you don't answer, I will take the call and divulge every word we said at this table," threatened Nessie.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman, and I like you even more...Hello." Claire finally answered the phone. She stood up and leaned on her chair. "Oh, hi, Quil." She said nonchalantly and walked away from Nessie.

Nessie drank her last drop of coffee and began to clean up the mess she made. She couldn't wait to get home after cross country practice and call Jacob. It would take her swallowing her own pride to do so, but she felt she could be the first one to break the silence.

She realized over her conversation with Claire that Jacob needed to know how she felt. Nessie now understood that Jacob did want her. Being with Jacob became more than just sleeping with him; she needed to tell him she loved him. What she couldn't even explain to herself was just how much she loved him. She couldn't fathom taking a breath in this world without him being at her side. The stupid fight caused her to be apart from him for a few days; she couldn't imagine being separated from him any longer.

"What are you doing tonight?" Claire asked with a side eye looking at Nessie as she walked back to the table.

"Going home, doing homework, hopefully talking to Jacob. Why?" She sensed Claire was wanting to know more than just her schedule for the night.

Claire squeezed her hand around her phone and looked at Nessie. "Do you want to go watch a football game with me?"

"Why would I want to go do that? You know, I couldn't care less about football," Nessie said as she slung her messenger bag over her body.

"Um, Nessie, I think you might want to go to this game."

~o~O~o~


	13. Run This Town

"Life's a game but it's not fair.  
I break the rules so I don't care.  
So I keep doin' my own thing.  
Walkin' tall against the rain.  
Victory's within the mile.  
Almost there, don't give up now.  
Only thing that's on my mind,  
Is who's gonna run this town tonight?"

~ _Run This Town_ by Jay-Z and Rihanna

The sun had already set on the damp field, but a group of young men gathered there anyway. Voices could be heard murmuring but no one could see the hand in front of his face. A few moments later, a lone flood light was turned on and the field came into view. Two distinct groups formed on the field. Their shadows loomed larger than life and cast an eeriness all around them.

The game became the culmination of the battle over pride and a particular girl.

Paul fought the urge to start a fight before any of the action began. He didn't like this Tyler guy, and the fact that he messed with his best friend made him fume. He would enjoy this game tonight. He didn't care if he hurt anyone. He just wanted one good shot at the pretty boy—that's all he wanted. As much as he wanted that shot, however, he quickly decided that he would give those to Jacob. He would block the shit out of everyone just so Jacob could get a clean, hard shot at Tyler.

"So, who's shirts; who's skins?" Emmett asked, breaking his way to the front of his group. Tyler had petitioned for some of his teammates to come to his aid tonight. Emmett looked Jacob's way seeking an answer.

"They can be skins. Their kind is used to it anyway," Tyler spoke, and his intolerant comment didn't go unnoticed by the brown-skinned group huddled together.

"Dude, that's so unnecessary," Emmett said to the cocky Tyler.

Paul began to shake. His anger suddenly bubbled up and spewed out. He quickly lunged at the vile offender of his race but was stopped by Jacob. "Take it to the field, Paul. Use it for the game," Jacob's voice resonated in a low, calm manner to Paul, the way it had always done. Paul calmed down only because his friend had asked for him to.

Without missing an opportunity to show his pride, Quil jumped from behind Paul stripping the shirt from his chest. "I'll be skins. I'm fuckin' proud to be skins," Quil declared, keeping his bare, heaving chest bowed like he was ready to spring into action. Quil's defiance caused a stir within the pack. Embry followed suit. Then, one by one, their shirts found themselves strewn about on the ground.

"Bring it on, mother fucker," Paul growled.

Tyler had brought his teammates for a game. Most of them came not out of loyalty to Tyler, but for the fun of it. They thought the match would be a friendly game of football, a nice break from the stressful life of a collegiate athlete. Sometimes the pressure of winning became too much to balance solely on their shoulders. It was a good way for them to blow off steam and make the game fun again. They couldn't be less aware of what the game entailed for the other side.

The pack of brothers were there for one reason and one reason only, to make life miserable for the guy who dared to hurt Jacob. If someone messed with one of them, he had messed with all of them. Tyler didn't know that kind of brotherhood. His teammates would be faced with a rude awakening once they realized that this game was more than just fun to Jacob and his friends.

The Forks' night became darker when the rain began to fall. Jacob was last to disrobe, and he welcomed the rain. This fight would be dirty and the mud just added to the imagery of how dirty it would get. He took his shirt and folded it methodically. Every thought and action he did was a direct result of what was about to play out. His mind went from that care-free, young man to a machine, calculating every move he made and was about to make. Jacob had the uncanny ability to see the entire field in front of him. He possessed the talent for anticipation, knowing what a player was about to do before that player knew it himself. That was why he was so good. His face didn't show his emotions because his mind already fell into game mode, and he liked the fact that Tyler had pissed off his pack.

Tyler smirked, satisfied that he had them all riled up. The game wasn't fun to Tyler unless a little anger mixed in with the hatred of the opponent. It made each move, each play, and each tackle mean something. Nothing tonight would happen by chance. If someone was taken out, it wouldn't be deemed an accident. The purpose of tonight's pseudo brawl was to claim some sort of unspoken alpha rights. Tyler had his girl taken by Jacob, a huge blow to his ego.

Jacob had dealt with the jerk more than he cared to and had seen Nessie hurt as the result of Tyler's anger issues. Both men had a vendetta against the other and were ready to settle the dispute once and for all. The need for vengeance had been building for too long.

"Who has the ball first?" Emmett asked, seeming to be the one wanting to do things by the book.

"We can flip for it." Jacob said.

"Nah, let 'em have the ball first. They're our guests on the field tonight," Tyler said smugly showing some sort of false courtesy.

Jacob didn't want to let Tyler give him anything, but he'd take the ball first. It would be satisfying to score on these guys in a couple of plays and really shock them. He figured Tyler's teammates took him and his buddies as a rag-tag group of wannabes. Most of them had no clue that Jacob had led most of these guys to several state titles at La Push High School. They had played this game together since they were old enough to hold a ball. Tyler's guys had maybe played together for three years tops.

"all right, men. Let's get going. We don't have all night," said a guy that Jacob had never seen before.

"Shut up, Newton. I'll call the shots here tonight," Tyler called out.

"I'm just ready to play before we get caught. You know Coach Rasmussen gets ticked when we do shit like this, especially before game day," the Newton guy said.

"Don't be a pussy, Mike. You just make sure that you catch the ball, got it?" Tyler slapped Mike on the back and took his position behind Emmett.

"all right boys, you ready? Take it from your twenty, Black. Let's see what you boys can do," Tyler said arrogantly.

The rain began to fall a little harder causing their cleats to sink into the wet earth. Paul laughed maniacally with Embry at his side. "Em, you know what to do."

"I do, boss. Block like hell and let Jake run the show." Embry was as big as Paul but not as petulant. He was a good follower and took instructions well. Jacob gave Paul the ball and took his position behind him. Jacob glanced down the line of friends—Seth, Embry, Jared, Paul, Brady, Collin. Everyone of them dropped everything to be here for him tonight. He kept scanning until he found Quil. Quil saw Jacob look his way.

After years of playing, he knew that look from his quarterback. Run like hell and get open.

~o~O~o~

Nessie didn't want to be seen as she and Claire headed to the intramural fields. She didn't want either Jacob or Tyler knowing she was there to watch them play. The two of them had been at each others throats since the beginning, and she felt out of control in doing anything about their hatred for one other.

Tyler wanted to fight this battle with Jacob because his ego was the size of Texas and didn't like anyone getting in his way. He didn't really love Nessie; he just didn't like the fact that he lost her to someone else. More than that, he wasn't the one to break up with her; he usually was the one doing the leaving. He always had control of the relationship, and Nessie had pulled a fast one on him.

Jacob wanted to fight because of her, to defend her honor. He needed to beat the crap out of Tyler for hurting her, and secretly she wanted Jacob to cause Tyler severe pain.

"C'mon, Nessie. Let's get closer. It's too dark to stand way out here," Claire said kicking the loose gravel in the parking lot.

"I don't want them to see us. I feel weird watching this game for some reason," Nessie said as Claire scanned the area.

"Look, we can hang out by that group of trees, and they won't see us," Claire grabbed Nessie's arm. "Let's go. I want to see this game and watch Tyler get what's coming to him. I have a feeling that any tackles will have a little extra force added to them tonight," Claire said enthusiastically.

Nessie suddenly became scared for Jacob. What if he got hurt playing this stupid game? She wouldn't put it past Tyler to play dirty. Her gut felt sick like she was about to vomit. She wished this little battle of the egos would end and that Tyler would go away and leave Jacob alone.

She and Claire found a spot amongst the trees and watched the action from their hiding spot. The night was dark, but the field was not. She could see everyone clearly. Even squirrely Mike Newton could be distinguished by Nessie from where she stood. She folded her arms and leaned against one of the trees.

The action had already begun, and Nessie was afraid that Tyler and his teammates would be too much for Jacob and his friends to handle, since they played at the collegiate level and practiced everyday. She worried that the odds would be stacked against the team for whom she was cheering.

Her worries were soon squashed by the scene that took place in front of her eyes. She watched as Paul hiked the ball to Jacob, who maneuvered himself around the field with ease. He ran out of the pocket and in one swift, fluid motion, he threw the ball down the field—the ball soared about fifty yards with no problem in its perfect spiral. She had no idea to whom he threw the ball because no one was in sight in that general direction.

Then, out of the blue, came a flash of bronze skin running like lightening. Mike Newton failed miserably trying to keep up with the receiver, who turned his upper body and easily caught the ball that hit him directly in the chest. Quil made the touchdown with ease, and Nessie silently cheered. Her fears of them getting beaten were gone.

"That's my man," yelled Claire, not realizing what she had said.

Nessie cocked her head towards her friend, raising one corner of her mouth to smile. "Your man? I didn't know he was your man."

"Well, you know, like I said, he's growing on me. Watching him do shit like that is working in his favor. That shirtless thing isn't too bad either," Claire remarked. Quil had finally won her over, and Nessie couldn't be happier.

"Yea, the shirtless thing isn't bad is it?" Ness added. She had seen Jacob many times without his shirt on, and it never got old.

She continued to watch Jacob as he readied himself for defense. There was no time to celebrate the touchdown because Jacob meant business. She paid no attention at that moment to the game because Nessie couldn't stop thinking about running her fingers across his stomach. Her fingernail found its way to her mouth as she wantonly watched a half-naked Jacob in action. She wanted him so badly.

~o~O~o~

The look Tyler gave Jacob was more validation for his opponent. Tyler's mouth hung open, and the look of astonishment was priceless. Jacob inhaled a huge breath and his chest filled with air and pride. He didn't celebrate the touchdown. His next task was to make sure that Tyler couldn't get off a pass. He hoped that there might be a moment where he could personally take down the guy.

Quil made his way back from the end zone, threw the ball at Tyler, and said, "We make this shit look easy."

Quil then took his place on the line and was ready for defense. Tyler's team huddled together mumbling to themselves, trying to figure out what play to run against this underestimated team. The ease in which they scored was surprising; they would soon find out how capable they were in playing defense. Emmett took his spot across from Paul and looked a little scared at being paired up with the angry one. Jacob found his spot, never taking his eyes off Tyler.

Jacob's body couldn't sit still; he felt he would burst out of his skin. He needed to hit someone, and it needed to be soon. Emmett hiked the ball to Tyler and immediately met Paul's body with full force. Jacob dodged a couple of guys trying to block him and pushed those daring to tackle him into the muddy ground. Embry took off trailing Mike. Jacob's site honed in on Tyler whose eyes grew large seeing who ran towards him. Tyler threw the ball quickly towards the direction Mike ran, but it bounced way off onto the sidelines nowhere close to its intended receiver.

Luckily for Tyler, the play had ended before Jacob could even get to him. Jacob wanted to tackle Tyler, but a late hit was illegal, and Jacob played by the rules. That, however didn't stop his momentum from moving to Tyler. Jacob continued to run at the guy, and his shoulder made contact with Tyler's body.

The force of the bump sent Tyler back a few feet. "Hey watch it," yelled Tyler. Jacob didn't respond. The tone of Tyler's voice seemed to show that he could dish it out but couldn't take it

The intensity of the game that previously had been lost on Tyler's team was now beginning to show. Emmett was the first to speak.

"You said this would be a friendly game. It doesn't seem that way." Emmett directed his comment towards Tyler.

"Em, I need you to focus on blocking for me and not worrying about why you're here. Just play the damn game. It's not too much to ask," Tyler demanded.

Emmett let out a loud sigh and took his place on the line. Jacob was at Paul's side, taking his three-point stance. His fist sunk in the mud. Jacob ignored the water that poured off his brow from the rain. He was focused on his objective and nothing could interrupt his need to impale Tyler.

Emmett couldn't let it go and turned to Jacob. "Dude, I'm not in on whatever it is he has against you. None of us are."

"Let's just play. You guys can figure out your feelings later after we beat your asses," Paul seethed.

"C'mon, Paul. Don't talk trash to the guy. Focus," Jacob instructed.

Tyler called the play and Emmett snapped the ball. Immediately Paul collided with Emmett, and Jacob pushed his way through the line. He knew exactly where he wanted to go. Jacob saw the Mike kid running towards him getting between Tyler and himself. Jacob prepared to push him down to get him out of his way, but Embry flashed out of nowhere and blindsided the guy, making a clear path to Tyler.

Tyler pumped the ball near his shoulder looking for a receiver.

One last teammate of Tyler's attempted to tackle Jacob, but he was met with a stiff arm and found his face in the mud. Tyler pulled the ball close to his body, ready to run down the field. He turned and unexpectedly met Jacob's chest. The ball flew out from his arms. Everyone scrambled for it.

His huge body smashed into Tyler forcing him to the ground—hard. The groan Tyler made echoed happily in Jacob's ears, and everyone heard the sound of their two bodies colliding with each other. Jacob made sure he put all he had into the hit and by the way Tyler's body didn't move, assured him of that fact. Hopefully it would take Tyler a long time to get to his feet after that play.

Tyler moaned while lying underneath the six foot seven man on top of him. All the players gathered around to assess the damage of the hit. Jacob lifted himself slightly and placed his flat palm on Tyler's cheek.

"That's for the bruise on her arm. I don't think you're gonna want to to feel the one for the gash in her head." Having the wind knocked out of him caused Tyler to not be able to respond.

Jacob proceeded to take his hand and pushed Tyler's head into the mud, using it as leverage to get himself up.

"Third down, right?" Jacob asked as if he pummeled guys everyday for sport.

Tyler began moving slowly and one of his teammates tried to help him up. Tyler hit the hand of his friend away, refusing help. He spit into the mud once he was on two feet. His hand rubbed his jaw.

"Dammit! You knocked out a tooth." Tyler yelled.

Jacob and his pack laughed quietly at the site of shell-shocked Tyler. "That's the breaks of the game, man, but you should know that already." Jacob smirked. "Like I said earlier, third down?"

Jacob threw the ball to Emmett and took his place on defense hoping to have another shot at Tyler.

~o~O~o~

Nessie and Claire were soaked as they watched, but neither one cared. Watching the intense game in front of them took their minds off being cold and wet. Nessie found herself enthralled with the sport. She had never witnessed anything like it, and she had seen hundreds of football games in her lifetime.

Her eyes focused on her Jacob, the one who repeatedly kept launching the ball down the field. Each time he completed a pass, she could see Tyler becoming even more frustrated. Jacob even astonished everyone by being able to take the ball down the field himself, plowing down and hurdling anyone who dared step in his path. He made the game look easy.

She watched a play unfold through the thick blanket of rain. It didn't take a genius to see that most of Tyler's teammates worked really hard at not getting in Jacob's way, which left Tyler wide open and vulnerable for most of the plays. It didn't take long for him to get hit again and again by her Jacob.

She didn't know the score, but Nessie knew that it didn't matter. Jacob proved himself tonight. He proved that he was still a damn good quarterback and had earned the respect of Tyler and his teammates, no matter how little Tyler wanted to give it.

Tyler didn't get to his feet after the last hit from Jacob; instead he sat with his elbows resting on his bent knees. His head hung down. She watched as Jacob jogged back to his huddle. He turned towards Tyler looking for the cue that the game was still in play.

A loud whistle shot through the night air, cutting through the sound of the drops of rain. It made Tyler jerk his head to attention as well as everyone in the general vicinity.

Two men, one young and one old, dressed in similar red and white shirts, walked quickly passed the girls. The old man began yelling towards the group of men.

"What the hell do you boys think you're doing out here and on the night before the game no less. Get the hell off this field now before I personally kick each and everyone of your asses." It was Coach Rasmussen, and he didn't look happy at the sight of his players being involved in a pick-up game of football.

The young guy hung back and stopped close to the girls. Nessie recognized him as the graduate- assistant coach.

"Ms. Cullen." Coach Smith nodded in the direction of Nessie.

"Hey, Brian, I mean Coach Smith." Brian had only been a student-athlete last year, and the thought of him being a coach was funny to Nessie.

"What is going on out here? We kept getting phone calls letting us know our guys were out here," said the coach.

"It's a football game, Brian." Nessie said realizing he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. "Besides, how long have you been here?"

"Long enough. Coach Rasmussen is mad as hell. I don't want to be those boys when Monday's conditioning practice comes. They'll be running bleachers up and down the entire stadium ten times over."

He paused looking at Nessie. "I'm not going to ask why you're here, but I will ask you if you know the guys they are playing."

"I do. Why?" she asked. As she talked with Brian, she could hear yelling from the head coach. Coach Rasmussen was a transplant from somewhere in the South, and she could hear his southern drawl chewing out his players.

"That big guy can play...do you know him?" Brian took his cap and repositioned it on his head, smoothing out the brim.

"Yea. He's my..." she stopped. She debated on telling him the truth. "...he's my friend." She couldn't reveal it yet; it was too soon.

The guys, who were all wet and muddy from the battle, made their way to the direction of the parking lot led by the head coach. Tyler and his teammates were quietly sloshing through the mud looking like they were marching to their deaths, which was entirely possible with Coach Rasmussen's reputation.

Jacob and his friends followed closely behind talking amongst themselves, obviously proud of the outcome of the game tonight. Nessie watched Jacob, knowing he had no idea she came to watch him play. When his eyes found her, she inhaled the smallest of breaths. At first he looked surprised, but his face soon turned into one big smile. She returned one to him and watched as he left his friends and jogged towards her.

He stopped just a few feet from her, suddenly remembering she was mad at him. He looked at the soaked girl in front of him and immediately needed to hold her. He took a step towards her, hoping she would not turn around and leave.

She couldn't move. Jacob had her speechless as well as motionless. She forgot about being angry with him and needed to be close, but her body wouldn't move. When he came closer, her eyes widened, and she hoped he sensed her predicament.

"I'm so sorry," he said as he bridged the final space between them and pulled her to him. He had forgotten he had just played a game in the pouring rain. All he knew was that she was here and he needed to make things right.

Nessie wrapped her arms around his middle and ran them up and down his back that was smooth from the rain. "No, Jacob, I'm sorry."

All he could think about was kissing her, and he pulled her body up his to where they could look at one another eye to eye. He searched her face, looking for any objection to what he wanted to do. The only change he found in her look was her pink tongue licking her lips.

He brought his lips to hers, but before he made the contact he so desperately desired, she stopped him.

"Wait." She saw his questioning look and hoped that what she had to say would be worth stopping their kiss of reconciliation. "I love you, Jacob." A huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

He kept her in his embrace and brought her head to the crook of his neck. He tried to get his emotions under control before he spoke. He didn't want his voice to shake in the same manner the inside of his body did. Jacob had never heard anything more beautiful than her voice speaking those words. The way in which she said his name made those words sound even sweeter.

He grabbed the back of her head while holding her in place with his other arm. He kissed the top of her head that hadn't moved and then brought his kiss to her temple. His mouth lingered there and he whispered, "I love you, too, Ness. I love you so much."

She brought her head up to face him. "I know we can't promise never to be mad at one another, but I can't stand being away from you. Let's not do that again, okay?"

"I won't let it happen again. I promise." And with those words, he crashed his lips to hers and all the anger, worries, and anxiety of the week dissipated. He missed her taste so much and lost himself kissing her. Nothing felt better than having her with him.

Wrapped up in their kissing, they didn't hear someone's throat clearing, trying to get the two lover's attention. The voice had to cough loudly to interrupt the couple who forgot anyone else was near.

"Jacob Black?" the voice asked.

Jacob was angered by the intrusion but looked to see the head coach staring at him. He slowly slid Nessie down his body and placed her beside him. Jacob watched as she took a finger and delicately wiped her mouth.

"That's me, sir. I apologize for the game tonight. We meant no harm, but your quarterback is an ass and had it coming to him, though. We'll be out of here in a few minutes, so you don't have to turn us in or anything," Jacob said hoping to not get in trouble with the university. He didn't need Sam finding out and getting angry at the behavior of his employees.

"Son, I don't care that you played tonight, and I know that Tyler deserved those hits from you, which impressed the hell out of me. I just hope he's not too stunned to play tomorrow night. That's all I care about." Coach Rasmussen folded his arms and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Can you and I talk privately? That is, if you're available." He glanced over to Nessie.

"Sure. I really didn't mean any harm, sir. You can blame me if you need to..." Jacob didn't catch the meaning of the coach's request.

"No, son, I think you're misunderstanding me. I would like to talk to you about football. I've suddenly become quite interested in you and your future with my team, Jacob." Jacob stood speechless trying to switch gears in his mind. The request still didn't compute. "I can wait for you two to say goodbye." Coach Rasmussen wasn't know for being a patient man. He stayed next to the couple not taking his eyes of off them, which made Jacob and Nessie a little uncomfortable.

"Um, can I call you later?" Jacob asked as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

"Yea." Nessie's eyes glanced over to Coach Rasmussen. She didn't like him witnessing what should be a private moment with Jacob. She stood on her tiptoes to whisper to him, so no one else could hear. She wanted to ask him in a better way and didn't plan on having an audience. "Plan on coming over tomorrow night. My mom and dad are out of town," was Nessie's request. She wanted to be alone with Jacob and had planned a private date for them. Maybe she would even attempt to cook for him.

Jacob raised his eyebrows and gave her his cocky grin. "I'll be there," he said before he kissed her lips quickly and headed off to talk with the coach.

~o~O~o~


	14. You Could Change My Mind

**"But you could change my mind  
Little girl, if you wanted to  
When you look at me the way you do  
I'm easy, so damn easy.  
You look so good, and you look so fine  
Girl, you know,  
You could change my mind."**

 _ **You Could Change My Mind**_ **by Randy Rogers Band**

 _Beep! Beep! Beep!_

The smoke alarm buzzed loudly as the smoke drifted throughout the Cullen's massive kitchen. It was equipped with state of the appliances, cutlery, pots, pans, etc. Too bad Nessie couldn't cook worth a damn in a kitchen that most chefs would die for.

"Well, crap!" Nessie exclaimed as she waved the dish towel over the alarm that made the God-awful noise. As she frantically tried to get the smoke alarm to stop buzzing, the rice she had boiling in a pot began to spill over and flow out onto the gas range.

She let out a frustrated scream just as the phone rang. Hoping she could ignore the call, she glanced at the caller ID and realized she had to answer it.

It was her grandmother.

"Hello, Gran," she answered.

"Nessie. How are things without your mom and dad around? Are you eating okay?" she asked in her soft voice.

"Well, seeing as I burnt the chicken I tried to make and the rice pilaf is all over the stove top, I'm not doing too well. I am so used to your cooking, Gran. I get spoiled, you know." Nessie smiled as she spoke. The smoke alarm luckily stopped before her Grandmother Esme noticed. Gran was the best cook she knew. She would come over and cook for everyone at least once a week, whether Nessie's family was here or not. Esme would wrap and store the food in the fridge to make sure her son and granddaughter were fed. Esme knew of Bella's condition and helped in the only way she knew how.

"You tried to cook? What's the special occasion? I've only known you to eat the food, never make it," Esme said with a slight chuckle.

"I don't know. I guess I was a little bored." Lie. Big fat lie. Nessie couldn't tell her that she tried to cook for a guy who was coming over to her house with her parents out of town. Her mom and dad had only been gone for a couple of hours.

"Just look in the back of the freezer, sweetie. I stashed a couple of frozen pizzas for emergencies. I trust you know how to work the oven?" Esme began to mock her granddaughter.

"Gran, I thought you loved me."

"I do. Nessie you are good at a great many things, but cooking isn't one of them."

"Thanks. I love you, too," Nessie said sarcastically. She happened to glance at the clock and began to panic. Jacob would be here in less than thirty minutes. The kitchen was a mess, and she hadn't even gotten herself ready. "Um, Gran. I need to let you go. I better get to cleaning up this mess before it begins to get really gross," Nessie said.

"all right, I'll call you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you, too," Nessie said and hung up the phone.

She ran to the freezer and quickly tried to figure out how to cook the frozen pizza. Opening the hot oven, she carefully removed the black chicken that had met its doom when Nessie tried to bake it. The poor poultry found itself at the bottom of the trash can. She glanced around, wondering how one person could make this much of a mess. She pushed up her sleeves, grabbed the spray bottle of cleaner, and went to work.

When she finished cleaning, she ran upstairs and took a quick shower, making sure she washed her hair with the new floral scented shampoo she bought. She shaved in all the necessary places and was amazed she didn't nick herself with her razor as fast as she was going.

She twirled her hair up into her towel and found the special pair of bra and panties she picked out for the night. Nessie had an agenda, and the lacy, black thong and push-up bra hopefully would come in handy tonight. She slid on her yoga pants and pink tank top. She finished with a zip-up hoodie. Nessie didn't want to make it obvious to Jacob what her plan was, so she didn't want to over dress for the occasion.

The doorbell rang as she took the towel from her hair.

She gave herself one last glance in the mirror and fingered the curly tangles out of her hair as she ran down the stairs. Nervous butterflies found their way to her stomach as she reached for the door. Her Jacob stood on the other side, and she couldn't be happier.

Nessie's smile. That's all he saw when she opened the door. She looked as if she had just taken a shower because her hair was messy and damp. He liked it, and his mind immediately thought of her in the shower. She looked good in her casual clothes. Dressed up or down, Nessie was the sexiest woman in the world to him.

"Hey, you," she said as she welcomed him into the house.

He took a deep breath and coughed a bit. "Something smells...burnt," he said with a smile and a scrunched up face. "Should I be worried?"

'Let's just say that I'm not the best cook, but I'm an expert on frozen pizza. I put two in the oven. I hope that's okay." Her eyes looked at him with a hint of sorriness mixed and a bit of seduction. He refrained from pulling her to him and kissing her. Her brown eyes seemed to beckon him unknowingly.

"Pizza is pretty much a food group at my house. I'll eat anything." He took off his black leather jacket, and Nessie took it from him as he slipped off his boots and left them by the door. His socked feet followed Nessie into the kitchen where the smell of pizza cooking began to overpower the smell of charred meat. She placed his jacket over a bar stool and started to get dinner ready. She imagined herself being in their kitchen one day and making dinner for him every night. First she would have to learn to cook, but she could dream.

The thought of being domestic with Jacob was fun, even sexy. She had dreamt of having someone like him since she was a young girl, and like most girls, she waited for her Prince Charming. Who knew her prince rode a motorcycle and not a white horse.

Jacob watched as she moved around the kitchen, and he leaned against the counter. He took in her beauty as she clumsily took the pizzas from the oven and sliced them. He loved her body and the way it moved; he could watch it for hours. She came close to him, looking for something. He couldn't resist touching the small of her back which exposed itself when she reached for the glasses. She paused in mid reach upon feeling his hand. She turned to see him looking at her with his dark brown eyes. He took his hand and opened it onto her back and ran his hand under her clothes there. His hand made a small massaging motion which pulled her closer to him at the same time. She hurriedly put down the breakable glasses before she dropped them on the floor.

She let his mouth trail along her jaw line sending goosebumps all over her, as usual. "You smell nice." He nipped at her neck, then her ear. She closed her eyes and let out a small whimper. He took a hand and bundled her hair in it behind her head. His nose skimmed her cheek, and she could feel his breath and inhaled his musky scent. She realized that in a span of five minutes, Jacob had managed to make her a puddle of goo under his touch. Realizing he had caused her to already soak her undergarments, she tightened her thighs together, hoping it would help calm herself down. It didn't.

Nessie had to force herself away from Jacob. She needed to come to her senses and fast before she gave in. He was not to be in control tonight, like he normally was when the two of them were together. She wanted the control. Even if she had to deny him in this moment, she would have to do it. She had a plan, and she damn well better stick to it.

She gently pushed him away and didn't look at him. "I need to get our drinks, Jacob. We need to eat before the pizza gets cold," she said, pretending that the two of them weren't in the middle of a serious moment. He stood frozen, not believing she could switch gears so quickly. He wished the tightness in his pants would be able to change its mind like she did.

"So, how did your little talk go with Coach Rassmussen?" Nessie tried to change the mood in the room by bringing up the first thing that came to her mind.

"Um..." Jacob stumbled with his words as he felt his hardness twitch again. It would be a while for it to die down being this close to her. "It went well. He wants to see me in his office Monday morning to go into detail."

"Detail about what?" Nessie asked.

Jacob folded his arms and watched her pour tea over the ice cubes in the glasses. "Well, it looks as if Coach can get me a scholarship to play football. He kind of wants me on the team next year." He tried not to smile, but he did anyway. He didn't like to boast.

Nessie put the pitcher down and put her hands to her mouth. "Really? He wants to give you a _scholarship_? You could be going to school with me? That's fantastic!" She ran and gave him a huge bear hug.

"It's not set in stone yet. I have to iron out all the details with him, but it looks really promising."

"Jacob, I am so happy for you. Now you can do what you didn't get to do a few years ago," she said.

"Yeah, it's surreal. I have to pinch myself. Since my dad's accident, I haven't even thought that this could even be a possibility. I'll be a twenty-one-year-old freshman. How's that for crazy?" he said still holding her in the embrace.

"I think it sounds wonderful. You have four years of eligibility, no matter how old you are when you start. What does Billy think?" she asked curiously.

"I haven't told him yet. There's too much still up in the air that I can't tell him until it's a done deal. Besides, he was heading out to catch a game with Charlie. I didn't want to bug him." Nessie let go of his embrace when Jacob mentioned Charlie's name. "It's okay to say his name now, isn't it?" Jacob asked. "I know it's still very raw with you, but I can talk about him, can't I?"

Nessie looked at Jacob and fought the sickness in the pit of her stomach. "Sure you can talk about him. I get a little better about it every day. I'm getting to where I might want to meet him...but I am still a little nervous about it," Nessie said. Ever since she discovered her Grandpa Charlie lived close by and was like Jacob's second father, she refused to talk about the situation. She couldn't talk about Charlie or think about him until she felt she could face the truth and reach out to him on her own time.

She spun around on her heels and grabbed a tray from underneath the cabinet. She placed the plates full of pizza and the drinks on them and walked towards the living room.

"We better go eat. I'm starving," she said, hoping the awkward conversation about Charlie would go away.

Jacob followed, watching her heart-shaped butt the entire way.

~o~O~o~

They sat on the floor of the living room with him leaning against the couch. She sat perpendicular to him up against an oversized chair with her legs laying on top of his. The pizza had been devoured for a while, and Nessie felt nervous about what she was to planning on doing. She had never done anything like this before.

"Thanks for dinner," he said with a boyish grin.

"You're welcome. If you're still hungry I made some fruit salad." She reached up to the tray that sat on the coffee table and grabbed the bowl of fruit and a smaller bowl full of homemade whipped cream. "I actually made the fruit salad all by myself; my grandmother made the whipped cream."

"So that's what that is. I usually have it out of the spray can. I didn't know people made that stuff," Jacob said.

"Oh yeah, my grandmother makes everything homemade. She's practically a chef. Here. Try some. I think you'll like it way better than the stuff in the can." Nessie dipped her finger in the bowl and brought a huge dollop of it on her forefinger. She leaned close to him, bringing her finger to his mouth. Suddenly she realized that this innocent taste-test made her a little nervous and a lot turned on.

Jacob took her wrist and happily brought her finger to his mouth. His warm tongue wrapped around her finger as his lips closed around it. His eyes turned dark and never broke her stare. He licked her clean.

"Mmmm. That was good. You're right; it is better than the canned stuff." He only recalled the taste of her finger; he couldn't care less about any whipped, damn cream.

"Then you wouldn't mind a little more then?" she asked coyly. He shook his head.

She took the whipped cream, and this time, dipped two fingers in it. She left her spot on the floor and moved to Jacob, straddling him. She placed her fingers to his lips, and he licked the cream off of it. His mouth moved all over her fingers making sure his tongue tasted every inch of her slender fingers. He cupped her butt in his hands when she positioned herself on top of him. He knew she was up to something, but didn't care what it was. Nessie pulled herself close to Jacob and let herself absorb how it felt to have him near her; she wanted so much more of him. She was determined to get what she wanted, even if it meant she had to play dirty.

"Can I ask you a question?" Nessie asked looking doe-eyed at Jacob.

"Sure," he wanted to talk but was finding it difficult to do so. The feeling of her on his lap had his mind on hiatus. He no longer was thinking with the right part of his body.

"You've been with other girls, right?

"I hate to say it, but yes I have." Jacob regretted sleeping with anyone other than the woman here in front of him. He wished somehow that he could give himself to her like she would give herself to him.

"So...don't be mad at my question, okay?" She was nervous.

"You can annoy me, but it's hard to be mad at you," he said trying to make her feel comfortable. He was curious to where this questioning might lead. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and started placing gentle touches on the back of his neck.

"Why won't you be with me? Don't you want me?" Nessie couldn't understand Jacob. He said he wanted her. He acted like he did, but then he never allowed himself to go too far with her.

Stunned, Jacob had to think. How could she not know that he wanted her? He had wanted her the first time he laid eyes on her. He wanted her in the back seat of his car, on his motorcycle, in the shower, the fifty yard line, and a thousand other ways. Her realized they hadn't discussed the reasons behind their argument at the club. This was her way to bring it up. He wanted things to move slowly, but he didn't realize that he was driving Nessie crazy with all of his "being a gentleman" crap.

"Oh, baby. You know I do. I just want our first time together to be special, that's all. You've never been with anyone before, and that's just something you can't get back. I don't want you to regret..." he trailed off.

"Regret what?" she wondered.

"...being with me. I don't want you to look at me one day and regret sleeping with me."

Nessie put her hands on either side of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. "Never. I don't ever want to be with anyone else. I only want you."

He closed his eyes and placed his forehead on her shoulder and let out a deep breath. He was torn.

"If you have been with other girls, it should be easy to be with me, Jacob." She didn't fully understand his reasoning for being so chaste with her.

"Ness, I'm only going to say this once. You're different. You mean something to me-more than anyone that I ever dated. The others were just mistakes."

 _If I were so special he would want to be with me,_ she thought, wanting to tell him but couldn't.

"You've made love before. I would think that it―" Jacob cut her off.

"I want you to know that I have never made love with anyone, okay. The others were just fucks. I am so sorry to say it, but they were. Now that I have you, it's different. You're not like that. I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you, and I want it to be right. I want you to be ready," he confessed. "I love you." He ran his fingers along her collarbone.

"I love you, too, and I am so ready, Jacob. Please," she didn't like begging, but he left her and her hormones no choice.

He didn't say anything; he just breathed in and out deeply rubbing her arms with his hands.

She never left his gaze as she reached down and unzipped her hoodie and removed it from her body. He continued to watch as she grabbed the hem of her shirt. Jacob couldn't believe what he was seeing. Nessie was undressing right in front of him. She pulled her tank top over her head and discarded it to the floor. She wore a black, lacy bra that left little to the imagination. She wasn't stupid; she knew what Jacob liked. His body jerked to attention as he came face to face with her breasts. His eyes didn't leave her chest. Holy shit! The words ran over and over in his head.

"I know this isn't fair of me to be doing this do you, but you leave me no choice." Still speechless, Jacob sat and watched as Nessie lifted herself off him and then placed her hands on her hips. She slowly took down her yoga pants revealing her skin a little bit at a time. He immediately noticed the skimpy thong she wore that matched her bra. His heart rate soared through the roof and his body, which was already at attention, was aroused even more. She grabbed her hair and brushed it with her fingers and put it behind her back. She then repositioned herself across Jacob's lap.

His hands found themselves resting on the bare skin of her rear end; she could feel them trembling. Nessie was amazed that he was nervous. He knew Nessie wanted him, and his resolve was quickly fading. _Damn, she's good_.

Nessie began reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra. Jacob grabbed her hands to stop her.

"Don't," he commanded.

She felt rejected again. _He wants to stop._ She felt like crying from his rejection and her sexual frustration.

His hands rested on her shoulders and took the straps of her bra down, and they fell to her arms. "I want to take it off." And with that being said, Jacob's guard was let down, and an inner-animal was released. He started kissing her shoulder.

"You realize I'm not going to hold back, Ness," he was giving her some kind of warning. His lips then moved to her neck.

"I understand," she said with her eyes closed, anticipating what was to come. She had no idea what he meant, but she didn't care. Jacob wanted her, and that was all that mattered.

Jacob found her lips and kissed her like he did that night at the club. She began to tell the difference between his kisses. These kisses were leading to more than just heavy petting; they were leading to him finally making love to her. His hands moved down her back to the clasp of her bra. He expertly unhooked it. She let her bra fall forward and threw to the floor.

Jacob stopped and stared, feeling like he was a thirteen-year-old boy again looking at his first _Playboy._ He was mesmerized by milky-white skin of her full breasts. She was beautiful.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. There is a God," Jacob said reverently. Nessie smiled and was pleased he liked what he saw. No one else had seen her like this. He slowly took his hand and cupped one of her breasts, taking his time feeling her cool skin for the first time. His palm ran back and forth around her pink nipple, sending any rational thought out of his head. Then his head found itself resting on her shoulder again, overwhelmed by how she felt and how this girl would want him in this way. Her body responded to his caress, and he heard her sigh as he continued to touch her. He pulled her to him and took her lips with his, parting them with his tongue. The feelings he had bottled up for so long were now pouring out of him. The floodgates had opened.

It didn't take long for his mind to catch up with what his body was thinking. He scooped her up, keeping her legs wrapped around his middle.

"Where's your―" Jacob started to ask a question Nessie had anticipated.

"Upstairs. Second door on the right." She gave him the directions to her bedroom. No other man besides her father and uncle had ever been in there before. No one else had shared her bed. She loved Jacob more than she could reason. Nessie wanted him always.

Jacob wasn't beating himself up for giving in. He knew it would happen sooner or later, but he just didn't realize that his innocent Nessie would practically seduce him the way she did. He found her to be irresistible. After looking at her body, he knew he wanted to devour her. Jacob had wanted her for so long. As he carried her up the stairs kissing her, he wondered how he had lasted this long.

He pushed open her door and was somehow turned on being in her room. There was something forbidden and sensual about the feminine décor and the place where she dressed, slept, and dreamed. He inhaled the scent that was unmistakably Nessie from the room and set her down on the edge of her bed. They spoke no words; they used only their eyes.

Nessie watched as he reached to his back and lifted his shirt over his head from behind. She stared at his abs and how they contracted when he took off his shirt. She leaned back on her arms, enjoying the show. He unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his muscular legs. He kept his boxer shorts on, but she could see his erection through them and had never seen anything like it. He noticed her looking and quickly found his body close to hers again. He kneeled down on the floor, positioning himself between her legs.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Ness?" He didn't know what he would do if she said no, but he needed to hear her say that she wanted him one more time.

"Yes," she said and shivered. She placed her hands in his hair and continued to run them down his neck and shoulders. He reached his mouth up towards hers and slowly lifted himself off the floor. He moved her backwards onto the bed never leaving her kisses. She leaned back and scooted herself to her pillows.

She opened her legs to let him lay between them. He positioned himself gently on her, and both of them relaxed when their bare skin touched each other for the first time, knowing this was meant to be. The heat from both their bodies molded together. She felt the hardness of him on her thigh and moved her hips to feel him closer to her. He leaned on his arms on either side of her head, and her hands gripped his flexed biceps. Her nails dug into his skin when he placed himself at her entrance. Her hips bucked pushing him onto her causing them to moan in unison.

He nipped at her lips a little while longer. He became torn between needing to stay where he was making himself feel the pleasure of her wetness or exploring her body and letting her experience the gratification he could give her. He reluctantly left her lips but happily engulfed her breast with his hand again, taking his time exploring every part of it. He found her nipple and rubbed around it, feeling how it changed textures underneath his fingers. Her other breast found itself assaulted by his mouth. He almost exploded just by having his lips nibbling and sucking on her nipple.

Nessie's senses, heightened by his every touch, started a reaction in her body that felt unfamiliar but so natural. Her insides were tightening all around, and she knew she needed something more to make the pleasure continue. She felt wonderfully frustrated and her high-pitched sigh gave Jacob the green light to continue what he was doing.

He told her that he wasn't going to hold back but he had to. He had to hold back a little because no matter how special this night would be, he knew that he was going to hurt her. This was her first time and her pain would be the necessary evil he had been dreading. He would try to make her pleasure the focus for tonight.

His slid his body off hers to the side but stayed close to her, not losing contact. Her eyes opened, not liking his new position. She felt too vulnerable without his body on hers.

"It's okay, baby. Just lay back. Relax." She took a deep breath, and it hitched when she felt his hand on her stomach. He used his finger to follow the line her muscles formed there. He continued tracing it down to the waist of her lacy panties. He hooked his finger underneath them, pulling them down. She lifted her hips to help him discard them. They flew somewhere across her room.

He took his hand and helped open her legs for him, and her body moved ready for whatever he had planned. Jacob reveled in her beauty and sensuality. He appreciated being the one who got to touch and feel her. He took his fingers and rubbed her folds and felt the wetness. Oh, how he wanted to just plunge into her right now and take her, but he couldn't. He needed her first time to be all about her.

She sighed as he began rubbing her and let her hips match his movements. He placed one finger in her to help ease the tension and build her pleasure. He wanted her to come. He wanted to hear her moan. Her eyes affixed on his when his finger started moving inside her; she bit her lower lip trying to contain her emotions. This experience was so new and she didn't know whether she sould scream or not. Her body called out for her to scream, but her inhibitions remained intact.

His fingers moving inside her sent shocks of pleasure all through her body. She no longer smiled when he looked at her, they only showed the lust she had for him. He added another finger, feeling her stretch. She let out a small whimper when he did, but soon the euphoria took over as he continued pleasuring her body. She closed her eyes and tossed her head back. As his fingers moved in and out of her, she felt her body detach from itself. She had to grip the sheets before she felt herself becoming undone. How he made her feel and what he was doing to her body caused her to stop biting her lip and release the moans she had been holding back.

He then rolled on top of her, never relenting in the pace of his fingers, placing his mouth by her ear.

"There you go, baby," he whispered to her, encouraging her. She about lost her mind when he found the sensitive spot on her and began to rub his thumb over it; she had never been touched there before, not even by her own hand. She gripped the slats in her headboard and let out another loud moan, letting Jacob know what he did to her. She let go.

After taking his time with her body, he smiled knowing she was getting close. He heard her moans get louder as the movements of her hips became more erratic. God, he loved making her feel this way. Her sex was dripping on his fingers, and his hardness ached, wanting to feel her wetness once he was inside her. It didn't take much longer for her walls to contract around his fingers, and she felt total and complete ecstasy. She was floating above her body, hearing herself scream Jacob's name. It felt like a dream, but it was real.

"That's it baby. Let it go." She arched her back to push herself more on his fingers. She said his name in between screams. He had never seen or heard anything more beautiful than Nessie at this moment. Her heaving breasts, her glistening body, the abandon of all her senses. He wanted her so badly now. His shaft twitched, needing to be inside her and feeling her walls contract around him. She pushed her hips one more time into his hand and breathed in and out heavily as if she had just run ten miles.

When her body stilled, Jacob rested himself on top of her, running his fingers through her hair. He had a little trouble calming himself down, not wanting to wait to dive into her body, but he knew he needed to hold her and give her a moment to bask in what just happened.

After finally catching her breath, she spoke, "So that's what it feels like?" Nessie didn't know a thing about sex until now. She had never gotten herself off or had anyone do what Jacob had just done. It felt new and amazing to have Jacob touch her and bring her to orgasm. She wanted to have many, many more with him and soon.

"Yeah. From your screaming, I would say that you enjoyed yourself?" he asked, feeling proud of what he had done.

"Mmm. Hmm," she panted. "Jacob?" He loved the way she said his name, especially after watching her writhe beneath him, screaming his name.

"Yes, baby," he answered continuing to stroke her hair.

"I want more." She smiled a devilish smile, and he knew he wanted more, too.

It took just a moment for him to get on top of her, raising his body just enough for her to get access to his boxer briefs. As she shifted the waistband down his rear end, he kissed her in anticipation. Jacob could only imagine how tight she would be, and his body almost split apart thinking about it. His body was seconds away from doing what he had dreamt of doing when he first laid eyes on her.

"Oh. My. God." A strange female voice was heard in Nessie's room. The voice made them stop what they were doing. They had been so engrossed in each other that they never noticed that someone had entered the room.

Jacob lowered his head on Nessie. _You've got to be fucking kidding me,_ he thought as he cursed the interruption.

~o~O~o~


	15. Cleaning This Gun

**"Come on in boy sit on down  
And tell me about yourself.  
So you like my daughter do you now?  
Yeah we think she's something else.  
She's her daddy's girl,  
Her momma's world.  
She deserves respect.  
That's what she'll get.  
Ain't it, son?  
Hey y'all run along and have some fun.  
I'll see you when you get back.  
Bet I'll be up all night  
Still cleanin' this gun."**

 _ **Cleaning this Gun**_ **by Rodney Atkins**

"Oh. My. God," the voice had said.

Nessie looked over to the door as she brought Jacob to her chest. She heard him breathe out and curse under his breath in frustration. She felt the exact same way.

"Aunt Rose?" Nessie said surprised.

"My little Renesmee has a boy in her bed," she cooed. Aunt Rosalie, or Rose, was Nessie's forty-something, smoking hot, single aunt. She lived in Seattle and worked as a therapist specializing in marriage counseling, though never married herself. She was a self-professed heart breaker and lived up to that image. Tonight she wore her black, pencil skirt and fish-net stockings—the usual. Her low-cut blouse intentionally exposed her abundant cleavage. Her platform, stiletto heels tapped as she took in the scene in front of her.

Jacob lifted himself off Nessie and brought the sheets up to cover her naked body.

Rose took a good look at Jacob. Her eyes raked up and down the boy in front of her. "I stand corrected. Nessie's got a man in her bed...it's about damn time."

"Aunt Rose, what are you doing here? I am kind of busy," Nessie said infuriated. Jacob sat motionless not believing his luck. He didn't have to worry about being disappointed. Being caught by his girlfriend's aunt pretty much took the wind out of his sail.

"Well, I am truly sorry for interrupting, Nessie. You know me. I am the last one to keep someone from getting a good lay. I'm here because I found out you would be alone this weekend, so I thought I'd surprise you with a visit. Surprise!" Rose lifted her hands and wiggled her fingers when she sarcastically said 'surprise'.

Nessie didn't appreciate the unexpected visit. "Yes, you've surprised me. You should have called."

"I know, but what's the fun in that? I wouldn't have gotten to walk in on you with this nice, young man here," Rose said emphasizing the _nice, young man_ part. "You should, however, be thanking me for being here. I just talked to your father, and his conference was canceled at the last minute. I would say they are about ten minutes from being here. You better be glad it was me who caught you in your bed with this...this...lovely specimen of a man." She looked at Jacob admiringly. "God, Nessie. I am truly sorry."

Jacob smirked. He kind of liked this woman, even though she had totally screwed up his night.

"Now, do I need to take, um what's your name, sweetie?" she asked.

"Jacob," he muttered.

"Do I take Jacob out the back door, or does he get to meet Bells and Eddie?" Rose wondered.

Jacob looked at Nessie. She didn't know what she wanted to do. They had been doing a bad job of keeping their relationship a secret lately, but she had yet to tell her parents about the two of them.

"I want him to meet them," she said without hesitating. "That is, if you want to, Jacob," she asked. She didn't want to make him do something against his will. She knew he hadn't expected a formal meeting with her parents tonight. It was supposed to be the two of them alone.

 _Hell, no! w_ as his first reaction, but if he said no he would upset Nessie more than she already was. He could see the panic in her eyes. Meeting her parents would hopefully open up their relationship to being more acceptable. He didn't need her parent's approval for anything, but he needed it for Nessie's sake. "Sure, sure, I guess we could do that," he answered, finally.

"Are you sure?" Nessie asked. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"S'okay. It'll be fine," Jacob said it more to himself. He needed to be convinced it would be fine.

"all right then," Rose said. "Jakey, honey. You need to get dressed really fast, and I'll take you down the back stairs. Nessie, try to get the 'I just had an orgasm' look off your face and get dressed. By the way, your clothes are all over the house, but I'll get those. You just get freshened up." Nessie and Jacob didn't move, apparently still in shock.

"Oh, and Nessie, put on something nice. We're going out tonight," she made her way to the door. "I'll be right outside ready to take Jake downstairs." With that being said, she shut the door.

Nessie pulled the covers up to her chin unable to believe what was happening, and it was happening too fast. Jacob and she were supposed to have a romantic evening together, but all of her plans went out the window once her aunt showed up. Even her parents were on their way. Nessie had really wanted a night with Jacob, a night without horrible situations or interruptions. She'd been waiting for this very particular and romantic night for what felt like forever. Sure she and Jacob had gotten plenty of minutes together, but it wasn't enough. Nessie had a thirst that was in dire need of being quenched. Nessie felt that she would perish if she didn't get exactly what she wanted from Jacob.

Jacob looked at Nessie, who seemed to be getting more nervous by the second. "Hey, babe. We're okay. Let's just focus on getting our clothes on, and then we'll worry about your parents." He kissed her forehead and pushed himself off the bed. _One hell of a way to meet the family,_ he thought.

Jacob pulled on his jeans and watched as his beautiful Nessie made her way off the bed to her dresser. He forgot what he was supposed to be doing because his eyes were affixed to the naked girl in front of him. Up until tonight, he had dreamed about what she looked like without her clothes on. Now it was a reality. He found it hard to concentrate while her flawless body was exposed to him. Nessie ran her fingers through her hair to get it out of her face. Her doing anything with her hair always turned Jacob on. From the first time he saw her, that copper hair became an aphrodisiac for him. He watched her find her undergarments from her drawer, and she caught him watching. He smiled his boyish grin.

"See something you like?" she asked confidently.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." He finished putting on his t-shirt as he walked over to her. He grabbed her from behind and pulled her to his body. The need for her was almost too overwhelming in that moment. He knew he should keep his hands off of her and focus on getting downstairs before her parents arrived, but he couldn't resist the temptation of her soft, flushed skin in his hands.

Nessie didn't expect Jacob to be this close when they needed to be getting ready for her parents, but she didn't mind at all. He took his hand and brushed her soft hair away from her neck. He then ran his palm down her body and across her abdomen. His other arm wrapped tightly around her breasts. His head found the crook of her neck and inhaled to get one last whiff of her scent before they had to be formal in front of her mom and dad. He would have to pretend that he hadn't just been with _their_ daughter in _her_ bed in _their_ home.

"Ahhh...Jacob. You...have to go," she said reluctantly as she felt his fiery lips on her bare skin. His hands made one last sweeping motion up her outer thighs, to her stomach, and then across her breasts.

"Dammit!" he whispered sucking in air at the same time. "I want you so badly, Ness. You are so fucking beautiful. I can't help myself." His body ached for her in a bad way. Meeting her father would be difficult if he continued having his erection, announcing his less than honorable intentions for his daughter.

She turned to him, which he enjoyed more because his hands were able to feel more of her naked skin. Their lips almost touched when a loud banging on the door stopped them.

"Hey, you two. Edward will be here soon. Does Jacob want to meet him formally downstairs or leave the house with the barrel of my brother's Remington sticking in his back?" Rose called through the bedroom door.

"She's really starting to me piss me off," he said angrily. Rose had already interrupted once; now she was doing it again. "I'm coming," Jacob said wishing he were coming in a different way. He then backed away from Nessie getting one last view of her body.

"I'll keep this picture of you in my head for a long time, or at least until I can get you naked again." He smiled, and she had to steady herself by placing her hand on the dresser.

"I'm counting on it," she said trying not to be embarrassed. "Now go. I'll be down as soon as I can to help with the mess."

Nessie began dressing and watched Jacob leave her room. She knew it could be a very bad decision on her part if Jacob and her parents met. If their relationship were going to work, then she would have to stand up to her parents, mainly her father, and let them know she wanted to be with Jacob, not anyone else. She ran to her closet to find something that her Aunt Rose would approve of for going out tonight. Life moved at a fast pace when her aunt came into town. Even though she was twenty years older than her niece, Aunt Rose still dressed and acted like someone Nessie's age.

The bedroom door clicked behind him, and a glaring eye from Nessie's blonde aunt was there to greet him.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Twenty one." Jacob braced for the barrage of questioning.

"You look much older than that. You are, um, quite mature for your age," she paused taking inventory of his body. "You know she's only nineteen, right?" Rosalie asked. Jacob nodded his head.

"So...how long have you been screwing my niece?" she asked point blankly with her arms folded across her chest.

"Wow. You don't waste time do you?" Jacob smirked a bit.

"No, I don't. I'm not known for being quiet when something's on my mind, and right now I am very interested in what you were doing in there with her. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm proud as hell for her. I mean, look at you," said Nessie's pouty-lipped aunt. "But I also need to make sure you're not just using her for sex."

"Well, I'm not sure how to answer you," Jacob stammered, intimidated by this woman.

"Are you or are you not fooling around with my niece?" Her red fingernail pointed in his direction. He thought she looked a little scary at the moment demanding personal answers from him.

"Yes." He knew fooling around was a relative term. Nessie and he had shared many intimate moments together, but actually making love was not one of them. Jacob felt that every touch and moment with Nessie was special and ranked up there with getting to have all of her. He wanted her aunt to know how he felt, but he also knew that it wasn't any of her damn business. Jacob believed one thing about relationships, you didn't divulged details about your love life. He couldn't demean his Nessie by embarrassing her. She trusted him with her most private moments, and he wasn't about to ruin that trust.

"For how long?" Rose demanded.

"I can't answer that," Jacob replied, making sure she understood that he wouldn't answer such intrusive questions.

"Why not?" He watched her aunt act shocked with his answer. Jacob sensed that no one said no to this woman or denied her of what she wanted.

"For one, it's between Ness and me. Two, she's the most important thing in my life, and you shouldn't worry about my intentions with her. I love her very much." He said it quickly but sincerely. If Nessie were to be in his life, he would have to get along with her family the best he could. Her aunt would be a start.

"A gentleman, I see," she paused, looking at him bemused. "I like you, Jacob. You seem to be making her happy, so I approve. However, Edward isn't the only one who can chop off balls in this family. Don't hurt her in any way or they're mine. Got it?" she asked.

"I believe I do," he replied. Rose then made her way to Jacob and began tucking in his shirt to his jeans and adjusting his belt. Jacob looked at her with shock as she touched him in places that he now reserved for Nessie. He didn't know what to do with Aunt Rose. She seemed to be flirting with him, but he wasn't sure. Rose then ran her fingers through his hair, but not in a sexual way. She seemed to be styling it.

"Oh, honey. Don't worry about me touching you. If I were coming on to you, you would know. You would definitely know. I'm just making you presentable for Edward and Bella, not that Bella will have a clue," she mumbled the part about Bella under her breath. "Now, let's get downstairs and clean up the mess the two of you made. I love whipped cream, too. One can't go wrong with that," Rose said as she led Jacob down a darkened hallway. She turned on a dim light, and the two of them headed down the back stairs. The stairwell seemed like it wasn't used very often. The dust had settled on the edge of the waynes coating, and it held a musty odor that reminded Jacob of how his attic smelled.

He took note of a few family pictures that adorned the creamed-colored wall. It amused him to see his Nessie in pig tails with her small freckles that dotted her nose. She must have been around six or seven. He saw several more expensive frames holding pictures of what had to be her parents and other family members.

He came to a halt when he saw a man in a picture that he knew very well. It was a younger Charlie with dark hair, not gray like it was now. He was holding a very tiny, red-headed toddler who had her arms wrapped around his neck. Charlie looked smitten by the child he held. It had to be Nessie in Charlie's arms. It looked like the picture was taken at a family picnic or something of that nature. His heart ached for the two of them, especially Nessie. She was just a child that was affected by whatever fight the family had. The reason for the falling out didn't matter to Jacob; he just knew that Nessie was an innocent victim in its wake.

He was about to catch up with Rose when he noticed that in the same picture a familiar man stood in the background.

The man was out of focus, and Jacob squinted to see the figure who had his arm around a dark-haired woman. The man, who also had long, black hair, smiled a familiar smile to Jacob. The more he looked, the more the picture became clear. There was no doubt who the couple was.

It was his mom and dad.

He had to have been around when the picture was taken. He couldn't believe that he probably knew that little red-headed girl way back then. They probably even made mud pies together. He just couldn't remember, but he was more upset that the rift between the Cullen's and Chief Swan caused him to miss out on knowing her all his life. He could have started loving her a long time ago.

"We don't have time to look at everything. Edward. Remington. Balls. Remember? Let's go, Lover!" Rose called from the bottom of the stairs. Jacob finally got his mind back on meeting the parents. His discovery would have to wait.

~o~O~o~

"Well, my love, we are finally home." Jacob heard a man's low, tenor voice coming from the front of the house, and his body began to feel tense.

He didn't dare go and look. Rose had him stay in the kitchen while she made a clean sweep of the living room. Nessie was still upstairs getting herself presentable for her parents. Jacob didn't like the way he was feeling. He rarely felt like this. Maybe a few times on the football field he had this knot in his stomach, but he soon got over it and let the adrenaline kick in. Tonight he was about to do something he had never done before, meet the love his life's parents. He was more nervous than he had been in his entire life. He realized now that they probably knew him as a young boy, which could either hurt or help his chance of winning their approval.

"Time to shine, Jakey. Flash Eddie that winning smile. That might help him like you. I wish showing him your abs would win him over, like it did for me, but I think it would be pointless." Nessie's Aunt Rose was something else. He liked her a lot, even though she scared the shit out of him.

"Could we not joke about my abs right now? I feel like I'm going to throw up," Jacob confessed.

"Oh, you'll be fine. I'll have you meet them, make a little small talk, and then we'll go out as planned. You'll find out that I'm going to be your biggest ally," she said as she pushed him into the entry way.

He nervously watched a man and a woman who looked to be about his father's age fumbling with their luggage. The woman was too skinny for Jacob's liking but still stunning. Her brown hair and eyes shined in the light from the windows. Her skin matched her daughter's, and she glowed with happiness standing next to the statuesque man. He looked adoringly at Bella. She stood by her suitcase and tripped over her own feet standing still. She laughed at herself, and when she did, her eyes saw Jacob. He swallowed the huge lump in his throat. He then noticed Nessie's father looking at him, too. It wasn't a look; it was a glare. Jacob understood the expression _if looks could kill_ just from looking into Edward's eyes.

Jacob knew it would be hard to win over her father after receiving a look like that one, but he would try his best.

"Brother Edward. How are you, darling? I hate to hear that your conference was canceled. I was just getting ready to take Nessie and this young man out on the town." Rose hugged Edward whose gaze never left Jacob's.

"And who would this young man be?" Edward hissed. He looked like he was made out of marble and his flinching jaw only added to his hardened persona.

"I'm Jacob, sir. I'm a friend of Nessie's." Jacob stuck out his right hand to shake hands with her father. He didn't realize until Edward clasped his hand that he was touching her father with fingers that had been on his daughter in a very intimate place. Jacob tried not to think about it, but he found it difficult. If her father could read his mind, he would be in serious trouble.

"It's a pleasure," Edward said through his gritted teeth. "Would that be your motorcycle in the front drive?"

"Yes, sir. It is." He knew the motorcycle was another strike against him.

"I trust you wouldn't put my daughter on that thing, would you?" Edward questioned. Jacob felt being questioned by members of the KGB in the communist Soviet Union would be easier and less painful than this.

"No, sir." _At least not from this point forward._ Bella cleared her throat as if to announce her presence, which seemed to be overshadowed by the tension between Edward and Jacob.

"You must be Mrs. Cullen, Nessie's mom. It is nice to finally meet you." Jacob shook her hand, too. He noticed Bella looking at him curiously. Bella acted sober right now, and Jacob remembered her pattern that Nessie had mentioned to him. When her mom was with her dad, all was well, but once he left, Bella was comatose from drinking too much.

"Are you from Forks, Jacob?" Bella asked. He felt her mother would be much easier to win over than her father.

"Yes and no. I was born and raised in La Push, but Forks is where I work, so it is like my home, too," Jacob replied. He tried to keep smiling through his nervousness.

"La Push? Really..." Bella paused, looking at Jacob's face intently. "You look like someone I used to know," Bella said.

"Edward, once Nessie makes her appearance we'll be heading out. I told Nessie I needed to dance a bit. I haven't been in so long," Rose chimed in, interrupting Bella's thought. Rose was used to Bella being somewhat invisible and out of touch. It never occurred to her that Bella was actually in a lucid moment.

"Rose, you know I don't like it when you go out. You act worse than the young kids," Edward said to his sister, acting a little tired. Rose returned a pouty face to her brother, convincing him to let Nessie go out with her without saying a word. "But who am I to deny you of your fun. You hardly get to see her." Jacob realized that Rosalie did, in fact, get what she wanted.

Bella took a step towards Jacob. "What's your last name?" she asked in earnest.

"Black. My last name is Black," he answered, knowing that recognition was inevitable. Before Bella could say anything else, everyone's eyes darted to the figure hurrying their way.

"Mom. Dad. You're home! I wasn't expecting you!" Nessie yelled as she descended the stairs. Jacob couldn't help but stare at her legs in the short dress she wore. He could live for days just staring at her legs.

She ran over to her mom and hugged her neck before any exchange could be made between Bella and Jacob. She hugged her father with a little less enthusiasm but did so nonetheless. Jacob could tell she was nervous and he sensed she was overdoing it a bit.

"Nessie, I trust you will be on your best behavior tonight. Your Aunt Rose can be a little bit of a bad influence sometimes," Edward said, obviously bothered by the entire situation.

"Oh, Edward. You know Nessie is an old stick in the mud. It's my job to make sure she has a little fun, right?" Edward didn't look too pleased at the moment, and it seemed that Rose just liked to push his buttons. "Besides, I haven't seen her in months, so I am overdue some quality time with her."

Edward exhaled deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He became distracted by the woman coming to help them with their bags. "Remember to wash everything, even if it seems clean, Beverley. I don't like for our clothes to smell like the airplane."

"But, Mr. Cullen, you didn't even board," the small woman replied to Edward.

Edward stared at the woman, amazed that she questioned him. "Beverley, you know how I like things. Whenever we come home from a trip, the entire wardrobe is washed. Please do what I ask of you. Thank you." The woman left, wheeling the luggage behind her.

After ordering the help around, his eyes made it back to the tall guy who dared to take out his daughter.

 _Now I see why Nessie and her father don't get along. He's a controlling ass._ Jacob thought to himself as he witnessed the exchange between Edward and his employee. He watched as Bella kept eying him, and he began to feel uncomfortable. He hoped Rose would get him out of here and soon.

"Jacob, I assume you go to the University if you are a friend of my daughter's," asked Edward.

 _Oh, God. The questioning continues_ , Jacob thought. He looked at Rose and gave her a get-me-the-hell-out-of-here look.

"Well, sir, I, um, don't attend Forks University. I work there," Jacob answered. _God, why is this so painful_. Jacob would rather be doing anything else besides talking to Nessie's father at the moment.

"You _work_ there?" Edward's voice said in a condescending tone.

"My, my. Would you look at the time. We better get going if I'm going to return Nessie home at a decent hour," Rose interjected. She grabbed her purse and took Jacob by the arm. "Edward, let these kids go and have some fun. I'll be good. Promise."

Jacob knew that Bella and Edward's eyes continued to stay on him as he was forced out the door by Rose. Nessie followed quietly.

"Bye, you two. Go get some rest," Rose yelled as she walked down the front steps approaching her car. Once inside Rose's Mercedes, they all took a deep breath.

"Well, that couldn't have gone any worse," Jacob said, breaking the silence.

"Honey, you should be proud that Edward didn't kill you right then and there. I say you accomplished something," Rose said smiling.

Nessie sat in the front with her aunt while Jacob took up the entire back seat. Nessie reached her hand over and placed it on her aunt's that rested on the gear shift. The blonde looked at her niece and gave her an adoring look. Before Nessie could speak, Rose softly said, "You're welcome."

~o~O~o~

"And when she walks she walks with passion.  
When she talks, she talks like she can handle it.  
When she asks for something boy she means it,  
Even if you never ever seen it.  
Everybody get your necks to crack around.  
All you crazy people come on jump around.  
You doing anything to keep her by your side  
Because, she said she love you, love you long time!"

~ _Maneater_ by Nelly Furtado

~o~O~o~

Jacob sat at a table close to the dance floor and watched Nessie and her aunt dance wildly. He had done so for the last couple of hours. Under any other circumstances, he would not be happy to be back at Edge, the club where he almost started a brawl with Tyler. He would rather be getting his pitcher of beer filled by Paul, but after meeting Nessie's father, this club was paradise. The beer was cold, and he had a good view of Nessie shaking her ass. What could be better?

He saw her smile at him briefly, and then Rose grabbed her arms and spun her around. The two of them together made for great entertainment.

"Hey, Jacob Black. What's up, my man?" Jacob's darted his eyes from the dance floor to see a huge bear of a man standing across the table from him. He shook hands with the friendly guy.

"Hey. It's Emmett, right?" Jacob said. "Care to join me?" Emmett obliged and pulled up a chair at Jacob's table.

"Thought you had a game tonight?" Jacob asked.

"We did. I had to let off some steam tonight, especially after losing so badly. I needed to get out of my dorm room. I'm not a happy loser." Emmett took a swig of his beer.

"Well, there's plenty of beer and girls around. You should be able to get your mind off things for tonight at least," Jacob said.

"Yeah, I hope so. Your beating the shit out of Tyler didn't help our game tonight either," Emmett cracked a grin when he said it. "I hate to lose, but you putting that asshole in his fucking place was epic. You are the talk of the town, or at least the football team."

"I won't ever apologize for hurting him. He deserved it," Jacob replied.

"So, there's a rumor you're going to meet with Coach. What do you have to say about that?" Emmett asked and scanned the crowd, waiting on Jacob's answer.

"It's true. I'll see him on Monday. We'll see what happens," Jacob shrugged his shoulders, trying to be nonchalant about the whole matter.

"I'll block for you any day over Tyler. Just sayin'." As Emmett and Jacob continued to talk, the two danced-crazed women came over to the table for a break. Jacob took Nessie by her waist and brought her close to him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and found her glass of water. They weren't prepared to witness what would happen next.

Rose walked to the table and stopped when she saw Emmett sitting next to Jacob. She hadn't expected to see anyone like him tonight. She was here for her niece, not love, but there this man sat. He was huge and muscular, everything she preferred her men to be. Even though he was younger by many years, he had a grin that transcended time. The way he looked at her did something to her that she knew all too well, except this feeling went beyond just physical attraction. There was something about him that drew him to her.

She was tired from dancing so long, and she was thirsty. Thirsty in more ways than one. Jacob and Nessie watched as Rose leaned over the table, trying to reach her drink. She was pleased when Emmett noticed the cleavage she intentionally revealed in doing so.

"Oh, dear." She bit her fingernail between her ruby lips. "I can't reach my martini. Could you get it for me?" She looked as if she were undressing her new obsession.

Emmett slowly gave her the drink and watched as she walked closer to him, obviously mesmerized by the blonde bombshell standing inches from him.

"And what might your name be, sweetie?" she asked Emmett.

"Er...um..." Emmett couldn't speak, so Nessie helped him.

"His name is Emmett, Aunt Rose. He plays football for the university," Nessie said proudly.

"Well, hello there, Emmett. It's so nice to meet you." She ran her finger across his cheek to the tip of his nose.

Jacob leaned over to Nessie and whispered in her ear. "She wouldn't, would she?"

"Oh, Jacob. She can and she will." Nessie tried to stifle a laugh.

"But she's...she's much older than he is." It seemed like Jacob was protesting.

"Oh, Jacob. Once you get to know my aunt, you'll know this behavior isn't out of the ordinary. There's a cougar in there ready to pounce." Then the two of them watched Rose sink her claws into her target.

"I have a feeling you and I are going to get to know each other very well. Would you care to dance, Emmett?" she asked taking his hand in hers before she even got his answer. Emmett, still speechless, stood up and followed her to the dance floor.

Yes, Rose always got what she wanted.

~o~O~o~


	16. Thank You

**"And even if my house falls down now I wouldn't have a clue,**

 **because you're near me."**

 _ **Thank You**_ **by Dido**

 **~o~**

The way his dark eyes smoldered when he looked at her; the way his grin did that smirky thing before turning into an all-out smile. The way his jaw line angled to the spot on his neck she loved to kiss. The way his dark hair shined when the light hit it just right.

Nessie kept her eyes closed, picturing his face, the beautiful face that she had memorized for the moments she had to be away from him. She wondered if he thought about her the way she thought about him. Did he think about her as much? She couldn't imagine him doing so. He was on her mind every moment she was awake. Her dreams were becoming infiltrated by him, too. She felt as if she were the only one in the world who had ever been in love and the first person to ever feel this way about anyone. In her mind, their love ranked higher than Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's or even Romeo and Juliet's. No love had ever existed before or would continue after.

Her eyes opened, realizing she needed a picture of him, not just the one in her mind. She wanted something tangible that she could see and touch. She giggled when she thought about kissing the picture of him before she went to bed. How old was she again? And yes, she would be kissing that picture.

The next time they were together, she'd get some pictures of the two of them. It seemed only natural for him to be surrounding her in photos around her room, since he was in her every thought anyway. Now that her mom and dad knew about Jacob, she could start being the girl who obsessed over her boyfriend. She didn't have to hide him anymore. Her Aunt helped avert a major disaster; the kind of disaster where her father would shoot the boy to death who dared to take out his daughter.

She glanced at the time and wondered if her Aunt Rose would be up yet. It was Sunday morning, and they could do the crossword puzzle together like they did before she moved to Seattle. Nessie smiled knowing her aunt had saved her life last night in so many ways. If it weren't for her, Jacob would have been murdered by her father and never heard from again. Nessie wished there were some way to repay her for being understanding and loving her unconditionally.

The kitchen was still empty as she poured the coffee into the travel mugs. She knew the guest house would have sugar and creamer; she could even brew some more in the coffee pot out there when she woke up her aunt. Esme's blueberry muffins were placed on some plates along with the Sunday paper. It wasn't often her aunt came into town. Excited, Nessie carried a tray filled with goodies aiming to spend time with her.

Jasper had been her confidant her whole life. She talked to him about everything―except for the opposite sex. She couldn't imagine talking about Jacob with him, much less having a conversation about sex. Now that Jacob was in the picture, she needed to talk to someone who could fill her in on men. Nessie had no clue. Rose had been around the block more than once, so she knew talking to her would be helpful.

A small ache for her mom came unexpectedly as she headed to the guest house. It didn't cripple her but caught her off guard. Nessie had to set the tray down on one of the patio tables to get a hold of herself. Moments like these were lessening, but the intensity increased when they did occur. She knew the attacks came from the sorrow she had for not being close to her mom, but the other feeling that caused these episodes was guilt. She felt like she should be going to her mom for this kind of help. It felt like cheating, seeking out some other woman's help for things a mom should be doing. Brushing a tear away from her cheek, Nessie composed herself. She shouldn't be acting like this. She was a grown up. Wasn't she?

She knocked lightly on the door to the guest house that looked like an English cottage and was larger than most people's homes. She turned her back to the door and pushed it open with her backside. The tray wobbled a bit, and she tried to keep from falling as she stepped into the room. Nessie eyes grew wide after she steadied herself.

The house had been ransacked. The cushions from the couch were everywhere and feathers seemed to explode all over the rug in the living area. Chairs were overturned and most objects that had been on top of some surface had been scattered everywhere. Shards of glass adorned the floor. Her heart palpitated from the worry she felt. Was Aunt Rose okay?

Nessie ran to the back bedroom listening to the crackling of the glass below her shoes as she ran. The comforter of the bed had been thrown to the floor and the room looked like it had had the same treatment as the others in the front of the house.

"Aunt Rose? Where are you?" she asked quietly. A little scared, she couldn't muster up enough courage to make her voice register loudly. There were some faint noises coming from the bathroom. Nessie found a vase that luckily hadn't been destroyed and grabbed it. She didn't know what she would do with it if anyone jumped out to attack her, but she just needed something that could be some sort of weapon. She felt like she was in a horror movie, and she reached the part of the movie where she would yell _No, don't go in there_. Not once did the person on screen listen to her; they always opened the door and met their fate with the Jason's and Freddie's of the world.

She pushed open the door with one hand and the vase with the other.

" Mmmmmm," a male voice moaned. Then she heard a small laugh that sounded like her aunt's. The shower ran and hot steam billowed from out behind the clear glass shower door.

Nessie didn't walk in because she knew exactly what she would be walking into if she did. It wasn't a horror movie she'd be witnessing, but more like a porno. Aunt Rose had someone in the shower, and they were doing more than getting clean.

Nessie made sure she backed away, not looking toward the shower, but her eyes caught the reflection of it in the mirror. _Oh. My. God ! s_ he thought. She paused in shock for a moment because there was Emmett standing with his hands in Rose's hair. Rose was on her knees and her mouth was...it was on...it was _there_ on him _. Oh. My. God! s_ he thought again.

Nessie then noticed her Aunt Rose's eyes move to the mirror. She gave Nessie a wink, never missing a beat.

Nessie turned to run, embarrassed at the scene and more upset that she thought Rose had been murdered by a maniac. Instead, she walked in on her aunt servicing one of her college friends. Most of all, her aunt knew she had seen her and didn't seem to be bothered by it at all.

In her panicked moment, she turned to run away from her embarrassment. Her heart beat out of her chest and she couldn't believe she even worried about her aunt. Nessie realized why the house was trashed. Emmett and Rose had been having a little fun while the rest of the world slept.

Her hopes of getting out of the cottage quickly were dashed when she fell to the floor, tripping over God-knows-what. The vase she held crashed to the floor, breaking into hundreds of pieces. She caught herself with her hands, which jarred her shoulders a bit.

"Ouch," she yelled. She lifted her hand and saw blood. She must have fallen on one of the pieces of glass from the vase. She winced as she pulled out the shard that had lodged itself in her palm. She pressed her other hand to the wound. It didn't seem to be bad, but one could never tell. She slowly walked out the door and across the pool area to the main house. She didn't need to get injured again trying to run with the way she was feeling.

The kitchen was quiet when she entered. The blood ran down her arm, so she grabbed a towel and applied pressure, hoping the bleeding would stop soon. The first aid kit was up high in one of the cabinets. She had to stand on the very tips of her toes to even get her fingers on it. She tried to slide it out slowly with her uninjured hand, but she lost her grip on it. The box fell and its contents splattered across the floor.

"Shit, shit, shit," Nessie said angrily. She watched as several plastic bottles bounced across the floor, spilling their contents in the process. Holding her hurt hand with the towel, she blew her hair out of her face. She made her way to her knees in frustration not believing the chain of events that got her to this point. "How can I be so clumsy?" she asked herself out loud. She eyed the mess not knowing how to start cleaning it all up.

"That's because you inherited it from me, Renesmee," a voice called from the other side of the kitchen.

Nessie looked up and saw her mom standing there in her terry-cloth robe that had a fancy B monogrammed on the pocket. Bella grinned and ran her hands through her messy brown hair, giving a smile that almost looked painful.

Without speaking, Bella knelt down and took Nessie's hurt hand in hers. "Let me help. Your father may be the doctor, but I do know how to fix many wounds. I've spent my whole life doing so." Bella's eyes looked up to find her daughter's, and Nessie locked in on them. Her mother looked...good. She looked sober.

"I do need help. Thanks, Mom." Most of the time, Nessie cursed her mother and the lack of her parenting. She would cry in frustration and sadness at the woman who chose drinking over her. She wanted to be angry until her mother got better. She vowed never to forgive, but once her mother took her hand and showed her a smidgen of love that had been lacking for so long, Nessie became seven again. Nessie basked in her mother's attention. This window would close quickly, and Nessie would take anything that she could get.

"You won't need stitches, thank goodness." Bella took the butterfly strips and began to close up the gash with each tiny bandage. When she finished, the gash was closed. It didn't look pretty, but the bleeding had stopped. Nessie blinked back a tear, feeling her heart was a little like this wound. Her mom tried to patch it, but it would ultimately be there forever. Bella then took a roll of gauze and wrapped it around her daughter's hand.

"How does it feel?" Bella asked.

"It's better now. I don't think I could have done that with one hand," Nessie answered. The two Cullen women began to clean up the mess of bandages and spilled hydrogen peroxide. Nessie found a towel and wiped up the liquid from the floor. Her mother's next comment made her world spin a little faster.

"Jacob's grown up quite a bit," she said. "He's quite handsome. Though, I knew he would be."

Nessie stopped moving the towel, and looked to her mom. "What? Grown up? You just met him," Nessie said.

"Actually, no. I knew him when he was born. I went to the hospital when Sue had him."

Nessie stood up, taking in the information her mother now told. The past was coming together. Bella was starting to give Nessie the pieces of the puzzle to fit it all together.

"You know Jacob and his family?" Nessie asked.

"I do. They were good friends with your..." Bella's words trailed off.

"With who, Mom?" Nessie knew her answer, but wanted her mom to say it out loud.

"...with your grandfather." Bella's eyes diverted from her daughter's. She sat still on the floor, nervously packing the first aid kit with its contents.

Nessie stood quietly waiting to talk. The moment of truth was here, and Nessie didn't know how to proceed. She fell to her knees ready to talk and get it all out in the open.

Bella looked hesitant at Nessie getting so close to her. "Mom, I've seen him. I know he's here."

Bella searched Nessie's face as if not understanding her daughter's words.

"Who, sweetheart?" her mother responded.

"You know who. Don't play dumb. Charlie. I've seen him when I've been with Jacob." Bella got out of her crouched position and kept Nessie in her line of sight. The tender moment between mother and daughter faded and family skeletons started to make their way from the closet to the kitchen on this unsuspecting morning. "I haven't talked to him, though, and I want to."

Bella began shaking her head and turned her back to her daughter. "I need a drink," she whispered and began to rifle through the liquor cabinet. She opened a new bottle of gin. Nessie took two large steps to where her mom stood and grabbed the glass Bella had just retrieved for herself.

"No, Momma. You're not going to do this. At least not right now. I have you sober, and you damn well better talk to me. Don't shut me out," Nessie spoke loudly but didn't yell. She got the glass by force. "Why did you and Daddy lie to me? Why did you tell me he was gone? He's obviously here," Nessie cried. Her tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I...I...it wasn't my choice," Bella answered. Nessie waited for more, but nothing else came.

"Please, Momma. Don't close up on me. I need to know. Why did you keep me away from Grandpa Charlie? Why do you not talk to him?" she pleaded.

"Nessie, give me that glass _now._ Knowing will only hurt you more," Bella began to shake, obviously from needing the gin Nessie tried to keep her from having.

She'd have to play her mom's game now. She may be sober at the moment, but Bella didn't intend on staying that way. "I'll give you the glass when you answer my questions." Nessie held the glass close to her mom but didn't hand it over to her.

Bella tried to breathe and get a hold of herself. Whatever Nessie was asking seemed too much for her to bear. "We just had a falling out, that's all."

"No, it's more than that. You can tell me. I deserve to know," Nessie yelled.

"Nessie, I need you to leave your mother alone." Nessie looked and found her father in the kitchen. He had come in undetected, dressed in his scrubs about to take his shift. Bella took the glass while Nessie sat stunned by her father's interruption. It quickly was filled with the gin and Bella disappeared into the other room, taking the bottle with her.

"You need to understand one thing, there are parts of her past that she doesn't like to talk about. They hurt her too much. Your Grandfather needn't be discussed. Do you understand?" he demanded.

"I don't need to be shut out of whatever happened. He's my grandfather. I miss him. After all these years, I still miss him. You can't make that go away by leaving me out of it."

Edward looked at his daughter and her defiant stance. "I don't appreciate your tone of voice."

"I will not sit here and let you and Mom keep secrets from me. I want to know."

"I need to go and check on your mother."

"Don't do this, Dad. Don't stop now that we are actually talking about something that's real," Nessie pleaded.

Her father stood stiffly with his back to her as he started to leave the room. "I don't like your choices lately. You need to think about your decisions and see if they are in your best interest. You don't want me forcing my hand in things, do you?" Edward said as he squeezed the door frame with his hand.

Nessie got the feeling he wasn't just talking about the Charlie situation. Jacob came to mind, and her body froze. "What do you mean, Dad?"

"I think you know." He shifted slightly in the doorway. "I need to go see your mother now." Then he was gone.

She held her hurt hand and felt it throb. Her hand wasn't the only thing hurting at the moment.

~o~O~o~

 _How are you? J_

 _Good. You?_

 _Good. You at work?_

 _Yep. What are you doing?_

 _About to go run._

 _See you later?_

 _Yes. Love you. Ness_

 _Love you, too._

~o~O~o~

The day after her accident, her hand still felt sore. The trainers had patched up her wound this morning before her run. At least they quit making fun of her for getting hurt all the time and just accepted it.

Nessie made sure her route that morning went by his building. She ran for what seemed like forever and finally made it to the parking lot. She saw his motorcycle parked there. Nessie wanted, no needed, to see him. He was the one who made her feel better when things were tough. She tried not thinking about her father's words and what they implied. Did he want her to end the relationship? He didn't say it out loud, but she knew that's what he meant. She knew that leaving Jacob was out of the question.

Nessie walked quietly in the building, not wanting to disturb anyone. She hoped no one would be here, and she could see him privately. She made her way to the back. She turned the corner from the main part of the garage and walked down the short hallway. There was the closet on her left and a couple of rooms in front of her. One looked to be Sam's office. The other was a break room. She slowly stepped down the hallway and felt that she had missed him. She peeked in the break room and to her surprise, he was there.

Jacob's back was to her, reading the paper and sipping a cup of coffee.

"I thought you were working? It looks like you're taking it easy to me," she said smiling at him.

He turned to see her standing in the doorway, and he smiled. He set down his cup of coffee and walked over to her.

"You did catch me at a good time because I gave up on fixing some stupid motor and had to do something else. The day has gotten better now that you're here." He came over to her and put his arms around her body. She was still sweaty from running.

"Mine's better, too," she said.

"What's with all the clothes today?" he asked. Usually she wore close to nothing when she ran, and now she had on long pants and a long-sleeved shirt. He thought she looked cute with her thick band around her head that kept her ears warm. "This is cute." He rubbed the material between his fingers, and she took it off, looking embarrassed at having it on in front of him.

"It's freezing out there. I can't always go run in my sports bra, even if you like it," she said.

"You're always cold. You just need to hang out with me more, and I'll keep you warm."

"Oh, really." She smiled at him and pulled herself to him. "I hope you are okay with me coming here today. I needed to see you."

"Are you kidding? I'll take you visiting me over fixing stuff any day...wait. I need to do something." He let her out of his embrace and looked outside the door, making sure no one was there. He shut the door and locked it. Then he shut the blinds to the only window of the room.

"When's your meeting today?" she asked.

"Oh, that," he paused looking a little nervous. "It's this afternoon before they have practice," he said.

"I know you're going to knock 'em dead."

He made his way to her and embraced her again. He grabbed her back with his hands and buried his head in her neck. "Enough about that. I don't want to jinx it by talking about it too much. I get a little superstitious about these things. How are you doing?" he asked.

"I could be better...Jacob?" her voice sounded high pitched.

"Yeah, Ness," he kissed her neck listening to her voice.

"Um, I hope you don't mind, but I didn't come here to talk," she said honestly. She knew she wanted to talk to him about her mom knowing his family, but being close to him made her thought process go on hiatus.

"Thank God," he said and crashed his lips into hers. He had been severely disappointed the other night, and now having her was all he wanted. He took care of himself several times since their interrupted moment, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't Nessie.

She met the rhythm of his tongue and grabbed at the back of his neck to pull her closer to him. She took in the taste of him and enjoyed the noises he made while kissing her.

His hands were all over her. He grabbed her butt and squeezed it to him. He let his hand linger there, liking the way her ass felt in his hands. He was hard the moment he hugged her, and she felt good when he pushed her to him. He kissed her deeply a little more before pulling away from her. He pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it. She ran her hands all over his chest and abs, feeling every muscle and line this man had. She kissed the top of his chest and placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed him some more.

He noticed the bandage on her hand when she touched him. "What did you do this time?" he asked.

"I fell again. No big deal," she said. She didn't want to discuss her injury right now. There would be time later.

Her lips on his chest made him not want to waste time. He needed her, and he needed her now. He reached down and took the bottom of her shirt, pulled it off her, and threw it down. She began stepping out of her shoes and watched him when he looked at her. His darkened eyes saw her chest and wanted it free from any clothing. He needed to have his mouth there and quick. He would have already thrown a normal bra to the floor, but he had never removed a sports bra. She sensed what he wanted and crossed her arms, removing it like a t-shirt

"Thanks. I had no idea how to get it off you," he said. Jacob immediately placed an arm behind her back and pushed her chest into his mouth. He tasted the saltiness of her damp skin as he licked and sucked at her nipple. She let out a big sigh as she held onto his neck for dear life. She was about to fall down from her legs giving out on her.

"Jacob, I am about to fall down. Can we find somewhere to sit? You make my legs buckle every time you kiss me." He smiled after he removed his mouth from her breast. Without speaking he sat on the old, green sofa that seemed to be a permanent fixture in the break room. He had his hands on her hips as she stood before him. He wanted her to sit on him, but she had to do something first. She put her fingers in the waistband of her running leggings and shimmied them down her body. She wore a pair of small, cotton panties underneath. Jacob thought that even in plain panties she looked hot. He placed his lips on her stomach and kissed it, letting his mouth linger there.

She let out a big breath, feeling the tingling sensation his lips brought to her body. He could do whatever he wanted to her as long as he made her feel like this. He pulled her down to him, and she moved her body to straddle him. Her soft breasts were crushed up against his warm chest. He couldn't help the way his body responded to her. His hands pushed her down on him, and she hated the fact that his pants were still on. She kissed his ear and softly spoke into it.

"It's not really fair. I took my pants off," she said in a teasing tone. She pulled her body away from his and began to unbutton his jeans. She lifted her body off his just enough so he could slide his them down his body to reveal his boxers to her. She pushed her hips down on him again. "So much better."

She could feel his erection now, and pushed her body into it as much as she could. Jacob's body was perfect in every way, and the part of him she wanted so badly was no exception. Their cotton undergarments were the only thing that kept them apart, and she wanted to take them off but waited patiently for his cues. Nessie began to kiss his earlobe, sucking gently on the soft part. Her teeth wanted to sink into his skin when the sucking felt insufficient. She held herself back, moving her lips from their temptation and kissed him again on his lips.

Having her in a moment like this was all he ever wanted; his dick was thinking about one thing and one thing only. Then his mind began to think about consequences and what could happen in the heat of passion. He realized that he wasn't prepared because he hadn't expected this to happen here at work. "Ness...ahhh," he breathed as she moved her hips just enough to drive him crazy. "I don't have...protect―gahhh!" She moved her hips over his hardness again, and his train of thought left him momentarily.

"You don't have what?" she asked nipping at his shoulder.

"Protection. I don't have anything here," he said taking note that a condom needed to be with him at all times from now on.

"Oh..." Nessie felt disappointed but knew they didn't have to stop. "That's okay. We can just, you know, fool around, right?" she asked innocently. Nessie sat up on his lap, reached her arms up to her ponytail, and let down her hair. It fell all around her shoulders, sending more shocks to his system.

Jacob didn't answer because it would waste too much time. He started kissing Nessie immediately. One hand gripped her butt while the other found her breast again. He couldn't get enough of her body. He knew this was where his hands would be the majority of the time he spent with her. She snaked her hands down his body. It felt so warm and good to her fingers. She bravely took one and went under the elastic of his boxers. She pulled down the fabric and immediately began rubbing his length up and down.

"Is this okay?" she asked, not sure how to proceed from here. She had never been with a man and touching Jacob _there_ felt amazing. He was smooth and hot, and she stretched her hand to wrap it around him. She moved her hand up and down and noticed his hips began following her movements. "Am I doing it right?"

The boy who was all hands became like Jello. She heard a growl coming from deep within his chest, a sound she knew signaled his enjoyment. His arms wrapped around her back and made her chest touch his. His lips ran across her cheekbone while saying, "It's fucking fantastic."

"So you like this?" Even though she had no experience with what she was doing to him, she knew his answer. She liked teasing him a bit. It felt good to be this comfortable with him and to share these intimate moments together.

"Do you have to ask?" he said as she increased the intensity of her motion. She used her injured hand gingerly to pull his boxers down more, so she could get more access to him. He was left high and dry the other night when they were interrupted, and she wanted to pay him back for making her feel so good.

Her unoccupied hand went down further and touched him at the base of his shaft, playing with him. She watched his eyes close when he leaned his head back onto the wall behind them, moaning at the intensity of her touches on the place that had been threatened to be cut off several times just a couple of days ago.

"Fuck, Ness," was all he could say. His hands tightly held on to her hips as she began rocking her body with the motions of her hand. She was so turned on by what she was doing that she couldn't help herself. Taking her hurt hand away to hold on to his neck to steady herself, she then placed her soaked panties on the tip of hardness. She began moving herself on him, feeling him at her entrance through her panties.

"Ah, you feel so good, Ness," he moaned, and she could feel herself starting to feel like she did when Jacob gave her first orgasm.

Jacob couldn't believe what he was feeling. Her hand felt soft and cool on his hot length. She moved her hand up and down causing him to lose his train of thought...as usual. His hands that were exploring her body had to stop because the pleasure of what she was doing to him took over. He bucked his hips in her hand and his body rippled with the best sensations he could remember having. When she sat on top of his dick and started to rub her wet panties on him, he almost came right then. He could hear her breathing increase and small little moans were coming from the back of her throat. He held on a little longer to make sure she finished as well.

The two of them moved together up and down on one another faster and faster. Nessie began to whimper _Jacob_ in his ear as she felt her walls tightening. He reached his hand and rubbed her sensitive spot through her panties causing her to buck her hips more on top of him forcefully. Nessie kept pumping him up and down while she began moaning from what he did to her. She felt her body climbing higher and higher and couldn't consciously remember anything but touching him, pleasing him, wanting him to come for her.

He pushed her hips down onto him and she paused for a moment, reveling in the feeling his body had given her. Her lips kissed his, and it didn't take long for her to resume taking care of his pleasure. Nessie laughed a bit, thinking she had beaten him in their race to orgasm. Nessie ran the damp part of her cotton panties up and down his length. It wasn't long before he felt himself tighten at the base of his dick, knowing he was about to erupt.

"Ness. I am about to..." and he released himself onto her hand and let out a huge breath of satisfaction.

~o~O~o~

She took her arms and put them around his neck and his found their way around her waist. They tenderly kissed each other in a state of euphoria. The way this felt was amazing, and they both couldn't even imagine what it would feel like when they really were together.

He held her hand as he walked her to the front of the building and gave her one long, last kiss before she left. Their hands held on for as long as they could. He gave her the smile she'd need to keep in her mind tonight. She had so much to dream about.

Jacob walked into the shop and readied himself by the motor that had frustrated him that morning. Now he could focus and hopefully get it running before his meeting with Coach Rassmussen.

"Black! I think you better get in here _now!_ " Sam's voice yelled from his office.

Jacob's head jerked up from his work. _Shit!_ he thought. Sam knows.

~o~O~o~


	17. Friends

**Friends**

 **"I need love  
Cause only love is true.  
I need every wakin' hour with you.  
And my friends cause they're so beautiful.  
Yeah, my friends they are so beautiful.  
They're my friends."**

 _ **Friends**_ **by Band of Skulls**

~o~O~o~

"I don't want you to go," Nessie said as she watched her aunt pack her makeup into the Louis Viutton travel bag she always carried.

"I know." Rose paused for a moment and glanced at Nessie in the bathroom mirror. A sympathetic look came across her face while searching her niece's sad eyes. "I have clients waiting for me this week. I'm rearranging my schedule as soon as I get back, so I can visit here more often," she said.

"I bet you can't wait to see Emmett again." A half smile escaped Nessie's lips.

"That's one reason, of course, but I need to see you more. I think you need me, and no one has really ever _needed_ me before." Rose looked away and reapplied her ruby lipstick before placing it back in its case.

"I do need you. When you're here, Dad is less intrusive. He seems to leave me alone more. I don't know what you do to him." Nessie picked up a brush and absentmindedly combed her hair.

"He never has really approved of my choices in life, Nessie. Never has. He always had a way of making me feel insignificant. I like to let my hair down and go with the flow, and he stuck to schedules and regimens. I decided on therapy instead of medicine. Then I chose to remain single and not have children, which he didn't like. You know, I had a fiancé once," she said with a smirk on her face.

"I had no idea. No one tells me anything! What happened?" Nessie asked.

"Well, he and your father were close. The two of them were old frat buddies together and eventually went to med school together. Naturally, Edward thought our engagement was heaven sent. I only wish Royce were a bit better behaved. If your father knew the things he did to me behind closed doors, then he wouldn't have been so upset when I gave Royce the ring back. Let's just say that your Aunt Rose hasn't let a man control her life since. No one should ever lay a finger on you, no matter what happens between the two of you." Rose turned her back to the bathroom counter and sat on it, crossing her heeled feet at the ankles.

"Why have you never told Dad about, well, about how Royce hurt you?" Nessie asked. She had her own experience with boys like Royce and had no clue how to talk about it.

"I was too ashamed that I let it happen to me of all people. I came from the best of families and had everything a girl could want. On paper, Royce was the best choice, the perfect man. But in real life, he used beat the shit out of me. I stayed for a long time thinking he would change. He never did." Rose looked so vulnerable, so young after opening up the way she did. She didn't know how much Nessie needed to hear her story.

Nessie made her way next to her aunt on the counter, and they wrapped their arms around each other, sitting in the comfortable silence.

"I hope Jacob treats you the way you deserve to be treated, Nessie."

"Jacob treats me better than I deserve, and he is the most amazing person. He would never hurt me the way Tyler did," Nessie confessed. Rose ran her hand down Nessie's long locks.

"You deserve the best. Don't sell yourself short. I never liked that Tyler anyway. I'm glad you're finished with him," Rose said.

"I'm glad I 'm done with him, too, but Dad isn't. He loves the guy, which I don't understand. I wish...I sometimes wish I could leave, so he couldn't control my life so much." Nessie found Rose's hand and took it in hers, placing her head in her aunt's arms. "You can't leave," Nessie's voice trembled. "You just can't."

"Oh, honey. I'll be back in a week; I promise. I won't stay away any longer than that." Rose brought Nessie from her breast and looked at her in the eye. "Your father is the most frustrating man in the universe. He is stuck in his ways and will never change them. He is one of the reasons I had to move away because I couldn't stand the way he looked down on me. He and I never got along after Royce and I broke up." Her hands took Nessie's, and she brought them to her heart. "But, just know one thing. That man loves you more than you give him credit for. His world begins and ends with you; he just has a horrible way of showing it. Don't give up on him, even when he seems impossible."

Tears started to make water trails down Nessie's cheeks. "You need to stop crying because I just applied my mascara. I don't have time to reapply it either," Rose said. Her words brought a smile to Nessie's face.

"Now, tell me about this Jacob. Have you seen him lately?" Rose asked handing her niece an expensive, linen hanky.

Dabbing her eyes with it, Nessie spoke. "Well, that depends. He's not returning my calls right now."

"I thought you said he treated you well? Your man should call you, sweetie," Rose said matter-of-factly.

"I don't blame him. I kind of got him in some trouble." A look of guilt crossed her face.

"If he knows what's good for him, he'll call. You couldn't have done too much damage." Rose gave an inquisitive look.

"I haven't heard it directly from him, but apparently I've messed things up for him quite a bit," Nessie said, handing her hanky back to Rose.

"I can't imagine that little old you could be the source of so much drama," Rose exclaimed.

"You have no idea."

~o~O~o~

He watched the sun rise on this particular morning. Not being able to sleep made him restless, and the beach usually calmed his racing mind. It didn't seem to work this time, however, because his brain worked overtime, trying to figure out a solution to his dilemma that seemed to keep multiplying.

He had a great job a few days ago, working for a good man and earning a salary that helped him and his dad get by. That job vanished when Sam discovered that Jacob brought a co-ed into the building. Sam knew there was more than talking going on in the break room. Not only had Jacob made the choice to date a student, but he had to find the one with the last name of Cullen.

Dating a student went against the rules that Sam had set. He never gave an exception, even if he were raised on the same rez or was friends with his father. Sam became angrier that Jacob had blatantly deified him. Sam fired him that day, despite the fight Jacob gave him to try and keep his job. The infamous Leah caused Sam to hold a grudge with every female student on campus.

One of the best workers that Sam had ever employed succumbed to the temptations of the rich students who walked around campus. Sam knew they claimed to be in love but soon dropped guys like them whenever Daddy found out. He fell hard for Leah a long time ago, and she broke his heart when her father threatened to take away her trust fund if she continued dating him. Faced living a life with a common man making it month to month held no interest to Sam's love, and she was gone. Last he heard, she was living in New York City married to some real estate mogul. He knew his rules seemed unfair, but he made them to protect his boys. He didn't like for them to get hurt so carelessly like he did. He hoped Jacob's situation would be different, but he knew that there would be trouble with the Cullen girl, especially with the kind of father she had.

Life had dealt Jacob some bad hands in his lifetime, and getting fired was one of them. Every now and then, he received a good hand, too. On the day he was fired, good news came his way when he met with Coach Rasmussen. The meeting lasted about an hour and the anger he had been feeling went by the wayside when he was offered a full ride to come play football at the University of Forks.

Coach Rasmussen couldn't believe that _the_ Jacob Black had been working on his campus, and he didn't know it. He had even tried to recruit the star from La Push a couple years back. Jacob had committed to another school, and that ended Coach's dreams for him to play at Forks. He had just assumed that the high school standout had followed through on his initial commitment, never knowing that Jacob had to resend the offer. Coach seemed overly excited with the prospect of Jacob coming on board.

If Jacob were to accept the scholarship, he would start in the spring and begin off-season training immediately. He hoped even more that he could replace Tyler Crowley, who was good but a headache to control. He caused more problems than he was worth. Coach Rasmussen told Jacob that the commitment papers could be prepared at any time, ready for him to sign.

There was one problem, though. NCAA rules prohibit any student athlete to work while going to school. During the school semester, everything would be paid for, but Jacob couldn't support Billy without a side job. The same problem that he faced a few years ago came back again. Jacob wished that life wouldn't keep kicking him in the ass and give him a break for once. Jacob was at a crossroads again and didn't know which road to take.

He stood at the place where the water met the sand and threw rocks as hard as he could into the ocean. He would be happy working as a mechanic for the rest of his life, but the what-ifs would drive him mad. This would not be an easy decision for Jacob. His father's well-being would ultimately win, but the thought of actually becoming something his father could be proud of made him want to take a chance.

If it weren't for her, he would still be employed at least. He would have a month to figure something out all the while having a job. But if it weren't for her, he would never have been in the stupid football game that got him noticed. He wasn't truly mad at Nessie, but loving her had made his life more complicated than it was a few months ago. He wasn't as happy then, but he didn't have to worry about abusive ex-boyfriends or overbearing fathers. His life would be so much simpler if she weren't in it.

He kicked himself for even thinking such a thought and threw another rock. He loved her, and dammit if he wouldn't endure ten times the craziness just to have her another minute in his life.

"Hey, you." He heard Nessie's quiet voice speak barely above the sound of the waves.

"Hey." He didn't look at her. He was angry at the world, and he came here to be alone. He didn't need anyone to be close to him right now. He wasn't ready to talk about it, even with her.

"Your dad told me that I might find you here." He could see her out of his peripheral vision. The morning breeze had her hair fluttering around her face,. Iit had a bronze glow to it from the sun's reflection. He could smell her perfume and wanted so badly to know how better it would smelled if he just nuzzled next to her neck, but his emotions got the best of him. He stood unmoving, keeping her at a distance. She tried to stand close to him but sensed a wall between them that she felt afraid to cross.

"Don't you have class? Your dad's going to shit if you miss your lab?," he said coarsely.

"I skipped because I wanted to see you. You haven't returned any of my calls or texts. I am beginning to get the feeling that you're mad at me." She stopped speaking, watching his face. "If I would have known, I wouldn't have..." her words struggled to come out. "I wouldn't have come by your work and have been so forward with you. I'm so sorry, Jacob."

"How'd you find out?" he wondered. They hadn't spoken since that day; he hadn't called her.

"I wish you would have told me, but Quil told Claire. You know, I wouldn't have come by. I wish there were something I could do." She took his hand and looked at the side of his face, which remained hard as stone. His gaze continued to watch the waves rolling out on the ocean. She couldn't get him to even glance her way.

"There's nothing you can do," he spoke coldly. His hand stayed loose in her grasp. She held his hand tightly noticing the difference.

"We can figure something out. I'll help-" Jacob cut her off before she could finish.

"I don't need you to help me, and I need to figure this out on my own. You've caused enough problems already. I don't even know why you came." His words stabbed her in the gut and her breath suddenly sucked out of her body.

"I came for you," she said.

What was he doing? He loved her and shouldn't be talking to her this way, but his emotions were raw and his filter was off. He wouldn't take back one second from their time together in the break room; he just wished he hadn't been caught. His stubborn streak wouldn't allow him to let her in or let her know that he didn't blame her. He let his feelings take over and hurt the person he loved the most.

Her hand dropped from his the moment she heard his hurtful words. She didn't even ask why he said what he did, nor did she wait for him to apologize.

"I was wrong to come here. I should have gone to class, like you said. Don't bother calling me. Oh, wait. You're not doing that anyway, so that shouldn't be hard for you to do," she said, speaking bitterly. She turned away from him and two strides later she faced him again.

"I forgot I was supposed to take you to the bar this afternoon by the request of your friends. Now you can go by your own damn self."

She didn't cry as she ran to her car because she wouldn't do that in front of him. What had come over Jacob? She only wanted to see him and comfort him. Instead, he completely shut her out. She started the car and drove from La Push as fast as she could.

~o~O~o~

He walked into the Brass Monkey not expecting every single one of his friends to be there, but they were. He felt like he walked into an intervention, except he really didn't have any major vices that would cause such a thing.

His steps slowed as he neared the back table where they all sat. They must be serious because beer was nowhere to be seen.

"What the hell is going on?" Jacob asked apprehensively.

Paul kicked a chair towards Jacob. "Sit."

Jacob did as he was told. He knew he could take Paul, but he didn't like to make him upset, so he sat in the chair. He looked at his friends who seemed to have ganged up on him somehow. He felt like he was in front of a firing squad because each of their faces held grave expressions.

"So, when were you going to tell us about the scholarship?" Quil fired first.

"When I decided what I was going to do," Jacob answered. "What's this meeting all about? You guys are scaring me."

"We'll get to that," Paul sneered. "You can't have offers like that and not tell us, bro. We're your family, whether you like it or not, and we're here for you."

"How did you find out anyway?" Jacob asked.

"Never mind that now. We have something to say about it," Paul shot back. "I need you to listen and listen good. I'm gonna be here forever," Paul said motioning to the bar around him. "I'm gonna be serving beer from those taps over there until I'm too old to stand, and I'm happy to do it, too." Paul looked at Jacob, wanting him to understand the reason they called him here.

"Quil over there is gonna be working maintenance his whole life. Embry's gonna work for Dowling's as long as he can..."

"What's your point, Paul. We all have jobs, well most of us. I get it," Jacob said.

"No, you don't get it. You got something that none of us have...a chance. Sure we all could do something more, but we ain't got the means to do it. You do. You've got someone saying that he'll pay your way through school to throw a damn football. Don't you see? You can make something more of yourself."

"I don't see how it'll work out," Jacob added to the conversation.

"Jacob, you have to take this scholarship. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for us who don't have that chance," Quil chimed in.

"Guys, I'm glad you want me to take the scholarship, but I don't think I can. What about Billy? I can't work and go to school. The rules won't let me. I can't leave Billy alone like that," Jacob replied and put his head in his hands, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. His friends weren't helping either.

"You're taking the fucking scholarship, Jake. Over my dead body will I watch this opportunity escape you again," Paul said angrily, moving to a standing position.

"We knew you'd be stubborn about it, too," Embry said. "That's why we're all here."

"What are you all going to do? Beat me up?" Jacob joked.

"No, stupid. We have something for you," Jared added.

One by one, the guys piled a stack of money onto the table in front of them. "It's not much, man, but that's just the first installment," Seth said. "I only work part time after school, but I'm going to help. So is everyone else."

Jacob stared in amazement at his friends and the pile of money in front of him. How could they even afford to do this? Everyone he knew barely made enough money to make ends meet every month.

"Don't worry how we got the money. I can see that look in your eye. We made a pact that we were going to help take care of Billy while you were at school. We are gonna do it for as long as you are there, and that better be until graduation, too," Paul said forcefully.

Jacob sat dumbfounded at the offer his friends just made. "I can't accept this, guys. It's too much." He tried not to let himself get too emotional.

"Dammit, Black. One of us is gonna make it farther than that reservation, and it's gonna be you. You aren't just doing it for yourself but for every single one of us," Paul said. "You'll be turning your back on us, if you turn down the free ride."

"Just accept it, Jake," Jared chimed in.

"This is amazing. It's too much to take in right now. I can't believe you guys would do this for me," Jacob said, still sitting.

"Well, if it weren't for your girlfriend, we would have never known. She's the one who told us about the scholarship. Then Quil said you got fired for messing around with Nessie, which I think there is no better way to get fired," Paul explained, high fiving Jacob. "Nessie let us know you'd need help to go to school. Where is she, by the way? I told her to come, too."

Jacob crossed his arms obviously upset with himself. "I kind of pissed her off this morning. She's really not talking to me right now."

"You can be such a moron, bro," Quil said walking to Jacob and hitting him in the shoulder. Jacob just took the punch with no retaliation, not reacting the way he normally would have. He was humbled by his pack of brothers at the moment.

"I know. Believe me; I know." He realized he needed to call her soon.

"Hey, Jake. I hope you don't mind hanging out for a little while," Paul asked.

"I better stay, since all of you have threatened to beat me up. What for, though?"

"We're waiting on someone to get here," Paul said.

"Who?" Jacob cocked his head to the side.

"You'll see."

~o~O~o~

Nessie sat outside the bar, waiting for Claire to meet her. Her friend had convinced her to come, even if Jacob had been a jerk to her.

 _Ness, he just got fired. You need to give him a little break. He'll come around,_ Claire said reassuringly.

 _I don't know, Claire. I shouldn't go today anyway. It's a guy thing. I want him to see that it's them helping._

 _He'll need you afterward. He'll want to talk to you. That's why you need to be there,_ Claire said.

Nessie reluctantly agreed to be there. She knew she'd have Claire to lean on for support and to make sure she acted like a big girl.

Sometimes Nessie wished Claire wasn't so wise and all-knowing. Well, the all-knowing part was up for debate, but it seemed that way to Nessie. Jacob could sometimes make her so mad, and all it took was for Claire to put things into perspective for her.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

A voice spooked Nessie out of her reverie, and when she looked up, she saw Billy.

"Hi, Billy. How are you?" she asked. He wheeled himself towards her with a huge smile on his face.

"Couldn't be better. I'm a proud dad right now. My son's going to college," he said, beaming.

"I am proud, too, Billy. He deserves this chance," she said looking at the happy man. "Oh, he doesn't know you're coming yet. It'll surprise him, that's for sure," she informed him, sounding a little angry.

"Why aren't you in there? Weren't you the one to get the whole thing going in the first place?" Billy gave her an inquisitive look, sensing something was wrong. Nessie didn't know how to answer.

"So he did something to make you mad, huh?" Nessie nodded her head. "It figures. He has a way with his temper. Why don't you come inside with me, and we can surprise him together?" he asked.

"No, Billy. You go. This is your moment with Jacob. I don't want to be there and mess it up. I want the two of you to share it together," Nessie answered honestly.

"I'm not going in there without you. My son loves you, and if it weren't for you, this college-thing wouldn't be happening."

She sat contemplating Billy's words. She didn't want to go inside, but didn't want to disappoint Billy either. She glanced his way, and he crossed his arms across his broad chest. "I can be here all day. I'm a very patient man."

Nessie reluctantly stood up and put her hand on Billy's shoulder. "I'm going because you're making me, not because I want to. Your son can be a real jerk sometimes, you know." She said the last part in a semi-mocking tone.

"He's been that way his whole life. Try living with him," Billy said smiling. "Can I ask you something, Nessie, before we go in?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Would you be willing to come over for a fish fry tomorrow afternoon? I think you'd like to meet some of our family friends," he said giving her a wink, hoping she knew that there was one family friend of which he spoke.

"Oh, wow. Meeting people. Your friends," Nessie couldn't put a sentence together coherently.

"It'll be fine. Jacob and his hard head will be there with me to support you. What do you say?" he asked.

"Billy, you're good. Were you a salesman in a past life?" He chuckled at her comment. "I'll be there, and I'm looking forward to it."

The two walked into the bar, and the celebration began.

~o~O~o~

They all unloaded out of Paul's pick-up truck, and Nessie dismounted from Jacob's bike. After the seriousness of convincing Jacob to take the scholarship, everyone was ready for a little fun. They hadn't been out together in a long time, so they thought they could jump-start the night with a little cliff diving. It was cold, but they were young, and life was too short.

Jacob couldn't be any happier as he stared at his friends horsing around in front of him. He couldn't help but recall the moment his father had walked into the bar earlier that afternoon. He became a little boy again watching his father's beaming face. He headed straight to him, knowing Billy was there to support him and urge him to follow his dream of going to college. The stress he had been feeling for so long melted away when he embraced his father. When Billy looked at him and told Jacob how proud he was, well, that made everything worthwhile.

Then, he noticed Nessie standing quietly behind Billy; she snuck in without him noticing. He knew he needed to grovel and beg for her forgiveness for being such a jerk. He knew she really loved him if she had shown up here, despite his behavior this morning at the beach. She didn't have to arrange all this for him, but she did. He knew from the start that he didn't deserve a girl like her; now he was convinced of it.

She accepted his apology which caused him to lift her up in the air, spinning her around in the bar. The kiss he gave her afterward seemed to make her forget about the whole disagreement. All his friends clapped and cheered, and he could sense her embarrassment. He just held her close and let her blush. He couldn't wait to spend time with his friends and Nessie tonight.

Yes, Jacob was on top of the world as he watched his friends getting ready to jump, but then he saw the one person for whom he would literally die standing by his bike staring back at him. He walked over to her, feeling like his blood had never flowed so freely through his body.

"Are you ready?" Jacob asked, stripping off his shirt.

"I guess so. Are you sure it's safe?" she asked. She nervously took her sweater and pulled it over her head, setting it on his bike. She wore a simple, black tank top with her low-rise jeans. Jacob took notice of the small patch of bare skin that exposed itself above the button of her pants. He had to stop his wandering eye and help calm her nerves.

"I've done it a million times and haven't been hurt once. It's a piece of cake. Come on! You'll love it!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the cliff. The idea of cliff diving sounded fun at the bar, but now that she was actually about to jump made her head spin. She listened to the screams and watched as the rest of the group took running jumps into the raging sea below. Now it was her turn.

Nessie looked down over the cliff into the swirling water. She couldn't be brave looking down the precipitous drop. She stood motionless scared to death of what she was about to do. She had watched the others jump off effortlessly and was amazed by the daredevil that lived inside Claire. She and Quil had jumped hand and hand, screaming the whole way down.

Jacob wore nothing but his cut offs and stood next to her.

"Are you ready?" he asked. He got no response from her. "Ness. Ness, do you want to jump?" he asked again, and she still said nothing.

Jacob looked at Nessie who stared down below her. He could tell she was scared. "Hey, baby. We don't have to do this. We can go and meet them at the beach, okay?" She slowly took a step back without looking at him. Jacob didn't realize it before, but she was shaking. He came over to her and took his arms and wrapped them around her.

"Hey, let's go and not worry about this cliff-diving stuff. We can have a good time hanging out with everyone," he said.

"That sounds nice. Thank you for not making me jump," she said.

"Why are you thanking me? You don't have to do something you don't want to do." She took her arms and reached around his middle. He did the same with his arms and seemed to calm her once shaking body.

After their brief embrace, she took his hand and they headed toward his bike. She took her spot on the back, waiting for him to follow suit.

"They're going to torture me for not jumping. I'll never be able to live this one down," she joked. He came closer to her, watching her every movement.

"I won't let them do that. You know I'll stick up for you," he said. He had been an ass to her the past few days. He had learned his lesson, and he knew he needed to give her the respect she deserved. He didn't need to push her aside when things got rough in his life. He kept watching her, all the while fighting the overwhelming feeling of desire for her. Everyone would be expecting them at the beach, but he really didn't care in this moment as he followed her with his darkening eyes.

She began to pull her tangled hair back into a ponytail and ran her fingers across it preparing for the new hairdo. Jacob's hand reached up and placed it on hers, stopping her from finishing.

"Leave it down." She knew he liked her hair down, but his request had more behind it than just a simple preference to her hair style. He walked to the bike and stood next to her.

He took his head and bent it towards hers. Her hands instinctively found his body. His lips grazed her cheek, but he didn't kiss her. He had something to say to her, something that would forever change their relationship. As her cold fingers gloriously stung his chest under her touches, he spoke into her cheek.

"Stay with me tonight, Ness," he asked. She knew what he wanted, and she wanted it, too. Nervous butterflies fluttered around her stomach in anticipation. Her voice left her and her legs went a little weak. Nessie answered the only way she could.

"Okay."

~o~O~o~


	18. I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes

**I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes**

 **"We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes.  
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight... Just hold me tight.  
All I need is only you and me alone tonight.  
Yeah... I wanna make you close your eyes."**

 _ **I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes**_ **by Dierks Bentley (who is so yummy, btw)**

Jacob held her hand excitedly as he led her up the front steps to his house. Neither of them knew exactly how to act. Before the ride to his house, Jacob had asked her to stay the night with him, and she wholeheartedly agreed with a nervous _okay._ Now that they actually were getting to be together tonight, they both seemed a little apprehensive, knowing what the night would bring. The uncertainty that came brought out the feelings of awkwardness that they weren't used to feeling around one another.

He fidgeted with the lock to the door as she leaned against the house next to him. He became acutely aware of her presence next to him.

"I don't know why we even lock the thing," he muttered, making conversation to relax himself. Knowing he was so close to finally making love to her caused his hands to tremble. He forced back his excitement and calmly placed the key in the keyhole.

"You never know what might lurk out there in those woods, Jacob. You can never be too careful," she joked.

"Yeah, like there'd ever be anything that exciting here in La Push. Nothing ever happens here." He watched her smile at him before he pushed the door open. She waited patiently, proffering her come-and-get-me look that she had no idea she directed at him. Her sweater exposed part of her shoulder and a small lock of her hair rested on her creamy, ivory skin. Overwhelmed with his need for her, he couldn't resist touching her there.

"You are so beautiful," he said rubbing her shoulder with his forefinger, lessening the distance between them because he needed to be closer to her. Even with her so near to him, she seemed too far away. She looked at his hand and then back to his face.

"You make me feel beautiful," she replied, taking his finger and kissing it between her wet lips just like she had that night on the beach. He tasted sweet and her tongue couldn't wait to explore more of him. He could already feel himself reacting to her touch and suddenly needed to get her inside his house. The stubborn door took an extra shove from his shoulder before it opened, which seemed to waste too much precious time. He had a hard time hiding his impatience.

She wrapped the hand she had kissed in hers. "We have all night, Jacob. There's no rush," she coaxed, making him follow her through the front door.

The house was still, and their breathing was the only sound that echoed through the dark kitchen. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when Jacob pulled her close to him in the middle of the room. He slid his fingers tenderly in her hair and pulled her lips to his. He let out a tortured moan into her mouth, pulling away _;_ he wanted to remember every detail of this moment with her.

"I can't believe I have you here all to myself," he whispered into her neck as he continued kissing her there. His hot breath tickled the wetness he left behind.

The only sound she released was a whimper as she grabbed the back of his neck. The way he spoke with his rough, low voice left her breathless and her legs a little shaky.

Jacob, needing to taste her lips, lifted her body so could reach her. The rhythm of their tongues consumed them and soon the room spun around them and neither one had their bearings. Their hands were everywhere, suddenly desperate for one another. His lips were on hers again and he found himself moving their bodies blindly to the nearest surface he could find, wanting her soft body pressed to his. He underestimated his strength and the force that he moved Nessie across the room. She relished his touches on her face and his forceful but gentle kisses and soon felt a hard surface on her back and then a subsequent sharp pain.

"Ouch!" she said, trying not to scream as her body was forced into the handle of the refrigerator.

Jacob propelled his hands onto the fridge, attempting to absorb some of the shock caused by his forceful forward motion, causing the appliance to shake beneath his grip. He glanced down to make sure Nessie was okay. He didn't mean for them to hit the fridge like they did. He was just trying to kiss her and got a little carried away. Then he looked up to see a deluge of cereal boxes falling on the two of them; one by one, little bits of round cereal streamed on them and onto the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Ness," he said quickly. He watched Nessie closely and worried that she would be angry at his carelessness, but his fears were soon relieved. It didn't take long for her to begin laughing. It started out a small giggle, but then it emanated outwardly from her gut. Once she started, she couldn't stop. She slid her body down to the floor, burying her head in her hands. He couldn't help but follow her lead and laugh, too. He knelt beside her on his knees. Cocoa Puffs crunched underneath his body.

Nessie dusted a few bits of the cereal off herself but then took one and ate it.

"I love this cereal," she said still giggling.

"It's my favorite. Guess I didn't close the box very well," he said, trying to keep himself from cracking up. "'This isn't exactly what I had in mind for the night." He took a piece of cereal from her hair and flicked it across the room. She rose to her knees, took another Cocoa Puff and brought it close to his mouth. Her body touched his as she took her free hand and wrapped it around his neck.

"I kind of like it," she said. He opened his mouth, and she fed him the cereal. His tongue lingered on her fingers, and she felt the tingle it left.

"Mmm. That's good. Do you have any more?" he asked. She glanced around and found one clinging to his shirt. She took it and slowly brought it to his open mouth but then popped it into her mouth before he could eat it.

"Oh, I see how you're going to be," he smirked, looking at her playfully.

"It's my favorite cereal, too. I don't like to share." She smiled, watching his eyes surveying hers, lustfully gazing at her body. He chuckled to himself as his roaming eyes settled at her breasts. She watched his eyes, studying how they looked at her, and she started to notice the goosebumps forming all over her skin.

He lowered his lips to the swell of her breasts, placing his palm at the curve of her arching back. She fully expected him to attack her breasts with his mouth and she waited to for him with closed eyes in anticipation. She heard Jacob's low, resonant laugh and opened her eyes to see what he found to be so funny.

She watched as his tongue licked up a piece of cereal that had fallen in her cleavage and shivered at a moment that should not have been humorous. The touch from his tongue was too brief, and she needed more. He gave her a menacing smile, and she looked at him incredulously with widened eyes.

"I don't like to share either, and that was the best fucking cereal I've ever tasted."

Jacob pictured this moment in his head differently. He saw himself sweeping Nessie off her feet and onto his bed, making love to her without any screw ups, and Nessie had visions of every romantic movie she had ever seen. However, the ideal of perfection they held in their minds for this night shifted to familiarity as they sat on the kitchen floor laughing and throwing cereal at one another. They were in love, and no matter what happened, tonight would be unequaled to anything they could ever dream up. The humor of the situation made the night more real to them, and that in itself _was_ perfection.

The Cocoa Puff incident helped ease the pressure of trying to make the night flawless, and the two of them would never think about cereal in the same way again.

"You liked that, didn't you?" she asked in a sultry voice, raising an eyebrow.

"You got anymore in there? That was really fun," he joked.

"Don't you wish." Nessie searched and adjusted her sweater, checking for any pieces of rogue cereal that might be hiding.

"I hate to disappoint you, but you ate the one and only one from down there." Nessie's hands raked across the back of his neck right at his hair line, enjoying the feel of short hair as she stroked it. He noticed just how a simple touch from her made his body want more. Her fingers seemed to tease him, spurring him on.

Every dream and fantasy he ever had sat right here, watching him longingly. Jacob shifted his weight a bit, pulling her to him. Her head cocked ever so slightly to the side, and she gave him a look, a look that made him forget himself but still knew exactly what he wanted. Her innocent eyes hid her intentions well, just showing a hint of lust. She was filled with happiness knowing she would finally get to make love to Jacob, but she felt a small twinge of apprehension at the same time, hoping to keep that part hidden. Seeing that eager look from her let Jacob know that the two of them needed to leave the mess of cereal behind and find their way to his bed. Everything about her turned him on, and he didn't want to stay out in the kitchen any longer.

He held her closely and fisted her soft hair in his hands. "Let's go to my room," he implored. She buried her head in his shoulder, and he breathed in her lingering floral scent.

"Okay," she answered, swallowing the nervous lump in her throat. The once dull ache in her body seemed to rouse and began to spread outward to every part of her body. The laughing that had once filled the room left and only the complete and quiet surrender to each other remained.

Nessie didn't speak as she let him lead her to his dark bedroom. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, and she felt his hand drop from hers as he walked to the other side of his bed.

A small canopy of light flooded the small room, and she could see more clearly—the dark furniture, pictures on the wall, and clothes all over the floor. She eyed his messy unmade bed, which enticed her more than any neatly made bed could. Just the thought of the essence of him being there, sleeping and dreaming, had her mind racing.

"Is the light okay?" he asked politely, gauging her response, making sure she was comfortable, just like he had done the entire night. She nodded. "I want to be able to see you," he added. He needed to watch her body and see it react to his touches. He couldn't keep her exquisite figure hidden in the dark. Nessie felt the blood rush to the surface of her skin. Jacob wanted to see her while he made love to her. She didn't know why it made her blush because she trusted Jacob completely with every part of her body.

Jacob came back to her and touched her chin, tilting it upwards, then kissed her lips as he hooked a finger through her belt loop, pulling her closer to the edge of his bed. He sat on the foot of the bed and brought her between his legs. She needed him to lead her tonight, to show her and teach her, but at the moment all she desired was for him to touch her. Her hands rested on his shoulders, and she pulled his head to her chest, standing close to him.

He inhaled her scent and felt the softness of her body. He felt a pool of excitement flooding his brain just thinking about what they were about to do. His strong hands rubbed her hips as he exhaled all the air from his lungs. He inhaled again, needing to have every part of her inside him. Her smell intoxicated him.

Nessie felt his hands gather her sweater and watched as he pulled it up her body; she raised her arms, helping him take it off. Her tank top came next. He slid his fingers under the thin material, pulling it away from her body. It fell to the floor beside her sweater, leaving her in her sheer, purple bra. Jacob sat at eye level with her alert breasts and brought his head to rest on them. He took just a moment to gather himself, becoming overwhelmed realizing that this was really happening, and she had chosen him. She teetered between feelings of euphoria and impatience, loving his unhurried touches but needing him now.

Jacob caressed her arms, leaving her bra on her body. He wanted to savor the look of her in her lingerie. He would love to have her bra and panties on the floor more, but it excited him on to see how the material clung to the smooth and perfect curves of her body. He watched as her chest heaved up and down, inviting his mouth to partake in their beauty, begging him to taste. His lips touched her skin over the fabric, grazing around each nipple, barely touching them with his tongue.

Nessie reveled in the sensations his mouth brought, and an uncontrolled spasm ran through her body when his lips trailed down her stomach, all the while unbuttoning her jeans. His hands dipped down between her pants and her panties, taking her firm rear end in his hands. He moaned when his mouth sucked on the curve of her hip, relishing her glorious taste on his lips.

If he wanted to kill her with his touches, he was doing it now; slowly and tortuously undressing her, sending tiny explosions erupting all over her skin.

Jacob moved her jeans down past her hips and thighs and to the floor. He left her small panties on for the time being. She quietly stepped out of her jeans, and his hands found themselves on her outer thighs grasping them, causing her arousal to dampen the lace there. His thumbs grazed her wetness, and he inwardly prided himself on making her feel that way. He had done his job.

Nessie's little whimpers were no longer coming out at intervals, she now cried out softly with every breath she took from the intensity of Jacob's hands and the way he caressed her. Her fingertips gingerly gathered his shirt at his shoulders, pulling it up. She needed his warm, copper skin to be on hers. He gladly helped her take of his shirt. She took his hands and pulled him up to her just as his shirt fell to the floor.

Her palms found themselves flat on his chest, and she used them to explore every inch of him. He watched as her delicate fingers moved across his chiseled physique. She traced each line of his stomach down to the muscled V that was nearly hidden by his jeans. She noticed the sound of his breath getting louder the further her hands traveled. Jacob's hands stayed restless at his side as he let her touch him and explore his body.

While her fingers lingered at the button of his jeans, she placed soft kisses to the curve of his neck. His musky, masculine scent wafted through the vicinity of her mouth. She yearned for him, by smelling him and feeling him. Her hands finally released the button of his jeans. She was able to remove them, giving her access to his body. Her hands found his butt, pulling him closer to her, caressing him there. She felt his hardness when she did and shuddered at the touch of that part of him on her stomach.

"I need to be with you," he murmured as he pulled her up his body, lifting her off the floor. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, readying herself for him to move her to his bed. He crashed his lips to hers, holding her tightly to his chest. Before he carried her to the bed, he expertly unclasped her bra in one motion. She helped him removed it and hurriedly pressed her naked flesh to his fiery skin.

"Ah," he moaned when their bodies connected. They drifted to his bed never parting their lips from each other. His tongue playfully found hers, and he smiled into her mouth because he just couldn't help himself. She made him happy, something that had been lacking for so long.

Jacob set his knee on the mattress and released her body from his, placing her head on one of his pillows. He didn't move for a moment, taking in the way she looked. He watched as her arms fell loosely above her head, and her knees stayed together as she shifted both of her legs to one side. She watched as his hand ascended from her neck down her body between her breasts. Her eyes closed as he explored her skin. He ran his hand down her stomach, which almost covered it entirely. Then he made his way to her panties and brushed her center with his fingers, watching her writhe beneath the gentle touch.

When his touching ceased, her eyes flew open, not wanting him to stop making her feel so good. Nessie was calmed as she watched Jacob sliding her panties swiftly from her body. He placed them on his dresser, hoping he could somehow keep them tucked away for himself.

He placed his hand between her legs and felt her again, open and exposed to him.

"God, Ness," was all he could say. She felt so good underneath his hand and could only imagine how much better she would feel once he was inside her. He bent down over her, kissing her stomach and listened to her laugh—he'd obviously found a tender spot. He kept his hand gently moving up and down on her center and soon let his mouth descend down her body. He dipped further down to where his hand was moving over her.

Jacob knew how her skin tasted because his lips had explored it many times. He loved the salty but sweet taste that was distinctly hers. Her mouth had its own special flavor that he had become dependent upon, relishing it on his lips. However, there was another spot on her he hadn't discovered with his mouth yet. He had to taste her, knowing that he could become addicted to it with just one try. He brought a finger up to her clit and let his tongue take over.

"Oh, God!" she breathed, when she felt his mouth on her slit. She had never felt anything like this and had to remind herself to breathe as he moved his tongue all around her. Her hands dug into the sheets on his bed, not being able to keep herself still. His mouth felt amazing, and she opened her legs more inviting him in. She watched him as he kneeled on the floor beside the bed. She felt his tongue glide back and forth, consuming her body with pleasure.

Jacob lingered at her center, savoring every taste he found. His finger continued to move over the same special spot, and her hips began to rock with his rhythm. He found satisfaction in watching her move, and he slowly but steadily worked to ensure her release.

Soon she felt herself climbing higher as his mouth worked its magic, not even fathoming how this time could be better than the last time, but it was. She hummed a moan as she rode the wave that had taken over her body. His tongue kept pulsating, and his fingers kept moving. Nessie arched her back as the wave peaked, and she curled her toes as the euphoric feeling continued.

He knew she was coming and watched as her breasts moved in sync with her heavy breathing. He saw her gathering the sheets in her fists and heard her moan and repeat his name. He felt satisfied knowing he had caused her to feel this way. He had made her come, but his body still ached and could only be remedied by her.

"Jacob," was all she breathed as he licked his lips, tasting her again. Her voice called out to him, beckoning him to continue.

He moved up her body, finding her one of her breasts and began rolling his tongue around her taut peak while kneading the other between his fingers. He moaned in satisfaction with her as he worked his mouth over one of his many favorite spots on her body. Her body became his wonderland, and he couldn't help but devour every part of it. Nessie's lips found his when his mouth finally made it up to hers, and she tenderly bit is lower lip. She then took his mouth with hers, kissing him deeper.

She surprised him when he felt her hands on his boxers, softly tugging them down his hips. Jacob lifted himself up off her just enough to help her take off his last piece of clothing. Even though she had been satisfied by him, Nessie still needed more. She wanted to experience him filling her and all the feelings that came with it.

She lifted the material of his boxers over his erection, and her heart fluttered when she saw him completely naked for the first time, becoming mesmerized by his perfection. Her hands couldn't help but touch the part of him that had been hidden beneath his clothes. She took him in her hands, causing him to shift a bit. Nessie kept her eyes open, wanting to see him. His hands tangled her hair, as she stroked him like she was memorizing every part of him.

Jacob thought he could go slowly tonight, taking his time with her. He wanted to make every touch deliberate and every kiss meaningful until the moment he entered her. He wanted so badly for her to remember him being gentle with her, taking her cues at how slow or fast she wanted to go. However, his patience went out the window when he felt her hands on his erection. The gentleman quickly became tired of being chivalrous. He touched her hands, asking her to stop without using any words. He loved her touches, but he urgently needed something more. His body needed to be inside hers and feel her. Jacob needed her now.

"Is something wrong?" she asked eying his hands on hers.

"I want you now, Ness," was all Jacob said. He reached over her and dug in his dresser drawer, pulling out the protection he vowed to never be without again. He ripped the package with is teeth and slipped on the condom as fast as he could. Nessie laid back on the pillow, watching him and sensing the urgency in his desire for her.

Jacob placed his arms on either side her face, taking in the beauty of her eyes and the wide-eyed innocence her face revealed. He felt the significance of this moment for her, looking into that face. She would make love to him for her first time, and he would be the one changed for good.

Jacob positioned himself in between her legs moving to just the right spot. He remained still, not wanting to alarm her in any way. He would feel her on the very tip of his erection ready for him. Her thighs tightened on his hips, trembling slightly.

"Are you okay," he asked, taking his hand to brush the hair off her face, sensing she was scared.

Her eyes searched for his and locked on them finding the deepest part of them. How could she be so nervous and scared about something she was so ready for?

"Mm m hmm," she whispered back. Before she let him proceed, Nessie quietly spoke, "I love you."

He stroked her hair one more time, smiling.

"Ditto," he said.

"I'm having a moment here with you, and you say _ditto._ What the hell is that?" she uttered, half-way serious.

"It's from an old movie. We'll watch it sometime. It's supposed to be romantic," he said trying to make her believe that it, in fact, was a romantic line.

"Really? I guess I have to see it. What movie is it?" she asked.

"Um, I love you and all, but can we not talk about movies right now?" he asked impatiently. His body twitched, hurting to be inside her.

Nessie laughed at him and pressed her lips to his, grazing his back with her hands. Jacob kissed her back but still didn't move, waiting for her cue to begin.

She whispered _please,_ letting him know she was ready.

Jacob pushed himself into her slowly. He could feel her stretching all around him. He had never felt anything as good as he felt now. He moved out of her and back in a little further, reaching deeper inside her as he did. _Fuck!_ He laid his head on her shoulder, hoping to stifle the exploding thrill he felt. He knew that right now his immense pleasure was her pain. He couldn't allow himself to show his enjoyment until he knew she was okay.

The nails from Nessie's fingertips dug into Jacob's back. Even though he moved slowly to try and ease the ache, there was no lessening the inevitable. She had never been with anyone, and making love to a man with Jacob's size would have to hurt. She didn't want him to stop, so she tried to hide the pain from him. She felt his hot breath on her shoulder when he entered her again. She tensed up again to lessen the hurt.

He pushed in a little further, and her mouth lightly bit his shoulder. She stared at the ceiling and bit her lower lip, feeling the burning sensation spread further out from her. A small, hurtful moan escaped her lips when she couldn't hold it in any longer. Jacob stopped immediately.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked, knowing the answer.

He wished he could skip the beginning of this and jump right to the part where they would make each other dizzy from the high they would most certainly bring to each other. Instead he had to say _fuck_ in his head, hiding the fact that she felt so good while her nails drew blood on his back.

"Ness, let me know you're okay," he asked, looking in her eyes. He saw a small amount of moisture pooling, but no tears ran down her cheek.

"I'm fine, Jacob."

"You don't look fine. We can stop, baby." God knows how those words escaped his lips, but they did.

"I'd rather feel a little pain that not be with you," she said honestly. Jacob didn't look convinced. "Please don't stop."

Nessie took her hands and tightened them on his rear end. She gently urged for him to keep going. Jacob's body moved with the urging of her hands and filled her completely with one last thrust. Nessie let out a hushed gasp and stilled herself below him. It hurt her so much, but then there was a hint of enjoyment that caught her by surprise and wanted that feeling to intensify.

Once he filled her, Jacob's eyes shut, and his face contorted, feeling immense pleasure. He no longer could keep himself quiet.

"Fuck," he said without even thinking. "Ness, oh, God! You are...so...so..." He tried to speak but couldn't finish telling her how good she felt or how amazing the sensation of being this far inside her felt. Only he had been here and only he would be the one to bring her pleasure this way. He found it hard to control himself.

Nessie slowly began to roll her hips below him, and he happily followed her lead. The pain slowly dulled and gave way to the small intervals of bliss. His body moved in and out of her, gaining a slow momentum. Her wet arousal made it easy for him to maneuver, and her tight walls did nothing but send shock waves throughout his body.

His length hit a spot that caused her to yell out. Jacob realized that she had begun to enjoy herself, so he picked up his pace a bit. He hoped he could last long enough to help her find her release, but it would be hard because making love with her for the first time was all her needed to be driven over the edge.

Jacob moved his hand up one of her thighs, pushing her leg higher and shifting her hips just enough that caused him to hit another pleasurable spot. He felt himself teetering very close to coming, and he needed her to come along with him. He realized in the midst of moving in and out of her that he needed to see her. He wanted to watch himself glide in and out of her. He needed to see her round breasts move up and down as he watched her reach her orgasm.

Jacob took his arms and placed them behind her shoulders. He pulled her up to his chest as his sat on his knees. He kept himself inside her, not wanting to leave her warmth. Jacob felt so alive and so right being here with Nessie. Any other woman he had ever been with had been erased. Only Nessie mattered now.

He sat her on his lap and watched her eyes show the quick range of emotion from surprise to pleasure. He put his hands on her hips, anchoring her on his body.

"How's this?" he asked, hoping she felt everything he did at the moment.

"So good..." she held on to his shoulders and began moving on him. "A little faster, Jacob...please," she pleaded. Nessie couldn't contain herself. Jacob was sending her to another plane of existence. She knew making love with him would be good, but she had no idea _how_ good it would be. She felt enveloped in him. With every movement, she climbed higher and higher. She had no idea how much more she could take before she exploded.

"Whatever you need, baby," he said. He would give her everything she desired.

He helped guide her hips up and down his length. She had no idea what she was doing; she just tried to follow his lead. Jacob's eyes fixated on her breasts and their movements with every thrust. Nothing could turn him on more than watching her body react with his. No one could make him feel this way but her. He engulfed one breast with his mouth, tickling it with his tongue. He felt himself become harder within her when she let out a cry of pleasure as he played with her nipple.

"Ness, what you do to me." Hearing her high-pitched moan set him off even more. Her voice, her body, and her warmth all culminated into him getting so close to diving off into the deep end.

"Jacob!" she breathed. The intensity of him moving inside her began to build. She moaned again, and he pushed her harder up and down on him. She opened her eyes to see his burning at her. She could tell that his pleasure was rising, too. Nessie listened to the beautiful moans and breaths he took each time he pushed himself in and out of her. Then suddenly, her body began to fly.

"Jacob, I think I'm...I'm...oh..." She felt everything tighten inside her and around him. "Jacob!" she screamed as if in pain.

"There you go, baby," he coaxed while feeling his own approaching climax. He squeezed his eyes shut, moving his hips faster but not fast enough. She said his name again in between her cries. "God, Ness," was all he could say. His was coming, too, and the room spun around him. He found himself giving one last push while his body pulsed a few moments more.

Nessie felt his warmth inside of her and didn't move, wanting it to be like this forever.

They both pulled each other close at the same time, feeling the each other's panting breaths. She buried her head in his neck, and he kissed her tenderly on her shoulder.

Completeness. Jacob now knew Nessie was a part of him. He couldn't be whole without her. Making love to her extended the way he felt for her to encompass so much more than he could fathom. Love wasn't a strong enough word for what he felt.

Jacob held her so close that she couldn't help but feel safe with him. She had given him everything, and wanted to give him so much more. She knew she was young and had never been with anyone but him, but she knew that Jacob would be it for her.

Nessie kept her face hidden, becoming aware of how much of herself she let him have.

"That was unbelievable, Ness," he whispered in her hair. He ran his hands up and down her arms, feeling her skin and the light layer of perspiration it held.

"Really?" She felt a little insecure of herself. She wasn't his first. He had others he could compare her to.

"You were amazing," he said, sensing her timidness. "I plan on doing this with you over and over again, if you'll let me." He took her hand with one of his hands and had her look at him. "I mean it. It was the most mind-blowing sex of my life."

She shyly gave him a crooked smile and brought her face to his, pausing before she kissed him. Nessie took a small breath and told him she loved him again. His lips returned the tender kiss.

"I love you, too, Ness. Don't ever forget that," he said. The way he said those words gave her tingling sensations all over her skin.

She would never forget.

~o~O~o~

You guys have to let me know what you think. Was it as good for you as it was for me?


	19. Starlight

**Starlight**

 **"Our hopes and expectations.**

 **Black holes and revelations."**

 _ **Starlight**_ **by Muse**

Jacob collapsed on top of her with one last rough thrust and let out a guttural moan, riding out his release. He then placed his head on Nessie's shoulder, feeling completely relaxed and suddenly tired. It took him a few seconds to get into control his breathing.

She slid her legs down his body after having them tightly wrapped around him for the last part of their lovemaking. Nessie, whose heart felt like it were beating out of her chest, raked her hands across his back and felt the perspiration. She enjoyed the feeling of him laying on her like this; she felt complete and satisfied. He purposefully stayed inside her, and she realized that she hated it when he left. She relished how their relationship had taken on a whole new dimension. Something infinitely amazing had opened up between the two of them, and she finally felt a love that gave her something beautiful in return.

Nessie felt completely exposed but protected with Jacob; she had never given this much of herself to anyone. Her walls had built up for so long, that Jacob's love was all it took to slowly start tearing them down. Everything between them had been stripped down, and she felt at peace with it. It seemed like nothing could ever come a take this feeling away.

"What time is it?" she asked. She ran her nose across his heated shoulder smelling him, breathing him in.

"I have no idea, but the sun is barely shining. It must be early," he said while he nipped at her ear. "You're going to be the end of me, you know," he joked. His body was utterly exhausted, running on pure adrenaline, but he would make love to her again without hesitation.

"How's that?" she purred, knowing exactly what he meant. She ran a finger across his strong cheek bone, tracing it with her finger.

"You woke me up before the sun came out and attacked me." He smiled, showing the part of him she fell in love with first. "I need my rest, woman," he growled. He playfully took her ear in his lips again and ran his tongue across her lobe making her shiver. "You make it very hard to rest."

"Well, this is the first complaint I have heard. You seemed fine a few minutes ago. In fact, you seemed more than okay," she giggled, taking her fingers and sliding them lightly down his spine. She heard him sigh.

Jacob couldn't have cared less about sleep; he just had to give Nessie a hard time because she initiated their last little romp. He loved the fact that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. It thrilled him knowing that this connection could lead into a very active, sexual relationship. Not only did he love this woman who laid underneath him, but he was also able to share an intimacy that few had the pleasure of experiencing. He had Nessie's love, and she had his. The mind-blowing sex was a bonus, a tremendous bonus.

Jacob placed a few tender kisses on her lips and remembered how she had woken him up not too long ago. His eyes opened to Nessie's naked body already on top of him. She straddled his middle, kissing and sucking on his neck and shoulder while she moved herself over him. The tips of her breasts tickled his chest, and his mind took only moments to shake off the grogginess it felt. His body hardened while he still slept, instinctively reacting to hers.

When she had whispered _I want you_ in his ear, it didn't take him two seconds to roll her over onto her back, grab a condom, and enter her for the third time that night. It was quick and urgent, completely different from the first time.

Now he laid on top of her, reveling in her embrace. Their kiss ceased and the two lovers smiled at each other. It was worth battling every obstacle and every interruption to get to this point. He gently and reluctantly rolled off her and got out of bed. She watched every step he made. The way his muscles bowed and angled as he moved kept her body tingling. She was now able to admire him, not just his broad chest and sculpted abs when he didn't wear his shirt. Nessie now saw all of him, the perfect parts that had remained hidden under the low-rise jeans he wore so well. While he left her side, she didn't panic because she knew he'd be right back. He just had to clean up a bit.

He sauntered a bit cocky back to the bed and pulled her to him, spooning her. He cupped her breast with one hand and rubbed her thigh with the other as he melted his body into hers. Just being close to her like this could get him going...again.

So lost in their own little world, they both jumped a little when they heard Billy's voice cursing outside Jacob's door.

"Dammit. Who made this mess?" Billy said angrily. He didn't have to yell to let Jacob know he was unhappy. "Son, you need to wake up and get out here _now_ because I am not cleaning it up." Billy began banging on Jacob's door.

"I don't like coming home to cereal all over the kitchen floor crunching under my wheels. Besides, what the hell where you doing here last night...ah, hell. Even the cereal boxes are everywhere..." Billy's mad voice trailed off, beginning to grumble.

Jacob pulled the covers up over Nessie and sat up in bed.

"Dad, I'll clean it up. Just give me a minute, 'kay?" He got out of bed and started to put on some shorts.

They both snickered a bit thinking about how they left the kitchen in such disarray. Nessie didn't think the night would have gone as well as it did if it weren't for the cereal.

"I wish you didn't have to get up. I just want to stay in bed with you all day," Nessie whined, gathering the blanket between her hands. She then ran her fingers through her hair, and Jacob had to stop dressing for a moment. Her simple movements dazzled him, and he realized he was going to have to get used being constantly stunned by her. He finally found words to speak.

"Staying in bed with you sounds nice. We should try that soon," Jacob said. "Like tonight."

"We'd have to get a room or something. Less interruptions," she said motioning her head to Jacob's bedroom door. "We kind of have a track record with getting interrupted."

"I'll remember that." He turned to leave, but before he was able to get through the door, it swung open.

"Dad!" Jacob yelled, surprised by his father. "I said that I was coming!" He tried to block the door, so Billy couldn't see the red-head in his bed. He knew his father didn't care, but Jacob was very private. His father seeing Nessie still looking like sex wasn't something Jacob wanted, mostly for her sake.

"I just needed you to..." Billy trailed off. His eyes darted around Jacob's large frame and saw Nessie in the bed. "Um, sorry, son. I, er, will leave you alone." Billy wheeled himself to where his back faced the bedroom. "I need to tell you that Charlie will be here early to help with the fish fry. Figured you'd want to know. Oh, and hello, Nessie." Billy greeted her in his gravelly voice.

Jacob looked back at Nessie and smiled. His father had never bothered him about his love life. Jacob knew that Billy really liked Nessie, so her being here this morning wouldn't be a problem—a stark contrast to if he would have been caught in Nessie's bed by her father. He would probably be dead, shot to death and left out in the woods for the wolves and other wild animals to devour.

"Hi, Billy," she said shyly. She couldn't believe Jacob's dad had seen her with her bed head, smelling like Jacob and the love that they had made. She was embarrassed realizing that Billy had seen her and knew she had spent the night. Luckily, she had drawn the sheet up around her, so nothing had been exposed. That would have been humiliating. She did thank her lucky stars that Billy hadn't walked in ten minutes earlier.

"I'm going to my room to rest for a minute. Stayed up too late at Charlie's watching the game. His couch isn't too comfortable to sleep on. Just get this mess cleaned up before Charlie gets here," Billy requested. Nessie heard crunching under his wheels as he left the kitchen.

Jacob shut the door and got back in bed with Nessie. He'd have to drag himself away from her today because he didn't want this time together to end. He brought her to him as he laid beside her. Her face looked at his, and they sat in silence for a while. She moved her body closer to his, just needing to feel his warmth. Their legs intertwined with one another's.

"Do we have to get up?" she asked.

"We do, but that doesn't mean I want to," he replied, stroking her backside. He kissed her lips that were swollen from their night together. "Maybe one more time before we have to go clean up the mess I made?" he suggested playfully.

She hated to deny him anything, and part of her body said yes. However, there was another part of her that needed to recover. She had started to feel sore and hated that her body did this to her when she wanted to be with Jacob.

"I want to so badly, but..." she stopped from embarrassment. She hid her head in his chest.

"What is it, Ness? Are you okay?" he asked genuinely worried.

"I'm fine. I just hurt a little. That's all. I'll need a little time to, um, heal, I guess. I hope you're not upset," she said in a muffled voice, not looking at him.

He hugged her tighter and kissed her hair. "Why would I be upset? It's not a problem. We'll have plenty of chances to do this again." He knew he pushed it a little bit having her three times in one night. With him being her first, he should have known he would her hurt. He silently kicked himself for not taking better care of her.

"I am so..." Jacob started to apologize, but Nessie cut him off.

"If you apologize to me, I'm going to scream. You don't ever have to say your sorry for doing something with me that I have agreed to. I wanted this as much as you did. So don't act like you did anything wrong, okay?" she said forcefully. She looked him in the eye, hoping he understood that she meant what she said.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I just don't want you to hurt. Ever. I feel the need to keep you safe all the time. I can't help it, so you'll have to deal with me being overprotective."

"I can deal with that. I always feel safe around you. You do a pretty good job at it. Plus, no one wants to mess with a guy your size."

"You do," he joked.

"Well, I'm different. I know how to handle a guy like you," she jested, wagging her eyebrows at him.

He rolled on top of her and raced his mouth to hers. They roughly kissed one other, getting lost in each other again.

"You do know how to handle me, and that scares the hell out of me," he said when he came up for air.

"I scare you. How?" she asked concerned.

"I don't know. You just do. It's like I have no control over anything in my life, and it all revolves around you. I've never had that with anyone because I'm usually the one in control, and that's not the case with you. I just love you so damn much, that's all."

"If it makes any difference, I'm scared, too." The uncertainty of her life now frightened her. What would her dad think about how serious her relationship with Jacob had become? How would she handle school, track, the sorority, and the life her father had mapped out for her? The list of worries went on and on. Jacob had turned everything she thought she wanted upside down but in a good way. Her start to redefine her life would be hard at first, but it would pay off in the long run.

"So we're both scared. At least we're both on the same page," he said as he kissed her cheek.

~o~O~o~

Nessie stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel. She slowly dried off, somewhat lost in her own thoughts. She hadn't thought much about the fish fry today because she and Jacob had been quite preoccupied. Spending the night with Jacob had kept her thoughts from her grandfather. Now that she was alone, they came full force and overwhelmed her clouded mind.

She came out of her thoughts when she heard a gentle tap at the door.

"Hey, Ness. I have some clean clothes for you," announced Jacob. She wrapped the towel around her body and opened the door. He stayed in the doorway not taking his eyes away from her.

"Damn, if I would have been here a little earlier, I would have gotten to see you without that towel," he said laughing.

"You've seen my naked all night," she whispered, hoping Billy wasn't around.

"Well, if it were up to me, you'd be naked all the time." She laughed at his comment, blushing a bit and then took the clothes.

"Are you sure these will fit? I can wash my clothes from last night, you know," she said glancing at the jeans and sweater he picked out of Rachel's stash.

"I didn't think you'd want to be in the same clothes. People might wonder. I know you don't like a lot of attention," he said.

"Oh, I didn't think about that. Everyone is coming today...I forgot." She then became aware that all his friends would know what happened last night, regardless if she changed her clothes or not. Jacob and she never made it to the beach after her failed attempt at cliff-diving. It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

Her eyes widened with fear, and she panicked at the thought of his friends knowing. What would they say to her? How would they act?

Jacob quickly assessed her anxious mood.

"Ness, they won't say anything. If they know what's good for them, they'll keep their mouths shut," he said.

"I guess I'm just not used to this part. People have sex all the time and don't make a big deal about it, right?" she said, trying to make herself believe that it wouldn't be a big deal.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it, okay? I'll kick anyone's ass who dares to tease you," he reassured. She leaned into him, and he brought her to his chest. "What I _would_ worry about is that towel," he joked, lightening the mood and getting her mind off her fear.

"What about it?" she wondered.

"I'd worry about how securely it's wrapped around you. I might use my super strength and rip it off you," he teased.

"You are such a boy," she laughed. Nessie punched him in the arm, knowing it didn't hurt. She loved how he reassured her, making her forget her worries while making her laugh at the same time.

"I am and proud of it." He teasingly tugged at her towel, and she grabbed onto it tighter.

"Get out! So I can get ready," she said raising her voice a bit. She tried to push him out of the bathroom. She failed miserably because he didn't budge.

"You are too big!" she grunted. Her feet were sliding, trying to get him out the door.

"That's what she said," was his retort and sad attempt at humor.

She enjoyed the playfulness that the two of them shared. She couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone that she didn't like as a friend, as well. Nessie never laughed with anyone like she did with Jacob.

"That's was a very bad joke!" she exclaimed. She soon decided she would have to try a different approach.

She stood on the tips of her toes and pulled his head down to meet hers.

"If you want to have me in the near future like you had me last night, then you better get out," she purred, softening her voice enough to get his attention.

Without a word or a fight, he stepped out of the bathroom and shut the door.

She felt a little powerful, realizing it was the first time she used sex to get what she wanted. It worked like a charm.

~o~O~o~

The oil in the huge fryer warmed up out in the front yard, and Billy had the fish in a big Igloo ice chest ready to be breaded and fried. Jacob was setting up the lawn chairs when Nessie emerged from the bathroom. She brushed her hair, trying to get out the tangles in her curls while she watched the two men through the front window.

Her thoughts drifted back to Charlie, and she began to panic again. What would she say to him when she saw him? How would she act? Would she immediately fall into his arms and cry, or would she demand answers right away? She didn't have time to think about it and plan like she was used to doing. Today she would be flying by the seat of her pants, which she didn't know how to do very well. Her life had been so structured that the unknown of this meeting made her feel out of control.

Her hands began to shake. She gathered her thoughts and found a kitchen chair on which she leaned. At that moment the door opened. She grasped the chair tightly a little frightened by the unexpected interruption.

Her eyes darted to the door.

"Hey, are you okay. You look like you've seen a ghost," Jacob said concerned.

"I'm starting to freak out a little bit. That's all," she said taking deep breaths to keep her from hyperventilating.

He quickly made his way behind her and wrapped her nervous body in his arms. She immediately felt her body calm down, and he seemed to keep her from splintering into pieces.

"It's okay. You have nothing to worry about. Charlie is the greatest guy; he's easy to talk to and get along with." He then took her hands and pried them off the chair and intertwined his arms with hers.

"You shouldn't be nervous. Why don't you help my dad get the batter ready? Maybe that will help you not worry so much," Jacob's calming voice continued to help reel her in from getting too worked up.

"I can do that. If I stay busy, it'll keep my mind off things. What do I need to do?" she asked, switching into work mode.

He showed her where all the ingredients were stored, gave her a few more instructions, and then headed out the door.

"I gotta go get the firewood," he said giving her a quick wink. "Remember, it'll be all right." Then he was gone.

"Okay, Ness. Let's get all this stuff and take it it to Billy. You can do that, can't you?" she tried giving herself a pep talk. She loaded her arms with the cabinet full of things for Billy and headed to the door. She tried to open it and realized a bit too late that she probably should have taken two trips.

The corn meal fell out of her arms and dumped all over the kitchen floor.

"Shit!" she screamed in frustration.

She set down the other items grumbling to herself that she needed to work on not being so clumsy. She scanned the room and found the broom between the fridge and the wall, laughing just a bit at what happened last night when Jacob had rammed her into said fridge. That moment would be forever seared in her memory because it preceded the best night she'd had thus far in her short life.

She finally swept the mess into a pile and bent down to finish the job by getting everything into the dust pan. Her back was to the door when it opened again.

"Jacob, my klutziness strikes again. We might have to go to the store because I ruined all the corn meal," she said as she stood up.

"That shouldn't be a problem. I can hop in my truck and get some more," a voice said.

The voice wasn't Jacob's, as she had assumed, but it was one that she recognized. From the deep recesses of her mind, she dug up the familiar sound of the rough voice that filled her early memories.

It was Charlie.

Nessie's body quickly became wobbly. She lost control of her hands and dropped the dust pan, spilling everything all over the floor again.

When it clanked against the hard floor, Nessie stared at it for a bit, collecting her thoughts. She knew he was coming, but she didn't expect him now—not when she was in the middle of cleaning up a spill. She wasn't ready. She thought she was, and suddenly she wanted to take back her false confidence.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Charlie awkwardly said. "Here, let me help you clean it up."

Her body stood frozen in place, and her throat was suddenly dry and unable to form sentences. He looked exactly the same. Nessie studied his face intently, noting everything. There were distinguished wrinkles on on his brow, and there were crows feet around his eyes from squinting too much in the sun. He had grayed, even his mustache was salt and pepper colored. He still looked as handsome and rugged as she remembered him.

Her cheek suddenly felt a ghost touch as she recalled how his mustache would tickle her when he would kiss her there. It always made her laugh, and her grandfather would do anything just to see his granddaughter smile.

She touched her cheek again, still unable to speak.

He had changed from the young police officer into an old man. She felt an anger inside her build. She hadn't been there to watch him age. How she wished he could have seen him as the years passed, watching his hair change from dark brown to silver. The resentment grew towards her family and their unknown fight, wondering how she would forgive them for separating her from Charlie. She missed so much, and the betrayal felt like a knife in her heart.

Charlie bent down and took the dust pan and began using the broom to get the corn meal contained. He cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with this situation. _Does he know who I am?_ she wondered.

"So, you must be Jacob's new girlfriend? Billy's hasn't told me much, but he said that I would like you. I'm Charlie Swan," he said with authority, standing up. He stuck out his hand to shake hers. "Most people call me Chief around here."

She swallowed, hoping it would help the dryness she felt. She reached out her hand to his and tried to speak. It sounded raspy and soft.

"I'm Renesmee, but most people call me Nessie."

His eyes narrowed and studied hers and soon recognition of the girl who stood in front of him crossed his face. He shook his head a bit but didn't leave her stare. His grip on her hand tightened, and he breathed several shallow breaths as Nessie waited to see what would happen next.

"Do you know..." He cleared his throat, covering his mouth with his free hand. He seemed to be choking on what he was trying to say. "Do you know who I am?"

Nessie, still speechless, nodded her head with a reluctant motion at first, and soon it became a more fervent one. She felt the warm tears streaming down her face.

"I know you're my grandfath—" she topped before she finished. Grandfather was too formal and didn't fit how she felt about him. Even though it had been years since she had seen him, she became a little girl again seeing her grandpa. "You're my grandpa. My Grandpa Charlie."

He stifled what seemed to be a quiet whimper.

"God, kid. You have no idea how long I've waited to see you." He pulled on the hand he held onto firmly and tugged her to him. He hugged her, welcoming her back into his life. A nostalgic smell of Brute aftershave hit her nose, and she smiled through her tears. It was funny how such a simple thing as after shave could bring about the intense emotions she was feeling at the moment.

"I've missed you," she managed to say.

"I've missed you, too, kid," Charlie said in a hoarse voice.

They shared in their moment a little while longer just hugging and crying with one another. Neither one spoke; they seemed to be getting used to the newness of their reunion. The initial feelings of shock gave way to relief as they both cried.

Charlie kept patting her shoulder, saying, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

When Nessie's sobbing stopped, they didn't know how much time had passed. They released one another and quietly wondered what to do next.

"I need a tissue," Nessie whispered and found a box of Kleenex sitting on the counter tops as if it had been placed there for her, knowing it would be needed. She had to grab a handful of tissues to wipe up the mess that her sobbing had caused.

"You have your father's hair, but, my God, you look like your mother...you look so much like her," Charlie whispered.

"You look the same, just a little different hair color," she said smiling.

Charlie chuckled at his granddaughter's observation and grabbed the back of his neck with his hand, surveying the floor.

There was an awkward silence between them. Nessie didn't know what to do next. There was so much to say but nowhere to begin. She started crying again, and Charlie comforted her by hugging her.

"There, there. It's okay. We're going to get through this together," he paused. "So...you and Jake, huh?"

"Yeah. It's kind of strange, isn't it?" she said.

"You have no idea. Whenever I stop believing that there is a God, He comes in my life and makes something like this happen. Then I begin to think that maybe He's out there after all." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "The two of you used to play together when you were little. How the two of you found each other again, I'll never know, but I have to believe there's a bigger force out there making these things happen."

"Jacob told me about the two of us when we were little. Gotta love mud pies," she joked. There was so much she wanted to know, and hopefully he'd be open to telling her. "Grandpa?" she asked. "Can I ask you something."

"Anything," he answered.

"You know, they never told me why things happened the way they did," she muttered as she wiped her tear- stained face. "I want to know. Will you tell me?"

"Oh, boy. Are you sure you want to know? You might need to ask your mom and dad first," Charlie said.

"I really don't think my parents are in the position to help me with anything right now. I don't think I'd get any answers either. I've tried. Mom won't answer, and Dad just threatens. You know, the usual," she said, throwing her arms up in an I-give-up motion.

"All right. I'll can tell you, if you really want to know," he confirmed..

"Yes," was her simple answer.

"Why don't we go for a drive? We need to get some more corn meal anyway, and we can talk. How does that sound?" he asked.

"That sounds nice," she answered. Getting to talk one-on-one with the man she hadn't seen in years sounded good, but she couldn't keep from asking one of questions that had gnawed inside of her for years. "But first will you tell me one thing, Grandpa? What started this whole mess?"

Charlie took a deep breath and opened the front door. He motioned his head to his truck that was parked in the drive.

"Nessie, go get in the truck. I have to explain to you how your father abandoned your pregnant mother, and it's not gonna be pretty."

It was at that moment the truth that had been hidden in the shadows for so long slowly started to make it's way out into the light


	20. Kings and Queens

**"Into the night**

 **Desperate and broken.**

 **The sound of a fight**

 **Father has spoken.**

 **We were the kings and queens of promise.**

 **We were the victims of ourselves.**

 **Maybe the children of a lesser God**

 **Between heaven and hell."**

 _ **Kings and Queens**_ **by 30 Seconds to Mars**

The front door swung open and the screen door slammed into the side of the house, causing Jacob to take notice. He dropped the wood into the fire ring and watched as Nessie trailed Charlie to his truck. She folded her arms across her chest and had the deer-in-the-head-lights look he knew all too well. He lightly jogged over to the truck and intercepted her before she got inside the cab.

"Where are you going?" he asked, opening the door for her.

"Um," was all she could say. He noticed she seemed to be in a slight daze.

"Oh, Jake, we're headed to the store for some supplies. I'll bring her back. Don't worry, son," Charlie called out as he loaded himself in the truck.

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked. He held her hand and helped her up on the seat.

"I'm fine...more than okay. Don't worry about me," she reassured him. Her fingered squeezed his hand and let it go. She wanted him to know that she would be just fine, even though she would be hearing about her family's not-so-happy past. He shut the door and waved to her as Charlie pulled out of the driveway, feeling a bit apprehensive of letting her go.

He felt the constant need to keep her from hurting at all times, and he couldn't do that if she left. He also noticed that without her close to him, he started to feel incomplete. He knew he was whipped, but it didn't matter. He'd even tolerate the constant teasing of his friends because of it. Nessie was more than just some girl to him. No matter how far ahead he looked into his future, he always saw her there.

"Let her go, Jake. They need to talk alone. She needs to know the truth, and Charlie's the one who deserves to tell her." Billy seemed to come out of nowhere, but he didn't startle Jacob. Instead his dad's words encouraged him, knowing that the missing pieces of the puzzle would be falling into place soon. He just wasn't sure how painful it would be for her.

"Can you tell me what happened now, Dad? I want to know," Jacob pleaded with his father. He knew his father had every sordid detail stored in his long memory.

"Son, you know I love you and am open with you about everything, but this is Charlie's story to tell. Soon it'll be Nessie's story to tell you. She's going to come back here, and I'm pretty sure she's going to need a shoulder. That's where you'll come in, and that's when you'll find out," Billy said. Jacob didn't like his father's answer, but he respected it. His father had made a promise to Charlie to not talk about what had happened, and he wasn't going to break it. That's just the way Billy ticked.

Billy started to wheel himself to the house. He stopped short, spun around, and called out to his son.

"Jake, um, I know you're a grown man and have been for a lot longer than you should have been, but I need to ask you something."

"Yeah, Dad? What is it?" Jacob asked getting back to arranging the firewood he haphazardly threw down moments ago.

Jacob noticed that Billy looked uncomfortable and couldn't imagine why he would be so concerned.

"Are you two being careful?" he asked. Now Jacob understood Billy's wearisome demeanor.

"Of course, Dad," he answered without reservation. He never had any trouble talking to his dad about these kinds of things.

"Good. She's a great girl, and I like her very much, you know..." Billy trailed off.

"I hear a 'but' coming, right?" Jacob replied.

"Yeah. I just know her father, Jake. He's not a nice man, and I don't like him. I need you two to be careful and not just in the, um, bedroom. I don't need him causing problems again."

"Again? What do you mean...again?" Jacob asked.

"All I'll tell you is he's got a reputation...take care of Nessie when she gets back, son," Billy requested.

Jacob suddenly wished he had climbed in the back of Charlie's truck, so he could take care of Nessie. Jacob knew that his father liked everyone and always gave people the benefit of a doubt. He taught his son never to judge and to try and be tolerant of others. Jacob knew that for his father to not like someone, they had to have done something horrible.

 _What the hell happened all those years ago?_ Jacob wondered. He suddenly felt the need to chop some more fire wood and let out the tension that began to grow inside him.

~o~O~o~

"Would you like the radio on?" Charlie asked as the truck rolled along steadily on the winding road.

"No, thank you," Nessie said quietly, trying to keep herself from shaking too much. She could tell he was nervous, too.

They sat in silence for a good five minutes before Charlie started to talk again. Nessie still hadn't gotten over her grandfather's declaration of how her father had abandoned her mother. _When? How?_ So many questions ran through her mind, and she all of a sudden was too chicken to talk.

"Are you sure you want to know? I'm not going to keep anything from you, if you do," Charlie asked, breaking the silence.

She cleared her throat to get rid of the lump that had formed there. "I think I deserve to know everything, don't I?"

"Yes, kiddo, you do." Nessie glanced at her grandfather and saw his eyes that matched hers sadden a bit as they focused on the road. He scratched his head. "From the beginning?" he asked Nessie.

"Yes, from the beginning," she whispered and pulled her knees to her chest, settling in for the bumpy ride.

And so Charlie began the story, speaking in his gravelly voice.

"Your mother was a great student. She made straight A's and had aspirations of going to college. The typical dreams of a teenager like your mom. As a senior in high school, she worked two jobs, saving for her tuition. She knew that it would be hard to pay for school on just a cop's salary. Not only did Bella work at Newton's Sporting Goods during the week after school, but she also worked weekends as a waitress at a little coffee house near the campus. I think it's still there. Main Street Diner. Have you heard of it?" he asked.

Nessie nodded her head. "I've eaten there a few times. It's open twenty-four hours. I have pulled a couple of all-night study sessions there," she answered, already intrigued.

"Well, that's where your parents met. Your father set his sights on your mom and didn't relent. She poured him a cup of coffee, and he tipped her twenty bucks. She hated him because he seemed so smug and thought she knew his type. She just assumed he was like all the others who came in the coffee shop every day. She hated the rich boys who looked at her as if she were a piece of ass, pardon my language. That's how they treated her anyway. He wanted to prove her wrong, so he pursued her hard. She resisted at first because they were so different, but it wasn't long before his relentlessness paid off. Pretty soon they were inseparable.

I accepted Edward because Bella loved him, but I didn't like him. I think it's a rule that dads aren't supposed to like the boys their daughter's date." Charlie grinned after making that little remark.

"The rough part for all of us began when I walked in on them... _together_ in your mom's bed. I lost it. I about threw your father out the window he would climb through every night. I didn't know about that until later. Then I wanted to find my gun and use it on him.

Your mother didn't speak to me for weeks, being so angry with me, but I was infuriated with her, too. She technically was eighteen, but she was still in high school. I thought she was moving too fast with this older guy whose intentions I wasn't too sure about. She still made my dinner, did her homework, worked, etcetera. She just quit talking to me, and it hurt me that she chose to do so."

"Did they still see one another?" Nessie asked.

"Yes. As much as I wanted to forbid them from doing so, I knew I would cause more problems if I kept her from him. They just didn't come by the house anymore." He let out a deep breath. Nessie was sure the tough part was coming.

"The day that Bella finally talked to me was the hardest day for me as a father. I should have been happy that she spoke to me, but what she had to tell me shattered any hopes I had for her.

She ran in the house screaming out the front door before she slammed it, 'Screw you Edward-fucking-Cullen!' Boy, she was angry. She never cursed, so it shocked me when she did, and then she used the F word.

I watched her from my easy chair as she frantically ran up to her room, tripping on a few of the stairs. I remember being startled at how loud the door sounded when she slammed it. I can still hear her sobs in my head." Nessie noticed how remembering that part made her grandpa squint his eyes. Her mom's crying still haunted him.

"I knocked quietly on the door and let myself in. I wasn't going to wait for her to tell me to come in. She was obviously hurting, and even though I am not a man of many words, I wanted her to know that I was there for her.

'Bella. What's wrong, kid?'

'Nothing, Dad. I just need to be alone,' she cried with her head buried in her pillow.

That's when I saw an envelope on the floor. She must have thrown it down because the large amount of cash that had fallen out caught my eye.

'What's all this money for? Where did you get it?' I asked picking it up. I wanted to count it but I stopped myself because I didn't need to upset your mother more.

'It's nothing. Please go away!' she yelled at me. I couldn't let this one go. I didn't leave. Something terrible had happened to my daughter, and I needed to know what it was. I knew your father had something to do with it.

'Bella, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong. Did he hurt you?'

'No, Dad. He didn't hurt me, at least not physically,' she sobbed.

'Where's this money from? I know you and I don't have cash like this just lying around.'

Your mom stayed quiet for a long time. I was about scream at her and demand her tell me what was wrong. All my police training was coming into my head, and I wanted the truth. Soon I realized that getting a teenage girl to talk would be better if I didn't treat her like a criminal.

'I'm not going to be mad at you, Bella, and nothing you tell me will ever make me stop loving you or make me leave. Just tell me, kid, why you are so upset. I can't help you until you let me in.' I remember coaxing her. I wasn't prepared for what came next.

'I'm pregnant, Dad'

I don't know how long I stood there before I remember moving. I am sure she regretted telling me, but I was glad she had."

"With me? She was pregnant with me?" Nessie asked her grandfather, hanging on his every word.

"Yes, that baby was you," Charlie answered. Then he continued the story.

"'Pregnant?' I mulled the word around in my head, trying to get my brain to believe it. Even though I knew they were having sex, it just didn't cross my mind that my little girl could get pregnant.

'Yes, pregnant. I am two months along...I'm so scared, Dad.' She practically jumped from her bed and into my arms. It took me just a moment to hold her tighter than I ever had done before. I couldn't remember the last time we had hugged or just touched, for that matter.

'Bells, it going to be okay. We're going to get through this. I take it Edward knows.' I was pretty sure I knew what their argument was about.

'Yeah, he knows. That bastard,' she hissed.

'What a minute. Now what has he done to make you call him names?' I asked. If he were going to be the father of my grandchild, I needed to give him the benefit of a doubt.

She hesitated for a moment, but she finally divulged the truth about the money.

'That's the money for the abortion.'" Charlie paused. Telling that part of the story seemed to be troublesome for him.

It was difficult for Nessie to hear, as well. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach when she heard that word. _Abortion._ Had her father really want her...terminated? Just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach.

"Pull over, Grandpa. I'm going to be sick," Nessie said, grabbing for the door handle. Charlie pulled the truck quickly to the side of the road. She jumped out as fast as she could and vomited on the side of the road.

"I'm sorry, Nessie," Charlie said as he ran from the other side of the truck, trying to comfort her. He took out a handkerchief from his coat pocket and let her wipe her mouth with it. "The truth is tough. You said you wanted it. Do you want more?"

Her head felt woozy, leaving her a little off balance. She sunk down to the ground and leaned against the truck, letting the breeze cool off the sweat that had formed on her skin. _More?_ Could she handle more than what she already found out? Her dad wanted her mom to abort her? What could possibly be worse than that news?

Nessie knew she had to keep listening, as painful as it may be. She needed to know about her past and her parents. It would certainly give her insight to why they acted the way they did.

"You can keep going. Can we just sit her for a while? Being in the truck will make my stomach feel worse, I'm afraid," she said.

"Sure, kiddo. If you need me to stop, just let me know, okay?" He sat down next to her. They both looked straight ahead out into the huge trees that seemed to go on forever.

"I remembered my heart stopped beating for a minute, and I couldn't breathe when she told me what the money was for. I knew that an eighteen-year old getting pregnant was not the ideal situation a father wants for his daughter, but getting rid of the baby had never crossed my mind. It never, nor would it had ever, entered my mind.

'The what?' I remember asking her, stunned and unable to believe it or say the word.

'Edward says that if we are to be together, then I can't have this baby. He can't start med school with a _problem_ like this.'

' _Problem_? This baby is a _problem_ to him? Does he not realize he's not the only one here to make this decision?'

'I know, Dad. I love him so much. I don't know what to do. I am not sure I can live without him.'

'Can you live without this baby? I'm not making this decision for you. It's yours to make, but I just want _you_ to make it. Not him. This baby is inside _you_. Can you live with yourself if you get rid of this baby?'

She didn't answer me, and I became frustrated with her. 'Answer me, dammit!' I yelled.

'I don't know!' she yelled back to me.

I realized then that my window of her talking to me had closed. She shut herself down completely and turned her back to me.

'Get out, please,' she whispered to me, and I did. I had overstepped my bounds by yelling at her, and she shut me out.

We didn't talk again for another week or so. I desperately wanted to know what she had decided to do. I knew if she went with her heart, she would keep the baby. Your father had a huge influence in her life, so I also realized that her getting rid of you was a huge possibility, too." Charlie cleared his throat, obviously getting choked up dredging up the painful memories.

"They have all the money in the world. Why would it have been a problem for my family? They could deal with my mom being pregnant. It wouldn't have stopped my father from going to med school one bit," Nessie spat the words out, becoming infuriated.

"It wasn't your family, just your father. I don't know any more than that. All I know is that on a Friday afternoon, Billy and Sarah brought your mom home from the clinic. I didn't know she had gone. I thought she had gone to school like she always did.

I opened the door for all of them, and Sarah walked your mom to her room. Billy stood with me in the kitchen.

'We found out where she was this morning. I'm not telling you how I know, but Sarah couldn't let her go through with it, at least without it being her own choice.' Billy told me.

I could only assume Bella had told Sarah everything; they had always been so close. Sarah told me later that your mom looked like a lost little lamb curled up in the chair at the clinic. She was going to go through with it. She had filled out the paper work, paid the money, and was just waiting her turn. Your father didn't even come.

Billy told me that he let Sarah and Bella talk while he paced outside. They both emerged from the clinic in tears. Billy said Sarah knew that having little Jake and the twins had changed her life for the better and didn't want Bella to miss out on being a mom. Sarah had babies young, so she knew the struggles that came with it. Sarah always looked after Bella. It was hard on her not having Renee around. Sarah helped with all the things that I couldn't help her with. Jake's mom was like a motherly figure, even though she was only a few years older than your mom.

Sarah walked down the steps and the three of us vowed to help raise you and do everything we could for you. We couldn't let someone like Edward come in and destroy Bella's life. We had to do everything we could to protect her."

"How did my father take the news that she didn't go through with the...ab-abortion?" Nessie struggled with the word.

"Not well. He came to the house screaming at her, but she didn't let him in. I stood at the door watching him trying to talk to her from the front yard. He even had the nerve to accuse Billy of being the father," Charlie said, shocking Nessie.

"What? Why would he do that?" she asked.

"I don't know. Billy and Bella had always been close, growing up together and all. Edward was just grasping at straws. I don't think he knew what he was talking about. I think it gave him a reason to leave and be done with your mom. He left that day, and we didn't see him again for a long time."

"Oh...my dad left her pregnant with me. He didn't love me at all, did he? I mean, he didn't even want me." Tears came down, and she wiped them away with the palm of her hand. She felt betrayed for having a father who would do such a thing. Her relationship with him had never been wonderful, but she at least thought he loved her. Knowing how he treated her mom during her time of crisis made her even more angry with her father.

"I wouldn't say that, Nessie. He was young and stupid. Things change. You know he loves you now. It took him a little longer to find that out. He just went about it the wrong way. Once he realized he had acted selfishly, he wanted you," Charlie answered.

"Well then, why did he come back? I mean, he left her when she was pregnant. Wouldn't she hate him?" Nessie picked up a few rocks and rolled them around in her hands. She had to find something to do with her nervous energy.

"You would think she would hate him, but your mom struggled with him gone. It took a long while before he came back to her. She fell into a great depression and was hospitalized because she wasn't eating. It wasn't good for her to not take care of herself being pregnant. Your life was in jeopardy again.

Edward's father took care of Bella at the hospital. Edward was off at med school by this point, so I didn't know if he knew your mom was sick. Carlisle didn't realize that Edward was the father until later, much later. If he had known sooner, then maybe things would have been different for them because Dr. Cullen has a kind heart, as you know. I am sure he tried to pass that onto Edward, but sometimes parents can't make their children be who they want them to be...

Then you came a long..." Nessie glanced over to Charlie and watched his eyes dance a bit.

"You were good to your mom when she started her labor. You didn't make her work too hard. Six hours and out you came. You hardly cried a peep and did so only when you were hungry. You took to your mom like a bee to honey. Bella was reborn that day. Her depression lifted and her eyes shone again for the first time in a long time. I felt the same way.

You were even born with those copper curls on top of your head. You were beautiful. Still are."

Nessie had never heard much about her birth story, and she relished listening to her grandfather talk about it. She had only heard bits and pieces of it and realized why. Only her mother could tell her the story because her father wasn't there.

No one else ever talked about it because they weren't there when it happened either.

It made her feel a little more complete knowing the details of how she came into this world. She closed her eyes listening to Charlie go on and on about how special she was and how everyone on the reservation threw Bella a party, welcoming her little bundle of joy. She never knew there was such rejoicing over her, and that made her feel content.

"But Grandpa...how did we end up with him? What happened?" Nessie pleaded. She needed to know.

"Your father's sister, Alice, came to visit one day. Bella and she were kind of close, but they fell out of touch when the whole fiasco with your father happened. Apparently she had seen Bella around town with this little girl who looked like her brother. There was no denying who the father was in her mind. You had your momma's eyes, but when you were little, you looked exactly like Edward. Alice soon told the family, and they confronted Edward. They convinced him to see you.

He came to the house to see you for himself. Bella almost didn't let him in, but I told her she needed to let your father see you. You were a little over a year old...just starting to walk." Charlie became teary eyed when he spoke of Nessie as a baby.

"If I had known he was going to take the two of you away from me, I wouldn't have let your mom open the door."

"He took us away? How does someone do that? He didn't kidnap me or anything like that, did he?" Nessie asked. She wouldn't put kidnapping passed her determined father.

Charlie chuckled a bit. "No, no. He didn't kidnap you. Once he saw you, he knew he had made a mistake. He instantly fell in love with you. He couldn't stop apologizing to Bella. I think we had a million flowers delivered to the house over the next week or two with him groveling and begging her for forgiveness. It didn't take her long to do so because she never fell out of love with him. Soon they were married in a private ceremony, and you went off to live with him on the Cullen estate."

"So, what happened next? Why did my mom stop visiting you? What happened? It seemed like everything was falling into place for everyone." Nessie knew that her father had screwed up but the way Charlie spoke, things sounded like they were beginning to be good.

"Now, lots of reasons. Your dad isn't the only jerk in this story. Your mother forgave him, but I never did. I didn't let him forget for one moment what he had done to Bella. I also harbored resentment towards him for taking you away from me. I became a lonely old man. He tried hard to let my comments slide for a few years, but I just kept getting worse and worse.

If I could take it back, I would. Now I can see that he was providing for you. You had the best of everything with the Cullens. I knew I couldn't provide a smidgen of what they could. He doted on you and never denied you of anything. I just missed having you and your mom around. I helped raise you for the first year of your life. Then, he comes back, all is forgiven, and you're gone." Charlie started throwing the pebbles from the road into the ditch.

"But we visited you, right? I remember coming to your house, so we did visit," she asked.

"You did. You did visit...until..." he threw another rock harder, aiming at the trees.

"Until what, Grandpa?" she coaxed.

"Until I lost my temper with your father one day. My anger had reached its boiling point. I just couldn't let it go. How your mother forgave him so quickly, I didn't understand. I know now that what I did was wrong, but I felt justified at the time. It took me too many years to figure out that I was wrong. I said some pretty awful things to him that I'm not going to repeat. I'm not proud of what I said. Your mother heard every word and started yelling at me.

'Dad, what the hell are you thinking! Can't you leave the past alone? Can't you forgive him?'

'Every time I see him, I am reminded of what he did. I remember you and how much you suffered. How can I erase that from my memory? I will never forgive him!' I rarely raised my voice at your mother, but I did on that day. That's when your father got angry.

'Then you won't have to see me anymore, nor will you see your daughter or granddaughter. I am Bella's husband, and you need to accept that fact. Since you can't, you leave me no choice,' he said, never raising his voice. His tone took me by surprise. I knew he meant what he said because I heard it in his voice and saw it in his eyes.

He had a hold on Bella that still confounds me to this day. She packed you up in the car without a word to me. She didn't even yell at me to tell me how stupid I was being, like she normally would do. He told her they were leaving, and she followed his orders.

All of you left that day, and we hadn't spoken since. I figured she would come back and forgive me, but she didn't. I am sure she thought I would call and apologize, but I never did. I was too proud and thought I was right...

I had to watch you grow up from a distance. I've been to your graduation and some of your track meets. I could only go to the places where I would blend into the crowd. It wasn't enough, but it was all I had and all I could do. Time slips away, and before you know it, the granddaughter in pig tails is now nineteen."

Nessie reached out and held his hand. Knowing that he tried to see her made her love him even more.

"This whole mess happened because we adults were too stupid to keep our mouths shut and too proud to apologize. You deserve to have better than that. I'm sorry to have made you suffer because of my actions." He took her hand and squeezed it tightly and didn't let go.

"I forgive you, Grandpa. I know my father isn't blameless in this either, and my mom lost her free will once she returned to him. She misses you, but she's too drunk now a days to even try to make things right with you."

"Bella...drinks? No...she can't," Charlie stumbled on his words.

Nessie found it strange that he didn't believe her. For the better part of her life, her mom had slowly begun her dissent into alcoholism.

"Yeah, she does. I think she does it because of what happened between the two of you. She had to choose you or my dad. She may have gained the love of her life, but she lost her father in the process. I know it hurt her to lose you, and I'm sure my dad kept her from reaching out to you. Now all she does is drink..." The next part hurt Nessie to say. "I'm afraid something bad is going to happen, if she doesn't get help."

Charlie stood up and dusted himself off. Nessie had definitely struck a nerve when she mentioned her mother's drinking.

"Grandpa, are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you. I figured that you needed to know, since we're getting everything out in the open," Nessie said.

"No...no. I'm glad you're telling me. It doesn't make it less painful, though. She just can't end up like me."

"How would she end up like you?" Nessie wondered.

"I was a drunk, Nessie. That's how I coped with your leaving. I almost lost everything I had left because of it. It took me a long time to seek help before I got better...We need to get her help. I can't have her be like me," he said tearing up.

"I know. We'll figure out something to get her help. I promise." Nessie was now comforting him.

They stood together letting the wind whip around them. The trees began to sway in the distance, and Nessie started to feel a little cold.

Exhausted, Nessie needed to get her mind off of things for a bit.

"We better get to the store, Grandpa."

"Oh, yeah. We better go. Billy will wonder why we've gone being gone for so long."

He opened the door of the truck for his granddaughter, and she climbed in. Before he shut the door, Nessie spoke.

"Thanks, Grandpa. I know that wasn't easy for you."

He smiled at her, forming the wrinkles around his brown eyes.

"I would do it a thousand times over just to have you in my life again."

Charlie got into the cab, started the ignition, and pulled onto the road. Nessie noticed the sunlight breaking through the clouds. Maybe it was a sign of good things to come.

She sure hoped so.

~o~O~o~


	21. I Don't Wanna Come Back Down

**"What do you say...what do you do  
When it all comes down?  
'Cause I don't wanna come back down from this cloud...  
It's taken me all this time to find out what I need...  
I don't wanna come back down from this cloud  
It's taken me all this, all this, time."**

 **~I Don't Wanna Come Back Down from This Cloud by Bush**

Jacob reached into the ice chest a found the bottle of beer at the bottom. Colder was better, even if it was a little chilly on this fall afternoon. He popped the lid off with ease, using just his hand and the metal table that had been on the back porch for as long as he could remember. He didn't need a bottle opener.

"Jake, throw me one, bro!" shouted Paul. He sat around a small fire in a lounge chair. Rachel was on his lap with one arm around her waist. His free hand caught the beer with ease.

The fish fry had begun, and Nessie hadn't made it back with Charlie. Billy had extra supplies, so they began without the two of them. Jacob couldn't sit still. He drank his beer as if it were water.

"You need to sit for a minute!" Quil called out to Jacob. "Your pacing is making me nervous. She'll be back. The Chief's with her; if you ask me, she's pretty safe."

There were always two parties at the Billy's fish fry. The front yard was where all the cooking took place and where Billy manned his post. He greeted everyone who came and made sure they had what they needed. His coolers were filled with everything you could think of to drink, except for alcohol.

Since he'd been sober now for a few years, he made sure he had his part of the party alcohol-free. He and Charlie needed that. Charlie was Billy's AA sponsor after all. Billy wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for Charlie's help.

The younger crowd from the rez would set up at the back of the house. They filled their coolers with beer, beer, and more beer. Billy knew they needed their fun, but he didn't want it around him, so he always sent them to the back. The young ones would eventually mingle with the older ones once the food was ready. Billy was known around the rez for his fish, and everyone came out in full force.

"I hear you're looking for a new job?" Embry asked, directing his question towards Quil.

"Yeah, I am. I think I've got one, too. Dowling's garage is calling me soon to let me know," Quil answered. Claire sat beside him and had become a constant companion of his. She held her bottle of water in one hand and his hand in the other.

"When did this happen?" Jacob asked, having not heard Quil's recent change in career plans.

"Since you went and got your ass fired for breaking in the break room, if you know what I mean," Quil joked, elbowing Embry as he spoke.

"He's gotta find a new job before Sam does the same thing to him for hooking up with Claire," Embry called out to Jacob.

"Hooking up? What am I? A one night stand? I like to think that Quil and I are in a _relationship,_ Embry Call. At least Quil has a girlfriend. You just have your hand," Claire shot back, obviously perturbed at his remark about her "hooking up" with Quil.

The guys stifled their laughter as much as possible, laughing at Embry for getting yelled at by Claire. She was a pistol, and they all knew it. She was the type of girl whom Quil needed.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Jacob said, taking a swig of his beer while tapping his nervous fingers on the porch railing he leaned against.

"Well, I would have, but you managed to disappear last night when I planned on telling you." Quil winked, knowing the can of worms he just opened.

"Yeah, bro. Where were you? I seem to remember Nessie never made it to the beach either?" Paul chimed in. Jacob noted the huge smirk that Paul had on his face. They all knew where Nessie and he had gone, and they were going to give him hell for it.

"It's none of your business, and I suggest that you keep your mouths shut when Ness gets back, if you know what's good for you," he warned. He knew the berating would begin for him taking off with Nessie last night. He just hoped they wouldn't do it in front of her.

"all right, Jake. I just might have to take a few jabs at Nessie when she gets back. I'd like to see how many shades of pink she can turn," Quil said, trying to push Jacob's buttons. It worked.

Jacob slowly set down his beer, and walked over to his smart-ass friend. Quil braced himself for Jacob's wrath. No one threatened to mess with his girl, even if it were his best friend making the comments. He took Quil by the collar and was about to take him to the open part of the yard to beat his ass when he heard the voice of someone he hadn't heard in a long time.

"I see the two of you still haven't given up on beating up each other," she said.

Everyone around the fire hushed themselves at the same time, amazed at her nerve to show up here today.

"Reyan?" Paul said first. "Holy shit!" he said. "This isn't going to be good," he mumbled under his breath.

Jacob lowered the arm he was about to pummel Quil with and looked at the black-haired girl who dared to join the party.

"Hey, guys...hey, Jake," she said coyly. "I just happened to be back in town and thought I'd come by and say hi to everyone."

"You didn't care enough to say goodbye to any of us the last time you left, so why would we care if you say hello now?" Jared chimed in.

Claire watched the entire group of men glare at this girl who had apparently shown up unannounced. There was obviously no love lost between the guys and this girl.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, directing her comment toward Jacob.

"Not really. Don't think I have to," he said coldly. He released Quil with a push and turned his back to the long-legged Reyan. He walked back to the porch to find his beer. He really didn't need any old girlfriends making appearances today, especially her.

She followed, trying to talk to him. "I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but you could at least offer me a beer," she said.

Jacob kicked open the lid of the cooler with his foot.

"Here. Grab one." She reached down and took a bottle realizing this would be the most courtesy she would get from him.

"My mom insisted that I come with her today. I don't want to start anything. I figured I could at least apologize for leaving the way I did," she said, trying to make amends.

"A phone call last year would have been nice," Quil bellowed to the direction of the porch. Jacob shot him a _shut-the-hell-up_ look. It didn't take Quil long to realize that he better shut his trap.

"Look, Reyan, I don't really care about it. It was a long time ago, and I'm over it. Honestly, I'm fine. Just don't expect me to be nice to you. I may be over you, but I am not going to be calling you a friend any time soon, okay?"

Reyan had been Jacob's girlfriend before Nessie. They had grown up together and had naturally started seeing one another after graduation. She was the beauty and he was the brawn. Everyone thought they were the perfect La Push couple, but looks were deceiving. They didn't have that much in common and always fought. The one thing they did have was sexual chemistry. They were a horrible couple, but the sex was good—it was the only reason they stayed together for as long as they did.

Her leaving the rez abruptly, without even saying goodbye, made Jacob realize he didn't really love her. She satisfied a need for a while, but even then, he knew he needed more out of a relationship.

Reyan bent down to get a beer, making a few of the guys stare at her as she did. She knew what her tight jeans did to the opposite sex, and she seemed to bask in the attention.

Jacob looked away from her, wishing she had not come. He no longer had feelings for her, and her presence here today would only cause trouble. He had Nessie to worry about. He didn't need an ex girlfriend here at his house dredging up memories that he really didn't want to think about.

"You look good," Reyan said as she got uncomfortably close to Jacob by the porch railing. She touched his forearm and let her fingers linger there a little too long for his liking. He pulled his arm away looking away from the girl who obviously was trying to come on to him. He hoped she realized that her old tricks weren't going to work on him anymore.

He heard Paul clear his throat.

"Jake," Paul called out, getting his attention. Jacob glanced Paul's way and saw Nessie approaching. He jerked his body away from Reyan's unwelcomed closeness, but the look he got from Nessie led him to believe she saw everything.

Jacob left Reyan's side without any acknowledgment of her and made his way to Nessie.

"Hey, babe," he said when he got close to her.

"Hey," she responded, still eying the girl by the porch. Nessie got a look from Reyan that would strike her dead if the old saying "if looks could kill" were true, but Nessie shot a similar look back to the girl who dared to touch her boyfriend. She imagined the girl falling over on the ground convulsing a bit before she succumbed to the slow and painful death Nessie's look inflicted.

"Who's that?" she asked Jacob.

"Reyan. She's an old...girlfriend. She's uninvited, Ness. I tried to ignore-" Nessie cut him off before he could finish.

"I trust you," she whispered. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She placed her hand on his chest. "But I can still hate her, can't I?" she asked, making Jacob smile.

"Of course. You can join me in hating her," he said, taking her hand in his. They both walked towards the back porch.

"Can we go inside? I really need to talk to you," Nessie requested.

"Sure, sure. We can go to my room...more privacy there," he said, pulling her up the porch steps, not realizing they were within earshot of Reyan.

"Bedroom, huh? He always was insatiable. I should know," Reyan added, trying to make Nessie a little jealous of her past with Jacob.

Jacob squeezed Nessie's hand and said, "Just ignore her."

But Nessie couldn't. Whomever this girl was, she wasn't going to allow her to show up and make flippant comments about _her_ Jacob. Besides that, Nessie had just found out about the skeletons in her family's closet and really wasn't in the mood to put up with some girls' ludicrous jealousy.

"Yeah, I know he is...lucky for him, I like to fuck," Nessie said to Reyan as if she were talking about the weather.

The entire pack burst into laughter and watched Reyan's face respond to being put in her place by sweet Ness.

Jacob pulled her through the back door into the laundry room and hurriedly shut the door.

"Did you just say the F word?" he asked, not believing what he had just heard.

Nessie covered her mouth and acted a little embarrassed.

"Oh, my God! I think I just did. What just came over me?" she asked, surprised at herself.

Jacob pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Possessive Ness. I like it," he said proudly, too turned on by her to think straight.

"You know I'm not usually like that, but she made me so mad. I can't have her talking about you like that...you're mine, not hers. She needs to know that," Nessie explained.

"Baby, you don't have to justify yourself. I personally thought it was great, and the guys won't forget it, either. They don't like Reyan that much." The guys had remembered how her leaving affected their buddy and pretty much had added her name to their list of people to hate.

Nessie molded into his body and suddenly felt his warmth, which comforted the weariness that had enveloped her. Learning about her family's past had completely drained her body of any energy, and she felt exhausted. Realizing that her life was almost cut short at it earliest stage sent her body into a mild shock, and knowing about her father's initial reaction to her mom's pregnancy only made her feel worse.

The only thing keeping her from falling to pieces was the man holding her in his arms at that moment. She gripped his shirt with her fingers not wanting to let him go, and she quietly began to let out how she felt on the inside. She didn't sob or cry uncontrollably, but the tears flowed without ceasing. Jacob's shirt became damp, and she felt his large hand caress her hair.

Jacob tightened his embrace, feeling her tears. He hated to see her cry or watch her hurting. What he wouldn't give to punch whomever made her feel this way. Truth be told, he would love to punch Edward squarely in the jaw. He knew that her father had caused this to happen.

"Come on. Let's go to my room," he said. There was no hidden agenda in his statement. He didn't feel the need to get her in his bed again for any other reason than just to hold her. He lifted her up his body and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he took her to his room. This time he wouldn't be making love to her; he would just keep her close to him, wanting to take care of her.

And she knew that he would.

~o~O~o~

"Wow," was all Jacob could say. Words were not forming after hearing her story. He laid on his bed with her at his side; their legs intertwined. He ran his hand up and down the arm that laid on his chest. Her head rested where she could hear his heart beating. The soothing, rhythmic sound grounded her. She knew that as long as he held her, she would be okay.

She closed her eyes and realized that she had stopped crying. She didn't know when that had happened. Nessie told Jacob everything she had learned from Charlie. She mentioned how her father acted and how it affected her mother.

Nessie didn't resent her mother as much as she had before her talk with Charlie. She now knew her mom's drinking was caused by so many more factors than what Nessie had always believed. She just thought her mom didn't care enough about her to stop. Nessie now realized that Bella drank to ease the pain caused by losing a father and trying to fit into a world that was foreign to her. How out of place her mother must have been being forced into the Cullen lifestyle. They didn't exactly blend in well with the common people.

Her mom's only escape was drinking. Bella had no one to depend on who could understand her situation and what she had endured at the hand of the man who said he loved her. Her only support group had been completely shut out. The gin and tonics became a welcomed friend to Bella, but Nessie remembered that her mother wasn't always drunk. It must have started slowly.

Knowing that alcoholism ran in the family made her accept her mother's fate a little better; however, it didn't make her hate what her mother had become any less. It no longer surprised her that Bella had succumbed to the alcohol's power.

"I think you need to talk to your dad. Get it all out in the open and get help for your mom. I can't understand how he could allow her get so bad," Jacob said.

"I will. I just haven't figured out how I'm going to do it. It's not easy talking to a man that only has a one-track mind. He only cares for things to be his way. I just hope that his love for my mother will trump his need to keep her home and hidden away from the glaring public. He worries too much about what people think." She felt Jacob's hand rest on her hip. His touch there sent a tiny spark on her skin, which caused her heart rate to increase. She pulled herself closer to him, making sure there wasn't any space between them.

"I am sure, um, you'll be able to talk, ah, some sense into him," Jacob struggled to talk. He felt her body move closer to his and his mind turned off. He realized he began thinking with the lower half of his body and cursed at himself for not being stronger. She needed him to hold her and comfort her, not constantly thinking about getting her naked. His hand started to knead her sweater at the smooth curve of her hip.

Nessie couldn't help the way that she felt when she was around Jacob. Not but a few moments ago, she was telling him about her heartache and her family problems. Now all she could think about were his hands being on her, but then her insecurity took over and made her mind wander to the beautiful girl that Jacob had once called his girlfriend.

"She's beautiful," whispered Nessie.

"Who?" Jacob asked. His mind had long forgotten Reyan, and being with Nessie was all he cared about.

"Reyan. Is she Quileute?"

"She is. I wouldn't call her beautiful. Next to you, she's downright ugly," he replied. His hand rounded to her rear end, cupping it. His breathing increased from just touching her. The way she felt under his hand did this to him every time.

There was a pull they shared that he couldn't explain. The gentle tug he experienced when he was with her now felt like a giant push towards her body. He craved her and desired her unlike any other he had been with. Her insecurity was a mystery to him. How could she not see how desirable she was to him? Hell, the looks she got from the male population didn't go unnoticed by him. He usually glared at anyone who dared to look her way for more than two seconds.

"Does it bother you that I'm not...a Quileute?" She never worried about that fact before today. Seeing the gorgeous Quileute girl that Jacob had been with started sending a few doubts in her mind about where she fit into his world.

Dark eyes. Those were the only thing she and Reyan had in common; almost everything else about her was a complete opposite from Nessie. The difference in their hair, skin, and shape caused her to feel less than desirable to Jacob, a trait she wished would go away. Nessie was tall but not model-tall like Reyan. Her skin almost matched Jacob's, which was a sure sign of their shared heritage. No matter how long Nessie stayed in the sun, her skin would never tan. It would actually burn to a crisp without protection. Nessie did have her beat in the curves department, but Reyan had that annoying perfection thing going on that made Nessie wonder why Jacob could ever love someone so different.

"Are you seriously worried about her?" he asked, taking his body and rolling on top of her. Her legs naturally opened, welcoming him between them. She grasped his hair and found his smoldering eyes on hers. "I don't care that you're not Quileute. Do you care that I am?" he asked turning the tables on her.

"No."

"Then I don't know what you're worried about. Do you not remember what I told you the first day we met?"

Of course she did. She would never forget and would always remember the way he took care of her in her time of need and then professed to her that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

"I do. I forget that sometimes," she confessed.

"Don't forget it. You are more than just beautiful. Do you not know what you do to me?" he spoke softly but forcefully. His head bent down to her ear, nipping at it. Tingles were all she felt when he did.

"Touch me, Ness. I want you to feel me," he demanded.

"I am touching you," she said innocently, not knowing what he meant.

"No, _touch_ me. I want to show you what you do to me." He watched how her eyes suddenly realized _where_ he wanted to feel her touch. Without hesitation, her hands unclasped from his hair and ghosted down his back. Once she reached his hips, she stopped waiting for his instructions and unsure of what to do next.

"Unbutton my jeans. I need you to feel me." She quickly sucked in some air because she really did forget to breathe when he spoke to her this way. She didn't mind being told what to do by him. The way he almost growled the orders made her arousal heighten even more.

Her fingers did as he had instructed, and she took the initiative to undo the remaining buttons. She paused again, waiting. What started out as a simple request had turned into a little game.

"Now feel me. Take me in your hand."

She pushed her hands below the waistband of his boxers and found him hard and ready for her. He felt so smooth and warm. She remembered how this part of him felt inside her, and she let out a slight whimper, becoming overwhelmed with the images of last night and the way he had made her feel.

He had to take a deep breath because her touch made him lose focus of what he was doing. He wanted to succumb to the softness of her fingers on his body. He almost forgot the reason behind him commanding her to touch him.

"Do you feel how hard I am?" he whispered, and he heard her cry out a soft _yes._

"The way you look at me causes this to happen. You merely grazing my skin with your fingers does this to me. Anticipating your scent, your touch, your taste makes me hard. It makes me want you all the time...now, move your hand over me."

He groaned when she did as he asked. A primal part of him had taken over. He needed her to know that he loved her and wanted no one else. He didn't know any other way than to show her. Words would be insufficient. They would be empty and meaningless. But letting her see and feel how he felt about her made sense to him.

"No one else can cause me to feel this way. From the first day I saw you, it was over for me. Don't ever think anyone could ever compare to the way I feel about you." He hoped showing her how he loved her would make her forget about Reyan all together.

Without speaking, Jacob lifted himself slightly from her body, but she continued to slowly stoke him up and down. He found the button of her jeans and proceeded to undo it, almost popping it off in the process.

"How do I make you feel?" he whispered in her ear. Her hips arched upwards and greeted his hand as it slipped down under the denim. How could she even put into words how he made her feel? She loved him more than she knew was possible.

In the tight space between her lacy panties and her jeans, he maneuvered his hand enough to find its destination. She hummed a moan, and he let her cry be her answer for him. His hand found the spot it had been searching for and felt how her arousal had already dampened her panties. She couldn't fathom how he could affect her in this way, and she didn't try to figure it out. She loved how she automatically reacted to him. Her body was his, and she would let him do whatever he wanted to her.

"Mmm. You're already so wet for me," his low voice growled. Nessie shivered, realizing he had never spoken to her in this way. She liked it.

"Yes," she whispered, already writhing under his fingers. Her pace with him had increased from the excitement shooting through her body from his touch. His gentle hand moved the lace to the side and started caressing her. His eyes moved to hers when he heard her cry out. He knew that it wasn't a cry of pleasure. His hand stopped moving over her. He suddenly remembered something she had told him this morning.

"We need to stop, Ness." He wasn't going to continue, remembering their conversation. He needed to give her body time to recover from being with him last night. He didn't like that he had caused her this pain, and he certainly wasn't going to bring about any more.

Thrown off by his new request, she proclaimed, "Why? I don't want to stop. I'll be fine."

She didn't want to quit because the way he throbbed in her hand turned her on. She even began moving her hips, matching her strokes and had received a little pleasure from doing so. Her reaction to his touch was mixed. Yes, it hurt, but it wouldn't keep her from bringing him gratification. She knew the pain would subside and the pleasure would take over.

"We need to." He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. "We can't. Your body's not ready yet."

"Then let me help you," she begged, trying to move her hand up and down his length. He placed his hand on hers, making her stop. She became frustrated at him for not letting her touch him and help him find release that he obviously needed.

"I want to wait for you. Don't worry about me." At least that's what he told himself anyway. His statement would be easier said than done. He ran his nose along her jaw line and grasped the sides of her face in his hands. His thumb rubbed her cheek again. She closed her eyes, soaking in his gentle touches. He made her mad sometimes, but she had come to discover that most of the time he had her best interest at heart.

He settled himself between her legs. She felt the hardness pressing against her. _Damn soreness! s_ he thought as she felt the pain she had tried to ignore for most of the day. She bit her lip unknowingly and found his gaze upon her.

"You are so sexy when you bite your lip," he said. His tongue licked his lips, and her heart nearly leapt out of her chest.

"You are just sexy. Period." She lifted the corner of her mouth to a smirk.

Her arms wrapped around his back and she placed her lips between her teeth again, wishing it were his lips she was biting. Watching her play with her mouth made him unable to control himself. He needed to stop anything that might make him do something that would escalate this situation again, but she was irresistible. His lips were on hers, nipping and sucking.

She returned the passionate kiss pulling his head closer to hers. He tasted so good, and her tongue reveled in his sweet flavor.

They came up for air when they heard laughter from the party outside of his window.

"We better get out there before they start wondering about us," she said.

"Fuck," he groaned in displeasure, knowing she was right.

"You know, I grew up learning that that word was the worst word you could ever say."

His eyebrows rose at her comment.

"But the way you say makes me think it's the sexiest word in the world," she said smiling.

"Well, you saying itearlier made me want to take you inside and actually fuck you right there in the laundry room," he added.

"I want to try that soon."

"You mean making love in the laundry room?"

"No, Jacob...you...fucking me."

He involuntarily choked up a cough and knew he was the luckiest guy in the world.

~o~O~o~

"Okay, smile," Claire said, pointing the camera at Nessie and Jacob. "Say cheese!"

Nessie, who was sitting in Jacob's lap, had her arms wrapped around his neck. She titled her head towards his and looked at him. He was smiling at Claire, and Nessie heard the click of the camera.

"Wait! I wasn't looking at you," Nessie exclaimed to Claire.

Claire looked at the camera, studying the picture she just took.

"Nope. This one is perfect. I like that you aren't looking at the camera. It really captures the stupid look you give Jacob all the time," she teased. "I'll get it developed for you. I need to take one of Jacob without his shirt on for you, too. I'll make that one poster-size, and you can hang it over your bed."

"I don't see anything wrong with that," Ness responded.

"I'm not taking my shirt off for anyone but you, babe. The camera thing, well, we'll discuss that later," he said in his sexy voice only where she could hear. He bent his head and pushed her sweater down a bit and placed a kiss her on her bare shoulder. Chills traveled down her arm.

Claire snuck off in search of Quil in the dimming light of dusk. Nessie watched Claire's face when she spotted him. Nessie couldn't be happier for her friend and hoped soon that they would get to catch up with each other. There had been so many new changes in her life that she wanted to share with her best girl friend.

She sipped her Coke and listened to Seth play his guitar for everyone around the campfire. She nuzzled close to Jacob who had his hand lazily laying in her lap. Nessie observed her new group of friends. It hadn't been that long ago that she had met all of them, and now this group of people felt like old friends to her. She knew this was where she belonged.

"Holy shit! Anyone know who drives a sweet Mercedes?" Embry called out as he strode in from the front yard, chewing on his umpteenth helping of fish.

All eyes turned to Nessie, who realized that it probably was someone she knew. "Is it black with darkly tinted windows?" she asked Embry.

"Yep. I'm pretty sure the man and woman getting out belong to you, too. They're talking to Billy right now."

"Who's here?" Jacob asked Nessie. She stood up quickly starting to worry about what they were doing here.

"My Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. I am not sure why either," she said making her way to the front. Jacob followed closely behind her.

"Jaz?" Nessie called out when the two of her relatives came into view. She noted a look of concern on their faces. "Alice, what's wrong?"

Her uncle shook Billy's hand and excused himself. "I'm sorry to interrupt your party, Nessie, but your father said we could probably find you here."

"Dad sent you?" The reasons why her father would send Alice and Jasper out to La Push to get her confused her. It even frightened her.

"You didn't answer your phone or texts, so we had no other choice," Jasper said apologetically.

Nessie looked between Alice and Jasper curious as to what would bring them here.

"Something's wrong...just tell me," she begged Jasper.

"It's your mom..."

And Nessie's heart sank.


	22. She Talks to Angels

"She never mentions the word addiction

In certain company.

Yes, she'll tell you she's an orphan

After you meet her family.

She paints her eyes as black as night now.

Pulls the shades down tight.

Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes.

The pain gonna make everything all right."

~She Talks to Angles by The Black Crowes

Nessie opened her eyes and found her head laying in someone's lap. She evidently had curled up in the hospital chair and dozed off at some point in the middle of the night. She raised herself up and found that Rose had been her pillow and sat reading a magazine in the dim light of the room.

"Aunt Rose? When did you get here?" Nessie asked.

"About three hours ago. I let Alice go home to get some rest," Rose answered.

She surveyed the room and saw no change in the view from earlier in the night.

Her mom still laid unconscious in the bed with tubes and wires hooked up to her. There was a machine that made noises at all hours of the night, but Nessie didn't mind. As long as the machine beeped and hummed, she knew her mom was alive. She may be unresponsive, but Bella was still breathing.

"You know I'm really getting sick of reading about this couple," Rose pointed to a picture of two well-known celebrities in her People magazine. "I know they're in those movies together, but I really don't care if they're dating or not. I wish they would just leave it alone already."

Nessie let out a half-smile at Rose. Her aunt knew how awful Bella's condition was, but she wasn't one to wallow in the grief. Laughter was the best medicine in Rose's mind. If she took Nessie's mind off Bella's accident for a brief second, she had done her job. Rose knew that the family could be sad and worried, but they still needed to smile every now and then.

Smiling for too long wasn't an option to Nessie, though. Watching her mother lie motionless on the bed and seeing her father's face of grief was too painful for her. She couldn't smile in a time like this, but Rose's upbeat disposition made it difficult to stay sad for too long, which caused Nessie to travel back and forth between a myriad of her emotions. Her mother was badly injured, and being just a little bit happy would seem like a betrayal in her eyes.

A pain of guilt started to form in Nessie's gut. She had missed Bella's call earlier in the day. Nessie knew the call was to come get her, but Nessie had been too involved in all the goings on in La Push to bother with phone calls from home.

If I had taken the call...she repeated over and over to herself.

Her mother must have decided to drive herself home from her lady's luncheon at the country club when Nessie didn't answer. No one knows how many cocktails Bella consumed, but it was enough to cause her to lose control of her car on a sharp curve and crash into a ditch. She missed hitting a huge oak tree by a mere two feet. The crash totaled the front of her car and had deployed the airbag.

She had a concussion that caused some swelling, but Nessie's grandfather didn't seem too concerned. Her body was badly bruised from the impact with the airbag and a little burned from her seat belt. Nessie thanked God that her mother had worn it. Her injuries could have been much worse.

Carlisle told the family that if she had hit the tree, Bella would be dead.

"Where's Dad?" Nessie asked Rose.

"He went to pray," Rose said a little bitterly.

"Pray...really?" Nessie's family wasn't all that religious, although they were members of the Presbyterian Church; they attended sporadically, but their tithing didn't go unnoticed.

"He said he'd be back soon. I told him to bring coffee with him. Hopefully this hospital has something good. We can't live this close to Seattle to not have good coffee." Rose began to ramble, and Nessie knew that's what Rose did when she didn't know what else to do.

Bella's condition was stable, but no one knew the extent of her head injuries. Time would only tell, and the unknown bothered the entire family.

"How is he doing?"

"He's not doing well," Rose said, standing up to make her way to the mirror in the room. Nessie noticed that she had on her tall, high-heeled leather boots with her tight, skinny jeans tucked into them. Rose's black, cashmere sweater hugged her upper body. This outfit obviously was her "casual" garb. Rose and Alice were very different in looks and personality, but the one thing they did have in common was expensive taste. Neither one owned a sweat suit.

"So...how's that hunk of a man of yours doing?" Rose asked while checking herself in the mirror.

"Jacob's fine. He's great actually." Nessie couldn't help but smile when she began to talk about Jacob. She brought her knees up to her chest in the chair and began twirling her hair with her fingers. She couldn't help but think that a lot had changed in the last twenty-four hours. She had reunited with Charlie and had learned the truth.

The thing that had Nessie smiling was remembering the night she shared with Jacob. She traced her lips with her fingers, unknowingly, and looked out the window into the darkness.

Rose spun around from the mirror and leaned back on the sink.

"Oh, my God!" Rose exclaimed.

"What?" Nessie asked, being shocked out of her reverie. She hated that she kept thinking happy thoughts.

"You had sex!"

Nessie's eyes widened with shock and embarrassment. Her aunt was good a sniffing out these kinds of things, but Nessie didn't know Rose was that good.

"What makes you say that?" Nessie asked, trying to look innocent.

"Don't give me that look with those brown eyes of yours. You can't fool me. I am the expert at these kinds of things, and I know by the look on your face that you have been seriously fucked...so...how was it?"

God, could you be any more embarrassing? Nessie thought to herself. If there were anyone in her family that she could talk about these kinds of things, it should be Rose. Rose wouldn't care that she had lost her virginity. Rose would celebrate it and want to tell the whole world. She would make Nessie wear a sign that said, Hello, world! I've been fucked! Now get me a cigarette!

"Amazing," Nessie answered quietly, not looking at Rose.

"Amazing. That's all you have to say about popping your cherry with someone who looks like Jacob? You're going to have to give me more details than that. I haven't seen Emmett in over a week, and I'm dying. I need to hear about some lovin'."

"Oh, yeah. Emmett. When are you going to see him again?" Nessie asked, trying to keep the focus off her.

"I see what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work on me. You'll give me details or I'm going to..." Rose's eyes lit up and a deviant smile crossed her face. "..or I'll tell your father."

"You wouldn't dare!" Nessie yelled, throwing the first thing she could find at her aunt. The Kleenex box flew through the air and Rose ducked just in time.

"You little, bitch!" Rose called back. Then the two were laughing hysterically, throwing whatever they could find at each other. They avoided anything breakable, but everything else in the room was subject to be launched into the air at anytime.

"What in God's name is going on in here?"

Nessie and Rose froze and turned their heads to the door of the room. Rose hid the plastic cups she was about to heave at Nessie behind her back. Nessie couldn't quite hide the unused bed pan that she held in her hands.

"Sorry, Dad." Nessie set down the bed pan and began picking up the items that had been tossed on the floor.

"I can't believe the two of you. I leave for a little while, and you're acting like this while Bella is...is..." He stopped because openly talking about her being injured was too painful for him. He walked over Bella's bed side and took his position in the empty chair he had sat in all night. His head fell in his hands.

"Edward, don't be angry with us. We were just letting off some steam. The mood is pretty heavy right now, and if I didn't make Nessie laugh, she would be too overwhelmed with all of this," Rose spoke up, defending their actions.

"Honestly, Rose. I don't understand you sometimes. I don't need you making my daughter act this way. You're setting a bad example for her." Edward went back to stroking Bella's hand with his.

"Well, dear brother, it seems that that would be my cue to leave." She glared at her brother. Rose grabbed her designer purse and slung it over her shoulder. She ran her fingers through her hair a couple of times.

Before she left, she spun around and looked at Nessie.

"Details, my dear. They are mine. We'll talk later." She snatched the cup of coffee her brother had brought into the room with him.

And with a wink, she was gone.

Nessie didn't worry about Rose. She knew she would see her later. Right now, she needed to be with her father and mother.

"How's Mom? Any updates yet?" Nessie asked, moving to Bella on the opposite side from her father.

"She's good. Better than she was when they brought her in. Your grandfather and I seem to think she should be waking up at any time now," Edward spoke with a tightened jaw. Something seemed to be bothering him.

"There's something you should know, Nessie." His green eyes stared at the wall behind Nessie's head, not looking at her directly. "As soon as your mom is better...we're going on a vacation."

"A vacation?" The idea sound preposterous to her. "Why would we do that? Shouldn't we keep Mom at home and help her recover? I can't miss school or anything else either." Nessie couldn't understand why her father would be planning a vacation when her mother obviously needed time to heal.

"No, this trip is something we all need to do for your mother. She needs help," her father spoke in a sad, mono-toned voice.

The way her father looked when he said she needs help made something click in her head.

"What kind vacation are we going on?" Nessie asked.

"There's a rehabilitation center close to Lake Tahoe that's supposed to be the best in the country. We'll go there. We need to do this for her."

Nessie took her mother's hand and kissed it, never taking her eyes off her father's.

"I am proud of you, Dad," Nessie said through her tears.

"There's a lot of things I'm not too proud about, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back any longer and let this disease take your mother from me. I don't know what I would have done if...if..if we would have lost her," he said, kissing the palm of her hand. A tear slipped down his cheek.

Nessie and her father sat in uncomfortable silence until Edward broke their trance.

"Were you with him...Jacob..last night?" he asked.

"Yes, I was."

"You never came home. You didn't answer your phone. I can't have you out of touch like that again," he remarked.

Nessie didn't want her dad to find out any of the personal details from the night before.

"I just forgot, Dad. I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am," she responded, trying to convey how upset she was for not being there for her mom.

"Did you stay...all night with him?" her father asked. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't bear to look.

"I did. Only because we all stayed out so late, and I was going to go to Billy's fish fry the next day. It just made sense to stay over." Nessie hoped that her half-truth would work.

"Billy...hm..." Her father wrinkled his brow. "You've met Billy, then?"

"You know him?" Nessie asked, trying to play dumb.

"He knew your mother. I only know him from her. How much have the two of you talked?" her father asked. His jaw tightened.

"Not much. We've exchanged only pleasantries really, but I like him a lot."

Her father was silent.

"Um, Dad...has Jacob come by yet? I thought he would have stayed after dropping me off," Nessie wondered. She watched her father squeeze the bridge of his nose with his fingers, obviously not wanting to answer her question.

"He left." Her father's answer bothered her. She could sense something more to it from the tone in his voice.

"I need to call him, then. He can come stay with me up here for a while, can't he?" Her eyebrows lifted a bit, quizzically.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Edward responded.

"Why can't he come up here? Just for a little bit," Nessie pushed her father more.

"Nessie, he shouldn't be here right now."

"Why?"

"Let's just say he and I weren't pleasant to one another when he brought you here earlier," he said, starting to divulge the truth.

"What did you say to him?"

"I like how you automatically assume that I said something," her father said sarcastically. "I didn't like the fact that he had been with you all night, keeping you from taking care of your mother. I let him know that he was not welcome here."

Edward continued to rub Bella's hand, refusing to look at his daughter. Nessie became more infuriated listening to how her father had treated Jacob.

"You said what to him? It's not all his fault, you know. I had a part in it, too. When did you do this? I was here the whole time. How did I not see it?" She tried to control herself. She squeezed her hands into fists, trying to release the anger she felt.

"You were with Alice, and he came in later after parking the car. I couldn't have him taking you away from your family and causing you to shirk your responsibilities. I decided he needed to go and leave you alone with your family. That's when I asked him to leave. He didn't like it that much."

"I can't believe you did that to him. If you just give him a chance, Dad, you'd see how wonderful he is and how good he treats me. He loves me, Daddy. He truly does. I want you to see that." Nessie voice cracked with emotion building from her words. Her father didn't know Jacob and was punishing him for something that wasn't entirely his fault. She willingly stayed the night. He needed to blame her, too.

"I can decide whatever I think is best for you and our family. He's not our family, so he didn't need to be here. He's causing a change in you, of which I do not approve. You know this already." He finally looked her in the eyes.

"You don't know him. If you could just let him into our lives, you would see..." She was cut off before she could explain herself.

"Did you sleep with him last night?" Edward asked bluntly. His cold stare sent a shiver down her spine. She hated to lie to him, but she couldn't bear the thought of what would happen to Jacob if her father truly knew what Jacob and she shared last night.

"I...I..." Nessie stuttered.

"Answer me, young lady. I have all night. Did you sleep with him?" he asked again, perturbed by her indecision and reluctance to answer his question.

She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes to escape the look of disappointment he would give her when she told him the truth.

She opened her mouth, but the sound that came out was not her own; it was a raspy, soft voice.

"Edward? Renesmee?...What happened?"

And Bella awoke.

~o~O~o~

Nessie stood in the entryway, watching her father open the door. She saw Jacob leaning with one arm against the door frame with a look that showed he expected Nessie, not her father. His body straightened to an upright position, and his face became serious when he noticed Edward standing before him.

Nessie's father was shorter than he but was not a small man by any means. Something about Edward intimidated the hell out of Jacob. Maybe it was the fact that he was sleeping with his daughter, and he knew Edward really would castrate him if he found out. He obviously took his life into his own hands by trying to cross the threshold into the Cullen house tonight.

He knew Nessie's father could do some major damage to him just from observing the way Edward looked at him. There was something scary in those eyes.

"Jacob," Edward spoke without emotion.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen. Is Nessie home?" After he raised his voice to Edward at the hospital, he decided he would take the high road and be civil. It would be hard to make nice with the man who had done everything but throw him out of the hospital on his ass. He let Edward's rudeness go because he understood the stress he was under. Being in a hospital and having his wife unconscious caused him to say and do things he normally wouldn't.

When he stepped into the bright lights and white halls of the hospital, Jacob had to suppress his own flashbacks from being there on two other occasions. Each time, something tragic had occurred. His mom's death and father's near-death flooded his mind, nearly bringing him to his knees...again.

These experiences weren't good memories, and being forced to leave by Nessie's father didn't bother him too badly. The tightness in his chest left as soon as he hit the open air. He knew he'd see Nessie again, so he tried not to worry too much about Edward's outburst.

Edward stepped back out of the door way, motioning his outstretched arm towards his daughter who hadn't moved from her spot. He felt fortunate that Edward actually invited him in. Nessie wore a simple, cotton dress that she had chosen for comfort, not for impressing Jacob. She needed to be in something comfy with all the preparations for her upcoming trip. She couldn't count how many times she had run up and down the steps in her house to get one thing or another.

Nessie didn't mean to look sexy in the blue dress; she thought it was anything but. Jacob, however, took notice of how the thin cotton clung to her silhouette and how it was short enough to show off her defined thigh muscles but long enough to cover her modestly.

Edward, not speaking to Jacob, did not go unnoticed by Nessie, but her father actually let him in the house, so she wasn't going to say a word to him.

"I'll be upstairs packing. You two are not to go upstairs," Edward demanded, speaking to them like they were sixteen. "Your room is off limits, young lady. Do you understand?"

Nessie grabbed Jacob's hand and stood next to him. "We understand."

"Yes, sir," was Jacob's answer.

Edward headed upstairs and left the two alone in the entry way.

"Sir? When did you get all formal?" Nessie laughed, mocking the way Jacob spoke to her dad.

"When he can control when and where I get to see you, I'll say 'sir' to him all day; I'll kiss his ass in any way I need to."

"All right, Mr. Gentleman. Let's go pop some popcorn," she said as they headed to the kitchen.

~o~O~o~

"Which movie do you want to watch? We've got quite an extensive collection," Nessie asked as she surveyed the DVD collection that rested in the cabinet by the large flat-screen TV.

"I don't care. You choose."

"Are you sure? Because if you leave it up to me, I might have to watch Pride and Prejudice again. You know I have a thing for Mr. Darcy, and I recall you didn't like that too much the last time we watched that movie."

"Yeah, you're right. Do you have something that has guns and explosions in it? I need something with a little more testosterone. Jane Austen just doesn't do it for me."

"I'm sure you want to add topless women to that criteria, too," Nessie joked.

"No. Not really. I've got yours to look at and that's all I'll ever need."

"Jacob Black!"

"You sound insulted," he called out to her. "You should take it as a compliment. Okay?"

"Okay." Nessie decided to take his word for it and not make a big deal about his comment. She actually thought it was pretty cute.

"Now...hmm...let's see what we have." She turned to the collection of movies, running her finger across the titles as she stood on her tiptoes. She had invited Jacob over to watch movies with her, needing to spend as much time as possible with him before she left.

Bella had come home the day before after spending four days in the hospital. She had recovered fully from the injuries from her accident. She didn't stay home long, only long enough to get her things ready for her "vacation." She willingly decided to seek help after Edward's incessant urging. Once he started begging her to go, Bella couldn't refuse him. She came home, packed her suitcase, and left in a matter of hours.

Carlisle escorted Bella to the rehabilitation center, knowing that it would be best for Edward to come with Nessie later. As her doctor, he would check her in and make sure everything was taken care of for her. Carlisle wanted the transition to go as smoothly as possible for everyone involved.

The one thing that neither Jacob or Nessie discussed was her leaving. Nessie and Edward would be heading to Lake Tahoe tomorrow to be with Bella for an undetermined amount of time. Jacob didn't like to be away from her for any amount of time and not knowing when he'd see her again bothered him. He tried not being selfish because he knew that it was the only way her mother was going to get help. If Bella's life improved, so would her daughter's. He knew it wouldn't make him miss her any less.

Jacob couldn't worry about what was to come tomorrow. He had one last night with her, and he didn't want to ruin it by thinking about it too much. He wanted to relish every moment. Since their first time together, they hadn't been able to be alone enough to even attempt to make love again.

And he was dying to be with her.

He sat with his arms outstretched, where they rested on the back of the couch. He thoroughly enjoyed the view of Nessie from behind. Her calf muscles flexed when she stretched to reach for a movie from the top shelf. He had to consciously shut his mouth and wipe off a little drool that had formed after staring at her. Those runner's legs could always get him going.

She shimmied a movie out from its spot and flashed it to him.

"Die Hard it is," she said, turning around to catch him watching her. "It's a classic..." she trailed off when she realized the look he gave her seemed to bore a hole right through her.

"What?" she asked. "Jacob Black, why are you giving me that look?" Nessie reached her arms behind her back nervously, letting her fingers play with her hair. She hadn't gotten used to his lustful gazes yet. Just one of those looks from him caused her to become a puddle of goo on the floor.

Jacob didn't move or take his eyes off of her.

"I can't help it. How can one woman look so good all the time?" he truly wondered. He had seen her dressed up, as well as the first thing in the morning, and she had been stunning both times.

She blushed at his comment, still unable to control turning pink in front of him, but she didn't hesitate to show him how his gazing made her feel. He looked irresistible, as usual, sitting with his arms wide open as if welcoming her over.

She dropped the movie to the floor and walked to him and paused as she stood in front of him.

"Like what you see?" she asked running her finger down to the tip of his nose as his face tilted up looking at her.

"Always." His hands found themselves at her hips, bringing her closer to him.

Nessie placed her hands on either side of his jaw, watching his darkened eyes. She knew he could feel how much she wanted him from just her touch.

He moved the dress up her thighs slightly when he clinched the material in his grip. She heard him breathe deeply when his lips kissed her stomach through the material. His lips singed her skin and all she could think about was having him closer. Her father being upstairs totally disappeared from her radar, and she could not have cared less.

She straddled his lap when the pull to him became too great. She enveloped his head in her arms, running her lips up and down the side of his face, taking in the air around her in quick, short breaths. It became hard to breathe.

Jacob welcomed her on his lap and thanked the stars that he decided to wear his baggy, athletic shorts tonight. He immediately felt the contact with her and shifted just enough to put himself as close to her as possible. He had been hard for a while now and finally having her on him soothed the ache a little. He had been away from her all week, since the mess with her mother began and had been waiting for the moment that he could be with her again. He had fooled himself thinking that just watching movies with her would be all he needed.

He was wrong.

Now that her body sat right on top of him, he realized he craved her in the worst way. He, too, forgot that they weren't alone in the house. As usual, only the lower half of his body was thinking, and its thoughts were only about getting her naked.

Her lips and teeth grazed his neck, and he shifted his head just enough that she could fully taste him. She trailed her tongue along the curve of his neck, pulling his shirt over a bit to kiss his collar bone. Her body moved off his lap just a bit when she did so. He grimaced at the loss of direct contact and didn't like it one bit.

Immediately he scooped her up by her hips and gently threw her on her back onto the large, oversized couch. He tossed a few large pillows to the floor, making more room for the two of them. His shirt came off because if she wanted to kiss him, he would give her full access to his skin.

Looking down at her, he paused for just a moment. The beauty of her overwhelmed him and seeing more of her became his mission, and so he dragged his fingers up her body, taking her dress up above her hips as he did. His eyes roamed up her legs from the ivory skin of her thighs to what laid between them.

She wore nothing lacy or silky, but the pink, cotton panties made him lose a brain cell or two. It didn't take him long to place himself on top of her, devouring her mouth in a needy, passionate kiss. Her body hummed in tune with his, and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. Their lips continued to play with one another and he felt the euphoric pain when she bit his lower lip. He didn't mind that she liked to bite. He'd come to expect her bite marks on his skin.

Despite the clothing between them, the contact stimulated everything in her body. She knew he felt it too because a painful moan came from the back of his throat. She knew he needed to feel the electricity between them more, and that meant being inside her. Nessie pushed back into him and continued rocking her hips. One of his hands trailed down her body with the ultimate goal of removing her panties. She knew what he wanted when his fingers found their way under the cotton.

Her lips found his ear, "Please, Jacob. Just rip them off." The sooner he removed them, the better.

Her soft voice had such duplicity in it. It was the sweetest, purest voice he had ever heard, and he could never imagine that such a request would come from her.

He thumbed across her dampness, causing her to cry out, before he gathered her panties in his fist. His anticipation reached a boiling point. He needed her, and he needed her now.

"I think you need to get the hell off my daughter and the hell out of my house."

Fuck, shit, and dammit to hell! he thought. He knew this wasn't going to end well.


	23. Chasing Cars

**"If I lay here. If I just lay here.**

 **Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"**

 _ **Chasing Cars**_ **by Snow Patrol**

He was so close. He only needed a quick rip of her panties, and he would be home. It wouldn't have taken him long to release himself from his shorts and be with her. He only wanted to be inside her again because he craved the warmth of her body, and the sudden voice of her father had terminated all hope for any type of fulfillment tonight.

His balls had just turned deep blue.

"Dad! What are you doing?" Nessie yelled, jumping up from the couch. She adjusted the wrinkles in her dress, awkwardly pulling it down.

Jacob rested his head in his hands, and he then found himself nervously running his fingers through his ruffled hair. He wasn't ready to stand up yet because he didn't need her father seeing him saluting to the world. He also needed a moment to process what was happening. Knowing her father's temperament, Jacob realized this situation would not go well, and he needed to tread lightly. Being with Nessie depended greatly upon Edward's approval. If he didn't have it, he didn't have Nessie.

He often wondered if she would just leave her life at the Cullens' to be with him. He didn't have much to offer her, at least nothing like the life to which she had grown accustomed. He only had himself and his unconditional love to give. He may not have a lot of money, but she would never have to be anyone other than herself with him. He didn't feel the need to changed her or make her fit into a mold everyone else in her life seemed to try to do. He had a feeling that if she had the choice, she would choose him.

He knew he could survive for months with just one touch from her; and if he had her with him all the time, then he could live forever. The one thing that stood in the way of their happiness happened to be seething before him with rage in his eyes. At the moment, Jacob didn't have a clue how he would get out of this mess.

"I think I need to be asking you the same question," he growled, staring at his daughter. "I don't appreciate this kind of behavior in _my_ house, under _my_ roof," Edward hissed. "You need to go up your room, young lady."

"What? Are you serious? Am I thirteen? You can't send me to my room. I'm a grown woman, in case you have failed to notice," Nessie shot back, sending a look of shock through Edward. It only infuriated him more.

"You live in my house and you live by my rules. I don't care how old you are. You may not like them, but that is the deal. I never signed off on this...this... _relationship_ and I don't think I ever will. Nessie go upstairs _now!_ I will deal with you later," he ordered. Even though she was nineteen, he still treated her like a young teenager. Edward didn't know how to let his little girl grow up.

Nessie looked to Jacob, and he did the same. She didn't want to leave him alone with her father, but the confident gaze he projected toward her calmed her fears. He watched intently as she gave him a look of desperation, but he gave her unspoken reassurance that said he'd be okay. She walked towards the door of the den and turned, making one last plea to him, making sure he'd be okay if she were banished to her room.

He shooed her off with his hand and smiled. Once she made her assent up the staircase, Jacob reached down to pick up his shirt. He could feel Edward's eyes on him as he did.

Edward took a step towards Jacob and crossed his arms. Edward seem to tower over Jacob, and he obviously meant to intimidate the young man he found on top of his daughter.

"I said I think you need to get the hell out of my house. You shouldn't be here," Edward said in an oddly diplomatic tone. Then his voice lost the calmness it held, and his words seem to spew from his mouth.

"I don't want you touching her ever again."

Jacob didn't say a word and slowly stood, trying to comprehend what her father had just demanded of him. Now he towered over Edward. He tried to hold back an anger that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"I don't think you get to decide that... _sir._ " Jacob's voice sounded slightly condescending.

The corner of Edward lip lifted into a grin that eerily matched his daughter's. Nessie's smile, however, showed no malice.

"Oh, I can decide lots of things for her, and I know that you aren't good enough for my daughter. She is destined to do more with her life, and I don't need you getting in the way of those things."

"I know you don't think much of where I come from, but I do know that I plan on being something more, too. I have the opportunity to go to college and get that chance. I love your daughter and will do everything I can to make her have a life that she deserves." If he could only make her father understand how much he meant those words. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Nessie. Didn't Edward want that for his daughter? How many twenty-one-year-old males were ready to make that kind of commitment?

"I heard about your scholarship. You must have impressed the coaches quite a bit, but I am afraid that a mechanic turned football player isn't going to change my mind." Jacob felt the sting of Edward's words. He usually could deflect the kind of derogatory remarks people like Edward made, but tonight it was different. He had never felt ashamed of whom he was and from where he came. Somehow Edward made the six-foot-seven man feel two feet tall.

"Jacob, you need to leave, and I would prefer you do it sooner than later. I will not be held responsible for what I might say and especially for what I might do." Jacob noticed Edward's shaking. "If you don't mind, I need privacy to talk to my daughter. There are a few things we need to discuss."

Edward showed Jacob to the entry way and handed him his jacket. No thank you's were exchanged.

Jacob said nothing and decided that doing exactly what Edward said would be best. His only reluctance came from leaving Nessie behind. He didn't know what her father would say to her or how his anger  
would affect her. It pained him to leave.

Before Edward shut the door, Jacob turned and spoke bravely to her father.

"Don't blame her for what happened in there, Mr. Cullen. Blame me. It is all my fault," he spoke hoping his words would somehow help Nessie:

"Don't worry, Jacob. I already do."

The door shut in his face with a loud slam.

~o~O~o~

Nessie felt like she was eight-years old again sitting in her room waiting for her father to call her downstairs. She vividly recalled being young and awaiting her punishment after leaving the property without permission. Her father never let her explain that she needed to help the bone-thin, stray dog who looked cold from the rain. It had wandered by the front gates one day, and she spotted it from her window sill where she played.

Nessie always had a soft heart for animals, and doing nothing was out of the question. All Edward saw was his little girl in potential trouble and in need of rescue from the potential dangers that lurked outside the secure gates of their home.

She remembered how her father couldn't have cared less about the dog that Nessie tried to rescue. She neither saw the poor animal again, nor did she forgive her father for letting it get away. She never let go of the feeling of disappointment she felt towards her father that began on that day. Up to that point, he had always been a hero in her young eyes, but his super powers seemed to lessen. Since that incident, she felt helpless to stop him as he continued over the years to chip away any of the respect she held for him.

The pillow she held should have burst by how tightly she held it. Rocking back on forth on her bed didn't help sooth her anxiousness. She knew the moment of confrontation with her father would happen sooner or later, but now that it presented itself, she wasn't so sure that she could do it.

As a grown woman, she sat void of emotion for him. There was nothing left to chip away. He had taken the last piece. She felt an emptiness towards him that surprisingly calmed her.

She was done.

She imagined packing up her things after her talk with her father and never looking back once she left. Freedom seemed to be at arm's length, and she relished in the thought of living her own life.

"Renesmee, please come downstairs now. We have a few things to discuss," her father yelled. No matter how ready she was to leave, she couldn't shake the ominous feeling that had sunk into her gut as she made her way to his study.

Nessie reluctantly entered the study and only glanced at her father for a moment. The look was long enough to see a shimmer of red in his eyes. Nessie couldn't imagine how his green eyes could change so drastically.

"Please have a seat, Nessie," he asked somewhat nicely. She gingerly sat on the couch. He didn't waste time with pleasantries.

"What in heaven's name are you doing? Do you understand the ramifications that could happen with your behavior? Do you know what could happen if you follow through with what I just walked in on?" He sat down close to her, making her feel uncomfortable.

She looked at the floor and didn't make eye contact with her father. She wrung her hands together and swallowed, trying to keep her parched mouth wet. Nessie couldn't speak, faced with the realization that her father would soon find out the truth. She somehow needed to fight her fear. If she were to leave, she needed to put on a brave face on the outside, even though she trembled on the inside.

"Just how far have things gotten between the two of you?" he asked sitting in the chair that probably still had her dried blood on it from when she broke up with Tyler.

She continued to stare at the floor.

Her silence answered the question for him. _Damn it, Nessie...speak up! Grow a pair! s_ he scolded herself.

"You have already slept with him, then..." his jaw flinched when he spoke. His words trailed off, making Nessie more nervous.

"I know you are disappointed in me, but I am not sorry for what I have shared with Jacob. He has become the most important thing to me, and I won't apologize for it," she said relieved.

"I can't believe you. I can't believe that you would do something like that. Then attempt to do _that_ again while I'm here. That's beyond stupid, Nessie. Do you understand the consequences of sleeping with someone? Do you understand what could happen if you get a disease of some sort or, heaven forbid, end up pregnant? It's irresponsible."

The man who stood before her sounded like a hypocrite. How could he cast a stone at her?

"Don't you dare say that to me. You and Mom did the exact same thing, Dad, so don't give me a lecture and act holier than thou. Grandpa Charlie threw you out of the house, too, so don't act like you're a saint."

Nessie felt the burn from the fire that seemed to come from her father's glare.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"You heard me," she uttered quietly but strongly. She hadn't meant for him to find out that she knew about his past, but it came out anyway.

"The only way you could possibly know that is if you talked to..." He stood up from his chair and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"Do you mean Charlie?"

Her father let out a deep breath.

"I knew this would happen. I was hoping it wouldn't have gotten this far," he said as if he were talking to himself.

"What are you talking about, Dad?"

"Jacob. I'm talking about Jacob. If I would have kept you from him in the first place, none of this would be happening."

"I don't think you can control this part of my life. I don't want you to decide whom I love. It's not up to you," she said in an insolent tone.

"It is my job to protect you. I will not allow you to get involved with a boy, or a way of life, of which I do not approve. You are to be a doctor and marry someone who has the same goals and aspirations as you. I don't need you selling yourself short with someone like Jacob."

"Someone like Jacob? I can't believe you! You act like the way we live is better just because we have money. I would rather live with Jacob happily and have nothing than live here with you and be miserable. Do you want to know why? Because I am happiest when I am with him. I am loved by his family and friends, and it feels good." She began to cry, letting out her bottled emotions. "There's no judging or qualifications to be a part of their life. You have too many rules that I have to follow, and I am so tired of it." She walked over to the window and looked out at the rain that had begun to fall. She followed one of the droplets as it meandered down the window pane.

"Let's get one thing straight, young lady. You will not be leaving this house anytime soon to go live with _him."_

"You don't understand me and never will. I won't let you dictate where I live." She kept her head turned away from her father. She had never spoken to him like this before, and if she saw the anger in his face, she might cower and retreat. She needed to stand up to him, and now had become the time to do it.

"You are so frustrating, Nessie. I can't believe you treat me like this after the life I have given you." His voice was unforgiving. The tears began to flow like the rain outside. Her vision blurred, dealing with the pain of her father's words and the anger she felt inside.

"The life you have given me? If it weren't for Jacob's mom and dad, I wouldn't be here right now. If it would have been up to you, you would have gotten rid of me a long time ago. That's why you hate me being with Jacob. The longer I'm with him, the more you are reminded of the fact that you didn't want me in the first place!" Her sobs became louder, and she leaned against the windowsill to catch her balance and her breath.

Edward's hands migrated to his hair as they always did when he became deep in thought. Nessie noticed how his jaw stiffened as he glanced sideways at the floor.

"You're leaving Jacob Black, Renesmee. You are not going to see him anymore. Do you understand me?" he spoke barely above a whisper.

"I won't do that. Don't ask me to do that."

"I am not asking."

She obviously had crossed the line bringing up the abortion. She was scared of her father in a way that she had never been before. She knew he wouldn't hurt her physically, but he would use any means necessary to get what he wanted. If it meant tearing her down and making her life hell in the process, then he would do it.

Edward slowly and methodically made his way to a large framed photograph that had hung in the study for years.

"Do you see this photograph, Nessie? Are you familiar with it?" he asked. She nodded her head yes.

"It's the university's library. I don't see why we are talking about it." She turned to face her father, angry that he seemed to changed subjects so easily.

"May I remind you that it's the _Cullen_ library. There's also a wing of the nursing building that bears our name. I'm not sure, but I can venture to guess that Cullen money has built most of that university over the years. Your great grandfather began the philanthropy that has continued to this day." He ran his finger across the picture, making sure Nessie was paying attention.

Nessie didn't bother to ask why they were discussing the Cullens and the money they had given to Forks University. She would never understand her father or the way he thought. Avoiding conflicts was his forte. She knew how wonderful her grandfather and great-grandfather were. She only wished that a tad bit of their benevolence would have trickled down to her dad.

"The University's president and I are really good friends, as you well know. He and I rushed together here at FU. We shared some good times, but that's beside the point. His tenure here is due in part by the backing of the Cullen family. He owes us a great debt of gratitude."

No longer able take the direction this conversation was heading, she spoke up.

"I don't see how this has anything to do with Jacob and me. You make no sense, Dad."

"I thought I was making perfect sense. You see, I can control more than you think I can." He moved away from the picture and closer to his daughter. He leaned on the windowsill next to her. They both stared out the window, avoiding each other's eyes. "It would only take one call, and any chance for a scholarship for Jacob would vanish."

Her head jerked up and then turned to her father.

"You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't do that to him," she asked, amazed at the claim that had come out of her father's mouth.

"I can and will, Nessie. You hold the fate of Jacob in your hands, my dear," he said coldly.

Nessie took a moment to swirl around what her father had just told her. The gravity of the request began to weigh on her, and she felt like she would crash to the floor. She put most of her weight on her upper body, trying to keep it balanced while gripping the windowsill.

"If I stay with Jacob, then you would get his scholarship revoked? Do you have that kind of power?" she asked.

"Did you not hear what I just said about the Cullen influence at University of Forks. It would only take one call."

Nessie paused, trying to process the information. It was coming in but she couldn't deal with it. Her heart rate sped up knowing that her father had begun to win this argument. He never fought fairly.

"So...if I stay with him, he won't go to college." Her knees began shaking.

"That is right."

 _No...no..this isn't happening. There has to be a someway for this to work out, s_ he thought.

"He was recruited by a ton of schools. He could go somewhere else. Any school would be happy to have him." _Of course! He could leave Forks, s_ he thought.

"Would he leave Billy? I was there when he came in the hospital after his boating accident. I know he can't take care of himself. Would Jacob risk that?" her father reasoned.

Nessie didn't have to think about that.

"No, no...he would stay with Billy," Nessie said sadly.

"If you want what's best for him, and I know you want him to have this scholarship, then it's in your best interest to dissolve your relationship with him." Her whole body began to tremble upon hearing the awful truth.

She knew her father was cold. She knew he could be unforgiving, but not until now did she realize the depths of his resolve. She couldn't be sure if her father would follow through with his plan, and if it were even possible for him to do such a thing. However, she didn't want to chance it. She was scared of him and didn't know the full extent of what he was capable of. The last thing she needed him doing was controlling Jacob's life.

He had forced her into a corner with no way out. A classic catch-22 situation: either way, there would be a loser. If she stayed with Jacob, he would be forced back to the reservation to look for work in a dead-end job he would have for the rest of his life. If she left, he would have the opportunity that came with the scholarship. An opportunity that wouldn't come again.

She wouldn't be able to tell Jacob about the conversation with her father either. She couldn't cry on his shoulder and have him fix this problem the way he always did. Nessie knew that Jacob would no doubt refuse the scholarship to have her with him, if it were up to him. Nessie knew he loved her deeply, and the scholarship wouldn't matter. She couldn't let that happen.

Could she live with herself if she were the one that kept him from obtaining his dreams?

"I can't believe you're asking me to do this. Do you have no heart? Do you know what this would do to me?" She hoped her dying inside would somehow soften his marble heart.

"I know you will be upset, but hearts are broken everyday. Time will heal your wounds, and all the other fluffy stuff the poets write about." His tone was almost mocking.

"You'll get over it, and find someone more appropriate, like Tyler, to be with. I am only doing this because I don't want your future to go down the drain, Nessie. You aren't going to end up living in a small, framed house on an Indian reservation. I won't allow that to happen."

How could she have been so blind, looking at her father now? How could she have missed the similarities?

"You are just like him."

"I'm nothing like Jacob, Nessie," her father smirked.

"You aren't anything like Jacob. Don't ever think I would put you in the same category with him," she balked.

"Then whom am I like?"

"Tyler. He did the same thing to Jacob. Tyler cut him down and forced him to do something he didn't want to do. No wonder you like him so much. He's you, only younger."

Edward stood quietly for a few moments, seeming to take in the words of his daughter. He walked to his desk, opened up his lap top, and began to type. His mind had changed directions yet again.

"I take it you know what to do. I suppose a phone call would suffice," he told her as he pushed his cell across the desk to her.

"Seriously? You are asking me to leave the love of my life, and you want me to do it on the phone? I can't believe you!" She stood unmoving at the window.

"Then how do you suggest you do it? You aren't going to see him again."

She would see Jacob one more time, even if it killed her.

"Mom wouldn't make me do this. She knows what it feels like to lose someone you love. She wouldn't want me to feel that kind of pain," Nessie cried, hoping bringing her mother into the conversation would miraculously change her father's mind.

"It's a good thing your mother isn't here then, isn't it? Call him.. _now."_ Unable to keep still any longer, she rushed to her father's desk and sat in the chair in front of it.

"Let me see him, please. At least give me that, Dad. Just let me see him one more time. It's the least you could do," she pleaded, feeling the sting of her tears on her cheek.

He took a moment to look at her, and she hoped her desperation would help in some way. She watched as he took his phone back and slid it in his pocket.

"We leave early in the morning. I expect you back and ready to see your mom. I am trusting you to do as I say, Nessie. You should see that you don't have a choice in this matter."

She said nothing as she sat in complete shock. Had she really convinced him to let her see Jacob one last time only to tell him goodbye? Had she really agreed to his demand? Her body couldn't move and couldn't process the enormity of what was to come.

It wasn't that long ago that Jacob was kissing her, loving her. It couldn't have been but an hour since his departure. She knew there would be trouble with her father, but she never thought it would come down to this. She didn't know that her father hated Jacob that badly. How could he make her leave Jacob? Did he not have a heart? Or a soul? Didn't he know the pain of being separated from someone he loved?

She started to walk out the door, but before she did, she begged one last time.

"Daddy, please don't make me do this. I will do _anything_ you want me to do. I will be the best daughter that I can be, but please, don't let me lose Jacob."

"You have no choice in the matter, Nessie. I am unmoving in my decision."

"I can't do it," she said truthfully.

"Then Jacob has no scholarship. It's as simple as that," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do before we go out of town."

Nessie pushed the door open, no longer able to look at her father or be in the same room with him for that matter. She grabbed her purse off the table in the entryway and walked to her car in a trance. She needed to see Jacob tonight. She wanted to go to him and tell him everything, but she knew it wasn't going to happen the way she wanted it to.

She realized the hard way that the only way for Jacob to achieve the kind of life he had dreamed of was for him to go to school. Who was she to stand in the way of that? She knew he loved her, but not as much as she loved him. He would surely find another to make him happy...

 _Oh, God! Someone else. No..._ She couldn't bear the thought.

Nessie's mind kept wandering to places it need not go. She pushed the horrible thoughts away, and did what she had to do. Tonight would be the beginning of her living hell.

She picked up her phone and dialed his number. It took too long for him to answer.

"Hey! Are you okay?" he asked when he answered his phone.

She almost lost it once she heard his soothing voice. _It's too painful,_ she thought as she sank down to the front steps of her house. She began rocking back and forth, holding her stomach in with her arms. She felt like she was about to split apart.

"Yeah," she lied, trying to sound chipper and worked hard on not letting her voice crack.

"Is your dad letting you out of the house anytime soon?" he said jokingly.

"Actually, I'm leaving now. Where are you?"

"I'm stopped on the side of the road. I couldn't ride my bike and talk to you on the phone at the same time."

"Jacob..." Words failed her. She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the sob that had come up unexpectedly.

"Ness, are you okay? Something is wrong, isn't it?" He could figure her out so easily.

"Um, can I see you tonight? I need to be with you," she asked.

"Of course, where do you want to meet?"

"I don't care. I just want us to be alone. Just you and me," she said.

"My dad's at home, so that's not an option. I know we sure as hell can't go to your house," he chuckled. She wondered how he could be so happy right now. Then again, he had no clue about her discussion with her father.

She buried her head with one hand, keeping the phone to her ear with the other. She became overwhelmed talking to him, knowing that tonight would be their last night together. It seemed like they had only begun their relationship, and she cringed knowing it would be over all too soon.

"Ahhh," she moaned, not doing a very good job of hiding her pain.

"Ness, what happened with your dad tonight? You need to tell me," he demanded.

She wiped her tears off with the back of her hand and cleared her throat. She needed to be strong and not let Jacob know that anything was wrong. She had no clue how she would handle this situation. She had no idea how she would be able to look at him and tell him that she couldn't be with him anymore. He wouldn't understand her not being able to give a reason either.

It hurt too much and another moan escaped.

"I'm coming to get you. I can't take this."

"No, no, baby. I'll meet you somewhere. I just need to see you. Can we meet in Port Angeles somewhere?" she asked, becoming desperate.

"Sure...um, I'll just get us a room somewhere. It won't take me long to get there. I'll call you as soon as I find us something, okay?" His voice sounded so warm, so inviting.

"O...kay," she choked out. She knew she needed to get herself together.

"Baby, don't worry. It's going to be all right. Remember... I love you," he said with such conviction that it felt like someone had punched her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her lungs.

No one on earth could say _I love you_ the way he said it. Normally it made her heart beat out of her chest and feel all gooey on the inside. Hearing those words right now made her realize that she didn't deserve someone like him. She didn't deserve to have his love with what she was being forced to do.

"I...love...you...too." She managed to say before hanging up the phone.

~o~O~o~

The rain continued to pour down in buckets as she made her way to Port Angeles. She hoped Jacob had made it there before the rain had come down too hard. He would be soaked from being on his motorcycle.

Her windows fogged up too quickly, and she turned the defroster on high to try and see better. Even with her windshield wipers on high, she could barely see five feet in front of her. She found a fast-food napkin that she stashed in her car and wiped the windshield because the defroster hadn't begun to work.

The tears that clouded her site were worse than the rain and the fogginess on the glass. Her sobbing had made it almost impossible to see anything, but stopping wasn't an option. She needed to get to Jacob.

 _Thud. Thunk._

Her little car hit a deep pothole, and it swerved her car across the double-yellow line.

"Oh, shit!" she said as she corrected the wheel and got back into her lane of traffic. Not but two seconds later did a logging truck zoom by on the two-lane road. Her heart raced realizing she was mere seconds away from her car being made into scrap metal. She gripped the steering wheel, hoping to make it the rest of the way without incident.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._ Her back rear tire began making a horrible noise.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she screamed slamming her hands on the dash board. A flat tire was the last thing she needed. She felt the universe was trying to tell her something, and every disaster that kept coming became a sure sign of her making the wrong choice. Leaving him was the only way to secure his future. A future without her.

Nessie found a safe place to pull over and rested her head on the steering wheel, trying to stop the crying. Instead of stopping, she cried harder than she ever had before, listening to the wind and rain and almost wishing she hadn't missed crashing into the truck.

~o~O~o~

Jacob opened the door and there Nessie stood, looking like she had been through a tornado. The soft, blue dress she wore earlier had gotten soaked and now had black smudges all over it. _Was that grease?_ he thought. Her face and hands were covered with similar marks.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, pulling her to him in the doorway.

"Flat tire," she answered quietly.

 _Oh, and this is the last time we'll get to be together._

He kept her in his embrace and pulled her into the hotel room and shut the door.


	24. Closer

**Stranded in this spooky town.**

 **Stoplights are swaying and phone lines are down.**

 **This floor is crackling cold.**

 **She took my heart. I think she took my soul.**

 **With the moon I run far from the carnage of the fiery sun...**

 **And it coming closer.**

 _ **Closer**_ **by Kings of Leon**

"Flat tire? You got a flat tire and didn't call me?" he asked, sounding a little frustrated. She inhaled the scent near his chest as he held her close and tried not to feel guilty for not calling him. The security she felt in his arms allowed her to breathe and relax just a bit; he felt like home.

"It's not a big deal. I learned all about cars from Aunt Rose. Lesson one was changing a flat. She didn't want me to be the damsel in distress on the side of the road," Nessie said. Her voice muffled from her lips being pressed to his body.

"Not a big deal? You're soaked to the bone and shivering uncontrollably. I don't care about the whole damsel thing! I would have changed your tire, and you wouldn't be covered in grease either. I know you can do these types of things, but I'm here now, and I want to help you." He pulled her away from his body to get a better look at her. "Your lips are blue."

She didn't say anything because she knew he was right. It would have taken him half the time to change the flat. When changing the tire, Nessie became so distraught that she ending up throwing the tire wrench into a grouping of trees in anger. She cursed as she had to wade ankle deep in the muck and mud on the side of the road to retrieve it. She thought about leaving it, but she hadn't taken off the lug nuts yet and needed the damn thing. Because of her mood, it took her twice as long to do something that usually came easy to her.

Changing the flat herself, however, did offer her a chance to get out the anger she felt towards her father before she made it to the hotel room. Using her all her pent up anger to jack up the car, take off the lug nuts, and replace the tire let her exert the bad energy she had inside. She cried and yelled in the pouring rain while doing it, too. She knew she must have looked like a crazy woman to the passing motorists, which could have been a reason that no one stopped to help. The unexpected bump in the road made her pause and take stock of her situation. If she hadn't been forced to stop, no telling how she would have felt when she saw Jacob. She looked like hell, but she at least she had her emotions somewhat under control.

When Jacob had opened the door, any malice she felt melted away, and all she could see was him. All she wanted was him. He was her sun, her light in the darkness. Nessie decided that no matter what happened tomorrow, she would make the best out of tonight. She hated herself for what she was going to do to him and felt selfish for wanting to be with him one last time. He would be an innocent casualty in this Cullen-family drama, just like Charlie.

He grabbed her ice-cold hand and motioned her to the bathroom.

"Let me get a hot bath running for you. We need to get you warmed up."

She watched as he started the water in the tiny bathroom. He looked huge being in this little room. She always knew he was beautiful, but watching him right now in this moment made her realize just how beautiful he was. A sharp pain shot through her gut, and she tried to push it away. She averted her eyes from Jacob and tried to take note of something other than him, like how the single light bulb reflected a strange glow on the yellow tiles on the walls. She eye-balled the white, plastic shower curtain as he pulled it to the side, noticing some cracks in the tile work by the soap dish. Observing the mundane details of the bathroom did nothing to take her mind off leaving Jacob. She winced as she felt the pain again.

"I know this place isn't the nicest, but it's the best I could do on the short notice. Besides, I didn't want to ride around in the rain looking for a place. I hope you are okay with it," he said apologetically, noticing her facial expressions. He mistook her feeling of anguish for disgust.

She smiled at him, trying to look like she was all right.

"It's perfect, Jacob. I'm here with you. That's all that matters to me." She knew he had to pay for this room out his own pocket, and she didn't care if it were a five-star hotel or a roach motel. Being here with him made any circumstance better.

Jacob took the small bottle of shampoo from a small, wicker basket on the commode and dumped half of it into the running water. Bubbles started to form and filled the bath.

"It's not anything fancy, but you now have a bubble bath." She still stood shivering and felt her heart sink when he said those words. He took care of her like no one else, and she would have to tell him good bye. Turning her eyes to the floor, she couldn't bear to look at the pureness that showed in his.

Jacob walked over to her and pulled her from the wall she leaned against. His large hands took her face in them, tilting her head up slightly. He kissed her gently, but with fervor. He pulled away before she was ready, making her feel a bit rejected, but she deserved it.

"We can do more of that later, but right now, you have a hot bath awaiting you," he said.

He ran his hands down her sides, allowing time to feel her body and caress her curves. She let out a soft sigh, hoping to remember every touch from him tonight. She hoped she could hold fast to every moment because her memory would be all she had of him very soon. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she forced them away. _No! Not now! s_ he thought to herself.

He finally found the end of her dress and began gathering it in his hands. He brought the cold, wet material up her body, exposing her pale flesh in the dim light.

"I have no other intention than to get you undressed...so you can get in there. My motives are honorable," he smirked. "For now, at least. I won't be held accountable for my future actions." His playfulness always made her smile, even when she didn't feel like doing so.

 _I could do without the bath if it meant that you would just pin me against the wall and rip all my clothing off in the process,_ she thought to herself but allowed him to continue undressing her tortuously.

She slowly began to compartmentalize her emotions, pushing the fight with her father to the back of her mind. She couldn't think about that now that she was here with him. She couldn't bear the pain her father's ultimatum brought. Talking about it with Jacob would be excruciating. She wouldn't even know where to begin.

Knowing it would hurt him more, she still decided to let the night progress and not think about her father. She was a coward, and she knew it. Her body craved him now more than ever, too. She selfishly needed him and didn't think about the consequences of her choice.

She had plenty of time ahead of her to deal with her decisions. She only hoped he wouldn't hate her forever.

Nessie raised her arms above her head, allowing him to remove the dress from her body. The cold air from the room immediately made her wet skin break out in goose bumps. For once, Jacob's touch didn't elicit that response from her. A small rumble came from his chest as his eyes took in her body. She knew he probably wanted to rip her panties off and pin her against the wall, too, but she wanted him to be able to do whatever he wanted with her. He made her a bath, and she would take it.

His gentle hands raked across her back, and she could feel the roughness of them. She welcomed the touch of this man who used his hands to make a living. She reveled in the way they felt. He knew how to make engines run, and he certainly knew how to make her purr, just like the cars he fixed.

Her bra unclasped and fell to the floor. His trembling hands refrained from cupping them, kneading them. He even noticed how her nipples had hardened in the coldness of room. He struggled with making this night all about her rather than fulfilling his own wanton needs. He knew she had a disagreement with her father, but he didn't know the extent of it. He only hoped that she would eventually open up about it, but until then, he would take care of her the only way he knew how.

Jacob took his thumbs and lifted the waist band of the panties that were almost ripped from her body earlier that day. He dropped to his knees as he delicately pulled them down her legs, watching her step out of them. Now that she stood completely naked in front of him, he came face to face with her breasts and toned stomach. Taking her hips with his hands, he moved her closer to him and let her embrace him. Her fingers felt good running through his hair. All he had to do was turn his head slightly and he could have her breast in his mouth, running his tongue across her nipples. He contained himself, however, making her needs come before his.

He kissed the spot between her breasts lightly, stopped before he got carried away, and took her by the hand. He guided her to the tub with a small nudge. Nessie tried to sear in her brain the way his lips felt on her flesh.

"Get in," he commanded. He watched her foot disappear as she dipped it in the bubbles. She used his hands to guide her down into the water after she put her other foot in. He let go of her when her whole body was engulfed. He noticed her face returning some of its color. The hot water had begun to warm her up, just like he knew it would.

"Warm now?" he asked.

"Almost."

"Good. Now let's get you all cleaned up," he said with his familiar, evil grin on his face. Jacob stood and retrieved a white wash cloth from the generic, stainless-steel shelf and wet it with the water from the tub. He unwrapped the bar of soap and began washing the black marks from her right cheek and neck. He let his fingers brush against her skin, feeling how soft it was. Her eyes closed as he touched her, washing the dirt from her face.

A silent tear slipped down her cheek. He wiped it off with his thumb.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" Jacob asked, wondering what she and her father had fought about.

"No, not yet," Nessie answered. She couldn't talk about it and didn't want to. It would be too real, and at least right now she could deny that the whole conversation with her father ever happened. She needed him to comfort her, which he did without even knowing it.

He sat on the floor next to the tub. His huge frame filled the bathroom, but he beared being uncomfortable to make sure she was okay. He took her left leg in his hands, leaning over the tub a bit. He circled the washcloth around her calves, making sure he wiped away all the mud. He saw her watching him when he reached down to get her other leg.

"I don't deserve this treatment," Nessie confessed. She couldn't shake the guilt she felt; she had to do the unthinkable. She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to hold back the betrayal of tears that had welled up.

"Sure you do," he said as he wiped the last bit of mud off her leg. If he only knew the truth, he wouldn't be saying that she deserved any of his goodness. His gaze moved from her eyes to the perfection of her body. He could feel his desire for her heighten and his hands wanted to roam over her and discover the feel of her bare skin all over again.

The washcloth made a small splash as he dropped it in the water, and he began caressing the wet skin of her leg. His hand glided up her smooth body and rested on her thigh for a moment. Then the touches turned needy when he moved upwards a little more to find her hip. She arched her back enough which encouraged him to continue.

She opened her eyes and wiped away the tears. She decided to move to him, unable to sit quietly anymore and not have her hands on him or her lips on his mouth. She moved herself up to her knees, feeling the soapy bubbles running down her body. Jacob froze watching her emerge naked from the water. The way the water looked on her skin and how the bubbles slid down the curve of her breasts about made him come undone.

Without words they both knew what they wanted. He clasped her waist with his hands, almost encircling it. She felt the tug from him and felt herself being pushed into his body. Her arms draped over his shoulders, and as soon as she wrapped them more around him, their lips crashed into one another, greedily.

Tiny moans echoed through the small room simultaneously when their lips were finally joined. He hungrily kissed her, allowing her to move her tongue with his. She shifted her head to the other side to taste him better, to kiss him deeper. She strained to be closer to him because their embrace wasn't close enough.

He nipped at her lower lip and then passionately kissed her again, illiciting another moan from her. She needed him so badly. For a moment she wondered how she could live without his touches or his kisses? How could she dare to live without him?

His mouth left a fiery trail down her neck, and she tilted her head enough to give him more room to play. She felt his hands and how tightly they held her. No one would ever be able to duplicate this feeling for her, and no one would ever love her the way he loved her.

He took the flesh of her shoulder with his lips, beginning there and then trailing his mouth to the cleavage of her breasts. She could feel his hot breath lingering there, taking in her scent. He paused just long enough to make her cry out from anticipation. He knew how to make her beg for more. As soon as she let out her whimper of a sigh, his lips sucked needily on her nipple. His tongue swirled around, and she clung to his neck.

How stupid could she be to leave this man behind? She would have to tell him the truth and let him know what her father had said, in order to be with him. The two of them could run away to La Push and make it on their own. It would be a simple life, one that she had always yearned for and dreamt about. Nessie would be selfish again in order to have him always with her.

"Ohhhh!" she screamed with pleasure when his hand pinched her other nipple while his mouth still played with the other. "Jacob, ummm, come in here with me please," she requested. The water was warm and she wanted him to heat it up more.

He chuckled a bit as he continued to kiss her, never breaking contact.

"What's so funny?" she asked, wondering why her request was so humorous.

His mouth kept roaming around her body, breathing her in and making her shiver. He stopped at the crook of her neck.

"Do you see the size of that tub? There barely is enough room for you, and you're tiny compared to me."

"Oh," she said, starting to think. She moved away from his embrace, and closed the shower curtain on him.

"What the hell-" he stopped in mid-sentence once he heard the water begin to drain from the tub, and the water from the shower turn on. A light bulb went off in his head and a huge grin crossed his face. She peeked out from behind the curtain, smiling a bigger smile than his.

"Well, are you joining me or what? I don't want to be in her all alone," she coaxed.

His shirt, shorts, and boxers fell to the floor in a mere five seconds flat. He already was barefooted, so getting undressed was quite simple for him. He saw her face light up when he stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain behind him when he did.

"That was fast," she said. He gave her a cocky grin in response.

His breath hitched a bit when he saw her under the spray of the shower. He liked the way her hair seemed longer when it was completely wet, something he had never seen and something he wanted to witness again and again.

Looking at the way he watched her made her realize that she made the right choice. She would have to deal with the consequences of choosing Jacob and ignoring her father's demands. Here with Jacob was the right place to be. Her sadness seemed to wash away with the water that streamed down her body.

His body gloriously filled the shower, and the electricity he emanated was almost palpable. With one step, he was close to her and looking at her with his lust-filled eyes. He found his arms around her again and moved them back and forth across the wetness of her skin. His hands meandered to her ass and he cupped it, pushing her into him. Nessie felt his body and how ready for her he already was.

She squeezed his shoulders, then took her palms, and ran them upwards until she found his angled jaw. She took his face in her hands and pulled it down to hers. She searched his eyes, until she saw the blackest part of them.

"Kiss me, please," she asked. She stood on her toes to reach him and he happily obliged her request.

He still had his hands on her rear end, and the deeper he kissed the harder he pushed her to him. She moved her hands up and down his stubble. His touches made her cry out as she let herself get lost in him kissing her. She could feel her body's response to him. It had been too long since their first time together, and she needed him now. She felt she would burst from desire if she didn't.

Her leg slid up to his hip, and his hand steadied her there. Their kisses became more deliberate and passionate the more time passed. She tried to push her center to him but couldn't reach him.

"You're too tall," she joked in between their kissing.

The hands that had groped her butt soon scooped her up, bringing her in direct contact with his hardness. Her long legs wrapped around his middle securely, and she tightened her arms around his neck. At first she felt nervous about him holding her this way, but the way he possessed her in his embrace let her know that he had it under control. She could feel the hot water from the shower on her back and saw the steam floating all around his beautiful face.

"Better?" he asked, wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Yes, but it's not enough. I need you now...please." Her voice was barely audible, and he knew exactly what she meant.

"Guide me in," he requested in a seductive tone. His lips brushed her ear when he spoke, causing her breathing to catch. She didn't hesitate and slid her hand down his body until she found him. She stroked him up and down a few times, knowing he would like it but realizing the feeling of him in her hands was turning her on as well. She heard his low growl and wanted him to make that sound again. He lifted her hips upward, and she moved him to her entrance.

She guided him and rested her wetness on him. Her hand played with him a little more, brushing her thumb across the tip of him. Jacob rubbed her ass harder as her hands lingered on his shaft, loving the way he felt in her hand. Nessie rolled her hips and then finally lowered herself on him, feeling nothing but the bliss he could bring. Having him inside her only solidified her decision. She was ready to fight her family to be with him. Nessie's new feeling of freedom allowed her to give herself to Jacob completely without any guilt or sadness. She would make love to him right here and right now and feel only joy.

Once Jacob completely filled her, he paused, bringing his gaze to hers. This woman in his arms meant everything to him and making love to her just skimmed the surface of how he felt about her.

He felt her tighten her arms and legs around him and watched her eyes when he pushed her down on him more. The water showered her back and trickled down her breasts to the secret place in between. Her head tilted back slightly, and her eyes closed when he completely filled her. The noises she let out resounded in his ears like a symphony. It was too much. She was too much. How could one woman do this to him? He turned around to the nearest wall, needing to anchor her against it. Something animalistic had overtaken him, and the need to have her immediately became urgent.

She felt the coldness of the tile on her back, but the warmth of Jacob balanced the sudden change in temperature. He began moving in her forcefully and earnestly but with tenderness nonetheless. She had to hold on to the towel rack with one of her hands to help balance herself and meet his pace. Her body slid up and down the tile, and the wonderful tension kept building with each thrust.

Jacob held Nessie against the wall, and his eyes remained closed. The tightness that he felt around him was causing him to reach his release sooner than he anticipated. His eyes winced and he concentrated on lasting a little while longer, for her sake. It didn't help that when he opened his eyes, he came face to face with her breasts. She bit her lip and smiled her crooked smile, knowing she had just caused him to be that much closer to coming from just looking at her.

"Fuck...Ness, baby," he grunted. "I won't last much longer." His body quickening the already rapid pace.

"Let it go, Jacob," she coaxed, not far from her own release. She felt herself pulsating around his hardness. "Oh, oh, oh...Jacob!" she began moaning over and over again because the tension had almost reached its pinnacle.

"Say my name again," he whispered. Her voice saying his name was heaven, as far as he was concerned.

He pushed hard once again and began to feel the climax of their love making. He heard her whisper _Jacob_ again, followed by another _Oh!_ and that was all he needed to send him flying. He could feel himself filling her as he gently pulsed in and out of her. He kept moving, although he had finished. He knew she was close, and he wanted to watch her come. He needed to hear her say his name again while she found her release.

Her thighs tightened around his waist, and she let go of the towel rack, extending her arms around his body. Her pace quickened in small, short spurts, which allowed him to stay deeply inside her but give her satisfaction as she did. Her face buried itself in his chest and he kept thrusting into her frenzied movements. She could feel his warmth spreading inside her, mixing with her own. It didn't take long before she her muffled moans were heard as she felt her orgasm hit its peak.

When she finished, her body didn't loosen its grip on him at all; in fact, she only pulled him closer to her.

"God, Ness. I can't...can't speak," he said as she felt his chest heaving up and down, trying to catch his breath.

"Mmm hmmm," she answered back unable to put any thoughts into words either. He had scrambled her brain.

Wanting to let their love making soak in a little while longer, they stood joined together in the shower, letting the water cover them as they did. Some tender kisses and _I love you's_ were exchanged. Their hands continued to roam, knowing this wouldn't be the last time they would get to make love tonight.

~o~O~o~

In complete bliss, she laid on the bed, face down still wet from the shower. Her naked body glistened from the lone bathroom light that illuminated the room. He studied her from his spot by the sink. He had taken a little longer getting out of the shower than she had. He grabbed a towel and began drying himself off, not letting his eyes leave the curvature of her perfect ass. He knew exactly the next position he wanted to try tonight.

She ran her hands over the sheets, still on a high from their romp in the shower. She was just about to roll over and invite him into the bed when his cell phone began to ring. She glanced at the motel clock, thinking it had to be the middle of the night. Instead she found herself shocked that it was only eight thirty in the evening. This day had been mostly awful, which seemed to draw out the time. Nessie realized that she would have so much more time with Jacob tonight; she could only imagine how much sleep they wouldn't get. She heard him answer the call and began thinking about some of the things she wanted to do to him tonight.

She didn't have a clue who was on the phone, but she knew that whomever it was, it was someone important to him. She could just tell by the way his voice changed.

"Yes, sir...That sounds great. I can't wait to tell my father...No, we'll be there, don't you worry about that...yes, sir...thank you, sir..." She listened intently wondering with whom he was being so formal.

"Don't tell me that, Coach. I'm already nervous enough as it is...I thought it would be a small thing...oh, okay...if you say so...yes, sir...bye." Jacob hung up the phone. He bounded over to her in no time flat and was on top of her kissing her down the back of her neck and shoulders.

"What was that all about?" she asked, curious as to what this Coach person had to say.

"Could this night get any better?" he asked, continuing his assault of his lips on her back. He now moved down her spine. A shiver overcame her body, and she grasped the sheets.

"Tell me, baby. Who was it?" she asked.

He positioned himself on top of her. "That was Coach Rasmussen."

"Oh?" She sounded a little surprised.

"Yeah. They finalized the date of my signing. I'm going to officially be part of the team in one week. They have my papers ready. He even told me a Seattle news crew is coming out for it. Apparently my committing to U of F is a big deal. He's even been contacted by a journalist from some sports magazine who's going to do a write up on me. This is fucking unbelievable. I thought I'd go sign the papers quietly in his office with just you and my dad there. Evidently Coach is holding a press conference." She could hear the excitement in his voice.

Once the news that Jacob Black had committed to the University of Forks, the sports community in the state of Washington was having a field day. To them, he had come out of hiding after disappearing suddenly two years ago and was going to be the next big thing in the college-football world. Nessie didn't realize how good he was and was expected to be. Now she did.

His mouth came back up to her neck and caressed it with his tongue. "Do you know what this means?"

 _Yes, it means that I can't be with you,_ she thought to herself.

"What?" she said choking back the lump that formed in her throat. The sorrow she thought she had left had come back in full force. Listening to him talk about his scholarship and his upcoming signing made her heart rate increase.

"I get to play ball..." He kissed her shoulder.

"I can get a degree in anything I want..." Then he kissed her neck.

"I can make my father and mother proud." Her ear lobe came next.

"And last but not least." He kissed her cheek. "I get to be with you." He found her mouth and gently grazed his tongue over it.

She closed her eyes to keep him from seeing the tears forming again. _Dammit! s_ he thought. _Why did this have to happen?_ She was firm in her decision, and now one call from his coach had messed up her plans.

"I've been wanting to try something," he said in her ear, too ecstatic to noticed the shift in her mood. She felt him position himself behind her; his knee moved in between her legs and moved them apart. His strong hands gripped her hips and pulled her rear end up to meet his body that had already become aroused.

"Is this okay?" he asked as she felt his erection on her. She moved her upper body and rested it on her elbows, dipping her head down, so he couldn't see her face.

She didn't answer. He was about to take her from behind, and she wanted him to. She wanted him to have his way with her while he was still excited about his scholarship, but she didn't know how to tell him _yes_ in the midst of her grief.

Nessie couldn't take away his happiness, his future. Tonight she would have to do what her father had sent her to do.

"Jacob?" her high-pitched voice called out to him.

"Yeah, baby." He leaned down on top of her and rested his head near hers to hear her more clearly.

"Just fuck me, please." She didn't deserve him to make love to her; she didn't deserve any of his love. All she could do was let him have her now for his pleasure. Nessie didn't hear his answer, but she heard him mumble something about how lucky he was to have her. She couldn't bear to listen to him talking about her that way, not when she had to break his heart.

He entered her gently without hesitation and began pushing in and out of her. He started slowly, making sure he was gentle, but it didn't take him long to lose himself in her. She knew he mistook her cries of anguish to be cries of pleasure. She moved her hips hard against him as he took her roughly, but she didn't mind. She didn't worry about her own climax, only his. She didn't care about anything now because the only thing she cared about had been taken away from her.

When he finally rested on top of her, she had screamed her last cry. He then told her he loved her, and she felt that her heart would break. And it did.

~o~O~o~

Nessie slipped out of his arms and made sure she didn't disturb him as she dressed. She found the motel's stationary and wrote the hardest letter of her life. The ink smeared with the tears that continued to fall. She quietly placed the envelope on the pillow next to his, having to leave before he awakened. She would never be able to face him with what she was being forced to do. If he knew, he would surely talk her out of it, taking away his future in the process.

Nessie reached down and took his shirt and slipped it into her bag. She needed it for some sort of security. He would have his undershirt to wear when he would leave, so she didn't feel badly for stealing his other one. Thinking of him waking up without her made the tears stream faster. Would she ever stop crying? She didn't see that ever happening.

She stood at the side of the bed watching him sleep, taking in his body that was barely covered by the sheet. Her hand reached down to his face one last time, but she stopped an inch or so away from it. He looked so peaceful in his deep slumber. She wanted to feel his skin so badly, but she didn't dare wake him. It shook uncontrollably when she took it away from his cheek, and she placed it to her mouth trying to stifle the sob.

She slipped out of the room as silently as she could, reminding herself to breathe.


	25. Hysteria

**Possibility & Hysteria**

 **"So tell me when you hear my heart stop,  
You're the only one that knows.  
Tell me when you hear my silence,  
There's a possibility I wouldn't know.f**

 **So tell me when my sorrow's over,  
You're the reason why I'm closed.  
Tell me when you hear me falling,  
There's a possibility it wouldn't show."**

 _ **Possibility**_ **by Lykke Li**

 _Breathe._

 _Breathe._

 _Breathe._

Nessie had to keep reminding herself to do the simplest of human functions. Those breaths were taken in between the sharp pains in her gut. The alternating bouts of pain had her double over in the parking lot. She looked idiotic squatting by her car, but there wasn't much she could do about it. She felt her lungs contracting painfully every time she tried to inhale. She wondered to herself if breathing would forever be this difficult.

Somehow managing to get off the graveled pavement, she found her way into her car. The keys fired up the ignition and she took one last look at the motel door from where she just left.

 _Breathe_.

She held in her tears, which went against every instinct her body was telling her to do. All she really wanted was to get back into bed and curl up next to Jacob and never leave the hotel. She had to push that thought aside and put her mind on other things, like making it home without losing it. The dawn broke above the horizon and she took note of its brilliance. It was ironic because she drove towards the sunrise, but her own sun was behind her still sleeping...alone.

 _Breathe_.

Nessie had no clue how she made it home; her mind could think of nothing else than the man that she loved waking up without her. Her hands trembled at the thought. She felt a tightness in her chest when she realized that from this moment on, he would hate her. She had no idea how she could hold herself together having that knowledge, but Nessie needed him to have a chance at his dream. If that meant for him hating her for the rest of his life, then so be it.

She spotted the black Lincoln Town car and one of their employees loading the suitcases in the trunk as she turned into the drive. Pulling into her spot in the garage, she grabbed her purse and his shirt. She brought the material up to her face and inhaled deeply. It still smelled like him, musky and masculine. She kept it close to her face and felt the wetness trickle down her cheeks. No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't be able to refrain from crying.

 _Breathe_

 _Tap, tap, tap_. Nessie's private moment was interrupted by a noise on her window. She wiped her cheeks and turned to see who was witnessing the beginning of her breakdown. She could feel her body crumbling into a dark abyss and couldn't care less about it. Right now, nothing mattered. A bit of nausea swept over her when she saw her father standing outside her car, motioning for her to get out.

"Nessie, it's time to get a move on," he spoke, watching her slowly get out. "You have ten minutes to change and get ready for the airport...You look like hell, by the way."

"You should see me on the inside. It makes the outside look good." She didn't look at his eyes when she spoke and kept walking away from him. She had no idea how she would tolerate this trip when she couldn't stand to be in the same vicinity with him.

"Please stop, Nessie," he called out to her. She did as she was told but didn't turn around. The way she felt was a bitter irony. The pain hurt so badly that she no longer felt anything. Everything she cared about had been left with Jacob, and there wasn't a trace of love left for her father. "I need you to look at me, young lady." She reluctantly turned to her father but shifted her eyes to the ground.

"I need your phone," he requested. "I don't need you to be, um, _distracted_ , by it."

Deep down Nessie knew that he would cut off all of her communication with Jacob. Confiscating her phone became another step in that process. Putting almost a thousand miles between the two of them worked in favor of her father, as well.

It would only be a matter of time before she would be back in the Edward Cullen routine of life, and there was nothing she could do about it. Her father had the perfect blackmail—Jacob. Nessie reached into her purse and clutched the phone between her fingers. She looked at the screen one last time before she handed it over to her father.

No texts or calls from him. Jacob still slept.

For some reason she liked the thought of Jacob not waking up yet. It calmed her knowing that at this moment, he didn't hate her. She knew it wouldn't be long before he would feel that way, though. Nessie reasoned her trip to California would be good timing because she would be absent and unreachable, if he decided to find her and talk her out of her decision.

 _Breathe_.

She inhaled the deepest breath she could, which still didn't fill her lungs. A series of coughs came from her hurting body. Nessie didn't know if the way she felt right now would ever go away. The gaping hole in her chest felt bare and exposed, and her heart beat too rapidly, like it would leap right out of her body. She felt like she had just ran a marathon; just walking a short distance became difficult. She surely didn't feel like collegiate, long-distance runner right now. Her body felt too heavy to move. The constant feeling of nausea probably wouldn't go away either.

"Thank you," Edward said when she placed the phone in his cold hand.

 _Fuck off!_ her mind screamed, but she didn't have it in her to say it out loud. What good would it do?

"Remember, the car leaves in ten minutes," he reminded her again.

"I thought we weren't flying out until noon?" she questioned, knowing she wrote the time down correctly in her schedule. Why would it have changed?

"I rescheduled our flight after our little talk yesterday. We now leave three hours earlier. I figured it would be... _best_..under the circumstances."

"Of, course. Why would I think you would do anything differently? Your plan. Your schedule. I just obey." She spoke dryly and without sarcasm. Her humor had left her. Hell, everything that used to make up Renesmee Cullen was gone, leaving no trace behind.

~o~O~o~

A bright stream of light slipped in through a small gap in the old-fashioned curtains and struck him right in the eyes. He was coming out of the deepest sleep he'd had in weeks. Sleep after sex was always the best. Before Jacob came out of his slumber, he remembered the night he shared with Nessie. A picture of her naked body, wet with the water rolling down her curves, flashed in his mind. He usually woke up hard, but this morning he knew that she could probably help with that "problem." He rolled over, reaching for her. His body ached, knowing it wouldn't be long until he was inside her, feeling her clenching all around him.

Jacob's eyes stayed closed as his arm went to her side of the bed. It startled him to feel nothing there. He opened his eyes and rubbed them, hoping to wipe away the grogginess. He scanned the room, trying to focus his early-morning, blurry vision.

Silence. He heard nothing—no movement of any kind.

"Ness, baby. You up already?" he called out, thinking she might be in the bathroom. No answer came.

He swept his hand upwards to stretch his muscles and just happened to feel something on her pillow. He wished he were feeling her instead of whatever this flat object was. Jacob sat up to see what he held. His eyes squished together, trying to focus and trying to ignore the feeling of his heart sinking.

He sat on the edge of the bed in the hotel room and held the envelope he found on her pillow in his hand. He ran his thumb across the _Jacob_ written in her handwriting, and he became sick to his stomach. Last night had been the best night of his life-one he would never forget. That reason alone kept him from opening the letter. Jacob closed his eyes and still could feel her touch on his skin. His body began to ache, and he stared at the envelope scared of what he might read. He knew as soon as he read its contents, it would begin his descent into a living hell.

Had she just not made love to him literally all night long? He remembered waking up at one point during the night seeing her sitting next to his body. Her legs wrapped underneath her, and the sheet draped around her body, leaving her breasts exposed. Jacob didn't know how long her hands had been lazily moving across his body, but he knew he wouldn't want to wake up any other way. He recalled watching her without her knowing he was awake. Jacob couldn't shake the thought of how she studied him intently as if her hands were memorizing his form.

Did he not move to her, taking her in his arms and then crashing his lips to hers in the process? When he thought back,he couldn't decipher if it were a moan or a cry he had heard coming from her? He couldn't be sure because the only thing on his mind was moving her onto his lap. Jacob remembered her legs wrapping around his body as he sat on his knees. He lowered Nessie's body down to the bed, holding her waist in his hands and then pressing the small of her back upwards. He entered her, hitching her thighs higher around his waist and then watched as her back arched when he knew he had filled her completely.

Did they not make love slowly and softly, taking their time? Was it not too long ago that he would torture himself making sure her release came on her own time? He thought back and noted how neither one took their eyes off the other the entire time. The position he had her in allowed him to watch and be absorbed by her, which had always been his biggest turn on. He loved the way she looked when she bit her lower lip as he moved in and out of her gently and methodically. He recalled her round breasts moving up and down with her labored breathing. How beautiful her red hair looked strewn about her body, messy and glorious.

How could a night filled with such passion turn into a morning with him holding a letter that determined the fate of his heart? He really didn't want to open it. Denial would be a good place to live. He could always remember his last night with her and forget about this morning.

He knew he wouldn't get over what laid inside that letter. Since the first time he kissed her in the infirmary, she became everything that was important in his life. Every song was about her. Working and making a living was for her. Every day happened because of her. Every star in the sky was her eyes. Every dream included her. All the hardships he endured was for her. Living and breathing was only for her.

And he held the letter that came from her. He knew she was gone, and his happiness had gone with her.

He swallowed hard and gathered the courage he didn't know he had in this moment. His forefinger found the seam of the sealed envelope, and he ripped it open. He pulled out the lone piece of motel stationary, unfolded it, and cleared his throat. _Dammit!_ he thought to himself when he felt the first tear run down his cheek. Jacob hadn't really cried since his mom's death.

Then he wiped away another tear and began to read her words.

 _Jacob,_

 _I can only imagine how you must feel right now waking up this morning without me beside you. How I would give everything I have to be there with you still, holding me. There is no other place I would rather be. That being said, I become nauseated thinking about what I am doing. My hands are shaking uncontrollably, Jacob. I can't believe what I have to do. Since the day I met you, you have affected my life in a way that has forever changed it. I am a better person because of you, even though I don't feel like a good person for having to write this letter._

 _I know you will hate me after you read these words, and I will understand if you do. What I am doing is unforgivable and should never be forgiven. I just hope that one day the thought of me will not cause you pain. I hope that when I think about us and our love, I will soon feel joy and happiness for having the opportunity to have someone like you love me. Right now it hurts too much. I have never deserved you._

 _Please know that I love you and always will. No one else will touch me mentally, physically, or spiritually the way you have. I can see no one else taking your place in my life, but knowing that fact about me should not keep you from loving someone else._

 _I can't tell you why I am leaving or why we can't be together anymore. Just know that my hands are tied and not obeying will have dire consequences. This decision was not my choice, but it is the only choice I can make to keep you safe. I have to go unwillingly, and please don't contact me. It will only make it harder. Staying away from me is what you have to do, Jacob...for your sake._

 _I love you, always remember that._

He rested his head in his hands, not really believing what he had just read. Had he missed something? He sensed nothing wrong, other than the fight she had with her father. Did she not passionately make love to him many times over? Did she not do things with him that she had never done before? Why would she do such things when she knew she would leave? Why would she fuck him and go without saying goodbye?

What did he miss?

He remembered she had written that it wasn't her choice. Wasn't her choice...

Edward.

Edward had to be behind her leaving. There was no other explanation. He knew Nessie loved him. Right? She had to love him; the thought of her not feeling that way about him about sent him to a deeper black hole.

The fight with her father, her appearance when she got here, the way she looked like she was in pain...The tears. How could he have been so blind? How could he just let himself take advantage of her when she obviously had been hurting? All he could think about when he was with her was, well, _being_ with her. His other brain did the thinking.

 _Dammit_! He wanted to kick himself, but instead he needed to get to her before she left the state.

Edward must have made some sort of ultimatum and forced her away. How could she even think the better choice would be to leave him? Her father held something over her head, but what it was he had no idea. Jacob needed to see her. She mentioned that she was doing this to keep him safe. Could he not protect himself? He was a big boy, but he had no idea what he was up against.

He needed to stop her. _Shit!_ She was leaving today for California, and he couldn't let her board the plane without her at least listening to him, hearing what he had to say. He loved her and would fight her father in any way he could to be with her.

The letter crumpled in his hands as he tensed up thinking about her flying out without seeing her. It couldn't end this way. He threw on his clothes, except for his shirt. _Where the hell is my shirt?_ he thought. He only looked for a moment because he needed to go and go now. He had slept late and didn't know when she had slipped out of the room. He could lose a damn t-shirt. Time was his enemy, and he didn't have any to waste.

He dialed Nessie's number as he put on his shoes and had hoped to talk to her. He got her voice mail instead.

Jacob ran to his bike and kick-started it in one fluid motion. He flew down the highway towards Forks as fast as he could. He had to catch her before she'd be gone.

~o~O~o~

Nessie slipped into her bathroom, avoiding the mirror because she knew her father was right. She did look like hell. She turned on the water and waited. She knew she needed a shower. There was a need to wash everything off her body, to somehow wash away the horrible feeling she felt inside. A cleansing was what she wanted and what she needed.

She lifted her clothes over her head and let them fall to the floor. Undressing seemed monotonous, and doing it took away energy she didn't have. She opened the door to the shower and put one foot in and froze. Her hand felt a pull like a magnet as it traveled to her cheek. His hand had been there; she could still feel it. As she closed her eyes remembering his touch, her hand then drifted to her neck, across her collar bone, to the tops of her breasts.

Her body jerked to a stop, keeping her from getting underneath the gentle spray of the water. Her legs gave way under her, and she found herself sliding down the granite tiles to the floor. She couldn't get in the shower. She couldn't wash away the essence of his touch. That's all she had left of him—the lingering feeling of his fingers, his lips, his body. Her head rested on her knees, and Nessie pulled her legs to her chest. He had consumed her that night, all over; there wasn't a place unaffected by him.

She began remembering how she made sure she explored every part of him, leaving nothing untouched, as well. It was as if she were claiming him. No matter who came after her, he would hopefully remember how she loved him with a reckless abandon that night. Kissing him all over became her mission, and she did just that. A twinge of pain surfaced when she remembered his perfect face when she took him in her mouth for the first time. His reaction was priceless. Jacob's countenance started with a look of utter disbelief and transformed into a beaming smile. Then she recalled his eyes darkening as she continued to pleasure him.

Nessie knew she had messed up by using Jacob last night. She loved him more than life itself, but she reasoned she needed to be with him one last night. Hurting him would be her cross to bear for the rest of her life.

Nessie would have given herself over to her grief had it not been for her father's rap at the door. She had to leave today. Her mind retreated into itself, trying to keep Jacob out of her thoughts. It worked...barely. His smile was always in the periphery of her mind, haunting her.

~o~O~o~

"I want you now.  
I want you now.  
I feel my heart implode,  
and I'm breaking out,  
escaping now,  
feeling my faith erode."

~ _Hysteria_ by Muse

Jacob could feel the wind whipping through his t-shirt as he flew down the highway towards Forks. He didn't know how much time he had left, if any. He had no idea how fast he pushed his bike, but he knew his motorcycle hadn't sped like this before. He didn't know if she had left yet, but he had to do everything he could to get to her.

The adrenaline flowed freely through his body, causing him to lose track of time and place. The trees whipped by him on the scenic highway he had traveled many times. He had no time to worry about his reckless driving as he whipped in and out of traffic. Too entranced by his thoughts of Nessie leaving him kept him from hearing the siren behind him. He continued on his way, not knowing there was a sheriff's car closing in.

By the time he realized the loud noise of the siren was for him, he had traveled a few more miles.

"Fuck," he mumbled under his breath. Jacob thought about racing on without stopping, making the cop chase him through the town. At least he would get to her house to see if she were still there. Stopping only postponed his mission. _How could this day get any worse?_ he thought to himself. He had no idea it would only do just that.

Jacob pulled over and balanced his bike by putting his legs down; he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. It took forever for the cop to even get out of the car, which angered Jacob even more. He just needed his ticket, so he could get the hell back on the road.

The slowness of the small-town cop annoyed Jacob, and he knew that he wouldn't be making friends with him today. The deputy finally sauntered over to Jacob after what seemed like forever.

"Do you know how fast you were going, son?" the man asked.

"No. I don't..." Jacob scanned the badge of the young guy in front of him and found his name. "...Deputy Mark. And I am not your son."

He could tell his remark didn't set well with the deputy, but he couldn't help the way he felt. He was calm considering the fact that he wanted to beat the shit out of the man who kept him from getting to Nessie.

"Well, you were going over one hundred miles per hour in a 65 mile per hour zone... _son_ ," the deputy said, repeating the word son to make a point. "You know I could haul you to jail for that kind of disregard for the speed limit and for the reckless driving I witnessed. I thought you weren't going to pull over. I didn't want to have to go on a high-speed chase today." The arrogant tone in the officer's voice made Jacob fume.

"Can I just get my ticket and go? I need to get the hell out of here...now!" He raised his voice to Deputy Mark, who apparently did not like Jacob's attitude.

"I don't know if you need to be yelling at me, young man. You are in no position to be disrespectful." The officer pulled out his pen and paper. "License and registration, please."

Jacob found his wallet in his backpack and looked inside to find the documents that Officer Barney Fife needed. It was then he stared a little too long at something he kept in there—something that made him curse in front of the man ready to haul him to jail.

"Fuck," Jacob uttered. How could he have been so ignorant and stupid? He had brought enough. Hell, he brought more than enough for the night.

He stared at the unused condoms in his wallet.

"Fuck," he said again.

"Young man, either you have your license and registration or you don't. I need you to watch your language, too. I don't tolerate that kind of talk in my presence," the deputy chastised.

Jacob found what he needed and handed the documents to the law-abiding tight-ass next to him. He tried to forget about the condoms and tried to deal with the matter at hand. If anything happened to Nessie, he would be there for her. He would never leave her if she were to get pregnant. _Shit!_ he cursed again. He would never leave her, but she evidently had no qualms about leaving him. His body ached for her. It was almost an overdose of pain, and he was on the verge of losing it. He was about ready to jump out of his skin, sitting here doing nothing but getting lectured by Deputy Mark.

"I am not having the best day, so if I want to say _fuck_ I am sure as hell going to say it, sir," he said defiantly.

The officer stared at the documents for a moment and looked at Jacob over the insurance paper he was studying more closely than needed.

"I am going to ask you again to watch your language. I don't understand you kids these days with your fast motorcycles, loud music, and potty mouths. Why, when I was younger, my father would string me up by my toes if I talked to anyone of authority that way." Deputy Mark stepped closer to Jacob as he spoke, making sure his words were enunciated to the point of mockery.

"Let's not get into this right now. I need to go and the sooner you write me the damn ticket, the sooner I can get myself the fuck out of here." Jacob was now just egging the officer on with his cursing, which wasn't the brightest idea. He knew the small-town cops didn't have much to do, so dealing with punks like him became the highlight of their day. Hauling Jacob to jail would probably give their slow day a much needed boost.

"I was going to let you go with a ticket, but you're making it extremely difficult, son."

"I told you before, I am not your son, you slower than fuck ass hole! Could you just get a move on, and we can both go on with our lives? I am already late..." He had no clue where Nessie could be. Time was running out.

"all right, I've had enough of your bullshit," Deputy Mark said.

"I can't cuss, but you can? Very fitting, officer." Jacob saw the uniformed man pinch the bridge of his nose and inhale deeply at the same time. He then took Jacob by the arm.

"I've had enough of you and your disregard for the badge. You're coming with me," the man said tugging on his arm. Jacob flashed a look of anger in his eyes, and the officer released his grip of Jacob before his arm was flung off.

"Don't touch me, officer," Jacob said through clenched teeth.

"I need you to dismount and come with me..." he looked at the driver's license. "...Jacob Black. I don't recommend you adding resisting arrest to your list of charges this morning, but I will if I have to," Deputy Mark threatened.

Jacob began to realize that his attitude was getting him into a lot of trouble he didn't need right now. He didn't have time to get arrested. He had never broken a law before in his life, much less talked to a cop this way.

"Look, sir, I am sorry. Like I said, I'm having a bad day, and my emotions are getting the best of me. I'll gladly take the ticket, and you won't have to deal with me anymore."

"You little shit. You can't talk to me that way and then think a simple apology is going to get you out of getting arrested. I suggest you dismount and put your hands behind your back," the man said angrily.

"Look, Deputy Mark, please don't do this. I'm sorry. I do whatever you need me to do. You have no idea what I'm going through right now. I just need to-," he was cut off before he could explain.

"I don't care if your momma is on her death bed. You're coming with me...Now!"

The coldness of the cop bothered Jacob, but what could he do? His hands were tied, literally. Jacob got off his bike and turned away from the officer, placing his hands behind his back. He couldn't believe he let his temper get the best of him.

"You have the right to remain silent..." were the last words he heard before his mind drifted to Nessie.

~o~O~o~

She held her boarding pass while she stared out the window of the airport, getting lost in the noise of the people bustling around her. Her father was busy on the phone trying to make sure the hospital wouldn't crumble around him without his presence. Through a long discussion she had to endure on the way here, she found out her father had arranged for Nessie to finish out her semester without being penalized. He set up everything on-line for her, even her final exams would be done over the internet.

It even amazed her to learn that her sorority had made her a full-fledged member without her doing anything lately. So many girls tried their hardest to get into that sorority and were turned away. Nessie could screw up time and time again and still get a membership that others would kill for. She knew she wouldn't be making any friends in the sorority by getting special treatment, but she knew the Cullen money knew no bounds. She was sure the Delta Delta house would soon have some sort of new addition or swimming pool added courtesy of her father.

A phone being thrust in her face pulled her out of her thoughts. She jumped, scared at the sudden movement.

"It's for you," her father said coldly, and he handed her his cell phone.

A little shocked that he would allow her on the phone, she took the call reluctantly.

"Hey, String Bean." The gentle voice greeted her on the other end. She immediately felt the urge to have her Uncle Jasper close by. His voice somehow soothed her even though his arms couldn't.

"Hey, Jaz," she said as she felt she was on the verge of tears.

"I just wanted to say good-bye before you left. I'm coming to join you for a few days in a week or so. I figured you might need me there when you have to deal with your mom." Nessie squeezed her eyes together. Her mother was the least of her worries right now.

"Yeah, I think I am going to need you quite a lot. I, uh,..." She wanted to tell him everything and have him figure out how to deal with her father, but fear kept her from doing so. Plus the man she had grown to hate stood within ear-shot.

" _Flight 1189 to Reno is now boarding first-class passengers. First-class for flight 1189 is now boarding."_

Edward hovered close by and took the phone away from Nessie.

"Jasper, it's time for us to go. We'll see you soon," he said as he flipped his phone shut, and he motioned for Nessie to follow him. And she did as she was told.

~o~O~o~

"Hey, kid." The scruffy voice called out from the other side of the bars. Jacob sat unmoving in the lonely cell. He had been here by himself watching the hours pass; he knew there was no way he would get to her now.

Jacob looked up to see Charlie standing on the freedom side of the jail cell. Charlie's look was severe as he waited for the officer to let Jacob out. Jacob was glad Charlie took his only phone call.

"What the hell happened, Jake?"

"Chief...I...I...don't know. I don't even know where to begin," he answered holding his head in his hands, staring at the gray floor of the holding cell.

"Come on. Let's get you out of here," Charlie said.

"Did you tell my dad?" Jacob asked.

"No, I didn't, but I did talk to Mark. Let's just say he's scared for his job right now," Charlie smirked.

"Thanks, Chief."

"Let's go, and you can tell me what got you into this mess...Would it have anything to do with my granddaughter?" Charlie asked, knowingly.

"Yeah, it has everything to do with her."

"What can I do to help?" Jacob could see Charlie's sympathetic eyes looking at him.

"You've helped more than you know already, but I'm afraid there's nothing you can do with...Ness," Jacob said, struggling to say her name.

"How's that?" Charlie asked. Jacob jumped at the sound of the jail cell door closing behind him thankful to be out of it.

"I'm pretty sure she's already gone."


	26. I'm Not an Addict

**"It's over now, I'm cold, alone**

 **I'm just a person on my own**

 **Nothing means a thing to me**

 **Oh, nothing means a thing to me."**

 _ **I'm Not an Addict**_ **by K's Choice**

Nessie awakened to mumbling voices that seemed to come from the other room in the suite. She tried to open her eyes, but the infinitesimal amount of light that permeated throughout the room hurt them. She had no clue what time it was or what day it was, for that matter. Her aching body rolled over to steal a quick glance at the alarm clock.

4:00

Her eyes snapped shut again. Consciousness made everything real again. Her dreams were better because he dwelled there. She dreamed of a place where she had never left him, and he still loved her. Being awake reminded her of what she had done.

"You have to go in there a get her out of bed. This isn't good for her, Edward." She heard a female voice say. Too groggy to figure out to whom the voice belonged, she pulled the down pillow over her head. Unfortunately it didn't keep out the voices.

"I don't know what to do. She's been this way for a week now," she heard her father say.

"Let me talk to her. You can't let her wallow away in there—it's not healthy."

"I didn't think that this break up would...would..." Was he actually shocked at the aftermath of the forced separation? What did he expect? This wasn't something that could be fixed with ice cream or putting a Band-Aid on it. She internally cursed his naivety.

"Edward, you obviously have never been broken up with before. Girls deal with things differently. Let me go in there and see what I can do," the soprano-like voice sang.

"All right. I have to go up to the clinic today for visitation...I hope that Nessie will want to come soon. Her mother, um..." His voice trailed off.

Nessie strained to hear what her father was saying. Her mother _what_? Why would her mother even care about her?

"...misses her." Her father's words surprised her, but they weren't enough to get her out of bed.

If her mother had been around, this heartache wouldn't be happening right now.

"You go. I'll take care of her. Jasper will be back soon. He's making sure the Audi will be properly cared for while we are here."

The voices stopped and the door creaked open. Nessie braced herself for her Aunt Alice. She hoped it would be the sympathetic Alice and not the high-strung one.

The curtains opened, and they allowed too much light in the room. As long as it was dark, she never became fully cognizant. Nessie moaned at the burning her eyes felt resulting from the brightness. She felt a shift in the bed, and became aware of her tiny aunt sitting next to her. She felt a cool hand on her forehead, and it began running back and forth through her hair. Nessie thought it felt good.

"Hey, sweetie," Aunt Alice spoke in her motherly tone. _Sympathetic Alice_ , Nessie thought, and she felt an odd relief seep through her body.

Nessie didn't reply, but she did open her eyes.

"Have you eaten anything lately?" Alice asked.

Nessie shook her head no.

"Okay. May I order you something?" She paused and waited for another nod from Nessie. "How does soup sound?"

Nessie remained quiet. She hadn't eaten much this past week because she didn't quite feel like it. Her insides churned and putting anything like food in such a volatile environment would not be good.

"I'm just asking for a few sips, please. I'm not ordering a hamburger and fries. You just need to eat something. God knows your father has no clue how do handle these things. Empathy is not his strong suit."

Alice took the hotel phone and pushed a few buttons. She ordered room service for her niece and went back to stroking her hair. Nessie couldn't remember the last time anyone other than Jacob treated her this way. She treasured Jacob's touches so much because for a long time, no one in her own family showed their love with simple touches, that is except for Jasper. No hugs, no holding hands, nothing. Once Nessie grew up, hugging became uncomfortable for most of them. At least Alice was trying now.

"Have you bathed lately?" Alice asked. Nessie was too embarrassed to say no, but she knew her keenly, observant aunt would notice the oily hair. She was sure she smelled, too. There had been no bath since the last one Jacob had given her. Nessie shivered as she felt the covers being taken off of her. A gentle tug on her hand told her to begin moving.

"Sit up, please." Nessie did just so. The feeling of being taken care of was nice. "I am so glad I don't have to date anymore. I never understood boys. They love you one minute and are done with you the next. That Jacob made a huge mistake, I'll tell you that much," Alice rambled while brushing Nessie's hair out of her eyes.

Nessie's heart rate increased when she heard his name, and her eyes looked at her aunt's, confused.

"What did you say?" Nessie asked in a raspy voice. Not talking for a few days had made it weak.

"Oh, that boy will be sorry he broke up with you, that's all. You are a catch, and any boy would be happy to have you." Nessie realized her father must be telling the family that Jacob broke up with her. _What a way for him to save fac_ e, she thought.

"Raise your arms," Aunt Alice requested. Nessie did just that. She felt Jacob's shirt being lifted off her body. "Now, let's go." Before Alice could take his shirt away, Nessie snatched it from her aunt's hands.

"No one touches this shirt, Alice...Please." She threw in the 'please' to hopefully let her aunt know she didn't mean to be so rude. Jacob's shirt was off limits. She folded it neatly, placing it in one of the dresser drawers in the room. She then finished undressing, reaching her hand out to Alice.

Alice gently led Nessie to the bathroom, ignoring the shirt incident. The shower was turned on and Nessie watched as the steam billowed in the elegant bathroom. The lodge in Squaw Valley was the best of the best. Her father spared no expense. They were in the beautiful land of Lake Tahoe where skiing and gambling were king. Too bad she felt like doing nothing else but sleeping.

Alice stared at her niece for a while, looking a little irritated.

"You're supposed to get in now. You desperately need a shower, sweetie." She crossed her arms. "Please. It'll get your dad off my back if you do. I told him I would take care of you."

"Okay," Nessie responded. She paused long enough for Alice to give her some privacy. She stared at the water, allowing her hand to rest under the spray. The thing she was scared to do the most was here. Showering would somehow wash him away. She knew she wasn't rationale and probably a little crazy, but she didn't care.

Alice was being sweet to her. It astonished Nessie with how much she needed her aunt. Showering would help both of them: Nessie would get clean and Alice would stay out of trouble with her father.

First her trembling foot found its way in the shower. Next came her other one. She ignored the nausea that crept in that seemed to warn her not to do it. Inch by inch she moved her body into the water. Soon she felt the deluge all around her, washing away his touch. She knew the shower was necessary, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

She let the sound of the shower muffle her cries to Alice in the other room.

~break~

Jacob woke up again from having dreams about her. Every night he had to endure the images of her haunting him, making his pain worse. The tightness in his chest would bind so tightly that he would reach a point where he thought he wouldn't be able to breathe. Somehow, miraculously, the tension snapped and air came in and out again. Every morning he would wake up and be reminded that she no longer graced his life. She had left and did so in such a way that he didn't know if he would ever get over it.

The ache for her was unbearable. His morning showers were not only his way to wake up but his way to relieve that yearning privately. Usually he made love to her in those dreams. The frustration came when she vanished before they finished, leaving him unsatisfied. Waking up every morning to that feeling was taking a toll on him.

He grew angry as he leaned against the shower with one hand and pumping furiously with the other. He didn't want this to be his life. Missing her, hating her, loving her. He needed her for more than just the sex. There was a connection they had to one another that he never could explain. When they were together, it was as if the Gods had made it so. Once he had shared that physical part with her, he had opened a part of himself that would always need more.

Now that she was no longer around, he still wanted her, and he hated himself for feeling that way. Getting himself off was the only way he could relieve any sort of tension he felt. Each release was never enough, and his climax always left him unfulfilled. He only wished she were here and not somewhere else without him.

Jacob screamed out loud as he finally came, and he braced himself on the wall in front of him, allowing the hot water to roll down his back. His chest heaved up and down, trying to catch up with his breathing. The overall pain was gone, but the dull ache never went away.

His sexual frustration in no way touched the emotional agony he felt after being cut off from her. He couldn't reach her by phone and had no clue where she she had gone. He recalled the deflated feeling he had as he stood at her gate, gripping the iron bars with his fists and shaking it violently. He had just gotten out of jail, which added to his anger. The Cullens had changed the code, too, and he couldn't even get to her house to knock on the door. Jacob just wanted to find someone who hopefully knew how to get to her, and instead, he was blocked completely from her.

Charlie stood calmly behind him, watching him go crazy.

After a while, when Jacob had no energy left, he felt Charlie's hand on is shoulder.

"Let's go, Jake. Did you expect anything different?" Charlie asked as Jacob slowly turned around to face the old man.

"Honestly, I don't know what I expected, Chief. I guess I always knew there was some chance she and I wouldn't work out, but I didn't think it would end...like this."

"Look, Jake. You aren't dealing with just my granddaughter here. You're dealing with a man who gets what he wants on demand and throws a tantrum when he doesn't. You know Nessie isn't to blame here. She's just obeying the tyrant who runs her and her mother's lives. Believe me, I know what you're feeling right now. I've suddenly been left alone, too." Charlie was, in fact, the only person right now who could remotely relate to him. He, too, had been left behind.

"Why didn't she talk to me? How could she think that this would be the solution to anything her father said? I know she didn't want this, but it pisses me off that she didn't come to me," Jacob confessed.

"Have you even got a clue as to what he threatened her with? Did she say anything in the letter?" Charlie asked, opening the door of his truck. The two men slid in at the same time.

"No. I don't know." Jacob ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and then pounded his fist on the dashboard of the truck, leaving a small intention behind. Charlie looked at the dent and back up to Jacob.

"Sorry, Chief. You know I can fix that," Jacob said.

"Don't worry about it, kid. You should see the hole I put in the kitchen wall about sixteen years ago."

Jacob smirked, remembering the drive home. Having Charlie there turned out to be better than drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. Jacob had no way to repay the man who held him together that day. Charlie was always his quiet self and only spoke when necessary. When he did talk, Jacob listened. It seemed like forever ago when this whole mess began.

Jacob walked to his room as he dried himself off and eyed the clothes his sister had laid out for him. Rachel had bought him a nice shirt and a pair of slacks with a belt. They argued about the belt because he refused to wear it. He should have known better than to argue with Rachel—she always won. He knew he would have to wear it or else. He eyed the pair of black dress shoes she insisted on getting, as well. He hated getting dressed up, but today it was required.

He stepped into his boxers and grabbed the ironed pants to put them on. He couldn't believe that he had been arrested just a week ago. Luckily the arrest had been swept under the rug, and no trace of it would ever be found. Charlie made sure of it. From this point forward, Jacob didn't need any trouble of any kind. He didn't need to blow the second most important thing in his life—the scholarship.

Today was a big day. He was signing his letter of intent in front of his friends, family, teammates, and the media. He finished buttoning up his shirt and tucked it into his pants. The damn belt was buckled and the constricting dress shoes were put on. The sport coat would be taken with him and worn later. He ran a comb through his hair and called it good enough.

He looked on his bed and saw the second-hand laptop he bought a few days ago. He no longer had access to Sam's computer, so he figured he'd need one for school anyway. He opened it up and checked his email.

No new ones, and nothing from Nessie

He clicked on the compose button and wrote a short note, like he had done everyday since she left.

 _Heading to the school to sign my papers. Wish you were here. I miss you._

 _J_

Jacob knew of no other way to contact her. Her phone had been disconnected, so at least her emails weren't bouncing back to him. He never left long notes, just enough to allow himself believe that he was talking to her in some way. He thought that maybe she would see them and find the courage to respond.

"Jake, are you ready to go?" Billy called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess so," Jacob answered. Today, a turning point in his life was happening, and the most important person in the world to him couldn't be here. Nessie was somewhere far away and out of his reach.

~break~

After the shower, Alice stayed quietly in the room, making sure Nessie had someone close, just in case she needed anything. She asked her niece if she wanted to talk about it, but Nessie didn't want to. She didn't know if she ever would. They each went about their business without a lot of talking, and the peaceful company comforted Nessie. Having someone with her raised her spirits enough to make her function. Alice sat typing away on her laptop and made a few phone calls while she kept making Nessie take more bites of food. The noise of the TV made background noise in the room, but neither one watched. Nessie didn't remember the last time Alice had been this relaxed.

It was nice to finally see this side of her aunt. It seemed that watching her niece experience a breakdown had made Alice unwind a bit and not be so demanding. Not once did she mention the sorority or school. Her silence probably came from the fact that Nessie made it into Alice's precious organization. With her dream accomplished, Alice could loosen up.

Alice hummed an opera tune that Nessie could not place, but it reminded her of being a small child. Her aunt had always enjoyed the fine arts and took Nessie to as many musicals, ballets, and operas as she could.

"Let's go down to the lobby to sit and sip tea. I feel a little cooped up in here, and I am sure you have to be going stir crazy being here all week. It will do you some good, too, sweetie...What do you say?" Alice asked batting her eyelashes. Alice was used to being on the go. Being an in-demand interior designer kept her hopping all over the Pacific Northwest for work. Staying in one place was not her cup of tea. "We could people watch. We have always enjoyed doing that together."

As much as Nessie wanted to leave and get out into the general population, she just couldn't.

"Maybe tomorrow."

Alice didn't push the matter and went to close her laptop.

"Okay then. We'll try tomorrow," she said softly, taking off her reading glasses and placing them on the top of her head.

"Can I check my email, Alice?" Nessie asked. Maybe a little contact with the outside world would help get her mind off things. She would have to face the mountains of school work she had missed sooner or later, as well. Getting lost in her assignments would be another welcomed distraction.

She logged in and strummed her fingers on the desk, waiting for her messages to load. Alice took out a nail file and kept humming.

Her eyes scanned the names of those who had sent her mail. Had it only been a week since she left Forks? She knew she would have some explaining to do with some of her friends, especially Claire. And, of course, a few emails from her friend waited for her in her in-box.

Nessie smiled just a little when she saw the subject lines from Claire. Lines like _WTF?You have some explaining to do and Bitch, you need to answer your phone!_ She missed Claire terribly and wanted to call her, but how would she explain to her brutally honest friend what had transpired? Her first thought was to run to Claire, knowing she would be able to help. Her second thought was shame. She felt too much guilt to let Claire know what really had happened. She knew her friend would tell her that she was stupid for leaving Jacob, and Nessie knew it would be the truth.

Her last thought was to keep the truth a secret. Claire couldn't know the real reason behind the break up. Claire was too close to Quil, and he was best friends with Jacob. Jacob could never know.

Then, her eyes widened, after clicking on one of Claire's emails. She had included some photos from the fish fry, and out popped the one of her looking at Jacob. Her finger found itself touching his face on the screen. She studied the way she looked at him adoringly, remembering feeling so different and alive after her night with him. She closed the message quickly, not being able to take the deluge of memories those pictures brought.

She scanned the in-box one last time and about seven emails with his name popped up in between the school messages and random spam, surprising her. She glanced over at Alice, making sure she couldn't see how her body starting shaking involuntarily. First the picture and now emails from him. Fate was playing a cruel joke on her tonight.

His subject lines were different from Claire's. They portrayed no humor, only the one thing he needed her to remember; every subject line said _ditto_. Her eyes closed shut holding back the tears. Their first time making love together came rushing back to her, and the goofy way he said _ditto_ instead of _I love you_ rang through her ears. She hesitated to open the messages but knew she would regret it if she didn't.

She opened his emails one right after the other, with each one sounding more desperate than the last, breaking her even more. They were all short and to the point, just like Jacob. He was a man of action instead of words.

 _I can't reach you and need to talk to you. Please._

 _We can figure this thing out, baby. Just talk to me. Call me. I am going crazy here._

 _I dreamt about you again last night. You are too much apart of me to do this. God, baby, I miss you._

 _Dammit, Ness! I am dying here!_

 _I actually ate a full meal today. Can't lose any more weight. It would be bad for the team. Where are you?_

 _My dad had to drag my ass out of bed today. He woke me in the middle of a dream with you in it. I almost hit him. What are you doing to me?_

 _Heading to the school to sign my papers. Wish you were here. I miss you._

 _Oh, God!_ she thought. He was signing his letter today. How could she have forgotten? She imagined being at his side when he did. She remembered how he had wanted her there, too. Her chest caved in and the room suddenly got warm; it felt like the air had been sucked out of the place.

"Nessie, are you okay?" Alice asked with a stern look of concern.

"Um, sort of. I, um, think." Nessie wiped her eyes and inhaled and exhaled a few times. She had had enough of this place. She needed to go somewhere to forget him. "I'd like to get out of the room for a while. Tea sounds nice. I suddenly need fresh air." Nessie grasped her shirt and pushed her hand to her breasts. She could have sworn there was a hole there.

"Really? Okay, sweetie. Let me run to my room and grab an outfit I brought for you. Don't change your mind while I am gone." The door shut behind Alice in a flash and Nessie was alone.

She closed her email and couldn't think or get her bearings. Knowing Jacob was beginning his new life today bothered her. She knew that he was moving on to bigger and better things without her, and it hurt.

She scanned the beautiful living room of the suite. It had panoramic views of the snow-covered landscape. The tones of brown in the suite reflected the natural light the windows allowed in. The room faced north, and their balcony overlooked the ice skating rink that rested next to the huge Christmas tree. It wasn't quite Thanksgiving yet, and Christmas was everywhere here. She refused to look at the people skating because she didn't need to see happiness. She needed to somehow make his memory go away or at least push it to the back of her mind.

The shaking didn't stop like she hoped, and she wondered when Alice would be back. Leaving this room had quickly become a priority.

The thought of him was overpowering, and her fight to keep his memory suppressed was waning with every second that passed. Without realizing it, she somehow found herself in front of the small, stainless-steel refrigerator in the kitchenette.

She fell to her knees and slowly opened the door. Her finger ran across the pretty labels of the miniature bottles of wine it held. She saw the beer Jacob drank and even the fancier ones she remembered from parties growing up. Her mother had been destroyed by this stuff. They were here in Tahoe because of this stuff. So why in heaven's name did it call out and beckon her? Why would she even want to try it when she knew how succumbing to its power would end.

But the pain surged again and the need to stop the throbbing became strong. She knew the alcohol could dull that pain, for a little while at least. _What would it hurt?_ she thought to herself.

Her hand snapped away from the bottles when she heard the door open. Alice was back. She quickly shut the door of the fridge but not before she took out a bottle of water. Luckily Alice had entered, stopping her from doing something she would regret.

"It's just a sweater and jeans, but you will wear it well. I brought heels for you, too." Alice beamed getting to dress Nessie for the first time in a long time.

"Aunt Alice, heels? Really? I can just wear my flats, okay."

Alice's face turned serious, and Nessie took a step back from the couch, a little scared of what would come out of her aunt's mouth.

"I know you are wallowing in depression right now, but you owe me after that pledging fiasco. I won't hang anything else over your head, if you do as I ask. It will shut me up, and you know that's hard to do. Just ask your uncle."

"I hate you," Nessie said almost sarcastically.

"I love you, too," Alice said blowing a kiss back.

After some primping time, both girls headed out the door.

"Where do the two of you think you're going?" a voice with a light southern drawl said from behind them in the hallway.

Alice stopped and turned around towards the blonde-haired man whose voice they heard.

"You are more than welcome to come along, darling," Alice cooed to him, kissing him on the cheek and backing away to let him get to his niece.

"Only if this little lady will let me," he said, taking Nessie into his arms. He felt warm and good. The calming effect he had on her was immediate.

"Uncle Jasper, you are always welcome." And the three of them walked to the elevator.

~o~O~o~

Jacob sat in the small press room at the football stadium where he once had mowed the grass and helped mark the field for the games. He would no longer be the invisible person; he would soon be center stage. Even though a part of him was missing from this moment, another part of him thrived on the new part of his life beginning. He sat in his chair, holding a fancy pen while his father beamed from ear to ear right next to him. He stared into the crowd not believing they were all here for him. Watching him sign his name on a piece of paper couldn't be that big of a deal.

"All right, Black. It's time we get this show on the road," Coach Rasmussen exclaimed. The ecstatic coach soon welcomed everyone to the packed room and started the festivities. The light from the cameras flashed as he signed his name to the contracts in front of him, letting the world know where he now would go to school. He thought of his mom at that moment and how she must be smiling down on him. Making her proud had always been a priority for him. Then, his happiness broke for a minute realizing that the person who made this possible was missing.

He shook his head and carried on, trying not to let her absence ruin this moment.

Jacob smiled as his new head coach handed him a ball cap with the University of Forks logo on it, and applause erupted when Jacob put it on. He instinctively bent the brim of the hat, like most guys do when they get a new one to break in. Coach Rasmussen shook Jacob's hand vigorously and couldn't look happier. Jacob scanned the crowed and saw a few of his future teammates at the back of the room clapping for him. He spotted Emmett who brought his fingers up to his mouth and let out a loud whistle. Only one of the players refused to acknowledge the new team member.

Tyler Crowley leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his broad chest. He looked as if he were shooting daggers from his eyes in Jacob's direction. Jacob bowed up just looking at the jerk, but was taken aback by the small smirk Tyler gave as if the ass knew something Jacob didn't. He realized right then that Tyler and he would never get along. The two of them were going to fight tooth and nail to lead this team as its quarterback. Only one of them could be the alpha.

Jacob retreated to the locker room after the pomp and circumstance had ended. He needed a moment to clear his head and take in everything that had happened today. He stood in front of someone's locker whose name he didn't recognize and couldn't believe that he would have one of these for his very own. He had dreamed of playing college ball, and it finally had become a reality. The practice helmets set on the top of the shelves adorned with the UF that Jacob had seen all his life. He began to reach up to touch one of the face masks, just to see if he were dreaming.

"I don't think Tim would appreciate you touching his things, Black," a familiar voice called out from behind him.

"Just looking, Crowley. No harm done," Jacob explained. He stared at Tyler, hoping he could leave without wanting to bash his head against the brick wall.

"Edward found out, didn't he?" Tyler said too happily for Jacob's liking.

"Found out what?" Jacob knew exactly what Tyler meant. He tried to act like he couldn't care less about it. He knew Tyler would bring up Nessie to gain some sort of upper hand in this grudge match, but Jacob wouldn't let it get to him.

"I notice your snotty little girlfriend is missing from your big day. Her daddy must have found out. At least that is what is floating around the gossip mill these days."

"I didn't realize your people cared to talk about people like me. I thought it was beneath them."

"Well, sure it is. But when the Cullens go on an unexpected vacation, it makes one wonder what was really behind the sudden departure. I couldn't think of anything else other than you and how Edward didn't approve. But that's just my guess."

Tyler had no idea that the real reason behind the trip was for Bella to go to rehab. Jacob would really love to mouth off and say that Edward finding out about Nessie and him had nothing to do with her leaving. It wouldn't be entirely true, but Tyler didn't need to know all the details. It was her drunkard of a mother who caused it. Jacob would love to watch Tyler's reaction to the news, but soon realized that his nemesis would have even more ammunition against Nessie and her family. Bella's problem didn't need to be discussed in the snobby circles more than it already was.

"Look. I don't want to talk to you about this. You don't deserve any explanation to anything." Jacob tried to leave, but Tyler stepped in his way.

"So I guess this means she's available now," Tyler sneered.

"Don't you even fucking think about it," Jacob threatened, holding his face a few inches from Tyler's. He didn't even deserve to say her name much less try to date her again. The thought of Tyler pursuing her bothered him way too much.

Tyler made no attempt to move out of Jacob's way.

"Get the hell out of my face, Crowley, before I break yours," Jacob threatened.

"You wouldn't dare. You still haven't earned your spot on the team yet. You've forgotten that I run this team, and what I say usually goes around here. I'd like to see the reaction you get if you did break my face," Tyler said smugly. Jacob tried to keep from laughing, but it was hard. For someone who thought he knew it all, Tyler was so dense.

"You may run the show now, but I do know one thing, Crowley."

"What's that?" Tyler asked.

"I don't do second-string." Jacob then pushed Tyler out of his way with his shoulder and tried to keep himself together. If Tyler thought Jacob was here to be on the bench behind him, he had another thing coming.

Jacob couldn't wait for the battle to begin.

~break~

Nessie sat at the small grouping of leather chairs positioned by the beautiful stone fireplace. The warmth of the tea felt good. It seemed to make the gap in her chest not feel so large. She enjoyed the playful banter between Jasper and Alice, and she liked to watch them give those knowing glances to one another. Nessie could just feel the love they shared from just observing them.

"Jasper, honey, would you mind getting me another tea? I'm in need of a refill," Alice purred.

"Sure thing." He paused and looked at Nessie. "How 'bout you, String Bean? You need anything?" he asked lifting the corner of his mouth to a smile.

"Nothing at all," Nessie said, faking a smile. _What I need, none of you can give me._

Jasper walked away, and Nessie took another careful sip of the hot beverage. Her thoughts were caught up in the fire that felt like home to her. The fire reminded her of Jacob in so many ways—his reservation, his people, his warmth, him. She reluctantly came out of her trance and looked up when she heard someone say her name. At least the distraction pulled her from her thoughts of Jacob for a minute or two.

"Nessie Cullen? What in the world are you doing here?" Nessie watched as a tall, dark-headed girl walked quickly to her.

"Angela? Um, hi," Nessie said back to the friend who seemed genuinely happy to see her.

"I haven't seen you since high school! What are you doing here? I can't believe it's really you," Angela said and embraced Nessie too tightly.

 _I really can't do this right now,_ Nessie thought to herself. Of course, she liked her friend and was happy to see her, but tonight just didn't seem like the right time to reunite with old friends. She really liked Angela back in high school. Being the one girl that wanted to actually make something of herself, Nessie was always drawn to Angela's zest for life and unpretentious manner. She never broadcasted that she came from the second-richest family in Forks. The two of them seemed to understand one another when all the other high school girls were enigmas.

"Yeah, it's me. It's so good to see you..." Nessie needed to get back to her chair and stare at the fire. She needed to zone out and listen to life happening around her while remembering the life she had not so long ago.

"Oh, my God! You have to come out with us tonight, so we can catch up. Ben is here, too. Remember him? He came with us on our family trip. We would love to have you join us." She couldn't believe that those two were still together; they had dated since Angela was a sophomores in high school. Ben was two years older, so Angela dating a senior became a huge deal amongst her friends.

"I really don't-" Nessie began her refusal but stopped when she heard Angela interrupt.

"You can't say no. I haven't seen you in forever. What are the chances that we would run into each other here?" Angela asked a little too enthusiastically. "Please come!" she begged some more.

"I think you should go, Nessie," she heard Alice say as she walked over and joined them. "You need to get out and have some fun."

"Hi, Mrs. Whitlock," Angela said to Alice. "You look fabulous as always."

"Why thank you, Angela. You were always my favorite of all of Nessie's friends," she joked.

Nessie didn't want to go. She took a chance on being here in the lobby tonight with all these people. None of them were supposed to recognize her, much less talk to her. What would she talk about? Her great depression? Her manipulative father? Jacob? She had no clue how she would even begin to explain why she looked and acted so screwed up. Last time Angela saw her, she was the salutatorian who dated the star of the local college's football team. Life was good for her...then. Well, it wasn't anymore.

She listened to the banter between Alice and Angela and soon realized that going back up to her room wouldn't be an option.

"What do you say, Nessie? We won't stay out too late, okay?" Angela asked one last time.

Nessie nodded her head signifying that she would come along, which made Angela hug her again. Soon Ben joined the two ladies, and they headed out to the black car waiting to take them wherever their hearts desired.

They entered the bar together and Nessie immediately felt out of place. She was uncomfortable not knowing anyone and felt like everyone was staring at the red-headed, broken-hearted freak. Her insecurities had heightened since her break up. Jacob no longer was there to make her feel worthy. She thought that anyone who looked at her only did so because she seemed strange, not because she was a beautiful girl they needed to get a better look at.

Ben had been the perfect gentleman, and he made sure he found the two ladies a nice set of seats at the bar. He chose to stand between them, in order to talk, but Nessie realized she must not be that great of company. She hadn't talked much since they had gotten into the car, and contented herself in just listening to Ben and Angela's conversation.

Angela gave her boyfriend some sort of knowing glance that only he could decipher.

"Oh, right," he said to Angela. "I don't mean to be rude, but what would you ladies like to drink tonight?" Ben asked, being the one old enough to order the drinks. Money and beauty would keep Angela and Nessie from having to show any IDs tonight.

"You know what I want, Benji." Nessie smiled at the nickname Angela had called him since high school. Nostalgia was a good thing at times. It also was a bad thing. Seeing the two of them together reminded her of what she used to have. The immense hurt that never went away came back in full force, and her hands ran through her hair, trying to hide her shaking.

"Nessie? Are you there? Are you okay?" Angela asked, concerned.

"Yeah, um, I'm fine. I'll just have..." She could order a soda and be done with it, but that would in no way ease her pain right now. She needed something stronger, more substantial. "...I'll just have what you're having."

"Two rum and Cokes and a Heineken, please," Ben said, raising his arm and credit card to the bartender.

Within seconds there was a drink in front of her that reeked of a smell she had hated all her life. A green beer bottle and a glass clinked against hers.

"To old friends," Angela toasted.

"To old friends," Ben repeated.

Nessie grinned at the two of them and watched as they sipped their drinks. She took one last glance at her glass and made her decision.

The rum felt good burning down her throat.


	27. Need You Now

**I Need You Now**

 **"It's a quarter after one. I'm a little drunk, and I need you now.**

 **Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control, and I need you now.**

 **And I don't know how I could do without. I just need you now."**

 _ **Need You Now**_ **by Lady Antebellum**

The shot glass found its way back to the wooden bar with a loud clank. It held nothing but emptiness, and the refill of the whiskey came too slow for his liking.

"Another," Jacob said as her ran his thumb around the rim of the tiny glass.

"Take a breather. You might want to take it slow, bro," Paul said, hoping his friend would heed his words. He had served him a few shots, thinking he would stop. It didn't seem to be the case.

Quil made his way to Jacob over at the bar and rested his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in the process.

"Dude, just grab a beer and come sit with us. It's not good for you to be all alone over here. Who wants to sit and talk to Paul all night anyway? He only talks about Rachel and shit, so he's no fun anymore."

Jacob just stared at his old friend.

"Na, just gonna sit here. Don't feel like being happy," he slurred a bit.

"You just had an entire news crew at your signing. You made the 10 o'clock news and got the attention of the whole town, and you're gonna sit over here by yourself at your own party?" Quil questioned.

"Yep." Jacob's answered, short and to the point. He had no desire to be jovial tonight. He did have a great day, one he wouldn't be forgetting for a while, but the emptiness had begun to set in. The nighttime seemed to be when the memory of Nessie got stronger and his will power lessened.

"I can't believe you, Jake. Out of all of us, I was sure you'd be the one not to make yourself crazy over a girl. I get so mad at Claire when she even mentions that, that...name." Jacob's head jerked up at the mention of Claire talking about Nessie.

"Has she..." Jacob had a hard time asking about her in front of his friends. It showed his weakness, even though getting drunk on whiskey was pretty telling. "Has she talked to Ness?" God her name hurt coming off his tongue. Something once so sweet now tasted bitter on his mouth.

"No, man. Not yet. She can't reach her either. Where the hell did she go?" Quil wondered. "Rich people can sure drop of the face of the earth easily." Quil then left acting a little defeated. He headed back to the rest of the pack who sat at their usual tables. Jacob had made up his mind about drinking himself into oblivion tonight, and no one would sway him otherwise.

Jacob caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind the bar. He almost didn't recognize the guy looking back at him. His eyes looked sad and...drunk. At least he wasn't the only one who didn't have contact with her. Claire couldn't seem to reach her either. In some way that made him feel better. He squinted his eyes shut, trying to keep them from spilling a tear or two he felt coming. _Not in front of the guys,_ he thought. Then the sight of her filled his consciousness.

Her face seemed to pop in his head at all the wrong times, and she had infiltrated his whole mind tonight. Getting rid of the thoughts of her freckled skin under his hand and how her hair felt on his bare chest became harder and harder. He thought the whiskey would help choke out the images of her, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on him. Her hair shone brighter in his this particular remembrance, and the feeling of her kisses lingered at the tip of his tongue.

"Fill up the fucking glass, Paul." He squinted again. _No tears_.

Paul stared at Jacob, as if in a contest to see who would break first. Jacob didn't flinch, and Paul finally relented. The whiskey made it down the back of Jacob's throat only seconds after Paul poured it. The friend shook his head but couldn't say anything. Nessie had vanished with just a letter, leaving no way to contact her. Jacob deserved to have one night to drink recklessly. After tonight, though, the guys would kick his ass for being a pussy and moaning so much over a girl. To them, there were plenty of other girls that would enjoy everything that Jacob had to offer.

Jacob kept looking at the door. He didn't know why he did so. The person he wanted to see wouldn't be coming into the Brass Monkey anyway. Jacob knew he was being a party pooper at his congratulatory party, but he couldn't help it. He knew it would be a while before he would get over something like this. He really thought the two of them would work out. He thought that Nessie and he would band together and fight until the end no matter what, but apparently she bailed at the first sign of trouble. He still had no idea why.

Did Edward threaten to take her trust fund away? Was she worried that he would cut her off? Jacob wondered about those possibilities. Could she really be that shallow? He didn't thinks so, but right now, he didn't know a thing. He thought he knew her, but he obviously didn't.

The bells jingled by the front door, alerting the patrons that someone had entered. A cold, winter wind swept through the place when it did. Jacob glanced up, holding onto some vague notion that Nessie would somehow appear, sweeping in the way she did the night he had taken her to the beach for the first time. He remembered arguing with her and then making up. That's how it always was with her—fighting and then having fun after apologizing, which was the best part. She left without giving him a chance. He would have fought for her, if she would have let him.

The night she first came into the bar seemed so long ago. He couldn't forget the shy way she walked, trying to avoid his stares. How he hated her and wanted her at the same time. He had the same feelings now, except they were magnified by a ten fold. So much had changed since then. He cursed himself for wondering what would have happened if he hadn't have stopped to talk to her that night in the parking lot. He could have avoided this whole heartache, if he had just driven away without her on the back of his motorcycle.

It only took him a second to realize that he would do it all again, still knowing it would end this badly. That is how much he wanted her.

Jacob's eyes widened a bit by the girl who did happen to walk through the door. She wore a very short dress that showed off her long, toned legs. It also had a low dip that revealed enough of her breasts to tease but kept enough hidden to leave everyone lost in anticipation. He didn't notice who else walked through the door. All he saw was Reyan.

"Fill it up again, Paul," he said, knowing her presence here at the bar and his mental stability weren't a good combination.

Paul saw her, too, and happily poured the shot. He knew Jacob was screwed tonight with the girl that had walked through the door. Trouble was stamped all over her face.

He saw the surprised look on her face when she noticed him at the bar, but her face soon showed a sly smile. She said something to the two girls who came with her and left them to make her way to Jacob.

"Hey, Jake," Reyan said as she slid onto the bar stool next to his.

He turned his head sideways, gave her a nod that said hello, asked the Lord for help, and downed the shot Paul had just poured for him.

~o~O~o~

The music blared and Nessie didn't care. Angela had pulled her out on the dance floor a few drinks ago, and they seemed to be having a great time. Ben sat and watched from the perimeter. The three friends had talked about life since high school and caught up on most everything, except for one subject.

Nessie didn't talk about Jacob with them, although she did have to explain that she and Tyler were no longer an item. She didn't tell them that she had never taken a drink in her life up until this point. They couldn't know about the the real reason she and her family were here in Tahoe. Bella's stint in rehab would have to be kept under lock and key. She didn't let them know that the alcohol she drank for the first time made her feel better than she had all week. If this is how drinking felt, she would gladly do it again. The alcohol let her loosen up a bit and get her mind off of what troubled her. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about being called _The Ice Princess_ by a few of Tyler's old friends now.

"I forgot how much fun we used to have together," Angela yelled to Nessie on the crowded dance floor.

"I know. We were such nerds back then, but look at us now...we're nerds who know how to have fun!" Nessie screamed. Angela and she had hung out a lot in high school, but their idea of fun consisted of a movie or taking in the latest production at the local, community theater. Sheltered their whole lives, they never stepped out to be crazy every now and then. Tonight they made up for lost time.

It didn't take long for the two girls to have two young men begin dancing close to them, even though the girls were doing just fine on their own. They barely noticed the frat-boy-looking guys swooping in.

"Why did we not do this more often in high school?" Angela asked as the first guy came up behind her to put some semblance of Patrick Swayze's moves on her. She swatted his hands away when he placed them on her hips, surprised by his overt advances. "Um, no thanks!" she yelled at him. He stopped what he was doing but didn't move away and continued dancing close to the girls.

Then the guy's friend who moved in on Nessie began the same maneuver with her. She had to push him off of her, as well. "Get off me, jerk!" she exclaimed. She didn't like anyone touching her without her permission, and no one but Jacob would ever get to touch her in any way. For a moment she thought about Jacob and the way he had felt when they danced together, and this random guy would never measure up. She almost let her mind recall his warm body, but it didn't take long for her to snap out of it. Angela mustn't see the side of her that hurt beyond measure.

"I don't know, Ang. This is way more fun than doing our homework on a Saturday night. I could do without the random groping by strange guys, though. What's up with that?" Nessie asked.

"Not sure. Had no idea that you and I were such hotties," Angela said laughing. "Come on, Nessie. My glass is low. Let's go get another. Where's Ben?" She didn't miss a beat with the music. Both girls were not completely drunk, but they definitely were getting tipsy.

"Just one more song, please, then we'll get more to drink," Nessie requested.

"Okay. We do have some sweet moves," Angela said as she busted into a silly dance they had done in high school. Nessie started laughing so hard that it hurt; she hadn't used those muscles in a while. She hadn't laughed in so long, since before...well, since before she left.

The song ended, and a new one began. Angela started to dance, but Nessie froze in place. The room began to spin as the familiar beats began to play. For Nessie, her life had a play list, and different songs often reminded her of important times in her life. She had a song for almost everything, good memories as well as the bad ones. The song that now played used to be a happy memory, but now it felt like a ghost swooping in and reminding her of her past life.

The last time she had heard this song, Jacob had sung it to her when they danced for the first time together. She could almost remember how it felt to have his body next to hers, holding her tightly. Then the memory of his breath on her neck became too much. His voice singing _you can have whatever you like_ resonated and spurned on a new wave of nausea. Clueless to her obvious pain, it didn't take a moment for the brainless guy who had tried to grope her earlier to try again.

"Hey, baby, let's dance," he said in her ear from behind. She still stood motionless as she felt his lips on her ear lobe. The young man's hands found her hips and his body soon pressed itself to hers from behind. Nessie couldn't understand what he was doing.

She wasn't sure if it was the drinking or her sheer panic of someone other than Jacob touching her that gave her a little courage. Her body flinched at the foreign touches and cringed at the word _baby_ coming off of someone else's lips other than her Jacob's. Without warning, her elbow found his gut.

"Get the fuck off me! Did you not get the hint the first time?" she said with force. Nessie heard a loud gasp and a yell come from the poor guy who dared to hit on her. Her other elbow was needed to get the hand off her other hip.

"What the hell is wrong with you, bitch?" he said backing away from her, holding his side. She didn't even hear the offensive name he called her because she was too wrapped up in her own turmoil.

The song seemed to get louder. _I want your body. Need your body. As long as you have me you won't need nobody..._

Her heart pumped out of her chest and suddenly she needed to get out of the club. She pushed her way through the crowd, ignoring Angela yelling her name from behind. She needed to leave and leave now. The song was too much.

Nessie reached the edge of the dance floor and became disoriented. The few drinks she did have were affecting her more now as the alcohol infiltrated her blood. She spun around panicking to find the front door. Just when she thought she would crumple to the floor from sheer terror, she saw the EXIT sign. Relief seeped in her body, and she dashed to her escape.

The thin, mountain air felt good to her lungs. Nessie had never experienced a panic attack, but soon realized that she had just had one in the middle of the club. She slumped over and rested her hands on her knees, but out of habit, she raised her arms above her head to breathe better. As a runner, she was told never to slump over after a race. _Keep those arms above your head_ had been burned in her memory. She paced back and forth in front of the club and saw Angela and Ben make their way out to her. _Yep, here comes my crazy,_ she thought to herself, getting a little off-balance in her heels. She had hidden her pain and craziness for most of the night, but now, after her emotional meltdown, it would surely be noticeable.

"Nessie? Are you okay? Did that guy hurt you?" Angela asked concerned and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You left so fast, Nessie. We didn't know where you had gone," Ben added.

"I...I..." she stuttered, unable string words together. Her hands ran through her hair that felt damp from her sweating on the dance floor.

She turned away from Ben and Angela who were quietly talking to each other, obviously not understanding what was going on with her. She also could tell they had no idea what to do with her either. She watched the cars pass as a neon sign from across the street caught her eye. It flickered like it would die at any moment, but it never did.

Her heeled feet crossed the street without looking both ways first, but luckily no cars zoomed by. She could hear Ben and Angela yelling _Wait!_ from behind her, but she didn't stop. The neon sign reeled her in, and soon she found herself on the outside of a window looking in.

She saw a tall red-headed woman leaning against the front counter, laughing at the blonde man who seemed to be pointing at some art on the wall with a customer. The woman, dressed in a tight t-shirt and low-cut bell bottoms, glared at Nessie through the glass. Her hair looked wild like her eyes. The man noticed Nessie watching them and motioned for her to come inside. His friendly smile looked inviting. She looked back up at the sign and knew this was just what she needed.

The neon lights that flickered the word _Tattoos_ cast a blue light over her head as she walked inside.

~o~O~o~

"So, Jake. Are you going to talk to me or just sit there like a mute son-of-a-bitch?" Reyan asked, sounding irritated at being ignored.

Jacob slowly turned his head and glared at the girl who wore too little clothing for her own good. He did happen to notice that she looked good in the tiny dress. Sometimes he hated having the hormones of a young twenty-one-year-old male. The only girl he wanted to touch, however, wasn't here. Megan fucking Fox could walk in, and Jacob would look but not want to touch. He hurt in a bad way over Nessie.

Reyan and her rack enticed him, but it didn't interest him. Being sober made it hard enough to say no to someone like Reyan, especially when one had been through a bad heartbreak. The problem with saying no to her came from the whiskey that flowed through his veins. Alcohol seemed to let his guard down more than he usually allowed.

"I really don't feel like talking right now, so if your bony ass is gonna sit next to me, you better drink or get the hell away from me," he declared.

"Damn, what's wrong with you?" she asked taken aback by his crassness. "Oh, wait! I heard a little rumor about some rich girl taking off without saying a word to her hot boyfriend. Could that be you?"

Jacob didn't answer. He had already been left by the girl sitting next to him; he didn't need to broadcast the latest tragedy.

"What a bitch," Reyan said as she signaled for Paul to get her what Jacob was having.

"Funny you should say that," Jacob reacted dryly to her name calling.

"What do you mean?"

"Takes a bitch to know a bitch, doesn't it?"

She sat silently with a look that showed she knew that she had better shut up.

"Yeah...you know I'm sorry about leaving you like I did. It's got to suck having it happen again. I'm really sorry," she said. Jacob noted that she sounded sincere, but he never could be sure with Reyan.

"I'm not upset over your leaving. Haven't been for a while. Just know that, okay?"

"Sure. But you know what, Jake?" she asked.

"What?"

She slid off her bar stool and adjusted her dress. She ran her hand from the top of his jaw to his chin and then grabbed her full shot glass.

"I'm here now," she said seductively, took her shot, and then walked away.

He couldn't help but watch her hips sway as she did.

~o~O~o~

"Nessie, what are you doing?" Angela called out.

"I'm getting a tattoo. What does it look like I'm doing?" Nessie stepped into the tattoo parlor feeling alive for the first time in a week.

"You need to tell me what's going on. One minute we're having fun, and the next thing I know is you're running off and freaking out," Angela said exasperated.

Nessie could feel Angela and Ben behind her and hated they had to witness her episode.

"I don't want to talk about it, Angela," Nessie said loudly.

"I am not going to sit here and watch you do something you'll regret. You're drunk for goodness sake!"

"I'm not drunk...just a little tipsy. I know what I want and what I'm doing," she reasoned.

"Nessie, we better get you back to your room," Ben interjected. "I don't need your father mad at us for not taking care of you. We all know that wouldn't be good."

"Don't bring my father into this, Ben. I don't need to be babysat or watched over for that matter. God, could you people just leave me alone and let me get the damn tattoo?" she yelled. She didn't notice the people in the place staring at her as she screamed at her friends. She had lost her inhibitions and couldn't' care less what others thought of her.

"I am not leaving. You can stay, or you can go," Nessie added, dropping her voice to an almost whisper.

Ben and Angela looked at each other puzzled at what to do.

"Ness, let's go. We'll come back tomorrow when you're sober, if you still feel the same way," Ben said.

She flinched at the sound of Ben saying her name the way Jacob did. It sounded so wrong coming off his lips.

"Don't call me Ness. It's Nessie, dammit!" She stopped and watched Ben throw his arms up in the air as if he were giving up on talking any sense into her. "I know what I want, and you can't change my mind." A defiant Ness stood in the waiting area, unmoving.

"Angela, I can't watch her do something like this. I'm leaving." He turned a walked out the door.

Angela looked at the exit and then looked at Nessie. She let out a deep sign and opened the door.

"Get yourself a cab. I'm not leaving her." Nessie smiled at Angela's words and watched her walk back in to her. "Jerk. He sometimes doesn't understand women. So, who's the guy?"

"What guy?" Nessie looked around wondering of whom Angela spoke.

"The guy that your heart is breaking over right now. Nobody acts like you are unless there's something awful going on inside. Who is it?" Angela asked.

Nessie couldn't believe how perceptive her friend was. Either that or Nessie's pain was that transparent.

"I really can't talk about it right now...But I do need someone to be with me. It hurts less that way," Nessie confessed.

"I'm here and not going anywhere," Angela said taking Nessie's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I hope you're not going to get in trouble with Ben over this."

"Oh, I'm not worried about him. It's nothing a little sex can't cure. Plus, I just think he's scared of your dad. He still remembers what happened when he mistakenly wrapped your dad's car in saran wrap instead of what's-his-face...oh, I can't remember his name, but you remember that, don't you?" Angela said.

"Who knew Ralph Farque had the same car as my dad? Ben's Senior Prank Day was really interesting, to say the least."

"Well, Ralph's _dad_ owned the car, but Ben never quite forgot the sight of your father storming into his Chemistry class the next day." Angela and Nessie laughed recalling their high school days. Her dad hadn't changed much.

"Well, ladies, how can we help you tonight?" another nice-looking man said as he approached them. He looked at Angela first.

"Don't look at me! I'm not the one getting ink on me," she said, pointing to Nessie.

"all right...what would you like done today?" The guy smiled at Nessie, and she didn't quite know how to take it. His smile showed more to it than just niceness, but she quickly ignored the strange look. _Yep, he's looking at the crazy freak,_ she thought.

"Um, it's really simple." And Nessie started to tell him what she wanted. He kept looking at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. She studied his dark eyes as he listened to her describe what she wanted. She did notice how his black tattoos looked on his dark skin. Hers would be the polar opposite.

"Now for the million dollar question. Where do you want it?" he asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Here." Nessie pointed without hesitation to her lower stomach right at her hip bone.

She noticed that he took a big gulp when he eyed the place she wanted to have her ink.

"Laurent! Man, are you gonna be okay? I think you might need to let me do this one," the frowning red-head said to him.

"No, I got it, Victoria." His voice sounded a little defiant.

"A problem. Why would there be a problem?" Nessie asked innocently.

"Don't listen to her. I'm fine. I put tattoos on pretty, young girls every day," Laurent said, leading her to a table.

She ignored the comment and began taking off her long sweater as she walked. It was too warm in the tattoo parlor, and she would have to remove it anyway for the tat. She noticed Laurent stop when he realized what she had done. He gawked at her again, staring at her chest.

Nessie still wore a tank top; it wasn't like she was showing her bra to the world.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" Nessie questioned, confused.

It didn't take a moment for Angela to whisper in her ear.

"I think he's a little enamored with you, Nessie."

"What?" she asked in disbelief. "But why?" she asked and noticed that Laurent had left.

"I think I need to take over for a bit," the blonde-headed guy said, walking over to Nessie and Angela.

"Where did Laurent go?" Nessie asked .

"Oh." The guy chuckled a bit. "Something, um, came up."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, James. I suggest you go help Laurent take a cold shower because the only one who's putting a tat on Ms. Tits and Ass over here is me," Victoria said, pushing James out of the way.

"You're not going to tell me what to do, babe. I got this," James said almost like a scolded child.

"Well, _babe,_ this young lady is going to have to unzip her pants for me to get to the spot she wants that tattoo, and I'll be damned if my boyfriend is going to be drooling while he gets off putting the ink on. Now, go!"

Nessie just stood there amazed at the scene in front of her. Did she just cause two grown men to, well, get excited over her? She couldn't understand what about her would elicit such responses from them.

"God, they are such twelve year-olds. I have to do this every time one of you girls comes in here. all right, lay down. Let's get this over with," Victoria demanded.

Nessie laid down and counted the ceiling tiles as she waited for the needle to pierce her skin.

~o~O~o~

Jacob washed his hands and avoided the mirror. He knew he looked bad and realized the whiskey wasn't helping his cause either. He felt better after taking a piss and wanted to get back to the bar for his pity party for one.

He barely stepped one foot out the door when someone caught him off guard, grabbing him. The person pulled him to the small pay phone alcove at the back of the hallway. Jacob got his bearings after being pushed into a wall and looked up only to recognized that the person who had no concept of personal space was Reyan.

"What the..." he tried to speak before he found her fingers on his lips and her body too close to his.

"Shhh...I know you are hurting right now, but I know how to make a little of that pain go away," she said as her other hand ghosted up his chest, to his neck, and finally rested behind his neck. One of her bare legs began wrapping itself around him.

"I don't think..." he tried to speak again. But it didn't take long for him to feel her lips on his.

And she tasted all wrong.

~o~O~o~

Nessie couldn't quit laughing after leaving the tattoo parlor and neither could Angela. They both stopped on the sidewalk because walking became impossible. She knew going through with the tattoo would make her feel differently, but she didn't realize just how amazing it would be. She gently tapped on her sweater feeling the bandage underneath to feel her new tattoo. Doing so kept her from not believing she had actually gone through with it. Angela stayed right by her side. She had no idea why they laughed but didn't care. It felt good.

"Did it hurt?" Angela asked, holding her stomach; it ached from all the laughing.

"No. Not at all," Nessie answered honestly. In fact, she was surprised at how much it _didn't_ hurt. She probably could stab herself in the thigh, and the pain wouldn't even come close to the way she had felt all week. The small prick of the needle somehow awakened her senses and made her realize she was still alive. It wasn't much of a life without Jacob, but she was still here.

After the laughing had ceased, Nessie watched as Angela's eyes widened.

"Well, well, well. Look who's here hanging his tail between his legs," Angela said as she watched a remorseful Ben walk across the street.

"I'll be right back...don't go anywhere," Angela said, making her way to Ben. They immediately started to kiss, which made Nessie vomit in her mouth a little bit. Her mind raced to how Jacob would kiss her. She remembered how he would start out softly and tenderly, but then he would become needy and kiss her roughly. She loved how his lips felt and the stubble of his face would scratch a little. She soon ached for the way Jacob tasted.

Nessie crossed her arms and willed herself not to cry. She felt all alone in the middle of the night. She just needed him.

"Hey, you! You left your wallet." She heard someone say.

Nessie looked behind her and noticed it was Laurent who called out to her. She blushed a little remembering why he couldn't give her the tattoo and avoided looking at his eyes. She never thought of herself as the kind of girl who would turn guy's heads.

"Um, thanks," she said shyly.

"I figured you might need it," he said, pausing as if he were thinking of what to say next. "Look, I don't usually act like that. It's just that you took me by surprise, that's all. You're sort of beautiful, you know." Nessie fidgeted, becoming aware of this guy hitting on her. She didn't know what to do if he asked for her number.

Laurent must have sensed her reluctance to talk to him. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable either. Especially with you being upset about some guy and all." She took the wallet from him, surprised by him. She didn't expect the tough, tattoo guy to be...well, nice.

They both stood in silence in the darkness outside the shop. The blue neon sign still flickered above.

"How do you know about that?" Nessie asked.

"I heard you talking to your friend. Whoever he is is a dumb ass for letting you get away," Laurent said. Nessie knew the last part was supposed to be funny, but she didn't take it that way. Only she knew the truth because she was the dumb ass, not Jacob.

She started to think about Jacob and her euphoria started to wane. The high she felt from doing something a little out of character for her didn't last long. Her will power to be away from Jacob was lessening, as well. _If only I could hear his voice_ , she thought, _I would be okay._

"What time is it?" she asked Laurent.

"Quarter after one."

Did she dare? Would he even be awake? Would he still be celebrating his signing today? She didn't know but couldn't stand not talking to him any longer.

"Laurent, do you have a phone I could borrow?"

~o~O~o~

Jacob tried to push Reyan away without making her feel too rejected or hurting her, but it was hard. Her tongue kept trying to invade his mouth, but he somehow managed to keep it out of his. Jacob couldn't kiss her and didn't want to. Even though he technically wasn't with Nessie anymore, he felt like he would be cheating on her if he followed through with the kiss.

Jacob's body wasn't immune to the fact that her body next to his felt good. Having someone close to him like this was nice, but it wasn't the person he needed and craved like a drug. Reyan not only tasted all wrong, but she smelled wrong, too.

Before he could push her off him, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He felt Reyan's tongue on his neck. Any progress he made in getting her away only made her come at him with more gusto.

His hand found his phone and flipped it open, not looking to see if he recognized the number or not.

"What?" he asked perturbed, hoping that whomever it was would have a good reason for calling. The call only added to the awkward situation happening at the moment.

He heard someone sigh on the other end and then listened to silence.

"Hello?" he asked, getting ready to hang up.

He felt his earlobe being nipped by Reyan and tried to shrug her off.

"Reyan," he said in frustration at her not getting the hint to leave him alone. He didn't need this nuisance or the person who wasn't talking on the other end of the line.

Then suddenly, like a cosmic joke being played on him, he heard the sweetest voice on the other end of the line, but he also heard Reyan speak at the same time. His knees became weak realizing that Nessie was finally calling him.

" _Jacob?"_ the breathy voice called out over the line. Had she heard him say Reyan's name? God, he hoped not. But it didn't matter because Reyan spoke disregarding the call, still trying to seduce him.

"Tell them you're busy, Jacob," Reyan mewed as she ran her fingers through his hair. Her mouth was too close to the receiver for Nessie not to hear.

"Ness! Ness, baby," he yelled into the phone, but he heard nothing but dead air. Had he really just lost his chance to talk to her? Did this shit actually just happen?

Reyan tried to push herself onto him more, but he finally disregarded her safety and pushed her to the other side of the hallway. Luckily she wasn't hurt, just stunned.

Jacob went outside through the back door still yelling Nessie's name into the phone.

~o~O~o~

Nessie gave the phone back to Laurent with a shaking hand and tears in her eyes. She couldn't bear the thought of him with anyone else so soon. She knew it was inevitable that he would move on, but she at least thought he would have some sort of mourning period, too. The fact that Reyan was there with him made the pain worse.

She meandered to the outside wall of the tattoo parlor, needing something to hold her up. She tried to stay standing, but her knees gave way, and she sunk to the ground, holding her knees to her chest.

Any progress she made tonight in healing had been erased and the hole in her chest had ripped wide open again.

~o~O~o~

Well, there you have it...please don't throw things at me!


	28. Broken

**I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing.**

 **With a broken heart, that's still beating.**

 **In the pain, there is healing.**

 **In your name, I find meaning.**

 **So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on**

 **I'm barely holdin' on to you."**

 _ **Broken**_ **by Lifehouse**

a/n: please note that I wrote this story back in 2010-11 and technology has had many more advances since then.

~o~

It seemed like forever ago, but yet it had only been several days since the night Jacob had run out into the alleyway behind the Brass Monkey. He remembered the phone call that had come at the worst possible second. A moment in time that shouldn't have mattered. If he had only pushed Reyan away a few seconds prior to Nessie's phone call, then maybe things would be different. Instead, what should have been a reconnection between Nessie and him had been eclipsed by just a few words spoken by a woman he didn't care about.

Jacob heard the startled sound of Nessie's voice perfectly memorized in his head. He kicked himself over and over again for the situation he had gotten himself into. He sensed the hurt in Nessie's voice after she had heard him say Reyan's name. How could he have allowed himself to drink so much and let his guard down?

He sat on his front porch swing and stared into the darkness. Not even the crickets were chirping this crisp morning. He couldn't sleep, so he decided to come out here and think in the quiet moments before dawn. Insomnia was not welcomed when he couldn't shut her out of his mind. She had broken his heart, without a doubt, but he never thought that he would do the same to her in return. He would give anything to forget about her, but then again, he would die never to have her leave his mind. It was the double-edge sword he had to carry now—to hate her and to love her at the same time.

Jacob thought back to that night. He remembered running out the back door, screaming her name into the phone. His cries were met with silence. She hadn't hung up, so he kept hoping in those precious moments that Nessie would at least hear him out. Jacob had almost hung up the phone to redial the unfamiliar number when he heard a man's voice on the other end. Jacob pressed the phone hard to his ear, hoping somehow this person would help him talk to Nessie.

"What did you do?" the stranger asked Jacob. The baritone of his voice had a condescending tone, which added to Jacob's frustration.

"Who the hell is this?" Jacob had asked, infuriated. He needed this guy to help him, not make this mess any worse.

"Who the hell is this?" the man asked back.

"It's none of your business. Where's Ness? Why is she calling from this phone? What are you doing anywhere near her?" Jacob remembered asking. He was a thousand miles away, and had no way of being there for her. She wouldn't be with someone else, would she? His jealous side began to show, and he turned angry.

"I'm nobody to her, although I'd like to get to know her better. It seems she's hung up on someone else that I assume to be you. I'm looking at her right now, and she looks pretty distraught with your recent conversation, or lack thereof," the bastard had said. Why did he have to tell Jacob how badly Nessie was doing? If the guy could just rip Jacob's heart out and end his misery, it would be better than picturing her crying and upset over something stupid he had done.

"Please, give the phone to her. I need to explain. I need to talk to her." He remembered pleading with the guy he already hated. Jacob didn't think he had hated someone so quickly in his life.

"Sorry. I can't do that. Do you think I'm going to ruin this moment with her? Since you did something to screw it up, I can swoop in and be her shoulder to cry on. I don't know what you did, but I do need to thank you." The cockiness in the guy's voice emanated through the phone, causing Jacob to almost lose it. "Thanks, man."

The blood through Jacob's veins boiled, his skin felt like it was going to burst into a thousand pieces. He had never recalled being that angry before. Someone was going to mess with the girl he loved, and he was helpless to stop it. He hated feeling so out of control. Jacob didn't know this guy's intentions either. Nessie was too nice and too inexperienced to deal with jerks like him. He couldn't bear the thought of her getting into a bad situation and unable to get out of it. _If he so much touches her, I'm going to hunt him down and kill him, he thought._

"Look here, you mother fucker. You better not do anything to her. You hear me? You leave her alone, or I'll-" Jacob had threatened but was cut off from finishing.

"What are you going to do, huh? Beat me up? I'm ready, whenever you are." Jacob had imagined this guy bowing up his chest and holding his arms out wide, inviting a fight. Jacob then envisioned himself beating the living shit out of someone he had only spoken with for not even two minutes.

Then the line went dead.

He screamed into the night sky, almost crushing his phone with his clenched fist. The air escaped his chest, and he felt himself falling to his knees. He had never felt as useless as he did at that moment. No way to find her or contact her left him in a pit of despair. His only chance ruined by one stupid mistake that he didn't even have a choice in making.

He had held his head in his hands, feeling the dirty pavement underneath his knees. He could feel the cold, night wind blowing on his skin, cooling it off. Unexpectedly, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He shrugged it off upon seeing to whom those arms belonged, but Reyan wouldn't let him.

"Jacob, stop it! Let me-" Reyan shouted at him.

"Get off me. You've caused enough trouble," he had shouted at her, but she wouldn't take no for an answer, as usual.

Jacob felt himself break down little by little. Crumbled on his knees in a dirty alley had become a new low for him. Out of nowhere, he heard a loud sob echo and bounce of the brick walls around him. It took him a second to realize the sobs belonged to him. He felt the arms again, but didn't push them away this time.

"Shhh," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jacob. I didn't know how much..." she had trailed off, listening to him sob again. He knew she must have been taken by surprise at how broken he looked. "I didn't know how much you love her." And that's when he lost it. He buried his head in Reyan's lap and clinched the material of her dress. She just rocked back and forth, cradling him in her arms.

He didn't have anything left in him to see how embarrassing and humiliating this situation had become. At that moment, he didn't care how insane the two of them looked. An ex-girlfriend, who had ruined his chance with the woman he loved, was at this moment comforting him. He was so broken that the arms around him felt good, no matter how much he despised the person to whom they belonged. Reyan continued to hold him, allowing him to have his breakdown. He hadn't let himself go to pieces since Nessie had left her letter. He would tear up every now but always stopped, but the emptiness never went away. Nessie held the better pieces of him and took the good he had in him with her.

Jacob shook his head, trying to forget that night. He now stared into the dim light above the horizon, and he couldn't help but wonder what Nessie was doing and if today she would return one of his many emails. He didn't know how much of this he could take. Jacob loved Nessie more than his own life, but he didn't think he could bear the brokenness much longer. There was only so much rejection a man could take.

Jacob came out of his trance when he heard a door shut from inside of the house and knew his father was up. He headed inside, ready for some coffee and a small reprieve from the hurt he felt.

"Hey, Dad," Jacob said, watching the coffee begin dripping into the pot.

"No sleep again?" Billy asked with genuine concern in his voice.

Jacob just shook his head. He stared at the coffee brewing, not saying anything else to his father. He had been this way for almost three weeks now, only speaking when necessary. He could tell his father didn't like it, but he knew Jacob was grieving. Billy was good at giving his son space and time to work things out for himself. Jacob could feel his dad's eyes on him but felt relieved when Billy didn't say anything else. He filled his mug with black coffee and walked in his room, shutting the door behind him.

He heard his father mumble something, but he couldn't care less. Jacob felt masochistic in his obsession of writing to her everyday. What good did it do? It only humiliated him when he wrote to get nothing in return, and it became even more pitiful that he kept doing it over and over again. Each letter had him hoping that this time it would work, and maybe he would hear from her.

The coffee tasted perfectly bitter, burning his mouth a little, but he liked it that way. He set it down while finding himself a comfortable spot on his bed. He fired up his computer already composing his words to her in his head. He was no E. E. Cummings by any stretch, but he hoped his simple prose would get through to her somehow.

After logging into his email, he took a shallow breath, seeing her name on his screen.

She was online.

What was she doing up this early in the morning? He needed to ask himself the same question. His hand hesitated for a short moment, but then he decided: what did he have to lose? Another rejection from her? He should be used to it by now.

He clicked on her name, inviting her to chat and hoping she would finally say something to him.

~o~O~o~

The coffee smelled good brewing from the small pot. She had moved into her room since she decided on never leaving her space ever again. Nessie hadn't eaten much over the past few weeks, but coffee seemed to be a staple in her almost non-existent diet. Her loss of appetite didn't keep her Aunt Alice from ordering at least one full meal from room service every day. Food made her sick, and she didn't want to feel worse than she already did. Getting over the hangover she had the other day was no picnic either, and nothing edible had sounded good since. She didn't even attend the family's Thanksgiving meal at one of the nice restaurants in town. She had no desire to eat, much less be around anyone's glaring eyes.

She couldn't sleep, yet again, and focused on the drips of the black liquid and the sounds it made into the glass carafe. The clock read 4:38. Not a drop of light peeked in the window in the early morning, not that any would be able to get in with how tightly she kept the curtains drawn.

Her family had begun to be seriously worried about her. They knew she had been depressed lately about the break up, but Nessie knew they didn't understand the extent of her pain. Only her mother could related to her, but Bella resided at the rehab center a few miles away. Nessie refused to visit her mother, which only angered her father. It was a good thing she didn't care about her father's feelings anymore.

Bella had neglected Nessie for far too long, and now it was Nessie's turn to pay back her mother for the courtesy Bella had shown her daughter over the years, which was very little. The non-attentiveness had affected Nessie more than it should have because she felt too old to let her mother-issues run her life. Nessie didn't want to set one foot in that place with the two people who had devastated her completely and let her down beyond measure.

What good would family therapy do anyway? She was unable to speak to her father. She could barely look at him without nausea overtaking her thinning frame, which was another reason she closed her self up in her room. She had easy access to the toilet when the sickness would hit.

The less she saw of her family, the more chances she had not to add to her deteriorating condition. Her father's indifference to her suffering and his denial in the role he played in it were almost insufferable, so she chose to stay as far away from him as possible.

That was another reason for her not seeing her mother. Edward was always there. He did a fine job of taking care of Bella, but he just didn't quite grasp how to help his own daughter. Either he didn't know what to do, or he just didn't want to face the fact that he held the blame. If he would look into Nessie's eyes, he would be able to see how much of her life had been taken away from her.

That fact alone had to be the reason Edward never made eye contact with her.

The coffee finished brewing its four cups, and she gladly poured a mug full. She enjoyed the smell as it wafted to her nose when she brought it up to her lips for her first sip. She made her way to the armchair and saw herself in the mirror donned in Jacob's shirt as she walked. It had become her security blanket.

She moved Alice's things out of the chair and onto the side table. Her aunt had continued to conduct her business from Nessie's room. She claimed it was quieter here because Jasper never seemed to shut up. Alice said she could get more done in the peace and quiet of this room.

She half-way believed her aunt, but Nessie knew it was her Alice's semi-nurturing self making up excuses to keep tabs on her suffering niece.

After putting down the unorganized stack of books and papers on the small table, Nessie found a Post-It note with Alice's handwriting scribbled on it.

"Call Rose, Nessie. Don't make her more angry by not talking to her. She gets mad at me when you aren't. Make her stop!" the note read. Nessie crumbled it up and threw the yellow paper across the room. She noticed that Alice had left her business cell phone on the table for Nessie to use. She might call Rose later...maybe.

Nessie had no idea how to face her feisty aunt. If anyone could make her talk, it would be Rose. Even Jasper couldn't elicit the response that Rose could. Nessie wouldn't even have to speak because Rose would figure it out, just like she had figured out that Nessie was no longer a virgin. Nessie cared about Rose's opinion and wasn't ready to hear the blunt truth about things between Jacob and her. Rose would not hold back.

It wasn't like Nessie to push away the two people who actually would understand her and try to help. Her uncle had been scarce, too. Maybe her refusal to speak to anyone made Jasper give up on trying to console his niece. Being ignored make people who love you disappear. He still checked in on her but didn't hang around. Nessie figured the reason was that he couldn't stand watching her descend in a downward spiral.

Nessie lightly touched the bandaged tattoo, just to remind herself that the awful night had actually happened. Her one time to step out of her protective shell, as painful as it was, ended with her more broken than when she had begun.

Remembering Jacob saying that tramp's name when she finally had some liquid courage sent her reeling in despair. She recalled being unable to stand and had given the phone back to the tattoo guy and found a nice, cold spot on the sidewalk where her body could rest. She remembered feeling so weak as she pulled her knees to her chest, trying to let her body retreat into itself.

Nessie had also remembered the complete devastation of having been replaced by _her_. Even if Reyan was going to be a one-night stand for Jacob, he at least could have picked some other random whore.

She couldn't even imagine him being with anyone else in that way. Didn't they have something that couldn't be easily replaced? Were their bodies not made to be together? Their love making went beyond just fucking. Did he forget all of that? Her fingers ran through her damp hair. It was odd that she sweated on such a cold night.

"...Since you did something to screw it up, I can swoop in and be her shoulder to cry on. I don't know what you did, but I do need to thank you. Thanks, man." She heard Laurent say to what she could only assume to be Jacob. There was a short pause in the conversation, and Laurent ended with what sounded like a threat. "What are you going to do, huh? Beat me up? I'm ready, whenever you are." She didn't let Laurent's words process; the fact that Jacob was with her had made her crazy.

Nessie didn't look up but felt her hands being held by someone. In a brief moment, she felt limp like a rag doll as she was being pulled upwards. The drinking didn't help her motor functions either. Moving her seemed to be quite easy for the strong set of arms. She realized Laurent had finished talking to Jacob and was trying to console her by placing her uncomfortably close to his body.

She had remembered thinking _Where's Angela?_ knowing this was not a good situation. She didn't want Laurent to hold her; she wanted to be left alone, but her body had lost all of its support, and the signals her brain sent to make her body move and get out of his embrace had failed.

Vaguely remembering him moving her, she soon realized he had pulled her off to the side of the building, out of site from the main road. Sitting safely in her hotel room, Nessie gripped her coffee mug tighter upon recalling the unpleasant memory. He had pinned her against the brick wall and began speaking to her in a way that no girl should ever have to endure. He started to tell her things he wanted to do to her and how it would make her boyfriend jealous. He had reasoned that doing those awful things with him would somehow get back at her boyfriend for hurting her. Nessie would never want to do such things with this guy.

Laurent's lips grazed by her ear and down to her neck, inhaling her scent, and making her very nervous at the same time. She could feel her body slowly making the connection to her brain. _Get him off of you, Ness. Don't just sit here and take this,_ she could remember thinking.

"You smell delightful, Nessie. Just let me show you how I can make you feel better. I know you like me. I saw it in your eyes." And then his lips and teeth met the soft, sensitive skin of her neck.

Nessie had been trying to scream since her body started to come alive again, but her defenses were too slow in kicking in. Now that her body could move, his grip on her didn't allow her much wiggling room.

"No," she said barely above a whisper.

"Hmmm?" he responded. "I am sure you don't mean that, Nessie." He continued to kiss and bite on her neck.

With all of her strength she tried to push him away, but he only budged an inch. She remembered back to all her self-defense classes her Uncle Jasper put her through and ran through the check-list of things to do when in this type of situation. He had her arms pinned, but her legs were free. She remembered her Uncle teaching her that women's legs were the strongest part of their bodies and to use them whenever necessary.

Kicking him in the family jewels would be her only way to get out of this mess. When his hand began to trail down her arm onto her waist, she knew she had no time to waste.

Before Laurent knew what hit him, Nessie's knee wound itself up and made serious contact between his legs.

"Nessie! Nessie!" she heard her name being screamed from somewhere in the periphery of the darkness as she watched Laurent crumple to the pavement below.

He yelled a few obscenities at her before she took off running. It didn't take her long to find the voices yelling her name. Angela ran and took Nessie in her arms while Ben got the driver to come pick them up immediately.

She was beginning to hate the way she looked if this was the kind of reaction she received from men. Laurent and the guy at the club only wanted her for one purpose. Why couldn't every guy be like Jacob?

Ben and Angela had to help her back to her room and had left her tucked in her bed with her clothes still on. Angela had said she'd call her soon to check on her, but that call never came.

Nessie sipped her coffee again and needed to get her mind off her night from hell. Alice's computer still sat on the desk in her room. Maybe she'd finally open her email and try to re-read his messages. She needed some sort of comfort to let her know that maybe he hadn't slept with _her_. If his words were true, then he wouldn't have.

She wiggled the wireless mouse to wake up the sleeping laptop, wishing she could sleep so easily. After a few moments, her email unfolded in front of her. There were several more from him since the night of their fateful phone call. She contemplated opening them, but something held her back. Maybe she'd have the courage in a few minutes. Before her mind could figure out whether to read his words or not, a little noise chimed from Alice's computer, and a little screen popped up.

And there was Jacob Black's name on her screen, inviting her to chat.

She stared at the invitation. Should she accept it? What would happen if she did? She couldn't imagine what their conversation would be about; well, maybe she could. It would have to be about her leaving, the unanswered emails, and the other night.

Nessie's body hurt remembering that night and knowing who Jacob had in his company when she called. It crushed her to know that she could be replaced so easily by someone like Reyan. That alone made her contemplate refusing his request.

However, the need for Jacob overcame her, despite her reservations. Even if she weren't talking to him face to face, at least she would be having some sort of conversation with him. If he yelled at her the whole time, she would still be talking to him. That's all that mattered.

She hit the _okay_ button and waited.

~o~O~o~

He waited patiently at his chat request. All other ways of getting to her had failed. Instant Messaging her seemed to be his last chance.

Jacob sat up straight in his bed and had to rub his eyes to make sure what he saw next was real. She actually accepted his request to chat. His fingers fidgeted as they sat on the keyboard trying to figure out something to type. There was so much to say, but he had no idea where to begin. Words escaped him at the moment. He imagined her sitting by her laptop, playing with her hair, and wondering what to type, as well.

"Fuck it!" he exclaimed and began typing. It was short and sweet.

~o~O~o~

 _Hey_.

She watched as the first word from him came up on the screen. She twirled her hair around her finger, feeling anticipation, happiness, and sadness all at the same time. Nessie began to type.

 _Hey back._

She waited for his response, tapping her fingers in anxiousness. It had been too long without talking to him.

 _I miss you._ He typed. She was relieved that he did miss her and didn't think she could convey how much she yearned for him. Her desire and need for him went way beyond just missing him, but she typed the simple phrase back to him.

 _I miss you, too._

 _Really? I am having a hard time believing it._ Ouch! His words stung. He had a right to feel this way; he had no clue about the reasons behind her actions. All he knew was that she up and left him, and that gave him every right to be angry.

 _I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I do miss you...so much_. She wrote back.

How could he not know that she loved him? Nessie knew that he suffered and took his frustrations out on her. She totally deserved any harsh treatment he wanted to give her, but it didn't make it any less painful for her to take.

 _How are you?_ he asked.

 _You don't want to know._ She would not give him the details of how her life had been for the past few weeks.

 _Why can't you tell me the reason you ended everything? I am sure we can figure this whole thing out. Just talk to me_ , he wrote. She couldn't tell him anything and have him risk losing everything if she did. He mustn't give up his life just for her. It didn't make sense.

 _I can't discuss it. It's too painful, and it'll be bad for you to know._

 _I'm a big boy, Ness. I can handle it, or is it too painful because you can't tell your father what you really want?_

She sat in silence, not moving. He was right, and Nessie didn't know how to respond. Before she could even think of typing a retort, he responded again.

 _Has he threatened your trust fund? Is he going to cut you off for dating me?_ A knife pierced her heart as she read his words. She wondered how he could even believe such a thing. She got angry thinking that was what he thought of her.

 _You should know me better than that, Jacob, but you can believe what you want_. Nessie then hit send.

Then her Reyan-hating, vindictive side came out, and she impulsively typed her next message, hitting send without thinking about her words.

 _How was she the other night? Was she a good fuck?_ Send.

~o~O~o~

"Dammit!" was all he could say when he saw her response. He obviously pissed her off with the whole trust fund comment, but she hit him below the belt with the Reyan question. He knew she didn't know the whole truth. Could she really believe that something had happened between Reyan and him? He typed the same response she had given him earlier.

 _You can believe what you want. You should know me better than that. Besides, you don't need to be talking either. Who were you with the night you called?_ Send. He was being unfair, and he knew it, but his jealousy had gotten the better of him.

 _It's not something I want to talk about. I wasn't with him, Jacob, if you are worried about that._

 _Why can't you tell me?_ He was getting tired of not getting answers from her.

 _He wasn't nice to me. Please don't make me talk about him._

 _Did the MF hurt you? You have to tell me._ He waited for a long while for her response and knew something bad must have happened.

 _He started to..._

 _To...What? I can't stand the thought of him touching you, Ness. Did he...?_

 _He ended up on the ground after I kicked him in the balls, let's just leave it at that._ The image of her being touched by someone else against her will flashed in his mind. Then he knew that he had a very dangerous side to him because he just realized that he could murder someone without remorse. The guy who hurt her had a death wish. Ripping the jerk apart seemed quite pleasurable at the moment.

 _I'm sorry...for everything._ He sat for a moment and typed again, feeling remorseful for attacking her about her father and the random guy. Not being there to protect her bothered him the most. Jacob finally had communication with her after several long weeks of nothing, and this was how he treated her? He should have known better.

 _You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who needs to apologize_. She typed.

 _Nothing happened with Reyan, if you want to know the truth. She came on to me. The only girl I want to fuck is you_. And God did he want her so badly right now. If only he could see her and touch her, then he would feel so much better. Instead she was so far away.

 _I don't want to fight. He messaged_ , hoping they could just talk without their usual arguing. Even though there was so much to discuss, he didn't want to hash it out right now. Hopefully there would be another time for that.

He waited.

~o~O~o~

How she melted when she read his last message because all she wanted was to be consumed by him. She wanted to respond, but she didn't know how. How could she type that she only wanted him inside her, making love to her right now? Anything she typed would sound dirty, and she never talked that way before. Could she even do something like that? She wasn't sure. Jacob sent another message while she still contemplated hers.

 _Don't forget that I love you and want nothing more than to hold you._

 _I believe you that nothing happened._ She sent back quickly, needing him to know she knew he wouldn't have touched Reyan.

She found the nerve to type. _I want you to hold me, too...and touch me. I miss your touches._

 _Thanks for believing me. I want to touch you, too_ , he added. She took the laptop from the desk and moved to her bed. Her body began to react to his words as if he were right here beside her. He said he wanted to touch her, and she needed him to do so...now.

 _Please_ , was her response.

 _Tell me where,_ he demanded. Nessie wrapped her legs underneath her, pulled his shirt down over her thighs, and then tilted her head to the side like she had done so many times before to allow him to kiss her there.

 _My neck. I want to feel your hands there._

 _Touch yourself there. Pretend it's me._

Nessie touched her hands to the crook of her neck and lightly ran her fingers across her skin. She let her mind picture Jacob's fingers doing the light brushes. She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the moment, and couldn't believe what was happening. She and Jacob had taken foreplay to a whole different level.

 _It feels good._ She typed back to him, hopeful he would continue.

~o~O~o~

He immediately felt his body's response to just her typed words. _It feels good_ , was all it took for her to turn him on. She had no clue the effect she had on him, even in three, short, typed words. He knew this wasn't the ideal situation for him. He would rather have her in his bed than chatting with her on the computer, but he realized this was all he could get. He would take advantage of it, and pretend nothing had changed between the two of them.

He wanted more from her.

 _Do you want me to touch you more?_ he asked.

 _Mmmm Hmmm,_ she responded. He could imagine how her breathy, squeaky voice sounded. If only he could really hear her.

 _Take your hand and run it down to your breasts._ God, how he wanted to be a fly on the wall to watch her do such a thing.

 _What do I do with this old T-shirt I'm wearing?_ Was she really playing along? It sounded like she was. Damn, this conversation just got a hundred times better he thought to himself.

 _You know what I would do with the shirt_.

 _What_? she asked.

 _Rip it right off you_. He gave his honest response.

 _But it's yours. You might want to be gentle with it._

 _So that's where it went. I went mad looking for it._

 _I stole it. Sorry._

 _You know how to make it up to me, don't you?_

 _How?_

 _By throwing it on the floor._ He laid back on his headboard, moving his laptop to the side. His erection throbbed too much, and the computer on his lap wasn't necessarily the best feeling in the world for someone turned on like he was.

 _It's off and on the floor. It still smells a little like you, btw._

 _I want to be there with you, you know. I'd give anything to bring you another shirt._

 _I know. I wish you could, too. More...please_. God, Nessie knew how to drive him crazy.

 _Where were we?_

 _My breasts._ He just about lost it watching those words flash on his screen while picturing her breasts in his head with his hands exploring them. The thought of her naked and her hand touching her own body just about did him in.

 _Touch them._

 _How?_

Getting annoyed with the typing made him begin thinking of trying something else. He'd type forever if he had to, but he wanted to hear her voice, if they were really going to do this whole long-distance-sex thing properly. He sure hoped this was leading to sex.

 _Do you have a phone, baby? I gotta hear your voice. I want to hear you when I touch you._

Then he waited, and his body became impatient.

~o~O~o~

She scanned the room and found the phone Alice left behind.

 _Give me a moment_. She typed and then dialed his number.

~o~O~o~


	29. Promiscuous

**"Promiscuous girl,  
Wherever you are  
I'm all alone,  
And it's you that I want.**

 **Promiscuous boy,  
You already know  
That I'm all yours  
What you waiting for?**

 **Promiscuous girl,  
You're teasing me  
You know what I want  
And I got what you need.**

 **Promiscuous boy,  
Let's get to the point  
Cause we're on a roll  
Are you ready?"**

 _ **Promiscuous**_ **by Nelly Furtado**

"Hey."

Nessie held back her emotions, trying not to lose it. It seemed like forever ago that she was able to hear his voice. His rough, low tone had had always calmed her when things were tough; it also whispered suggestive things in hear ear that would make her blush. Missing him was hard enough, but hearing his beautiful voice only reminded her of how much she did. It hurt more than she thought it would.

Nessie had hoped that the pain would ease by getting to talk to him. She was wrong. It only made her yearn for him more. All she could think about was being wrapped in his arms and not ever leaving. She found a sense of security in his embrace, and she felt now that she had lost it. How could she get through each day knowing he wouldn't be able to hold her?

"Hey, Jacob...I...I..." Words failed her as her throat felt itself tighten, as if having the beginnings of an asthmatic attack.

"It's good to hear from you...So good," he said in his gravelly, early-morning voice that she had heard only a couple of times before but not near enough.

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, hoping to keep from crying. Nessie didn't know how long she would have to talk to him. She knew her family still slept, but she never knew when her erratic aunt would show up.

 _Click._

Nessie walked away from the door to her room after locking it. Even with a key, no one could enter. That way she could have Jacob all to herself. Even if he were just on the other end of the line, she would get to spend time with him. She would have Jacob any way that she could.

"I want to say so much, but then I don't really feel like talking," he confessed. Jacob didn't know how long he'd get to talk to her, and his body ached to be near her. Talking versus phone sex? His dick would make the call on that one and would most definitely win. He sat with a hard-on bigger than Dallas and knew that only she could help him with his current situation. Even if his own hand would get him off this morning, he would be doing it listening to her on the other end. His erection twitched just thinking about her touching herself _there_. "How long do we have to talk?" he asked.

"I think we have as long as we want. It's so early and...I've locked the door." Nessie listened for a response from him, but he was too quiet. "You have to talk to me, Jacob. I need to hear you voice," she said. She had sat back down on the bed, laying back on the soft, down pillows. Her almost naked body made itself comfortable on top of the silky comforter.

"I want you to come back home. I can't take this much longer," he uttered.

"I know...I want to be home, too, but it's so complicated." He didn't realize how problematic her situation was.

"I don't get it or understand..." He stopped before he started to ask again.

He knew she wasn't going to say anything about why she left. Jacob always loved her resolve and stubbornness, but her being tight-lipped about everything started to upset him. Of course he wanted to talk things through and get to the bottom of what was happening with her, but he couldn't yet. Jacob knew that she wasn't technically his girlfriend anymore; he had the Dear John letter to prove it. Yet his heart would always belong to the girl who breathed heavily on the phone with him right now. It didn't take a moment for him to calm himself down from the frustration he felt towards the situation. He didn't need to ruin a possibility of being with her tonight. The throbbing in his boxers reminded him of that. He wanted her and needed this night to happen, but most importantly, he had to know if he still meant anything to her.

"Jacob?" softly, she spoke.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Can we not discuss... _things..._ right now? I am barely hanging on right now, and I just need to, um..." She couldn't finish her thought. She was a good girl, even though she had done wonderfully bad things with Jacob. Could she even say the things out loud that she thought so often of him? The dirty things that always rested in her head but never came out. Did he have any idea the way he made her body feel?

"Need to what, Ness?" he asked knowingly. He knew her better than she knew herself. That was one of the many reasons they belonged together. He sensed she wanted the same thing he did.

She breathed heavily into the receiver and began tracing her free hand in circles on her bare stomach.

"Need you to make me...feel good." How many times had she asked him to do that? Usually, her need was an urgent desire for him. The way he worked her body and made it feel things she didn't know existed helped her escape her horrible home life. Jacob's touches and kisses were more than enough to help her through the hard times. Throw in his body and the things he could do with it, and it was the ultimate bonus. "You know how, right?"

"You mean knowing how to talk on the phone?" he smiled thinking about how awkward she must be feeling right now. He couldn't help but joke around; it was just what he did.

"No, stupid. To talk like we're...you know...Come on, Jacob. Are you going to make me say it out loud?" she laughed as if nothing bad had transpired over the past few weeks between them.

"Yes. Say it." _Damn straight I'm gonna make you say it,_ he thought.

"So..do you want the nice-Ness version or the dirty one?" she asked, knowing which one he'd choose.

"I'm not in the mood for nice, if that helps," he said without hesitation.

"You're impossible, you know."

"So I've been told. Now tell me what you need, baby. I can't do this on the phone if you aren't able to talk a little dirty."

"I don't just want you to touch me." She swallowed the lump in her throat and felt her heart pulsating all over her body.

"Go on..."

"I want..." she paused, summoning the courage to request it.

"Just say the words, Ness. You know it only turns me on more." Jacob loved this game. Torturing her was fun, and getting her to open up sexually with him made him that much more happy.

The stupid Nike slogan _Just Do It!_ ran through Ness' head, and she figured it was better late than never.

"I want you to fuck me, please...so badly," she finally asserted.

"That's my girl. I want to do nothing else, baby. I wish I could be in bed with you now, holding your body next to mine." Jacob had to push away his frustration with their situation. Whatever her father had done or said to her kept him from having her by his side.

"Me, too. Since that's not an option, what do we do now?"

"I'm just going to start talking to you, telling you things to do. Just pretend it's me doing those things, okay? Are you ready?"

"Yes," she barely could get out her answer.

"Can you remember how my hands felt when I would run them all over your body?" He surely didn't forget the way her skin felt when he did. He remembered the soft, suppleness of her body and how much he enjoyed touching it.

"Of course." How could she forget the feeling of _those_ hands on her skin. She had been branded by his touch. No other touch would ever compare or measure up.

"Remember our first night on the beach together?"

"Mmm hmm," she whispered. She could never forget the night she fell head over heels for him. The ocean, the fire...Him. It was perfection wrapped up into one, unforgettable moment.

"I had to stop kissing you because I was afraid it would go too far. Remember?"

"Yes," she breathed, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Well, right now, I'm going to tell you everything I wanted to do to you that night." He heard a high-pitched _oh_ on the other end of the line, her signature noise when she was turned on. "My hands aren't going to stop at your hips this time."

Ness blushed at his forwardness and smiled at knowing what was to come. She felt her insides wake up, knowing he would make it all better—at least for a few moments.

"I am so glad you're over your _being a gentleman_ phase," she paused for a quick second, deciding to spur him on. "I knew you liked the fact I hadn't worn a bra that night. I remember your hand slowing itself quite a bit by them as you trailed it down my body."

"You have no idea what I wanted to do to you. It shocked the hell out of me. You made it very hard for me to control myself. I just wanted to get you naked to see what my hands had touched, but I was a good boy."

"Well, Good Boy, tell me what you would have done. Isn't that what we're doing?" she asked.

"Taking off your dress would have been the first thing. I wanted to rip it off your body that night, but I held back since I was being so good. But now that I am plotting evil things to do with you, I would have moved your dress slowly up over your head, enjoying every bit of your body as it came into view." He could remember so vividly her on top of him on that night, but this time he imagined her naked with her pale skin glowing by the fire.

His fantasy rendition of that night brought about an ache in his cock. Trying to see to her needs first as he wanted might not be a good plan tonight. He might have to take care of himself as he talked her through their erotic phone conversation.

Nessie made herself more comfortable on her bed. Her hand began to move to her chest, knowing how much Jacob loved it there. Her breasts always drew him in like a magnet.

"I am touching my breasts, Jacob," she whispered in a low sultry, voice as she moved her palm, taking her right breast in her hand. She slowly grasped around the fullness of her curves and then ran her fingers over her nipple, making it taut.

"God, Ness. Really?" He still couldn't believe she was playing along. His boxers quickly made their way off his body after hastily locking his door. No interruptions were needed this morning. He sat on the edge of his bed, ready and waiting. His foot impatiently tapped on the carpet.

"How does your breast feel, Ness?"

"Soft," she sighed as she arched her back into her hand, just as if Jacob were touching her.

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut imagining her naked and caressing her breasts. He would give up everything to touch her. "What about your nipples, Ness. Have you made them hard yet?"

"Yes," she answered, suddenly feeling a small shock of pleasure.

"Take them between your fingers and gently pinch them like I do. Let me hear how it makes you feel," he requested. Her cries of pleasure would be his big bonus today. Get himself off while listening to her would help his depression fade away.

"Ohhh," she moaned a little. "Mmmm. It feels good, but not like when you do it, Jacob."

"Keep pretending it's me. Keep rubbing your tits, baby." It wasn't long before his hand was on his hardness. He thought he could delay a little pleasure, but the sensory overload of Nessie touching herself became too much.

"You know what I wanted to do?" she asked to his surprise.

"Yeah, tell me," he began stroking himself, slowly, wanting to make this time together last.

"After I took your shirt off, I wanted to kiss you on your chest. I remembered seeing you bare-chested in the garage that day; I wanted to see you shirtless again. I wanted to lick you all over—over every muscle. I wanted to trace my tongue down your abs to the button of your jeans."

His pumping increased unconsciously. She wanted to lick him, and him imagining her doing so sent him into overdrive.

"But not before I took your breast with my tongue. I would have sucked it, Ness, until I felt it harden. Then I would have done the same to your other one, not wanting to play favorites." She heard him chuckle as she gave herself one last pinch of satisfaction before she made her next move.

"There's a problem, Jacob." He stopped moving his hand on his dick for just a moment hoping all was okay with her. He didn't want any complications.

"When your hand rested on my hips, I never told you that I practically soaked my panties wanting you to touch me more."

"Fuck," was all he could say, relieved that she was just talking dirty to him.

"What are you going to do now?" she coaxed him further.

"You're were wet, huh?"

"Very."

 _Fuck me again,_ he thought.

"Then I would have taken my fingers and run them underneath your panties. Do you remember which ones you were wearing?"

"I do. They were pink, lacy ones," she answered softly. Then she added one more piece of information she knew he would enjoy. "It was a thong."

Jacob's groan from the other end of the line let Nessie know he was turned on by her describing such simple things as her panties. The thought of his abs tightening as Jacob touched himself, jacking off to what she said made her even more wet. Imagining his huge erection in his hands made her moan a bit. She knew not everyone was built like Jacob—not all men were created equal. Jacob had something to be proud of, and Nessie got more excited recalling how it felt to be completely filled by him.

Nessie's hand went under her panties as she lay relaxed with her legs parted, listening to Jacob's heavy breathing and occasional moan on the other end.

"Would you have rubbed your fingers up and down me once you got underneath my panties, like I'm doing now?" He seemed to be moaning more than talking, so she had to add to the conversation.

"Unf, yeah, ah...I would take my fingers and feel how wet you were, taking a few passes from your entrance to figure out what I'd want to do next."

"Oh, I am so wet for you Jacob...ah..hmm...you would enter me so easily right now," she hummed while her fingers caressed her folds. She had never touched herself like this before, doing so came surprisingly natural to her. It felt so good, almost like having Jacob there doing it for her.

She heard him make some indecipherable noise when she began touching herself. Ness knew that what she was doing with herself was driving him crazy. Soon he came back on the line, "After I got you all wet, I would have taken my finger and entered you, moving it in and out gently," he panted. Keeping the pace on his shaft he sucked in a breath. Her fingering herself was almost too much. He couldn't forget how it felt to have his fingers in her pussy.

Jacob heard her moan a bit as she began moving her fingers in and out of her entrance. He imagined her with her legs wide open on the bed, ready for him.

"How is it, baby. How are my fingers feeling?"

"Oh, Jacob. So...good, but not enough. I need something more..." What she needed was his dick inside her, making her climax. She always had an orgasm or two from him, and she knew that she would not be disappointed this morning.

"Add another finger and slightly curve them once they're inside. They'll hit a spot I think you'll like," he instructed, giving away his secrets.

Nessie held the phone close to her ear and took her forefinger and added it to her middle one. She pulsated a few times added to her pleasure but not feeling satisfied. Then she hooked them, just like he had instructed, and pushed her fingers as far inside herself as she could.

A huge moan emanated from her body and reverberated through the phone to his ear.

"Oh, God, Ness. It feels good, doesn't it, baby? I wanted so badly to take your pussy with my fingers that night and make you come. I wanted to feel you tighten around my fingers."

"Ah...oh...Jacob, would you have fucked me with your fingers like this?

"God, yes," he said breathing heavily, continuing to move his hand up and down.

"Oh, I wish you would have. It feels so good, ah, God!" she cried, moving her body in sync with her fingers.

"That's it baby. Fuck yourself. Pretend I'm there. Do I make you feel good?"

"Yes, Jacob, yes...Don't forget I'm touching you, too. I wanted in your pants just as much as you wanted in mine." She didn't want to be left out of the fun. "My hand is around you right now, pumping you, Jacob...Oh!" She couldn't believe she was talking like that while getting herself off. It was the most liberating feeling in the world. She would have preferred Jacob coming inside her than doing so by her own hand. However knowing she could feel this way by herself, freed her a bit.

"You feel good in my hands, Jacob. You're so big." She imagined him moving inside her, bringing her to the brink, screaming his name over and over again in euphoria.

"Your pussy is dripping on my hands. Are you getting closer?"

"Mmm hmm. Oh, don't stop." Nessie's fingers were furiously moving in and out of her. She felt so ready to orgasm, but something was holding her back and didn't know what it was.

"Do you want to come, baby? Are you ready?" he asked sensing her need.

"Yes...oh, God, yes." She hurt just wanting to find her release.

"You'll have to set the phone down and use your other hand. Do you think you can do that?"

"Anything, Jacob. Just make me come, please." Her hips thrust into her hand, trying to increase the friction.

"I would have touched your clit, baby. Do it. Rub your clit now, Ness. Touch it and let me hear you, please." His hand made quick, shallow passes at his base, preparing for what the sounds of her climax would do to him.

Nessie rested the phone by her head, so she could still hear him grunting as he got himself off. She slid her other hand down her body, stopping at the top of her other hand. She searched for the spot Jacob had touched many times before. She knew what it did to her, and she needed to stroke herself there to end her beautiful agony.

Once she hit the swollen flesh, she knew her pleasure would soon increase. Her fingers rubbed it up and down while the others still pulsated inside her, building up her release.

"Oh, oh...Jac-" she couldn't finish her thought because the rippling effect began. She could feel her walls throbbing around her fingers, and she finally knew what her body felt like on Jacob's cock when she came all around him.

He heard her cries on the phone and furiously moved his hand up and down on himself. He laid back on the bed, listening to her cries, which sent him in the deep end. The base of his dick began to tighten and he could feel his release coming and coming hard.

"Ness, I am about to..." He could feel the build up, stretching the sensitive skin on his shaft.

"Oh, oh...Jacob...I'm there. I'm coming." She rubbed furiously back and forth and soon hit the spot just right. She moaned loudly and felt her juices flow all over her fingers.

At the same time, his seed flowed on his hand, and his pumping ceased. He made one last grunt and stilled himself on the bed. Her walls soon stopped the milking of her fingers, and she relaxed with a deep sigh. Even a thousand miles away, Jacob could make her feel this way. They both listened to the other panting, recovering from their little tryst.

"I so wished you would have done that to me on that night, Jacob. I wouldn't have stopped you, you know?"

"Exactly. One of us had to have some self-control," he joked, knowing he had none when he was with her.

"That was amazing. I didn't know we could do something like that and be so far away," she sighed.

"You've experienced first-hand what happens when we are physically together. It's beyond amazing, so phone sex shouldn't surprise you," he boasted.

Jacob found a shirt that was on the floor and began cleaning himself off, keeping her on the line as he did. He fell back on his bed, feeling sleepy all of the sudden.

"I'm actually exhausted now. I haven't slept well lately." He yawned and laid down, resting his head on his pillow.

"Then you should sleep," she coaxed.

"No, I want to keep talking." He didn't know when he'd get to speak to her again.

"Okay, let's talk," she conceded. Nessie held the phone to her ear as she moved the covers enough to slide in underneath them. She suddenly felt tired, too.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of them as they both settled in their beds as if together. She imagined him spooning her, wrapping his strong arms around her.

"Come home, please. We can work it out," he said, yawning again. His eyes suddenly felt heavy, and he was unable to keep them open. Sex always did this to him, making him feel like he took a whole bottle of sleeping pills.

Nessie didn't respond immediately. She couldn't come home yet, and even if she did, she couldn't be with him.

"It's just a little difficult right now," she replied and waited for an answer.

She heard nothing.

"Jacob?" she asked, wondering if he were still awake. She heard him mumble something, but she couldn't make out what he had said.

Then she heard his deep breathing on the other end, realizing he had drifted off to sleep. Knowing how precious sleep was for him, she decided against waking him.

"I love you. Remember that, Jacob. I'll always love you," she whispered. She listened to him breath for a few minutes. Her cheeks became wet from the tears that rolled down them. What was she going to do? She knew it would be difficult to be away from him, but it would have to be her burden to bear.

It took all her resolve to hang up, but she did.

~o~O~o~

Jacob headed to the work for his shift at Dowling's Garage. The new job was a God-send since he lost the one with Sam. He would get to work full-time during the winter holidays and would be able to scale back and work only on the weekends when school and football off-season started. He wouldn't let any of his coaches know he had a job, which went against NCAA rules. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He and Billy needed the money. Even with his friends' help, there still wouldn't be enough funds to support his small family unless he worked.

"Hey, Jake," a mechanic named Joe called out as he entered the garage.

"Hey! What's new today? Am I still working on the '72 Ford today?" Since the break up, Jacob had thrown himself into his new job. He especially enjoyed reworking some of the older cars and trucks that made their way into their place of work. The late hours didn't bother him. In fact, it took his mind off the fact that Nessie hadn't called him back yet. It had been only a few days, but it felt like an eternity.

"Yeah, the owner likes what you're doing with it, so it's all yours," Joe said to Jacob, not even looking up from under the hood of the car he worked on.

"Sweet." It surprised Jacob to actually be excited about something lately. Even though he couldn't fix his relationship problems, he could at least fix the truck.

He had just popped open the hood when he heard his cell phone ring. Glancing at the number, he recognized it as the one Nessie had called him from the other morning. A smile erupted across his face, anticipating her voice.

"Hey, Ness!" he answered happily.

"Jacob Black?" the male voice asked sternly.

Jacob didn't know what to say. He had expected his Nessie's voice. It didn't take him long to realize to whom the voice belonged.

"Mr. Cullen," Jacob replied dryly. His only thoughts were only on Nessie and her well-being at this moment.

"This won't take long. You just need to know that Nessie will no longer be calling or contacting you in any way. Do you understand?" Edward's voice sounded distant and angry. Jacob could feel the tension seeping through the phone.

Jacob was about to argue with her father but fought the urge to do so.

It wouldn't have done any good because Edward hung up the phone before Jacob had a chance to say anything back.

~o~O~o~


	30. The Reason

"I'm sorry that I hurt you.  
It's something I must live with everyday.  
And all the pain I put you through.  
I wish that I could take it all away,  
And be the one who catches all your tears.  
That's why I need you to hear...

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be.  
A reason to start over new,  
and the reason is You."

 _The Reason_ by Hoobastank

~o~

" _Mom! It's time. Daddy said to get the camera," Nessie called as she headed up the stairs to her parent's room._

 _The night of her Junior-Senior Prom had arrived, and Tyler had shown up already and was chatting with her father in the study. She only had dated him for a few months and felt excited that he agreed to be her date. She felt special because she would be going with such a popular guy; he was the quarterback for the University of Forks, after all. She couldn't believe he had agreed to be her date and come to a piddly high school dance...With her._

 _Even though she didn't fully understand the idea of a serious, dating relationship and all that it entailed, she loved the idea of it. She delighted in the essence of romance and those ivory-tower thoughts she grew up reading about. Those innocent interpretations of love flooded her overactive, teenage-girl imagination. She felt giddy just thinking about Tyler. Her father liked him. He was handsome, and he had chosen her to be his girlfriend, which was a big deal to her. Nessie couldn't wait to see what the night would hold._

" _Mom, come on! Tyler looks like he's getting impatient. You were supposed to already be downst..." Nessie froze when she entered her mother's room because Bella sat on the edge of the bed in nothing but her bra and panties, not anywhere near ready to be presentable to guests._

 _Nessie didn't know what to do or say._

" _God, not again. Not now. Why do you have to choose tonight of all nights?" she cried, throwing her satin scarf that had adorned her neck down on the floor in frustration. She cursed the tears that ruined the makeup Alice had spent half an hour doing. Alice had made her look like a princess by taking care of all the details for the night. She chose a short, green dress for Nessie to wear. The spaghetti straps showed off the smooth skin on her shoulders, and the bodice gathered right below her bust line, which seemed to have blossomed quite a bit this year._

 _Bella looked at Nessie, dazed and somewhat confused._

" _What, sweetie? What did I do?" Bella asked, trailing her hands across her bare stomach. Her wild hair contrasted to the almost sedated look her face held. The bottle of gin fell to her feet. Nessie had entrusted her mother to take the pictures for the night, thinking Bella could at least be responsible for that one thing. She was wrong._

" _You...you promised that you'd take pictures tonight. It's my first prom, Mom. Remember? I specifically asked you to...to be..." Nessie knew her mother was an alcoholic but couldn't even admit it out loud to herself. "...to be ready tonight. I need you, my mom, to take pictures with my boyfriend...and you..you're..." She knew the mascara was oozing down her cheeks now._

" _I'll be theerre in jussst a minute. Let me jussst ressst," Bella slurred. It took only a few seconds for Nessie to watch her mother lay down on the bed and pass out._

 _Nessie didn't know what to do, and she soon heard someone rustling behind her. It was Alice._

" _Come here, Nessie. I can fix you right up. Boys have to get used to waiting on us girls, anyhow. Just ask your Uncle Jasper," her aunt said, trying to make her feel better._

 _Nessie gave a smile to Alice and was truly thankful for having her aunt take care of the things Bella didn't, but a part of her ached for her mother. Why did her mom have to drink? Why did every big moment in Nessie's life have to be overshadowed by the liquor bottles Bella never was without?_

Nessie now stood at the open door, afraid to go inside. Walking into her mother's suite at the rehabilitation center had obviously brought back some painful memories from her past. Her hand braced itself on the frame because her balance seemed a little off today. Add her nervousness to the constant nausea she felt, and it spelled disaster. Accidents happened naturally with her, she didn't need anything else making matters worse. She was so much like her mother, and she hated to admit it.

She could see her mom from the doorway, sitting outside on the balcony taking a drag of a cigarette, while the sun seemed to shine just on her. Bella's smoking was new to Nessie. Taking up one bad habit for another seemed to be normal protocol here at rehab. At least smoking was the lesser of two evils to Nessie. She watched as the cigarette met her mom's lips. Nessie realized she was looking at a different Bella. She looked like the Bella from many years ago before the drinking dominated her life. Her brown hair blew in the soft breeze, and Nessie forgot how beautiful her mother really was...Until now. She had to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek. Her emotions seemed to be all over the place lately, and talking to her mother made her almost want to vomit.

Every missed recital, sporting event, and school play culminated to this moment. Every absence from the bed-time stories and kisses came flooding back to Nessie. The little girl hurt by her mother's disease lived inside this nineteen-year-old woman. How would she even begin this conversation?

She hadn't seen her mom since their arrival in Tahoe. She hadn't stepped foot in the rehab until today. Bella had been here a little over a month and was getting ready to go home, just in time for Christmas. She would be discharged today, and Nessie finally decided to visit her before they left. Nessie needed to see if her mom was better and if anything would be different. She wouldn't be getting her hopes up.

 _Walk. Just walk, Ness,_ she said to herself. Nessie took her hand off the door and began crossing the carpeted room. She made it to the bed and stopped a few feet shy of the opened, sliding-glass door.

She watched as Bella took one last drag and pressed the cigarette into the ashtray. Her mother took a double take at the figure who seemed to hover close by unexpectedly. The surprise visit didn't seem to startle Bella at all.

A very familiar but uncharacteristically lucid set of eyes stared back at Nessie. A smile spread across her thin face.

"You came," Bella whispered, taking a small, tentative step towards her daughter. Bella's once gaunt frame looked like it had gained a little weight, which made her look healthy for the first time in a long while. Nessie knew for a fact that the way she herself looked drew stark contrast from her mom. It seemed that once Bella got better, Nessie's well-being had taken a nose-dive.

Nessie looked down to the floor unable to look her mother in the eye. Bella seemed to have it together and was aware of her surroundings. Could she really be sober right now? Nessie couldn't remember the last time she had spoken to her mom when she wasn't three sheets to the wind.

"I did come. Not sure why, though," Nessie finally answered.

"I don't care why you came. I'm just glad you did."

"I really don't believe you," Nessie confessed. Years of hurt and neglect had made her very distrusting of anything her mother had to say.

"I understand why you think that, but I am still glad that you are here."

"Are you...better?" Nessie needed to know.

"Yes," Bella said confidently. Nessie wanted to believe her mom, but she had been let down too many times to have faith in her words.

"Are you going to stay...that way?"

"With everything I have in me, I am going to make damn sure I don't go back to where I was a month ago or where I've been for the past ten years. I didn't like who I was."

Nessie smirked at that comment.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked.

"It's just funny because I didn't like who you were, either."

"Oh," her mother said with a sigh. "I wasn't very fun to live with for a long time, was I?"

"No," Nessie answered quickly, not offering any more explanation than required.

An awkward silence filled the room. Nessie didn't have to say a word; she deserved to hear her mother's explanation for throwing away the past ten years of both their lives.

"I've changed, Renesmee. I promise." Bella admitted, breaking the quiet of the moment.

She used Nessie's full name, as only she did. It hurt and comforted Nessie to hear her mother say _Renesmee._ Bella took another step towards her daughter like she were about to embrace her, and Nessie stiffened her body as she did. She couldn't remember the last time she had really hugged her mother. She wasn't sure if she were ready for that affection right at this moment. Luckily Bella stopped the almost-hug, noticing her daughter's body language.

"Getting help here and talking to people who truly want me to survive this disease has been the best thing for me. I discovered a lot about myself and how I allowed myself to get so bad," Bella continued.

Nessie didn't budge. She knew how her mom got that way. Nessie now knew the truth about her family's past and realized that she herself had caused these problems just by being born. She blamed herself for her mother's addiction. She didn't even blame her father, although deep down she knew she should. He was a lost cause in her mind-heartless from the beginning. He wouldn't have treated her mom the way he did if Bella hadn't become pregnant.

Bella seemed to notice her daughter's silence and reluctance to open up.

"Here, come sit with me." Bella took Nessie's shaking hand and led her to the edge of the bed. Nessie sat down at Bella's side, and her mother never let go of Nessie. Her cool fingers began stroking the top of her daughter's hand. Nessie's eyes became fixated on the subtle but sweet gesture. Affection between mother and daughter had been lacking for quite sometime now.

"I want to tell you something before we go home and life hits us full force, okay?" Bella looked to her daughter for permission to keep going. Nessie looked at the brown eyes that matched her own and said _okay._

"I will never be able to make up for what I have done to you. I will never be able to apologize enough for putting you through something no child needs to go through. Life just dealt me a bad hand, and I didn't know how else to deal with it. Your father can be..."

"An ass," Nessie interjected.

Bella laughed through a small sniffle at Nessie's comment, not fully understanding that her daughter wasn't joking.

"Yes, he can be an ass, and a controlling ass, at that. I need to tell you that I have to work through some issues with him before I can be whole again, but my first priority is you. I need you to know how sorry I am. I don't expect you to forgive me...ever, but all I want is for you to give me another chance to be your mom." Bella wiped a few runaway tears from her cheeks with one hand and squeezed Nessie's hands with the other.

Nessie's hurt feelings began to surface and her mother's tears affected her more than she expected. How could her mother apologize for something that Nessie had caused? Of course she had been hurt and disappointed by her mother's drunken behavior for years, but that didn't erase the fact that Nessie's existence in this world made Bella become an alcoholic. Talking with her Grandpa Charlie revealed that much to her. Every problem between her mother, father, and family had been about her. From the moment Bella found out she was pregnant, all hell had broken loose.

"I really want a mom again. I really need you...Especially now," Nessie said, scooting closer to her mom. _I need your help with Jacob,_ she thought, but she knew they had to deal with other things first. Then she said something that got her mother's attention. "I've talked to Grandpa Charlie, Mom. I know how hard it was for you. You shouldn't have to apologize to me."

Bella's head shot up, and her body barely backed away from Nessie, in order to get a good look at her daughter.

"You talked to my dad? When?"

"A while ago."

"How is he?" Bella asked.

"He's okay. He misses you."

"What...What..." Bella cleared her throat unable to speak clearly. "What did he say to you?"

"He told me everything. I know it all, Mom. About Dad leaving you, the fight with Grandpa...the abortion...I know it all," Nessie revealed, looking her mom squarely in the eye.

"Oh, God. You must hate me." Bella's hand flew to her mouth, gasping in horror that her daughter had been told the family's darkest secrets. "I don't know how you can sit here and be in the same room with me right now. Oh, baby. I am so sorry." Bella's arms immediately wrapped around Nessie, but her daughter wasn't ready for the apology she felt she didn't deserve.

"I don't blame you, Mom. I am mad at you for so many things, but it's not your fault that you got this way." Nessie pushed her mom away and stood up and walked to the doors of the balcony, placing her hand on the glass. The sun felt warm, which felt good on her always cold body.

"What's wrong, Renesmee? There's something you're not telling me...You know it is solely my fault for having to be here. I may have had some shitty things happen to me, but no one put a drink in my hand but me. I have only myself to blame. You know that, don't you?"

Nessie's slapped the glass with her palm, surprising Bella, who now stood looking at her troubled child from behind. "God, Mom! You just don't get it, do you? You should have aborted me when you had the chance."

Bella quickly closed the distance that separated her from her daughter. She roughly took Nessie's shoulders with both hands and spun her around to face her. "Don't you ever say that again, Renesmee! Don't you ever think for one minute that my choice to keep you was a mistake. I can not have you even thinking that would be an option." Bella's cries to her daughter came out in between her short gasps for air.

"But it was an option. If it weren't for Jacob's parents, you would have..."

"Stop it! Don't talk about it. It's over and done with..." Bella tried to reassure her daughter but was soon interrupted.

"Don't you see, Mom? Can't you see that my very existence is the reason you got this way. Whether I chose to be the cause of your illness isn't the point here, either. If I hadn't have been born, then you wouldn't be in this place. Dad wouldn't have left you. Charlie would still be in your life, and you would have never been separated from the ones you loved. There wouldn't have been a reason for you to drink."

"Quit saying these things, Resnesmee. You aren't being rationale."

"Your life wasn't your own, Mom. Did you even get to see Sarah before she died, or did Dad keep you from her, too? Did you even get to live the life you wanted to have? Was being cooped up in that mansion without any real friends or family any way to live? Because I've tried to do it for nineteen years now and have only gotten more hurt the older I have gotten." She hung her head down in shame, burying her head in her hands.

Bella just stared in silence at her daughter, dumbfounded.

"It's not your fault those things happened. You were a baby, Renesmee. An innocent child whom everyone loved and adored. Don't you think for one minute you caused any of this to happen." Nessie brushed hair out of her face and quickly put it up in a messy bun with the rubber band she almost always had around her wrist.

"You can say that all you want to, Mom, but you can't tell me there isn't some truth in it," Nessie mumbled.

"I will never say that. I don't understand why you are saying such awful things. How can you believe it?"

"How can I believe it? You checked out for the past ten years. You have no idea what has been going on in my life and have no idea what Dad has been like. I sure as hell don't feel wanted...Haven't in a long time. Does that help answer your question? If it weren't for Aunt Rose and Uncle Jasper, I don't know what I would have done. They seemed to be the only people capable of dealing with me." She didn't mention Jacob. He was too sacred to her to even bring into this conversation. "You haven't even tried to deal with me at all. You didn't care enough for me to get better. You had to almost kill yourself to wake up and see what you were doing."

Nessie found the edge of the bed again and melted her body down onto it unable to stand any longer. The one facet of information she conveniently left out was that Jacob had finally made her feel wanted and deserving of love. The one thing in this world that meant anything had been ripped from her unfairly, and she had no idea how to get him back without causing an unpleasant outcome.

"That's fair. I deserve that, but it's still not true. There came a point where I couldn't control it anymore...Still don't know if I can, but I can only go one day at a time."

"How will I ever know that I mean anything to you? It's been so long, Mom. So much time has passed since we've talked at all. You missed so much of _me_ , and I can't tell how much it hurts that the only memories I have of you aren't really memories at all. You're there but just resting somewhere in my subconsciousness as if an apparition. When I remember back, I can't tell if you were ever there or not." She wrung her hands on her flowing, cotton skirt. "If I can't feel you in my life, if I can't sense you ever being there, how do I know that I meant anything to you? How can you prove to me the things I am saying aren't true. Answer me that, please, because I really would like to fucking know."

Bella didn't seem to flinch at the curse word that flew out of her daughter's mouth, much less the brutal honesty. She slowly made her way over to the deflated little girl in front of her. Bella fell down by Nessie's legs, resting her knees on the floor. Placing her hands on Nessie's knees, she looked up at her daughter whose head still stayed buried in her hands.

"Look at me, Renesmee...Please."

Her face tilted towards her mother's. Her cheeks were wet and her skin was flushed pink.

Bella gripped Nessie's knees and began, "You are the only reason I live, do you understand me? If it weren't for you, my life would be nothing. I sure as hell haven't shown it at all, but don't think my love for your ever went away." Bella paused, listening to Nessie's soft crying. "Don't you ever think you caused this. My complacency caused this. My own stupidity caused this. But don't you for one minute ever blame yourself."

Nessie tried to talk but couldn't. Her throat had become tightened from her trying to control herself. She had hoped to keep from sobbing, but she could feel herself on the verge of breaking.

"You are the only reason I have been thirty-two days sober, do you know that? The only thing that got me through the throwing up, the endless shaking, and the pain was you. When my skin felt like it would rip off my body, and I wanted just one sip of something to make it go away, I didn't do it. I didn't give in because of you. It pains me to know that I have disappointed the only person who means everything to me, and I'll have to live with my regret for the rest of my life." Bella paused, and Nessie slid her hands on top of her mother's.

"I don't know what to say," Nessie whispered.

"You don't have to say anything. I just need you to know that I'm sober because of you. You are the reason I am alive right now. I just hope I can start over and try to make you love me again." Nessie instinctively brought her mother into her arms. Bella's head rested in Nessie's lap, and she began softly stroking her mother's hair.

"I have never stopped loving you mom. I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"I may have questioned my love for everyone else in my life but never my love for you. I have never for one minute stopped loving you."

It was then that the words stopped and the tears were unleashed. Mother and daughter held on to one another and let the years of hurt and anger dissipate in their embrace.

Nessie didn't know how long the two of them stayed the way they did. The relieving of the emotional tension slowly went away into a comfortable silence. Bella didn't move from the floor, and Nessie didn't want to let go of her mother. It wasn't long before their private reconciliation was interrupted.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," a smooth voice called out when he entered the room.

Nessie's body suddenly tensed up again; she didn't even have to look up to know who had entered. The tranquility she had felt with her mom shattered with the arrival of her father. Bella quickly made her way off the floor and rushed about, trying to find some tissues as soon as Edward walked in.

"We were just having a long, overdue conversation," Bella said, wiping her eyes. She thoughtfully passed one to her daughter.

"Oh?" was Edward's response.

It didn't take long for her body to begin feeling the way it had been since she left Jacob. The horrible nausea came back full force. Her father's presence seemed to do this to her.

"Excuse me," Nessie said as she ran into the bathroom and almost didn't have time to shut the door before she found her head stuck in the toilet.

She vomited what little food she had eaten that day. She hurriedly found a towel and began cleaning up, which wouldn't disguise what she had done. No amount of cleaning would keep her from being embarrassed at throwing up with her parents in the next room. Once she finished scrubbing, Nessie couldn't help but look in the mirror at herself. There stood someone she didn't recognize with hollow eyes and a lifeless spirit. Her eyes averted themselves from her own reflection; the image she saw disturbed her too much to invoke further study. Nessie knew she looked like shit, and she didn't need to be reminded of it. She shook off her self-deprecating thoughts and turned on the faucet. The cold water felt good as it splashed on her face. Then she heard the knocking she was expecting.

"Renesmee? Are you okay?" she heard her mother ask.

"Yeah. I'll be right out," she called out as cheerfully as she could, trying to mask her true feelings. Nessie didn't want to leave the safeness of the bathroom. She knew she'd have to come out sooner or later, but she stalled for as long as she could.

She could hear the murmurs of the discussion her mother and father were having. Curious if the conversation were about her, she pressed her ear to the door.

"Edward, she looks awful. I almost didn't recognize her when she came in the room. I thought I was the one who needed help. You told me she was fine. You said she didn't visit me because she was just angry. There's more going on than you're telling me," she heard her mom whisper angrily.

"She's fine. Our Nessie is just having trouble to adjusting to life outside of Forks. This whole situation is hard on her. Believe me, she's going to be fine once we get home," Nessie heard her father say, trying to reassure Bella. It sounded more like him trying to convince himself. Nessie knew for a fact that heading back to Forks would only make things worse and better all at the same time.

Jacob was there, and that thought comforted her. However, when she would see him, she'd have to pretend they never existed. That was the worst part of all.

"No, Edward. You tell me now what is going on because I don't believe you for a moment she is having trouble adjusting to life outside of Forks. The child's done more world traveling than most, for God's sake. I deserve to know. I am her mother," Bella spat back, raising her voice a bit.

"Okay, Bella. I didn't want to tell you until later."

"Tell me what?"

"She's just heartbroken. She and Jacob broke up. I had hoped she'd have at least quit moping by now, but it doesn't seem to be the case."

"Why couldn't you tell me something like that? You have no idea what it's like to be a girl and go through something like that. You should have told me," Bella said, raising her voice again.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to get better. I figured if I could handle this problem, it would be one less worry for you."

"Well, it looks like you've done one bang-up job of helping her through it. She looks horrible. I think you need to let me talk to her. I get so angry when you try to keep me out of the loop to protect me. If I am to come home, you have to stop doing that. It's annoying."

Nessie backed away when she heard an outside knock on the door. Her parents conversation ceased the moment they heard someone at the door.

"Mrs. Cullen, we need you to come sign a few things before you leave." The voice at the door said.

"Don't think we are finished discussing this, Edward." Then Nessie heard her mother leave, which meant that it would be just her and her father.

Nessie cracked the door almost afraid to face her father. Ever since the phone debacle, she had avoided him at all costs. He made himself quite clear that day about how she needed to stay away from Jacob. Nessie took a deep breath, knowing she'd have to come out sooner or later. There wasn't anywhere else to go, and she prepared herself to be face-to-face with him.

"Nessie. Are you okay?" her father asked as she exited her room of solace. She didn't know if her was truly concerned for her health or not. The chills came back but luckily the feeling of vomiting had gone away.

"I think so," she responded diverting her eyes. "Where's Mom?"

"Doing a few last minute things before we can leave...I see you got all your things from your room to the help like I asked you to. The driver has loaded them up. We should be leaving for the airport soon," he mentioned.

"Um, is that all? Can I go now? I can go wait with Mom." Nessie just needed to get away from him. Her chest began to feel tight.

"That's fine. Just one last thing before you see your mother...You do remember our conversation from the other day, don't you? I need you to understand the implications of letting your mom in on the details of what's going on in your life right now. It does her no good in her recovery to be burdened with..."

 _The truth?_ Nessie thought. _Should we lie and keep more things from her, even though she asked you not to?_

"Do we have an understanding?" She was backed into a corner and had no way out. He made it perfectly clear in their one-sided conversation that there would be no more contact with Jacob. He would give no second-chances.

" _Did you use Alice's phone to call him? Just answer me." He had stormed into her room that evening while she was trying to catch up on some school work. She had no idea how he even found out about the phone call. God forbid he figured out what she did during that conversation._

" _How did you know?" she asked sheepishly._

" _It doesn't matter how I found out."_

" _Yes, it does. Did Alice rat me out or something? I need to know if I can trust anybody around here." She thought for sure that Alice would at least help her out in this matter._

 _Her father laughed a little at her comment._

" _No, she mistakenly let me know you had called your ex. She found the number and called it being the curious little know-it-all she is. She happened to mention that she was going to talk to you about calling the boys that break your heart. She said something about making a clean break and making him call you first...I don't know what else she said, but the fact of the matter is you called him, knowing how I felt about him and your...your relationship."_

" _It was just one phone call, Dad. That's all. Nothing will come from it. I told him so," which was a half lie. She never said she would call him again, but she never said she wouldn't._

" _Even if it were just a phone call, it goes against my wishes. You were to leave him be and have no contact. His future at U of F is at stake. You understand that I meant what I said, don't you?"_

" _You've made it crystal clear."_

" _I also told Jacob to leave you alone. He shouldn't bother you..." Nessie cut him off._

" _You spoke to him? What did you say to him? You have no right..."_

" _I have every right to tell him to stay away from my daughter. It is my job to make sure you are making the right choices."_

" _I will do what you want me to. I will go through with this horrible separation, but don't you dare talk to him or threaten him in any way. This is about me. Deal with me, not him. Yell at me, punish me, do whatever you wish, but leave him alone. You've already done enough."_

 _She could tell her father didn't quite know what to say in response to her outburst. Nessie turned her back to him. She didn't want him to see her cry._

" _I have done the right thing. I want you to see that. The things I do may seem harsh, but I have my reasons."_

 _Nessie wanted to respond to his delusional statement but knew it would be futile. He was beyond stubborn and swaying him once his mind was made up would be more than impossible. His angry demeanor shifted, and he acted as if the rift between them didn't exist._

" _How's your school work coming? Are you making progress?"_

" _It's fine," she answered bitterly._

" _Do you need any assistance with anything?"_

" _Like I would ask you for help," was what she thought of saying, but instead she whispered, "No."_

" _Very well then. I will leave you alone." And he was gone as quickly as he came._

"Nessie, are you listening to me?" her father snapped.

Her head jerked up and looked at him briefly to let him know she was listening.

"Do we have an understanding?" he demanded.

"Yes," she said with her quivering voice. "Now, can I go?"

When she saw him nod his head in approval, she took off running. Nessie did the only thing her body understood at the moment—the only thing that made her feel somewhat alive. Her path made its way down the hall where she passed her mom at the nurse's station, not even caring what looks she received as she did.

She ran down the stairwell and then propelled herself through the large, art deco doors that opened to the outside. The doors swung open as she pushed with all her might. Her weakening body could still move. The adrenaline pumped through her, sending her sprinting as fast as she could away from it all. She knew she would have to come back, but for now she would run.

~o~O~o~

Jacob sat alone in his room staring out the window at the snow that had fallen overnight. He touched the cold glass and tried to breathe this time without it catching. It didn't work.

Through blurry eyes, he stared at the tiny package clutched in his hands that he had wrapped late last night. Why he even bothered, he couldn't say. Edward could take Nessie away from him, but he couldn't take away his thoughts and longings for her.

The red bow mocked him—a Christmas gift for her that he would never be able to give.


	31. Already Gone

**"Remember all the things we wanted.  
Now all our memories, they're haunted.  
We were always meant to say goodbye.**

 **Even with our fists held high,  
It never would've worked out right.  
We were never meant for do or die.**

 **I didn't want us to burn out.  
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop."**

 _ **Already Gone**_ **by Kelly Clarkson**

Her lungs felt like they were going to explode as she tried to sprint down the straight-away after making her way around the last curve. She watched as the other distance runners finished with ease across the finish line ahead of her. She felt a pang of jealousy at the ease in which they ran. Practice had been especially grueling this week-the coaches always made conditioning extra hard right after a long break. Those work outs separated the wheat from the chaff; they would know soon enough who worked hard and who sat on their ass. Nessie fell into the latter category. She had too much going on lately to even focus on running, and she just didn't feel like it. Who could run when their body felt tired and sick all the time?

Not running over the winter break had done a number on her endurance. Once able to finish first without blinking an eye, Nessie now sucked wind and crossed the finish line barely moving. Her legs were no longer under her control. Trying to catch her breath, she noticed the angry glare she got from her coach. He stared at his stopwatch while shaking his head.

"Cullen. What the hell was that crap? You haven't made your times today or any time this week, for that matter. You've got a long way to go if you think you're going to compete next month. I can tell you did _shit_ while you were on your vacation," he yelled. Coach Grissom didn't like slackers, and he hated when his runners weren't able to give him the performance he desired. His track team won championships, and that didn't happen with less-than-stellar athletes. Practice makes perfect winners.

"I know, Coach. I plan on working extra hard to get back in shape. I'll be ready for the indoor opener," she promised, half-way believing what she said.

She did plan on working hard; it was the only way to take her mind off of what had happened over the past couple of months. She and her family had made their way back home from Lake Tahoe quietly and with little fanfare. They all celebrated Christmas and New Year's together without making a big deal of things, just like her mother requested. Her aunts had left her alone to let her sulk, although she couldn't get away from the angry stare of Rose. She was wondering when Rose would come barging into her room, yelling at her to snap out of it. No one had asked what was really wrong, but she knew that her aunts weren't stupid. They gave her the privacy she needed, which relieved her. She thought she did a good job of pretending all was well to keep everyone off her back, but she didn't think Rose was convinced.

Nessie didn't call anyone to announce her arrival back to Forks because she couldn't think of anyone - other than Jacob or Claire - who would care. Claire had stopped calling all together. It saddened Nessie to no end to push away the only true girl friend she had ever had, but she saw no other option with her. Claire never beat around the bush and always spoke the truth. Nessie couldn't be reminded of how spineless she had acted in breaking up with Jacob. But deep down, she knew about things that they didn't. Things that could mess up Jacob's life, and for Nessie, that was enough to justify her behavior.

She planned on throwing herself into her schoolwork this semester to keep her mind off the drama in her life. In order to make it through her social reclusiveness, she would also spend her time getting back into shape. Running and studying seemed like a good way to make it through the next few years. She was reminded of Tyler and what he said to her the night he gave her a gash in her head. In her own way, she had become a social pariah. She had no idea how something he had said in anger could actually come true. Given the choices, becoming an outcast didn't seem like such a bad option. How could she even act normally? She didn't know how.

"You have another 1,500 meters to run, Cullen, since you didn't make your time. I need you to focus. Take five, and be ready to churn out a decent performance today," Coach Grissom ordered. She nodded her head, understanding she would be the only long-distance runner having to run extra today. There would be no doubt that the others would notice this, too, and have a field day with her.

Nessie walked slowly to the far side of the track, trying to recover for her last run. The others had already begun their cool down, and she would have to run hers alone...again. Making it past the long-jump pit, she watched the jumpers practice their approach to the board. The way their bodies could fly through the air always impressed her, and how they managed not to injure themselves every time they landed in the sand was beyond her.

"The new guy is delicious. I wonder where he's from," cooed one of the girls.

"He's in my history class. I get to sit right behind him...Be jealous." The other one smiled, lightly bumping the first girl with her hip.

Intrigued by their conversation, she had to see what the female jumpers had their sights set on, besides their run throughs. The girls were chatting quietly, but Nessie could hear them over their giggles as they looked out onto the practice field next to the track.

The two girls kept their flirty banter going back and forth as Nessie searched for what they were gawking at. It didn't take long for her to scan the football fields to see that the team had made its appearance. How could she forget that football was in off-season?

The guys were all wearing the same gray shirts and shorts, but one of them didn't blend in well with the others; Jacob never did. She noticed his tall frame bolting down the field, beating the others who ran with him. Her legs buckled a bit, but she caught herself before she fell face first on the track. Concentrating on her running would be difficult with him one field over every day.

It amused her that all this time Jacob had been on campus, working quietly in the maintenance department, blending into the shadows. The girls would notice him, but they never wanted to date the yard boy. Only when he became something of a big-shot did others begin to really pay attention to him. It ticked her off that all of the sudden _her_ Jacob was the shiny, new toy at school. Every girl would be wanting to know who the "new guy" was, even though he had been here all along. She glanced over to where they ran, looking for him and trying not think about how he really wasn't _hers_ anymore.

"Two minutes, Cullen!" she heard someone yell. It might have been Coach Grissom, but she had no clue at this point. All she could focus on was the dark-skinned man one field over. The moment she dreaded had come.

They were going to start seeing each other, and she had to pretend he didn't mean anything to her.

As she made her way to the 1,500 meter starting line, she watched him with his teammates. Observing him in his element, he began throwing the ball while a few receivers ran their patterns. He was beautiful. He was a natural, and the ease in which he moved took her breath away. Placing her hands on her hips, she struggled to get her already-labored breathing under control. This would be the hardest run she would ever have to do. How could she focus on making her time when Jacob was right over there?

Her eyes followed his frame as he continued to run his drills. She lost herself in thought when she was jolted back to reality by a loud whistle that she knew was for her. Nessie began running, trying to put one foot in front of the other. She forced her mind to focus on the basics of her running technique. Mentally, she went through her checklist, trying anything to keep herself from acknowledging Jacob's presence.

She made the first 300 meters without incident. Her coach yelled her split time, and for once, she was right on track. Only three more laps to go before she could leave and go hide in her hole. She felt over-exposed out here running in front of the world. Nessie knew that everyone could see how much pain she was in. She wanted nothing more than to cover herself up under her blankets in her room and sleep.

As she rounded the curve, she tried not looking over to where he was. She tried to think of other things. She really did try, but it didn't work. Nessie's eyes instinctively looked his way and immediately found him.

And he was looking at her.

Knowing he was watching her run made her lose all concentration, and she felt her weak ankle give way. The old injury had never fully healed, and it didn't take much for it to buckle underneath her. This time, she felt a pain shoot up her leg right before she tumbled to the ground. She didn't look around, knowing everyone saw her fall. Embarrassed didn't cover how she felt right now. She imagined herself in her room, hidden from the rest of the world.

"Cullen, you okay?" she heard her coach call out. A few of the other teammates made their way to her, all asking the same question.

"I...I...I think I twisted my ankle again," she cried, wincing in pain.

She couldn't help but notice the disappointment in Coach Grissom's face. Yet another person she disappointed. Her life just seemed to be spiraling downward, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"All right. Let's get you to Doc."

~o~O~o~

Nessie sat in the training room icing her ankle, hoping this feeling of uselessness would disappear. The pain of her twisted ankle paled in comparison to the hole gaping in the middle of her body. Everyone close to her thought she had gone a little crazy, and she had. Nessie thought she hid it well, but all who were around her could sense her deepening depression and had no idea how to help.

She leaned her head against the wall behind her and closed her eyes. In a couple of minutes, the bitter, cold feeling from the ice would be completely gone when the numbness finally set in. She wished she could pack her whole body in ice to make the hurt inside go away. For this sort brokenness, there wasn't a remedy. Having him was the only way to recover, and it was impossible. She lost herself in her thoughts in the quiet room, not ready for what was to come.

"Practice over?" she heard Doc ask someone who had entered the training room.

"Yeah, I've come for ice for my shoulder," a familiar voice answered. It made her body tense up and then caused the hole in her gut to spread outward throughout her whole body. She reluctantly opened her eyes and saw her Jacob on the table right across from her. A student trainer began placing a couple of huge ice packs on his throwing shoulder, securing them on with an ace bandage. His eyes locked on hers, and she couldn't turn away. He didn't say a word to her, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. She could tell he was angry.

"Coach Rasmussen told me it was my job to keep you healthy, so I'm going to take that job very seriously, Jake." The head trainer, affectionately called Doc, spoke to Jacob as he came from his office to supervise the job the young trainer was doing.

"Thanks," Jacob responded, his eyes never leaving her gaze. She couldn't tear herself away from him. Nessie didn't know how she would be able to take seeing him everyday like this. He was so close to her but too far away to touch. Seeing him affected her more than she thought it would. It had been almost two months since they had spoken, and it had been longer since she had touched him. How she wanted to feel him underneath her fingers now and let him know how much she missed him. Her hands burned just thinking of his fiery skin underneath them. She grazed her eyes over his shirtless body, watching the lucky ace bandaged get wrapped around his sizable muscles.

Once his bandage was secure, his eyes left hers, and he turned to go.

"Twenty minutes, Jake. No more, no less. Bring back those bandages," Doc called out.

"Sure thing, Doc." And Jacob left the training room as quietly as he entered. Nessie's gaze watched his perfectly sculpted back and ass leave. No wonder the girls on campus were starting to gawk at him. She couldn't be within a few feet of him without her body responding to him; her soaked panties were evidence of that. He was an Adonis, the perfect specimen of a man, and she had completely fucked up any future with him.

Nessie wrapped her arms around her middle to keep herself from ripping in two. The past few months had done nothing to make the emptiness in her disappear. Whoever said time heals all wounds had never had to live with the loss of Jacob Black.

~o~O~o~

Jacob went back to the locker room before heading home. He hated that Nessie's ankle was still hurting her, and he couldn't do anything to help her. Watching her fall had been difficult for him because he wanted to run to her immediately. The only problem: he wasn't a part of her life anymore. Her father had made that clear, and until she herself could tell him what had happened, then he had no choice but to honor her father's wishes.

He had noticed her resting with her eyes closed when he strolled in the training room. It was a pleasant surprise for him. He hadn't been that close to her since their night at the hotel, and it took all his waning self-control to not close the distance between them and take her in his arms. Fucking her on the table had crossed his mind, but he would have to keep his dirty thoughts to himself. Nessie looked beautiful, but she seemed different. A sadness seemed to have overtaken her.

"Ice Princess is in there with her short-shorts on again. We can go talk to Doc and get a glimpse of her. Too bad she put on a shirt, 'cause her sports bra shows off her tits." Jacob heard a low, raspy voice call out from behind him.

"Sure. Let's go. Man, one night with me, and they wouldn't be calling her that anymore," another voice boasted. It was two of his teammates, and he knew which Ice Princess they spoke of. He knew Nessie hated the perceptions people had of her. He knew they weren't real; she just didn't let people in very easily. It took even more self control not to punch the two assholes who spoke about her like a sexual object.

Only a few knew about his and Nessie's former relationship. Tyler didn't say much to him anyway, and he never brought up Nessie in front of the guys because it reflected badly on him. Tyler not only had to fight for his starting position with Jake, but Jacob had taken his girl, too. Guys didn't like to broadcast news like that to one another.

Jacob let the ice numb his shoulder as he sat by himself in the locker room. He took in deep breaths to center himself and keep him from falling apart. Soon, he emerged from the locker room, ready to give back the bandages, but he was just in time to see Nessie heading out the door of the stadium. He took a chance and followed her. He just needed to talk to her, even for just a moment to hear her voice.

"So, this is how it's going to be?" he called out to her, watching her freeze in her tracks, but she didn't turn around. "We're going to see each other here and not even acknowledge one another? Pretend we didn't exist? Is that what you want?" He couldn't help the anger his voice held.

It took her a moment to compose herself. The air was suddenly gone from around her, and she found it very difficult to stay upright. Her body turned, knowing she would have to see him and talk to him, hoping it wouldn't break her fragile state too much.

"I don't know what else to do, Jacob. I don't know how else to act," she uttered, keeping her distance from him. _God, did she have to say my name?_ he thought. The way she said it was heaven, and his body ached to hold her. He could hear in his memory the way she would call it out during their love-making, causing him to let out a small moan that he hoped she didn't hear. He could see she was hurting, but she wouldn't tell him why. If only she would let him help her. "I can't talk anymore. I hope you understand." Talking to him, looking at him, being close to him became too painful.

He stood motionless, watching her retreating figure, realizing the need for her wouldn't soon go away.

He threw his bag over his shoulder and headed to his car to quietly drive home.

-~o~O~o~

Nessie woke to her phone buzzing and the light shining throughout the room. Her blurry eyes glanced over at the clock which read 2:13. No one really called anymore, and she had started to get used to that fact. So seeing that it was Jessica on the phone surprised her.

"Hello?"

"Nessie? Oh, my God, I'm so glad you answered!" Jessica's nasally voice screamed on the other end of the line. "How are you? I haven't seen you much lately."

"Um, I'm okay. You really want to know how I'm doing?" Nessie asked, puzzled at the sudden interest in her well being.

"Of course I do. Lauren and I were talking yesterday about how you've been hiding, and we thought we'd see if you'd come with us to the Pike party tonight?"

Nessie couldn't believe that she was being invited to a party by someone that she really didn't like and who probably slept with Tyler while she was still going out with him.

"I...I don't think so..." Nessie answered. "I'm not ready to be around a big group of people." She wasn't sure if she'd want to spend her Saturday night with those two, but then the thought of doing something other than watch movies by herself did have its appeal.

"I knew you would say that, and I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm coming to get you at eight o'clock whether you want me to or not. The sorority sisters have to be there tonight. It's my job to get you there," Jessica blabbed.

"Oh. I see." She wasn't really wanted at the party but required to go. Jessica had been given the duty of making sure the delinquent Delta Delta sister would be there.

"Please be ready. I don't need to get in trouble for not bringing you," she pleaded.

"Okay. I'll be ready," Nessie said reluctantly.

"Thanks, Nessie. Really. I know I'm kind of making you come, but you should know that I personally want you there, too. I know you've been down lately, and I want you to be happy again."

Nessie didn't quite know how to react to what Jessica had just said to her, but sensing that her friend really did care about her, even just a little bit, felt nice.

"I'll see you tonight, Jess...Thanks." Nessie hung up the phone and laid back down, wondering how she would find the energy to get ready.

~o~O~o~

Nessie walked out onto the back deck where the Pike punch was. Leaving Jessica and Lauren to dance, she went outside to get fresh air and a drink. Her nerves were shot, and she felt overwhelmed at being around all these people. She needed something to take the edge off and to keep her from thinking of him. It wouldn't be the wisest decision she'd ever made, but it was all that she could do to keep from falling apart. She kicked herself for agreeing to come because she would rather be home in her room where she didn't have to see or talk to anyone.

In her own little world, she could shield herself from the pain of losing Jacob, but when she stepped outside of her bubble, she was reminded of him at every turn. Tonight was no exception.

Some guy with a smile and a baseball cap covering his eyes handed her a cup of the red, punch-looking drink. That was the magic of it—it tasted like Kool-Aid and had enough alcohol in it to get one drunk quickly.

"Hey, if you want to dance later, I'm available," he said, trying to come on to her.

"No, thanks," was all she said, turning away from him. She took the cup and didn't notice the guy looking her up and down in her blue-jean mini skirt.

"If you change your mind, you know where I am," he added. Nessie ignored him and turned to the small fire that burned on the back lawn.

Fire. It was like a kick in the gut.

She couldn't help but think about her time with Jacob on First Beach where a fire always burned. She took a big drink and stared at the flames from the deck. Nessie no longer cried anymore; she had perfected internal suffering. At this moment, she was crumbling, but no one could tell, and she took another drink, hoping its magic would soon take effect.

Her eyes studied the fire more, and she thought she saw Jacob's face through the flames. Nessie figured she must be hallucinating because she saw him most days when he wasn't really there anyway. By shutting her eyes, she hoped to erase the mirage she knew his image to be, but when she opened them again, his face didn't go away.

Jacob was here.

He didn't catch her looking, and she hoped he wouldn't. Her mind told her to turn and leave, but her feet stayed glued to the deck, watching him. She stared at him as he talked to a random, pretty girl who sat next to him. Nessie was unprepared for her reaction to him being next to someone of the opposite sex. In her horror, she witnessed that girl reach out and touch Jacob on his arm, letting her advancing fingers linger a little too long. Nessie brought the cup of liquid courage to her lips and finished it in just a few gulps.

Then she watched Jacob smile at the girl, immediately feeling her body involuntarily hunch over, unable to stand. The thought of him smiling _her_ smile at someone else made her react in a way she wasn't prepared for. The touching bothered her, but she couldn't take knowing his beautiful smile would be for someone else. Nessie tried to get herself together to leave before he saw her, and she hobbled her way back inside. She hopped up the stairs of the frat house as fast as her injured ankle would allow.

Jacob would recognize that head of hair anywhere. No one else shared her unique color, and no one else had that perfect rear-end he noticed retreating inside. By her quick departure, she must have seen him talking to this chick.

Jacob politely excused himself from Ms. Octopus Hands, who sat beside him. Jacob didn't care about her; she had approached him, after all. The attention he had been getting lately from the co-eds was getting old and hard to deal with. He didn't want anyone else. No other girl in the world would ever compare to his Nessie.

Even though she had left him and had written a letter to tell him they could no longer see one another, he still loved her. He wished like hell he could move on, but there was no getting her out of his system.

Jacob took the deck steps in one jump and ran to the door. He made his way into the back room into a crowd of partiers. He scanned the room, not seeing her.

"Did you see Nessie Cullen come in?" he asked a guy who pointed to the stairs.

"She ran that way," the random guy he asked answered dryly and turned to get back to flirting with the girl next to him.

Jacob said thanks and took the steps two at a time to find her. For some reason, he needed her to know that he didn't want that girl, although he didn't have to justify anything to her. He stopped at the top of the stairwell and immediately saw her standing with her back to him, facing the window. Her hands were covering her face; her shoulders hunched forward. She wasn't sobbing, but he knew she was having trouble keeping it together. He walked slowly towards her, making the floor creak as he did. Her hands left her face, and she turned slightly, realizing her private moment was being watched.

"I don't even know her. She came and talked to me," he confessed, somehow trying to make her feel better.

She didn't expect to hear his voice; she thought he hadn't seen her. Nessie had to compose herself before she spoke. After a deep breath and a quick wipe of her cheeks, she spoke. "You can talk to whomever you want. I just didn't expect to react the way I did. I'm sorry." She didn't look his way; she kept her back to him.

"I don't want to talk to anyone else," Jacob said and took another step towards her. He debated in his mind what he should do next. Should he stay and try to comfort her, or should he walk away? He didn't have to debate for long because he couldn't fight the force that pulled him to her. The closer he got, the closer to her he needed to be.

His last step found him directly behind her, and he took his arms and slowly wrapped them around her. Nessie, who had worked hard at feeling numb for the past two months, found her body waking up in the warmth of his embrace. She let out a deep, quiet sob, and her legs became weak beneath her. His arms held her firmly in place. She rested her head back on his chest, feeling complete for the first time in a long time.

"I don't know why it has to be this way, Ness," he said, never understanding why she couldn't tell him the reasons for their separation.

"It just does." She sighed.

"I don't get why your father's doing this to you. Why would he make you this miserable?" he asked. Her father had more control over her than Jacob cared to mention.

"I'm not worried about me being miserable. I don't care about what happens to me," she said.

"Then what? What are you doing this for? Why do you have to stay away from me?" he demanded.

"I can't tell you. It would be bad for you if I did. I can't have him mess with you. Don't you see?" She turned to face him, looking in his eyes. Nessie wanted Jacob to see how adamant she was about her decision. She couldn't risk her father taking Jacob's future away from him. He had suffered so much already.

"I don't care what happens to me," he told her.

"But I do. Just accept this, Jacob. I'm trying to."

"I don't want to. I don't want it to be like this," he groaned.

"Me either. I don't know what else-" He kissed her lips because he couldn't take it any longer. The fight was never going to end. He didn't understand her argument, and he never would unless she could quit being so cryptic about the situation. Kissing her would be the best way to keep her from arguing with him. He was so tired of her not answering his questions.

Surprised by his sudden move, it took her a moment to realize what he was doing. It had been so long since she had kissed him, and she finally relaxed a little and let her mouth receive his. Her lips parted, and his tongue found hers. The familiar taste of his mouth brought back comfort and desire. She felt so at home with him, but she couldn't let him continue.

She quit kissing him and put her hands on his cheeks. "Jacob, we can't-"

"Fuck the consequences of what we're doing right now. We can argue about it after. I just can't sit here and be this close to you and not touch you. I fucking miss you, Ness. The way you left-"

Nessie kissed him hard, not letting him finish his sentence. She couldn't hear him talk about the way she broke up with him. That image was the single most haunting memory she possessed. She would never forgive herself for how she made love to him and then left. In the midst of the kiss, Nessie decided that she would live in this moment and not worry about the aftermath it would bring. She wouldn't worry about the gaping hole that would surely be bigger after being with him.

Jacob opened the door of the first room he found and moved the two of them into it. It was a small bathroom, but the size of the room didn't matter. They just needed to be with one another. He shut the door behind them, locking it blindly. She backed herself onto the countertop, opening her legs to him, and he met her gladly. Jacob broke the kiss for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked in between breaths. He needed her in the worst way.

"Yes," she whispered. With her agreement, he urgently took her lips with his, attacking her mouth with a fierce intensity. The taste of her sent his senses reeling, only making him want more. Her hands moved down his chest and went underneath the material of his shirt. He sucked in air at the feeling of her fingertips on his stomach. It didn't take long for her to move his shirt upwards, wanting to have her mouth on his skin. He finished helping her take off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He had forgotten how good her soft touches made him feel.

Nessie's legs wrapped around him tightly, and her fingers continued to explore his body. His hand lowered to the small of her back, pushing her right into his shaft. She could feel him through his jeans and wanted so badly for him to be inside her. She knew it would happen soon enough and just enjoyed having him finally touching her again.

She nipped his lips, grazing her teeth on his mouth. She wanted to explore his body with her lips, but she didn't want her mouth to leave his. When she couldn't stand it any longer, she found her tongue licking its way down his neck, kissing and sucking as she went down his body. Her mouth tasted his flesh, savoring the potent essence of his skin. As she devoured his collarbone and chest, he moaned softly, encouraging her to keep going.

The feeling of her tongue on his chest drove him crazy. His dick was already hard as a rock, and what she did to him would only make him harder. He had to be in her soon, or he worried he'd explode. He wanted her naked, and he wanted her naked yesterday. Soon, his greedy hands gathered the bottom of her sweater, pulling it up over her head. It found its way next to his shirt on the floor. Jacob paused for just a moment, taking in her beauty. It felt like it had been so long ago since he was able to touch her, and now she was here. And she still wanted him.

He cupped her breast over her lacy bra and closed his eyes, laying his forehead on top of her head, as if he were memorizing the way her soft, full flesh felt in his hands. He took his time caressing her, soaking in the way she felt. Jacob grabbed needily, moving from one breast to the other. Nessie breathed the sigh that turned him on more than anything. When he heard that sweet noise, he knew she loved what he did to her body. Running his hands on her back, he was finally able to unclasp her bra. He watched as it fell off her and had to pause when her ample breasts fell free. She leaned back against the countertop, pushing her chest upwards towards him.

Jacob stared in awe as he always did at Nessie's body. His lips immediately found one of her nipples; he tasted her and rubbed his tongue over it as it became hard underneath his probing. His hand cupped her other breast where he slowly and methodically squeezed it, getting more turned on with every caress.

Jacob was impatient; he wanted the rest of her clothes off, so he lowered himself to his knees, placing his forehead on her abdomen just below her breasts. He paused, trying to convince himself that this was happening, and he worried that it wouldn't happen again. He knew he had to relish every sight, smell, and touch he shared with her tonight. He inhaled as he placed his nose to her stomach. Nessie just closed her eyes, reveling in the way he felt.

He kissed her abdomen and unbuttoned her jean skirt, pulling it down enough to expose the sacred skin underneath her clothes. Kissing her navel and her stomach only made him hungrier for more of her. He had been driven to the brink of despair when she left, but he felt like he was being redeemed right here in this small room.

His fingers unbuttoned her skirt, and she slid down from the countertop to let him finish undressing her. Her skirt slid easily down her legs, and he just about came undone at the sight of Nessie wearing only her pink panties. Somewhere along the way, she had kicked off her shoes. His lips kissed the waistband of her lace, and he continued his kisses across her stomach. As he did, he noticed a difference in the feel of her skin. His hands held her hips, and his thumb ran across her flesh, feeling a smooth scar. He knew her body like the back of his hand, and this was something new. Needing to see what his hands had found, he looked to the spot where his thumb had been. His eyes widened at his discovery. Nessie had gotten a tattoo.

And it was the number eighteen...His number.

He looked up at her and saw her watching him as he discovered her secret. "I got it in Tahoe before I called you that night."

He still had no words.

"I wanted, no _needed,_ to remember you and that you were real. I was, and am, so lost without you. I sometimes wonder if I imagined you."

He squeezed his eyes shut and kissed her on the black permanently inked into her body. "Can you feel that? Can you feel my lips on you?" he whispered.

"Yes," she said, fighting back tears.

He began to trail his kisses up her stomach while ghosting his hands along the curve of her hips. "Can you feel this?" he enticed with his sultry voice. He had a point to make.

"Mmm-hmm." She sighed, tilting her head to the side and closing her eyes.

Jacob then grabbed her breast and took her nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue over it gently, then looked up at her. "How about that? Can you feel that?"

All Nessie could do was nod as she looked in his deep, brown eyes. He continued along her body, and his lips lingered at each spot, making sure she could feel each and every touch and tender kiss. The hand that roamed around her hip began its descent downward. His fingers brushed across her soft panties, and he rubbed between her trembling legs. She had to place her hands behind her on the countertop to hold herself up and to keep from falling. His touch melted the numbness in her body, and his hand was awakening a part of her that she thought had died when she had to leave him.

He slowly raised himself up her body as he kissed her all over. He returned his lips to her ear to whisper the things he needed her to hear.

"Ness," his hand then moved beneath the fabric and felt how wet she was for him; he began rubbing her folds, "You can feel me, can't you?" Jacob's hand lowered to her entrance and glided back and forth over her.

She whimpered a confirmation that was barely audible.

When he placed his finger inside her, he heard her gasp. "I'm real, Ness." He began moving his finger in and out, which began the back and forth movement of her hips. His lips whispered his message again. It sent shivers throughout her body every time he spoke.

"We were real." His thumb brushed her clit, and it caused her to thrust her hips without thinking. "We made love, we fucked, and it was real. Every touch we shared was real. Don't you _ever_ think that we weren't." He inserted another finger and increased his rhythm.

All she could do was moan his name. She wanted him now, and his fingers wouldn't be enough this time. The way he could make her feel with his hands blew her mind and broke the ice that had been building in her body since she'd pushed him away.

She took her hand and began rubbing him over the large bulge his denim.

"Please, Jacob," she begged, still savoring the feeling of his fingers inside her.

She could see the waistband of his boxers peeking out the top of his jeans. She traced the V of his hips with her eyes and wanted what hid beneath his jeans. Her fingers fumbled with the button on his jeans. His free hand unexpectedly stopped her.

He couldn't believe his mind was all of a sudden overruling his cock right now, but something in him couldn't do this. Jacob needed to know that this wouldn't be their last time together. If they made love now and she left, he would be reliving the moment he read her letter. He couldn't deal with that pain again.

"Say you're coming back to me, Ness. End this stupid break up, now," he demanded suddenly, removing his hands from her pussy and blocking her from unbuttoning his jeans. His mouth rested on her neck, and his breaths there felt warm.

"What?" she asked, confused by his sudden change of heart.

"I can't go through with this if you aren't all mine. I want all of you, not just a secret fuck. I want to be able to have you whenever I want," he confessed. She took her hands and moved them back to his jeans where she found his hands refusing her again.

"Please, Jacob. I can't make that decision now. Don't do this, please." He held her hands in his, keeping her from touching him.

It was the hardest thing he'd ever have to do, but he had to deny her. Even though his body would rebel against his decision, he knew it was the right thing.

"Jacob Black, don't you dare start this, not now. Don't get all regretful right now, when we've already crossed the line. We can't go back tonight, 'cause what's done is done. Didn't you say 'fuck the consequences?' So don't act this way—not now." She looked at him with fiery eyes, but his were focused on the floor. He obviously felt torn as to what to do. He didn't want to make love to her and have her disappear again. He didn't know if he could go through that heartache again. Repairing his soul again would be too hard.

"I'm sorry, Ness. I am so sorry," he said quietly.

"Don't say you're sorry. Just be with me, please. I need you." Nessie rubbed her hands down from his chest to his abs and rested them on his jeans again, hoping to change his mind.

Instead of complying with her wishes, he stepped away from her, reached down to find his shirt, and handed Nessie hers, too. She watched him put his on as she stared in disbelief. Her hands clutched the cashmere, and she fought back her tears.

"Call me when you figure things out."

He bent down, kissed the top of her head, and headed out the door. When the door clicked behind him, Nessie slid down to the floor, not understanding what had just happened. She was mad at him, wanting to know how he could do such a thing to her. He had initiated this entire tryst and then ended it abruptly. She threw one of her shoes at the wall in anger.

She didn't know how long she sat on the floor of the bathroom, but Jacob's leaving made her realize a few things. She couldn't go on living like this. Something was going to have to change. Not knowing how to fix it, she decided she needed help.

Rifling through the pocket on her jean skirt, she found her phone and dialed the number of the one person who would know what to do.

"Hello," the voice answered quickly.

"I need your help. I can't go home. Can you get here soon?" Nessie requested.

"It's about damn time. I've been waiting for you to ask...I'm on my way," Aunt Rose replied without hesitation.

Nessie slowly dressed herself and hoped to God that Aunt Rose could help her get Jacob back.

~o~

Things are happening! The next chapter is huge. I'll leave it at that.

If if you've been wondering why I haven't updated my current J/N story "The Problem" in a while, I have lots of reasons. The main one is a lot of time goes into writing these chapters and lack of feedback is tough. I haven't been feeling it lately. I have gotten a little fire in my belly to crank out a chapter but it'll be a while. I'm headed on vacation soon, so writing won't be happening. I apologize to those who really care about the story. I really hope to work on it and be happy with it so you can get more chapters.


	32. Wish You Well

**"I, I want to smell your scent.  
I want to breathe the air I did before  
Before you left.**

 **I, I want to wish you well.  
The only reason my heart beats  
Is cause you showed it how."**

 _ **Wish You Well**_ **by Katie Herzig**

Nessie woke up a little disoriented, not sure where she was for a split second. It didn't take her long to realize she was in her room at her Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper's house. After calling Rose, she'd then called her uncle to come get her. She'd needed a place to stay because she couldn't go home to her father, and her home away from home was the next best thing. She had a small headache and realized it came from her stupid choice of drinking the mystery punch at the party. That last cup she chugged after Jacob left felt good at the time, but now, it was coming back to haunt her.

Nessie's eyes took a few minutes to focus properly, and soon, she was able to see a little better. Aunt Alice had made her room perfectly, just for Nessie, redecorating every few years to accommodate a growing girl's changing taste. Nessie could remember loving being here, and this morning, she found herself feeling safe and protected. She looked around the room, remembering how it had transformed from her Little Mermaid obsession into the sleek, contemporary room it was today. Her aunt did leave one Ariel pillow on the bed, just for memory's sake. Nessie traced her fingers around the red-headed, cartoon character on the pillow and smiled. She had only happy memories here at this house and finally felt a tiny sense of contentment in being here.

She got up slowly and heard the clanking of pots and pans below in the kitchen and the hushed tone of female voices. Her attic-room stairs went straight down into the hub of the house. Alice and Jasper always cooked and made the most delicious gourmet meals. Most of Nessie's memories at their house were in the kitchen, watching them cook together. She always laughed at her uncle and how silly he would act. Last night, her goofy uncle became her knight in shining armor.

She'd felt better once Jasper arrived, hugging her tightly before opening the car door for her. Her uncle didn't ask any questions, and he took her in without making it a big deal. She could tell that he was concerned, but he never pried. The only question he asked was if she was okay. She remembered answering, ' _Not really'_ and then falling asleep in his Jeep.

The next thing she recalled was him carrying her up the stairs, and in her groggy haze, she'd heard Alice questioning Jasper about what was going on with her niece. She'd internally smiled when Jasper shut Alice up by saying, ' _This isn't the time, Alice. She needs to sleep before you ask her twenty questions. She's hurting, and we need to help her, not make her more upset.'_ Nessie felt relieved for having Jasper in her life and on her side.

Alice had then quietly helped her into some pajamas and pulled the covers over the hurting Nessie after laying her head down on the pillow. Nessie chuckled a little when her aunt tucked the comforter in tightly all around her while whispering, ' _As snug as a bug in a rug.'_ It was something Alice had done hundreds of times when Nessie was little. The last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was Alice kissing her on the forehead and murmuring, ' _I love you.'_ Then a deep sleep overtook her.

She now stood at the top of the steps, listening to the noises of people cooking, and the laughing of her aunts. Nessie wondered when Rose made it into town, but the smell of the food made her sick, and she soon forgot about Rose and her arrival. Her body froze in indecision—to run to her bathroom and throw up or try to make it down the steps without puking.

She heard Rose and hurt physically, wanting to get to her. She willed her body to keep from throwing up and started down the steps a little too quickly in her haste. The third step found her footing off a bit, and soon, she sailed down the next ten steps or so on her bottom. It happened so fast that she didn't know she'd fallen until she came to a stop and her two aunts rushed to her aid.

"Oh, my God, Nessie. Are you okay?" She heard Rose say.

"Nessie, sweetie. What on earth did you just do?" her Aunt Alice questioned.

She didn't answer either of them because she just couldn't believe her clumsiness had struck again. She felt a little embarrassed and a sharp pain in her butt, back, and stomach. The fall hurt a little more than she thought it should.

Rose and Alice lifted her gently up from the bottom step and helped her to one of the plush chairs Alice had for seating in the cozy kitchen. She looked up at her aunts, who had their faces too close to hers, and laughed at the way they were contorted with concern.

"I'm okay, you two. How many times have I fallen down those steps? I've always told Aunt Alice that I needed a first floor room," she chuckled, trying to hide the fact that she was hurt more than she let on.

Alice smiled her sweet smile, but Rose seemed to be harder to convince.

"Rose, I'm okay. Really, I am. If I could just get a cup of coffee, I'd be better," Nessie requested. "What time is it?"

Rose walked over to the coffee pot and began pouring a cup for her niece. "It's almost lunch time, but Alice is still making us all breakfast. We were waiting on you to wake up." Rose turned and inspected Nessie's body without trying to hide it. "And couldn't you have put on a bra before coming downstairs? Your perkiness make us forty-something ladies feel a little droopy," Rose joked.

"Speak for yourself," Alice chirped, pushing up her small but still perky B cups.

"Oh, please, Rose. You and Alice have nothing to worry about. You two have great genes to keep you well maintained. Besides, I know Emmett doesn't complain," Nessie teased.

"Well, you're right about the Emmett part." Rose seemed to stop what she was doing and get lost in her thoughts of Emmett. "He does like to do that thing with them-"

"Ugh! No more information, please. I've already seen the two of you in action, and that mental picture is hard enough to get out of my mind." Nessie's comment jarred Rose out of her out of her thoughts. She quickly walked back to Nessie and tried to hand her the steaming mug, but Alice intercepted it before the exchange could be made.

" _Rose._ I thought we talked about this. I have _de-caf_ in the smaller carafe," Alice scolded and dumped out the fully-leaded coffee in the sink to the amazement of Nessie.

"What the hell, Alice? I never drink de-caf."

"You do now," she said back, cryptically.

Nessie watched her two aunts exchange quiet glances with each other and knew the two of them were keeping something from her.

"What's going on?" Nessie demanded.

Again, they looked at each other knowingly, and Nessie watched as Alice pinched Rose on the arm.

"You say it," Alice said, speaking through her teeth.

"Why me? You're the one who figured it out," Rose whispered loudly back to Alice.

"Okay...the two of you better talk right now and tell me what's going on," Nessie charged and watched as Alice pushed Rose forward after handing her a plastic shopping bag.

"Alice and I have kind of suspected something that we need to talk to you about."

"Suspected something? About me?" Nessie questioned, not knowing what to think.

Rose continued after another gentle push from Alice. "Yes, sweetie. We kind of think we know why you're so sick all the time."

Nessie froze. What had they concluded? She was just in pain from losing Jacob. There wasn't another explanation...Was there?

"What are you talking about? I'll be fine. I need to make things right with Jacob, and then I'll be okay," she reasoned.

"Yeah...about that...Nessie, sweetie, when was your last period?" Rose asked gingerly.

Nessie's eyes widened at Rose's question and panic overtook her body. She couldn't speak. She just tensed up in her chair, pulling her knees to her chest, feeling another small pain from her accident, but the twinge of hurt was nothing compared to what she was feeling at this moment. She began thinking back to when she'd had her last period and really couldn't remember.

"I...I...don't know."

"Were you and Jacob _careful?_ " Rose questioned, walking over to her with the bag in hand. Alice came closer, too.

"We were...most of the time." Nessie stopped, thinking back to their meeting at the hotel. That night had been a huge emotional roller coaster for her and using protection was the last thing on her mind. When she was in the shower with Jacob, she only wanted one thing; getting a condom had never crossed her mind. Nessie suddenly felt sick...again, but it had a whole new meaning to her now. "Oh, God!" she whispered through the beginnings of tears.

"You okay, Nessie?" Alice asked, looking more worried.

"What if I'm pregnant? I can't deal with Dad anymore, and if I'm pregnant..." A quiet sob escaped from her. The reality of her situation began to overwhelm her. She felt like she was locked in a small room and couldn't get out, becoming more claustrophobic every second. "I can't breathe."

Rose immediately made her way to Nessie and knelt down in front of her, taking her niece's head in her hands.

"I don't know what's going on with you and your father, but you have to tell me. We can't help you if you keep it all inside. We all feel helpless watching you become someone we don't recognize," Rose pleaded. "Can you please tell us why you and Jacob aren't together anymore? I don't buy that you just broke up. The two of you fell too fast and too hard for each other to be over so soon."

Nessie tried to get her breathing under control and succeeded only a little. Looking into the sympathetic eyes of Alice, and then to the ever-resilient Rose, she realized she had no other choice than to divulge the truth.

"Jacob didn't break up with me like Dad told you." Nessie paused, trying to keep it together.

"Then what happened?" Rose demanded. "Did your father have anything to do with it?"

Nessie kept her eyes cast downward and wrapped her arms around her middle, thinking that there could be a life growing inside her. This new possibility had changed the circumstances her father had so rigidly tried to control. She could no longer stay away from the love of her life and most definitely couldn't be apart from him if she were having his child. The rules of the game had changed, and there wasn't anything else she could do but open up to her aunts and let whatever would happen unfold on its own.

"Yes...He never liked Jacob or anything about him. He didn't like the fact that I found Charlie again." She paused, taking a breath. She noticed the surprise on their faces when she mentioned Charlie.

"There's so much you don't know...Dad then found out that I knew about what he did to Mom before I was born. I think he blames Jacob for me learning the truth. When he discovered that Jacob and I were sleeping together, well, let's just say that he didn't like that too much."

"Dads don't usually care for any man sticking a dick in his daughter, but that's beside the point. You never told me about Charlie. How did you find out?" Rose asked bluntly.

"No one told me about Charlie until I happened to see him again. I connected the dots and figured it out for myself. It was me knowing about... about everything that made Dad angry. He told me to leave Jacob."

"You told him that you wouldn't do such a thing, right?" Alice questioned. "I mean, you couldn't give up that easily on someone you love."

"I did. I flat out refused to leave Jacob, defying Dad for the first time. I was set to leave home and never come back, but he doesn't like to lose, as you well know," Nessie explained.

"Then what did he say?" Rose asked, looking angry.

"At that time, Jacob had just gotten his scholarship...I was so proud. We could be together and go to school, but Dad decided to use his power with the university to get the scholarship revoked if I didn't 'obey his orders.'" Once the words came out of her mouth, a weight lifted off her shoulders, and her aunts let out gasps at the same time.

"Jacob had to go to school. I couldn't stand in the way of that happening."

"And you believed your father?" Rose asked.

"Why wouldn't I? He scared me with what he could do. I was frightened for Jacob mostly," Nessie answered, twirling her hair in her hands.

"That son of a bitch! I swear, I'm going to rip him a new one the next time I-" Rose began but was cut off by Nessie before she could finish her tirade of threats against her brother.

"Don't say anything, please. At least not yet. I need to talk to Jacob first, especially if I'm..." She couldn't finish the sentence or say the word _pregnant_. It scared her too much.

Rose took a box out of the bag and handed it to her niece. "Let's find out, okay? Then we can figure out what to do next."

Nessie stood up and felt the ache in her back but immediately forgot about the pain when Alice engulfed her in her arms.

"I'm so sorry. I wish you'd come to me..." Alice whispered.

"I wish I could have, too. I just didn't have a choice. All of you have your plans for me and what you want me to do, whether or not I wanted them for myself. I didn't want to let any of you down, which I know now isn't the right thing for me. I couldn't come to you because you were just as demanding as Dad," Nessie confessed to Alice, keeping hold of her aunt.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," Alice kept repeating over and over as she pulled Nessie closer.

"I know."

Rose cleared her throat, drawing the attention of Nessie and Alice. "We won't meddle in her life anymore. Check. We won't kill Edward...yet. Check. _Now_ can we see if she's knocked up?"

They all chuckled nervously at Rose's crassness but knew she was right. Before Nessie could do anything, she needed to see if her aunts' suspicion was true.

"You haven't peed yet, have you?" Rose asked candidly.

Nessie looked at the pregnancy test and took a deep breath.

~o~O~o~

Jacob sat in the locker room by himself, staring blankly at the wall. He arrived early for weight training only because sitting at home was driving him crazy. It wasn't a huge house to being with, but the four walls seemed like they were closing in all around him. No amount of sports on television could take his mind away from what happened or erase her image from his mind. The way she'd looked when he left her alone gave him a guilty feeling that he couldn't escape. He knew he was right in doing what he did, but it didn't keep him from regretting it.

Then the vision of her came into his head, and all he could think about was Nessie locked in the bathroom with him the night before. He could hear her tiny moans and heavy breaths and remembered how she reacted to his touches. The way her cool body felt so good close to his and the way it flushed pink as she stood naked in front of him made him constantly hard. No amount of jacking off helped, and God knows he had tried.

He breathed in deeply, holding his head in his hands and trying to get himself under control, but just when he thought the moment had passed, thoughts of her copper hair loosely falling on her bare shoulders seeped back in. How could he forget the way her wet heat had felt on his fingers when he moved them in and out of her, happily torturing her, and how he wanted to have his cock inside her instead? He licked his lips, remembering the taste of her pussy. After he'd left her alone and shut the door, he put his still-moist fingers in his mouth just to savor her. His body ached when he did because her essence tasted so damn good. Her scent seemed to linger all around him, making him crazy ever since.

Weight training would be good for him on this Sunday, he thought. It would help him release his pent-up anger and alleviate a little of his sadness. If only Nessie could figure out what she wanted, then he wouldn't have to sit here and worry so much. Either she wanted him, or she didn't. He was tired of this gray area they were in. Hopefully, leaving last night before making love to her had sparked a little fire inside her. He didn't know how much more his heart could take.

Jacob sat in front of his locker lost in thought when a few of his teammates began showing up. Emmett came in, taking a seat next to him and wearing the usual smile he never seemed to be without.

"Hey, Jake!" Emmett called out, elbowing Jacob at the same time. "Why ya' here so early? To make us look bad or something?" he joked.

"Nah. Just thinking, that's all," Jacob answered. "Why're you so happy? Did you get some?"

"Nope. Not yet, at least. Rose flew in unexpectedly, and I'm pretty sure we'll meet up tonight for some one-on-one time, if you know what I mean." He guffawed.

Jacob laughed a bit, enjoying Emmett's humor and the way he took his mind off Nessie a bit.

"You still seeing that old lady?" A high-tenor voice bravely called out as he strolled into the locker room. Emmett became defensive at the little guy who dared to call Rose old.

"Who are you calling an old lady, Newton?" Emmett, the lineman, stood defensively in front of the much smaller cornerback.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about, McCarty. She's almost old enough to be your mom. How's fucking an old lady?" Mike laughed, not knowing his joking around wasn't being taken as such.

"Newton, if you know what's best for you, you're gonna shut the fuck up right now," Emmett demanded.

With hands up in the air as if in surrender, Mike Newton back tracked, changing his tune. "Sorry man - just making a joke."

"You know she's got a body better than most of the girls around here, and you're just jealous because you couldn't get laid even if you paid someone for it," Emmett charged, still not letting Mike off the hook for insulting his Rose.

"Look Em, I'm not gonna fight you. Rose is hot. I'd do her." Mike wasn't doing a very good job of getting off of Emmett's bad side. He seemed to keep digging a bigger hole for himself by talking about how hot Rose was. Emmett glared down at the wise–ass, ready to hurt him for saying anything out of line about his woman. "Not that I would sleep with her...forget I said anything...Geesh." Mike made his way to his locker and started to get dressed.

"Who's fucking who?" Tyler yelled as he came in on the tail-end of the conversation between Emmett and Mike.

"Me and your mom," Mike yelled, trying to get a rise out of the arrogant loudmouth.

"Mike, are you looking to get your ass kicked?" Emmett shouted at the clueless Newton who kept trying to be funny. Little did he know, Mike was about to get himself into more trouble than he could handle.

"Damn, can't you girls take a joke? I give up. If you can't make fun of an old lady, then who can you make fun of?" Mike commented, not realizing he was about to be pounced.

Jacob sat and watched the exchanges between his friends. Before Mike could say anything else, he found himself in a headlock with Emmett's bicep wrapped tightly around his neck. His face turned a light shade of purple, showing how much trouble he was having breathing.

"You need to shut the fuck up about Rose right now! Got it, ass wipe!" Emmett growled at Mike, letting the small guy go free but not before applying a little much-needed pressure to his grip just to ensure that Mike knew Emmett meant what he said.

"I got it! I got it! Let me go!"

Emmett pushed Mike off of him and into the wall. Mike left with his tail hanging between his legs.

"It'll be okay, Em. He didn't know not to mess with you about Rose," Jacob spoke, trying to console his angry friend.

However, the peace was short lived.

"How is Rose, Em? I bet she's a good fuck. That ass and those tits are tight. Bodies like that must run in the family. I mean, Nessie's got one hell of a body like her aunt. I bet if Rose is a good fuck, Nessie can't be too bad either? Right, Jake?" Tyler began his taunting, not really understanding he was pissing off the two biggest players on the team.

"You need to shut it now before I kick your sorry, rich ass," Emmett threatened.

Jacob didn't say anything. He just stared at his nemesis, hoping he would shut up, so he wouldn't have to bash Tyler's head into the concrete wall today. Everyday Jacob struggled to keep from hurting Tyler, and today was no exception. Today, this jerk was pushing the boundaries, and Jacob was in no mood to control himself.

"I don't have to do shit, McCarty."

"Look, Tyler. If you know what's good for you, you'll drop it right now," Emmett responded for Jacob, realizing his friend wasn't in the mood for Tyler's antics.

"What? I'm only making conversation. We always talk about girls and fucking here. It's called _locker room talk,_ or haven't you heard of it?"

"Look, I know what locker room talk is, and what you're doing isn't cool. You just don't come in here talking about our women and if they're good fucks. You just don't do that," Emmett replied while Jacob continued to remain quiet.

"Well, as I recall, Jacob and Nessie aren't together anymore, so I can talk about her all I want. What did she do Jacob? Did her daddy find out about you two, and then she cast you aside like the trash you are?"

Emmett placed his hand on Tyler's chest, keeping the jerk from coming any closer to Jacob, but Jacob stood, unable to sit down any longer.

"Did you fuck his precious darling?" Tyler teased.

"Tyler, I'm giving you one warning and one warning only. You shut the fuck up about Ness, or you'll be regretting you ever mentioned her name," Jacob said forcefully. The silent giant awoke, becoming more enraged as Tyler spewed his derogatory remarks.

"Dude, you're just jealous because Nessie would never give you the time of day. You repulsed her, and she never wanted you to touch her. You're mad because Jacob got to have something you'll never have. I got to sit and watch you fuck any willing girl while you pretended to be the perfect little boyfriend in front of her father. You're a spoiled douchebag, and everyone knows it." Emmett stood with his chest bowed up to Tyler, defending his friend and the honor of Nessie.

"She's just a spoiled cock-tease controlled by her daddy. Jacob should know that by now. Once you get on the bad side of Edward Cullen, it's all over. At least I have his respect. He still likes me."

"The only reason you have anything is because of your father. You run around here, acting like you own everything and everyone. I hate to tell you, but that money isn't yours; it belongs to your dad. The only way you have anything is because of him and not anything you ever did yourself," Emmett continued as Jacob stood quietly fuming behind him.

Tyler's head faced the floor as he listened to Emmett's rant. He never turned his head from looking downward, but his eyes slowly turned and glared in the direction of the two huge guys. Then a devious smirk crossed his lips before he spoke, making him look like The Joker, ready to destroy anything in his path.

"You two haven't a fucking clue, do ya'? Your hands are tied, and you don't even know it," Tyler whispered.

"What the fuck does that mean, Crowley?" Emmett asked, speaking through his gritted teeth.

"You know, I may not have the money myself, but I reap the benefits of it. The sad thing is that I don't need this fucking scholarship to go to school. If I didn't have football, I could still get my degree and do whatever the hell I wanted. You two assholes need your free ride, or you wouldn't be here. You don't realize that all it would take to get your asses back to your home towns and back to the blue-collar jobs you were born to do would be one fucking phone call from _my_ _so-called_ sorry ass. I could get you thrown off this team and out of school so fast if I wanted. It may not be _my_ money now, but I get to use it however the fuck _I_ want." Tyler seemed proud of himself, feeling like a puppet master.

As Jacob stood in the dim light of the locker room listening to the arrogant tirade of Tyler, something clicked inside his head. Tyler didn't notice the way Jacob took a small step forward toward him. He didn't even notice how Jacob's breathing intensified.

"Well, I'll be damned," Jacob whispered under his breath, shaking his head.

It took Tyler's words to finally help Jacob put the pieces of the puzzle together. He finally figured out what Nessie couldn't tell him, and he understood why she'd been so reluctant to talk to him about anything. He just realized how her father kept her away from him. It was there all along, dangling right in front of his face, but he never noticed it until now. Edward had threatened to take away Jacob's scholarship if she dared to stay with him.

She'd sacrificed their relationship in order for him to do something he'd never thought possible again. She had bypassed her happiness to ensure his. He'd figured out why she'd suffered in silence.

The thought of her in pain was more than he could bear.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Black?" Tyler demanded.

"What the fuck am I talking about?" Jacob let out a small laugh. "Let's start with how I'll never hear Ness' name come off your lips ever again, or you'll regret the day you were born. You have no right to speak about her at all. She's mine, and that's all there is to it."

"She's not yours anymore, or did you forget that? It won't take me long to get back into her life with her dad's help. I'll probably be thanking you for breaking her in for me." Tyler turned to see who was watching in the locker room. He enjoyed putting on a good show for the guys that had gathered around.

"Em, would you mind sticking around to clean up my mess? I've got some things to do after I...well, you'll see what I'm about to do," Jacob asked, looking to his friend for back up.

Emmett nodded his head heartily in agreement, completely aware of what his friend had planned.

As Tyler reveled in the attention, he didn't notice Jacob's squeezing his knuckles together over and over again, allowing the blood to pump freely to his extremities. He turned back towards Emmett and Jacob, not realizing that he would be met with a very unexpected, blunt force.

Jacob made sure he put all his weight into the right-hook he threw. The impact of Tyler's cheek bone on his fist actually felt good. He knew it would hurt later, but somehow, this pain gave him the satisfaction he'd been in need of. Jacob watched Tyler as if he were in slow motion. His body went one way, and his head went another. The thud he made as he hit the hard floor of the locker room reverberated through the building.

A small applause erupted around Jacob, but he paid no attention to it.

He reached down and pulled Tyler's half-conscious body up by the neck of his shirt and gave him one last warning.

"Like I said, asshole, that was your last warning. I could do way more damage to you, but I don't want to go back to jail." The last line was more for effect, but he couldn't help but laugh because it was partly true.

He began to walk off but turned to see Tyler rolling around in pain on the floor, and Emmett laughing his ass off.

"One more thing, Crowley. You'll never mention fucking Ness _ever_ again. It's something you'll only get to dream about because she'd never fuck the likes of you."

With that, Jacob turned back around and headed to Coach Rassmusen's office. He had a few questions for the old man, and he needed answers fast.

~o~O~o~

"Nessie. Nessie, honey. Are you okay? It's been way more than three minutes. What does it say?" Rose asked as she tapped on the bathroom door lightly.

"Give her a moment, Rose. This could be life altering for her. She might need to take a few _oh shit!_ breaths," Alice whispered to Rose.

Nessie could hear her two aunts bickering back and forth through the door, but she didn't really catch what they were saying.

The only thing that registered were the two blue lines on the stick that she had stared at for a while now. She knew what that meant, and it scared her beyond belief.

The only thought running through her mind was that she needed to get to Jacob and she needed to get to him _now._

~o~O~o~

Jacob had exhausted all of his ways to find Nessie. He rode as fast as his bike would carry him to her house, but she wasn't home. He talked to one of the employees, and they hadn't seen her for a while. He was glad Edward wasn't home and suspected Bella was there but didn't want to be disturbed. The track didn't have anyone on running it, so he knew she wasn't practicing. He definitely couldn't call her, and he didn't know what else to do. His last line of hope was Emmett, hoping he could get a message to Rose for him. He didn't know what else to do other than wait at home.

The ride to his house seemed longer than usual because he couldn't help but think about how helpless he felt. He needed to get to Nessie, but his bad luck seemed to be keeping him from finding her. He finally turned the last corner of the two-lane road before seeing his house come into view. He parked in his usual spot and took his helmet off and then threw it to the ground in frustration.

The walk to the front of his house was the same as it had been thousand of times before. Nothing was new or out of the ordinary until he reached his front porch.

There, curled up in a chair, was Ness, fast asleep.

~o~O~o~

A/N Next chapter's title is "Sex on Fire". That's all I have to say about that. ;)

*When I wrote the story along time ago, I wrote a one-shot about what happened the night Emmett and Rose met at the dance club. I posted it on archive of our own because it is super explicit. If you would like to read it, just go over there and check it out. Don't forget to leave a comment or kudos, if you would like. That would make me happy :-)

archiveofourown

.org

works/14713322?view

_adult=true

FFn doesn't do urls well, so I'm just 3todream3 at Ao3


	33. Sex on Fire

**"Soft lips are parted.**

 **Knuckles are pale.**

 **Feels like you're dying.**

 **Dying...**

 **Your sex is on fire."**

 _ **Sex on Fire**_ **by Kings of Leon**

Her copper hair cascaded down the sides of the lone chair on Jacob's porch. It was more radiant than he remembered, shimmering in the sunlight that had made a surprise, late-afternoon appearance. Nessie's curls fell across her face, too, hiding part of it and making him anxious to gently tuck it away behind her ears so he could see more of her. Wanting to touch her, he moved quickly from the worn path to the rickety steps. He leaped easily to the top one and paused just before reaching her.

He had to remind himself to breathe and take in this moment. How is it that she showed up here on his doorstep? What had happened since the party last night? Jacob held a little resentment over what had transpired between them over the past two months, but his anger all converged to her father now. If his suspicions were true, then her father was the most vindictive man he had ever met or could even imagine—worse than any villain in books or movies. What would possess a man to force his daughter, against her will, to be without the person she loved? What could Edward say to possibly justify his decision?

Jacob didn't know the answers to his questions, and he was pretty sure he didn't ever want to. He knew that everything he needed or wanted in this lifetime slept in that worn, wicker chair. Jacob noticed she was dressed in Ugg boots, with a pair of what looked to be flannel pajama bottoms. She'd wrapped her arms tightly around her middle, covered by a gray hoodie jacket that looked to be at least two sizes too big for her. It didn't take him long to realize that she must be freezing; she was always cold. The chilly weather never bothered him, and he never minded being her personal space heater.

The backpack he had strapped to him lazily found its way to the floor of the wooden porch, and he moved towards her as quietly as he could. Jacob became mesmerized by how peaceful she looked sleeping. He hadn't seen her look that way in quite some time; hell, he had barely been able to see her at all recently... until now.

And now she slept here.

Jacob fell to his knees before her, and one of his hands brushed the run-a-way curls that hid her face, moving them to the side. When he did so, she let out a small sigh but didn't wake. Her full, pink lips were parted and seemed to beckon him, causing him to wet his own. How he missed kissing her, tasting her. Without meaning to, his head dipped towards her, to get closer to the air she inhaled and exhaled. He needed to smell her scent, it would bring back to life the part of him he thought he'd lost.

Stopping just before his lips found hers, he made sure he didn't wake her yet. There was something so simple and so serene about this stolen moment between them that made him want to relish it for just a moment more. He made note of every small freckle on her slender nose and how she sounded when she let out her deep breaths. Simply being near her again stirred up his desire for her. Jacob could feel the increasing pressure in his chest that always came when his body was so close to hers. When he could take it no longer, his tongue began to trace her bottom lip, wetting it before he gave her a gentle kiss.

She stirred for a moment, feeling herself being lifted out of her beautiful dream. In it, Jacob was there, kissing her and holding her. She didn't want to wake because doing so would make the only happiness she had disappear. She felt herself reluctantly moving to consciousness, but she didn't feel the essence of him disappear like it usually did upon waking. In fact, the Jacob in her dreams felt real...so real that it hurt her physically. She kept her eyes shut tightly because she knew if she were to open them, he would be gone, and she didn't want to risk not feeling him again. Her dreams were all she had left.

Nessie let out a small noise and felt the pressure of the kisses increase. She matched the movements of his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. The taste of his tongue on hers felt so real, and soon, she started to wonder if she were sleeping at all. He bit her lower lip so lightly, without even thinking, making her flinch and open her eyes.

His hands had found their way to her face, and his head was so close to hers. Nessie closed her eyes and opened them again, hoping it wasn't a dream. After the third time of blinking her eyes open and closed, she finally realized that Jacob actually sat right in front of her. The warmth from his hands confirmed his realness even more. She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes. The enormity of the moment began to overwhelm her.

She didn't know how he would receive her impromptu visit today. He'd been pretty upset with her last night when he'd left, and she had no clue if he wanted to see her at all. After the positive results from the pregnancy test, she had done nothing but think of what she was going to say to him and how.

The afternoon had been a blur. She'd never changed out of her pajamas, only thinking of getting to Jacob. He didn't answer his phone when she called from her aunt and uncle's house, and she didn't want to stay there waiting for him to call. She knew he had football practice, so her best bet was to wait for him here.

Her mind kept recalling the events prior to getting here. Her uncle was the only one who spoke in a rational voice after the test results were revealed. Alice kept screaming "Oh, my God!" like a banshee over and over again, and the always resilient Rose, who never feared anyone or anything, just stared in silence at the wall. Nessie didn't have time to deal with them at that moment or to hear them say how disappointed they were with her. The only thought that rushed into her head upon seeing the two blue lines was Jacob. Getting to him became her goal, and she couldn't deal with anyone else.

After haphazardly putting on her boots, she ran to the front door. She couldn't help but laugh at her choice of outfits. If she did find Jacob, he would surely laugh at her old pajama bottoms and winter boots that were topped off with an equally ancient white, fitted t-shirt. Not even bothering to brush her hair or teeth, she'd made a dash for the door.

She screeched to a stop when she saw her uncle leaning against a column of the front porch with a set of keys in his hand.

"Going somewhere?" he asked knowingly.

"Um, yeah. I need to go see-"

"Jacob," he finished before she could.

"Yes."

"Figured I could drive you. Your aunts seem a little beside themselves right now. I really need to get the hell out of here for a while. I'm sure you do, too."

She didn't know how to tell him that there was a child growing inside her. She couldn't even say the word 'Mom' in reference to herself. _I'm only nineteen..._ She shook off her thoughts before losing it in front of Jasper. She saw a look of comfort in his eyes and knew that she'd be okay. Uncle Jasper seemed to calm her down no matter how insane she felt on the inside.

"I know what's going on, String Bean. You don't even need to tell me. I'm here for you, and I'm gonna do whatever you need me to. I'm just sorry I didn't do anything earlier. Then maybe you...Maybe things would be different." He smiled, lifting one side of his lips more than the other. "Come on. Let's go to La Push." He took one of her arms and pulled her to him.

She opened her eyes, thinking that it seemed like forever ago that her uncle had dropped her off at Jacob's house. Jasper wasn't ready to leave her alone, but he knew she would be okay. He was no longer going to sit by and watch her suffer. Now he had a reason to be strong and stand up for himself, as well. He couldn't sit back and let the family run his life anymore. If Nessie was going to be brave enough to step out on her own, then he could be strong, too. The one thing Jasper did ask of her was to put on his sweatshirt; at least he would know she'd be warm sitting out in the cold... waiting.

Nessie remembered sitting in the chair, hoping to hear the rumble of Jacob's motorcycle engine at any moment. Then the sleepiness she had felt a lot lately overtook her, and she curled up in the chair, finally succumbing to sleep. She now understood why she had been so exhausted lately. She drifted off, thinking of the baby that she had only known about for such a short amount of time.

The next thing she remembered was waking up to Jacob's lips kissing her and thinking that she had finally made it home.

"Are you really here?" she whispered when his lips moved from hers to her jaw, never ceasing his kisses.

"I wanted to ask the same question," he replied. His thumb ran back and forth over her bottom lip and his stare met hers. He looked into her watery eyes and could tell that she had been through hell. In an instant, her eyes closed. It was hard for her to look into his when the guilt from leaving him took over. How a man as good as Jacob could sit here and kiss someone like her was unfathomable. She suddenly felt unworthy to be touched by him.

"Jacob... I... need to say something." Nessie sat up in the chair, opening her legs unknowingly, which allowed him to get closer to her. She could feel the heat from his chest as his body closed in on hers.

His hands raked up and down her back as she tried to figure out how to beg for his forgiveness. She had to grip his shirt at the chest to steady herself, never looking up at him. 'Ashamed' didn't cover the way she felt.

"I am so-" she began to apologize but was interrupted by him.

"Please don't say it. Don't start with that." He seemed to already know what she was going to say. "I have just one question for you, and I need you to answer it. Then you can say whatever you want, okay? And you better not try to apologize because there's nothing to forgive."

She quietly nodded her head. She was putty in his hands and would do whatever he wanted her to do.

His fingers clasped her chin, pulling it upwards to make sure she looked at him. He needed to see her eyes when he got her answer.

"Are you here to be with me no matter what?"

She didn't answer right away, not because she didn't know how to, but only because of how much her emotions overpowered her rational thought. She loved Jacob. There was no doubt about that fact. The hardest part of her answer came from knowing that being back with Jacob would end his college dream, and it would be her fault. Saying she was back wasn't as easy as it sounded. Her answer held drastic consequences, but she was finally ready to meet the repercussions of her decision.

She choked back her tears and uttered, "Yes, I'm back," as best she could.

"Fuck the consequences?" he asked, reminding her of his words from last night.

"Yes... yes, Jacob. I don't care anymore about anything except you, but you know things will be bad, don't you?" Her words were met with Jacob's silence. "My dad won't accept this and will retaliate; you know this." Her forefinger traced his cheekbone as she tried to read his expression.

He took a deep breath, and she thought she saw him give his signature, cocky smirk. _How could he be smiling at a time like this?_

"Your father can't touch me."

Nessie's head shot up upon hearing those words.

"What do you mean?"

"He can't fucking touch me. Even if you're with me, he can't do a thing. He can no longer blackmail you..."

Her hand stopped caressing his face, and she quickly moved them to her lap. She began fidgeting in her chair.

"What do you mean?" Nessie looked dumbfounded at his revelation. "How did you know? I never told anyone..."

"It took some time, but I finally figured it out. He can't make you suffer anymore, baby. Coach Rassmussen said the football boosters would go ape shit if my scholarship was suddenly revoked. Season ticket sales are through the roof because of me joining the team. There's evidently a lot of money involved with me playing now. Your father can't screw with that."

"Really?"

Jacob's words opened up a new world to her. One in which she didn't have to give in to her father's demands.

"Yep. Coach's last words to me were 'I'd like to see the son-of-a-bitch try and take the scholarship away from you! Over my dead body!'"

Nessie smiled at Jacob's attempt to recreate his coach's southern accent.

Nessie's smile soon turned to light laughter because she finally felt free from the chains of her father. She knew he'd be upset, but Jacob was untouchable. That was the only thing that mattered. Her father could go to hell for all she cared. The weight of her obligations had finally been lifted off her shoulders. She had no idea what she would do next, but she did know she would enjoy the here and now with Jacob.

Her laughter soon stopped when Jacob grabbed her hand and turned it upward, exposing her delicate wrist to him. She watched as he brought it to his mouth to kiss the throbbing pulse point; she shuddered at the feeling his lips brought to her. She didn't seem to realize that the absence of her touch was driving him crazy. He then took her trembling hand and brought it back to his face.

"Please don't stop touching me. When I was without you, I didn't feel right. I missed you... I couldn't bear to think of you never touching me again." Jacob barely kissed her hand and placed it back to his face. "Now that you're here, please don't take your hands off me."

Her hands reached up to cup his head and tilted his mouth down to hers. "Please don't ever stop kissing me."

With haste, one of his hands on her back found its way downward. He pushed the spot right above her rear end into him, causing her to move forward in her chair and make contact with his body. She sucked in a breath when he paused just before his lips made contact because she could feel how hard he was through his track pants.

"Do you know how much I want you right now, baby?" His voice thrummed with desire.

"Not as much as I want you."

Her mouth enveloped in his, sending her body into overdrive.

Jacob's thirst for her had finally culminated to this boiling point, and he could no longer be without her. He didn't know how he'd said no to her last night.

Nessie clung to his neck for dear life, not wanting to break this kiss. She could feel Jacob's love for her with every pass of his tongue and nip of his teeth. He was always gentle, but she loved the hint of forcefulness in his kisses that seemed deliberate and never lukewarm. Her core brushed against his cock, making him growl at the promise of what was to come.

It didn't take long for Jacob to realize he and Nessie were outside on his front porch. Although he didn't live in a neighborhood, per say, one never knew who could be watching. Wanting her all to himself, Jacob decided he needed to move her where there wasn't a chance for onlookers. He broke the kiss too prematurely for her liking.

"No! Don't stop, please," she begged, trying to push her lips back to his.

"Let's go inside, Ness."

Without any more explanation, she knew why he needed to move her. All she could think about was his bed...him naked...him inside her. A moan escaped her mouth, and she tasted a little blood from her bottom lip that she'd bitten as she thought about finally making love to him.

Jacob backed away, allowing her to move out of the chair. Her body took a little while to move; she had been lying there for so long that she had become stiff. She began making her way to the front door and could feel Jacob's presence behind her.

Suddenly, she felt Jacob's hands pull her oversized sweatshirt from behind. Nessie soon found herself being propelled forcefully into his body. Her back gently crashed into his solid chest.

"Jacob," she found herself saying, shocked by the unexpected embrace. "What are you doing?"

His arms felt amazing wrapped around her; she finally felt alive again. It had been too long without him. Jacob's hands began to move up and down the sides of her body, making her melt more with every

touch of his eager hands. She felt his head move to one side of hers, and his lips tickled the skin of her ear before they moved to her earlobe. He stopped his sweet torture for only as long as it took to answer her question.

"You got too far away from me. I can't have you apart from me now. Now that you're back, I want to be close to you all the time," he whispered. The palm of his hand grazed the side of her breast, causing her to suck in the air around her.

"But I was just going inside your house like we-" and her thoughts went blank when she noticed Jacob's fingers had found the zipper of the frumpy, old hoodie.

"What were you going to say?" Jacob laughed a bit, sliding the zipper downward slowly.

"I don't remember... I... I..." She forgot how to string words together to make a sentence. Soon he had successfully unzipped the hoodie and had already begun gathering the cotton material at her shoulders to take it off.

Nessie did remember that she had so much to tell him... so many things. The first thing she needed to do was beg for his forgiveness, even though he'd already told her he'd forgiven her. Then she had to tell him about the news she'd discovered from this morning - the news from the pregnancy test.

"Jacob?" she forced out of her throat, making it crack when she spoke.

"Yeah, baby?"

Her arms felt the cold breeze as he finally removed the jacket.

"I still need to say so much to you. I need you to know how sorry-"

"Ness," he interrupted before she could finish her apology. "I'm going to respectfully ask you to shut the fuck up."

Her body froze in surprise upon hearing him talk that way to her.

"I just know that if you keep talking, and if you don't get inside my house now, then I'll have no choice but to fuck you out here on my front porch. The neighbors might enjoy the show, but wouldn't you rather this happened in private?"

It took her a few moments to get her wits about her. The way he spoke drove her crazy and made her want to do very bad things with him. She turned her body to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. While her hands brushed his hair line with small tickles, her breasts pressed into his chest. His arms wrapped around her and helped pull her tighter into his body, enjoying that she was finally here with him. She looked up and found his beautiful face gazing back at her. The lust in his eyes was evident. Her body began to tingle all over, and she felt her panties disappear into a puddle of wetness.

"Jacob?" She said his name while reaching up on her tip toes to get closer to him.

"Mmm-hmm," he hummed as he kissed her forehead.

"I've spent my life worrying about what other people think, and I couldn't care less what your neighbors see. In fact, I'm not worried if you do fuck me on your porch because all I know is that I want you... always... anytime and anyplace."

A groan escaped from Jacob, his hands cupped her ass, and he lifted her in one swift motion as her legs wrapped around him. Her arms engulfed the top part of his body, not only in a wanton need, but also to hold on for dear life. His actions were primal and quick; he knew without a doubt what he wanted to do with her. As soon as he heard that she didn't care about who watched, neither did he. Their mouths crashed into one another, making up for the kisses they'd been unable to share over their separation. The feeling of his hardened cock against her obvious arousal turned him on even more. He heard her boots fall to the floor as Nessie kicked them off.

He moved her towards the house, but he didn't try to go in. He stopped his progression only because her back had hit the front door. Her face scrunched up a little bit as a small sting of pain shot through her back, reminding her of the fall down the stairs this morning. It left as quickly as it came.

"You okay?" he wondered, making sure he hadn't hurt her.

"I'm fine. Now, please don't stop what you're doing," she demanded.

His hand squeezed her ass harder to him, causing a growl to erupt from the center of his chest. "Shit... I need a condom, baby. They're inside," he breathed in between the slow rocking movements of his hips. He had a hard time not moving his hardness into the heat between her thighs. She wanted nothing more than for him to undress her and take her right then and there, but when he mentioned the condom, something inside her alerted her brain to tell him the news.

The news that they were having a baby.

Then his hand slid its way underneath the front of her pajama bottoms, and something unintelligible escaped her lips. Her hips bucked involuntarily, just from the feel of his hands on her. Jacob made small circles with his thumb on top of her panties, whispering _fuck_ as he felt how wet she was for him already. He couldn't fathom life without her... without this connection they always shared. It didn't take long for his thumb dip underneath the thin fabric to find her clit, flicking it just enough to cause her to yell out.

"Jacob, oh... ah, fuck." She couldn't talk properly; her body had just been seized by pleasure she had been without for too long. She realized telling him about the baby would have to wait.

"You won't need a condom, Jacob." She would have to lie because she couldn't tell him the truth in this moment. Her teeth found the flesh of his neck, and she bit, gently enough that it wouldn't break the skin too much, but hard enough to leave a mark. It turned her on beyond belief to do such a thing, to have the faintest taste of his blood on her tongue.

His body kept thrusting into hers because he just couldn't help himself. Even with clothes on, being together like this felt so good.

"Why not?" he grunted, not really sounding concerned about it.

"Um..."

His thumb kept its blissful pulse, making her push her hips into him more.

"...I, uh, am on the pill now," she said in between her bated breaths. It felt wrong lying to him, but she couldn't deal with revealing such a bombshell right now. Her need for him was immediate.

He didn't speak; he just pressed himself into her and stopped. Jacob was so hard that it almost hurt her to feel him against her flesh. She knew he needed her now. He tenderly slid her down his legs, keeping her steady to make sure she found her footing. He didn't open the door or move away from her. Nessie didn't know what he would do next, but she definitely knew what he had on his mind.

Soon, Jacob's hands gripped the waistband of her pajama bottoms, and she felt them snaking down her legs; she helped him by stepping out of them. He pinned her to the door once more, eager to start again.

"Flannel, huh?" he smirked.

"Yeah. Pretty sexy, right?" she joked back.

"You've never looked sexier to me." He took his hand and rubbed her bare thigh. "That's better," he crooned, feeling her bare flesh and causing little fires to erupt on her skin wherever he touched.

She stood on his front porch naked from the waist down and didn't feel self-conscious about it at all.

His head found the crook of her neck, and he sucked on it firmly, marking her. "You should always wear tight, white shirts without bras. Always," he mumbled, finding one of her breasts and stroking it, making her nipple pebble with just his touch.

"But only for me," he added.

"It's all just for you... ung... Jacob?" Her desire heightened, and just feeling his touches was insufficient now. His hands kept exploring her breasts, driving her madder by the second. She heard him make a sound in response and hoped he was listening.

"I want you to touch me like this, you know that, but if you don't make love to me now, I'm going to combust." Her voice pleaded with him, letting him know that she ached for him in the worst way. Her hands played underneath his shirt, circling his muscles as she moved downward, close to his cock.

"I think I can do something about that." He winked at her, but his cockiness was soon replaced with an _Oh, God!_ and his eyes rolled back in his head because she had taken down his pants below his rear end and grasped his erection in her hand. His body was paralyzed at the feeling of her hand on his dick. She playfully circled the tip of his head with her thumb, stroked him, and soon, began pumping him, increasing the pressure with each pass.

Fucking her became his urgent desire. Although her hand felt amazing, he needed her pussy around him. Nothing else mattered.

They were outside and practically naked for all the world to see, but neither one of them cared. He looked around at the sleepy houses in the distance and saw no signs of life, and he figured he was alone with Nessie. He then spied the porch railing within arms reach. Silently, he removed her hand from his erection and placed his hands on either side of her hips. She didn't protest because she knew she wouldn't be disappointed.

Jacob turned her around forcefully, moved her ass into his hardness, and directed her a couple of steps closer to the railing.

"Put your hands there, baby," he ordered. A different pitch emerged in his voice when he began telling her what to do. It was low, rough, sexy. Jacob could talk to her all night long with that voice, and she'd do whatever he wanted.

Nessie let out a small moan when she realized what he had in mind. The first and only time he took her from behind, she had just realized she would have to leave him. The sex was torture for her; she was caught in her own heaven and hell all at the same time. She noted the feeling of how different this sex would be. There was no ominous ending in sight. Nessie knew he would make her orgasm, and then she'd get to come back for seconds and thirds. She knew that they could be together like this without any more roadblocks, and that freedom allowed her to let go and enjoy everything Jacob would do to her. The devastation their separation had wrought disappeared with every touch, kiss, and intimate moment shared between the two lovers.

Jacob's knee found its way between her legs, and he gently parted them. Her back curved as she held on to the railing, which positioned her lush ass at the perfect position for him. Nessie felt herself dripping with want, and her body was ready. His hands steadied her hips, and he couldn't imagine how good she would feel. He would just have to dive in and find out.

He moved his cock to her, sliding it on top of her wet folds just to tease her and remember every inch of her. The ache in his body increased, and he slid himself back and forth again. He found himself pushing her shirt haphazardly above her tits, needing to have his hands so many places at once.

"God, Ness. Guide me in please," he whispered, squeezing her breast hard in sexual frustration.

"Ah," she yelped, feeling the pleasure and pain his grip caused. He rested right at her entrance, and all she had to do was open herself up and guide him in. "I'm so ready for you, baby" she mewed, looking over her shoulder at him. She didn't have to tell him twice.

He thrust himself into her, feeling her tightness collapse around him. In unison, their moans of pleasure echoed all around them. He'd filled her to the hilt, and they both sat motionless for a second, taking in the sensation of finally being united again.

"I'm home," Jacob uttered as he tweaked the nipple of one of her breasts while pushing into her hip, making sure he was as far into her as he could be. She felt better than he remembered, so warm and wet, just for him.

Her hips rolled in an orbit around his cock that signaled her desire for him to get the show on the road, and it didn't take long for him to oblige her. He noticed her pale knuckles from grasping the railing so hard.

He started slowly, not wanting to rush things. With each thrust he could feel her push her ass into him harder and hear her moans getting louder. But it only took her crying out for him to go _Harder, faster, please!_ for him to scrap the whole idea of a gentle fucking.

He watched how her body reacted to his forceful thrusts. He kept ahold of her breast, feeling it bounce with every jolt. He couldn't hear the traffic from the road in the distance or the birds fluttering overhead, but he heard every slap of their skin and every moan that escaped her lips. He could feel the tightness in his balls begin, and he knew it wouldn't be long.

"Ness. Fuck, baby. I'm so close."

"Ah... Jacob... fuck me harder. I'm almost there... ah... harder, baby." Nessie could feel her body succumbing to the magical ways of Jacob's cock. She felt the tightening of her walls, but she needed to be prodded just a tad more. She sat on the precipice of ecstasy and wanted to jump in head first in order to reach her own personal orgasmic nirvana.

The hand that had the death grip on her tit finally released itself from its play toy and trailed down her to stomach, and then down further. Jacob could feel himself becoming unwound with each rough movement in and out of her hot core. He knew he would lose it as soon as she began feeling it for herself. Hearing her come would no doubt cause him to as well.

It took no time for him to find her swollen flesh and begin rubbing it in intervals much quicker than his movements in and out of her.

"Oh, my... God... Jacob... that's it, baby... more..." She steadied herself with one hand on the rail while she moved the other one between her legs, passing the pleasure zone where his fingers caressed her clit. She reached the bottom of his shaft and began stroking him there, playing.

"You're fucking killing me," he moaned as she found her destination. He felt her hands fondle his balls and then rub the sensitive skin right below them.

"Should I stop?" she questioned, rolling them around again.

"Fuck no... not ever... God, baby..." His voice came out in broken intervals as his body seized, feeling the tightness at the base of his shaft. "I'm... about... to..."

"Me... too, baby. Touch me. Make me come, Jacob," she breathed amongst her tiny moans. His pace never relented, ensuring her release.

Before he knew it, he was collapsing on her, pulling her body flush with his. He couldn't catch his breath, and he didn't know how on earth he was still standing. Both of them reached their climax almost simultaneously. She could feel his release filling her as her walls kept blissfully milking him.

"I missed you so fucking much, baby. Don't ever leave me again, please. It'll kill me." His hands wrapped around her body, making her feel secure out here in the open. She rested her head back on his shoulder, feeling completely consumed by him.

Her breaths were quick, and her body felt limp from the afterglow of making love with Jacob.

"I won't, my Jacob. I'm here... as long as you'll have me."

They stood for a moment more in their embrace, exhausted from their love making. Nessie smiled at the content and happy feelings. Only Jacob could make her feel this way.

"What we did just now was nice, huh?" He must have noticed the look of satisfaction on her face.

"God, yes... but I have one question for you."

"What would that be?" he responded, rubbing her still-flat stomach with his large hands.

"You aren't done with me yet, are you?" she asked while running her fingers across the goosebumps on his forearm.

"This was only round one, Ness. We have all day and night, don't we?" He pulled up his pants and then opened the front door by giving it a little push and motioned her inside.

"Shall we?" he smiled.

"Yes."

And he shut the door behind them.

~o~O~o~


	34. Let's Get Lost

**Let's Get Lost**

 **"Touch me I'm cold, unable to control,  
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows,  
And tumbling, tumbling. Don't go fascination.**

 **If just for tonight darling. Let's get lost."**

 **~Let's Get Lost by Bat for Lashes with Beck**

Nessie heard the door click behind her, but that was the last trivial noise she remembered before Jacob pressed her body to his. In the quiet, standing in the small entryway of his home, they held on tightly to one another, seeming to celebrate in one embrace the fact that they were no longer apart. Their grip lingered on, as if they had to make up for the times they weren't able to hold on to each other.

The sex on the porch had been desperate and needy. Hard. Quick. Fast. The initial desire to fuck had overtaken over the two of them. Jacob's primal, male instinct to take her became his one and only thought. He'd known he wasn't thinking properly, or with the right brain, for that matter, when he'd started kissing Nessie on the porch.

A few months ago, prim and proper Nessie would never have thought about having sex out in the open, possibly in front of unsuspecting people; she never really thought about having sex at all. She just knew she was waiting...for someone...the right man. Then in walked Jacob Black. Sex with him met and exceeded any expectations she formerly had. Now, being with him was all that mattered, and all she could see was him. The need to make love to him today became immediate, and her desire overtook her senses. Her body craved him, and the only way to get her fix was to have him as soon as possible, any way he wanted.

Now, standing alone, clinging to one another, everything seemed right. The world had gotten back on its axis, and the sun would go back to rising and falling every day. They were together. No one could separate them anymore, not even her father.

"I love you so much," she whispered in his chest, feeling his fingers stroke her wild hair.

He smiled to himself, taking in the sound of her voice as she said those words to him. His mind drifted to the first time they made love and how content he felt after sharing something so sacred with her. That exact feeling of fulfillment had returned, and he hoped that it wouldn't leave anytime soon.

"Ditto," he responded softly into her hair.

Not only did her mind wander to the time when he first said that silly word to her, but she also recalled how it felt to have him on top of her, feeling him ready to make love to her for the first time. Chills covered her body at the memory of that night. How he'd taken her breath away and made her awkward body feel sexy still blew her mind.

She sighed, remembering that she'd been slightly agitated by his seemingly careless way to say I love you.

"Is that a good sigh?" Jacob questioned, hoping she was happy as he felt.

"It is," she breathed, thinking about how that single word was the most beautiful sound she'd heard in a long time. She'd rather hear one ditto than a thousand I love you's from him because it was distinctly Jacob. She wanted nothing less.

Her lips whispered unintelligible things as she trailed them up his chest, leaving soft kisses on the cotton of his t-shirt along the way. She murmured I love you over and over again as she found her way to his Adam's apple, where she could feel him swallow the lump he must have had in his throat. She heard him exhale and relax even more as her tongue lightly brushed the skin in the territory of his neck that she'd branded.

"You smell good. Just the way I remember," she whispered.

He never understood how a guy could smell good to any woman. From personal experience, he himself was always sweaty from working out or getting into something grimy at work. He showered with a bar of soap that could take paint off a wall. He couldn't see how that would make his scent pleasing to her, but he didn't care. She liked it, and that's all that mattered.

Now Nessie, on the other hand...she had the market cornered on smelling good. Just inhaling the remnants of the perfume she always wore could make him hard. Her hair didn't smell like flowers or anything typically girly, but it smelled nice-way better than the guys with whom he worked and practiced.

Jacob's head pulled away slightly, only to see her before his lips found hers. He wouldn't let his eyes slip closed, fearing that she might still only be a figment of his imagination. The small of her back was soon pushed into his body with one of his hands, and the other palmed the back of her head, moving it towards him. Pausing for just a moment, the two lovers smiled knowingly at one another.

And then they kissed.

It began slow. Her delicate lips parted for him, and she felt his tongue join with hers. The pit of her stomach began to awaken again, responding to him. The way his tongue gently glided around her mouth with ease, and the way his kiss would deepen with each taste, caused her to become more aggressive with her appetite for him. Pretty soon, kissing wouldn't be enough.

Nessie began to back up, trying to take Jacob with her as she tried to make her way to his room. He'd said he wasn't finished with her, and God, she couldn't wait to see what he had planned.

Pulling him proved to be no easy task, as his feet seemed firmly planted on the linoleum.

"Aren't you coming with me?" she whimpered like a child who wasn't getting her way.

"I am...just gotta call work first. They need to know that I won't be there. I'll meet you in my room," he said while placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Don't take too long," she pouted, suddenly feeling warm fluids run down her leg. She realized she needed to clean up a bit anyway, so the short break would be welcomed. Reluctantly, the two separated, but only did so because they knew they'd get to be close to one another soon.

It didn't take long for Nessie to emerge from the bathroom, feeling her anticipation begin to build again upon making her way to his room. Knowing she had him today, tonight...forever made her feel complete once again, and her legs went a little wobbly. She wondered if that vertigo feeling from just thinking about Jacob would ever go away. Nessie shook her head and smiled, realizing that it never would.

She could still hear Jacob in the hallway on the old-fashioned phone that was still connected to the wall, and she silently slipped into the room that held so many memories for her. She'd lost her virginity here, and her love affair with Jacob had never been the same from that point on. Making love to him always felt right, despite all the trouble being with him had caused.

Trailing her hands along the dusty dresser, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and laughed. She was naked except for her t-shirt, and her bed-head look had gotten worse. She slipped the thin cotton over her head, throwing the shirt on the floor along with Jacob's clothes he'd strewn about. Trying to tame her hair, she ran her fingers through the tangles. She blew out a breath of frustration that sent a ringlet flying upwards and realized it was no use to try and fix herself up. At least Jacob seemed to like her this way.

She felt chilly walking around completely naked in the old drafty house, and she spied a long-sleeved, button-up shirt of Jacob's hanging on a chair in the corner. She grabbed it quickly, eager to inhale the scent of him that still lingered on the shirt. After a few more deep breaths of reconnecting with his smell, she walked around the edge of his bed while putting on the oversized shirt, wrapping it tightly around her.

Nessie sat on the bed, close to his nightstand, noticing the knick-knacks he had piled on it. Pictures of family, a lamp, pocket change, among a few other thousand things. Then she noticed, hiding behind random pieces of paper, a picture of her. She pulled it from underneath the pile and realized it was the picture that Claire had taken the day of the fish fry. She remembered feeling so happy. A huge smile erupted on her face because she finally felt that way again, and it had been so long since she felt anything but pain. Then her heart began to ache for her only girlfriend. She missed Claire terribly, and Nessie wondered how she would even begin to make amends with her. Would Claire even want to have Nessie back in her life?

She set the picture down, trying to push her thoughts of Claire away. She decided to lay down until a small box wrapped with Christmas paper and a red bow caught her eye. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she couldn't help but retrieve it from its hiding spot to get a closer look.

It was obviously wrapped by someone who didn't know how to wrap, but for some reason, she thought it was beautiful anyway. Then she saw the small tag with her name in his handwriting, and her hands began to tremble. Her heart began beating like a hammer upon discovering that he'd bought a gift for her. She didn't get to spend Christmas with him, and yet, he still thought of her enough to get her something. The pains of guilt seem to override the dulling pain that lingered from her fall on the stairs. She couldn't distinguish the two pains from one another. She once again became cognizant of the fact that she didn't deserve him.

"You can open it, if you want." His voice came from behind, startling her and making her jump.

Nessie didn't know he'd entered the room and became embarrassed that he'd caught her snooping.

"I just saw the box on your night stand...I can't believe you bought this...for me? Even after I..." Even after I left you, she finished in her head, unable to say it aloud.

"I didn't buy it, so don't worry about that part," he confessed. He walked over to the bed and sat beside her, making it shift when he did. "It was the only thing I could do on Christmas day. I missed you too much, and this gift was the only thing that made me feel a little better."

Her hand reached out to his, and her finger softly brushed along his warm skin.

"I'm so sorry."

"I know." He paused, squeezing her fingers.

"But don't say that again, okay? It's not your fault. I know you only thought you were helping me." Your father had you so scared that you didn't even dare question his authority, Jacob thought to himself. He didn't need to mention her father again. For one, he didn't want to upset her, and two, he just didn't want to think about the man.

"I don't know how to make it up to you..."

"You don't have to, baby. Can't you see that? I love you. That's it. We're together, and nothing can change that."

Without warning, the wetness from unexpected tears ran down her cheeks. Stupid hormones, she thought to herself. Already emotional, she realized that adding a baby into the equation would mean she would be a blubbering idiot from here on out. He pulled her closer to him, leaving no space between them. Nessie didn't want to look at him and show him the tears, but when she felt his thumb gently brush away one on her cheekbone, she realized hiding anything from him was impossible. She couldn't let Jacob be in the dark any longer about the baby. He deserved to know.

"Um, Jacob?"

She felt a soft kiss on her temple. "Mmm-hmm" he answered, blissfully unaware of the bombshell she was about to drop.

"I lied to you..."

His lips pulled away from her head.

"About what?" he questioned, frightened that she was going to take back her decision to stay with him.

"...when I told you I was on the pill. I lied to you. I'm not." Her heart rate increased at the fear she felt. The last thing she needed was for him to walk out of her life. That's what Dad did to Mom, right? she thought.

But Jacob isn't my father, she reminded herself, which gave her the courage to go on.

"Okay...you aren't on the pill. And?" Jacob wasn't connecting the dots.

Nessie felt her fingers fly into her hair and her brow furrow, the tell-tale signs of her nervousness and worry.

"God, Jacob. I'm so scared."

"What is it, baby? I can't help you if you aren't going to tell me what it is. It can't be that bad..." he said. His optimism comforted her a bit, just like the strong hold of his embrace at that very moment.

"Yes, it can, Jacob."

"Then talk to me."

She turned to face him, took a deep breath, and began.

"I've been sick a lot. Throwing up all the time and not eating. I thought the cause of it was what had happened between you and me, but Alice and Rose told me otherwise and made me take a test..." Her words came so fast that Jacob could barely understand them. She was about to hyperventilate and had to pause to compose herself. The crying didn't stop either.

"Test? What test?" Jacob's mind thought about her coursework and wondered what taking a test had to do with her being so upset right now.

"A...a pregnancy test."

The air was sucked out of the room. Nessie didn't move, too afraid of his reaction. Jacob sat motionless.

"It was positive, Jacob. I'm pr-...I mean, we're pregnant." Only a few seconds passed, though they felt like years. Jacob was first to speak, unable to take the sounds of her weeping.

"Come here," he whispered, pulling her onto his lap, making her straddle him. It wasn't sexual; he just needed to be closer to her. Jacob wrapped his arms around her and felt her head hide in his shoulder, where he listened to her cry. Her quiet sobs killed him; he hated for her to be upset.

"Shhhh. It's okay...it's going to be all right." His hands stroked her back and hair while he let her release her emotions. He wasn't sure he believed his own words, but he couldn't show any doubt here with her, not when she was so distressed.

A few minutes passed slowly, and he held her tightly, trying to swish around in his head the news she'd told him. A baby, he thought to himself. She's having my baby.

She moved her head out of the protection of his body when she heard him say that it would be okay.

"How can it be okay, Jacob? My father will have nothing to do with us when he finds out, so forget about money. I'm nineteen; you're twenty one. You just started school and football, and you have to take care of Billy. What about him? And where will I live? We have no money. Rent isn't cheap. You know I can't go home..." Her fast chatter was soon interrupted by a kiss.

A gentle, passionate kiss. He waited for her to relax before he pulled away to look at her, forcing her to cast her attention on him.

"Hey, we have each other, don't we?"

She thought for a moment. "Well, yes...but love doesn't pay the bills and buy baby stuff and pay for doctor visits and..."

"My mom and dad were eighteen when they married, and they had my sisters not too long after that. Twins, no less. It wasn't easy, but they made it work. Besides, where I come from, Ness, this won't just be our baby. It'll be the whole tribe's baby, and we won't be alone. That's just the way it works," Jacob reassured.

"They'll be okay with me, too?" she questioned.

"Why wouldn't they? You're mine," he declared.

She grinned. "Yours always...but will they see it that way?" she replied, still unsure of herself.

"Ness, I'm practically chief of this tribe anyway, so they kind of have to accept it."

"You're the chief? You still have those?"

"Well, sure. My dad is in charge now, but there'll be a day when I take over. We aren't rich in money out here, but we make up for it in the way we care for each other. We would fit right in...that is, if you want to live here."

Her eyes met his with a look of real sincerity. "I would want nothing more than that."

Her smile increased watching his expression do the same.

"I think I'll enjoy raising our baby out here," she grinned.

"I know I will."

Their breathing became the only noise to be heard in the otherwise quiet room. Hints of the early evening began to cast shadows on the wall through the lone window of Jacob's room. A light pitter-patter of rain started to fall, and the drops seemed to land in a rhythm to their breathing.

Jacob picked up the box that had been cast aside and nudged Nessie away enough to place it in front of her.

"Now will you open it?" he coaxed, hoping the gift would lift her spirits. They were having a baby together, which wasn't a death sentence. They hadn't planned for it, but they never planned on falling in love either.

He loved Nessie more than life itself, and this baby was just coming a little sooner than he had planned. In his head, one day, they'd be married with a whole house full of kids running around wreaking havoc anyway. His dream would just come true a little sooner than he'd pictured.

"You sure you want me to open it?" she asked, feeling undeserving of the gift.

"Does it have your name on it?"

She nodded sheepishly. "Well, then open it, dammit," he laughed.

Nessie began to carefully unwrap the crumpled paper to find an old, worn, velvet box underneath. It took her a moment to realize the size of it, and for a moment, she panicked. Small boxes like these contained engagement rings. Would he have already gotten such a thing, even when they were apart? She froze, not sure if she should open it. Nessie knew she would spend forever with him, and now she was pregnant with his child, but was she ready to be his wife?

He seemed to sense her reluctance. "Go ahead. Open it, or I will!"

The lid opened slowly, and her nervousness got the best of her. She didn't look at the contents, only his eyes. Their deep brown color hypnotized her, like always, and made her forget everything she felt at the moment. She seemed to catch a spark in them, coaxing her to look.

"It was my mom's." His voice was laced with respect when he mentioned his mom, and she knew he didn't give this to her frivolously. His soothing voice enticed her to go ahead and look down at the contents. Once she saw what was inside, she forgot about being nervous, for there was the most beautiful silver necklace she had ever seen. Shaped in a large oval and engraved with an intricate floral pattern, the whimsical necklace made her speechless.

"Do you like it?"he asked as she traced the pattern on the necklace with the tip of her fingernail.

"There aren't words, Jacob. It's beautiful. More than beautiful. If there were a better word to use, I'd use it, but I can't think of one. Are you sure you want me to have this? I mean, this must be pretty special to your dad, since it was your mom's."

"Who do you think gave it to me?"

"Oh," she gulped, a little surprised.

"Not long after you and I met, he came to me with it. He told me that he gave this to my mom after they were married. He wanted me to give it to someone that I loved, just like he loved Mom. She never took it off..." He seemed to choke up talking about his mother.

Nessie's hand reached out to his cheek, wishing the love she felt for this man could flow out of her and onto to him. Her fingers stroked his cheek, and she hoped he was able to see what she was feeling. It was too much to be contained in her small frame. If he could see inside her, he would know that there was never a more perfect moment and that any pain she had been through lately had vanished. Complete happiness conquered the sadness, and Jacob had everything to do with it.

"It's a locket, you know," he added. "Open it."

She took her fingernail and carefully unfastened the fragile piece, making sure she didn't break it. A picture of a brown eyed-baby with dark hair rested inside. The finish of the picture had yellowed a bit, but the baby smiled on nonetheless. She would recognize those eyes anywhere.

"You were so adorable," she pointed out.

"Has anything changed?" he bragged.

"You are so conceited."

"No, just pretty sure of myself. You like it. Admit it."

She answered with a kiss on his cheek. "Of course, I do. That's my Jacob." Then her eyes made their way back to the locket. The chain snaked across her fingers, and soon she fiddled with the clasp, needing to wear it.

"Here. Let me do that," he offered, noticing what she wanted. "You know, there's another spot there for a second picture..." he noted, putting the necklace on her as she gathered her hair to allow him access.

"Oh, yeah, there is. I didn't even notice because I just keep looking at that cute baby," she smiled.

"Well, we could put our baby's picture in there." He kissed her neck after putting on her necklace, and his face bloomed into a new smile-one of happiness that she'd never seen before. It made her heart happy.

"It looks beautiful on you," he said in a hushed tone, enjoying the way it hung close to the valley between her breasts.

With his comforting words, the anxiety about the baby was gone. The worry dissipated, and she knew that they could make it through the tough times. She sighed in relief and rested her forehead on his chest, feeling his arms tighten around her.

"I don't deserve you," she mumbled.

"Sure you do. If you want to know the truth, I don't deserve you."

"Come on, what have you done lately that's so bad?" she asked.

"Um, well, I skipped class the other day."

"No! You're so bad!" she joked.

"Making fun of me, huh?" He tickled her on her sides a bit. She flinched, giggling.

"Me? Never." She tried to tickle him back, but his hands intercepted hers by grabbing her wrists, making her unable to move. He was too strong. She let out a displeased grunt and got a wise-ass wink from him in return.

"You are so unfair!" Nessie cried out, giving up trying to pay him back for tickling her.

"Okay. You really want to know the truth?"

Her head nodded.

"Hmm...well, I was arrested a couple of months ago, and then I beat the shit out of Tyler today. How's that for being bad?" He let go of her arms and grabbed her around her waist. Nessie couldn't even process what he'd just told her. "Speaking of bad...I really want to do bad things to you right now."

His grip tightened, sliding her off his lap and moving her body to the bed. He lay on top of her, pressing her legs apart with his knee.

"You look good in my shirt. I especially like the part where you're wearing nothing underneath." His head began to inch closer to hers, wanting her lips on his.

"Wait a minute!" she exclaimed, breaking the kiss before it even happened. "You were what? And you hit whom? When did all this happen?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

She felt his warm breath at her neck, hovering dangerously close to her skin but not touching. Her body started to want him again, and having him so close made it hard to have this conversation. She wasn't angry but wanted to know what the hell happened to land him in jail.

She scooted out from beneath him, which wasn't easy and pushed her way over to his headboard.

"No, I want to know. My legs are closed until you fill me in on what you just told me." Her arms crossed across her chest, hiding her breasts from his view.

"Did you just use sex to make me talk, Ms. Cullen?" He began to crawl over to her on the bed, wearing a smirk.

"Yes...yes, I did," she said, trying to make her voice sound defiant. Her legs folded to the side naturally, and she pulled his shirt across as much of her body as it would allow.

His body came entirely too close for her to stay agitated with him, but she tried to stay strong-that was until his lips found her earlobe, where he swirled his tongue around lightly, causing her to shiver. He hated to admit it, but the little game she was playing with him turned him on. She challenged him, and he was, after all, super competitive. He knew he would win this battle in the end and thoroughly enjoy being the victor.

"If you must know, I was arrested for driving like a maniac trying to get to you the day you headed to California..." His teeth bit her lobe, which made her cry out.

Now she really couldn't speak. "I told off the cop. He didn't care for that either."

"Oh," she whispered, saddened by what had happened to him on that already awful day, but aroused by picturing him angry on his motorcycle.

"Charlie got me out of it. I'm okay...now."

She found her arms being moved to the sides of her body by his, and she gave him no resistance, figuring he had earned the right to have her now. His roaming fingers moved the material of his shirt to reveal her body to him again. He stared in awe at her breasts and the way they moved with her heavy breaths. Jacob couldn't resist. His mouth began to make its way to her nipple while squeezing her hip gently in his hand.

She hissed when his tongue swirled around, causing her nipple to harden, as it always did. She leaned her head back and enjoyed the feeling of his powerful tongue.

He paused, making her look at him.

"I beat the shit out of Tyler because he was talking about you in a way I didn't like. He deserved it. Hell, he deserved a whole lot more, but I stopped after one punch."

"Thank you." Her voice held a gratefulness in it for what he had done in her honor. Her hands ran through his hair, and he closed his eyes just to feel her nails rake across his skin. He needed them all over his body, not just there.

"I would do it again."

"I know."

"It makes me mad when anyone else talks about you in a disrespecting way." Jacob's other hand slinked down to her hips and pulled her down so that she lay directly beneath him. Nessie's hands shifted above her head, where she waited to see what he would do next.

He rested between her legs-the holy place she had taunted him with earlier; she opened herself up to him, unable to refuse him.

"No one else can even talk about fucking you. It makes me angrier than I've ever been." His fingers roamed down from her stomach to the inside of her thigh at a tortuously slow pace. He listened to her breathing and knew she enjoyed it.

"Only I can touch you here." Jacob maneuvered his hand from her thigh to her pussy. He ran his fingers up and down her folds. His possessive side was turning her on and caused the wetness he felt as he touched her. "No one else can hear your moans or watch your body turn pink after I make you come."

Her back arched when she felt a finger enter her, playfully moving in and out. His skilled finger caused her hips to rise and fall with his motions. It wouldn't take long for her to find release, but then he removed his finger all too soon.

Her eyes opened, knowing he wasn't done but still disappointed. However, she became even more turned on by the smirk he wore knowing he could send her body into oblivion with his touches. Jacob still hovered above her, keeping his body weight off her. She then witnessed him take the finger that had been inside her and bring it to his mouth. Jacob tasted it, taking his time reveling in her flavor.

"No one can taste you but me. I get pissed when other guys want what's mine," he growled.

A moan escaped her mouth as she watched him lick his finger. His tongue teased her as it finished licking her juices. Her core throbbed, knowing how good his tongue felt on her. Wanting him had never been so intense.

"Do you want more, baby?"

"Yes," she answered breathlessly.

"I knew you couldn't say no." His cocky voice echoed in her ears. She wanted him, and part of her wanted him to take her right then, but the other part of her wanted to play with him and have fun. She wanted to explore his body, taste it and savor it. She wanted to tease him like he'd teased her.

"Will you do something for me?" she asked in her sweet and innocent voice, running her finger from the tip of his nose to his chin.

"Anything."

Without warning, she pushed him off of her, forcing his body to roll over on his back so she could look down on him.

"Is that what you wanted?" he asked, surprised by the sudden change in position, but not displeased; in fact, he liked her this way. His shirt hung loosely from her body, exposing her beautiful form to him. He loved the way she felt on top of him, straddling him and smiling from ear to ear.

"I don't like anyone else touching you either. I get a little angry as well."

"Oh, really?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Mmm-hmm." She reached down to his waist and gathered his shirt into her fists and worked it upwards. "First this needs to go," she told him.

Without any resistance, Jacob helped her take the shirt off.

"I like you without a shirt, too." Nessie moved her body lower and came in direct contact with his dick. He was hard and felt so good through his track pants.

"Hmm, no one else can feel you hard like this, Jacob. Only me. Hm... mm... ah," she hummed and closed her eyes, moving herself back and forth over him, riding him slowly. Nessie's fingers clawed into his tight abdomen, anchoring herself. His hands covered both her breasts, kneading them with the rhythm of her hips.

She watched as his hooded lids closed, growling his enjoyment of the friction. She wanted to keep going; just the feel of him like this would be enough to make her come, but she wanted to show him how it felt to be teased. She meandered her finger down the line between his abs to the happy trail that led her to her Promised Land. Her hands traced the V, and she sighed in contentment.

"Perfection," she whispered, looking up at him. Her hips had stopped their rocking, and she could tell he noticed.

"Don't stop, Ness. God, you feel so good." He thrust his hips up, grinding his dick into her again.

"Patience, my horny grasshopper. Good things come to those who wait." She laughed as she moved down his body, grabbing the waist of his pants and boxers in one grip. She watched his eyes register what she wanted, and he gave her no resistance to taking off his clothes. He realized he could do so much more beautiful damage to her without his clothes on. Resting his hands behind his head, he watched with much joy as she worked his clothes down his legs, raising his hips to help her with her task. He couldn't imagine anything better than a hot red-head in his bed disrobing him and promising good things to come.

After she threw his clothes to the floor, she inched her way between his legs, kissing and scratching her way up his extra sensitive skin. Her back arched like a cat as she took her time moving up his body. He felt her tongue on the back of his knee, which caused him to jerk just a little at the tickling sensation her wet kiss brought. Her hands slowly scratched and rubbed his legs in a way that made him feel like he would come undone, and she hadn't even made it to his dick yet.

Nessie tortured him by going so slowly. Under her tongue, she could feel every bit of muscle constricting under her caresses. She could tell he enjoyed it; he moaned under his breath and wrapped his hands so tightly in the sheets that they nearly ripped.

"You like this?" she asked, straddling his legs and positioning herself in the middle of his body. She took one finger and ran it slowly from the base of his shaft up to the tip and back down again, tormenting him. She had the best view of his dick from her standpoint and couldn't wait to play with him and drive him insane while doing it.

"God, yes! You're touching me, aren't you?" he panted through labored breaths.

"I am. You like to tease me, don't you, Jacob?" She leaned down and let her nipples lightly brush his shaft; her eyes locked onto his painful expression. "You like to play with me and then stop." Nessie bit her lip, watching his dick twitch underneath the brushes from her breasts. Jacob's chest rumbled, and she could feel his desire for her emanating through his gaze.

"Please, Ness," he begged.

Her head tilted downward like she was about to take him in her mouth, but then an evil thought crossed her mind. She flipped her hair behind her, looking at him.

"What do you want, Jacob?" She purposefully licked her lips and smiled at him, knowing she had him right where she wanted. She could feel his body practically trembling in expectancy.

"You," he hissed, sucking in air and tensing his hips, bracing for what he hoped would come. Jacob knew she was teasing him, but he worried this torture would kill him. He'd had no idea how brutal she could be. He needed her sucking and licking him, and he urgently wanted to be thrusting himself into her pretty little mouth.

"You want my mouth...here?" She teased with her finger again, swirling it around on his sensitive tip.

"Fuck, yes...please. I'm begging you," he pleaded again.

Before his body blew like shrapnel across the room, he felt her warm mouth finally engulf his dick and take him fully. He grunted as the feeling of her mouth on his dick overwhelmed him. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, and the image of her bending over him, wearing just his shirt, soon became number one on his top ten list.

One of her hands pumped the base of his shaft while her lips traveled up and down his huge cock, matching the thrusting of his hips. Sporadically, she'd swirl her tongue around his tip, stopping the oral fucking enough to make him acutely aware of her power over him. Having such sexual prowess gave her confidence that she never had before, and being with Jacob was easy. She wanted to fuck him each and every way she could.

Then Nessie felt his hands in her hair, gently urging her to keep going, but her core was on fire, aching to have what her mouth had sampled. As much as she savored his dick in her mouth, she soon needed him inside her, causing her undoing.

Her hand kept stroking him up and down; the wetness from her mouth making it easy to glide back and forth.

"Ahh, baby. Don't stop... you don't know how good you are at that," he groaned.

"Hold on, Jacob," she whispered, not releasing her grip while she changed her position. He watched as she maneuvered her leg across his body, placing her heat directly on top of where her hand kept stimulating him. "I have another idea," she teased. "Do you like it?"

Jacob pushed his hips upward, causing his dick to brush her pussy. "Yes, baby."

Nessie's hand stayed on his cock just long enough to guide him in. She rested herself on top him, taking him fully inside her. Her hands didn't know where to go, but she didn't care because feeling him and having him there made her forget what came next. Her body drew a blank on how to move. It escaped her memory that she had never been in this position with him until she felt his hands on her hips. They began to guide her up and down, setting her mind and body back in sync and then into blissful oblivion.

Once connected, there was no denying the way their bodies naturally moved with one another, like second-nature. Jacob's eyes didn't wander from her-they couldn't. The way she moved mesmerized him. He watched her body take him in over and over again; Nessie leaned on his chest which caused her breasts to tempt him, suspended right in front of him. They were close enough to admire but just out of reach to lick. It was sweet torture, like dangling candy in front of a child, taunting him incessantly. He didn't mind terribly because every few seconds he got to hear her cry out, moaning his name. His dick would be happy to keep fucking her, never finding his own release, so long as he got to hear the beautiful noises that escaped her.

The tension began to reach a fever-pitch inside Jacob, and she sounded as if she were close as well. Trailing one hand down from her hip, he found the one place that would make her come almost instantly at his touch. When his hand reached her clit, he rubbed it in fast strokes.

Her body eased its way upright, giving his hand better access to her, and her eyes closed, knowing it wouldn't be long.

"Harder, baby," she murmured as she quickened her pace, needing him to make her come. Every part of her body screamed to be put out of its happy misery, and her pussy throbbed, ready to collapse all around him. Then his hips pounded harder up into her, obeying her request. He would never deny her anything.

"Ah, Jacob! Ung...that's it," she panted, riding him while listening to the sounds their bodies made joining together.

Jacob's grip on her hip tightened as he felt the pressure building. He couldn't help but grab her and force her body harder onto his dick. The orgasm building in his sack promised to be intense, despite coming just a few minutes earlier. Her tits bounced crazily in the mad rush of skin on skin colliding with one another.

"Fuck!" he yelled.

Too many sensations were overwhelming him all at once. He slowed his thrusts to prolong this euphoric feeling, but then he found himself quickening his pace to finally find the release he wanted.

A guttural moan escaped from deep within his chest, as he came hard inside her. Jacob's hips stilled underneath her, and the tautness of his body began to relax.

His hips didn't still for long because he needed to make sure she finished, and from her screams, he knew it wouldn't be long. Despite being exhausted and weak, he kept pushing himself into her.

Her fingernails dug into his skin when she felt the peak of her orgasm. Her walls clenched and tightened all around him, transporting her body into complete bliss. Nessie soon froze, enjoying the after-shocks her orgasm brought.

She lay exhausted on top of him, placing her head on his chest where she listened to his rapid heart beat.

"That was...was..." Jacob tried to speak, but words didn't come.

"Yes...it was..it was." She couldn't think or talk either.

They lazily laughed, holding each other in their arms. It wasn't long before Nessie heard his heavy breathing, letting her know he had fallen asleep.

She soon fell asleep, too, dreaming of Jacob, their new life together, and the baby she already loved so much.


	35. Lightning Crashes

**"Oh, I feel it comin' back again  
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind  
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again  
I can feel it."**

 **~Lightning Crashes by Live**

a/n I'm heading out of the country soon and won't be able to post (or write) for a while. That's why I've been posting this story quicker lately. Also, there is happily ever after here, but things will get worse before they get better.

~o~

Nessie awakened with a smile on her face for the first time in a long while. She didn't feel disoriented, waking up in a somewhat new place; she knew exactly where she was and didn't want to be anywhere else. Feeling cold, she curled herself up in a little ball, taking all the covers with her as she did. The smell of Jacob's woodsy scent drifted all around her.

Missing the heat that permeated from his body, she reached outwards but didn't feel his presence. Nessie rolled over slowly, hoping to find him to touch him and pull him close. As Nessie moved, she hadn't realized how stiff her body had become overnight. She couldn't move her neck much, and her back ached more than it did yesterday. She chalked it up to a little whiplash that must have developed from her fall down the stairs.

She hadn't exactly been treating her body very well lately either, and that was something that scared her a little. Now that she was carrying a tiny life force, she had to make sure she took better care of herself. Knowing her body would loosen up as she got herself going made her feel a little better. Her focus soon turned to Jacob. _Where could he have gone? Was he up and about?_ she wondered, feeling lonely without him.

She paused, listening to the quiet house. Her heart sank a little knowing that she might be alone. Then she spotted a note on Jacob's pillow that let her know he had gone, and for a moment she panicked, thinking the worst. But her fears were soon relieved when she saw a small, purple flower resting on top of the paper. It was then that she knew his note wouldn't be like hers.

 _Ness,_

 _Had an early class today that I couldn't miss and didn't want to wake you. You need your rest. Be home after football practice. I'll get dinner._

 _My dad's already gone to the community center, so you have the house to yourself. Make yourself at home...breakfast is already on the table for you._

 _Jacob_

 _P.S. Dad said you can stay with us until we can figure something out. He also said that I have to sleep on the couch...I'm still debating that one with him._

 _Don't forget, I love you._

She couldn't stop smiling and read the note repeatedly, loving his words more after every read through. For the first time in her life, she had no clue what the future would hold, and she wasn't scared or worried. Life would come one day at a time, and that's how she would face each day. She'd spent her whole life anxious about the little things, and now that she was pregnant, those little things didn't matter so much anymore. Her thumb and forefinger rubbed the locket that still hung around her neck, making her feel more sure of herself and ready to face what the uncertain future would hold.

She didn't dread leaving home, but she knew it wouldn't be easy, especially after letting her parents know about everything. She needed to call Rose to ask for help in getting some of her stuff from her room at her parent's house. She had no qualms about telling her father goodbye; it was her mother whom she would miss. A small pang hit her chest, thinking about how the two of them had just begun to heal. She hoped they could continue to get to know one another again. Maybe her mother and Grandpa Charlie could talk and forgive as well. They all needed to put the past behind them to heal. There would be a grandchild after all.

Nessie slipped on one of Jacob's t-shirts, so she wouldn't be running around naked in his house. Even though she was by herself, she still felt strange doing something like that. She needed to shower and let the hot water massage her aching muscles. They seemed to be crying out in pain when she decided to get up out of bed.

It took awhile for the hot water to kick in, so she shivered a while in the shower as she waited. If Jacob were here, his body would keep her warm. He never had a problem keeping her from freezing. As she watched the water fall, she couldn't help but think about how she had made love to Jacob in the shower before the break up and how amazing he felt in the middle of her emotional thunderstorm. Her eyes closed as she thought about the way he held her so tightly as she wrapped her body around his. She smiled her crooked smile, remembering how he felt when he finally filled her completely, ready to make love to her right then and there. That had to have been the night their baby was conceived.

The water soon turned warm, and she stepped in, letting it cascade down her body. Her hands travelled up the smoothness of her wet skin, imagining that night. A sigh escaped her lips as she remembered the way he felt and how his touches were sheer pleasure. Without thinking, a hand meandered to her breast, mimicking his hands. Although hers didn't compare to what his hands could do, she still continued to feel the softness of her breast. Her need for Jacob began to heighten, and she wondered how long he would be gone. The beginnings of pleasure were abruptly interrupted by a crippling pain.

"Owww! Ahhhh!," she screamed suddenly, taken aback by a cramp that made her double over. Her eyes widened as the pain shot through her, and she grasped for the side of the tub, so she wouldn't fall down. Deep calming breaths were her only way to keep from hyperventilating.

It didn't take long for the ache to go away, but her lustful thoughts of Jacob stopped and her need for him changed. She needed him here to take care of her, but she couldn't make him do that. She decided that she just needed to keep her activity at a minimum and rest for most of the day on the couch, watching any old movie that happened to be on. Nessie felt tired and knew Jacob would want her to take it easy. Getting over her injuries from yesterday wouldn't be simple

She gingerly moved about and dressed in her old pajamas, making her way to the kitchen. The only pain she felt at that moment came from the low rumble in her empty stomach. The note had said breakfast was ready for her, and she smiled broadly when she saw what Jacob had prepared.

Sitting on the table was a bowl full of Cocoa Puffs.

"What would I do without you, Jacob?" she whispered to herself, smiling at her special meal.

~~o~O~o~

The tiny desk bounced from the force of his knee that couldn't quit its nervous twitch. Each passing second proved slower than the last, and this history professor droned on and on in his monotone voice about the Ottoman Empire, which Jacob couldn't care less about.

He had to come to class because his scholarship required it. Passing grades and making his classes were a few things his coach was adamant on happening. Coach Rassmussen didn't like his players to get the reputation of being dumb jocks, especially not at a prestigious private university like U of F. If it weren't for those requirements, he wouldn't be here.

His thoughts on the subject matter were futile because all he could think about was Nessie, sleeping in his bed, and what he could be doing to her in that bed. He couldn't let his mind drift to that part too much because he really didn't want to walk around with a massive erection on campus; he already drew enough attention. He had to make it through another class and then practice. Calling her soon would be the only thing to help him get through the day.

Taking his gaze from the window, he suddenly noticed everyone in the class leaving. He'd missed the end of the lecture, too preoccupied with thoughts of her. Did she have any idea what she did to him?

His phone rang as soon as he stepped outside, but it wasn't the person he'd hoped it would be.

"Hey, Quil. What's up?" he answered, making his way across campus.

"Not much, bro. Um, I need to borrow some of your tools. Gotta fix something on Claire's car. I can't have her driving around with a brake problem, you know." Jacob took note of how grown up Quil sounded, taking care of someone other than himself. Claire had been the best thing to happen to that boy.

"Yeah. Go ahead. I haven't had time to be in the garage at home lately anyway, so borrow whatever you need."

"Thanks, man...hey, don't take this the wrong way, but the guys and I, um, w-well...w-we "

"Spit it out, dude," Jacob guffawed at his friend's stuttering.

"Shit...It's just that...We all miss seeing you around. Don't laugh at me telling you this, okay. I'll deny everything," Quil defended himself before Jacob could say anything in response.

Jacob knew his buddies missed him because he felt the same way. After Nessie left, he put all his time and energy into being at the shop, working over-time as much as he could. Then when he wasn't there, the gym became his second home. He trained hard in order to get ready for off-season football. Hanging out with his buddies fell by the wayside. Now that things were getting back to normal, he felt he could let himself have fun again.

"Tell me you'll come out with us this Friday. You know, the usual spot with the usual people and the usual bull shit and all the fuckery that goes along with it," Quil suggested.

"Sure, sure. I'll be there. I've got a lot to tell you, man," Jacob said in a hushed tone. _Ness is back, pregnant, and living with me right now..._ But that conversation would have to be in another time and place. He couldn't tell his best friend on the phone how much his life had changed in twenty four hours. Glancing at his watch, he realized that he wouldn't have time to talk anyhow.

"Shit, I gotta get to my next class. I'm running a little late, but we'll catch up Friday." He hung up, picking up his stride.

He had no time to call Nessie now. He'd have to wait again.

~o~O~o~

 _Bang, bang, bang!_

Nessie's tried to open her eyes, but sleep kept calling her back into dreamland.

 _Bang, bang, bang!_

The intrusive noise kept pulling her from her dream of nothing in particular, but it was peaceful and happy; she didn't feel like leaving. The banging continued, and she soon began to open her eyes and wake up, knowing her dreams would have to wait. She glanced around the living room, listening for the offensive noise again. She saw a movie she didn't recognize on the TV, and the last thing she remembered was turning on The Quiet Man on the classic movie channel. She didn't even get to watch any of it, falling asleep early on.

 _Bang, bang, bang!_

"Billy! Billy!"

Nessie heard a man's voice screaming from the outside. It didn't seem like whomever it was would go away, so she got up from the couch in an attempt to answer the door. A wave of nausea swept over her, and she choked back the need to throw up when she stood. Her back began to ache again, but she managed to make it across the floor going at a snail's pace.

She peeked through the diamond-shaped window in the old door and saw Quil pacing back and forth, ranting about not being able to get in the garage.

Nessie opened the door reluctantly, not sure how Jacob's best friend would take finding her here in his house. After what she'd done to Jacob, she knew all of his friends must hate her. Not wanting to be on the receiving end of that hate, she didn't want to let him in, but he seemed in desperate need of something.

The ranting abruptly stopped when he laid eyes upon the girl who answered the door.

"Um...Hi, Quil. How are you?" she asked timidly, trying not to show her shame On top of that, the nausea hadn't gone away yet, and she was having a hard time standing.

Jacob's friend stood unmoving, obviously dumbfounded over her presence.

"Wow! It's you," he said in amazement.

"Yep, it's me," she answered back, trying to smile. "Do you, uh, want to come in? Jacob's not here and neither is Billy."

"Well, I just needed to get in the garage, and the son-of-a-bi-, er, I mean son-of-a-gun locked it up on me."

Nessie laughed at his need to correct his cursing in front of her. She'd been around Jacob and his friends enough to know that swearing just happened, and she could never be offended by it. "He keeps the keys over-" Quil's words were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey, babe! What's taking you so long?" an agitated Claire called out as she bounded up the steps, only to come screeching to a stop when she saw Nessie, standing in Jacob's house. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Nessie didn't know what to say. She knew she deserved anything Claire wanted to say to her because she'd been a shitty friend. No one deserved what she'd done, and she wouldn't blame Claire for chewing her ass out.

Claire stood behind Quil, glaring at her former best friend, and Nessie could feel the burn of her stare.

"I know you don't want to hear anything that I have to say, but I want to explain everything. Please come in and talk, Claire...please?" Nessie ending her plea as a question, wanting it to be Claire's decision to come in. If she could just get her friend to listen to her story, then maybe she wouldn't want to punch Nessie in the face.

"Why would I want to talk to you? You disappeared, not contacting anybody. Not even me. I thought we were friends. I can't even describe what you did to Jacob, so, um, no...don't think I'll be talking to your scrawny little ass right now."

Nessie looked back into the living room, hearing a happy tune from the old musical on the television, mocking her mood. She knew Claire was right, and she'd asked too much of her too soon. Hopefully Claire would let her back into her life soon.

"I know I deserved-" Nessie clenched the door because another debilitating cramp washed through her body. Her legs began to give out, but somehow she stumbled to Billy's easy chair.

The pain of Claire's animosity shot through her, but she knew what was happening wasn't just because of her friend's anger. She hunched over in the chair, grabbing her knees and resting her head on her lap. Her eyes clenched with the pain that wasn't subsiding. What was happening to her? She knew this wasn't good and feared for her baby.

Her mind flashed to the nights she drank herself into a stupor, trying to forget the loss of Jacob. She'd only done that a few times, but she had still drank, not knowing she was pregnant. Then she thought about all the weight she'd lost while she couldn't bring herself to eat. And then there was the sex, the hard, rough fucking they had on the porch. Could it hurt the baby? She didn't have a clue, and she'd never had to think about something like that before. Then she remembered her fall, her stupid, clumsy fall down the stairs at Aunt Alice's house, and she was suddenly frightened.

Quil forgot about getting the keys and knelt down by Nessie. She couldn't see him, but she could hear his breathing.

"Nessie! Nessie, are you okay?"

She could sense the fear in his voice over not knowing what was going on.

She then heard another set of reluctant footsteps come towards her.

"Nessie?" The airy voice of Claire drifted through the house.

"I just need to get to the bathroom. I think I just need to vomit, and I'll be okay." Her usual routine in the mornings consisted of being near the toilet just to make sure she wouldn't be too far away when the need to throw up came.

"Okay, I'm gonna help you up. Come on, babe, help me," he requested of Claire.

The threesome made their way to the bathroom where Nessie slumped to the floor, not feeling the cramp anymore but not feeling well either. Quil stood outside the door and turned away to give Nessie her privacy, but Claire disregarded the privacy thing, wanting to make sure her friend was okay.

"Nessie, what's going on?" Claire questioned, obviously concerned. It seemed that her anger had gone, and genuine concern filled her voice.

"I don't know...I'm scared." That was all she could say before she heard Claire's next words.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Quil, go get Jacob."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me why. Just do it...now!" she ordered.

Nessie saw a fear in her friend's eyes when she looked up at Claire. She soon understood why she'd suddenly yelled at her boyfriend the way she had.

She could feel the warmth of the blood pool between her legs and saw Claire fall to the floor, taking Nessie's hand tightly in hers.

~o~O~o~

Please, please, please don't hate me. We're going to see the interaction between father and daughter in the next chapter, and what's happening to Nessie right now will play a huge role in how she deals with Edward.

I'm bracing for the rotten fruit you want to throw at me...Reviews makes me smile, even if you want to curse me out.


	36. No more I Love Yous

**"No more I love you's.**

 **The language is leaving me.  
No more I love you's.  
Changes are shifting outside the world."**

 _ **No More I Love You's**_ **by Annie Lennox**

My sweet readers, shit is about to go down...

~o~

Nessie opened her eyes. Her room was too still and too quiet, and her confused mind tried to figure out where she was. In her grogginess, she happened to glance at the unfamiliar clock on the wall.

2:33

It was early morning. She knew that from the darkness outside the window. As she stared into the black, a spark of reality began to flicker.

 _Oh my, God._

Nessie had remembered.

She gasped in horror because what had happened was real and not just a bad dream. Her arms folded across her chest, and the tears began to fall.

Through her quiet sobs, she surveyed the hospital room and saw Jacob somehow asleep in the tiny chair. He looked uncomfortable, but yet his deep breathing let her know he was sound asleep in dreamland.

She wished she could go back and retreat to her dreams; they weren't painful. The past sixteen hours had been a nightmare, but she could only remember bits and pieces of how it had all begun. The drama had played out like a soap opera right in front of her. She remembered the fight; that was still very vivid. It was everything else leading up to the argument that was hard to figure out.

She placed her head on her uncomfortable pillow and lay with her back to Jacob, staring blankly at the wall. She tried not to think about it and hoped to go back to sleep, but her mind had another agenda. Nessie couldn't shut it off, and it was flashing images she didn't want.

Horrible images that she wanted to forget.

It was like a blur, a whirlwind sweeping through the shadows.

She flinched because the unwanted memories felt like a knife stabbing her in the gut, slowly torturing her, never retreating.

The stabbing feeling hurt worse than anything she had ever experienced, teasing and mocking the empty womb that had held a little life not that long ago.

A life she'd only known about for a little more than a day. A baby she loved and wanted. Now it was gone.

And so was Nessie.

She thought back, trying to feel anything other than an overwhelming sadness but couldn't. Then her mind started playing the movie of her pain without her permission. She was forced to sit and watch it all again...

~o~

"How far along are you?" one of the EMTs asked when they arrived at the house.

Nessie couldn't answer. "I don't know."

"Have you had any prenatal care?" the woman in the blue-collared shirt asked as she placed an oxygen mask on Nessie's mouth.

She shook her head no and saw a look of exasperation from the person sworn to help her.

Nessie defiantly took off the mask and practically spat out her next sentence.

"I just found out yesterday. Don't judge me. Just save my baby." She was in no mood for condescending people as she sat in a pool of her own blood. Her tolerance and patience were on a short string at the moment.

Nessie put the mask back on her face and took a deep breath. _Bitch_ , she thought to herself.

She got no response from the woman; her arm was simply pulled from her side as the woman moved to check her blood pressure.

"Her bp is 90 over 60," Nessie heard as she began to feel weaker.

"Can we get going, please? I need to get my friend to the hospital like ten minutes ago." She'd heard Claire say before her eyes felt like there were weights attached to them.

Nessie didn't really remember when she blacked out, but fading into the blackness comforted her.

The next thing she remembered was awakening in a bright, sterile room, hearing the words "No fetal heartbeat." She felt a cool gel on her stomach and someone in blue scrubs rubbing some contraption over it.

"We need to get a sonogram to determine..." The person who rubbed the device over her belly noticed that Nessie was awake. "Oh, hi, Ms. Cullen. Glad you've joined us. We just need to check on the baby. We aren't picking up the heart beat, so we need to do some further tests. Do you understand?"

She looked at the person attempting to explain things to her. She nodded a _yes_ as if she understood, but she really didn't. She couldn't understand what was happening or where she was for that matter.

Blurriness surrounded her vision again, and a haze seeped into the room. Her body began to feel tight and rigid.

She couldn't stop from closing her eyes and retreating back into her subconsciousness, but she didn't mind because it was much safer there.

Later she remembered coming to in another room but decided against opening her eyes. She felt a hand squeezing hers tightly. She knew Claire was still with her. It was the only thing that gave her any comfort. Any contempt her friend held for Nessie seemed to be gone. Petty things like grudges and hurt feelings went by the wayside in times like these.

"No. I don't think she wants her grandfather or her father here and on her case, especially her father," she heard Claire explain.

"I understand, but they need to know. They're working today, so it wouldn't be hard to go and get them," an aggravated man said.

"No, I don't think you understand, Nurse Nancy. You're not to bring either of them in here until she says it's okay," Claire shot back.

Nessie finally opened her eyes to see a little man trying to reason with Claire. He had no idea that once Claire's mind was made up, there was no swaying her.

"Who are you, and what is your relation with the patient, anyway?" the same man asked petulantly.

"Rick, just let her be. Just because you're up Dr. Eddie's ass all the time doesn't mean you need to go run to him every time you need to brown nose more," a dark-haired woman with a don't-fuck-with-me attitude stated as she walked in the small examination room.

"I hate working shifts with you, Teresa. You're such a bitch," Nurse Rick spewed, annoyed.

"The feeling's mutual. Now go be useful, and we won't get her father until she's ready...got it?"

Rick didn't answer, leaving in a huff.

"Ms. Cullen, as much as I disagree with Nurse Rick and his horrible bedside manner, I do know that we only allow family back here with the patients. So this young lady next to you would be your..." It took just a moment to realize what the nurse was trying to do.

"... _Sister_?" Nessie guessed.

"Great. Your _sister_ can be here and help you with some of the decisions that need to be made. Is the father around?" Nurse Teresa asked.

Nessie looked to Claire for the answer. All she knew was that Quil had left to go get him.

"Not yet, but he will be soon," Claire answered for her. Her friend brushed the hair from her forehead and tucked it gently behind her while whispering, "He's coming. Don't worry, Renesmee. Your Jacob will be here."

The tragedy of the moment had been lessened by her friend's care. Nessie felt protected and safe with Claire at her side. Not only had she kept the nurse from getting her father and grandfather, she had never left her side from the moment this whole mess had begun.

The two young women watched as Teresa repositioned the glasses on her nose and saw her hesitate, obviously not wanting to continue the difficult conversation about the baby.

"Well, Ms. Cullen," Teresa cleared her throat, "we have some decisions to make. Are you ready to discuss them?" She felt Claire's hand squeezing hers.

The next few moments were hazy, all blending into one another; she was unsure what happened and the order in which it did. She just knew she heard the term d & c and cringed when she heard the words _dilation and curettage_. She stopped listening after she heard how they would surgically remove what was once alive in her womb, and her eyes didn't hold back her anguish. Nessie turned her back to Teresa and lay on her pillow, unable to stop crying.

Claire bent over to reassure her.

"You need this procedure, Renesmee. Do you agree to it?" Claire asked, rubbing Nessie's arm. "You won't be alone in this. I'm not leaving, _sister_ ," she added.

"Okay," was all she could muster out of her mouth. It was a horrible thing knowing that they were about to go inside her and scrape away every trace that once was her baby. Jacob's baby. The thought was too much to bear alone. She needed him now.

"Ms. Cullen, do you want to wait for anyone before we start?" she heard Teresa ask softly.

Nessie didn't answer, too overwhelmed by the enormity of what was happening.

"Claire. Get Jacob here. I'll go when he's here," she whispered.

"So she'll have the procedure but only when the father gets here. You got that, Teresa?" Claire added with her signature attitude.

"Of course," Nurse Teresa said before she disappeared behind the curtain.

~o~O~o~

Jacob stirred in the chair that was giving him a crick in his neck. He figured he should've sprawled out on the hospital floor, but he did draw the line at sleeping on a nasty, hard floor. So here he was, this huge man, trying to sleep in the world's tiniest and most uncomfortable chair.

After he cracked his neck and adjusted his body a bit, he noticed that Nessie still slept, and he hoped she would get some much-needed rest. He worried about her, and after today, he wasn't sure if she was going to be okay either.

Jacob knew that he would damn well work hard at making her heal. Shit, he needed healing, too. His heart hurt beyond measure. That had been his baby, too. But she was his main concern; it was Nessie who experienced the cramps, the blood, the surgery...

He was a man and was supposed to be made of unbreakable strength, but right now, he was holding on by a thread. A really thin thread unravelling more with every breath.

Somehow they would make it through this mess.

He started to remember how it all began. He wished his mind could retreat back to a time when he was still ignorant of all of this heartache, but it was too late. His life had been altered forever, and it didn't take long to pinpoint the moment that he knew something had gone terribly wrong...

~o~

"Black, run the dive play again. We're gonna do this one 'til Welch gets his fullback head on straight," the offensive coordinator yelled back from the sidelines.

Jacob nodded and rubbed his hands on the towel that hung from his pants. The cool, late-winter air still wasn't cold enough to keep his hands from sweating. He'd run this play what seemed like a thousand times today and was growing tired.

"I'm gonna make your sorry asses run 'til you puke if I don't see this done right; got it, boys?"

Attempting to make his way to the line, he could faintly hear someone calling his name.

"I Right - 21 Dive..." He began to call the play, but then he heard it again.

"Jake! Jake!"

Jacob turned his head to look across the field to see the direction his name was coming from.

He saw Quil waving his arms like a maniac. Jacob looked at his teammates who were ready to get the play over with, but he couldn't run it, knowing something had to be wrong. Quil was always intruding and butting his nose into Jacob's business without asking, but he sensed something different today. He'd never intentionally interrupt practice for something stupid.

Jacob reluctantly left the huddle and ran to the fence line where Quil stood, taking off his helmet as he ran.

"Black, where the hell do you think you're going?" he heard his coach yell, but Jacob continued making his way to Quil.

"Quil, what the hell man? I'm in the middle of prac-"

"It's Nessie. She's hurt."

Jacob reacted immediately. He jumped the fence without a second thought and ran to Quil's car, not looking back.

~o~

Nessie remembered the commotion of voices outside her room rousing her from her nap. She looked to see Claire waking up in the plastic, mauve chair from the corner of the room. She checked the clock and knew she'd only been asleep for an hour or so, but it had felt like weeks. She heard two voices arguing and soon began to recognize one of them.

"Teresa, you are to let me in that room to see my daughter. You have no right to keep me out," her fathered roared.

"I'm only honoring the request of my patient, and she told me that she doesn't want you in there. Maybe later, Dr. Cullen, but not now."

"Teresa, I'm on my way to being chief of medicine here, and if you desire to have any future with us, you will move and let me see my daughter. Do you understand?" Nessie cringed as she listened to the only way she'd ever know her father to operate: do as I say or else.

Nessie's body tensed when she saw her father's wide eyes as he stormed into the room and surveyed the scene. Nurse Teresa hung back behind him, shaking her head at her patient and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Nessie mouthed back. She should have known better and couldn't blame Teresa. He had threatened her job. What could she do?

Edward looked to Claire, who stared at him in silence. Nessie knew her friend was holding back in not saying anything because if Claire were to let go, then Edward wouldn't know what hit him. Right now, Nessie needed to talk to him, not argue, so less conflict would be best.

"They won't let me look at your chart," he said, standing at the foot of the hospital bed where Nessie lay. He let out a breath of frustration and ran his fingers through his already crazy hair. Nessie thought back and never knew a time when her father's hair wasn't standing on end. Her mother loved it, so he never did it any differently.

He then looked to Claire, glaring as if she were intruding. "Could we speak alone, please?" The please seemed to be added forcefully.

"Sure. Whatever," Claire mumbled, uncoiling her legs from beneath her and pushing herself out of the chair. She'd walked a few steps to Nessie and kissed her forehead. "You're stronger than you think."

With those words, Claire left.

Nessie felt her body clamming up, like it usually did around her father. She almost retreated back to her normal behavior with him. She'd been trained like Pavlov's dog. Her father's anger was like the bell; once she recognized it, she'd been disciplined to submit and do whatever he asked of her.

She no longer felt that way and knew it was time to tell her father goodbye, no matter what the consequences were. To her, she had already paid the ultimate sacrifice...her baby. Even though she had only begun to grieve and soak in what had happened, reality was beginning to sink in.

It hurt beyond measure. Nothing could give her back what she didn't even know she'd wanted. She didn't ask to be pregnant, and she sure as hell wasn't ready to be a mom. But she loved the baby anyway, even if it were just for a day. Nessie wanted that tiny life of hope in her arms.

And now it had been ripped away. She hadn't even had a choice. The baby was gone, and nothing else mattered.

"Please tell me, Nessie, what's going on? Why on earth are you here? This idiot staff wouldn't say a word to me."

Her eyes found his. She would be brave and say what she feared most because saying it out loud would make it real. Nessie had to face reality at some point.

"I've had a miscarriage. They're going to do a..." she held her breath and found the strength to finish her sentence, "...a d & c soon." She wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"What?" Her father gasped in shock. "When did this... how...could...this?" His fingers ran through his hair again, his nervous habit. He collapsed in the chair that Claire had once occupied.

Nessie watched him as he digested the news. His eyes were wide, and they darted around the room, looking at everything except for her. Her eyes never left him. She felt braver with him than she'd ever felt before. She guessed not caring anymore played a big part in her courage.

"When did I lose you, Nessie? We used to be close...Why do things between us have to be so much work?" Edward said through gritted teeth. A small hint of compassion seemed to seep in with his words.

"You lost me a long time ago and just didn't know it. You tried to hold on for too long."

"But I only wanted what was best for you. A father who's experienced life knows these things. I've lived long enough to know what's best."

"Don't you think I can determine some of those things on my own?" she asked.

"You're not old enough to see the way things are in real life. Things are ugly and brutal. I wanted to keep you from those things."

Nessie watched him place his head in his hands; he looked so small.

"I'll be twenty soon, so I'm not a baby anymore. And as for protecting me, you've done a bang-up job. Because of you, I've had to go through hell. You never once asked me what I wanted. You never once let me make a decision for myself. The moment I tried to do so, you made my life miserable."

"I call them like I see them, Nessie. A father can tell what's best for his daughter, and you know Jacob isn't good for you."

"How do you know?"

"For one, he knocked you up. That's beyond irresponsible in my book. And two, he isn't one of us. He knows nothing of our life and the goals we have set for you." Her father stood, pacing back and forth still avoiding looking at her.

"He knows more about me than you ever have or ever will, and I'm glad he's _not one of us_. I don't want that for him...and, Daddy, the way I feel goes way beyond my relationship with Jacob. It's med school, too. That dream was always yours. I never wanted that, and I can't do it anymore."

"You don't mean that, Nessie. Take that back," he demanded, stopping at the foot of her bed.

"I won't. Everything I'm telling you is how I feel, and I can't take it back. I don't want to be a part of a life that is forced. I can't be a robot and pretend to live a perfect life any longer."

"You have no idea what you're saying. It's a good life, Nessie. You're just too young to see it. You have everything you've ever wanted. Why would you throw it all away for...for...someone like him?"

Nessie wrung her hands in the coarse fabric of her hospital blanket. The roughness felt good, reminding her that she could still feel. Then she thought of her mother and the life she'd lived with Edward, and an anger burned inside her. Not only did she hold him responsible for her baby, but also for the hardships of her mother.

"I'm not too young to see what the life you think is so great did to Mom. It turned her into a drunk, which you liked because you had her controlled under your thumb, just like I was. You just didn't like it when I started to go against your wishes."

"Don't bring your mother into this. She's getting better, and you don't need to add to her stress. You need to come home where we can all work on this together." Edward still hadn't look at his daughter.

"I'm not coming home."

"Like hell." His fist hit the wall.

"You can't make me, Dad. I'm not going back to live with you. I can't do it anymore."

"What did I do to deserve such treatment, Nessie?"

"What did you do wrong? You have to ask that fucking question? There's a list a mile long."

"Don't use that language with me, young lady. Do you understand me?""

"I'll use any language I want. Look at me, Dad. Quit avoiding looking at me," she demanded. She wanted for him to see the pain her eyes held. "You can't look at me because you might actually see how much I hurt, and you don't want to face that fact," she challenged.

Nessie watched as his eyes slowly rolled from the floor to where she rested. "You're going to hear what I have to say, and you're not going to like it." She held his gaze and felt a tear run down her cheek.

"I have a dead baby because of you, and I don't care what you have to say anymore. Do _you_ understand _me_?"

The room had become eerily still. Neither one said a word. Edward just stood in apparent disbelief at what his daughter had charged. Never before had she spoken to him in that way. Her voice had finally been heard. Teresa made her way quickly into the room to witness the dead silence and the tension that could be cut with a knife.

"Dr. Cullen, you're obviously upsetting my patient. I could hear your conversation all the way down the hall. I'm going to ask that you leave."

"I'm not leaving my daughter's room. It's my right to be here," he grimaced.

"She's over eighteen and can make her own medical decisions, sir. I am asking you to go. You can wait in the waiting room like everyone else."

Just then, the sound of cleated footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Nessie heard him calling her name at the nurse's station, trying to find her room. It wasn't long before Jacob burst in the room, looking for her.

"Baby, what's going on?" he asked, trying to get to the bed and oblivious to anyone else in the room.

He'd only made it a few steps toward her when his forward motion was cut off by Edward. His hand pushed Jacob's chest backwards, moving him away from his daughter.

"You're not allowed to see her, remember? You've caused enough problems already," Edward hissed.

"She can see me whenever she wants, Mr. Cullen," Jacob said defiantly.

"That's Dr. Cullen to you."

"Okay, Dr. Cullen, you need to get the hell away from me. I'm about two seconds from punching your lights out after the way you treated your own flesh and blood."

"You know nothing about our family," her father responded.

"I think it's _you_ who doesn't know a thing about family. You don't deserve to have her as your daughter after what you made her do. A father would never do that to his child. Now get the hell away from me before they have to call security to keep me from hurting you. I'd definitely enjoy it, but I can't do that to Ness."

Nessie watched in horror as the two men stood chest to chest, neither one willing to back down. Her father stepped towards Jacob, causing her boyfriend to fall back a bit.

"Jacob, if you know what's good for you, you'll leave us alone. If you like your life right now, don't mess with me. I can make things hell for you."

Soon it was Edward retreating backwards as Jacob bowed back up to him.

"Dr. Cullen, I know what you've held over Ness' head to make her leave me. Don't think I don't know."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Edward asked in utter shock, taking another step backwards.

"Yeah, what's he talking about Edward?" a female voice called out.

Edward stumbled a bit as he saw who had entered the room.

"Mom!" Nessie cried out. Bella quickly made her way to her daughter, pushing Edward to the side.

"Oh, my God! My baby. Are you all right? Your grandfather called. We came as fast as we could," Bella cried, taking her daughter's hand; she soon turned her attention to her husband in the middle of the room. "And I'm ready to hear an answer from you, Edward. Why on earth would you talk this way to Jacob?" Edward said nothing.

A maniacal chuckle reverberated around the room, and a pair of heels were heard clicking on the floor. "If I could have a cigarette right now, it would be icing on the cake," a voice cackled.

The red lips were unmistakable, and her presence undeniable. Rose was in the room, and everyone took note. "Bella, Bella, Bella," she said slowly, emphasizing every syllable of her sister-in-law's name. "What do you want to know? I can tell you everything." She smiled like the Cheshire cat as she sat in the chair, crossed her legs, and finished with a flip of her blond hair. "What hasn't your hubby done is the more appropriate question."

"What are you talking about Rose?" Bella asked, confused.

Nessie watched Rose contort her lips into an evil grin, basking in the attention of everyone in the room. She gave a wink to Nessie and began to weave the tale of what Edward had done. She omitted no detail and did her best to put her high school theater training to good use.

When she finished, Bella stared at Edward, not in shock, but in anger.

"Bella, you do understand I did it for her, for her future," her father tried to explain.

"I've nothing to say to you, Edward," her mother whispered, unable to look at him.

Before he could defend himself, his father and father-in-law were suddenly in the room. Nessie tried to remember when they had arrived, but she couldn't figure it out. It was as if they both came in just at the right time to save the day.

"Bella, let's get Nessie home after this...this mess and be a family again. We can do that, right?. Like it used to be," Edward pleaded, trying to save himself.

"I'm not going home," Nessie reminded him.

"Where are you going to live, Nessie? Tell me that. Who on earth are you going to get to take care of you?" he said in a condescending tone. Not sensing how his power had disappeared and not realizing that there were many who would open their homes to her.

"There's room at my house," a gravelly voice interjected. "But only if Nessie wants to come live with me."

Nessie sniffled, trying to stifle her crying.

"I'd like that Grandpa Charlie," a relieved Nessie cried, feeling a small piece of her heart being put back together. Charlie smiled back at her as if to reassure her that all would be okay.

"Now wait a minute-" her father had begun to object but was interrupted.

"Son, I think you need to leave. _Now_. You need to go home and reevaluate a few things," Carlisle said. "Go before I have to take you out myself. I'm not so old that I won't do it."

Edward stood for a moment, looking ready to fight but soon deflated in defeat.

It hadn't take long for the drama to fade. Her father stormed out of the room, knowing his time at running Nessie's life was over. Once he had gone, the family began to hug Nessie and cry with her, grieving over the reason they'd all been called to the hospital on this cold, winter's day.

Nurse Teresa entered the room after everyone left for the waiting area, and reality hit her.

Then everything became a blur again because she knew the time had come, and she had to face the inevitable. She knew Jacob was there, which helped her a bit.

"We're going to take good care of you, Nessie," Teresa told her before she helped wheel her to the operating room.

The last thing she remembered was Jacob telling her he loved her.

Then the darkness seeped in again...

~o~O~o~

Jacob stayed awake, still not able to shut his mind off from recent events, and he tried to be quiet, not wanting to wake her. It was then that he heard a sniffling sound coming from her. Her back was to him, and he watched as her shoulders bounced up and down from her weeping.

She'd been awake the entire time he had.

"Ness, baby?" he quietly called out to her.

She didn't say anything, but he could still hear her sobs. He noticed they'd gotten louder.

Jacob didn't waste time hanging out on the other side of the room. He walked to her bed and lay down beside Nessie, taking her in his arms. He'd never held her tighter.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," he heard her cry.

"Don't apologize to me. You did nothing wrong."

"I lost our..." a sob escaped her. "I lost our baby."

"It's not your fault, Ness. Don't blame yourself, please."

"But I can't stop thinking about everything I could have done..."

"Please, Ness. Please don't think that way."

"How am I going to forget this? How will this ever go away?" she questioned, turning her body to face him.

Jacob took in a breath of the smell of her hair and kissed her forehead. He could feel the wetness forming on his cheeks as he held the person he loved the most in this world.

"It won't ever go away, but we'll get through it."

They both cried, finally falling asleep as they wrapped themselves into one another, holding on to the small hope that they would heal one day.

~o~O~o~


	37. Just Breathe

**"Yes, I understand that every life must end.  
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go.  
Oh, I'm a lucky man, to count on botfh hands the ones I love...  
Stay with me.  
Let's just breathe."**

 _ **Just Breathe**_ **by Pearl Jam**

"Well, hey there, Jake. Come on in. She'll be down in a second," Charlie greeted as he opened the door to their guest. Nessie's grandfather cleared his throat and set down the TV Guide he held in his hands.

Jacob followed him into the living room, taking in the massive size of Charlie's flat-screen television set. No matter how many times he saw the thing, it still surprised him - such a large piece for such a small room. Charlie never needed much, but he made sure he spared no expense on his TV or his fishing equipment, for that matter. The outside of his house needed repainting, and the roof needed to be patched, but those things could wait. The next game in Hi-Def, however, couldn't. Jacob knew his old friend was addicted to all things sports, but he also knew the pretty cheerleaders were easier to ogle on the big-screen, too. Charlie may be old, but he was still a man.

"I was just about to watch a little college basketball. The big tournament is coming soon, and I gotta make sure I'm gonna pick the right teams for the Final Four bracket that I do every year with your dad. Maybe this time I can beat him." Jacob listened to Charlie's raspy laughter.

"Yeah, I don't know how he manages to beat you every year. He doesn't even follow basketball like you do."

"I thought it was beginner's luck, but now that he's won it for years, I'm beginning to think he's got us all fooled," Charlie harrumphed as he sat in his faded, plaid lounge chair. Jacob figured it was just a matter of time before Charlie started patching it together with duct tape because he was never getting rid of that thing.

"Um, Charlie?" Jacob managed to say, wanting to change the subject but not knowing how. He stayed standing; he didn't want to sit down. As a guy, he didn't want things to get too personal. They didn't do that sort of thing. Guys usually made sure all was well and that everyone was okay and didn't want to know anything beyond that. Details were unnecessary and made their minds wander.

But because it was Nessie, the two of them had an unspoken understanding. They would do everything in their power to put her back together, no matter how long it took. They would even talk about it; something guys had a hard time doing.

"Yes, son?"

"How is she today?" he inquired, needing to get a sense of how his girlfriend's well-being measured today. It had been a little over two weeks since the loss of their baby, and times had been tough. Jacob was with her as much as he could be, even staying overnight at her grandpa's house every now and again. Charlie understood and didn't mind. He gave her a safe place to stay, and he allowed Jacob to help heal her in that security.

It pained Jacob to listen to her cry herself to sleep at night, but he couldn't imagine not being there to hold her in his arms until she finally let her body relax and succumb to sleep. He hated to think about the nights he had to be apart from her, like last night.

"Eh, can't really tell, but she seems to be getting better. We actually had a conversation this morning over breakfast. She cooked everything and didn't start a fire like the last time." Charlie shifted himself in his easy chair and rubbed his face to relieve the worry it seemed to hold.

"Good. That's good to hear. Um, do you mind if I stay over after I take her out?" Jacob asked.

"Nah, that's fine. Just no funny business."

"Chief, do you think I would even try to do anything? You know me better than that."

"Yeah, guess I do, son. She's just finally back with me, and I get to look out for her. I want to make sure I don't screw it up. Seems to me that those who were supposed to be looking out for her did a crappy job."

"All I want is what's best for her; you know that," Jacob said.

"I do. You two have suffered more than most married couples do after years of marriage, and you're still wanting to be together. That's saying something. I may not know much, but you're the only thing that's keeping her going." Charlie pointed the remote at the behemoth TV and turned on the game.

"You know, I'm going to marry her one day, Chief," Jacob professed. Charlie cleared his throat and muted the sound; he looked serious, which scared Jacob a bit.

"I've known you all your life, and I know how you were raised. If you didn't want to marry her, I'd be pulling you aside and giving you a good talking to and slapping you upside that thick head of yours."

The two men relaxed a bit and settled into the laughter that just happened to break through the seriousness.

"What's so funny?" a light and sweet voice quietly asked.

Nessie had entered the room unexpectedly, making Jacob and Charlie try and compose themselves. Her hair was pulled in a side braid adorned with a black ribbon. Her dress was casual: skinny jeans, white camisole, black sweater, and black flats. She didn't put much thought into her outfit tonight, but Jacob thought she looked stunning, as usual.

She walked to Jacob and felt herself being pulled into her tower of strength and refuge for a kiss on the head.

"Nothing, Ness. Just talking basketball. Guy stuff, you know," Jacob halfway lied. He didn't want her to know that Charlie and he mostly talked about her. He intertwined his fingers with hers, and his rigid body softened with the feeling of her delicate hand. He wondered how someone so fragile could be so strong. He looked like he was doing well on the outside, but on the inside, he was barely holding it together. The girl next to him was his only reason for not running away or drinking himself into oblivion.

She scrunched up her nose and turned to her grandpa.

"How you two can watch so many sports is beyond me." Her grandfather laughed, turning back on the sound.

"It's just what we do, Ness. You get to watch bad, sappy movies, and we can watch guys run around and chase after a ball for two halves. It's just the way we're built," Jacob explained.

"Speaking of bad, sappy movies, which one are we going to see tonight?" Nessie asked.

"I thought we could see either an action one or a comedy tonight," Jacob suggested, hoping to keep from seeing a chick flick. Not because he didn't want to be the boyfriend being dragged to a girl movie, but because he didn't want her to be any more emotional than she already was. Hell, he didn't need it either. The last thing he wanted was to be caught crying at the local theater after an emotional moment in the movie.

"As long as you don't eat all the popcorn, then I'll watch any movie you want," she joked, which made both Charlie and Jacob smile in relief.

"I'll buy you your own popcorn. How's that?"

"Sounds great," she replied. Nessie smiled her lopsided smile at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. "And don't forget the butter."

~o~O~o~

Jacob listened to the laughter coming from Nessie in the darkened theater, and it made him feel a little bit better; her laughter had been missing for so long. The new Will Ferrell movie was just the right choice. He had no idea what was going on in the plot; he just sat with her close to him and couldn't help but be entertained by her. Watching her look a little bit like the old Nessie was just nice.

Being out of the Cullen house and away from her father was making the biggest difference in her recovery. Not having to stress over him and the things he wanted was good for her. He knew she missed her mom and had heard Charlie mention that Nessie and Bella talked on the phone daily. Bella seemed to be staying sober and truly cared about her daughter's health. Jacob hoped Bella would continue to stay on the straight and narrow. He didn't think Nessie could go through another rock-bottom situation with her mother again. Nessie was just too fragile.

Jacob kept his arm around her and let her have all the popcorn; he was content just having her lean on his body. She was the one who needed to eat; since she had come home from the hospital, she had hardly felt like eating much. But now watching her smiling and shoving the popcorn in her mouth showed him that maybe they'd be all right.

Hopefully the two of them were getting a break in the darkness that had overshadowed them lately. Maybe there was a small ray of light beginning to shine through.

After the movie, Nessie threw the soda cup and popcorn in the trash can and walked through the door Jacob held open for her. She took his hand and walked quietly with him out of the theater into the parking lot. The little things he did for her made her realize how much she loved him. In doing those little things, she could feel that he cared about her in a big way. She didn't want him to put her first in everything he did, but yet she never protested. It felt too good to have someone love her the way Jacob did. Opening a door was a small gesture, but to her, it meant the world.

"So, do you want to go eat anywhere? I'm buying," Jacob asked as he squeezed her hand a bit and then brought it to his lips to kiss.

"You always buy. That's nothing new...and yes, let's get some food. I'm starving. How about the diner? I could use some breakfast for dinner," she suggested, stopping at the door of his dad's truck.

His hand reached to open the door for her, but her body leaned back on the truck, not moving from where she stood. Since the _incident_ , as she liked to call it, he had been careful with her. He would hold her hand and embrace her tightly in his arms at night, but he never went further than that, and she was grateful. She figured he was waiting for her to make any move, not wanting to rush her into anything too soon.

Nessie wasn't ready to be intimate in the sense of making love, but she wanted to kiss him again and feel his hands on her body. Slowly but surely, she would be ready to be with him again; she just needed more time, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, the doctor's orders were at least six weeks before she even could consider having sex. Despite that fact, she still wanted him, and realizing that part about herself helped repair a little piece of her that was lost.

Nessie never doubted that he still desired her, but it felt nice having someone love her for more than just the sex. At this moment, she craved the security of his body pressed against hers and the feel of his wet lips. She yearned to run her fingers through his hair, trying to have a small bit of normalcy again, to be the girl he fell in love with just a few months ago.

When she blocked the car door with her body, he paused for a moment, not realizing what her intentions were. Jacob had been so focused on taking care of her lately that he failed to see the one need he hadn't been fulfilling. He made a point to not let his kisses linger and paid attention to where his hands travelled; he couldn't allow himself to do the things he dreamt of with her, not until she was ready. He had made that promise to himself.

 _For better, for worse_. He'd already decided he would take the vow to heart, even though they weren't married, or close to being engaged. Jacob just knew he was with her for the long haul... _'til death do us part_ , he thought.

And here she was, under the parking-lot light, looking at him with those eyes. The ones that compelled him to her and made him putty in her hands. He looked down at her and watched as her hands meandered up his shirt and went underneath his leather jacket. Just her touch on him made his mind turn to into a jumbled mess.

"Jacob?" she whispered softly, and he knew he was a goner; he would do whatever she wanted when she used that voice.

"Yeah, baby," he answered, taking her chin in his hand. And the goosebumps that always formed under his touch returned.

"Will you kiss me...I mean, _really_ kiss me?" Tilting her head upwards to him, she hoped he would oblige her request.

He had been so hesitant and careful lately, like he would hurt her if he gave her more than a chaste kiss on the cheek. For Nessie, healing would come through Jacob and being desired by him. She thought back to the early part of their relationship, when they couldn't keep themselves away from one another, and she craved a little bit of that feeling tonight.

She didn't get an answer from him in the form of words, but he responded to her request in the best way possible...by giving her what she hungered for.

His mouth engulfed hers gently but with a desperate fervor he had suppressed since the incident, and he hoped he could control himself. To Jacob, one taste of her was never enough, and controlling his dick would be difficult. He would have to do it for her; he'd make sure of it.

Nessie's fingers got to run through his hair once again in the way she had always done before, tugging at it every now and again. With every tug, he would nip her mouth, grazing her with his teeth. His tongue met with hers and quickly reminded her of all the things it could do. Nessie's moan escaped from the back of her throat as he pinned her to the truck, his arms bracing themselves on either side of her head. He seemed to be anchoring himself to kiss her so earnestly.

Jacob could feel his need for her rise, and he knew what he really wanted was impossible. His cock was at full attention, but her well-being meant more to him than fulfilling his need. Another date with his hand would have to work for now.

To get himself under control, he purposely slowed the ministrations of his kisses to a little nibble and pulled away slowly, keeping his cheek pressed to her now red lips. He felt her place one last kiss on that side of his face, and he heard her whisper a soft "thank you." The condensation from their bated breaths floated around them.

"Anytime. All you have to do is ask," he responded and finally got his wits about him to open the door for her. Jacob made his way around to the other side and was greeted by her scooting close to him in the driver seat, which was one of the reasons he like his dad's truck so much. It was cliche: a guy, his girl, and his pick-up truck, but he liked having her right next to him.

They settled into comfortable silence, and Jacob could finally adjust his jeans without it being painful. Walking around with a dick could be really difficult sometimes.

She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and hummed a soft, contented sigh, and Jacob saw a glimpse of the old Nessie. He leaned back to her, smelling her perfume, and kept driving.

The diner wasn't far, but Nessie found herself dozing a bit as the murmur of the road lulled her eyes shut, but soon, a ring from Nessie's phone broke the silence and startled her awake.

"Hello?" she answered, not looking to see who had called. She heard a frantic voice on the other end.

"Jessica?...slow down...what?"

Jacob's eyes tried to focus on the road, but the concerned toned to Nessie's voice alarmed him, making him want to know what was going on.

"He did what? Jessica, where are you? No...no, we're on our way. No, don't go anywhere. Stay put. No...I'm coming! She hung up the phone and placed her hands on the dash in front of her, taking in deep breaths.

"Baby, where do we need to go?" he asked, knowing Jessica needed help.

"She's at her dorm room..." She began to shake, obviously affected by Jessica's call.

"What? Who did what?" Jacob demanded, making a u-turn in the middle of the freeway.

"Tyler..." was all she could say.

"Fucking going to kill him," Jacob managed to say through his gritted teeth.

~o~O~o~

The emergency room in the evening thrived with people bustling all around, but it still was a slow night, and Nessie was thankful for that.

Nessie held Jessica by the waist as they both walked through the brightly lit waiting room of Forks Hospital. A deflated Jessica held onto her friend for dear life, not relenting in the death grip she had on Nessie.

She looked to Jessica, who had hidden her face on Nessie's chest, the light bothering her injured eye.

Nessie had to be strong, but memories of Tyler were hard to erase. She felt like she was reliving the nightmare all over again, except this time, it was worse. Not only was Jessica's eye nearly swollen shut and already purple, but her arms were sore and bruised. No telling what else had been hurt or broken.

All Nessie knew was her friend would never be the same. They had arrived at her dorm room, and Jacob and she finally got her to open the door after ten minutes of convincing her they were there to help. Ashamed and embarrassed didn't seem to cover how Jessica felt. Jacob waited outside while Nessie took her gingerly in her arms and asked her what had happened.

Jessica wouldn't say much, except that Tyler and she had gotten into a heated argument over another girl, and Jessica had threatened to break up with him. Nessie had heard that the two of them were an item, but at the time, she couldn't have cared less about the cheater and whom he dated. Now she knew Jessica wasn't what she seemed and was her friend.

She couldn't turn her back on Jessica in her time of need. Nessie remembered being in Jessica's position, trying to leave someone who always called the shots. She recalled the gash on her head and being thrown to the floor.

When Jessica claimed to have fallen down the stairs on her own, that's when Nessie knew she needed to do something. Jessica's injuries looked much worse than hers ever were, and Nessie couldn't help but feel she was inadvertently responsible. She had done nothing to stop Tyler when she could have, so getting Jessica to the emergency room became her top priority. She had stayed quiet after her own abuse at his hand; she wouldn't allow for him to get away with this again.

They stood at the desk, waiting to check in. Nessie pulled Jessica tighter when she heard her friend's sobs muffled in her shirt. The attendant handed Nessie a clipboard with papers to fill out and instructed her to have a seat and wait.

Waiting would be the worst part. Sitting in the middle of a busy ER, watching people move back and forth didn't help her friend. Some strangers stared a bit longer than would be polite, and it seemed to embarrass Jessica; it was apparent that she didn't want to be noticed by anyone.

"I want to go, Nessie. I'm fine. I can't stand people looking at me," Jessica moaned through her tears.

"No, you aren't all right. I know what a jerk he is, and I didn't do anything about it, but you can. You can't let him do this again." _If I'd taken my friend's advice, you wouldn't be hurt_ , she confessed to herself.

Nessie closed her eyes, humming a soothing tune while Jessica rested in her arms. She didn't notice her father approaching.

"Nessie?" he asked, sounding surprised to see her.

Her eyes shot open, not wanting to see him, much less talk with him. When she saw her father standing in front of her, her body tensed a bit, but she didn't get scared like she usually did. The one thing she did notice was his face didn't look quite so stern and rigid. A small stubble grew on his chiseled chin and face. It was unusual because he was always so clean-shaven.

"Um, hi...Dad," she managed to say to him.

"What in the world is going on? What's wrong with Jessica?" he asked, genuinely concerned. He bent down and softly asked her to look at him. He took her face gently in his hands, inspecting the wounds.

His eyes flinched when he saw the pretty face bruised and swollen.

"Who did this to you, Jessica?" he asked, trailing his hand down her arm, still looking over the other marks on her skin.

Jessica remained silent.

"I'm here to help. I just want to know what happened. Whoever did this to you deserves a beating much worse. Please, Jessica. You can tell me; I promise he won't ever hurt you again," Edward reasoned with the battered girl. Nessie listened to her father and the care he held in his voice for her traumatized friend. She had a pang in her gut, wishing that he could have talked to her in that way more often in her lifetime.

A mumbled barely audible"Tyler" came from her mouth, and Nessie watched her father's calm demeanor change in an instant. It took him a few moments to compose himself, but when he did, he cleared his throat and turned his head to his daughter.

"Did he ever...did he ever _touch_ you in this way?" he asked his daughter. She then watched him run his fingers through his hair.

Nessie just nodded her head yes.

What came next was a flurry of activity. Her father yelled a few orders towards a group of nurses, and immediately, Jessica was taken to an observation room for treatment, skipping the waiting room all together. He made it a point for the nurses to document everything they found. MRIs and CAT scans were demanded, too.

The next few moments kept Nessie in a trance, watching her father and how quickly he worked and could get things done. He may have been a shitty father, but there was no denying he was a damn good doctor. Nessie stood in the hallway, awed by his determination. He took his cell phone from the waistband of his scrubs and began dialing without missing a beat.

He paced back and forth in a small section of hallway, pressing the phone to his ear with one hand and balling the other hand into a fist. She remained angry with her father but was thankful for the way he was helping her friend. Was there good in him somewhere?

"Hello, Officer Brooks...Dr. Edward Cullen speaking...yes, it's an emergency...I have a young lady here at the hospital who has been beaten severely...yes, she has identified him and has multiple injuries...Tyler Crowley...you heard me correctly...yes, I suggest you look into this matter sooner than later and get an officer on the case now because, you see, if I get to him before you do, you'll be arresting me for something far worse than assault and battery..."

Edward snapped his phone shut and turned to his daughter, who stood motionless, leaning against the wall. Nessie remained dumbfounded by what her father had done. For once he seemed to have taken her side.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Her father took a few steps closer to her, making sure he didn't get too close, and rested his hands on his hips. His face looked contorted with emotion that he was struggling to contain, and Nessie realized that him dealing with the news that his daughter had been hurt by an abusive boyfriend was probably more than he could handle.

Edward wasn't the best husband, but he would never raise a hand against her mother or any other woman for that matter. She knew this kind of thing infuriated him. Having two doctors in her family also made her privy to the horrible things that people could do to one another. There was always that one story that affected her father and grandfather more than others, and it was those who had suffered dearly at the hands of an abuser.

"I...I...didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?" She was surprised to see his green eyes looking at her with sympathy and not anger for once.

"I couldn't. I just felt too embarrassed. You liked him so much...I didn't want to disappoint you," Nessie managed to say, darting her eyes away from his.

Her father let out a frustrated sigh.

"I would have believed you. You know that. I know I've been an ass to you, but I would have taken your word over his."

"You had a hell of a way showing me that I could come to you about anything."

The two stood, not speaking for a brief moment, and things that needed to be discussed were left unsaid. Nessie wasn't ready to talk to him right now. She had said her piece to him when she had her miscarriage and was still unable to forgive him for the way he had treated her and Jacob.

Even if they had wanted to talk, the arrival of Jacob pretty much put a stop to any other discussion between Nessie and her father. The two men didn't exchange a hello; their stares were enough to see how they felt about each other. There would be no hugging or making up between the two of them.

"How is she?" Jacob asked, turning to Nessie and blocking Edward from their conversation.

"I don't know..." she responded to him and then turned to her father. "Can we stay with her?"

"Of course, I'll make sure you can," Edward promised. "Um, I'll leave you two alone. I have work to do." He didn't wait for Nessie to respond as he hurriedly walked away. For a moment, he paused as if he'd forgotten to tell her something. His hesitation only lasted a moment, and his retreating figure disappeared through a set of double doors.

Jacob took her hand in his, and she led him to Jessica's room.

~o~O~o~

Jacob turned off the engine of the truck and hurried to open the door for Nessie before she could open the door for herself.

"I'm not disabled, you know. I can do a few things for myself," Nessie huffed, feeling the exhaustion set in.

"Just let me do it. Besides, you usually like me being all gentlemanly and all that stuff."

"I do...I'm just tired, Jacob. Don't mind me. You can open the door for me anytime," she said as she gave him a weary smile.

It was almost two in the morning, and the two of them were fatigued after being at the hospital all night. Getting back to Charlie's and falling into her warm bed sounded like heaven. Nessie was thankful Jacob would be here tonight. The whole incident with Tyler and Jessica hit a little too close to home, and it would be good for her to not be alone.

Luckily, the cops had picked up the jerk not too long after her father's phone call. Tyler was behind bars for now, and that would help her rest easy.

The two shuffled their feet towards the house, not noticing a familiar car parked on the street as they groggily made their way to the porch. Through a yawn, she noticed luggage piled next to the door; she rubbed her eyes, becoming more alert, and saw that the bags were Louis Vuitton.

She looked to Jacob, who had the same inquisitive look as she did. The door opened before they could even do it themselves.

"Hey, kids," Charlie said, greeting them.

Jacob followed Nessie in the house and almost ran into her when she stopped dead in her tracks.

There was her mother, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Mom?" Nessie cried.

"Hey, sweetie," Bella replied softly. It looked as if she had been crying. Nessie noticed two coffee mugs on the table, and knew her grandfather must have been catching up with his long, lost daughter.

"Your mother is going to stay with us for a while, Nessie," he said. "She's gonna take the attic room."

"Did you leave Dad?" Nessie immediately asked.

"Yes," Bella whispered.

Nessie ran to her mother, quickly closing the distance between them, and they wrapped their arms around each other.

"This has got to be the craziest date I've ever been on," Jacob exclaimed as he shut the door.


	38. Dog Days are Over

**"The dog days are over.  
The dog days are done.  
The horses are coming, so you better run."**

 _ **Dog Days are Over**_ **by Florence + the Machine**

Jacob mumbling as he dreamed woke Nessie up before any light peeked over the trees. She turned his way and found him still in his deep sleep. Nessie always enjoyed seeing him like this because he looked so peaceful. She often watched him when sleep escaped her. Bad dreams usually woke her, and falling back to sleep proved to be difficult, so she'd lay back down and focused on only him. Jacob's steady breathing would soon lull her back to repose, and the nightmares would be forgotten for just a bit.

She never remembered the bad dreams; the details escaped her as soon as she took her first deep breath into consciousness. The feeling of dread and the heaviness of whatever was in those nightmares stayed with her long after she came to.

She smelled coffee brewing, which finalized her decision to get out of bed. Staying there with Jacob, snuggled close to him, was always her first choice, but she wanted him to sleep. He kept himself so busy with work, school, football, and taking care of her that she couldn't bring herself to wake him just to keep her company. She rubbed her eyes, glanced at the clock, and shuffled her body out of the warmth of Jacob's embrace. 5:00 was early, but she couldn't go back to sleep now, craving a cup of instant caffeine.

Wrapping the robe around her as she walked cautiously down the stairs, Nessie expected to see her grandfather in the kitchen. He was always up always be up before dawn, hoping to get to the fish before they were even awake. She didn't smell his aftershave like usual as she walked down the hallway. Either he was still snoring away, or he had left way earlier than normal. This morning, however, she found her mom sitting quietly in the dim light of the kitchen, holding a mug tightly in her hands.

Bella's eyes were closed, but she didn't look asleep. She looked peaceful; deep in thought. Nessie knew her mother was dealing with so many issues at the moment. Not only did she have to struggle with her addiction, but she'd left her Edward, something Nessie never thought her mother could bring herself to do.

Nessie seemed to startle her mother, but it was only a split second later that a welcoming smile spread across Bella's face. Seeing her mom look happy made Nessie content. It had been a long time since her mother was really present in her life. Bella had been sober now for about two months, and Nessie could see how she struggled. With each day that passed, Nessie found more strength in her mother than ever, and the pride she had kept doubling with every day her mother made it without seeking a drink for comfort.

"Hey, sweetie."

It had only been a week since Bella showed up at Charlie's doorstep, needing a place to stay. The two Cullen girls found they really enjoyed being around each other. In just a short amount of time, they found out they fit perfectly together, one complimenting the other. Bella listened to Nessie like she was catching up on all the years she missed. In turn, Nessie didn't shut up. She never talked about anything significant; she just enjoyed having her mother around. Just sitting in the same room with her watching TV together was better than any mother/daughter bonding experience anyone could find.

"Hey, Mom. What has you up so early?"

"Oh, just couldn't turn off my brain. I wish there were some switch I could flip to shut up all the craziness up there." She laughed a bit. "I made it strong; I figured a strong cup of coffee is better than the gin I used to have."

"That's good thinking," Nessie replied, pouring a cup and taking a sip. She winced when the extreme bitterness of the coffee hit her taste buds. "You weren't kidding. Um, I think I'll add a little...or a lot of creamer in there to offset the taste of tar a bit."

Nessie watched her mom laugh. "Creamer's in the door of the fridge. Just bought some yesterday."

"How long has it been since you did the grocery shopping?" Nessie asked. Her grandmother or housekeepers usually took on that task at the Cullen house. She couldn't remember the last time her mother did anything remotely domestic.

"I don't know, but it was nice. I hadn't shopped close to the reservation before. It was nice not to be noticed or recognized. I used to take care of your grandpa, you know. I cooked and cleaned for him - even took care of you and him for a little while. I guess you know about that, don't you?" Bella's brown eyes diverted from her daughter, focusing again on her hands gripping the mug.

"Yeah, Grandpa told me. He's really great, Mom. He's glad you're back...at least for a little while. How long are you planning on staying?" she asked, making things get a bit too serious for Bella.

Her mother scooted away from the table, making a screeching sound when she did. "Do you have any hiking boots?" Bella asked, changing the subject abruptly.

"I do. Why? You want to go hiking?"

"Yep. What do you say?"

"Um, sure. You want to go now?" Nessie asked, surprised at the sudden mood change in her mom.

"Let's leave in an hour or so. That will give me time to pack our lunch, and you can get ready. Does that sound all right to you?"

"Sure. I'll be ready in a bit."

"I'll make sure I bring some coffee in the thermos. Knowing you and me, we'll need a little extra pick-me-up in the forest once the two of us are let loose," Bella chuckled, making a joke about the clumsiness they both shared.

Unexpectedly, Bella took Nessie in her arms and squeezed her daughter to her thin frame.

"I've missed you so much," Bella whispered. "Thank you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Mom, but why are you thanking me?"

Bella took her hands and placed them on either side of Nessie's face, looking her squarely in the eye. "For being my little nudger. For making me see I needed to live. For showing me I need to get myself together before your father and I can..." She couldn't finish her sentence. The thought of Edward was too much.

"Shhh...it's okay, Mom. I understand. We can talk about Dad when you're ready." Nessie held her mother closer and could feel the tears welling up as a result of her mother's openness. And soon a tear spilled over as she realized that her mother hadn't called her 'my little nudger' since she was little. It was Bella's special name given to Nessie during the pregnancy. Apparently, Nessie was quite the runner even back then.

They slowly let each other go, knowing they had plenty of time. Time would be their friend and allow them to catch up and be mother and daughter again. Nessie watched her mother leave the kitchen and then realized that she had agreed to go hiking. Clumsy Nessie and Bella alone in the woods. _This should be_ fun, she chuckled to herself.

Despite the paramedics that would have to be called to rescue them sometime today, she was happy to be doing something fun and adventurous. The outing sounded like a mixture of strange and wonderful all rolled into one. More time with her mom was always a good thing for Nessie. She headed up the stairs, knowing it would only take a few minutes to get ready . A pony tail, some warms clothes, and her boots would be all she needed. No makeup required, although she didn't wear much of it these days anyway. She was lucky to shower and change out of her pajamas most of the time.

Having her mother back and Jacob close by gave her the strength to move forward and face each day. Even Charlie's constant resolve and unconditional support pushed her through the depression when she felt herself slipping. In their own way, they always caught her in the nick of time; most of the time they did so without even knowing it. The bad dreams surfaced today, but her mom's presence and invitation to go hiking somehow helped her forget those dreams. Healing was coming. The hike would be just the time her mother and she needed to clear the air and talk about what really mattered, and then they could move on with their life...together.

She could feel something on the horizon about to change for the better; the dark days were over, and she sensed good. Her intuition, the fluttering sensation in her gut, told her so. For the first time since the loss of the baby, she felt like she could take a step forward. She would never forget that awful day - never forget the baby she wouldn't get to hold. Soon the memories would be a soft place to fall, only laced with a little bit of sadness. Nessie would never forget, but she would have to move on.

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or so the saying goes.

She took the stairs two at time, invigorated by a sip of tar coffee and a smile from her mom. She couldn't wait to open the door to be in the room with the man that was her life, the one she loved beyond any reason or sanity.

The door creaked as Nessie opened it, and she halfway wanted him to stay asleep, but another part of her wanted him awake. She stood in the doorway watching him. Everything about him mesmerized her in this moment. His dark hair had grown a little longer than when they first met, and it fell in his face. She wanted to reach out and brush it away to begin kissing the skin underneath. Whenever she kissed the curve of his nose, the high cheekbone that defined his face, or the tender place on his ear, he would always growl with want. She missed being close to him, touching him. Jacob and she had an undeniable physical attraction to one another. Keeping their hands off of one another had proved difficult from the moment they met.

Nessie knew nothing sexual between them could happen, but it had been so long since he'd wanted to touch her outside of the usual friendly hug here or kiss there. Ever since they shared their fiery kiss outside the movie theater, all she could think about was having him close to her again. What she desired more than anything, he wouldn't give her. But she hadn't been the epitome of desire lately either. Their date was the first time in a long while that she'd made a gallant effort to look, well, pretty. Otherwise, she did the bare minimum. How could Jacob want someone like that? Didn't someone like him deserve a woman who was desirable and sexy?

But the strange thing was that she wasn't looking for sex; she just wanted to feel the passion again; the passion that made her fall in love with him. She needed the touch of his hands on her naked body, feeling her all over, like he couldn't get enough of her. She knew he loved her, but did he want her anymore? Did he feel obligated to be here and sleep next to her at night to keep the bad dreams away? She had shut herself down so much after the incident that she was afraid she had pushed him away.

Nessie watched him roll over and open one eye, trying to focus on her from across the room. She leaned back against the door, locking it without looking. Her mother was busy, Charlie was gone, and no one cared what happened behind these closed doors.

"What time is it?" his gravelly voice asked.

"A little after five."

"Come back to bed. It's too early to be up." Jacob pulled the covers back, inviting her into the bed with him.

How could she say no?

Nessie knew that Jacob had no intention other than to take her in his arms and snuggle with her until their eyes popped open much later in the morning. Sunday meant that they could sleep in. There was no other agenda for him; being close to her was all he wanted. Nothing else. She knew she'd be asking for too much if she wanted more from him, but she was willing to try.

Nessie reciprocated the smile he gave and slid under the covers, laying next to him and making sure there wasn't any room between them. He had rolled onto his back, quickly assuming a going-back-to-sleep position. Nessie found herself laying half-way on top of him with her leg hitched across his body. Her hair had to tickle his bare chest as it cascaded across his skin.

She struggled with what she was doing. Could she really be seducing him when her intentions weren't sex? Was it really fair to ask him to do this for her? Maybe she could make it worth his while...

Her fingers nervously brushed the hair out of his eyes; they popped open as soon as she touched him. Pushing herself upwards, her lips came close to his, but she didn't nip at his them just yet. Her first kiss started below his jaw. It began with a little peck, but then her mouth had an immediate need to taste him. Her lips parted making way for her tongue to taste his sweet skin as she did. The wet kisses continued down his neck and to the top of his shoulder. Either she had gone too long without him or his taste was better than she remembered. His earlobe was her next target, but before she could make it there, his voice startled her and kept her from moving.

"Ness, what are you doing?" he asked in a surprised tone, pulling away from her.

"Nothing. Just kissing on you. Can I still do that?"

"Of course, baby, but...it's just..." His voice trailed off.

"It's just what?" She met his eyes with hers.

"It's just...we can't start something like this now." Jacob ran his fingers through his hair in obvious frustration.

Nessie moved her body on top of his, placing her hands on his chest. Her body lined up perfectly with his when she did; he let out a groan at the feeling of her center on his dick, which had grown hard at the first touch from her.

"From what I'm feeling, you and I can start whatever we want." Her hips rolled a little on him, causing him to groan again.

"Woman, do you know what you're doing to me? It's not a good idea to start this. Didn't you hear what the doctor said? We can't. Period."

She worried that she'd upset him, but her insecurity got the best of her. "Don't you want me anymore?"

"Of course I do. I want you all the fucking time, but we have doctor's orders to follow."

"But I just want you to touch me, Jake. I just need to feel you. You don't have to make love to me. Just show me you still want me. Can we do that?"

He didn't speak for what seemed like hours, not knowing how to answer. How could he tell her he still wanted her but couldn't act upon it? How could he explain that just a little bit of her wasn't  
enough. It was like the potato chip slogan said, _you can't eat just one_. He couldn't just fool around with her. Fucking her was the only option, and it wasn't even an option.

"It's too hard to stop, baby. Once we start _this_ , I have no restraint. I can't have me losing control and doing something we shouldn't. Do you understand?" He knew he would be hurting her, but doing what she asked would cause even more damage.

She understood completely and decided there was a way to get what they both wanted. She smiled a greedy smile and found the bottom of her tank top. She slowly raised it above her head and threw it down. She brought one of his arms to her body, taking his hand and placing it on her breast. His fingers twitched under hers, and she pressed his hand harder to her chest.

"I want you to touch me like you did before...before...the hospital. I want to know you love me and prove it by more than just words. Please do this for me...please."

"I don't know, baby. I don't know how I can stop-"

She interrupted him. "You don't have to stop. I'll make sure you're completely satisfied," she offered, hoping he knew what she meant.

"I don't know..." He hesitated again. Jacob knew exactly what she meant, and he wasn't sure if he should. The responsible Jacob was saying no and to wait the appropriate amount of time. The turned-on Jacob with a half-naked Nessie sitting on his dick was saying fuck yeah.

"Please let me take care of you. You've done nothing but take care of me. Just let me."

Nessie felt him push her off his body; she let out a sigh of discouragement, deflated. He still didn't speak, just raised himself enough to lean against the headboard.

"Don't look so sad," he whispered. "I didn't say no. Come here."

His hand took hers and brought her to him. He noticed her smile as she realized that she had gotten what she wanted. Wasn't that always the case with her? He was putty in her hands, especially when she used her nakedness to persuade him. After they slowly took the remainder of the clothing off of each other, she straddled his hips and met his chest with hers. He hissed as he felt the nipples of her breasts hard on his skin.

 _Let me take care of y_ ou replayed in his ears while she kissed him fervently, and he allowed his body to succumb to her wishes.

And he began to love her with no restraint. As he kissed her hard, the way he had when he'd found her on her doorstep and she'd come home to him, his hands explored every inch of her body. He took extra care to make sure every piece of skin had been touched and adored. When he heard her moan or her breath became more shallow, he let his hands linger wherever they were. She wanted to feel his love, and he did his best to show it.

In return, she helped him ease the tension that had been building for a few weeks now. Nothing could compare to her touching him, her pumping him up and down, bringing him to the verge of ecstasy. When she began moving her hot, wet center on him, mimicking the movement of her hand on his cock, he lost himself. His hips shook uncontrollably as he came, finally releasing the pressure. Even getting himself off never helped for long. Only Nessie could make him come like that.

"Thank you," she whispered as she burrowed her head into his chest.

"Whatever you like, Ness. Anything for you," he said, kissing the top of her head.

They continued to lay side by side, enjoying each other before Nessie had to interrupt their quiet moment. She needed to hurry and get ready for her hike.

"Where are you going?" he asked in a tired whisper, not liking her leaving his side.

"I almost forgot that I'm going hiking with Mom in a few minutes. We'll be back sometime after lunch," she replied, putting on her warm, flannel button-up.

"You and Bella. In the woods. Alone," he said flatly. "I don't like it."

She huffed in dismay at his comment and at the difficulty of getting her boot on. "We'll be fine and won't go far. We need this time. I think she's almost ready to talk about what happened between her and Dad. I have to go." She sensed he didn't like her answer and her disregard for his worry. "Besides, I'll bring the GPS thingy you and Grandpa Charlie like to mess with all the time."

"Bring your cell phone, too. You might not get coverage, but have it just in case."

"I will. Don't worry." She finished lacing the second boot and began tying her hair in a low ponytail.

"And if you're not home by one, I'm sending out a search party. You two together are dangerous."

Nessie laughed at his comment, leaned down, and kissed his forehead. "Because I love you, I'll forgive that last statement. We'll be fine."

She turned to go but not before she heard him say one last time, "Be back by one."

The door shut behind her, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Two backpacks were on the table, filled with whatever Bella thought they needed. Her mother made her appearance as Nessie finished buttoning her warm jacket. She noticed Bella humming softly as she floated around the kitchen, making her last-minute preparations.

"You ready?" Bella asked with a hint of enthusiasm.

"As I'll ever be."

They each grabbed their pack and headed to Bella's car; Nessie couldn't help but notice the sun peeking out from behind the tops of the trees in what seemed to be a cloudless sky, which made her just plain happy.

~o~O~o~

Nessie realized early on that her mother was on a mission. This was no ordinary hike. She noticed it the moment they drove out of Grandpa Charlie's driveway.

Evidently, Bella had a specific place in mind, not wanting to hike the trails on the Quileute reservation like Nessie had suggested. She didn't question her mother, soon realizing that this hike wasn't the spur of the moment thing that Nessie thought it was. She could only guess that her mother had been planning on doing something like this for a while, only now finding the courage to do it.

Bella had been very careful about which roads to take, talking to herself to make sure the directions in her memory were correct. Nessie just watched her mom figure out which way to turn and fight being confused with her internal directions. She wondered if she had been wrong in refusing to let Jacob come along. Her mother didn't seem the best navigator at the moment.

When they stopped at the dead end of a dirt road, Bella finally seemed satisfied.

"I think this is the spot," her mom said.

"What spot? Where are we going?" Nessie asked.

"You'll see," was her mother's cryptic reply.

They had been walking for almost two hours over the rough terrain, and there was a comfortable silence between the two of them. Any doubts Nessie had of her mother's sense of direction faded as she watched a determined Bella slice through the forest towards a place she had to find. Her mother stayed in front of her, a constant beacon of where to go. Bella seemed to make her way through the forest surprisingly well for someone who hadn't done much but drink for the past few years.

"Are we there yet?" Nessie asked, trying to catch her breath. She hadn't been that active lately, and the exertion of the morning had suddenly caught up with her.

Bella chuckled, "You sound just like you did when you were little when we'd take a long trip. Do you need to rest?"

Nessie shook her head no. "I'm fine. Just tell me it's close."

"It is. We should be there shortly."

"Good. Not running anymore has really decreased my endurance," Nessie said, making small talk.

"That and a few other things," Bella mumbled.

Nessie stopped walking and tried to ignore her mother's words but couldn't.

"What do you mean by that, Mom?"

Bella quit walking and turned to face Nessie. "I don't mean anything by it. I'm sorry...that came out all wrong. I'm still learning to talk to my grown-up daughter. I missed a few years, in case you don't remember," Bella replied with her sorrow in her voice. "I just meant that there was more to it than you not running anymore. You've been through a lot lately. It would have broken a weaker person, but not you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You have a lot of your father in you."

"I'm nothing like my father," Nessie spat.

"You're strong and stubborn like he is. You don't give in easily, not like me. I run and hide at the first sign of trouble, and you face it head on. No, you're more like him than you think. That's why you butt heads all the time."

Nessie squeezed her eyes together to keep the tears from exposing her pain. The hurt she suffered at the hand of her dad wasn't forgotten. She refused to talk about her father in this way. She figured they'd discuss him in relationship to her mom, not the other way around. Not ready to deal with the issues Nessie shared with him, she needed to change the subject fast.

"Can we talk about something else?" Nessie suggested.

"Okay. I just hope you'll be ready to talk about him soon. You and I both have some work to do in the Edward department."

"I know. It's just still very raw; everything that's happened is still very fresh on my mind. I'll try, though," Nessie said.

"Good. Let's start with something less upsetting, shall we? Then we'll work our way to the tough stuff. How does that sound?" Bella asked, seeming to accept her daughter's reluctance to talk about Edward now. They both began walking again towards a destination known only to Bella.

"That sounds good," Nessie replied, happy her mother wasn't going to force the Edward talk at the moment.

As the earth crunched beneath her feet, Nessie began to wonder if she would ever be ready to talk about the real issues; she had been so much braver earlier this morning. Just one mention of her dad had immediately sent a horrible feeling to her stomach. She wanted to run and not deal with him anymore, but she knew that this hike was going to be the time for her and Bella to talk about the big elephant in the room: Edward.

"Are you going back to school anytime soon?" Bella asked, making light conversation.

"Maybe after the summer. I just can't deal with it right now. I'm not sure what I want to do now. I'm not exactly on the Edward-Cullen-graduation plan anymore."

"I seem to recall a little girl who used to play school with her dolls all the time. I thought you wanted to be a teacher once."

Nessie had wanted to be a teacher, but that dream seemed so long ago for someone else now. That little girl was different; changed forever. Now her time consisted of just dealing with each day and trying to get through it; thinking about her future overwhelmed her too much. The one thing she had gotten excited about lately was when Billy happened to mention a need for help at the community center. He didn't push the issue, just put the information on the countertop for her to look at later. When she saw that the need was for a literature tutor, she became even more interested.

"I think I'm going to volunteer at the community center on the rez and do some tutoring for the local kids. Billy told me about the opening the other day."

"I think you'd be great at doing that," Bella said proudly, stopping suddenly and causing Nessie to almost run into her back.

"Oh, wow...we finally made it," Nessie heard Bella exclaim as they both came to a beautiful meadow that seemed to appear out of nowhere from out of the dense forest.

"It's...it's...unbelievable," Nessie breathed, taking in the beauty of the meadow, even in this late winter month. She could only imagine how it must look in the middle of spring when it would be at the height of its glory.

Bella paused and breathed in the crisp air, becoming alive after finding this special place. "This may be a bit too much information to share with you, but this meadow, my dear Renesmee, is where you were conceived."

Nessie should have taken in a deep breath because all the wind had just been knocked out of her.

~o~O~o~


	39. Little Lion Man

**"It was not your fault but mine.**

 **It was your heart on the line.**

 **I really fucked it up this time.**

 **Didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?"**

 _ **Little Lion Man**_ **by Mumford and Sons**

Nessie turned to her mother, shocked by what she'd just said. It was an unwritten rule that children blocked out the thoughts of their parents having sex. They had sex maybe once in order to be pregnant with the kid, but then, as far as the child wanted to know, their parents were celibate. Some even would even like to think immaculate conception played a role in their birth. Nessie knew her parents had sex, and on more than one occasion had overheard their bedroom antics, but actually hearing it come from her mother's mouth was a little creepy. Nessie knew what she and Jacob shared in the bedroom, and the thoughts of her parents doing the same thing really disturbed her.

"Uh, Mom...I really didn't need to know that."

"I know, but it's something I needed to tell you."

"Why?" Nessie wondered, not sure what her mom was doing or had planned.

But Bella didn't respond; she fixed her eyes on a spot out in the distance, dropped her backpack, and began moving to whatever held her gaze. Nessie watched as Bella walked to the middle of the meadow and sunk to her knees, lifting her eyes towards the sunlight as she did. Nessie didn't move, paralyzed at this private moment she was witnessing with her mother. She had no idea why her mom brought her here now, but whatever it was, Bella felt compelled to see it through.

Nessie got her legs moving and made a beeline for her mom. She saw the tears streaming down Bella's face as she got closer. Bella kept her eyes closed tightly but allowed the tears to flow. She didn't wipe any of them away; her arms stayed wrapped around her body, holding it together.

Nessie suddenly realized how her mother was feeling. The arms woven around her mother's middle gave it away. She'd felt the same whenever she thought Jacob was gone from her life. The big, gaping hole never went away, and she remembered feeling that, at any moment, her body would fall apart. Bella was hurting in the absence of Edward.

Whatever healing her mother needed, the meadow was the beginning of that process. Bella needed to remember what she and Edward had shared here.

"I had to make sure this place really existed," Bella whispered to Nessie, her eyes shut tightly.

"It does, Mom. It's real, and it's beautiful. Did Dad find this place?" Nessie questioned, wanting to help her mother and let her know she was there for her.

"He did. He brought me here after we'd been dating for a while. He brought wine and a lunch; he even lit a few candles in the middle of the day. It was beautiful," Bella said, finally opening her eyes.

"He loved you, even though he didn't show it in the best way." Nessie sat down by her mother and readied herself for whatever needed to be said.

"I know." Bella began wiping her tears with the end of her sleeve that poked out from her heavy coat. "I just needed to remember that he did. This place changed everything for us. After the meadow, our lives would never be like the fairytale we had before."

"Fairytale?" Nessie's voice sounded shocked at the thought of her mom and dad living a fairytale romance.

"You don't know the Edward that I knew back then. He was so handsome and had a personality that everyone was drawn to. Every guy wanted to be him, and every girl wanted him, and yet, he chose me."

Nessie laughed a bit thinking about her father being the big man on campus.

"He showered me with gifts and weekend trips. I'd never been outside of Washington before your father. The things he gave me cost more than what I made in a year at that horrible diner I worked in. He swept me off my feet, so to speak."

"He was easy to fall in love with, wasn't he?"

"Yes. I knew he was the one I wanted to marry. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. I threw myself at him on many occasions, but he told me we needed to wait for a special moment. For him, being with me was more than just the sex. That's when he brought me here."

Nessie laughed.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked.

"I didn't think that Dad and Jacob were alike in any way, but now I know of one way that they were."

"And what would that be?" Bella raised an eyebrow.

"Jacob did the same thing to me. I threw myself at him over and over again, and he made me wait. He wanted it to be the right time, too."

"I'm glad to hear that Jacob respected you like that. I know he comes from good people."

"Yes, he does."

"Your father has goodness in him, too. He just didn't deal well with things he couldn't control."

"No, he didn't deal well at all. I can tell you that much." Nessie couldn't help but think of the tyrant her father had become.

"But he had his reasons for being angry, even if they seemed irrational."

Nessie eyed her mother, wondering how on earth Bella could defend his behavior.

"Don't give me that look, young lady. I'm not excusing how he acted; just letting you know where he's coming from."

"Then tell me. Where is he coming from? What would possess him to act the way he did?" Anger filled her voice.

"Once you and I came back into his life after the falling out with Charlie, he changed from being the young guy giving me money for an abortion to the young man taking his role of a father very seriously. He lost you and me once; he tried to make sure it didn't happen again. He tried a little too hard, but it was done with your best interest mind."

"I don't see it that way. He made us into a dysfunctional family. What he did was controlling and intrusive. He cut you off from your family and friends. He had no business in my love life. Things would be different..." Nessie trailed off, unable to finish..

"Even after everything, I still love your father. I really didn't want to leave, but I had to get myself together first, you know. I needed to find the Bella I was before I became a mother and an alcoholic. I knew staying with him would only keep me from doing that. He'd have wanted to fix me and make me better, like he always did. But after I'd get well, I'd realize how lonely I was, and the cycle would just continue. "

"When he made me leave Jacob, I was done with him. I couldn't be around him without being ill. And then...the hospital...the baby..." Nessie raised her hands to her face, hiding her tears.

Bella took her daughter in her arms, held her close, and calmly stroked her hair.

"I know. He didn't mean for these things to happen. He didn't know how much you loved Jacob."

"I told him. That should've been enough."

"I know. I wish I could have helped."

"Me, too."

After a few moments of silence, Bella spoke again. "But I'm here now."

The trek back to the car seemed longer to Nessie, but maybe it was due to the fact that neither of them had anything more to talk about. Everything they needed to say was left behind. Only the meadow heard the apologies, the forgiveness, and the tears. Nessie shed the resentment and the hurt she felt towards her mother all those years. She vowed to leave it behind in that meadow and never look back. She even felt that she just might be able to make amends with her father. Maybe.

Nessie watched her mom open the car door, and before she disappeared inside, Nessie called out to her.

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

Bella nodded.

"Are you going to go back to Dad when you figure things out?" Nessie's fingers gripped the door handle.

"I want to," she answered.

"Do you love him?"

"More than I want to."

The engine roared, and they headed back to their lives without Edward, but they were never able to forget him for too long. He was always around, filling their thoughts. Nessie knew that for the sake of her mother she would have to find peace with the man who hurt her. She would have to forgive him for butting into her life and controlling it. Bella had Nessie back; now all she needed was Edward to complete her healing.

Nessie would work on forgiving her father for the sake of her mother; deep down she knew she'd have to do it for herself, too.

~o~O~o~

 _Two months later..._

"Thanks, Ms. Cullen. See you on Tuesday."

"No problem, Abram. Don't forget to read over your essay one more time before turning it in. You can never poof it too many times, you know." Nessie smiled at the youth who not that long ago came to her with a failing grade in his literature class at La Push High. Now, after getting help from her at the community center, he was earning a B and actually enjoyed the class he once dreaded.

Abram smiled back as he tried to walk out of the room, but he hit the wall instead, missing the doorway altogether. Nessie watched him give a nervous laugh and bolt out of the center.

"You know, I think he has a crush on you," a voice called out from the hallway.

"Abram? No, he doesn't," Nessie said shyly, disbelieving what her supervisor, Kim, had said.

"In the two months you've been here, our cases have doubled." Kim thrummed her fingers on Nessie's desk while raising a knowing eyebrow.

"Well...yes, but it has nothing to do with those kids having crushes on me."

"Maybe...maybe not. You have to admit that there's something about you that makes these kids want to be around you. You're good at what you do, too. These kids love school now, and they have you to thank for that. And I like the fact that I can see my baby more. I can actually leave without worrying, because I know you're here."

Nessie's chest warmed at Kim's words. She'd never been happier. Teaching at the community center on the reservation was something she enjoyed and looked forward to every day. Kim had no idea that Nessie owed the kids so much more than she could ever afford. They had helped her find her passion: Teaching.

"Speaking of babies, when will you bring Caleb back up here? I haven't seen him in almost two weeks. In baby age, that's years!" Nessie exclaimed.

"He's so good. I can't believe he's three months old already. I miss him when I work, but Jared is so good with him that I don't have to worry. We'll be at the council meeting tomorrow night. Will you come with Jake?"

"Of course we're coming, and I get first dibs on holding Caleb, okay?"

"Sure thing, my number one employee."

"Why thank you, Boss Lady. I won't bring up the fact that I'm your only employee." Nessie winked at Kim. Nessie had gone from volunteer to employee since starting at the community center. Her passion to help the youth on the rez made Kim realize she needed to hang onto Nessie any way she could.

"Well, if I had an office full, you'd still be number one. See you tomorrow." Kim turned to leave and stopped before she did. "Um, some guy came in looking for you."

"Really? Jake's supposed to be at school right now." Nessie shuffled the papers on her desk, stacking them in a pile.

"No, it wasn't Jake. I would know him if I saw him, believe me. No, this guy was older with a beard. He left when I told him you were with a student." Kim stopped and studied Nessie's face for moment.

"Why are you staring at me, Kim? Is something between my teeth?" Nessie inquired, looking around for a mirror of some kind.

"He just seemed...sad. I told him to wait, but he left without a word."

"Maybe he'll come back another time, but right now, I'm going home." Nessie grabbed her messenger bag and headed out the door with Kim.

~o~

After stopping at the store for the steaks and all the fixings, Nessie was well on her way to getting dinner started for everyone.

"Smells good. Need me to start grilling?" Charlie asked as he hung up his hat and coat.

"Yes, please. Jacob and Mom should be home anytime." Nessie couldn't believe that she had become the cook of the family. Her mother had found a part-time job at a dentist's office, saying she needed something to fill up her time. Nessie knew that staying busy would help keep her mom from drinking. She also knew it would keep Bella from thinking about Edward for a bit. He hadn't called or tried to make contact with his wife since she came to Charlie's, which obviously upset her. Bella tried not to show it, but everyone knew why she was always a little sad. She missed Edward, and not hearing from him made it worse.

With Charlie busy with his social life, a widow named Sue had been keeping him occupied lately, and Jacob's busy schedule, Nessie decided she could help by feeding everyone. She stuck to the basics-tacos, spaghetti, steak, and a few easy casseroles. No one complained, at least out loud.

"I'll go get the coals fired up and ready."

"Thanks, Grandpa," she said, taking the steaks that had been marinating out of the fridge. "The steaks are ready when you are."

She heard her grandfather close the backdoor, and the sound was soon followed by the hum of a motorcycle engine. Jacob had made it home. She couldn't hide her excitement knowing that he was here. For the most part, he still lived with his father, taking care of things and making sure Billy was cared for, but most of his time was spent with Nessie at her grandfather's house. She enjoyed taking care of her family, doing the cooking and the cleaning. Some might see it as old-fashioned, but Nessie didn't mind. Her whole life had been anything but typical, and having a family to help take care of made her feel normal.

"Hey, you," Jacob said, hanging up his helmet by the door.

"Hey yourself." She turned to Jacob to give him a hug, but he had other plans. His body became close to her, his mouth already kissing her neck. Coming to Charlie's house after a busy day of school and practice was a highlight of his. Nessie was all his. He never knew that keeping up his GPA and playing collegiate football would be this hard, and feeling her soft body against his and touching the curve of her hips made him hard. She was his reward at the end of the day; the sweetest prize anyone could ask for. He inhaled the sweet smell of her hair and kissed the small patch of exposed skin on her shoulder, needing her more with every caress.

She forgot what she was doing, and cutting the carrots for the salad ceased. Jacob's touch was all she could think about. Nessie made sure she set let go of the knife, so she wouldn't do anything stupid with it while Jacob kissed her. Holding on to any pointed object while she was rendered helpless wouldn't be the best decision in the world.

A small whimper escaped when she felt his hand slide under her shirt, wrapping around her waist. She draped her arm around his neck; her fingers roamed through his thick hair. His body pressed to her more.

"Are you alone?" he breathed, sending chills down her spin.

"No, Grandpa's, um...getting...the...grill going, oh.." Nessie couldn't make a complete sentence to save her life.

A loud shut of the door emanated throughout the kitchen, interrupting their private moment.

Jacob jumped as far away from Nessie as he could. Charlie's presence had startled them both.

"We were just...um..." Nessie stammered.

Charlie glared at the two of them, saying nothing. He just made his way to his gun cabinet and strummed his fingers a few times on the glass as if he were thinking, but Jacob got the silent message loud and clear. Charlie was still head of this household, and Nessie was still his granddaughter. Jacob didn't need to be reminded of the cabinet full of every gun known to man, but evidently, Charlie thought he did. The old man scowled, grabbed the steaks, and stormed out the door.

The two lovers burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Why don't I finish the salad, and you can set the table?" Nessie suggested and handed him the plates.

"Sure, sure. I don't want to see any of your Grandpa's guns anytime soon."

~o~

"Mom, let me help with the dishes," Nessie requested.

"No, I got it, sweetie. You cook. I clean. Go relax." Bella grabbed another dish and began scrubbing. Both of their heads turned when they noticed Charlie putting on his coat and hat. He must have sensed them looking at him because he turned to face them.

"Dad, where are you going at this hour?" Bella asked, dropping a dish into the sink.

"It's only 8:30, and I'm taking Sue to the late movie. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" Nessie's grandpa rubbed his mustache, giving them a don't-give-me-crap-about-this look at the same time.

"No, sir. Not one problem," Bella quipped back.

"Have fun, Grandpa," laughed Nessie.

The door slammed behind him, and the kitchen was filled with laughter once again.

"I don't even want to know," Nessie exclaimed, taking the table cloth to the laundry room.

"The less you know about your parents, the better," Bella hollered.

Nessie turned, taken aback by her mother's comment. "Um, Mom. If I'm not mistaken, I was taken by you to the place where I was conceived. You think that might be too much information?"

"Oh, shut up and go do whatever it is you need to do."

Nessie could hear her mom hum quietly as she finished cleaning the kitchen. Nessie loved the comfortable dynamic her family had together. She didn't feel like she walked on egg shells anymore and didn't have to pretend to be anyone other than herself.

Nessie walked down the dark hallway to the laundry room nestled in the back of the house. She opened up the cabinet to get the stain stick. Jacob and her grandfather left a few steak sauce stains behind. She shoved the table cloth in the washer and began the cycle. The door squeaked a bit, but she paid no mind.

That was until she heard the door shut.

Jacob quietly closed the door to the tiny room, taking in a deep breath as he did. His memory travelled back in time to the night he and Nessie had shared in his laundry room. Back then, she was an innocent girl he'd handled with too much care. Now, she had transformed into this sexy woman that satisfied him sexually beyond anything he could ever hope for. She was dangerous in the bedroom, and she had no clue how much control she had over him.

He took one step and was against her body again, ready to finish what was started in the kitchen.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked, still holding the stain stick, oblivious to what he wanted.

"I'm pretty sure I don't have to answer that question, do I?" He reached his arms behind his body, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. His body needed her, and he couldn't wait any longer. He barely made it through dinner. All Jacob wanted to do was send everyone out and take her right there on the table. The way she kept her hand on his thigh during dinner made the need even worse.

The little bottle of stain stick dropped from Nessie's grasp, and her hands made their way immediately to his head. Their mouths found each other, desperately wanting more. He fumbled with the hem of her shirt, becoming distracted by her skin underneath. Nessie never broke her kiss, except to move the cotton shirt up and over her head. His palm immediately flew to her breast, squeezing and caressing. He moved the lace down to expose her nipples, wanting to feel them harden beneath his touch. She braced herself on the washing machine, letting him play and enjoying the sensation of his hands on her.

She hissed once she felt his moist lips on the swell of her breasts. A quiet moan came from deep within her, and she became unable to stop the slow burn that needed to be quenched.

"I could live here," he moaned as he moved to the other nipple and softly bit it.

The wetness that pooled between her legs needed him somewhere else. Nessie gently took his hand and slid it down between her thighs, making him feel her and how much she needed him.

"I want you here, though. Now...please," she cried. Jacob took over rubbing her, making her more wet. "Take them off...please," she whispered.

Jacob moved her pants down around the curve of her hips, down her creamy thighs, and helped her kick them out of the way once they found their way to the floor, panties and all. He removed his athletic pants without hesitation. It didn't take long for him to be naked with her.

His throaty grunt echoed off the walls when he placed her bare bottom on the washer. He smiled, hearing a tiny shriek from her, probably from feeling the cold metal below her skin.

Her nails scratched up his back, pulling him closer and leaving him red marks as a souvenir. Nessie lowered her hips down to the edge, lining herself up to his cock that was ready and waiting for her. She opened her legs, straddling his hips. Her hands raked down his back to his rear, squeezing his firm ass with the palms of her hands. Feeling his hardness at her entrance caused her to press his body to her more. All she came in her for was to wash the table linen, but she got so much more than she bargained for. Now that Nessie had him so close, she wanted him even closer. The sooner the better.

Jacob didn't hesitate in giving her what she wanted and entered her in on swift push of his hips, just as the washer began vibrating right below her.

She bit her lip and let out a moan, taken over by feeling Jacob inside her. His head tilted to her shoulder, breathing heavily as he began moving in her slowly and making her crazy at his easy pace. Since they'd begun having sex again, he'd been different; taking care in every movement he made as if he didn't want to hurt her. At first Nessie understood; she needed that and welcomed the love making that was sweet, gentle, and never rushed. Now, however, at this moment, she didn't want him to hold back. Nessie wanted Jacob to take her fast and hard.

Placing her lips by his ear, she whispered, "You don't always have to be so gentle with me, Jacob."

He paused for a brief moment, moving his eyes to hers. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"You can't hurt me. I don't want you to hold back anymore. Okay?" She moved the hair that had fallen in his eyes and kissed his nose, letting her lips trail across his cheek and then continuing down his jaw. She felt his hands grip her back as she did.

"Lay back on your elbows, baby,"Jacob ordered.

She followed his instructions and waited. His fingers tickled her ankle that had wrapped itself around his hip. Jacob then eased her leg upwards, placing it on his shoulder. Nessie forced herself to breathe because she was sure she had been holding her breath. Her elbows rested on the cold metal, and she braced herself for what he was about to do to her.

She couldn't keep her eyes from rolling back in her head when his body began rocking back and forth with hers, steadily increasing his pace. Jacob began moving the washer when he did. He evidently needed this just as much as she did. The moans she heard escape his lips spurred her on, turning her on more than she already was.

Jacob pounded into her, no longer worried about hurting her. He could tell she liked how rough he was being, and he loved the feeling of her pussy like this. It was all he could do to hold on a little longer; it wouldn't take any time at all for him to come when he was fucking her like this. It didn't help his situation that every time he thrust hard into her, her tits bounced, sending his senses reeling. His fantasy was right in front of him, and he didn't know how he got so lucky.

He listened to her whimpers escalate, letting him know she was almost there. Jacob felt her leg tighten around his shoulder and watched as she threw her head backwards.

"Ung...that's it, Jacob. Ah...right...there," she called out.

His pace quickened, feeling the base of his cock tightening, signaling his orgasm.

"Ness...uh..." Jacob grunted one last time before feeling his seed pulse through his shaft and out into her clenching pussy. Her hips lifted to meet his, pressing into him as she continued to contract around him.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you so damn much?" he said, smiling with deep satisfaction. Jacob took her in his arms and enjoyed holding her there.

"Maybe once or twice." She paused. "You know I love you, too," she continued, kissing his chest.

"I know. I won't ever forget. You're the best part of me."

Nessie held him tighter, overwhelmed by him.

"Jacob?"

"Mmm hmm" he hummed.

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

"Not that asking permission has ever stopped you before." He snickered a bit, and she glared back at him. "Of course you can."

"How do you see us? I mean, what do you see for us in five, ten, twenty years?"

"That is a serious question." He rubbed his thumb absent-mindedly on her arm.

Nessie couldn't see a future without Jacob in it, and she wanted to know how she fit in to his. They never really talked about it. They knew they were madly in love, but nothing was said about where their relationship was headed.

For the brief moment of time she was pregnant, they had talked about their future together, but only because there was a baby on the way. Once the reason for their plans had been suddenly been taken away, did those plans still hold true? Did he still want to be with her for the rest of his life, even without the baby?

"I just see you with me...always, and I just wondered if you see me when you think about our life together down the road." She could barely speak above a whisper.

Jacob sensed the little insecurity she always seemed to have. He thought her question was crazy. How could she think she'd not be in his life? He thought she knew.

"My future is you. You're the only thing I'm sure of. I don't know about anything else or what will happen, but there's never been a time when you aren't there." He took his forefinger and tilted her chin up so that she looked directly into his eyes.

"I want to marry you. Build a house with you. Have kids with you. Fight and argue only with you. Don't you ever worry about where you fit in my life because you're a given. I will always love you, and you'll always be with me."

Nessie began to cry, hearing him say what she'd assumed all along.

"I want those things, too. I want it all, especially the kid part. I can't help but feel guilty for..."

"Stop. Don't say anything about what happened. We're going to have lots of babies. We won't forget about our first one, but just know I want to try with you again. Whenever we're ready, it'll happen. Okay?"

Nessie nodded her head, falling more in love with this man. How she could love him more, she didn't know.

"We better get dressed before your mom begins to look for us," Jacob said as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

After they dressed, Nessie led the way down the hallway, back to the kitchen with Jacob not far behind. She tried to look like nothing happened while they were in the laundry room, but the happiness on her face was hard to suppress.

"How's the laundry coming?" Bella asked, taking a break from sweeping the floor.

Nessie blushed and looked away, summoning Jacob for help with talking.

"Should be finished at any moment," Jacob said quickly, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, any minute now," Nessie blurted out, still flushed with embarrassment.

"Mmm hmm. I don't think the table cloth was the only thing getting taken care of in the laundry room." Bella smirked and began sweeping again.

"Mom!" Nessie cried out. Bella got that far-away look in her eyes and kept talking.

"I miss those days of having sex wherever and whenever the moment hits. Sounds like you two had fun."

"Um, I'm going to walk Jacob out before he heads home. I'm also going to pretend that I didn't have this conversation with you." Nessie opened the door and got out of the house as fast as she could. She was still embarrassed that her mom heard what went on in the laundry room  
and by her mother's openness about her own sex life.

"That wasn't awkward at all, was it?" Jacob joked, squeezing Nessie's hand as they walked outside.

"I'm still a little flustered," she confessed.

"I can tell. You're blushing," he noted. He watched her run her hands through her hair, seeing how the light from the moon cast a metallic glow on it.

"I don't want you to go. Can't you stay tonight?" she asked, breaking his grasp as he mounted his bike. She couldn't keep her mind from wandering as she watched him. Nessie liked what just happened in the laundry room, and she wanted him again. Seeing Jacob on his bike did something to her. He was even sexier sitting there, looking like a bad boy.

She wondered if one day she could ride him on this bike. She was pretty sure he wouldn't say no to having sex on his prized possession.

"Did you hear me?" he questioned, lightly rubbing her arm to get her attention. He realized that Nessie had been in her own little world and not heard a word he said.

"I'm sorry. I just lost my train of thought." _If you only knew what I was thinking, you'd be the one embarrassed...either that or turned on,_ she thought to herself.

"I have to take Dad to an early appointment tomorrow, so I can't stay tonight, but I'll pick you up for the council meeting tomorrow, okay?" He pulled her to him, kissing her forehead.

"Okay, I'll wait patiently until then." She nuzzled her head into his chest.

"What were you thinking about just then?" Jacob asked, being curious.

"I can't tell you. It's too humiliating," she laughed.

"Try me."

She paused, trying not to laugh again. Apparently she became a giggle box when she was embarrassed. "I won't go into details, but it involves you, me, and your bike."

Nessie gave him a coy smile after watching the surprised look on his face. He had no idea what he was getting into with asking those sorts of questions.

"Now you're just making me suffer. I really can't leave now. If I didn't have to get home and help Dad, I'd be making that little fantasy a reality...damn, Ness." Jacob shifted his weight a little  
on his bike, adjusting himself.

Nessie could see him struggling to keep himself from taking her right then and there.

"You better go before Billy begins to get worried." Nessie leaned in and kissed him one last time before he started the engine. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

"Ditto," he breathed back.

He pulled out of the drive, but not before he watched her sweet ass disappear inside.

Jacob drove home extra fast, hoping that going top speed would calm his body down and help him quit thinking about fucking her on his bike. He also thought that focusing on the road would keep his mind off her leaning on it, naked and looking over her shoulder, ready for him. He thought that trying not to crash while going so fast would keep him from fantasizing about taking her from behind.

Nothing he did helped him one bit, but the hard on he had did go away once he heard the  
sirens blaring behind him.

Getting a ticket took the wind out of his sails, for a little while, at least.

~o~O~o~

The voices weren't yelling, but they definitely were loud. They came from outside, at least Nessie thought they did. Still hazy from being awakened in the middle of night, she draped her robe around her and looked out her dormer window. She couldn't see to whom the voices belonged, but even in her groggy state, she recognized them.

Her father was here.

She rushed down the stairs but didn't dare go outside and disturb the conversation he was having with her mom. It didn't, however, keep her from snooping. Nessie peeked through a window just enough out of the way that they couldn't see her. Even though she wasn't able to make out most of their words, she still watched, entranced with seeing the two of them together.

Her father looked older and tired, and he had grown a beard. She'd heard from her family that he had taken a sabbatical and left for the Alaskan wilderness. Nessie thought that maybe he was seeking answers to fix his marriage or trying to figure out what had gone wrong in his life and with his daughter. Whatever he had done had brought him here. After two months of silence, he finally surfaced, ready to talk. Maybe he was ready to beg for forgiveness from his loved ones. Nessie didn't know.

She kept watching the heated exchange between her parents. Soon she noticed how their demeanor changed as well as the tones in their voices. Every once in a while, Edward and Bella would say nothing at all, staring at each other, but neither one gave up or left. Nessie silently prayed they would find a common ground.

The time passed in the dark, and she watched the transformation of her mom and dad's body language; it went from stiff and cold to relaxed and comfortable. They were actually close enough that if one of them reached out, they would make contact. Nessie could see how they wanted to touch but never did. The talking ceased, and an awkward silence soon passed. She actually thought she heard the words _I'm sorry_ come from him. That's when she knew that her father was here to bring Bella back home.

She watched as Bella began to cry, holding her head in her hands.

Nessie's heart softened when she saw Edward take her mother in his arms and begin stroking her long, brown hair. She had to look away from something so intimate; those moments weren't meant to be shared. Before she turned her head, she did manage see her father breathe in Bella, filling himself with her scent.

For the first time, she saw the look of contentment in his face; he had his life in his arms again. Nessie could see his love in the way he held her. The tense man who was arguing with her a few minutes ago looked so much younger and happier now. Through the window, she witnessed what seemed to be the reconciliation of her parents, and she felt calm, as if something inside her had mended back together.

Something that seemed broken for so long had suddenly been healed a little bit. Seeing her mom and dad together again reminded her of what she'd always dreamed for her family. Maybe they'd all be together soon.

As she closed the blinds from where she stood, she suddenly realized who Kim was talking about earlier today. The older man who came by looking for her must have been her father. Was he looking for her to apologize and to make amends? She could only assume he was. He had found her mother; maybe Nessie was next.

For now, she let them have their moment together, and she headed back to her bed, sleeping peacefully without Jacob for the first time.

~o~O~o~

Jacob took a beer from the bottom of the cooler and made sure he got a bottled water for Nessie. They made it to the council meeting not too long ago, but she hadn't really talked to him. He knew it had to do with her father; she'd told him that much, but she hadn't gone into detail about it. Nessie just told him that her dad showed up last night and was gone when she woke up this morning. Bella wasn't really saying anything and soon was gone as well. Nessie didn't feel like talking about it, and he knew that he'd be ready to listen when she decided to talk. He just could help but feel a rage deep down whenever her father was mentioned.

As far a Jacob was concerned, the ass hole was on his reservation, his territory. He couldn't wait to see Edward face to face and ask him to get the fuck off his land because he wasn't welcome here. He replayed a few scenarios in his head and found satisfaction in making Edward feel unwelcome. Jacob had on more than one occasion felt insignificant and unwelcome in the presence of her father. It was time the tables were turned.

"Here, Ness." Jacob handed her the water, and he took a swig of his beer, needing to take the edge off.

"Thanks." She followed him to a blanket that had been spread out on the ground. He sat down and helped her sit close to him. He let her lean on him, wrapping an arm around her and sensing a distance between them that he didn't like.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, needing her to be all right and not so distracted by whatever happened at her house.

"I don't really know. I thought I was last night, but waking up to silence and being ignored again doesn't feel good. I feel like I'm twelve again." She nervously twisted her bottle cap on and off again.

Jacob seethed on the inside but put on a happy face for her. Tonight was supposed to be fun. The tribal legends would be told around the fire, a tradition that was as old as his people. He didn't know how long it would be before he would be the one telling the stories, weaving the tales of the wolves around the warmth of the fire. He felt it an honor to listen and be apart of something so sacred. He wanted Nessie to feel it, too. This would be her first time coming to something like this, and he didn't want it ruined with family drama.

"Maybe they have a good reason for leaving today. Maybe you'll find out later." He tried to make things better by throwing some bullshit reason out there.

"Maybe...I thought I didn't want to talk to him or see him again for that matter, but I saw him and my mom make up. I just thought..." She couldn't finish.

"What, baby?"

"I thought I was next." They both fell silent, and Jacob wanted to punch Edward even more.

Even though she acted like she didn't want to be around her father, deep down she needed closure with him. For some strange reason, she needed his approval and wanted him to apologize.

"I thought he'd make things right." Nessie wiped a lone tear from her face. "I guess I was wrong."

Before he could say anything, Jacob felt a huge slap on his back followed by a familiar laugh.

"Hey, ass hole!" Quil yelled, holding out his hand to his friend. "It's been too long since I've seen you, now that you're a big-shot football player."

Jacob stood and shook his friend's hand.

"The season hasn't even started yet, but you're one to talk. You're the big-shot manager at the garage now. You actually fooled them into thinking you knew something about running an auto shop. I can't believe you got such a huge promotion," Jacob joked.

"Watch it, Jake. You know I can still fire your ass. You barely work anymore these days anyway."

"Seriously, dude. I'm proud of you. I always knew you always had it in you to be a responsible human being and all." Jacob helped Nessie up, and she walked over to hug her friend Quil.

"Well, I have a few reasons for growing up. I can't really be a good husband if I'm not bringing home any money, now can I?" Quil said, sneaking a smile at Claire, who appeared at his side.

"What? You're married? When did this happen?" yelled Nessie.

"No, no. Not married...yet. I just popped the question last night. We haven't told anyone until now. We wanted the two of you to be the first to know." Quil took Claire and pulled her to him; the look of sheer happiness was written all over his smiling face.

"Oh my God! I'm so happy for you," Nessie screamed to Claire. The two girls squealed as they embraced.

"I can't believe it myself," Claire said, pulling away from her friend, who promptly grabbed her hand to see the ring.

"It's so beautiful," Nessie exclaimed. The simple ring wasn't big or overly ornate, but it was perfect for her.

"Then it won't be long before you two will be toting around one of these guys," a voice called out from behind them. "Quil still doesn't know how to control his volume. I'm pretty sure everyone around here heard him say he was getting married." Jared walked up, holding little Caleb in his arms. The baby was sleeping peacefully on his daddy's chest, snuggled under a blue blanket.

"I hope we'll have a few years to ourselves, but I can see us having one of these little guys running around," Claire said. She looked at Quil as if he were the only person on the beach. The girl who was so reluctant to fall in love with the guy she thought to be a nuisance was now head over heels in love with him. So in love, in fact, that she would be marrying Quil and starting a family with him.

Nessie's attention floated over to Jacob. She was consumed by how happy and content he was standing around his buddies, talking about marriage and children. She wanted this happiness, too. It was long overdue, and she was ready for her and Jacob's life to begin. She vowed the problems between her and her father wouldn't interfere anymore, or so she kept telling herself.

A small twinge of sadness hit Nessie as she looked at Caleb, feeling sad for what was never to be, but it left as quickly as it came, seeing Jared come her way.

"Kim told me that I better let you hold him. Do you want to?" he asked.

"You don't even have to ask." Nessie's eyes brightened as Jared took the small, dark-skinned baby and placed him in her arms. She cuddled him to her chest and bent down to smell his head. Caleb had the distinct baby smell that Nessie couldn't get enough of.

"You look good holding a baby," Jacob said to her, putting his arm around her. He knew that one day they'd get to be parents, but they needed to be young and in love for a little while longer.

"He's so good. I can't believe how well he's sleeping with all this commotion around," Nessie spoke softly to Jared.

"You should be around in the middle of the night. He's not so quiet then. Kim and I haven't slept through the night in forever...but that's okay. He's worth it."

Nessie was glad that Jared let her hold the baby while he talked with his friends. She knew she'd get to be a mom one day, and until then, she could wait patiently and get her fix with Caleb. She hummed a lullaby, not noticing the revelry around her. Jacob was happy, so she was happy.

A huge roar of laughter from the group of guys quickly died down. Nessie had been so taken by baby Caleb that she didn't see her mother approach, but it wasn't her appearance that caused the sudden hush; a quiet Edward stood right behind Bella, eyeing Nessie and her friends.

No one moved or said a word. The tension was palpable, and Nessie searched for words, but they never came. She watched as her father moved out from behind her mother. Her nerves got the best of her, and she suddenly felt weak. She held Caleb tighter, which helped keep her together.

Jacob made sure he stood right next to Nessie, knowing she'd need him for support. He couldn't wait to tell Edward that he could leave the same way he came. His glare never wavered as he watched Edward come closer to Nessie.

Edward's green eyes looked softer, and his jaw didn't look tense like Nessie had remembered it always being. Nessie was confused by the almost-grin he had on his lips. For some reason, he stared at his daughter as she held the baby. The sweet joy of new life didn't seem lost him. She couldn't quite figure out what to do or say, so she waited for her father to say something first.

She watched his slender finger reach out and touch Caleb's tiny hand softly so as to not wake him. Nessie hoped her strength would hold, so she wouldn't chance falling with the precious baby in her arms.

Edward started to speak but held back, choking back words or tears...maybe both. He didn't pull his finger from Caleb but kept his focus on the boy. Was the image of her with this child too much? Did it remind him of what was lost? Edward was obviously overcome with emotion that Nessie had never seen him show before.

He took in a deep breath, trying to speak again.

"He looks beautiful in your arms," Edward managed to say. His eyes drifted from Nessie to Jacob. "I know one day the two of you will have a little boy like him. Maybe you'll let me be around to see it happen?"

Jacob's anger for her father begin to dissipate once he saw the obvious remorse in his tear-filled eyes. He was no longer ready to kick him to the curb. For what it was worth, Edward was making amends the best he knew how, and Jacob didn't want to start trouble.

Edward stuck out his hand to Jacob, which caught him off guard. "Thank you for taking care of my daughter when I didn't. You're a good man, and I misjudged you. For that, I'm sorry."

Jacob thought back to how much he'd hated this man and realized how difficult it must be for Edward to swallow his pride. He was torn as to what to do. Jacob eyed the hand that Edward kept extended and thought of not shaking it, but that was before he saw the look on Nessie's face. She had baby Caleb cradled in the crook of her neck, and she she was crying, but she didn't look sad. Whatever Edward's intentions had been, his attempt at making amends was making Nessie happy. Jacob knew Nessie needed her father in her life. He knew their future together would be better with everyone finally at peace with one another.

Edward moved his hand one last time towards Jacob, and he finally accepted.

"I love her. I'll always look out for her, sir," Jacob replied.

"I know. I won't have to worry about her." Nessie watched her dad squeeze Jacob's hand before releasing it. He turned to his daughter, taking his hand and placing it on top of hers where she held the baby. "My only worry will be that she'll hate me for the rest of her life. It was never her fault for anything that happened between us. I was the one who messed up."

Nessie's tears kept falling even though a smile graced her lips. Her father's words melted the ice she'd held in her heart for him. She looked to Bella, whose cheeks were wet with tears, too. She placed a kiss in the air to her daughter, and a sob escaped from Nessie, knowing her life could begin without the resentment she'd been holding onto.

"I know you may never forgive me for the trouble I've caused, but if you could just allow me to be back in your life, I promise to do nothing but love you like I should have all along. Do you think that's possible?"

Nessie carefully walked to Jared and reluctantly gave him back the sweet baby because she had no idea whether she could hold him with the way she was trembling at the moment. Jared took Caleb, who kept sleeping, never making a peep.

She stepped quickly to her father, grabbing him around the neck and feeling him put his arms around her at the same time. She knew their problems wouldn't go away so easily, and they still had a lot to work on, but knowing her dad wanted to make things better made all the difference in the world.

She kept holding on to him, finally feeling the unconditional love she'd sought all along.

"Yes...it's possible, Dad"

"You have no idea how it makes me feel to hear you say that. I love you, Renesmee." He held her tightly, not letting go.

"I love you, too."

Their moment was broken by a smiling Billy, being helped in his wheelchair by Charlie. There didn't seem to be a dry eye in the house.

"Welcome, everyone. It's time to begin," Billy spoke, filled with authority. He then turned to Jacob. "Son, I think it's time for me to listen."

"What?" a confused Jacob questioned.

"I think it's time that I sit back and let the next chief tell the legends."

"I'm not ready," Jacob stammered.

"Yes, you are, son. You know these stories better than I do. It's time I passed the torch." Billy paused, waiting for more opposition from his son but got none. "Now, if all of our people and their guests would make their way to the fire, we have a few stories to tell."

The story they all would remember the most would be the one that said no matter how hard life could be, they all needed to hold on to the strength of those who loved them. For in the end, they were all stronger together than apart. Their faith in one another would make them persevere through good and bad times, and cling to the hope for their future as a family.

But the most important part of story they'd never forget was about love. They had learned to love one another at all times, even when they didn't feel like it. Because even when there seemed like no redemption was in sight, love overflowed unexpectedly, never failing to touch those in its path and softening the hardest of hearts.

They would never let it out of their reach again because love never fails. They knew this to be true because they were still around to tell the tale.

 _The end_.


	40. Epilogue

**"So, baby hold on just another day or two.  
I can see the clouds are moving faster now,  
And the sun is breaking through.**

 **If you can hold on to the one that's holding you,  
There is nothing that can stop this crazing love from breaking through."**

 _ **Hold On**_ **by Toby Mac**

Weddings could be a nightmare. From the months of planning to endless, mundane discussions about flowers and icing, getting married was a difficult process for all those involved, but this wedding went off without a hitch. That is, except for not being able to find the bride and groom whenever the toasts were being made. A few minutes later, a quick survey of the grounds found the happy couple in a small closet satisfied and smiling. They just couldn't wait for the honeymoon.

The bride couldn't have been more beautiful; Alice made sure of it. The groom seemed to be the lucky son-of-a-bitch who was just happy that she said yes to his marriage proposal. The look on his face throughout the ceremony gave away how much he loved the woman standing beside him who vowed her life and love to him.

An eruption of cat calls and whistles erupted from the small crowd when the preacher presented the new Mr. and Mrs. Emmett McCarty to the congregation. There was never a bigger smile on Edward's face as he stood and applauded the new couple.

The small, private wedding took place on the beach on the Blacks' Miami estate. When Rose let Nessie know that Emmett had proposed, the younger Cullen jumped at the chance to have the ceremony at her house. The beach behind their home was the perfect venue, and having everyone here would bring a bit of home to their new place.

Jacob and Nessie had moved to their dream home after the Dolphins picked him in the second round of the draft. After they received the first installment of his paycheck, they knew they wanted to buy a house. Money never mattered to either of them, but not having to worry about it or ask their family for anything was good for them.

Life had changed since their days at the University of Forks. Being the new starting quarterback for a professional team was a whole new experience. More demands were made of Jacob, and life seemed to speed up ten fold. Their house was their sanctuary; the place where they could be alone and forget the world and the real life demands, at least for a little while.

Nessie happily accepted Jacob's offer to leave the reception for a little while to take a walk on the beach. He needed to get away from all the wedding madness and have time alone with his wife. They walked a little ways, letting the fine sand tickle their feet as they did. Jacob noticed Nessie's pace slowing down a bit and could hear her breathing become labored. He knew they needed to rest; the wedding planning with Alice had consumed her, and just the smallest of tasks wore her out these days.

Nessie lay between his legs as he leaned against a large piece of driftwood that had been used as seating around a fire pit that had long burned out. They listened to the waves lap onto the shore and held each other as the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

Jacob rubbed her swollen belly, a habit he had gotten into lately; he couldn't help himself. His child grew inside her, and there was no bigger pride for him. Watching her get more beautiful everyday as her body changed for their baby made him feel complete and like everything was right with the world. It wouldn't be long before they were able to hold their own baby. Hopefully many more would follow.

Nessie rolled his platinum band around his finger. The Quileute designs etched into the ring calmed her as she ran her fingers back and forth over it. Hers matched his, only smaller. She didn't want a diamond or anything ornate. On their wedding day three years ago, all she'd needed was him; jewelry didn't matter. They were bonded more than any wedding band could signify; they were soul mates in every sense of the word.

On their slow walk back to the party, they held hands. They'd held on through the rough times, clinging to their love, the only thing they had at times. He linked his fingers with hers, holding on to her, the woman who made him a better person. And she melted her body into his, thankful for the man who rescued her.

They knew they would grow old together, bending and not breaking to whatever hardships would come their way. They knew they'd make it if they could just hold on to one another and their love.

And they did.

~o~O~o~


End file.
